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in: Character , Knowledge of Men

Brett & Kate McKay • August 15, 2023 • Last updated: September 9, 2023

The Ideal Man According to 7 Different Philosophers

What is the ideal man? 

This is a question that philosophers have pondered over and riffed on for millennia. 

Many philosophers have sketched out a vision of an ideal man who, unsurprisingly, encompasses the values that represent the pinnacle of their philosophical beliefs. These conceptions of ideal men are similar in that they all require reaching beyond human defaults to develop greater excellence, but each differs as to which virtues should be more or less emphasized to achieve that excellence. While none of the ideals can ever be perfectly embodied, they serve as aspirational models, guiding individuals to strive for personal growth and virtuous flourishing. 

Below, we explore seven of these conceptions of the ideal man from seven different philosophers.

Note: Understanding these archetypal ideals requires a deep understanding of the philosophies that inspired them. Libraries of books have been written about the philosophies we describe below. For brevity’s sake, we don’t get into the nuances of these ideal men. But we’ve provided links to additional resources so you can further explore the ideas behind them. Hopefully, these short sketches will inspire you to learn more!  

Plato’s Ideal Man: The Philosopher-King

Plato, the renowned ancient Greek philosopher, proposed an ideal man known as the “philosopher-king.” In his seminal work, the  Republic , Plato aimed to define justice and outline the structure of a model society. In his vision, society would be composed of three groups that corresponded to what he believed were the three parts of the soul: the producers, workers who represented base desire; the auxiliaries, soldiers who represented  thumos , or spiritedness; and the guardians, warrior-leaders who represented reason. 

Philosophers-kings would be chosen from the guardian class after a long and rigorous education and testing process, which Plato likened to refining gold. During their formative years, the guardians would cultivate the physical and mental faculties necessary for their future roles, beginning with a focus on gymnastics and music. As they matured, they would delve into the study of war, politics, Socratic dialogue, and the Forms — the abstract and eternal concepts that underpin reality. Once they reached the age of thirty-five, a test would determine the most qualified candidates for leadership positions within the city. Service in these leadership roles acted as another test to identify potential philosopher-kings. The guardians who excelled in these roles would be selected to be philosopher-kings at around age fifty.

The philosopher-king’s extensive education would equip him not only with the skills of governance, but also with a deep understanding of eternal ideals, particularly the Form of the Good. This knowledge would enable him to lead with wisdom and justice and make decisions that benefited society as a whole. 

Further Resources:

• What Is a Man? Plato’s Allegory of the Chariot
• A Primer on Plato: His Life, Works, and Philosophy
• Podcast #496: What Plato’s Republic Has to Say About Being a Man

Aristotle’s Ideal Man: The Great-Souled Man

Aristotle, Plato’s famed student, presents a different ideal man in his  Nicomachean Ethics . Aristotle’s concept of the ideal man is the “great-souled man” or the “magnanimous man.” For him, the pinnacle of manliness was the achievement of eudaimonia , a state of flourishing. For Aristotle, eudaimonia required not just excellence in virtue, but excellence in everything else: health, wealth, beauty, friendship, speaking, and more. Aristotle’s great-souled man embodies excellence in both inward traits and outward qualities.

The great-souled man has a measured sense of pride. He takes pride in his virtues and achievements, focusing only on significant accomplishments rather than trivial matters. 

Moreover, the great-souled man maintains a sense of honor ; he not only cultivates excellence for excellence’s sake, but he expects and values the recognition of his excellence by others. Not just any others, however; the great-souled man seeks the respect of those he considers his equals. He doesn’t care about garnering the approval of the masses. 

Aristotle’s ideal man also exhibits the type of courage Ernest Hemingway called “grace under pressure” and remains calm and dignified in the face of setbacks. 

In his interactions with others, the great-souled man displays magnanimity. He ignores slights and doesn’t hold grudges. He refrains from gossiping and talking ill of others. While the great-souled man avoids thinking and speaking poorly of others, he’s also reluctant to offer praise, as that would be seen as subservient. What’s more, he’s quick to grant favors, but avoids asking for them, as that too would signal his inferiority. 

In short, the ideal Aristotelian man is a virtuous aristocrat.

• Aristotle’s 11 Excellences for Living a Flourishing Life
• Podcast #515: Aristotle’s Wisdom on Living the Good Life

Confucius’ Ideal Man: The Gentleman 

Confucius, an ancient Chinese philosopher, emphasized the cultivation and performance of proper social conduct and virtues. In Confucianism, the ideal man is known as a  junzi , often translated as a “gentleman” or an “exemplary person.”

A  junzi demonstrates noble behavior and comports himself appropriately in all situations. The Confucian gentleman shows respect and deference to his elders and teachers while treating those beneath him with humanity. He observes society’s rituals and forms with sanctity and circumspection. He embodies  ren , or consummate conduct, which is a power that inspires others to be good and noble through one’s example. The  junzi’s actions uplift and ennoble others, encouraging them to do their own part to maintain social harmony. 

