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How to Write a Memoir: Examples and a Step-by-Step Guide

Zining Mok  |  January 29, 2024  |  32 Comments

how to write a memoir

If you’ve thought about putting your life to the page, you may have wondered how to write a memoir. We start the road to writing a memoir when we realize that a story in our lives demands to be told. As Maya Angelou once wrote, “There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”

How to write a memoir? At first glance, it looks easy enough—easier, in any case, than writing fiction. After all, there is no need to make up a story or characters, and the protagonist is none other than you.

Still, memoir writing carries its own unique challenges, as well as unique possibilities that only come from telling your own true story. Let’s dive into how to write a memoir by looking closely at the craft of memoir writing, starting with a key question: exactly what is a memoir?

How to Write a Memoir: Contents

What is a Memoir?

  • Memoir vs Autobiography

Memoir Examples

Short memoir examples.

  • How to Write a Memoir: A Step-by-Step Guide

A memoir is a branch of creative nonfiction , a genre defined by the writer Lee Gutkind as “true stories, well told.” The etymology of the word “memoir,” which comes to us from the French, tells us of the human urge to put experience to paper, to remember. Indeed, a memoir is “ something written to be kept in mind .”

A memoir is defined by Lee Gutkind as “true stories, well told.”

For a piece of writing to be called a memoir, it has to be:

  • Nonfictional
  • Based on the raw material of your life and your memories
  • Written from your personal perspective

At this point, memoirs are beginning to sound an awful lot like autobiographies. However, a quick comparison of Elizabeth Gilbert’s Eat, Pray, Love , and The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin , for example, tells us that memoirs and autobiographies could not be more distinct.

Next, let’s look at the characteristics of a memoir and what sets memoirs and autobiographies apart. Discussing memoir vs. autobiography will not only reveal crucial insights into the process of writing a memoir, but also help us to refine our answer to the question, “What is a memoir?”

Memoir vs. Autobiography

While both use personal life as writing material, there are five key differences between memoir and autobiography:

1. Structure

Since autobiographies tell the comprehensive story of one’s life, they are more or less chronological. writing a memoir, however, involves carefully curating a list of personal experiences to serve a larger idea or story, such as grief, coming-of-age, and self-discovery. As such, memoirs do not have to unfold in chronological order.

While autobiographies attempt to provide a comprehensive account, memoirs focus only on specific periods in the writer’s life. The difference between autobiographies and memoirs can be likened to that between a CV and a one-page resume, which includes only select experiences.

The difference between autobiographies and memoirs can be likened to that between a CV and a one-page resume, which includes only select experiences.

Autobiographies prioritize events; memoirs prioritize the writer’s personal experience of those events. Experience includes not just the event you might have undergone, but also your feelings, thoughts, and reflections. Memoir’s insistence on experience allows the writer to go beyond the expectations of formal writing. This means that memoirists can also use fiction-writing techniques , such as scene-setting and dialogue , to capture their stories with flair.

4. Philosophy

Another key difference between the two genres stems from the autobiography’s emphasis on facts and the memoir’s reliance on memory. Due to memory’s unreliability, memoirs ask the reader to focus less on facts and more on emotional truth. In addition, memoir writers often work the fallibility of memory into the narrative itself by directly questioning the accuracy of their own memories.

Memoirs ask the reader to focus less on facts and more on emotional truth.

5. Audience

While readers pick up autobiographies to learn about prominent individuals, they read memoirs to experience a story built around specific themes . Memoirs, as such, tend to be more relatable, personal, and intimate. Really, what this means is that memoirs can be written by anybody!

Ready to be inspired yet? Let’s now turn to some memoir examples that have received widespread recognition and captured our imaginations!

If you’re looking to lose yourself in a book, the following memoir examples are great places to begin:

  • The Year of Magical Thinking , which chronicles Joan Didion’s year of mourning her husband’s death, is certainly one of the most powerful books on grief. Written in two short months, Didion’s prose is urgent yet lucid, compelling from the first page to the last. A few years later, the writer would publish Blue Nights , another devastating account of grief, only this time she would be mourning her daughter.
  • Patti Smith’s Just Kids is a classic coming-of-age memoir that follows the author’s move to New York and her romance and friendship with the artist Robert Maplethorpe. In its pages, Smith captures the energy of downtown New York in the late sixties and seventies effortlessly.
  • When Breath Becomes Air begins when Paul Kalanithi, a young neurosurgeon, is diagnosed with terminal cancer. Exquisite and poignant, this memoir grapples with some of the most difficult human experiences, including fatherhood, mortality, and the search for meaning.
  • A memoir of relationship abuse, Carmen Maria Machado’s In the Dream House is candid and innovative in form. Machado writes about thorny and turbulent subjects with clarity, even wit. While intensely personal, In the Dream House is also one of most insightful pieces of cultural criticism.
  • Twenty-five years after leaving for Canada, Michael Ondaatje returns to his native Sri Lanka to sort out his family’s past. The result is Running in the Family , the writer’s dazzling attempt to reconstruct fragments of experiences and family legends into a portrait of his parents’ and grandparents’ lives. (Importantly, Running in the Family was sold to readers as a fictional memoir; its explicit acknowledgement of fictionalization prevented it from encountering the kind of backlash that James Frey would receive for fabricating key facts in A Million Little Pieces , which he had sold as a memoir . )
  • Of the many memoirs published in recent years, Tara Westover’s Educated is perhaps one of the most internationally-recognized. A story about the struggle for self-determination, Educated recounts the writer’s childhood in a survivalist family and her subsequent attempts to make a life for herself. All in all, powerful, thought-provoking, and near impossible to put down.

While book-length memoirs are engaging reads, the prospect of writing a whole book can be intimidating. Fortunately, there are plenty of short, essay-length memoir examples that are just as compelling.

While memoirists often write book-length works, you might also consider writing a memoir that’s essay-length. Here are some short memoir examples that tell complete, lived stories, in far fewer words:

  • “ The Book of My Life ” offers a portrait of a professor that the writer, Aleksandar Hemon, once had as a child in communist Sarajevo. This memoir was collected into Hemon’s The Book of My Lives , a collection of essays about the writer’s personal history in wartime Yugoslavia and subsequent move to the US.
  • “The first time I cheated on my husband, my mother had been dead for exactly one week.” So begins Cheryl Strayed’s “ The Love of My Life ,” an essay that the writer eventually expanded into the best-selling memoir, Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail .
  • In “ What We Hunger For ,” Roxane Gay weaves personal experience and a discussion of The Hunger Games into a powerful meditation on strength, trauma, and hope. “What We Hunger For” can also be found in Gay’s essay collection, Bad Feminist .
  • A humorous memoir structured around David Sedaris and his family’s memories of pets, “ The Youth in Asia ” is ultimately a story about grief, mortality and loss. This essay is excerpted from the memoir Me Talk Pretty One Day , and a recorded version can be found here .

So far, we’ve 1) answered the question “What is a memoir?” 2) discussed differences between memoirs vs. autobiographies, 3) taken a closer look at book- and essay-length memoir examples. Next, we’ll turn the question of how to write a memoir.

How to Write a Memoir: A-Step-by-Step Guide

1. how to write a memoir: generate memoir ideas.

how to start a memoir? As with anything, starting is the hardest. If you’ve yet to decide what to write about, check out the “ I Remember ” writing prompt. Inspired by Joe Brainard’s memoir I Remember , this prompt is a great way to generate a list of memories. From there, choose one memory that feels the most emotionally charged and begin writing your memoir. It’s that simple! If you’re in need of more prompts, our Facebook group is also a great resource.

2. How to Write a Memoir: Begin drafting

My most effective advice is to resist the urge to start from “the beginning.” Instead, begin with the event that you can’t stop thinking about, or with the detail that, for some reason, just sticks. The key to drafting is gaining momentum . Beginning with an emotionally charged event or detail gives us the drive we need to start writing.

3. How to Write a Memoir: Aim for a “ shitty first draft ”

Now that you have momentum, maintain it. Attempting to perfect your language as you draft makes it difficult to maintain our impulses to write. It can also create self-doubt and writers’ block. Remember that most, if not all, writers, no matter how famous, write shitty first drafts.

Attempting to perfect your language as you draft makes it difficult to maintain our impulses to write.

4. How to Write a Memoir: Set your draft aside

Once you have a first draft, set it aside and fight the urge to read it for at least a week. Stephen King recommends sticking first drafts in your drawer for at least six weeks. This period allows writers to develop the critical distance we need to revise and edit the draft that we’ve worked so hard to write.

5. How to Write a Memoir: Reread your draft

While reading your draft, note what works and what doesn’t, then make a revision plan. While rereading, ask yourself:

  • What’s underdeveloped, and what’s superfluous.
  • Does the structure work?
  • What story are you telling?

6. How to Write a Memoir: Revise your memoir and repeat steps 4 & 5 until satisfied

Every piece of good writing is the product of a series of rigorous revisions. Depending on what kind of writer you are and how you define a draft,” you may need three, seven, or perhaps even ten drafts. There’s no “magic number” of drafts to aim for, so trust your intuition. Many writers say that a story is never, truly done; there only comes a point when they’re finished with it. If you find yourself stuck in the revision process, get a fresh pair of eyes to look at your writing.

7. How to Write a Memoir: Edit, edit, edit!

Once you’re satisfied with the story, begin to edit the finer things (e.g. language, metaphor , and details). Clean up your word choice and omit needless words , and check to make sure you haven’t made any of these common writing mistakes . Be sure to also know the difference between revising and editing —you’ll be doing both. Then, once your memoir is ready, send it out !

Learn How to Write a Memoir at Writers.com

Writing a memoir for the first time can be intimidating. But, keep in mind that anyone can learn how to write a memoir. Trust the value of your own experiences: it’s not about the stories you tell, but how you tell them. Most importantly, don’t give up!

Anyone can learn how to write a memoir.

If you’re looking for additional feedback, as well as additional instruction on how to write a memoir, check out our schedule of nonfiction classes . Now, get started writing your memoir!

32 Comments

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Thank you for this website. It’s very engaging. I have been writing a memoir for over three years, somewhat haphazardly, based on the first half of my life and its encounters with ignorance (religious restrictions, alcohol, and inability to reach out for help). Three cities were involved: Boston as a youngster growing up and going to college, then Washington DC and Chicago North Shore as a married woman with four children. I am satisfied with some chapters and not with others. Editing exposes repetition and hopefully discards boring excess. Reaching for something better is always worth the struggle. I am 90, continue to be a recital pianist, a portrait painter, and a writer. Hubby has been dead for nine years. Together we lept a few of life’s chasms and I still miss him. But so far, my occupations keep my brain working fairly well, especially since I don’t smoke or drink (for the past 50 years).

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Hi Mary Ellen,

It sounds like a fantastic life for a memoir! Thank you for sharing, and best of luck finishing your book. Let us know when it’s published!

Best, The writers.com Team

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Hello Mary Ellen,

I am contacting you because your last name (Lavelle) is my middle name!

Being interested in genealogy I have learned that this was my great grandfathers wife’s name (Mary Lavelle), and that her family emigrated here about 1850 from County Mayo, Ireland. That is also where my fathers family came from.

Is your family background similar?

Hope to hear back from you.

Richard Lavelle Bourke

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Hi Mary Ellen: Have you finished your memoir yet? I just came across your post and am seriously impressed that you are still writing. I discovered it again at age 77 and don’t know what I would do with myself if I couldn’t write. All the best to you!! Sharon [email protected]

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I am up to my eyeballs with a research project and report for a non-profit. And some paid research for an international organization. But as today is my 90th birthday, it is time to retire and write a memoir.

So I would like to join a list to keep track of future courses related to memoir / creative non-fiction writing.

Hi Frederick,

Happy birthday! And happy retirement as well. I’ve added your name and email to our reminder list for memoir courses–when we post one on our calendar, we’ll send you an email.

We’ll be posting more memoir courses in the near future, likely for the months of January and February 2022. We hope to see you in one!

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Very interesting and informative, I am writing memoirs from my long often adventurous and well travelled life, have had one very short story published. Your advice on several topics will be extremely helpful. I write under my schoolboy nickname Barnaby Rudge.

[…] How to Write a Memoir: Examples and a Step-by-Step Guide […]

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I am writing my memoir from my memory when I was 5 years old and now having left my birthplace I left after graduation as a doctor I moved to UK where I have been living. In between I have spent 1 year in Canada during my training year as paediatrician. I also spent nearly 2 years with British Army in the hospital as paediatrician in Germany. I moved back to UK to work as specialist paediatrician in a very busy general hospital outside London for the next 22 years. Then I retired from NHS in 2012. I worked another 5 years in Canada until 2018. I am fully retired now

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I have the whole convoluted story of my loss and horrid aftermath in my head (and heart) but have no clue WHERE, in my story to begin. In the middle of the tragedy? What led up to it? Where my life is now, post-loss, and then write back and forth? Any suggestions?

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My friend Laura who referred me to this site said “Start”! I say to you “Start”!

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Hi Dee, that has been a challenge for me.i dont know where to start?

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What was the most painful? Embarrassing? Delicious? Unexpected? Who helped you? Who hurt you? Pick one story and let that lead you to others.

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I really enjoyed this writing about memoir. I ve just finished my own about my journey out of my city then out of my country to Egypt to study, Never Say Can’t, God Can Do It. Infact memoir writing helps to live the life you are writing about again and to appreciate good people you came across during the journey. Many thanks for sharing what memoir is about.

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I went to Egypt earlier this year. I aspire for my second book to document and tell the story of my travels of Africa, following the first – a memoir that led me to this post.

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I am a survivor of gun violence, having witnessed my adult son being shot 13 times by police in 2014. I have struggled with writing my memoir because I have a grandson who was 18-months old at the time of the tragedy and was also present, as was his biological mother and other family members. We all struggle with PTSD because of this atrocity. My grandson’s biological mother was instrumental in what happened and I am struggling to write the story in such a way as to not cast blame – thus my dilemma in writing the memoir. My grandson was later adopted by a local family in an open adoption and is still a big part of my life. I have considered just writing it and waiting until my grandson is old enough to understand all the family dynamics that were involved. Any advice on how I might handle this challenge in writing would be much appreciated.

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I decided to use a ghost writer, and I’m only part way in the process and it’s worth every penny!

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Hi. I am 44 years old and have had a roller coaster life .. right as a young kid seeing his father struggle to financial hassles, facing legal battles at a young age and then health issues leading to a recent kidney transplant. I have been working on writing a memoir sharing my life story and titled it “A memoir of growth and gratitude” Is it a good idea to write a memoir and share my story with the world?

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Thank you… this was very helpful. I’m writing about the troubling issues of my mental health, and how my life was seriously impacted by that. I am 68 years old.

[…] Writers.com: How to Write a Memoir […]

[…] Writers.com: “How to Write a Memoir” […]

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I am so grateful that I found this site! I am inspired and encouraged to start my memoir because of the site’s content and the brave people that have posted in the comments.

Finding this site is going into my gratitude journey 🙂

We’re grateful you found us too, Nichol! 🙂

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Firstly, I would like to thank you for all the info pertaining to memoirs. I believe am on the right track, am at the editing stage and really have to use an extra pair of eyes. I’m more motivated now to push it out and complete it. Thanks for the tips it was very helpful, I have a little more confidence it seeing the completion.

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Well, I’m super excited to begin my memoir. It’s hard trying to rely on memories alone, but I’m going to give it a shot!

Thanks to everyone who posted comments, all of which have inspired me to get on it.

Best of luck to everyone! Jody V.

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I was thrilled to find this material on How to Write A Memoir. When I briefly told someone about some of my past experiences and how I came to the United States in the company of my younger brother in a program with a curious name, I was encouraged by that person and others to write my life history.

Based on the name of that curious program through which our parents sent us to the United States so we could leave the place of our birth, and be away from potentially difficult situations in our country.

As I began to write my history I took as much time as possible to describe all the different steps that were taken. At this time – I have been working on this project for 5 years and am still moving ahead. The information I received through your material has further encouraged me to move along. I am very pleased to have found this important material. Thank you!

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Wow! This is such an informative post packed with tangible guidance. I poured my heart into a book. I’ve been a professional creative for years to include as a writer, mainly in the ad game and content. No editor. I wasn’t trying to make it as an author. Looking back, I think it’s all the stuff I needed to say. Therapy. Which does not, in and of itself, make for a coherent book. The level of writing garnering praise, but the book itself was a hot mess. So, this is helpful. I really put myself out there, which I’ve done in many areas, but the crickets response really got to me this time. I bought “Educated” as you recommended. Do you have any blog posts on memoirs that have something to say to the world, finding that “something” to say? It feels like that’s theme, but perhaps something more granular. Thanks for this fantastic post. If I had the moola, I would sign up for a class. Your time is and effort is appreciated. Typos likely on comments! LOL

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thanks. God bless

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I am a member of the “Reprobates”, a group of seven retired Royal Air Force pilots and navigators which has stayed in intermittent touch since we first met in Germany in 1969. Four of the group (all of whom are in their late seventies or early eighties) play golf together quite frequently, and we all gather for reunions once or twice a year. About a year ago, one of the Reprobates suggested posterity might be glad to hear the stories told at these gatherings, and there have since been two professionally conducted recording sessions, one in London, and one in Tarifa, Spain. The instigator of these recordings forwarded your website to his fellow Reprobates by way of encouragement to put pen to paper. And, I, for one, have found it inspiring. It’s high time I made a start on my Memoirs, thank you.