The Confucian gentleman continually seeks self-improvement. He engages in book study and seeks to apply his knowledge in practical situations. Confucius believed that with dedication and the cultivation of consummate conduct, any individual could become a  junzi , contributing to the betterment of society through his exemplary behavior.

Unlike the Aristotelian great-souled man, the Confucian gentleman adopts a humble orientation. He avoids excessive pride, recognizing its potential to disrupt social order. 

Further Resource:

• Podcast #746: The Confucian Gentleman

Nietzsche’s Ideal Man: The Übermensch

Friedrich Nietzsche, a German existential philosopher of the 19th century, introduced his famous ideal man — the Übermensch or Superman — in his work  Thus Spoke Zarathustra . 

For Nietzsche, becoming an Übermensch is a spiritual goal or way of approaching life. The way of the Übermensch is filled with energy, strength, risk-taking, and struggle. He represents the drive to strive and live for something beyond oneself while remaining grounded in earthly life (there’s no room for other-worldly longings in Nietzsche’s ideals). 

In a modern world where God is dead and meaning gone, the Übermensch creates his own meaning. Instead of feeling dread that life has no inherent purpose, the Übermensch finds the process of meaning-creation joyful. He embraces the challenge of fashioning his own purpose with laughter.

The Übermensch is really the full manifestation of Nietzsche’s will to power: the drive to assert oneself in the world — to be effective, leave a mark, become something better than you are right now, and express yourself.

Nietzsche never states exactly what the ideal man should strive for beyond himself or what he should create. Being filled with the creative force was the important thing. Each individual must determine his own path into the transcendent. 

• A Primer on Friedrich Nietzsche: His Life and Philosophical Style
• Say Yes to Life: An Accessible Primer on Nietzsche’s Big Ideas
• Podcast #480: Hiking With Nietzsche

Didymus’ Ideal Man: The Stoic Sage

The ideal man for the Stoic philosophers was something called the “Stoic sage.” While all the Stoics touched on and described the sage, Arius Didymus, a Stoic philosopher and the teacher of Caesar Augustus, did the most to flesh out this ideal. His descriptions of the sage were quoted at length in a 5th-century book by Joannes Stobaeus that compiled extracts of the works of Greek and Roman philosophers.

The Stoic sage represents the perfect embodiment of Stoic principles, characterized by the alignment of his life with nature. The sage’s life is tranquil, guided by virtue, and free from disturbances caused by external circumstances. He recognizes that external factors, such as wealth or reputation, are beyond his control and therefore not essential for happiness. Instead, the sage’s happiness, his eudaimonia, stems solely from the cultivation of virtue and the correct understanding of mental impressions.

• Podcast #316: An Introduction to Stoicism
• Podcast #537: How to Think Like a Roman Emperor
• 5 Ancient Stoic Tactics for Modern Life

Camus’ Ideal Man: The Absurd Man 

Albert Camus was a French existential philosopher, novelist, and playwright. His most important contribution to existential philosophy was his idea of “the absurd.” For Camus, the absurdity of life is created by the juxtaposition of two ideas: 1) the universe is inherently meaningless and indifferent to human concerns, and 2) humans have an innate drive to find meaning in life. 

Camus’ ideal individual, the “absurd man,” confronts the absurdity of existence with defiance and lives authentically in the face of meaninglessness. He is able to acknowledge the existential emptiness of the world without succumbing to despair or nihilism. He embraces the void directly with passion and joy. He rejects the illusion of imposed order, and in fact finds meaning in this very act of rebellion. He creates his own purpose and lives in the moment.  

Camus laid out his ideal of the absurd man in his essay “ The Myth of Sisyphus .” In the Greek myth, Sisyphus is condemned by the gods to push a boulder up a hill for eternity, only to watch it roll back down each time he reaches the top. For Camus, Sisyphus embodies the human condition: our endless search for meaning is as futile as Sisyphus’ eternal task. But Camus imagines Sisyphus as bearing a smile as he descends to retrieve the boulder, suggesting that there’s a kind of triumph, dignity, or even happiness in fully acknowledging the absurdity of life and choosing to push on regardless.

Kierkegaard’s Ideal Man: The Knight of Faith

Søren Kierkegaard, the 19th-century Danish father of existentialism, described his ideal man as the “Knight of Faith.” In his work  Fear and Trembling , Kierkegaard explores the biblical story of Abraham and Isaac to illustrate this archetype. 

Kierkegaard contrasts the Knight of Faith with another type of individual: the Knight of Infinite Resignation. The Knight of Infinite Resignation renounces worldly attachments and makes great sacrifices for a higher cause or ideal. He resigns himself to these losses and finds peace by letting go of finite and earthly desires. 

The Knight of Faith, however, goes beyond resignation and maintains an unwavering belief that he can still receive what he sacrificed due to his absolute faith in God. Abraham was a Knight of Faith because he simultaneously gave up Isaac for sacrifice while still believing that God would allow him to keep his son.

The Knight of Faith embraces the happiness to be found in the finite while also believing in the reality of the infinite — and the power of the infinite to make seemingly impossible things possible. To become a Knight of Faith, one must demonstrate faith through action, as Abraham did when he raised his dagger to sacrifice his son. The Knight of Faith takes bold leaps into the unknown.

• Kierkegaard’s Three Selves and How Not to Fall Into Despair
• Podcast #635: The Existentialist’s Survival Guide
• Podcast #790: Kierkegaard on the Present (Passionless) Age

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Essay on My Ideal Person – Short Essay & Long Essay upto 1500 Words

Essay on My Ideal Person: We all have someone we look up to, someone who inspires us to be better and strive for greatness. In this essay, I will discuss my ideal person and the qualities that make them stand out in my eyes. From their kindness and compassion to their determination and resilience, my ideal person embodies everything I aspire to be. Join me as I delve into what makes this individual so special and how they continue to influence and motivate me every day.

Table of Contents

My Ideal Person Essay Writing Tips

1. Start by brainstorming qualities and characteristics that you admire in a person. This could include traits such as kindness, intelligence, honesty, compassion, and determination.

2. Choose a specific person who embodies these qualities and who you consider to be your ideal person. This could be a family member, friend, mentor, or public figure.

3. Begin your essay with an introduction that introduces the person you are writing about and explains why you consider them to be your ideal person. Provide some background information about their life and accomplishments.

4. In the body of your essay, discuss in detail the qualities and characteristics that make this person your ideal. Provide specific examples and anecdotes that illustrate these qualities in action.

5. Consider how this person has influenced your own life and values. Have they inspired you to be a better person or to pursue your goals with more determination?

6. Reflect on how you can incorporate these qualities into your own life and strive to be more like your ideal person.

7. Conclude your essay by summarizing the key points you have made and reiterating why this person is your ideal. Consider how their example can continue to inspire you in the future.

8. Proofread and edit your essay to ensure that it is well-written and free of any errors. Consider asking a friend or family member to read it and provide feedback.

9. Consider including a personal anecdote or story that illustrates the impact this person has had on your life, making your essay more engaging and memorable.

10. Remember to stay focused on the qualities and characteristics that make this person your ideal, and avoid getting too off-topic or including unnecessary details.

Essay on My Ideal Person in 10 Lines – Examples

1. My ideal person is someone who is kind and compassionate towards others. 2. They are honest and trustworthy in all aspects of their life. 3. They have a strong work ethic and are dedicated to their goals and ambitions. 4. My ideal person is also confident and self-assured, but not arrogant. 5. They have a good sense of humor and can laugh at themselves. 6. They are open-minded and willing to listen to different perspectives. 7. My ideal person is also adventurous and enjoys trying new things and exploring new places. 8. They are supportive and encouraging to those around them. 9. My ideal person is also intelligent and knowledgeable, always seeking to learn and grow. 10. Overall, my ideal person is someone who is genuine, caring, and brings positivity into the lives of those around them.

Sample Essay on My Ideal Person in 100-180 Words

My ideal person is someone who embodies kindness, compassion, and integrity. They are humble and selfless, always putting others before themselves. They have a strong sense of empathy and are always willing to lend a helping hand to those in need.

My ideal person is also someone who is honest and trustworthy. They have a strong moral compass and always do the right thing, even when it is difficult. They are reliable and dependable, and their word is their bond.

In addition, my ideal person is someone who is hardworking and dedicated. They are passionate about their goals and work tirelessly to achieve them. They are resilient in the face of challenges and never give up on their dreams.

Overall, my ideal person is someone who inspires me to be a better person and makes the world a better place through their actions and words.

Short Essay on My Ideal Person in 200-500 Words

My ideal person is someone who possesses qualities that I admire and aspire to embody in my own life. This person is kind, compassionate, and empathetic, always putting the needs of others before their own. They are a good listener and offer support and guidance to those around them without judgment or criticism.

One of the most important qualities of my ideal person is their integrity and honesty. They always speak the truth, even when it is difficult, and they hold themselves to a high standard of ethical behavior. They are trustworthy and reliable, and their word is their bond.

My ideal person is also someone who is hardworking and dedicated to their goals and aspirations. They are ambitious and driven, always striving to improve themselves and make a positive impact on the world. They are not afraid to take risks and step out of their comfort zone in order to achieve their dreams.

In addition to their personal qualities, my ideal person is also someone who is knowledgeable and well-rounded. They are well-read and well-informed, constantly seeking to expand their horizons and learn new things. They are open-minded and curious, always eager to explore new ideas and perspectives.