Thank you for sharing this, Tim! Happy writing!

Hi, I’m Jo. I’m finally jumping in and writing the memoir that has been running alongside me for at least the last 5 years. I’m terrified, of what I’m not 100% sure. The story won’t leave me alone and right now is the time to start my first draft. I’m approaching half way through what nature may call natural life on Earth, mid-life sounds strange to say. It just feels like the right time to document the journey thus far – especially the last decade. It’s been a radical time for transformation, internally and externally. I’m afraid but your post and these comments have helped.

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Good luck on your memoir, Jo! I’m excited to hear more.

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The Write Practice

Write a Great Memoir: How to Start (and Actually Finish) Your First Draft

by Joe Bunting | 1 comment

When I first started writing my memoir, Crowdsourcing Paris , about a real-life adventure I experienced with my wife and ten-month-old son, I thought it was going to be easy.

After all, by that point in my career, I had already written four books, two of which became bestsellers. I’ve got this, I thought. Simple.

How to Write a Memoir: How to Start (and Actually Finish) Your First Draft

It wasn’t. By the time Crowdsourcing Paris was published and became a #1 New Release on Amazon, it was more than five years later. During that time, I made just about every mistake, but I also learned a process that will reliably help anyone to start and finish writing a great memoir.

My memoir, Crowdsourcing Paris , as a #1 New Release on Amazon!

In this guide, I want to talk about how you can start writing your memoir, how you can actually finish it, and how you can make sure it’s good .

If you read this article from start to finish, it will save you hundreds of hours and result in a much better finished memoir.

Hot tip : Throughout this guide, I will be referencing my memoir Crowdsourcing Paris as an example. To get the most out of this guide and the memoir writing process in general, get a copy of the book to use as an example. Order your copy here »

But Wait! What Is a Memoir? (Memoir Definition)

How do you know if you're writing a memoir? Here's a quick memoir definition:

A memoir is a book length account or autobiography about a real life situation or event. It usually includes a pivotal experience in your life journey.

A key point to make is that memoir is a  true story . You don't have to get every piece of dialogue perfect, but you do have to try to tell the personal story or experience as best as you remember.

If you're looking to fictionalize your real life account you're writing a novel, not a memoir (and specifically a roman à clef novel ).

For more on the difference between a novel and a memoir, check out this coaching video:

This Memoir Writer Impressed Me [How to Write a Memoir]

How to Get Started With Your Memoir: 10 Steps Before You Start Writing

This guide is broken into sections: what to do before you start writing and how to write your first draft.

When most people decide to write a memoir, they just start writing. They write about the first life experience they can think of.

That’s sort of what I did too. I just started writing about my trip to Paris, beginning with how I first decided to go as a way to become a “real writer.” It turned out to be the biggest mistake I made.

If you want to finish your memoir, and even more, write a good memoir, just starting with the first memory you can think of will make things much harder for you.

Instead, get started with a memoir plan.

What’s a memoir plan? There are ten elements. Let’s break it down.

Get the memoir plan in a downloadable worksheet. Click to download your memoir plan »

1. Write Your Memoir Premise in One Sentence

The first part of a memoir plan is your premise. A premise is a one-sentence summary of your book idea.

You might be wondering, how can I summarize my entire life in a single sentence?

The answer is, you can’t. Memoir isn’t a full autobiography. It’s not meant to be a historical account of your entire life story. Instead, it should share one specific situation and what you learned from that situation.

Every memoir premise should contain three things:

  • A Character. For your memoir, that character will always be you . For the purposes of your premise, though, it’s a good idea to practice thinking of yourself as the main character of your story. So describe yourself in third person and use one descriptive adjective, e.g. a cautious writer.
  • A Situation. Memoirs are about a specific event, situation, or experience. For example, Marion Roach Smith’s bestselling memoir was about the discovery that her mother had Alzheimer’s, which at the time was a fairly unknown illness. My memoir, Crowdsourcing Paris , begins on the first day of my trip to Paris and ends on the day I left. You can’t write about everything, at least in this book. But you can write about one thing well, and save all the other ideas for the next book.
  • A Lesson. What life lesson did you learn from this situation? How did your life change inexorably after going through this situation? Again, here you can’t write about everything you’ve ever learned. Choose ONE life lesson or emotional truth and focus on it.

Want to see how a premise actually looks? Here’s an example from my memoir Crowdsourcing Paris :

When a Cautious Writer is forced by his audience to do uncomfortable adventures in Paris he learns the best stories come when you get out of your comfort zone.

One thing to note: a premise is not a book description. My book description, which you can see here , is totally different from the premise. It’s more suspenseful and also less detailed in some ways. That’s because the purpose of a premise isn’t to sell books.

What is the premise of your memoir? Share it in the comments below!

2. Set a Deadline to Finish Your First Draft

Or if you’ve already finished a draft, set a deadline to finish your next draft.

This is crucial to do now , before you do anything else. Why? Because there are parts of the memoir plan that you can spend months, even years on. But while planning is helpful, it can easily become a distraction if you don’t get to the writing part of the process.

That’s why you want to put a time limit on your planning by setting a deadline.

How long should the deadline be?

Stephen King says you should write a first draft in no longer than a season. So ninety days.

In my 100 Day Book program, we’ve helped hundreds of memoir writers finish their book in just 100 days. To me, that’s a good amount of time to finish a first draft.

However, I wouldn’t take any longer than 100 days. Writing a book requires a level of focus that’s difficult to achieve over a long period of time. If you set your deadline for longer than 100 days, you might never finish.

Also set weekly milestones.

In addition to your final deadline, I recommend breaking up the writing process into weekly milestones.

If you’re going to write a 65,000-word memoir over 100 days, let’s say, then divide 65,000 by the number of weeks (about 14) to get your weekly word count goal: about 4,600 words per week.

That will give you a sense of how much progress you’re making each week, so you won’t be in a huge rush to finish right at the end of your deadline. After all, no one can pull an all-nighter and finish a book! Create a writing habit that will enable you to actually finish your book.

Keep track of your word count deadlines.

By the way, this is one reason I love Scrivener , my favorite book writing software , because it allows you to set a target deadline and word count. Then Scrivener automatically calculates how much you need to write every day to reach your deadline.

It’s a great way to keep track of your deadline and how much more you have to write. Check out my review of Scrivener to learn more.

3. Create Consequences to Make Quitting Hard

I’ve learned from experience that a deadline alone isn’t enough. You also have to give your deadline teeth .

Writing a book is hard. To make sure that you show up to the page and do the work you need to finish, you need to make it harder to not write.

How? By creating consequences.

I learned this from a friend of mine, writer and book marketing expert Tim Grahl .

“If you really want to finish your book,” he told me, “write a check for $1,000 to a charity you hate. Then give that check to a friend with instructions to send it if you don’t hit your deadline.”

“I don’t need to do that,” I told him. “I’m a pro. I have discipline.” But a month later, after I still hadn’t made any progress on my memoir, I finally decided to take his advice.

This was during the 2016 U.S. presidential election. So I wrote a $1,000 check to the presidential candidate that I most disliked (who shall remain nameless!), and gave it to a friend with instructions to send the check if I didn’t hit my final deadline.

I also created smaller consequences for the weekly deadlines, which I highly recommend. Here’s how it works:

Consequence #1 : Small consequence, preferably related to a guilty pleasure that might keep you from writing. For example, giving up a game on your phone or watching TV until you finish your book.

Consequence #2 : Giving up a guilty pleasure. For example, giving up ice cream, soda, or alcohol until you finish your book.

Consequence #3 : Send the $1,000 check to the charity you hate.

Each of these would happen if I missed three weekly deadlines. If I missed the final deadline, then just the $1,000 check would get sent.

After I put in each of these consequences, I was the most focused and productive I’ve ever been in my life. I finished my book in just nine weeks and never missed a deadline.

If you actually want to finish your memoir, give this process a try. I think you’ll be surprised by how well it works for you.

4. Decide What Kind of Story You’re Telling

Now that you’ve set your deadline, start thinking about what kind of book you’re writing. What is your story really about?

“Memoir is about something you know after something you’ve been through,” says Marion Roach Smith, author of The Memoir Project .

I think there are seven types of stories that most memoirs are about.

  • Coming of Age. A story about a young person finding their place in the world. A great example is 7 Story Mountain  by Thomas Merton.
  • Education. An education story , according to Kim Kessler and Story Grid, is about a naive character who, through the course of the story, comes to a bigger understanding of the world that gives meaning to their existing life. My memoir, Crowdsourcing Paris , is a great example of an education memoir.
  • Love. A love story is about a romantic relationship, either the story of a breakup or of two characters coming together. Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert is a great example of a love story memoir, as it tells the story of her divorce and then re-discovering herself and love as she travels the world.
  • Adventure/Action. All adventure stories are about life and death situations. Also, most travel memoirs are adventure stories. Wild by Cheryl Strayed is a great example, and Crowdsourcing Paris is also an adventure story. (You can apply the principles from our How to Write Adventure guide here , too!)
  • Performance. Performance memoirs are about a big competition or a competitive pursuit. Julie and Julia , Julie Powell’s memoir about cooking her way through Julia Child’s recipes, is a good example of a performance memoir. Outlaw Platoon , about the longest-serving Ranger platoon in Afghanistan, is another great performance story.
  • Thriller. Memoirs about abuse or even an illness could fall into the crime, horror, or thriller arena. (Our full guide on How to Write a Thriller is here .)
  • Society. What is wrong with society? And how can you rebel against the status quo? Society stories are very common as memoirs. I would also argue that most humor memoirs are society stories, since they talk about one person’s funny, transgressive view on society. Anything by David Sedaris, for example, is a society memoir.

For more on all of these genres, check out Story Grid’s article How to Use Story Grid to Write a Memoir .

Three Stories

Note that I included my memoir in two categories. That’s because most books, including memoirs, are actually a combination of three stories. You have:

  • An external story. For example, Crowdsourcing Paris is an adventure story.
  • An internal story . As I said, Crowdsourcing Paris is an education story.
  • A subplot . Usually the subplot is another external story, in my case, a love story.

What three stories are you telling in your memoir?

5. Visualize Your Intention

One of the things that I’ve learned as I’ve coached hundreds of writers to finish their books is that if you visualize the following you are much more likely to follow through and accomplish your writing goals:

  • Where you're going to write
  • When you're going to write
  • How much you're going to write

Here I want you to actively visualize yourself at your favorite writing spot accomplishing the word count goal that you set in step two.

For example, when I was writing Crowdsourcing Paris , I would imagine myself sitting at this one café that was eight doors down from my office. I liked it because it had a little bit of a French feel. Then I would imagine myself there from eight in the morning until about ten.

Finally, I would actively visualize myself watching the word count tracker go from 999 to 1,000 words, which was my goal every day. Just that process of imagining my intention was so helpful.

What is your intention? Where, when, and how much will you write? Imagine yourself actually sitting there in the place you’re going to write your memoir.

6. Who Will Be On Your Team?

No one can write a book alone. I learned this the hard way, and the result was that it took me five years to finish my memoir.

For every other book that I had written, I had other people holding me accountable. Without my team, I know that I would never have written those books. But when I tried to write my memoir, I thought, I can do this on my own. I don’t need accountability, encouragement, and support. I’ve got this.

To figure out who you need to help you finish your memoir, create three different lists of people:

  • Other writers. These are people who you can process, with who know the process of writing a book. Some will be a little bit ahead of you, so that when you get stuck, they can encourage you and say, “I’ve been there. You’re going to get through it. Keep working.”
  • Readers. Or if you don’t have readers, friends and family. These will be the people who give you feedback on your finished book before it’s published, e.g. beta readers.
  • Professional editors. But you also need professional feedback. I recommend listing two different editors here, a content editor to give feedback on the book as a whole (for example, I recommend a Write Practice Certified Coach), and a proofreader or line editor to help polish the final draft. (Having professional editing software is smart too. We like ProWritingAid. Check out our ProWritingAid review .)

Just remember: it takes a team to finish a book. Don’t try to do it on your own.

And if you don’t have relationships with other writers who can be on your team, check out The Write Practice Pro. This is the community I post my writing in to get feedback. Many of my best writing friends came directly from this community. You can learn more about The Write Practice Pro here .

7. What Other Books Will Inspire You?

“Books are made from books,” said Cormac McCarthy. Great writers learn how to write great books by reading other great books, and so should you.

I recommend finding three to five other memoirs that can inspire you during the writing process.

I recommend two criteria for the books you choose:

  • Commercially successful. If you want your book to be commercially successful, choose other books that have done well in the marketplace.
  • Similar story type. Try to find books that are the same story type that you learned in step four.

For my memoir, I had four main sources of inspiration.

Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert; The Innocents Abroad by Mark Twain; A Moveable Feast by Ernest Hemingway; and Midnight in Paris , the film by Woody Allen.

I referred back to these sources all the time. For example, when I was stuck on the climactic scene in the memoir, I watched one scene in A Midnight in Paris twenty times until I could quote the dialogue. I still didn’t come up with the solution until the next day, but understanding how other writers solved the problems I was facing helped me figure out my own solutions for my story.

8. Who Is Your Reader Avatar?

Who is your book going to be for? Or who is the one person you’ll think of when you write your book? When the writing gets hard and you want to quit, who will be most disappointed if you never finish your book?

I learned this idea from J.R.R. Tolkien, who wrote his novel The Hobbit for his three boys as a bedtime story. Every day he would work on his pages, and every night he would go home and read them to his sons. And this gave him an amazing way to get feedback. He knew whether they laughed at one part or got bored at another.

This helped him make his story better, but I also imagine it gave him a tremendous amount of motivation.

This Can Be You, Sort Of

I don’t think your reader avatar should be you. When it comes to your own writing, you are the least objective person.

There’s one caveat: you can be your own reader avatar IF you’re writing to a version of yourself at a different time. For example, I have friends who have imagined they were writing to a younger version of themselves.

Who will you write your memoir for?

9. Publishing and Marketing

How will you publish your book? Will you go the traditional route or will you self-publish? Who is your target market (check your reader avatar for help)? What will you do to promote and market your book? Do you have an author website ?

It might be strange to start planning for the publishing and marketing of your book before you ever start writing it, but what I’ve discovered is that when you think through the entire writing process, from the initial idea all the way through the publishing and marketing process, you are much more likely to finish your book.

In fact, in my 100 Day Book program, I found that people who finished this planning process were 52 percent more likely to finish their book.

Spend some time thinking about your publishing and marketing plans. Just thinking about it will help you when you start writing.

Start Building Your Audience Before You Need It

In the current publishing climate, most memoir agents and publishers want you to have some kind of relationship with an audience before they will consider your book.

Start building an audience before you need it. The first step to building an audience, and the first step to publishing in general, is building an author website. If you don’t have a website yet, you can find our full author website guide here .

(Building a website doesn’t have to be intimidating or time-consuming if you have the right guide.)

10. Outline Your Memoir

The final step of the planning process is your memoir outline . This could be the subject of a whole article itself. Here, I’ve learned so much from Story Grid, but if you don’t have time to read the book and listen to over 100 podcast episodes, here’s a quick and dirty process for you.

But First, for the Pantsers

There are two types of writers: the plotters and the pansters . Plotters like to outline. Pantsers think outlining crushes their creative freedom and hate it.

If you identify with the pantsers, that’s okay. Don’t worry too much about this step. I would still recommend writing something in this section of your memoir plan, even if you only know a few moments that will happen in the book, even recording a series of events might help as you plan.

And for you plotters, outline to your heart’s content, as long as you’ve already set your deadline!

Outlining Tips

When you’re ready to start outlining, here are a few tips:

  • Begin by writing down all the big moments in your life that line up with your premise. Your premise is the foundation of your story. Anything outside of that premise should be cut.
  • S eparate your life events into three acts. One of the most common story structures in writing is the three-act story structure. Act 1 should contain about 25 percent of your story, Act 2 about 50 percent of your story, and Act 3 about 25 percent.
  • Act 1 should begin as late into the story as possible. In Crowdsourcing Paris , like most travel memoirs, I began the story the day I arrived in Paris.
  • Use flashbacks, but carefully. Since I began Crowdsourcing Paris so late into the action, I used flashbacks to provide some details about what happened to lead up to the trip. Flashbacks can be overused, though, so only include full scenes and don’t info dump with flashbacks.
  • Start big. The first scene in your book should be a good representation of what your book is about. So if you’re writing an adventure story (see Step 4), then you should have a life or death moment as the first scene. If you’re writing a love story, you should have a moment of love or love lost.
  • End Act 1 with a decision. It is you, and specifically your decisions , that drive the action of your memoir. So what important decision did you make that will drive us into Act 2?
  • Start Act 2 with your subplot. In Step 4, I said most books are made up of three stories. Your subplot is an important part of your book, and in most great stories, your subplot begins in Act 2.
  • Act 2 begins with a period of “fun and games.” Save the Cat , one of my favorite books for writers, says that after the tension you built with the big decision in Act 1, the first few scenes in Act 2 should be fun and feel good, with things going relatively well for the protagonist.
  • Center your second act on the “all is lost” moment. Great stories are about a character who comes to the end of him or herself. The all is lost moment is my favorite to write, because it’s where the character (in this case you ) has the most opportunity to grow. What is YOUR “all is lost” moment?
  • Act 3 contains your final climactic moment. For Crowdsourcing Paris , this was the moment when I thought I was going to die. In a love story memoir, it might be when you finally work things out and commit to your partner.
  • Act 3 is also where you show the big lesson of the memoir. Emphasis on show. Back in Step 1, you identified the lesson of your memoir. Act 3 is when you finally demonstrate what you’ve learned throughout the memoir in one major event.
  • A tip for the final scene: end your memoir with the subplot. This gives a sense of completion to your story and works as a great final moment.