Furthermore, my ideal person is someone who is humble and modest, never seeking recognition or praise for their accomplishments. They are content to work behind the scenes and let their actions speak for themselves. They are generous and selfless, always looking for ways to help others and make a positive impact on the world.

Overall, my ideal person is someone who embodies the values of kindness, integrity, hard work, and humility. They are a role model and inspiration to those around them, and I strive to emulate their example in my own life. I believe that by following in their footsteps, I can become a better person and make a positive impact on the world around me.

Essay on My Ideal Person in 1000-1500 Words

My Ideal Person

Everyone has someone they look up to, someone they aspire to be like, someone who embodies all the qualities and characteristics they admire. For me, that person is my grandfather. He is my ideal person, the one I strive to emulate in every aspect of my life. His kindness, wisdom, and strength have always inspired me, and I am grateful to have him as a role model.

My grandfather is a man of few words, but his actions speak volumes. He is always there for his family, ready to lend a helping hand or offer words of wisdom when needed. He is the rock of our family, the one we all turn to in times of trouble or uncertainty. His calm demeanor and unwavering support have helped us through some of the toughest times, and I am constantly amazed by his strength and resilience.

One of the things I admire most about my grandfather is his kindness. He is always willing to help others, whether it’s a neighbor in need or a stranger on the street. He never hesitates to lend a hand or offer a kind word, and his generosity knows no bounds. I have seen him go out of his way to help someone in need, even if it means sacrificing his own time or resources. His selflessness and compassion are qualities I strive to embody in my own life, and I am grateful for the example he sets.

In addition to his kindness, my grandfather is also incredibly wise. He has lived a long and full life, and his experiences have taught him valuable lessons that he is always willing to share. Whether it’s advice on relationships, career choices, or personal growth, my grandfather always has a nugget of wisdom to offer. I have learned so much from him over the years, and his guidance has helped shape me into the person I am today. His insight and perspective are invaluable to me, and I am grateful for the opportunity to learn from him.

Despite his age, my grandfather is still incredibly active and engaged in the world around him. He is always learning, always growing, and always striving to be the best version of himself. He takes care of his health, both physically and mentally, and he is always open to new experiences and challenges. His curiosity and thirst for knowledge are inspiring to me, and I hope to maintain that same sense of wonder and enthusiasm as I grow older.

My grandfather is not without his flaws, of course. Like all of us, he has made mistakes and faced challenges in his life. But what sets him apart is his ability to learn from those mistakes and grow from those challenges. He is constantly evolving and improving, always striving to be a better person than he was yesterday. His resilience and determination are qualities I admire greatly, and I am inspired by his ability to overcome adversity with grace and dignity.

In conclusion, my grandfather is my ideal person for a multitude of reasons. His kindness, wisdom, and strength are qualities I aspire to embody in my own life, and I am grateful for the example he sets. He is a constant source of inspiration and guidance for me, and I am lucky to have him in my life. I hope to continue learning from him and growing as a person, following in his footsteps and striving to be the best version of myself. My grandfather is truly an exceptional person, and I am proud to call him my role model.

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Home — Essay Samples — Life — Personal Growth and Development — Discussion on the Question of Who is an Ideal Person

Overview of The Absolute Characteristics of an Ideal Person

• Categories: Being a Good Person Personal Growth and Development Personal Qualities

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Published: Mar 14, 2019

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Qualities of an ideal person (essay), my ideal person.

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My Ideal Personality - Free Essay Examples and Topic Ideas

An ideal personality is confident, empathetic, compassionate, reliable, optimistic, respectful, enthusiastic, open-minded, humble, and adaptable. They are able to communicate effectively, listen actively, and are always willing to learn and grow. They value integrity, kindness, and making a positive impact on others and the world around them. They exhibit leadership qualities, while also being a good team player.

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My Favourite Person/My Favourite Personality [100, 150, 200, 250 Words]

My Favourite Person/My Favourite Personality/The Person I Like Most: Everyone has a person in his /her life whom he/she likes the most. In this article, you are going to learn how to write an essay or a paragraph on My Favourite Person/My Favourite Personality/The Person I Like Most/the person I admire the most. We’ve provided here 4 paragraphs or essays on this topic (100, 150, 200, and 250 Words). So, let’s begin

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My Favourite Person: 100 Words

My most favourite person is Rajiv sir. He teaches us English. He has such a charming and friendly personality. He teaches us with love and care.  I respect him a lot for his excellent command over the subject. To me, he is a friend, philosopher and guide.

He inspires us to speak in English and to take part in sports, cultural activities and social work. He never gets angry when we make mistakes. Due to his teaching my marks in English improved a lot. I like him as a human being and aspire to become like her in future. Our country needs mode ideal teacher like him.