Use the tips above to create a rough outline of your memoir. Keep in mind, when you start writing, things might completely change. That’s okay! The point with your plan isn’t to be perfect. It’s to think through your story from beginning to end so that you’ll be prepared when you get to that point in the writing process.

Want to make this process as easy as possible? Get the memoir plan in a downloadable worksheet. Click to download your memoir plan »

That’s the end of the planning stage of this guide. Now let’s talk about how to write your first draft.

How to Write the First Draft of Your Memoir

If you’ve followed the steps above to create a memoir plan, you’ve done the important work. Writing a memoir, like writing any book, is hard. But it will actually be harder to not be successful if you’ve followed all the steps in the memoir plan.

But once you’ve created the “perfect” plan, it’s time to do the dirty work of writing a first draft.

In part two of our guide, you’ll learn how to write and finish a first draft.

1. Forget Perfection and Write Badly.

First drafts are messy. In fact, Anne Lamott calls them “shitty first drafts” because they are almost always terrible.

Even though I know that, though, any time I’m working on a new writing project, I still get it into my head that my first draft should be a masterpiece.

It usually takes me staring at a blank screen for a few hours before I admit defeat and just start writing.

If you’re reading this, don’t do that! Instead, start by writing badly.

Besides, when you’ve done the hard planning work, what you write will probably be a lot better than you think.

2. Willpower Doesn’t Work. Neither Does Inspiration. Instead, Use the “3 Minute Timer Trick.”

My biggest mistake when I began Crowdsourcing Paris was to think I had the willpower I needed as a professional writer and author of four books to finish the book on my own. Even worse, I thought I would be so inspired that the book would basically write itself.

I didn’t. It took not making much progress on my book for more than a year to realize I needed help.

The best thing you can do to help you focus on the writing process for your second draft is what we talked about in Step 4: Creating a Consequence.

But if you still need help, try my “3 Minute Timer Trick.” Here’s how it works:

  • Set a timer for three minutes. Why three minutes? Because for me, I’m so distractible I can’t focus for more than three minutes. I think anyone can focus for three minutes though, even me.
  • Write as fast as you can. Don’t think, just write!
  • When the timer ends, write down your total word count in a separate document (see image below). Then subtract from the previous word count to calculate how many words you wrote during that session.
  • Also write down any distractions during those three minutes. Did the phone ring? Did you have a tough urge to scroll through Facebook or play a game on your phone? Write it down.
  • Then, repeat the process by starting the timer again. Can you beat your word count?

This process is surprisingly helpful, especially when you don’t feel like writing. After all, you might not have it in you to write for an hour, but anyone can write for three minutes.

And the amazing thing is that once you’ve started, you might find it much easier to keep going.

Other Tools for Writers

By the way, if you’re looking for the tools I use and other pro writers I know use, check out our Best Tools for Creative Writers guide here .

3. Make Your Weekly Deadlines.

You can’t finish your book in an all-nighter. That being said, you can finish a chapter of your book in an all-nighter.

That’s why it’s so important to have the weekly deadlines we talked about in Part 1, Step 2 of this guide.

By breaking up the writing process into a series of weekly deadlines, you give yourself an achievable framework to finish your book. And with the consequences you set in Step 3 of your memoir plan, you give your deadlines the teeth they need to hold you accountable.

And as I mentioned above, Scrivener is especially helpful for keeping track of deadlines (among other things). If you haven’t yet, check out my review of Scrivener here .

4. Keep Your Team Updated.

Having a hard time? It’s normal. Talk to your team about it.

It seems like when you’re writing a book, everything in the universe conspires against you. You get into a car accident, you get sick, you get into a massive fight with your spouse or family member, you get assigned a new project at your day job.

Writing a book would be hard enough on its own, but when you have the rest of your life to deal with, it can become almost impossible.

Without your team, which we talked about in Step 6 of your book plan, it would be.

For me, I would never have been able to finish one book, let alone the twelve that I’ve now finished, without the support, encouragement, and accountability of the other writers whom I call friends, the readers who believe in me, and most of all, my wife.

Remember: No book is finished alone. When things get hard, talk about it with your team.

And if you need a team, consider joining mine. The Write Practice Pro is a supportive encouraging community of writers and editors. It’s where I get feedback on my writing, and you can get it here too. Learn more about the community here.

5. Finally, Trust the Process.

When I walk writers through the first draft writing process, inevitably, around day sixty, they start to lose faith.

  • They think their book is the all-time worst book ever written.
  • They get a new idea they want to work on instead.
  • They decide the dream to write a book and become a writer was foolish.
  • They want to quit.

A few do quit at this point.

But the ones who keep going discover that in just a few weeks they’ve figured out most of the problems in their book, they’re on their last pages, and they’re almost finished.

It happens every time, even to me.

If you take nothing else from this post, please hear this: keep going. Never quit. If you follow this process from start to finish, you’re going to make it, and it’s going to be awesome.

I’m so excited for you.

How to Finish Your Memoir

More than half of this guide is about the planning process. That’s because if you start well, you’ll finish well.

If you create the right plan, then all that’s left is doing the hard, messy work of writing.

Without the right plan, it’s SO easy to get lost along the way.

That’s why I hope you’ll download my Memoir Plan Worksheet. Getting lost in the writing process is inevitable. This plan will become your map when it happens. Click to download the Memoir Plan Worksheet.

More than anything, though, I hope you’ll never quit. It took me five years to write Crowdsourcing Paris , but during that time I matured and grew so much as a writer and a person, all because I didn’t quit.

Even if it takes you five years, the life lessons you’ll learn as you write your book will be worth it.

And if you’re interested in a real-life adventure story set in Paris, I’d be honored if you’d read Crowdsourcing Paris . I think you’ll love it.

Good luck and happy writing.

More Writing Resources:

  • How to Write a Memoir Outline: 7 Essential Steps For Your Memoir Outline
  • 7 Steps to a Powerful Memoir
  • The Memoir Project by Marion Roach Smith
  • Crowdsourcing Paris by J.H. Bunting

Are you going to commit to writing a memoir (and never quitting, no matter what)? Let me know in the comments .

Summarize your memoir idea in the form of a one-sentence premise. Make sure it contains all three elements:

  • A character
  • A situation

Take fifteen minutes to craft your premise. When you’re finished, share your memoir premise in the Pro Practice Workshop for feedback. And if you share, please be sure to give feedback to three other writers. Not a member? Join us .

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Joe Bunting

Joe Bunting is an author and the leader of The Write Practice community. He is also the author of the new book Crowdsourcing Paris , a real life adventure story set in France. It was a #1 New Release on Amazon. Follow him on Instagram (@jhbunting).

Want best-seller coaching? Book Joe here.

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How To Write a Memoir Essay That Readers Won't Forget

Declan Gessel

May 11, 2024

pen and copy on table - Memoir Essay

For those seeking guidance on how to write an essay on how to write an essay , the process can be daunting. It is a meticulous task that requires precision, clarity, and a keen understanding of the topic. The task is not easy, but with the right guidance, you can excel. In this guide, we will explore the necessary steps required to craft a brilliant memoir essay. 

Table Of Content

What is a memoir essay, 4 key elements of a memoir essay, how to choose a topic for your memoir essay, 4 memoir essay writing tips to keep your readers engaged, jotbot highlights 3 great memoir essays, write smarter memoir essay with jotbot — start writing for free today.

Memoir Essay writing on a laptop

A memoir essay is a piece of writing that combines elements of personal narrative and essay writing. The term itself is derived from the French word mémoire, meaning memory or reminiscence. A memoir essay tells a true story that happened to the author. It allows the author to explore and share memories from their past, reflecting on the significance of those experiences as they relate to them now.

Limited Scope

Unlike an autobiography , a memoir essay focuses on a specific period of the author's life, a particular event, or a significant relationship. This limited scope helps to keep the narrative more centralized, allowing the author to deeply explore the emotions and consequences of those experiences within the context of the overall theme.

Essay Structure

A memoir essay uses an essay structure to introduce a central theme, develop the story, and offer reflections or insights. This structure can help the author to organize their thoughts and present their story in a way that is engaging and easy to follow. It also allows the author to weave in other elements, such as research or commentary, that can help to enrich the narrative.

Emotional Depth

A memoir delves into the author's feelings and thoughts related to the experience. By exploring the emotional depth of their memories, the author can create a more evocative and powerful narrative that resonates with readers on a personal level. This emotional depth can draw readers in and make them feel more connected to the author's story.

Universal Connection

While personal, a memoir essay aims to connect with readers by exploring broader human themes. By sharing their experiences and insights, the author can help readers to see themselves in the story, finding common ground and shared emotions that make the narrative more meaningful and impactful. 

This universal connection is one of the key strengths of a memoir essay, allowing the author to reach a wider audience and create a more lasting impact with their writing.

Difference between Memoir and Autobiography

A memoir is closely related to the nonfiction format known as autobiography, but the two forms are not identical. Most notably, an autobiography is a first-person account of its author’s entire life. Autobiographies are usually written by famous individuals, such as politicians, celebrities, or business leaders. 

In contrast, a memoir is a nonfiction work that is based on the author’s personal memories, feelings, and experiences. Memoirs are often focused on a specific time period, theme, or relationship in the author’s life. Autobiographies are longer than memoirs and cover a broader scope of the author’s life. Although memoirs and autobiographies are different, both of these genres are entertaining and informative.

Related Reading

• Argumentative Essay • Essay Format • Expository Essay • Essay Outline • How To Write A Conclusion For An Essay • Transition Sentences • Narrative Essay • Rhetorical Analysis Essay • Persuasive Essay

person wiriting Memoir Essay

1. The Use of Vivid Description

When writing a memoir essay, it is crucial to go beyond just recounting events. The use of vivid description can transport readers into the heart of your story, making it a truly immersive experience. By incorporating sensory details, figurative language, and evocative imagery, you can bring your memories to life and create a lasting impact on your readers.

2. Bring Characters to Life with Dialogue

Dialogue is a powerful tool in memoir writing, allowing you to breathe life into your characters and drive the narrative forward. By capturing the nuances of speech, revealing hidden emotions, and using dialogue to move the plot forward, you can create dynamic and engaging interactions that resonate with your readers.

3. How to Use Reflection in Your Memoir Essay

Reflection adds depth and meaning to your memoir essay, allowing you to explore the significance of your experiences and connect them to broader themes. By analyzing the "why" behind the event, connecting it to universal themes, and using introspection to express your vulnerabilities, you can infuse your memoir with emotional resonance and personal insight.

4. Showcasing the Journey of Growth

A compelling memoir essay showcases your personal growth and transformation, illustrating how specific experiences or relationships have shaped you over time. By illustrating your growth through actions and choices, using contrasting scenes to highlight your evolution, and ending on a note of personal growth, you can create a powerful narrative arc that resonates with your readers.

notepad and a laptopn on a table - Memoir Essay

Reflecting on pivotal moments and turning points in your life is essential when choosing a topic for your memoir essay. These moments could be triumphs, losses, love, or transformations that profoundly impacted you. Consider experiences that have shaped your identity, values, or worldview and stand out vividly in your memory.

Emotional Impact

Emotional resonance is key to engaging readers in your memoir essay. Reflect on moments that made you laugh, cry, or feel deeply. These emotional moments provide a window into your soul and allow readers to connect with your story on a personal level.

Personal Growth and Lessons Learned

Exploring personal growth arcs in your life is another vital aspect to consider when choosing a memoir essay topic. Reflect on how you have evolved as a person and the lessons that life has taught you through challenges, mistakes, or unexpected twists. Sharing your insights can inspire and resonate with readers who may be going through similar experiences.

Universal Appeal

While your memoir essay is deeply personal, aiming for themes that resonate universally can make your story more relatable to a wider audience. Consider themes such as love and relationships, identity and self-discovery, resilience and overcoming adversity, journeys and travel, loss and grief, as well as career and passion pursuits. These themes can help your memoir essay connect with readers on a profound level.

Jotbot is your personal document assistant. Jotbot does AI note-taking, AI video summarizing, AI citation/source finder, it writes AI outlines for essays, and even writes entire essays with Jotbot’s AI essay writer. Join 500,000+ writers, students, teams, and researchers around the world to write more, write better, and write faster with Jotbot. Write smarter, not harder with Jotbot. Start writing for free with Jotbot today — sign in with Google and get started in seconds.

pen on a copy - Memoir Essay

1. Identifying Your Narrative Core

When you're writing a memoir essay that truly captures readers' attention, it's crucial to identify the core of your narrative. This means delving into your life experiences to uncover the moments that truly define you. Here are some brainstorming strategies you can use to uncover your narrative core:

Thematic Exploration

Take a journey through the themes of your life, such as loss, friendship, or overcoming adversity. Identify specific moments that epitomize these themes and consider how they've shaped you.

Sensory Prompts

Recall vivid experiences by engaging your senses. Think about a specific smell, taste, or childhood object that brings back powerful memories. These sensory details will help you bring your story to life.

Turning Points

Reflect on pivotal moments that have significantly changed your life or your perspective. These moments often hold the key to understanding who you are and why you've become that way.

2. The Criteria for Choosing a Captivating Topic

Your memoir essay should be about more than just any story from your life. To truly captivate readers, you need to choose a topic that meets certain criteria. Here are some things to consider when selecting your story:

Choose an experience that evokes strong emotions in you. If you feel deeply about the story you're telling, your readers are more likely to as well.

Universality

Can readers connect with the story you're telling on a broader level? Look for experiences that resonate with the human experience and the emotions we all share.

Personal Significance

The best memoir essays tell stories that have had a lasting impact on the author. Consider the experiences that have shaped you, challenged you, or changed your life in meaningful ways.

3. How To Build a Memorable Narrative Persona

A key to writing a memoir essay that readers won't forget is to create a strong narrative persona. This persona is the voice through which your story is told, and it should be unique, engaging, and authentic. Here's how you can develop your narrative persona:

Identifying Your Voice

Take some time to analyze your natural writing style. Are you humorous, reflective, or descriptive? Understanding your personal tendencies will help you craft a narrative persona that feels true to you.

Building Your Narrative Voice

Consider the literary influences that have shaped your writing style. What authors or genres resonate with you? You can draw on these influences as you develop your narrative voice.

4. Crafting a Memorable Ending

Every great memoir essay needs a memorable ending. This is the final chance to leave a lasting impression on your reader, so make it count. Here are some strategies for crafting a memorable ending to your memoir essay:

Circle Back to the Introduction

Offer a sense of closure by connecting back to the beginning of your essay. This can create a sense of symmetry and completion that leaves your reader satisfied.

Reveal a Transformation

Show how the experience you've shared has shaped you into the person you are now. This transformation is often at the heart of a memoir essay and can make for a powerful ending.

A Lingering Thought

End your essay with a question or a thought-provoking reflection that will stay with your readers long after they've finished reading. This can prompt further contemplation and leave a lasting impact.

opened pages - Memoir Essay

1. Eat, Pray, and Love by Elizabeth Gilbert 

(https://www.mwediting.com/memoir-topics-with-examples/) 

2. The Book “Wild” by Cheryl Strayed Essay 

(https://ivypanda.com/essays/the-book-wild-by-cheryl-strayed/)

3. Wild: a journey from lost to found by Strayed  

(https://archive.org/details/wildjourneyfroml0000stra)

• Words To Start A Paragraph • Essay Structure • Types Of Essays • How To Write A Narrative Essay • Synthesis Essay • Descriptive Essay • How To Start Off An Essay • How To Write An Analytical Essay • Write Me A Paragraph • How To Write A Synthesis Essay

person working on a laptop - Memoir Essay

When writing a memoir essay, it is crucial to embrace vulnerability. Readers are drawn to stories that reveal the writer's true self and expose their raw emotions. By sharing personal tales and experiences with readers, writers can form deeper connections. It can be terrifying to share personal stories, but vulnerability is what makes memoirs compelling. Readers relate to vulnerability, and it encourages them to open up about their experiences. 

Embracing vulnerability in your memoir essay allows readers to connect with your story on an intimate level. When readers recognize themselves in your narrative, they are more likely to engage with your work on a deeper level. Vulnerability taps into emotions that are universal, enabling your readers to see themselves in your story. When writers embrace vulnerability, they create an emotional bond with their readers.

Overcoming Writer’s Block

Writer's block is a common challenge faced by memoir writers. It can be frustrating when you want to write but cannot find the words. When writer's block strikes, I use Jotbot to generate an outline for my memoir essay. Jotbot helps me organize my thoughts and ideas, which enables me to write more cohesively. With Jotbot, I can focus on specific sections of my memoir essay, allowing me to overcome writer's block.

Jotbot's AI essay writer helps me with sentence structure, grammar, and punctuation. When I struggle with a sentence, I use Jotbot to revise it. Jotbot helps me to write complete sentences and improve my grammar. I love how Jotbot helps me improve my writing skills. Writing my memoir essay with Jotbot allows me to concentrate on my writing and not worry about sentence structure or grammar.

Creating a Memorable Memoir Opening

When writing a memoir essay, the opening should grab the reader’s attention. A strong opening sets the stage for the rest of the essay. I like to begin my memoir essays with an anecdote or a compelling quote to draw readers in. By starting with a vivid image or a powerful statement, I can spark readers’ curiosity and make them eager to read more.

Jotbot assists me in creating an opening for my memoir essay that hooks readers from the beginning. Jotbot helps me to generate a catchy introduction that sets the tone for the rest of the essay. With Jotbot , I can create a memorable opening that captivates readers and compels them to continue reading. Jotbot allows me to focus on crafting an engaging narrative instead of struggling to find the right words for the introduction.

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tips for writing a memoir essay

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Last updated on Apr 27, 2023

How to Outline a Memoir in 6 Steps (with Template)

About the author.

Reedsy's editorial team is a diverse group of industry experts devoted to helping authors write and publish beautiful books.

About Martin Cavannagh

Head of Content at Reedsy, Martin has spent over eight years helping writers turn their ambitions into reality. As a voice in the indie publishing space, he has written for a number of outlets and spoken at conferences, including the 2024 Writers Summit at the London Book Fair.

About Tom Bromley

Author, editor, tutor, and bestselling ghostwriter. Tom Bromley is the head of learning at Reedsy, where he has created their acclaimed course, 'How to Write a Novel.'

Memoirists are often daunted by the task of translating memories into a captivating narrative. Even with a clear understanding of your memoir's central themes and the stories you want to share, it can be challenging to weave them together seamlessly. 

In this article, we’ll share 6 steps to organize your memories into a compelling narrative, along with a free template to help you plot your personal story. 

How to outline a memoir: 

1. Order your stories chronologically

2. pick a fitting story structure, 3. hook the reader from the start, 4. lay out your goals and desires, 5. describe how you dealt with challenges, 6. end by showing how you’ve changed.

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If you’ve worked through our article on how to write a memoir, you should already have a hand-picked selection of powerful memories. The challenge now is to piece them together, with each memory serving as a crucial puzzle piece in an overarching narrative. 

A popular first step is to arrange your stories in chronological order. You could do this on a whiteboard, a notebook, or within your writing software of choice. For example,  Reedsy Studio  offers an outlining board where you can create notes for your stories, then drag and drop them around.

Screengrab of Reedsy's Book Editor Outlining features

With this bird’s-eye view, it becomes easier to spot patterns and understand what fundamentally connects your stories together, helping you find a suitable story arc  for your memoir. 

👻 Want to collaborate with a master storyteller to bring your memoir to life? Hire a ghostwriter! They'll handle everything in the background, but your name will be the one on the cover.

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Filmmaker Jean-Luc Godard once said that every story “has a beginning, a middle, and an end — not necessarily in that order.” When it comes to telling your own story, there isn’t a single way to structure them 一 you'll have to figure out what will have the greatest impact. To help you along, look at some of the most common memoir structures authors use. Three, in particular, stand out: 

Chronological. For memoirs that cover a specific time period or event of the author’s life and have a clear, chronological timeline (e.g. defeating cancer, or climbing Mount Kilimanjaro.) For example, Jon Krakauer’s Into Thin Air recounts the 1996 Mount Everest disaster by chronicling the ascent, summit, and descent of the mountain.

Before/After. For memoirs that revolve around a particular event so central to the story that it makes sense to organize the book in a Before/After format, where the narration keeps cutting before and after that event occurred (e.g. being sentenced to jail, or surviving a hurricane). In Lee Lawrence's The Louder I Will Sing , the author describes his life before and after his mother was wrongly shot by police during a raid on their home, using the contrast to describe the two strikingly different realities he experienced.

Theme-based. For memoirs that aren't linked together by a specific timeframe, but rather a common theme, with each story offering a unique perspective into the author's life, yet all coalescing around a central theme. A good example is Trevor Noah's memoir Born a Crime, which explores his experiences as a mixed-race child growing up in Apartheid South Africa. Noah shares a range of poignant and often humorous stories, from going to Church with his mum to selling CDs to his first date, which all grapple with the book’s central themes of resilience and identity.

When outlining your own memoir, play around with your story notes and see if you can arrange them in a unique way that emphasizes your central message or story arc. If you find this especially challenging, don’t despair. You can always collaborate with a book coach 一 they’ll help you make sense of your tales and neatly organize them into a powerful narrative. 

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But in the end, the old ways are often the best — and most stories are best suited to having a distinguishable beginning, middle, and end. Most often, the strongest outline is one that follows a chronological, novel-like structure. To that end, we’ve created a free downloadable template that will help you deconstruct your memoir scene by scene and synthesize an overarching narrative.

Let’s dive deeper into your memoir outline and see that your story hits all the right chords. 

It’s never a bad idea to start your memoir with a moment of high emotion. When deciding whether your book is worth reading, readers will skim through the opening passages , either in-store or with Amazon’s Look Inside feature. If the first few pages don’t grab them, they won’t buy it. To engage readers from the get-go, open with a powerful moment from the middle or even the finishof your story .  

For example, Cheryl Strayed’s memoir Wild (which we’ll reference throughout the rest of this post) doesn’t start with her mother’s death, failing marriage, or struggle with drugs. Instead, it begins on day 38 of her hike along the Pacific Crest Trail (PCT) when Strayed accidentally drops one of her hiking shoes off a cliff. It’s a moment of profound helplessness and loneliness, evoking feelings she’s been grappling with since her mother died, ones that she hopes to overcome on her journey.  

Actress Reese Whiterspoon screaming from the top of her lungs in Wild

Strayed hooks her reader right from the start . She knows they’ve picked up her book on the promise that they’ll get stories of hiking through the wilderness, and she delivers on it instantly, instead of spending the first 100 pages detailing her mundane ‘normal’ life.

This kind of opening (called in media res ) is an effective way for memoirists to engage the reader right away, and leave them wanting to know more  before providing background information and developing the story. 

Once you’ve figured out your hook, it’s time to lay the foundation for your narrative. If you’re following the classic story structure in three acts , this would be your Act One.

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Some of the story elements you may want to include in the first part of your memoir are: 

Exposition 

As the main character, you’ll have to provide some background information about yourself (as long as it’s relevant to your memoir’s main focus.) You’ll want to paint a picture of who you were before the story starts, so that readers can follow along as you evolve through it. 

In Wild , Cheryl vividly portrays the profound bond she shared with her mother, and how her death set her on a destructive path of substance abuse and infidelity.

Character Cheryl Strayed and her mother on the horse in the movie Wild

If your memoir is about joining the Navy Seals, this is the part where you share your ordinary life before military training. If it’s about grieving for your late husband, your exposition and background details might detail how you fell in love with each other, and what made your relationship special. 

An Inciting Incident 

In most cases, you’ll be able to identify a defining moment that set your story in motion, and propelled you on a transformational journey. It’s the moment you fully decide to get out of your comfort zone to achieve your goals and desires. 

Cheryl's turning point in Wild comes after she hits rock bottom in the wake of an unwanted pregnancy. Browsing through a store, she impulsively purchases a guidebook for the PCT, thinking that the trail may help her “walk herself back to the woman she once was.”  

The inciting moment when Cheryl Strayed finds the Pacific Coast Trail guidebook

Of course, not all true life stories start with an earth-shaking epiphany or a serendipitous meeting. Maybe your decision to run an Ironman in your 40s was something that was brewing over a number of years, but try to think of a moment of high emotion that contributed to that choice. Was it the day you were fired from your job, or the time when a kid on the street called you 'old'? This moment could very well be your inciting incident. 

Introduction of Main Theme

As your story develops, make sure that your personal objectives are tied to a larger, universal theme that can resonate with your readers. In Cheryl's story, her primary goal is to hike the PCT, but on a deeper level, her quest touches on the themes of redemption and self-discovery. As she writes in the first pages of the book:

“It was a world [the trail] I’d never been to and yet had known was there all along, one I’d staggered to in sorrow and confusion and fear and hope. A world I thought would both make me into the woman I knew I could become and turn me into the girl I’d once been.”

Think about what your memoir's theme really is (e.g. parenting, mental health, social inequality) and spotlight it from the very beginning.

Now that your story is truly in motion, with backstory, an inciting incident, and thematic heft, it’s time to get into the nitty-gritty. 

The second act of your memoir is often the trickiest. This is the section where you will usually deliver on the ‘ promise of the premise ’: if your book is about becoming an astronaut, this is the part where you’ll undergo training and plan for your mission. If you’re writing a memoir about hiking the wilderness, you better be in the woods by the start of the second act.

The tough part comes with making sure that you’re building momentum, increasing the stakes, and not just telling anecdotes that don’t contribute to the bigger picture. For this reason, a memoir’s second act usually sees your hero (you!) responding to bigger and bigger obstacles. 

Here are a few key plot points to consider to keep your narration strong: 

Rising Action

During this part of the story, you usually face external and internal challenges in order to achieve your goal. The key to maintaining credibility is to share both your failures and successes, moments of both fear and courage. 

On her first sleepless night camping on the trail, Cheryl is terrified of animal sounds. But as she grows more confident each day, she starts to join in with their howls. Despite her undersized boots, her heavy backpack, and her lack of camping experience, she manages to walk 100 miles through the Mojave Desert and reach the first campground. She also learns to trust strangers and ask for help, especially when it comes to letting go of some of her unnecessary baggage.

Cheryl camping in the woods in the movie Wild

The rising action in your story may be less adventurous than in a travel memoir. If your topic is recovering from addiction, for example, it may include getting into arguments at Alcoholics Anonymous, before developing an uneasy friendship with your sponsor and growing more confident in your ability to get better. 

This is a turning point in your story, like a crisis, triumph, or simply a realization, that pivots your journey in a new direction. Usually, it’s a moment that carries significant emotional weight and sets the stage for the climax to come. 

Despite her growing confidence, Cheryl is forced to reckon with her emotions. This is when she loses her boots and feels helpless, used as the story hook. This time though, we get to see how she reacts: she reinforces her sandals with duct tape and keeps marching forward, with ever more strength and determination.   

Dig around your memories and try to identify that path-altering, highly emotional moment 一 it may be your midpoint. In a memoir chronicling the journey of building a successful startup, the midpoint may be a promising call from angel investors, willing to pour some money into your idea. It’s the moment when things turn around. 

It’s time to outline the final act of your memoir to end on a strong note and with a powerful message.

The Third Act is where the main conflict of your story is finally resolved, so the stakes and tension should be at their highest. Some of the key plot points to outline in this last section are: 

This is where you introduce your greatest challenge for the final act of your manuscript. It often involves a series of events that further escalate the conflict and heighten the anticipation for the ultimate resolution. 

In Wild , Cheryl deals with debilitating thirst, dodgy hunters, and a heavy storm, but more importantly, she revisits some of her most painful memories, from the abuses of her alcoholic father, to the heart-wrenching task of putting down her mother's cherished horse after her passing.

Cheryl crying and reckoning with her emotions in Wild

In your memoir, this is the moment before the end of your story that threatens to dash your dreams once and for all. It may be the moment when a global pandemic hits, countries close borders, and flights to Vanuatu are suspended, threatening your quest to visit every single country in a year.  

This is the point where the central conflict or challenge of your memoir comes to a head. It’s the culmination of everything you've built up to, and it should feel like a defining moment in your life. For Cheryl, it’s finally reaching the Bridge of the Gods and completing the PCT after a three-month-long hike. In your story, it may be the moment you complete an Ironman, sell your successful startup, or finally land in Port Vila, the capital of Vanuatu.  

Resolution/Thematic Wrap-Up

The resolution is an opportunity for you to show the results of your journey and how you’ve changed as a result of it. Here you can again address the central theme of the book, sharing the lessons you’ve learned and how your perspective has changed over time. 

For Cheryl, it’s all about redeeming her turbulent past 一 from cheating to heroine 一 owning up to it, and rediscovering that inner strength and beauty she had lost touch with. In your memoir, this is the time to reflect on what you learned from overcoming addiction or running a race, and muse on how you have been able to move forward since.

Close up of Cheryl at the end of the movie Wild

Aaand scene! It's important to keep in mind that every memoir is unique and may require a distinctive structure, but we hope that our suggestions and template will provide you with a solid foundation to write with more clarity and get that memoir published.

Also, remember that writing a book is a marathon. After outlining, writing, and publishing your memoir, you'll have to publish it! Proceed onto our post teaching you how to publish a memoir and rest assured that you have a solid roadmap in front of you.

Evelyn Sinclair says:

04/03/2018 – 21:17

I've read a lot of the Reedsy information about memoirs, finding it all very helpful and I'm around 20,000 words in. Recently I'm struggling over how to bring it to an interesting end, and whether I can reach the length of a novel.

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Blogs / Non-fiction / How to Write a Memoir: 10 Tips for Sharing Your Story

Perfect Your Storytelling

How to write a memoir: 10 tips for sharing your story.

What happens when a writer wants to tell a true story about themselves? They become the protagonist and fill the chapters with scenes from their own lives. They share their personal character arc and the life lessons it imparts. That is a memoir.

What is a Personal Memoir?

The term memoir comes from the French word “mémoire,” which means memory or remembrance, reflecting the personal and reflective nature of the genre. 

Memoirs can cover a wide range of topics, from childhood memories to professional accomplishments, and they often include emotional and introspective insights from significant moments, relationships, and events.

Memoir vs. Autobiography

A memoir focuses on a small slice, an event or series of related events, sometimes bound by theme, that have occurred in the writer’s life. They deliver a message. 

An autobiography is the whole pie. It’s a linear, usually chronological accounting of a person’s entire life, typically written by someone with fame or prominence. For example, someone who has a high profile within their realm or beyond like a movie star, a politician, an athlete, or even a criminal.

While we all like to think we’ve led interesting lives, it’s unlikely that interest would prevail beyond our circle of family and friends. But everyday people have tales that can and should be told.

What to Include in a Memoir

When deciding what to write about, consider the 5 W’s: Who/What/Why/Where/When. 

Who Am I Writing About? 

The obvious answer is you. Who makes up your cast of characters?  Friends, enemies, lovers, relatives, co-workers, your favorite teacher from sixth grade, the cop who arrested you, or the doctor who treated your cancer? 

What Statement Am I Making?

Being able to reduce your book’s point to a statement, belief, or argument gives you focus and helps you evaluate it for its potential resonance. If you’re looking for revenge by sharing someone’s dirty laundry, it’s best to rethink your strategy. 

A story about bringing someone else down rarely wins over the hearts of your readers. But if you want to illuminate the biggest life lesson you gleaned from your experiences to help others, by all means, write about it.

Why Am I Writing?

From an external standpoint, your “why” may involve recognition, validation, and income. These are all valid reasons. 

The internal “why” may be harder to pinpoint. It could range from wanting to share what you’ve learned, to spare people from suffering like you did, to telling a story that touches people and helps them understand their own lives better. 

Providing knowledge, comfort, encouragement, and inspiration to others appeals to our human need of finding meaning in the things that happen to us.

External Reasons:

  • Gain notoriety
  • Document family history
  • Capture memories
  • Establish my writing presence

Internal Reasons:

  • Tell a personal story
  • Discover the meaning of life
  • Share knowledge
  • Provide inspiration
  • Validate myself as a writer
  • Get healing through telling my story

Where Did My Story Take Place?

Even if you grew up in Chicago, you can’t take for granted that everyone knows what it’s like to experience life in the Windy City. 

A small town in Texas or a quaint village in the English countryside also require enough description for your reader to feel like they’re experiencing it with you, the beauty, the horror, and the quirks.

When Did This Happen?

Anchoring your story in a time frame is important for your reader. Whether you’re a child of the 70s or Generation Z, when your story takes place is important and you need to place your readers in that time. Were you a child, a college student, or about to retire? 

Writing a memoir does not involve inventing a world or characters out of thin air. It should be based on truth. However, truth is the eye of the beholder. 

Picture a crime scene. Police interview the witnesses. Each gives a different account. Why? They might be standing in different locations so what they could see varied from the others. Their perspectives may differ because one witness thinks the victim resembles the neighborhood bully from their childhood. Another thinks every stranger is a criminal. Their life experiences shape the way they view everyday occurrences. 

As we recall the events of our life, many things can color our memories like trauma, illness, prejudices, and even the simple passage of time. What did our memory choose to keep and why? This doesn’t mean we are being untruthful, rather, it is simply our version of the truth that we’re telling. Don’t feel constrained by your perspective. Embrace it.

How to Start a Memoir

Write what comes to mind. You can decide later what you’ll keep and what you’ll cut. Try to keep it related to the specific event, situation, or experience. Many memoir writing coaches suggest simply tapping into memories and writing them down. 

Some people like to write a long, detailed account of events while others jot down a few lines. Some like to produce snippets in chronological order while others write whatever comes to mind. What’s most important is to have enough content to choose from when forming your story. This doesn’t mean writing your life story. (Save that for when you’re making the talk show circuit celebrating your worldwide success.) 

Once you’re ready to write your first draft, begin by writing a simple summation of your story, just like you would for a novel. Develop a one-sentence premise of your memoir. Remember, make it about one specific situation and what you learned from it. 