Also Read: My Favourite Teacher Essay

The Person I Like Most: 150 Words

I have come across many good persons in my life of fifteen years. I like some of them and dislike many others. But one person I like in particular. He is my neighbour and my father’s friend. He is Biswanath Chattopadhyaya. He is a school teacher and also a priest. He is a person of amiable disposition. He is also charitable and helpful to the needy. Such qualities definitely impress me.

He is also different from most material-minded people. He is not rich and has to maintain his family with hardship. Yet, he never takes any undue advantage from anyone. He is a selfless man of an honest bearing. I adore him and look upon him as an ideal in the style of living. In fact, I take him as my friend, philosopher and guide.

The Person I Admire the Most: 200 Words

The person I like and admire most in my life is my father. He is a highly educated person. He works as an engineer in a private company. He works so hard to run our family. My father is a very religious person. He reminds me that life is a great gift of God. He leads a healthy lifestyle. He is very punctual and disciplined. He is the backbone of our family.

My father believes in me and shows a sense of confidence in me. Whenever I feel sad or depressed he is the person who motivates me. His love for me and our family members is unconditional. He teaches me to make good use of time. He is not only my father, he is also my friend, teacher and guide. He has always been a source of inspiration for me.

My father is a keen helper of poor kids and people. He donates some of his income to charity. He is an honest and truthful person. He loves to travel a lot. In this free time, he takes us to many beautiful places. I want to be like him when I grow up.

Also Read: My Mother Essay in English 10 Lines

My Favourite Personality My Mother: 250 Words

My mother is God’s best gift to me. My mother is a housewife. She is adorable and caring. She takes care of the likes and dislikes of all the family members. She is my home tutor. She helps me in my study in the morning and evening. When I feel depressed she motivates me. She always inspires me to do better in life. She plays with me whenever she gets time. She is a devotee of God.

She is very hard working. She usually gets up at 5 o’clock in the morning. She prepares delicious dishes for us. She struggles a lot to run our house but never loses her patience. I wonder how she manages everything perfectly. She is diligent and devoted in her duties. She is an inspiration to me.

She is my first teacher, guide, friend and above all my world. She helps the needy and poor people. She provides me the valuable lessons of life. She teaches me the values of discipline and punctuality. She has taught me to help others and respect elders.

Everyone in the family loves her so much. If anyone in the family is ill, she forgets her own hunger and thrust. Such care and love no one in the world can give to me. I never want to lose her.

Read More: 1. Paragraph on My Aim in Life 2. Paragraph on My Daily Routine 3. Paragraph on My Likes and Dislikes

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English Compositions

Short Essay on My Father [100, 200, 400 Words] With PDF

Essays on ‘Father’ is a very common English writing comprehension test for many exams. In this lesson today, I will discuss how to write short essays on one of the most important people of our life: Father. 

Short Essay on Father in 100 Words

My father is a kind and caring person. He is my hero. He works hard and takes care of our family. He always motivates me to study well, work hard and chase my dreams. Whenever I am sick, he stays beside me and takes care of me alongside my mother.

My father is a loving husband to my mother and a filial son to his parents. He helps my mother with the household chores and spends a lot of time with my grandparents. He has never differentiated between a son and a daughter and treats me and my sibling equally. On weekends, he takes us out for picnics, movies, and other fun activities. My father is a role model for me. 

Short Essay on Father in 200 Words

My father is an ideal man. He is kind and caring. He works hard and takes care of our family. He is a strong-willed person who doesn’t fear challenges and never gives up. He motivates me to study well and work hard towards my dreams. My father is my best friend. I share all my worries and problems with him and he always comes up with the best solutions. When I am sad, he comforts me and gives me strength. When I am sick, he stays beside me and takes care of me alongside my mother. 

My father is a loving husband and a filial son. He helps my mother with the household work and shares her load. He values her a lot and never fights with her. He also spends a lot of time with my grandparents and takes them to visit their old friends whenever he has time. He also takes us out for family picnics and outings on weekends.

My father has never differentiated between a son and a daughter and treats both me and my sibling equally. He has set an example for us by being an upright, compassionate and genuine human being. He has taught us to be honest, respectful, and kind. My father is my role model and I love him very much. 

Short Essay on Father in 400 Words

My father is the backbone of our family. He is a kind, caring and compassionate person. He is a teacher by profession and is well-respected by his students and colleagues. He works hard and takes care of our family. My father is strong-willed and optimistic. He is not afraid of facing challenges and doesn’t give up no matter how difficult a situation is.

He motivates me to study well and work hard towards my dreams. My father is also my best friend. He listens to whatever I have to say. I can share all my worries and problems with him and he always comes up with the best solutions. When I am not in a good mood, he comforts me. When I am sick, he takes care of me. Even when he returns home tired, he makes sure to sit with us and have a nice talk. 

My father is a generous person. Being a teacher, he has come across many students who want to learn but do not have the financial capacity to support their studies. For them, he has given lessons for free and even helped them financially.

He is very kind to the poor and needy. He helps them and does as much as possible to support them. My father is a helpful person and is always ready to extend a helping hand whenever our neighbours are in some kind of trouble. I am very proud of him. 

My father is an ideal husband and son. He helps my mother with the household chores and shares the load. He values her, listens to her thoughts, ideas and opinions and never fights with her. They always make sure that our home environment is peaceful and harmonious.

My father is also a filial son who spends a lot of time taking care of his parents. He takes my grandparents out to the park and to visit their old friends whenever he has time. On weekends, he takes us out for picnics, movies and other fun activities. When my sibling or I have exams, my father stays up at night to guide us and help us with our studies. 

My father has never differentiated between a son and a daughter and treats both me and my sibling equally. He has taught us to be upright, honest, respectful and kind. He leads by example and has shown us how to be selfless, brave and patient. My father is my role model and I love him dearly. 

Hopefully, from the session above, you have gotten a holistic idea of how you can write short essays on ‘Father’ in a concise form. In this lesson, I have adopted a simplistic approach and easy language to write these essays so that all kinds of students can understand those without any difficulties. If you still have any doubts regarding this session, kindly let me know through some quick comments. 

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13 Ways to Be the Best Man You Can Be

Masculinity doesn't have to be toxic. here's how to do it right..

Posted August 19, 2024 | Reviewed by Devon Frye

• "Toxic masculinity" was intended to describe rigid and outdated norms of masculinity, not all masculinity.
• Men can still strive to be masculine without being "toxic"; the guidelines below can help.
• Even when you have messed up, try to keep seeing yourself as a “good man behaving badly."

If you are a man—or if you happen to know and love one—you likely know that men have been bombarded for years now with messages about “toxic masculinity.” Though this term has earned a bad rap, it actually was intended to describe traditional and rigid masculinity, or masculinity run amok, and does not mean that toxicity and masculinity are one and the same.

I'm a clinical psychologist who has been treating men for four decades now. During this time, I've developed a profound appreciation for how many of us are absolutely committed to being the best man we can be—even when, because of our various imperfections, we fall short.

Over these years, in my work with men (individually, in couples, and in groups) I have collected pearls of wisdom from men that they, based on their own hard-earned experience, want to pass on to others. I've collected them below. As you read through, focus on the profound satisfaction you have experienced and will continue to experience when you live up to the truly highest standards of masculinity: the responsible and noble kind, not the toxic kind.

Guidelines for Good Men

• Think of the changes that you are being called upon to make as actions of “real men” and “relational heroes.” If it's helpful to you, frame these thoughts with traditionally masculine language like “taking charge,” "becoming powerful,” and being “captain of your own ship.”
• Take personal responsibility. You are not a victim of a bad childhood , life stress , or a nagging girlfriend. Real men don’t make excuses.
• Learn to tolerate distress. Feeling bad is not necessarily a cause for escape, avoidance, or immediate corrective action. Real men can handle negative affect by talking and thinking—and only then taking possible smart actions.
• Be very careful how you describe the events in your relationships. Take responsibility for your moods. Just because you feel injured or self-doubting does not necessarily mean that your partner, for example, tried to make you feel that way.
• Even when you have done something destructive in a relationship, try to see yourself as a “good man behaving badly” or a “good man acting cluelessly.” Build the good man part while you analyze and correct the behaving badly part.
• Keep a running list of times when you are tempted to act badly in a relationship, but instead find a different way. These can serve as nuggets of hope and models to guide you in the future.
• Do whatever you can to let the other key people in your relationships (partners, friends, parents, and children) know that you believe in them and appreciate what they are going through—even if you do not always like their actions.
• Be a responsible leader and bystander. Don’t laugh at or otherwise implicitly approve of other men who mistreat others, particularly women and children.
• If you have children, think of them often. Act in ways that you want them to model throughout their lives.
• When you sense that someone you care about needs emotional support or needs to hear more about you, talk to them. Admit if you feel helpless or don’t know what to say or do.
• Take care of your side of the street, even when you believe that she or he or they are not taking care of hers or his or theirs.
• Take a chance. Try talking to other men about some of your feelings—not just your incessant complaints, but your actual fears, self-doubts, and worries. Tell them about things you have done or said in your relationships that you regret.
• I know this is not easy, but try learning how to validate yourself, instead of needing other people (particularly a romantic partner) to validate you. Find ways to take in this validation that neither leads you to withdraw emotionally nor threatens your primary relationship(s). In other words, remember that it is healthy to need, unhealthy to need excessively, and essential to do nothing which is fundamentally disrespectful to someone you love and need.

Wexler, D. B. (2010). Shame-o-phobia. Psychotherapy Networker, 34 (3), 20-51.

Wexler, D. B. (2004). When good men behave badly: Change your behavior, change your relationship . Oakland, CA: New Harbinger.