If you’re having trouble, imagine writing a skeleton blurb for a novel. Who is the protagonist? You! What shook your world up? How did you respond? In what ways did your life change after going through this situation? 

Different Types of Memoirs

Now that you’ve gotten started, decide what kind of story you’re telling. Here are the more common types of memoirs:

  • Traditional Memoirs: These are retrospective, recounting significant life events and providing a comprehensive exploration of the author’s experiences and emotions.
  • Childhood Memoirs: These transport readers back to the author’s formative years, capturing innocence, challenges, and the profound impact of early experiences, tapping into the universal human longing to understand one’s roots.
  • Coming-of-Age Memoirs: These navigate the tumultuous waters of adolescence, exploring themes of self-discovery, forming one’s identity, and the trials of growing up.
  • Transformative Journey Memoirs: These delve into pivotal moments or journeys that changed the author’s life, resulting in personal transformation through travel, self-discovery, or overcoming adversity.
  • Historical Memoirs: These intertwine personal experiences with historical events. Using a backdrop of wars, revolutions, cultural shifts, or other significant periods, authors share their perspectives using a unique lens through which readers can understand historical events.
  • Confessional Memoirs: These are deeply personal and often raw stories revealing intimate details, vulnerabilities, and struggles, inviting readers into their emotional landscapes.
  • Educational Memoirs: These combine personal stories with lessons learned. Authors share wisdom and insights gained from their experiences, aiming to offer inspiration or guidance to others.
  • Retrospective Memoirs: These look back on a specific time or event in the author’s life, offering reflections, insights, and a sense of newfound understanding and closure.
  • Thematic Memoirs: These memoirs weave together different stories and events from the author’s life to illustrate a central theme, such as love, loss, or betrayal. 
  • Chronological Memoirs: These tell the story from start to finish, providing a linear narrative of the author’s journey for that portion of their life.

Within each of these types of memoirs, there is an external story and an internal story. The external story focuses on the events themselves, such as surviving war, abuse, or tragedy. The internal story reflects the growth of the character in response to those events.

What to Write a Memoir About

Consider these things when writing your memoir:

  • Who is your book for: Having a target audience will help you focus on the message you want to share.
  • Write with honesty and authenticity : Being vulnerable can make your story more relatable and compelling. Only you know what it was like to take your journey. Tell it with the emotion of the triumphs and challenges you experienced.
  • Show, Don’t Tell : Though it might tempt you to merely lay out the events in a journalistic way, strive to show what happened with dialogue, vivid descriptions, and sensory details. Bring to life the people, places, and events as you experienced them.
  • Character Development : Even if you are the only character in your story, you need to show who you are to your readers. Develop yourself and others in your memoir with depth, showing motivations, strengths, weaknesses, and growth.
  • Prose : Pay attention to the craft of writing. Most memoirs are written from a first-person point of view in order to establish a connection with readers. It is possible to write from a third-person point of view, but it may create a more objective or detached perspective. It may be suitable if your story involves more than just you as the protagonist, such as siblings whose experiences are intertwined. You’ll also decide which tense to use. Be consistent. Watch your pacing and narrative flow.

What Is Good Memoir Structure?

While a memoir involves writing about personal events and recollections, the story still requires the same solid story structure as a novel. 

It’s true that in a novel there can be three points of view—the author, the perspective from which the story is told, and the main character or protagonist who lives the story. 

In memoirs, these three are one and the same. This presents a critical lesson: a memoirist must determine what they know and how they should reveal it to the reader.

Another important point to consider is that of truth. Remember that one person’s account may vary from another and yet remain truthful due to varying perceptions. You may not remember the exact words exchanged in a conversation, but the gist of the message should remain.

Memoir Writing Tips

Before getting to the structure, consider these tips:

  • Narrow your focus: Remember, you’re not writing an autobiography. You’re focusing on one moment or series of moments around a theme.
  • Write about more than the story: Yes, the focus is on an event or related events, but consider the other players—the characters, the time, and the setting. Share interesting facts about them in your writing to bring vivid details to life.
  • Use fictional elements: While your memoir is a true story, you can and may need to embellish it, depending on how vivid your memory is. When focusing on other characters, locations, and dialogue, create intriguing details about them to evoke emotions in your readers. This will not compromise the integrity of your story; it will keep your reader mesmerized.
  • Be careful with pacing: Determine the rhythm of your story. Some events may need more detailed exploration, while others can be summarized to maintain the flow.
  • Have a narrative arc: Your memoir should have a clear beginning, middle, and end.

Memoir Structure

It makes sense to approach your memoir’s structure like that of a novel. It needs the following components:

  • Opening Image: Start with a compelling hook or scene that establishes the setting, time, and key characters.
  • Setup/Exposition: These scenes show what your ordinary world is like, setting the tone before changes come. It helps to establish what’s at stake for you.
  • Inciting Incident: Introduce the main conflict that sets your story into motion. What happens that shakes up your world and causes you to react?
  • Plot Point 1: At this stage, you know what your goal is, but you’re not thrilled about chasing it. Since you’re in reactionary mode, your actions may not be related to achieving the goal.
  • Middle: The middle marks the point where you become proactive to the goal. This means you’ve learned the rules, and you can now make plans to go after the goal. No longer just accepting your fate, you’re finding the strength to deal with the obstacles in your path. How do you grapple with the challenges, make decisions, and demonstrate personal growth?
  • Plot Point 2: It is the low point in your story where it seems all is lost. Have your efforts to reach your goal resulted in failure or brought more hardship? Were you lacking knowledge or had incorrect information that led you to make unwise choices?
  • Climax: This is where you achieve (or fail to achieve) your story’s goal. The tension, conflict, and emotional upheaval reach their peak in this scene and offer your reader the payoff to the story’s promise. This is your moment of triumph, crisis, self-realization, or transformation.
  • Resolution: Wrap up by reflecting on lessons learned, personal growth achieved, and the impact of the events on your life. You may offer insights or wisdom gained from your experiences.

Memoir Examples

Here are some highly regarded books which offer guidance on writing memoirs:

The Art of Memoir by Mary Karr

Mary Karr, a celebrated memoirist, shares her wisdom and experience in this book, offering theoretical insights and practical advice on crafting compelling memoirs while reflecting on her writing journey.

Writing the Memoir: From Truth to Art by Judith Barrington

This book provides a comprehensive guide to writing memoirs, covering topics such as memory, structure, voice, and revision.

Fearless Confessions: A Writer’s Guide to Memoir by Sue William Silverman

Sue William Silverman draws upon her own personal and professional experience to provide a practical guide for transforming life into words that matter. 

The Memoir Project: A Thoroughly Non-Standardized Text for Writing & Life by Marion Roach Smith

This concise and engaging book emphasizes the importance of storytelling and personal voice in memoir writing.

Your Life As Story by Tristine Rainer

Tristine Rainer fills her book with examples from renowned writers and demonstrates techniques for crafting character portraits, remembering forgotten memories, unifying a story with thematic conflict, and employing fictional devices such as dialogue and humor.

Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life by Anne Lamott

A classic offering advice on writing and life, encouraging writers to take it one step at a time and to find humor in the process. It’s a valuable resource for writers of all genres.

Naked, Drunk, and Writing: Shed Your Inhibitions and Craft a Compelling Memoir or Personal Essay by Adair Lara

Lara guides writers through the process of writing their stories with authenticity and courage, helping them to craft a narrative that resonates with readers.

Great Memoirs to Read

If you want to be inspired, here are some critically acclaimed memoirs to read:

The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls

Walls’ memoir chronicles her unconventional upbringing by deeply dysfunctional parents, exploring themes of resilience, family, and forgiveness.

Educated by Tara Westover

This memoir tells the story of Westover’s self-transformation from growing up in a strict, isolated household in rural Idaho to eventually pursuing higher education at Cambridge and Harvard.

The Liar’s Club by Mary Karr

Karr’s memoir offers a candid and often humorous account of her turbulent childhood in East Texas, marked by her dysfunctional family and her own struggles with addiction.

Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner

This memoir is a touching tale of growing up Korean-American, dealing with family bonds, cultural identity, and grief.

H is for Hawk by Helen MacDonald

Part memoir, part nature writing, MacDonald’s book explores her experience of grief and healing following her father’s death, intertwined with her journey of training a goshawk.

A Long Way Gone: Memoirs of a Boy Soldier 

A testament to the resilience of the human spirit, Beah’s story of his transformation from an innocent child to a child soldier during Sierra Leone’s civil war recounts his harrowing experiences.

Drinking: A Love Story by Caroline Knapp

A powerful narrative of Knapp’s love affair with alcohol, her struggle with addiction, and her courageous path to recovery.

Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

Gilbert explores themes of spirituality, love, and the quest for inner peace on a year-long journey of self-discovery following a divorce.

Conclusion on Writing a Memoir

Writers are passionate about telling the stories they’ve created in their minds. Memoir writers have lived their stories and want to share their messages of hope and inspiration or perhaps experience a catharsis of their own. In any case, memoir is a valuable genre worth considering for any writer.

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Memoir coach and author Marion Roach

Welcome to The Memoir Project, the portal to your writing life.

The Twenty Top Tips for Writing Memoir

YOU NEED TO START WRITING MEMOIR and you need to do it today. Let me help you. Here are my 20 top tips for writing memoir. They will take you through a definition of memoir, knowing the difference between memoir and autobiography, how to get started writing memoir, how to write someone else’s story, how to structure a memoir and much more.

And then, because I know you will want more, I have added at the end of this page the 20 top tips from well-published authors, and included excerpts from their recent books. I reached out to these authors and asked them to write these posts just for you. Enjoy.

The Memoir Project’s 20 Top Tips

1. What is Memoir?  Memoir is a three-legged stool, designed specifically to hold up your story. In other words, it has requirements – four, to be precise: your story and three others – and learning them will allow you to write this wondrous form.

2. How to Define Memoir?  One great way to define memoir is to think of the crime procedural. Let me explain.

3. What is the Difference Between Memoir and Autobiography?  Knowing the difference between memoir and autobiography is essential to writing successfully in either genre, and yet it is probably the single most misunderstood aspect of both.

4. What are the Basic Components of a Memoir?  How to write a powerful memoir in three simple steps.

5. What to Read to Learn to Write Memoir. These are the best books on writing I’ve ever read.

6. All Memoir Must Include Transcendence. What goes into a memoir? Many wonderful things, though one of them is transcendence. Something has to shift. To change. To grow.

7. How to Start Writing Every Day.  The greatest challenge to your writing is that you need a writing practice. You are not writing every day. Let’s change that.

8. How To Plan Out A Book.  Here are the five simple steps to planning your memoir.

9. How to Write Someone Else’s Story . Writing someone else’s memoir, or writing someone else into your own, is a huge responsibility. Learn to do it well.

10. How To Structure a Memoir. Memoir structure is based on your argument, which is based on something you know after something you’ve experienced. Let me explain.

11. The Very Best Writing Punch List . What is your writing punch list? Haven’t got one? Try mine.

12. My Single Greatest Piece of Writing Advice is This: Write With Intent . Give up all of those time-wasting writing prompts and useless writing exercises and learn to write with intent. Your writing career will flourish.

13. How To Write Memoir About Family Abuse . Writing memoir in the #MeToo movement has taught us many things. Let’s review them.

14. How To Write Good Characterization in Memoir.  How to describe people in memoir? What are the tricks to getting character right on the page?

15. How to Beat Writer’s Block With Structure . Book structure is the key to never getting stuck in your memoir writing.

16. Who is the Narrator of Your Memoir?  Knowing who narrates a memoir is a huge decision. Let me help you make it.

17. How to Write About Your Relatives in Memoir . How to write about family? Here are some top tips for your memoir writing.

18. How to Write About Your Kids . Writing memoir about kids is tricky. How much do you tell? I am a former parenting columnist for The New York Daily News . Let me guide you through this territory.

19. How to Write Less and Say More . To write good memoir, write sparingly. Here is some guidance.

20. When is a Memoir Finished?  A memoir is finished when you have proved your argument.

And here is your bonus tip:

How to Write an Op-ed . Just what is an op-ed and how do you write one? Are op-eds memoir and if so, just how much memoir goes into an op-ed or online opinion piece? I bet you did not know how much we all want to read your take on today’s issues. Learn now to do so here.

20 Tips from Other Well-Published Authors

As I wrote above, I asked the very best memoir writers in the world for their twenty top tips for writing memoir, and they’ve written them — for you, and included excerpts from their most recent books as examples of how to write memoir. I’ve put them in the order you’ll need them to write memoir of any length. Use them as an at-home course. Share them with friends. Come back to them again and again.

Don’t have time to read them all, and want a quick course in writing memoir? Then, in this order, read 1, 2, 5, 9 & 20 and write on. But write. The world is waiting to read your work.

1. A definition of memoir 2. How to begin a memoir 3. Finding the message in your memoir 4. How to write about an exceptional life experience 5. How to write a first draft 6. How to write about your family 7. How to recall details from your life 8. How to access the details of your life 9. How to write great characterization of yourself and others 10 When to fictionalize a memoir 11. How to tell the truth when writing memoir 12. More on telling the truth when writing memoir 13. How to quiet the voices in your head and write a memoir you’d like to read 14. The truth and consequence of writing memoir 15. How to take a personal topic and make it public 16. What to leave in your memoir 17. Writing from a question you want answered 18. What to share when writing memoir 19. Know your audience when writing memoir 20. How to execute the perfect rewrite

Need more help? Come see me in one of my online classes. The entry-level class,  Memoirama , is a one-night, 90-minute class that is taught twice a month, every month but July and August. Follow that with  Memoirama 2 , and get yourself all set to enroll in the next session  The Master Class . Can’t wait to hear about your work in one – or all – of these online memoir classes.

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April 7, 2019 By Anne R. Allen 16 Comments

How to Write a Memoir: 14 Tips for Writing Memoir That Sells

How to Write a Memoir: 14 Tips for Writing Memoir That Sells

by Anne R. Allen

In a much-shared article titled “ Why Your Memoir Won’t Sell, ” former Writer’s Digest editor Jane Friedman listed the things that will trigger an agent or publisher to reject a memoir by a non-celebrity.

A lot of people working on memoirs have been pretty discouraged by it.

But you don’t have to be. Jane was simply saying that you need to learn what makes a compelling memoir and what doesn’t.

It is true that memoirs are problematic. They’re devilishly difficult for a new writer to do well, but they’re what newbies usually write.

The urge to put our own life story on paper is the most common reason people start writing. Adult education programs and senior centers everywhere offer courses in “writing your own life.” And there’s the old adage that says everybody has a book in them—their own life story.

That means there are a whole lot of memoirs out there, and most of them are written by newbies. Agents and editors cringe when a memoirist approaches them, because they’ve seen so many amateurish ones.

But here’s the thing: there’s a BIG market for entertaining, well-written memoir.

In this age of massively popular true crime shows and “reality” TV, there’s a huge audience for shared real-life experience. Readers are hungry for true stories: look how angrily they reacted to writers like James Frey, Margaret B. Jones, Clifford Irving, etc. who passed off fiction as memoir.

Compelling memoirs like  Eat, Pray, Love, The Color of Water, The Glass Castle, and of course the entire oeuvre of David Sedaris (a hero of mine) top the bestseller lists.

So keep working on that masterpiece-in-progress.  Hone your craft.  Learn patience. Write short creative nonfiction essays and get a bunch of published work out there.  And keep writing. The results will be worth it.

It will help if you follow some basic dos and don’ts.

1) DO Read Other Memoirs

Before you put pen to paper, it’s a good idea to read the currently popular memoirs. You want to know what readers are buying.

You can also see what works and what doesn’t. Where are you flipping pages and reading “just one more chapter”? Work on getting that kind of tension into your story. On the other hand if you find the story getting bogged down somewhere, you know where not to go. Does something sound self-serving? Leave it out of your own work.

All authors need to know their genre and audience to write something that sells. Memoir is no exception.

2)  DON’T Write an Autobiography

I know this sounds like I’m just playing with words. But technically, an autobiography is a list of events: “I was born in (year) in (place) and I did (this) and (that.)

But a memoir is a story of one aspect of your life that has a beginning, a climax and a resolution.

The truth about autobiographies is that unless you’re already a rock star, nobody cares.

Except your family. And they do matter. So don’t let anybody discourage you from self-publishing a chronicle of your life as a gift to your family and descendants. Just be aware that an autobiographical list of events is not the same thing as a publishable, compelling memoir.

3) DO Tell a Page-Turning Story

A book-length memoir is read and marketed as a novel. It needs a novel’s narrative drive. That means tension and conflict—and ONE main story arc to drive the action.

So generally you don’t want to write a series of loosely related vignettes and stories. A memoir has to be one story.

Most memoirs fail from lack of focus.

Choose a basic storyline, like: “Orphan kids save the family farm during the Depression,” or “A cross-dressing teen survives high school in the 1960s.”

But note: vignettes and nostalgia pieces do have a market—in magazines, journals and blogs. (See # 13)

4) DON’T Confuse Memoir with Psychotherapy

Writing about a traumatic personal event can be amazingly cathartic for the writer, but there’s a reason shrinks charge big bucks to listen to people’s problems. Readers want a rip-roaring story, not unrelenting misery.