Wexler, D. B. (2009). Men in therapy: New approaches for effective treatment . New York: W.W. Norton.

David Wexler, Ph.D., is the author of The Stop Domestic Violence Program published by WW Norton, and executive director of the non-profit Relationship Training Institute.

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APJ Abdul Kalam Essay for Students and Children

500+ words apj abdul kalam essay.

Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam is a famous name in the whole world. He is counted among the greatest scientists of the 21st century. Even more, he becomes the 11th president of India and served his country. He was the most valued person of the country as his contribution as a scientist and as a president is beyond compare. Apart from that, his contribution to the ISRO (Indian Space Research Organization) is remarkable. He headed many projects that contributed to the society also he was the one who helped in the development of Agni and Prithvi missiles. For his involvement in the Nuclear power in India, he was known as “Missile Man of India”. And due to his contribution to the country, the government awarded him with the highest civilian award.

Career and Contribution of APJ Abdul Kalam

APJ Abdul Kalam was born in Tamil Nadu. At that time the financial condition of his family was poor so from an early age he started supporting his family financially. But he never gave up education. Along with supporting his family he continued his studies and completed graduation. Above all, he was a member of the Pokhran nuclear test conducted in 1998.

There is a countless contribution of Dr.APJ Abdul Kalam to the country but he was most famous for his greatest contribution that is the development of missiles that goes by the name Agni and Prithvi.

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Presidency Period

The great missile man becomes the President of India in 2002. During his presidency period, the army and country achieved many milestones that contributed a lot to the nation. He served the nation with an open heart that’s why he was called ‘people’s president’. But at the end of his term period, he was not satisfied with his work that’s why he wanted to be the President a second time but later on forfeited his name.

Post-presidency Period

After leaving the presidential office at the end of his term Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam again turn to his old passion which is teaching students. He worked for many renowned and prestigious institute of India located across the country. Above all, according to his the youth of the country is very talented but need the opportunity to prove their worth that’s why he supported them in their every good deed.

Get the huge list of more than 500 Essay Topics and Ideas

Awards and Honors

During his lifetime Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam was not only awarded and honored by Indian organization and committees but also by many international organizations and committees.

Writings and Character

During his lifetime, Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam wrote many books but his most notable work was ‘India 2020’ which have an action plan to make India a superpower.

Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam was a man of simplicity and integrity. He was so busy at work that he rises up early in the morning and work till late hours after midnight.

Death of APJ Abdul Kalam

He died during delivering a lecture to students in Shillong by sudden cardiac arrest in 2015. He was an outstanding scientist and a pioneer engineer who served his entire life for the nation and died while serving it. The man had the vision to make India a great country. And according to his the youth are the real assets of the country that’s why we should inspire and motivate them.

Essay Topics on Famous Leaders

• Mahatma Gandhi
• APJ Abdul Kalam
• Jawaharlal Nehru
• Swami Vivekananda
• Mother Teresa
• Rabindranath Tagore
• Sardar Vallabhbhai Patel
• Subhash Chandra Bose
• Abraham Lincoln
• Martin Luther King

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My Ideal Man: How Would you Describe an Ideal Man

What is your ideal man? I never know how to answer questions like this one, so I usually just say something along the lines of, “My ideal man is someone who wants a committment,” now, that may not sound like a bad thing– actually, I believe every woman wants that– but for a question like this, it needs depth; it needs detail, which is something I am not very good at doing– I’ll still try. – My ideal man reads novels, not those ragged Playboy, and Penthouse magazines but real books like, “The Stranger” by Albert Camus , “Lolita” by Vladimir Nabokov, or J.

D Salinger’s classic read, “The Catcher in the Rye. ” He enjoys having long conversations, and watching film noir movies with me, he even enjoys those idiotic, nonsense films like “The Hangover,” because it’s so crazy it’s funny. He likes public displays of affection; not caring who sees our love and our infatuation with one another, he loves the way my hand perfectly fits in his, as though I was made just for him. He likes it when I wear his clothes because I look good in them and he knows, I love having a piece of him, he tells me I’m beautiful, even when I look like a big, fat blowfish.

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He lets me wear his cologne because he knows how much I adore his smell, only to buy me my own bottle because he knows it makes me feel closer to him. He loves cuddling, because, who doesn’t love cuddling? He lets me fall asleep first, just so he can watch me sleep and he sings me corny, love songs when I can’t. He’s spontaneous, he loves waking me up at 4 A. M in the morning just to take a drive around the block, even when he knows, I’ll be pissed off in that moment.

He hurts my feelings because he loves and cares about me, and wants me to learn that the truth hurts. He randomly whispers sweet nothings in my ear in the store, he hugs me from behind, when I’m upset and pull away, he pulls me right back and makes me tell him what’s wrong so he can cheer me up, he calls me at 12 AM just say Happy Birthday, he sings me songs and buys me books because I’m not a high maintenance girl, and he knows how much I love those two things.