Writing does makes great therapy, though. Go ahead and write it all down in a journal. Then you can save that raw material to mine later for fiction, poetry, personal essays, and maybe even a well-crafted memoir.

5) DO Focus on Significant and Unique Personal Experience, Especially When Tied to Well-Known Person or Event

If you gave birth in the mud at Woodstock, dated Kurt Cobain, or were a first responder on 9/11, make that the focus of your book. That’s not “selling out” or falling for “celebrity culture.” It’s common sense. People want to read about stuff they’ve heard of more than they want to read about your dear Aunt Edna, lovely as she was.

Iconic events are shared experiences. Your readers have their own emotions tied to that event, so they’re eager to know how it felt to be close to it.

6) DON’T Include Every Detail

Including every little incident and every character because “it’s what really happened” doesn’t make good storytelling.

Just because something is true doesn’t mean it’s interesting.

Your happy memories of that idyllic Sunday school picnic in vanished small-town America will leave your reader comatose unless the church caught fire, you lost your virginity, and/or somebody stole the parson’s pants.

7)  DO Remember that a Memoir, like a Novel, is Read for Entertainment.

A memoir may be nonfiction, but it requires a creative writer’s skill set. Always keep your reader in mind. Never fabricate, but only tell what’s unique, exciting and relevant to your premise.

I had a friend who lived a fabulously exciting life, rubbing shoulders with some of the biggest stars in Hollywood. But in his memoir, he kept insisting on giving equal time to his very ordinary relatives and schoolmates.

It’s all very well to be “fair” to all the people and events in your life, but that’s not what’s important when you’re writing for publication.

The only person you must treat with fairness is your reader.

If your reader isn’t going to be thrilled reading two chapters about your Uncle Wilbur’s gout, then don’t put them in the book.

8) DON’T Neglect Social Media

There are online groups for everything these days. When I was working on my novel that features the ghost of Richard III, So Much for Buckingham , I discovered more than 50 Facebook groups for people who think Richard III has been falsely maligned.

For any kind of disease or trauma, there is probably an online support group…or twelve. Look for them and make contact. (But don’t stick around if things seem “off.” Groups can often be taken over by one or more bullies. You won’t find help—or readers—there. Move on.)

One of the most important things you’ll need to do before you publish is connect with online communities who are interested in your niche. Visiting and commenting on the blogs, vlogs and podcasts of other people interested in your field can really help you tap into a community of possible readers.

9) DO look at Small and Regional Publishers.

A national publisher may not be interested in stories of the vanished ranch life of old California, or growing up in a lighthouse on the coast of Maine, but a local publisher who has outlets at tourist sites and historical landmarks may be actively looking for them. Another plus: you don’t need an agent to approach most regional publishers.

Not a lot of agents are interested in memoir, but many small publishers are. Here are seven publishers who don’t require agents and are looking for memoir.

10) DON’T Expect a Big Audience for Medical Journaling

If you or a loved one has a serious disease, chronicling your experiences can be invaluable to those suffering similar trials.

To the general public—not so much.

You may find it’s best to reach out to people who share your medical experience through online forums and blogs as well as print journals. Remember that publishing is a business, and no matter how sad your story, if it’s not an enjoyable read, it won’t find an audience.

But you may find exactly the audience you’re looking for with a blog, so read on…

11) DO Consider Writing Your Experiences as Blog.

I urge all nonfiction authors, especially memoirists, to start a blog as soon as possible.

As I said, a memoir needs to be written like a novel. But real life doesn’t have a story arc, compelling dialogue, and good pacing. That means you have to superimpose those things on a story that already exists, instead of creating your story around a structure the way you do with a novel.

But those things aren’t a problem on a blog. Most of what people read online is nonfiction, and readers love stories with heart.

Blogs are made for short personal essays. With illustrations. That means blogging might be the most effective way to write your memoir. Later, you can make the blogposts into a book of collected essays with a ready-made audience.

Even if you’ve finished your memoir, or are in the final stages of polishing, you can use segments of your book in blogposts and add lots of photos (expensive to put into books, but magnets for blog readers.)

12) DON’T Jump into the Self-Publishing Process before your Book—and YOU are Ready.

First hone your skills as a creative writer. Unless you’re only writing for your grandchildren and heirs (nothing wrong with that—but be clear in your intentions) you need to become an accomplished writer before you can expect non-family members to read you work. Even the most skilled editor can’t turn a series of reminiscences into a cohesive narrative.

NOTE:  There are ghostwriters who specialize in memoirs, so if you want to get your story into book form and aren’t interested in becoming a professional writer, you can hire one. Many editing services offer ghostwriting—a more expensive process than editing—but worth the cost if you don’t enjoy the writing process. I’d recommend using a memoir specialist like  YourMemoir.co.uk where Marnie Summerfield Smith provides an excellent service I can highly recommend.

13)  DO Think Outside the Book

Beginning writers often make the mistake of jumping into a book-length opus. But it’s smarter and easier to start with short pieces of creative nonfiction—what one writer friend calls “memoiric essays.”

Keep in mind that even though book-length memoir is a hard sell, there is a big market for creative nonfiction essays.

You can market short personal essays to magazines, anthologies, journals, websites, blogs and contests. You’ll be building platform and can even make some money.

Nostalgia and senior-oriented magazines and blogs are great venues for tales of life in the old days. Niche journals and websites focusing on hobbies, pets, disabilities, veterans, etc. are always looking for submissions.

These will also give you some great publishing credits, and you won’t have to slog for years before reaching an audience.

If you’ve been working on that memoir a while, you probably have a whole lot of material already written. With a few tweaks, your excerpts can become publishable personal essays.

And the good news is, those short pieces can pay very well. Look at the fantastic success of anthologies like the Chicken Soup series. And if you get into an anthology along with some well-known authors, you’ll establish a readership that would take years to garner with a solo book release. Check out our post on anthologies .

14) DON’T Get Discouraged.

If you’re working on a memoir, polish your creative writing skills, work at building a platform, and keep your reader in mind. That way you’ll avoid the cringe-making amateurishness that agents, editors and readers fear.

And you don’t need an agent. Plenty of writers have had success with self-published memoirs.

Eldonna Edwards wrote and self-published a memoir of her experiences as a kidney donor in Lost in Transplantation . She did some great marketing and it sold well. That led to a major book contract with Kensington Publishing. Eldonna’s second novel with Kensington, Clover Blue launches in May in hardcover.

For more about the strain and rewards of writing a memoir, see Michael Harris’s post The Story that Took 50 Years to Write.

by Anne R. Allen (@annerallen) April 7, 2019

What about you, scriveners? Are you working on a memoir? Do you write creative nonfiction essays? Have you ever thought about blogging your memoir? What’s your favorite memoir?

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OPPORTUNITY ALERTS

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Don’t let those published short stories stop working! Here are 25 Literary Magazines that will take reprints.

7 PUBLISHERS FOR MEMOIRS! You don’t need an agent. From the good folks at Authors Publish

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About Anne R. Allen

Anne writes funny mysteries and how-to-books for writers. She also writes poetry and short stories on occasion. Oh, yes, and she blogs. She's a contributor to Writer's Digest and the Novel and Short Story Writer's Market.

Her bestselling Camilla Randall Mystery RomCom Series features perennially down-on-her-luck former socialite Camilla Randall—who is a magnet for murder, mayhem and Mr. Wrong, but always solves the mystery in her quirky, but oh-so-polite way.

Anne lives on the Central Coast of California, near San Luis Obispo, the town Oprah called "The Happiest City in America."

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April 7, 2019 at 10:33 am

Anne—Lots of solid advice here. Will also refer to Michael’s post for us about writing his NYT bestselling military memoir THE ATOMIC TIMES. He talks about how to deal with intense emotional experiences, how to use humor, and the importance of deciding just how much you want to reveal. http://annerallen.com/2012/09/an-awesome-awardplus-story-that-took-50/

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April 7, 2019 at 10:38 am

Ruth–Thanks for the reminder! I’ve added a link to Michael’s interview in Tip #14!

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April 7, 2019 at 10:45 am

No surprise — more good advice. It brings to mind our old critique partner, Dr. Marty Rochlin & his brilliant memoir. Thanks for sparking the memory.

April 7, 2019 at 11:27 am

CS–Marty Rochlin’s memoir was entertaining and well written, but still he had trouble selling it, I think that was because it wasn’t shaped like a novel. A good editor could have done that. I wish he’d been able to find a publisher who wanted to work with him.

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April 7, 2019 at 11:18 am

I was late to the Sunday PM party as usual, but this is terrific advice Anne. No interest from me, I must say, except of course to remember that quip from P.D. James that I’ve shot out here before: “All fiction is largely autobiographical…”. I can’t tell you what a chill that sends through me when I’m reviewing my epic fantasy tales!

But in my view, much of the advice you give here survives intact to any genre fiction tale- DON’T tell them everything, or keep it even-handed among characters out of a sense of “fairness”. DO get your homework done on outside aspects, social media, and keep your eye on entertaining the reader with something that compels the page-turn.

I’m also minded of John Eldredge’s quick read “Epic” in which he suggests that we are always telling each other the story, with our lives, which you touched on. Whether we write it or not, we all do indeed have a story to tell. Woodworking does that. Safely driving a school bus does that. Singing on a street corner does that, I can tell you, and the guys who came to arrest me would agree.

April 7, 2019 at 11:31 am

Will–You’re not late. You’re early. 🙂 Our notices used to go out at 1 PM Pacific Time and now they go out at 1 PM Eastern Time.

You’re right that humans are always telling stories. It’s only the medium that changes. And all writers should be keeping their reader in mind, no matter what their genre .

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April 7, 2019 at 11:38 am

This is so timely for me. After writing several historical fictions and short story collections, I feel ready to write my memoir of backpacking Europe in the 1980s with a Eurorail pass and $100 in my pocket. Thank you for some excellent tips! I think I’m on the right track!

April 7, 2019 at 1:59 pm

Tam–How fun to write a memoir of those travelling days. I did much the same in the 1970s. Lots of fun stories. Maybe I’ll even tackle a memoir some day. Best of luck!

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April 20, 2019 at 8:43 am

Quick question–if I put some of my “memoiric essays” on a personal blog does that hurt the chances of them getting published since they are already out there in the world? Thanks for any insight into this.

April 21, 2019 at 2:59 pm

Julie–Each publication has different rules about what “previously published” means. But they tend to be more lax for nonfiction. Most places will take a piece that’s been published on a blog, but some won’t. They’ll usually tell you in the guidelines.

If you put blogposts in a book of collected essays, just change things up a bit and there’s usually no problem. But you don’t want to publish a book of blogposts taken directly from the web without alteration, because Amazon may take you down for selling something that is “freely available on the web.” .

April 22, 2019 at 11:15 am

Thank you for the reply. Very helpful.

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May 14, 2019 at 12:50 am

Memoir writing can be very specialized and needs a certain level of expertise to do properly. Thanks for sharing these useful tips Anne.

May 14, 2019 at 10:03 am

Michael–It does indeed. The memoirs that really take off, like “Eat, Pray, Love” are usually written by professional writers with lots of experience. It’s hard for a newbie to write a good one.

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November 16, 2020 at 3:45 pm

I can’t simply go without leaving a comment. This post is a great read.

I hope you can take the time to read my post as well The Excellent Benefits of Reading Memoirs

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April 28, 2021 at 3:36 pm

Thanks for this article! I’m working on a memoir of sorts written in verse, similar to Eric Gansworth’s recently published, Apple Skin to the Core. And you have some helpful tips!

April 28, 2021 at 4:36 pm

Bridgitte–That’s quite an undertaking! But Gansworth’s book may have paved the way, and yours will be part of a trend. Best of luck with it!

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How to Write a Memoir Essay

October 12, 2023

What is a Memoir Essay?

A memoir essay is a form of autobiographical writing that focuses on a specific aspect of the author’s life. Unlike a traditional autobiography, which typically covers the author’s entire life, a memoir essay hones in on a particular event, time period, or theme. It is a deeply personal and reflective piece that allows the writer to delve into their memories, thoughts, and emotions surrounding their chosen subject.

In a memoir essay, the author aims to not only recount the events that took place but also provide insight into the impact and meaning of those experiences. It is a unique opportunity for self-discovery and exploration, while also offering readers a glimpse into the author’s world. The beauty of a memoir essay lies in its ability to weave together personal anecdotes, vivid descriptions, and introspective reflections to create a compelling narrative.

Writing a memoir essay can be both challenging and rewarding. It requires careful selection of memories, thoughtful introspection, and skillful storytelling. The process allows the writer to make sense of their past, gain a deeper understanding of themselves, and share their unique story with others.

Choosing a Topic for Your Memoir Essay

Selecting the right topic is crucial to write a good memoir essay. It sets the foundation for what you will explore and reveal in your personal narrative. When choosing a topic, it’s essential to reflect on your significant life experiences and consider what stories or themes hold the most meaning for you.

One approach is to think about moments or events that have had a profound impact on your life. Consider times of triumph or adversity, moments of exploration or self-discovery, relationships that have shaped you, or challenges you have overcome. These experiences can provide a rich foundation for your memoir essay.

Another option is to focus on a specific theme or aspect of your life. You might explore topics such as identity, family dynamics, cultural heritage, career milestones, or personal beliefs. By centering your essay around a theme, you can weave together various memories and reflections to create a cohesive narrative.

It’s also important to consider your target audience. Who do you want to connect with through your memoir essay? Understanding your audience’s interests and experiences can help you choose a topic that will resonate with them.

Ultimately, the topic should be one that excites you and allows for introspection and self-discovery. Choose a topic that ignites your passion and offers a story worth sharing.

Possible Memoir Essay Topics

  • Childhood Memories
  • Family Dynamics
  • Life-altering Events
  • Overcoming Societal Expectations
  • Love and Loss
  • Self-discovery and Transformation
  • Lessons from Nature
  • Journey from Darkness to Light
  • Triumphing Over Adversities
  • Life’s Defining Moments

Outlining the Structure of Your Memoir Essay

Writing a memoir essay allows you to share your personal experiences, reflections, and insights with others. However, before you start pouring your thoughts onto the page, it’s essential to outline the structure of your essay. This not only provides a clear roadmap for your writing but also helps you maintain a cohesive and engaging narrative.

First, consider the opening. Begin with a captivating introduction that hooks the reader and establishes the theme or central message of your memoir. This is your chance to grab their attention and set the tone for the rest of the essay.

Next, move on to the body paragraphs. Divide your essay into sections that chronologically or thematically explore different aspects of your life or experiences. Use vivid descriptions, anecdotes, and dialogue to bring your memories to life. It’s crucial to maintain a logical flow and transition smoothly between different ideas or events.

As you approach the conclusion, summarize the key points you’ve discussed and reflect on the significance of your experiences. What lessons have you learned? How have you grown or changed as a result? Wrap up your memoir essay by leaving the reader with a memorable takeaway or a thought-provoking question.

Remember, the structure of your memoir essay should support your storytelling and allow for a genuine and authentic exploration of your experiences. By outlining your essay’s structure, you’ll have a solid foundation to create a compelling and impactful memoir that resonates with your readers.

How to Write an Introduction for Your Memoir Essay

The introduction of your memoir essay sets the stage for your story and captivates your readers from the very beginning. It is your opportunity to grab their attention, establish the tone, and introduce the central theme of your memoir.

To create a compelling introduction, consider starting with a hook that intrigues your readers. This can be a surprising fact, a thought-provoking question, or a vivid description that immediately draws them in. Your goal is to make them curious and interested in what you have to say.

Next, provide a brief overview of what your memoir essay will explore. Give your readers a glimpse into the key experiences or aspects of your life that you will be sharing. However, avoid giving away too much detail. Leave room for anticipation and curiosity to keep them engaged.

Additionally, consider how you want to establish the tone of your memoir. Will it be reflective, humorous, or nostalgic? Choose your words and phrasing carefully to convey the right emotions and set the right atmosphere for your story.

Finally, end your introduction with a clear and concise thesis statement. This statement should express the central theme or message that your memoir will convey. It serves as a roadmap for your essay and guides your readers in understanding the purpose and significance of your memoir.

By crafting a strong and captivating introduction for your memoir essay, you will draw readers in and make them eager to dive into the rich and personal journey that awaits them.

Write the Main Body of Your Memoir Essay

When developing the main body of your memoir essay, it’s essential to structure your thoughts and experiences in a clear and engaging manner. Here are some tips to help you effectively organize and develop the main body of your essay:

  • Chronological Structure: Consider organizing your memoir essay in chronological order, following the sequence of events as they occurred in your life. This allows for a natural flow and a clear timeline that helps readers understand your personal journey.
  • Thematic Structure: Alternatively, you can focus on specific themes or lessons that emerged from your experiences. This approach allows for a more focused exploration of different aspects of your life, even if they did not occur in a linear order.
  • Use Vivid Details: Use sensory details, descriptive language, and engaging storytelling techniques to bring your memories to life. Transport your readers to the settings, evoke emotions, and create a vivid picture of the events and people in your life.
  • Show, Don’t Tell: Instead of simply stating facts, show your readers the experiences through engaging storytelling. Use dialogue, scenes, and anecdotes to make your memoir more dynamic and immersive.
  • Reflections and Insights: Share your reflections on the events and experiences in your memoir. Offer deeper insights, lessons learned, and personal growth that came from these moments. Invite readers to reflect on their own lives and connect with your journey.

By organizing your main body in a logical and engaging manner, using vivid details, and offering thoughtful reflections, you can write a compelling memoir essay that captivates your readers and leaves a lasting impact.

Reflecting on Lessons Learned in Your Memoir Essay

One of the powerful aspects of a memoir essay is the opportunity to reflect on the lessons learned from your personal experiences. These reflections provide deeper insights and meaning to your story, leaving a lasting impact on your readers. Here are some tips for effectively reflecting on lessons learned in your memoir essay:

  • Summarize Key Points: In the conclusion of your essay, summarize the key events and experiences you have shared throughout your memoir. Briefly remind readers of the significant moments that shaped your journey.
  • Identify Core Themes: Reflect on the core themes and messages that emerged from your experiences. What did you learn about resilience, love, identity, or perseverance? Identify the overarching lessons that you want to convey.
  • Offer Personal Insights: Share your personal insights and reflections on how these lessons have influenced your life. Were there specific turning points or moments of epiphany? How have these experiences shaped your beliefs, values, or actions?
  • Connect to the Reader: Make your reflections relatable to your readers. Explore how the lessons you learned can resonate with their own lives and experiences. This allows them to connect with your story on a deeper level.
  • Offer a Call to Action: Encourage readers to reflect on their own lives and consider how the lessons from your memoir can apply to their own journeys. Pose thought-provoking questions or suggest actions they can take to apply these insights.

By reflecting on the lessons learned in your memoir essay, you give your readers a chance to contemplate their own lives and find inspiration in your personal growth. These reflections add depth and impact to your storytelling, making your memoir essay truly memorable.

Crafting a Strong Conclusion for Your Memoir Essay

The conclusion of your memoir essay is your final opportunity to leave a lasting impression on your readers. It is where you tie together the threads of your story and offer a sense of closure and reflection. Here are some tips to help you craft a strong conclusion for your memoir essay:

  • Summarize the Journey: Remind your readers of the key moments and experiences you shared throughout your essay. Briefly summarize the significant events and emotions that shaped your personal journey.
  • Revisit the Central Theme: Reiterate the central theme or message of your memoir. Emphasize the lessons learned, personal growth, or insights gained from your experiences. This helps reinforce the purpose and impact of your story.
  • Reflect on Transformation: Reflect on how you have transformed as a result of the events and experiences you shared. Share the growth, self-discovery, or newfound perspectives that have shaped your life.
  • Leave a Lasting Impression: Use powerful and evocative language to leave a lasting impact on your readers. Craft a memorable phrase or thought that lingers in their minds even after they finish reading your essay.
  • Offer a Call to Action or Reflection: Encourage your readers to take action or reflect on their own lives. Pose thought-provoking questions, suggest further exploration, or challenge them to apply the lessons from your memoir to their own experiences.

By crafting a strong conclusion, you ensure that your memoir essay resonates with your readers long after they have finished reading it. It leaves them with a sense of closure, inspiration, and a deeper understanding of the transformative power of personal storytelling.

Editing and Proofreading Your Memoir Essay

Editing and proofreading are crucial steps in the writing process that can greatly enhance the quality and impact of your memoir essay. Here are some tips to help you effectively edit and proofread your work:

  • Take a Break: After completing your initial draft, take a break before starting the editing process. This allows you to approach your essay with fresh eyes and a clear mind.
  • Review for Structure and Flow: Read through your essay to ensure it has a logical structure and flows smoothly. Check that your paragraphs and sections transition seamlessly, guiding readers through your story.
  • Trim and Refine: Eliminate any unnecessary or repetitive information. Trim down long sentences and paragraphs to make your writing concise and impactful. Consider the pacing and ensure that each word contributes to the overall story.
  • Check for Clarity and Consistency: Ensure that your ideas and thoughts are expressed clearly. Identify any confusing or vague passages and revise them to improve clarity. Check for consistency in tense, tone, and voice throughout your essay.
  • Proofread for Errors: Carefully proofread your essay for spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors. Pay attention to common mistakes such as subject-verb agreement, verb tenses, and punctuation marks. Consider using spell-checking tools or having someone else review your work for an objective perspective.
  • Seek Feedback: Share your memoir essay with a trusted friend, family member, or writing partner. Their feedback can provide valuable insights and help you identify areas for improvement.

By dedicating time to edit and proofread your memoir essay, you ensure that it is polished, coherent, and error-free. These final touches enhance the reader’s experience and allow your story to shine.

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Writing the Memoir (Moxley): Tips for Writing the Memoir

  • Introduction

Tips for Writing the Memoir

  • Annotated Memoirs
  • Describing a Person
  • Describing a Place
  • Sample Topics and Essays

I.  How to Begin

A. You can start in medias res , in the middle of an anecdote, for example, that will build a character or an emotion; this "story" should not last more than one paragraph before your first-person "essay" voice needs to emerge in some direct message or reflection to your reader that then establishes your focus:  

   My mom woke me at the regular time that morning, but the strange tone of her voice told me that something was wrong. As I shook off the covers and rubbed my eyes, she quietly told me to get dressed and come into the kitchen, that she had some bad news to tell me. I began to brace myself for a shock-- I was sure that my dog had died. Soon my brothers and I were sitting on the couch together, fearing the worst, and my mother told us what was wrong. "Boys, your Aunt Rhonda is dead." (from “Aunt Rhonda”)

   Or you can start in the middle of an action , one that will set up an upcoming paragraph that will establish your focus:

I was unafraid of falling as I Ieapt from rock to rock along the quarry rim in an acid January wind; our hike had taken us along the track of a shallow, rocky stream—rather it had taken me down the middle of the stream, by whatever dry protrusions would support my seven-year-old frame.  I was proven; I was sure-footed.  I knew the place of each of my limbs and kept my balance. For the others, the footpath sufficed. My mother and father climbed with considerable effort; Greg Waugh, my godfather, led his wife Susan and sons, Daniel and Stuart, with an energy near my own.  He was tall, seeming one among the trees; the depth of the woods reflected his narrow form, but for a grey leather jacket and fading jeans, in a few thousand sapling pines and leafless oaks.  He spoke deliberately, with a rasp in his voice.  His force of being pulled the rest along.  (from “Foxwright”)

B. Start with some self-reflection that immediately establishes the focus of your essay and your voice:

Incidents, or rather accidents, as I have found, work their ways into our lives, pushing a childish, fantasy-infested state of life (we all have known) into a state of awareness much higher. Death is one concept which particularly seems to evoke what would be emotion in the disguise of confusion in the inexperienced child. The suicide of my cousin is a misfortune which, alongside the other deaths I confronted in my childhood, was thrown into the back of my mind, receiving no particular consideration in contrast to the immediate thoughts of my mind: baseball cards, birthdays, toothfairies, pogs, ice cream, and so on. Not until last night did I actually resurface the loss of my cousin Patrick. I asked myself why. Particular scenes emerged. An adoption, a seemingly parentless childhood, a divorce, but most notably, a hated father. (from “The Responsibility of the Living”)

C.   Begin with a general description of the time-frame of your memoir to create setting, atmosphere, and the mindset of the person you were at the time of this memory:  

The winter I was thirteen years old, I killed twelve squirrels, two rabbits, and a quail.  I considered this tally impressive because I wasn’t allowed into the woods with a gun until my father got home from work at 4:30, which left less than an hour of shooting light.  That was the year my father finally agreed to take me deer hunting.  He woke me the morning of Opening Day by calling my name the one time he said he would.  I pulled on a pair of long underwear, two pairs of jeans, and four or five pairs of socks.  I shoved my feet into a cheap pair of two-toned, zip-up boots my mother had bought at Pic-N-Pay.  Before I had been awake ten minutes, we were headed in my father’s Volkswagen for the steep, laurelled ridges of Green River Cove, the next county over, the magic country where deer lived. (from Tony Earley’s “Deer Season, 1974")

D.  Begin by getting in your reader’s face, focusing on your subject from the opening line (note the use of anecdote and dialogue to build this fast start):  

For the last three years Mamie had been in a nursing home in my hometown, right around the corner from my mother’s house.  All day long, over and over, she would cry “Momma, Papa” and talk with people four generations gone.  The last time I saw her, tiny and shriveled in her bed, completely blind and almost wholly deaf, she took my hand and said, “Is that the boy?  My boy always was a rascal.”  In her final lucid moment she whispered to my mother, “Put me in the ground next to Percy and close the gate behind you.  I want to go home.”  She was weeping when she died. (from Willie Morris’s “Weep No More, My Lady”)

II.  How to Proceed

  A.  Try to put distance between you and the event, even it happened last summer.  If possible, imagine a forty-year-old thinking back on the events in your essay. This technique will help you to establish your voice, one that is objective yet passionate, observant, and pleasantly self -derisive.

  B.   In one or two nights, write your memoir non-stop in what some call a “fast write,” without questioning your organization, style, or grammar.  Let the whole memory get out onto the page; let one thing lead to another (you’ll find buried memories waiting to be excavated).  At some point you will sense that you have enough written to stop and begin crafting the essay with your audience in mind.

  C.  Keep your audience in mind.  You are writing for a national audience, not people in west Nashville .  That means that you have to enjoy describing what Belle Meade Boulevard  suggests about social class, what Franklin  means to the white-flight South, what the Nashville  skyline looks like. If you insure your reader can see what you are picturing, the essay will achieve a universality because your readers can picture their own streets in yours.

   D.  After you have finished your non-stop “fast write,” determine your focus (or purpose).  Keep that focus in mind always.  If your essay is about the death of a pig, and your father is there for the death of this pig, don’t get off the track and turn the piece into a father-son essay, unless of course that’s what you want.

E.  After you’ve written some 4-5 pages of disorganized memory, begin to divide it up, determining a good place to start and whether you are going to have “parts” to the essay.  In most 4-5 page essays, there are no breaks in the writing; however, your paragraphing will signal certain transitions in time or thought or realization.

F.  By end of the first part (1-3 paragraphs), make sure your “voice” is distinct.  In the sample essays you should note how the writers create their voices to be wryly ironic, or comfortably self-mocking, or satirical, or detached-but-soon-to-become-sympathetic.  Creating “voice” is hard to teach; you have to read your own work aloud to make sure it sounds the way you want it to sound.

III.  Ways To Get the Most Out of the Memory and To Build Your Memoir

  Once you have set up the focus and are into the essay, there are a number of strategic “tricks,” or formulas, you can use to keep your essay immediate and urgent.

A.  Every place that you mention gets a sentence or two of description. Before any character in your essay can do anything, he or she has to be somewhere in which to do it.  Obviously, some places get more attention than others. Use physical details, concrete imagery, and figurative language. Avoid abstractions; think SDT ( Show, Don’t Tell ).  See Describing a Place for some help.

B.  Every character you mention needs to be described, some characters in more detail than others. A main character will require some specific detail.  Focus on the telling details of their physical description (size, shape, particular body parts, clothes, etcetera, anything that suggests what kind of person they are). "The clothes make the man" is a cliche that holds true in all writing. Again, think SDT.   See Describing a Person for some help.

C.  Let some characters talk. Set up a scene or two that showcases their characteristic phrasing.  A character's directly quoted words should do only one thing: create character. That's it.  Avoid long exchanges of dialogue unless you are using some local-color expressions to build a character or community.

D.  Build in flashbacks to create character, especially in an essay that is about a person, deceased or alive.

E.  One huge tip:  I ntersperse whole sentences of self-reflection or, when appropriate, social commentary .  Feel free to digress after an anecdote or in various places in your memoir to comment on your foibles, your family's quirks, your society, whatever. These moments create your voice, a voice that should be discriminating, incisive, wry, ironic, humorous, and plausible.

F.  Don’t fear being “personal” and somewhat confessional, showing the flaws in your own past self that, as the essay proceeds, usually leads to some realization that justifies your writing about this event, tragic or comic as it may be.  You, the writer, should be invoked by nearly every line. (In fiction, typically the writer is absent, and the story is all that matters.  In non-fiction, the writer is always present.)

G.  Humor is a key element to all essays, even darker ones.

H.  Remember always that you are the wise man in the essay, someone who is imparting some wisdom of existence to your audience. This wisdom could reveal itself in a memoir that playfully makes fun of your own naivete or in a serious piece about suicide.

IV.  About Style and Grammar

A.  Observe the rules of sentence structure unless you find a strategic place to use a rhetorical fragment.

B.   Write in conversational, not formal, English.  For example, feel free to end a sentence with a preposition:  “Going shirtless around the house was something my grandmother wouldn’t put up with.”   Or write “Like I said . . . ,” instead of the proper “As I said . . . .”

C.  Avoid such formal transitions as “however,” “thus,” “moreover,” and “therefore.”

D.  Use colloquial language wherever appropriate.

E.  Use the first person.

F.  Write in whatever tense is appropriate.

G.  Use contractions.  

H.  Use many paragraphs, even one-line paragraphs, for effect and delivery.

  • << Previous: Introduction
  • Next: Annotated Memoirs >>
  • Last Updated: Jan 18, 2024 11:10 AM
  • URL: https://libguides.montgomerybell.edu/memoir

Essay Papers Writing Online

Learn the art of crafting a captivating and reflective memoir essay to chronicle your life’s journey.

How to write a memoir essay

Our lives are an endless journey, a unique tapestry of experiences, emotions, and memories woven delicately together. Each person’s story is a precious gem, waiting to be discovered and shared. As we traverse through the chapters of life, we often encounter moments that leave an indelible mark on our souls. These moments become the heart and soul of our memoir – a testament to our existence, a testament to the human experience.

But how do we transform these fragments of our lives into a captivating memoir essay? How do we effectively convey our thoughts, emotions, and the essence of our being? Crafting a memoir essay is an art, an alchemy that blends vulnerability with profound self-reflection, and the result is a narrative that resonates deeply with readers.

Embracing the role of a storyteller, a memoirist opens the gates to their inner world, revealing their triumphs, struggles, and intimate moments with raw honesty. This profound act of self-disclosure leads to a connection that transcends time, culture, and personal differences. By bravely sharing their truths, memoirists allow readers to step into their shoes, to walk a mile in their journey, and to gain new perspectives on life’s intricacies.

However, crafting a memoir essay goes beyond mere storytelling. It requires a delicate balance between presenting accurate accounts of one’s experiences and infusing them with the illuminating power of reflection. It’s not just about relaying events; it’s about capturing the essence of those events, extracting meaning and wisdom from the tapestry of our existence. Through introspection, we can uncover the underlying themes, lessons, and personal transformations that emerge from the chaotic symphony of our lives.

As we embark on the journey of writing a memoir essay, we embark on a voyage of self-discovery. It is a process of peeling back the layers of our experiences, examining the emotions that have shaped us, and finding the courage to confront the truths that reside in the depths of our being. It is through this voyage that we unlock the potential to touch the hearts and minds of our readers, to inspire and leave an indelible mark that transcends the boundaries of time.

Discover the Power of Your Personal Narrative

Explore the incredible potential of your own unique life story through the art of storytelling. Your personal narrative is an invaluable tool that can inspire, educate, and empower both yourself and others. By sharing your experiences, perspectives, and lessons learned, you can connect with others on a deeper level and create a lasting impact.

Through the power of words, you have the ability to transport your readers to different times and places, allowing them to live vicariously through your experiences. Your personal narrative holds the potential to ignite their imagination, evoke strong emotions, and provoke thoughtful reflection.

Memoir writing is not merely a chronological retelling of events; it is a transformative journey that enables you to uncover hidden truths, gain insights, and find meaning in your own life. By delving into your memories and organizing your thoughts on paper, you can gain a new perspective and a deeper understanding of yourself and your personal journey.

Moreover, your personal narrative has the power to bridge gaps and foster connections. By sharing your unique story, you can create a sense of belonging, empathy, and understanding among individuals who may have had vastly different experiences. Your story can challenge stereotypes, break down barriers, and promote dialogue and inclusivity.

Writing your personal narrative is both a creative and introspective endeavor. It allows you to not only connect with others but also to connect with yourself. Through the process of self-reflection and self-expression, you can unearth hidden passions and talents, find healing and closure, and ultimately discover the strength and resilience within yourself.

So, embrace the power of your personal narrative. It is a gift that only you can share with the world. Write your story, be authentic, and let your voice be heard. You never know whose life you may touch, inspire, or change through the power of your words.

Uncover the unique story within you and explore its transformative potential

Discover the hidden narrative embedded within your own experiences and explore how it can shape and transform your perspective on life. Each individual possesses a story waiting to be told, a tale that is distinctly their own. By delving into the depths of your personal history, you embark on a journey of self-discovery that can have a profound impact on your growth and personal development.

Through the process of introspection and reflection, you uncover the significant moments and encounters that have shaped you into the person you are today. By exploring the details of these experiences and examining their impact, you gain a deeper understanding of yourself and your place in the world. Your unique story holds the power to transform not only your own life but also the lives of others.

As you delve deeper into the layers and intricacies of your narrative, you may find unexpected connections and themes that resonate with a broader audience. Your story has the potential to touch the hearts of others who have had similar experiences or who can relate to the emotions you have felt. By sharing your journey, you create a space for empathy, understanding, and connection.

Uncovering the unique story within you allows you to realize the resilience and strength you possess. It is through sharing your vulnerabilities and triumphs that you inspire others to embrace their own journeys and find their own transformative potential. Your story becomes a source of empowerment for not only yourself but also for those who are fortunate enough to hear it.

So, take the time to explore your personal narrative, to discover the unique story that lies within you. Embrace the transformative potential that awaits as you share your experiences, insights, and lessons learned. Your story has the power to inspire, enlighten, and impact others. Unleash its power and let it guide you on your path of self-discovery and growth.

Craft Your Memoir Essay with Care

Craft Your Memoir Essay with Care

When it comes to creating your memoir essay, it’s essential to approach the process with thoughtfulness and precision. Writing a memoir is not simply about recounting the events of your life; it’s about capturing the essence of your experiences and sharing them with others in a meaningful way.

As you embark on the journey of crafting your memoir, take the time to reflect on the significance of your story. What themes and emotions are at its core? What lessons have you learned? By understanding the deeper meaning behind your experiences, you can ensure that your memoir resonates with readers on a profound level.

Another crucial aspect of crafting your memoir essay is the use of vivid and evocative language. The goal is to transport your readers into your world, allowing them to see, hear, feel, and experience everything alongside you. Utilize sensory details, imagery, and powerful metaphors to bring your story to life.

While it’s important to be honest and authentic in your memoir, it’s equally crucial to consider the impact your words may have on others. Be mindful of the people who are a part of your story and consider their perspectives. Strive for fairness and compassion as you navigate the delicate balance between truth and sensitivity.

Lastly, structure and organization are key components of a well-crafted memoir essay. Consider how best to arrange your narrative, whether it be chronologically, thematically, or through a series of vignettes. Experiment with different structures to find the one that best serves your story and engages your readers.

In conclusion, crafting a memoir essay requires careful attention to detail and a deep understanding of the story you want to tell. By approaching the process with care, you can create a memoir that not only captures your unique experiences but also resonates with readers on a profound level.

Tips and techniques to create a compelling and authentic memoir

Discovering the art of crafting a compelling and authentic memoir is an endeavor that requires equal parts reflection and storytelling prowess. To convey your unique journey and experiences in a memoir that captivates readers, it’s important to consider a few key tips and techniques.

Begin by taking the time to deeply reflect on your memories and experiences. Dive into the emotions, thoughts, and lessons learned during significant moments in your life. This introspection will allow you to uncover the essence of your story, as well as bring out the authenticity necessary to engage your readers.
A captivating memoir follows a narrative arc that takes readers on a journey. As you outline your memoir, consider how to structure your story in a way that builds tension, introduces conflict, and resolves in a satisfying manner. A well-developed narrative arc will keep readers engaged and invested in your memoir.
Instead of simply recounting events, strive to show the emotions, senses, and details that bring your story to life. Use vivid language and descriptive imagery to paint a picture for your readers. By engaging their senses, you create a more immersive reading experience, allowing them to connect deeply with your memoir.
Authenticity is key in a memoir, and that means being honest and vulnerable about your experiences. Don’t shy away from sharing the challenges, mistakes, and growth you’ve experienced. Embrace the moments of vulnerability and the lessons they offer, as they will make your memoir relatable and resonate with readers.
Incorporate vivid and well-developed characters into your memoir, including both the people who have had a significant impact on your life and those who have played minor roles. By fleshing out these characters, you not only add depth to your story but also create opportunities for readers to form connections with them.
Consistency in voice is crucial in memoir writing. Determine the tone and style that best reflects your personality and experiences, and carry it throughout your narrative. This consistency will lend authenticity and coherence to your memoir, making it feel like a cohesive and genuine piece of work.
After completing a first draft, the editing and revision process is vital. Take the time to review your memoir, refining the language, structure, and overall flow. Consider seeking feedback from trusted individuals who can offer objective perspectives and suggestions for improvement. Revise as necessary until your memoir shines.

By implementing these tips and techniques, you can create a memoir that not only captures your unique story but also engages and resonates with readers. Remember to stay true to yourself, trust your voice, and be open to the transformative power of sharing your life experiences through the art of memoir writing.

Find Your Writing Voice

Find Your Writing Voice

Discovering your unique writing voice is essential when it comes to writing a compelling memoir essay. It is the distinctive tone, style, and perspective that set your storytelling apart and create a deep connection with your readers. When you find your writing voice, it brings authenticity and authenticity to your words, allowing your story to resonate with others.

One way to find your writing voice is by exploring different writing styles and experimenting with various techniques. Try reading memoirs written by different authors and notice how each one has their own distinct voice. Pay attention to the use of language, sentence structure, and the overall tone of the piece. Reflect on what resonates with you and consider incorporating elements of those styles into your own writing.

Another way to find your writing voice is by embracing vulnerability and being true to yourself. Your voice is a reflection of who you are, your experiences, and the emotions that shape your story. Don’t be afraid to share your thoughts, fears, and insecurities in your writing. Honesty and authenticity are powerful tools that can help you connect with your readers on a deeper level and make your story more relatable.

Additionally, it’s important to trust yourself and have confidence in your writing. Everyone has a unique story to tell, and your voice is valid and valuable. Write from the heart and trust your instincts. Avoid comparing yourself to others, as this can hinder your ability to fully embrace your own voice. Remember that your story is unique and deserves to be told in your own words.

In conclusion, finding your writing voice is a journey of self-discovery and exploration. It requires experimentation, vulnerability, and trust. Embrace your unique perspective, be true to yourself, and allow your voice to shine through in your memoir essay. By doing so, you will create a powerful and compelling narrative that will captivate your readers and leave a lasting impact.

Explore different styles and techniques to express your true self in writing

Discovering your true self and expressing it through writing is a deeply personal and powerful experience. There are countless styles and techniques that can be used to convey your unique story and capture the essence of who you are.

One approach to expressing your true self in writing is through the use of vivid and evocative language. By carefully selecting your words and crafting descriptive sentences, you can paint a vivid picture in the minds of your readers, allowing them to experience the emotions and sensations that you felt during the events of your life.

Another technique to express yourself authentically in writing is through the use of personal anecdotes and stories. Sharing specific memories and experiences can provide insight into your character, values, and beliefs. By weaving these stories into your memoir essay, you can create a stronger connection with your audience and allow them to relate to your unique journey.

Additionally, experimenting with different literary styles can help you find the best way to express your true self. Whether you prefer a straightforward and factual approach or a lyrical and poetic style, exploring different writing techniques can uncover new ways to convey your thoughts and emotions.

An essential aspect of expressing your true self in writing is honesty and vulnerability. By being open and transparent about your experiences, thoughts, and feelings, you can create a genuine connection with your readers. This vulnerability allows them to empathize with your story and encourages them to reflect on their own lives.

Ultimately, exploring different styles and techniques to express your true self in writing is a personal journey. It requires self-reflection, experimentation, and a willingness to share your authentic self with the world. Embrace the process and allow your true voice to shine through your memoir essay.

Structure Your Memoir for Maximum Impact

Crafting a well-structured memoir is crucial in order to captivate readers and convey your unique story effectively. How you organize your memoir can greatly impact how it resonates with readers, allowing them to fully immerse themselves in your experiences and emotions. In this section, we will explore various techniques and strategies to structure your memoir for maximum impact.

  • Chronological Order: One common approach to structuring a memoir is to organize events in chronological order. This allows readers to follow along with the progression of your life story, from the beginning to the end. By presenting events in the order they occurred, you can create a sense of anticipation and build tension as the story unfolds.
  • Thematic Structure: Alternatively, you can choose to structure your memoir thematically. This involves organizing your story around specific themes or topics that are relevant to your experiences. For example, if your memoir focuses on overcoming adversity, you can group events and anecdotes that highlight your journey of resilience and personal growth.
  • Flashbacks and Foreshadowing: Incorporating flashbacks and foreshadowing can add depth and complexity to your memoir. Flashbacks allow you to delve into past events that shaped your story, providing context and insight into your character’s development. Foreshadowing, on the other hand, hints at future events or outcomes, creating suspense and keeping readers engaged.
  • Emotional Arc: Consider structuring your memoir based on the emotional arc of your story. This involves carefully mapping out the emotional highs and lows throughout your narrative, ensuring that they are effectively conveyed to your readers. By capturing the full range of emotions you experienced, you can create a more impactful and relatable memoir.

Remember, the structure you choose should align with the overall message and purpose of your memoir. Experiment with different approaches and find the one that best showcases your story and resonates with your readers. A well-structured memoir has the power to leave a lasting impact and inspire others with your unique journey.

Guide your readers through your narrative with a well-structured framework

Effectively leading your readers through your memoir essay requires a carefully constructed framework that provides a clear path for them to follow. By organizing your story in a logical and coherent manner, you can ensure that your readers stay engaged and connected to the narrative.

One way to achieve this is by establishing a strong introductory paragraph that captures the attention of your audience. Use vivid language and compelling storytelling techniques to pique their curiosity and set the tone for the rest of the essay. This introductory paragraph should serve as a guidepost, signaling to the reader what lies ahead and captivating their interest from the very beginning.

Once you have successfully engaged your readers, it is important to maintain their interest by presenting your story in a well-organized structure. Consider the key events and experiences that shaped your narrative and arrange them in a logical order, either chronologically or thematically. This will help your readers to follow your story and understand the development and progression of your experiences.

As you guide your readers through your memoir essay, it is essential to provide sufficient context and background information. This may involve explaining the significance of certain events, introducing important characters, or providing historical, cultural, or personal context to enhance understanding. By offering these details, you can ensure that your readers fully comprehend the nuances and complexities of your story.

In addition to a well-structured framework, it is crucial to consider the emotional journey of your readers. The use of descriptive language, sensory details, and emotional appeal can help readers connect on a deeper level with your story. By evoking their emotions, you can create a more impactful and memorable reading experience.

In conclusion, guiding your readers through your memoir essay with a well-organized framework is essential for capturing and maintaining their attention. By crafting an engaging introduction, organizing your story in a logical manner, providing context, and appealing to the emotions of your readers, you can create a narrative that captivates and resonates with your audience.

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tips for writing a memoir essay

How to write a memoir essay

If you’ve been reading my emails and posts for awhile you’ll know my favourite strategy for getting a book deal. Why is it my favourite strategy? Because it’s empowering! Let’s face it, publishing can be slow, elitist, confusing, and secretive!

My favourite strategy for getting a book published is not…

  • Spending five years on your manuscript,
  • Spending two years on your book proposal….
  • Paying for endless critiques or constantly workshopping either of the two….

My favourite strategy is to leverage a published non-fiction piece – say, a blog post, an essay or an article – and turn it into a book deal.

This is how I found an agent and publisher for A Letter From Paris , it’s how dozens of authors I know have secured incredible book deals. You also earn money (if you pitch to a paying publication), improve your writing skills, build your platform and make impressive connections, learn a lot, and more.

Publishing a non-fiction piece either in a top publication or even a lesser-known outlet is also a great way to boost your writing profile (AKA that dreaded thing called ‘platform’ for the introverts among us!), gauge interest in your memoir topic or particular threads of the story, improve your google-ability (yes this IS a thing – be assured any agent or editor will google you before they do anything else!), add fantastic clips and extra material to your book proposal , finesse your story and improve your writing skills.

So how do you write a memoir essay?

In this post I’m going to give you the key points you need to remember to write a memoir essay – this is super important if you’re hoping that it will lead to a book deal for your memoir.

1: Clarify your Hook

The most important thing you need to get right for your memoir essay is also the most important thing you need in a book-length memoir: a strong hook.

Put simply, a hook is something unique, unusual, contrasting, strange or compelling about your specific personal story. I’ve talked about the hook in many of my blogs and webinars, but really, your hook is that part of your story that your friends say “WTF?” when you explain that the same day you lost your dog and your husband, you won the lottery.

It’s that part of your story that beggars belief but also elicits intrigue from your audience. It raises questions and interest.

Of course, you may not have lost your dog and your husband but also won the lottery on the same day, but the most human experiences can be given a strong hook. Find a common experience – right now, it’s the global pandemic. Throw in something unique to contend with or to assert: For example – you were on your second date when the lockdown was announced, and suddenly you had to decide whether to move in together or risk breaking the law or breaking up.

See what I mean? Practise finding your story hook by talking about your story with friends. What do they find most compelling? What is the question at the heart of your hook? You will spend the rest of the essay or article or series of blog posts exploring this.

Tip : Don’t just say “the essay is about my mother.” Or – “the essay is about my hunt for a house”. There has to be some kind of contrast. Even in a lyrical, prosaic essay, you need to explore the internal grapplings with something  – well, gripping.

Bonus tip: Start observing yourself when you watch a movie – how is the beginning of the story presented? How quickly do you learn the hook? Usually, it’s right, front and centre. For example: The Bourne Identity – Jason Bourne wakes on a boat in the mediterranean with amnesia, bullets in his body….  We have all these questions with a strong hook, we want to continue with the story…

tips for writing a memoir essay

2: Include both an inner and outer journey

Christopher Vogler in one of my favourite writing books, The Writer’s Journey   says:

“Good stories show two journeys, outer and inner…”

When I read a compelling memoir essay or article, I’m struck by how the narrator weaves the inner journey with what’s going on in their physical or outer world, and how the two reflect and build upon eachother. Have you read this essay by Lauren Hough ? What’s so human, and so compelling (and by the way, it led to a book deal for her forthcoming memoir from Vintage!), are the contrasts between her physical and working environment (being a “cable guy”) and the internal life she leads: left-leaning, queer, empathetic… These contrasts keep you reading (as well as the vivid examples she gives!). The characters she meets in her job (external) show who she is and what she believes (internal). Do you see what I mean?

Coming back to the hook element – it’s not enough to ‘explain’ something that happened to you – eg. I did this, I went here, I felt like this…. Plenty of these pieces get published. They’re clickbait, they’re quickly-forgotten, and you don’t want them on your clip list. Instead you need to deep-dive into how the external influenced the internal – to show those two journeys, inner and outer… To explore your own empathy, if you will.

Tip: Use the outer to provoke the inner. What do I mean? If you’re writing a story about meeting your real father for the first time at age 19 in a dive bar in New Orleans, relate the external reality of being in New Orleans with why and how you came to be meeting your father there…

3: Only include what’s relevant

I’ll come back to this, but a key pointer to an early versus a later draft is including relevant material. Essays need to be clean and concise – you don’t have an entire chapter to introduce a character, you have a few sentences or a paragraph. Even in longform essays, the story needs to be relatively tight. So, if your essay is about meeting your father in New Orleans (as the above example suggests), only include anecdotes, references, observations and material that relates to said meeting or how you dealt with said meeting.

Tip: Often (always?) you need to write out a whole heap of irrelevant material before you can get rid of it. You need to ‘write’ your way into the story. That’s fine! But make sure you leave it for a couple of days so you can assess what needs to go, when you come back to edit it.

4: End on a summary and/or show a clear transformation

The most important part in a memoir essay is that you show some sort of transformation in your character or point-of-view or change from beginning to end of the story. While you might be exploring a topic, question or theme in your story, you need to show that you, as a character, have changed or at the very least learnt and reflected from your journey. If it’s a non-fiction article, the ending will generally be a summary of what you’ve learnt, but with memoir it can be a little more subtle. You could end with a surprise realisation or moment of movement, to leave the reader on a high note.

Extra tips:

  • Never ever send your first draft to an editor – leave your memoir essay or article for a few days and come back to it.
  • Get some feedback . Truly – if one piece could mean you start fielding offers from agents and editors, wouldn’t you want to make it the best it can be?
  • Edit for repetition and relevance: It always amazes me how much I repeat certain words in my writing. You only see this when you’ve left it a few days, and if you use that wonderful ‘search and replace’ tool in Word.  So look for repetition of certain words and delete or change them, if need be. Be ruthless.
  • Relevance – As I touched on, above, if you’re aiming for a word count of 1200, for example (very standard for essays in publications such as the New York Times Ties section), and trying to lop 400 words off, what is LEAST relevant chunk to the main question or theme of your article? Remember: You can include the whole story in your book. This is a strategic published piece to elicit interest and engage in the most compelling elements of your story.
  • Don’t take a huge ‘run up’ – Just as a huge issue many editors see in memoir manuscripts submitted to publishing houses is that they take too long to get to the point of the story – so you should jump right into the inciting incident, or compelling event, in the beginning of your essay. Don’t write three paragraphs of beautiful poetry about what you did the day before the big event. You don’t have a lot of words to waste in an essay or article.
  • Study other essays – this should really be my number one piece of advice. Whatever outlet you choose to pitch to, study what has been published there and what has gone well.
  • Read it out loud. This is a great tip one of my first newspaper editors gave me (particularly when you have a low word count). Reading out loud helps you see what needs to go, and what doesn’t work, very quickly.

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Hi The detailed blogs are extremely helpful for memoir writing. Thank you so much for sharing your insight and the effort. much appreciated. ive been trying to download things and its unsuccessful.

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Hi Annie – you’re welcome. I can see you signed up for the checklists but you need to confirm your email – check your spam as it might have ended up there?

Thank you so much for the response. You’re right! All your mails went into spam . Sorted and looking forward to accessing the masterclass. Thank you for the blogs. Informative and precise. Wishes from Scotland Annie

Argh – I find that a lot with gmail emails, their filters are annoying. Enjoy the masterclass!

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  27. Submissions Call: Starved Magazine

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