When I’m sick he comes right over and makes me feel better, even if it means him getting sick; he’s willing to meet my mom and sister and accepts them both. He has a career, and life goals. He wants to get married, and start a family. He doesn’t pressure me into sex because he knows that I’m a virgin, and he accepts that + knows I want to wait for the right person (Even though he already knows he’s the right one). He cooks for me; he buys me flowers for no reason, he says “I love you, ” just because, he cherishes our relationship.

He kisses me in the pouring rain, because he knows that I am a big hopeless romantic. He watches chick flicks with me, even though I hate chick flicks. He stays in bed with me because I’m too lazy to do anything. He takes bubble baths with me after work, he kisses me in the morning despite me having bad morning breath, he likes going to the zoo and fat kittens. He loves my lame, dry sense of humor. He enjoys my company. When I’m mad he leaves and comes back with a lot of chocolate because he knows how much I love chocolate.

He enjoys operas and weird, one-man plays, dancing to old records and looking through old photographs of the past. He accepts me and the girl that I am. He likes my body,he doesn’t care how inexperienced I am. He like my jokes, and my cooking even though I’m not that good. He smiles when things are bad because he knows it’ll make me feel better. He brings out my sexy side because he knows I am a bit of a tomboy. He makes me breakfast in bed because he wants to surprise and get a little something-something for being so amazing.

He likes the aquarium and life; having snowball fights in the middle of the night and pigging out on food that contains too many damn calories. He loves gory, horror movies; he protects me when I’m scared and fights for me when I’m weak. He wipes my tears when I cry, and offers his shoulder to rest my head on. He loves me no matter what; he’s my soulmate, my prince charming, he’s “the one. ” The one I was born for. – That’s my ideal man; that’s what I wish for everyday. He may not exist but it’s okay to dream, right?

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An Ideal Student

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Discuss the theory of ideal type given by Weber

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Essay on My Ideal Family

Students are often asked to write an essay on My Ideal Family in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.

Let’s take a look…

100 Words Essay on My Ideal Family

What is an ideal family.

An ideal family is like a big warm hug. It is a group where everyone loves and supports each other. There are parents, children, and sometimes grandparents, uncles, aunts, and cousins too. In a perfect family, everyone listens and shares their thoughts and feelings.

Love and Support

In my dream family, love is the biggest rule. Parents would cheer for their kids at games and help with homework. Brothers and sisters would play together nicely. No one would feel alone because someone would always be there to help.

Fun Together

Families that have fun stay together. We would play games, go on trips, and laugh a lot. Even chores would be fun because we would turn them into games. Every day would have moments of joy.

Learning and Growing

Families should learn together. Parents would teach kids good manners and how to be kind. Mistakes are okay because they help us grow. When someone messes up, we would talk about it and learn, not get angry.

250 Words Essay on My Ideal Family

An ideal family is like a big warm hug. It is a group of people who care for each other deeply. They may be parents, children, grandparents, or even close friends who feel like family. In my dream family, everyone loves and supports one another.

Love and Respect

In my perfect family, love is the biggest rule. Everyone treats each other with kindness and respect. Parents listen to their children, and children listen to their parents. No one is too busy to spend time with one another or to share a smile.

Spending Time Together

Time together is like a special glue in my ideal family. We would eat meals together, play games, and talk about our days. It’s not about having a lot of money to do big things; it’s about laughing and making memories in everyday moments.

My dream family is also about learning from each other. Parents teach children right from wrong and help with school work. Children teach parents to be patient and to enjoy simple things. Everyone makes mistakes, but in my ideal family, mistakes are chances to learn, not reasons to be upset.

Supporting Each Other

Hard times come to all families. In my ideal family, when someone is sad or has a problem, the rest are there to help. We would cheer each other on, whether it’s for a big game or a small test at school.

500 Words Essay on My Ideal Family

Introduction to my ideal family.

When I think of my ideal family, I picture a group of people who love and care for each other. A family is like a team where everyone plays a part in making life happy and full of joy. In my perfect family, there would be parents, children, and maybe a few pets, all living together in a cozy home.

Parents Who Support and Love

In the family I dream of, parents are kind and understanding. They would spend time with their children, helping with homework and playing games. They would listen to their children’s stories and problems with a loving heart. It’s important that parents encourage their kids to do their best in everything, whether it’s in school, sports, or just being a good person.

Children Who Respect and Help

Quality time together.

Spending time together is what makes a family strong. In my perfect family, we would eat meals together and talk about our day. We would also have special family days where we go out to the park, visit museums, or have a picnic. These moments are when memories are made, and they help everyone feel loved and important.

Communication Is Key

Talking and listening to each other is very important in a family. When someone has a problem, they should feel safe to talk about it. In my ideal family, everyone would be patient and listen carefully. By sharing our thoughts and feelings, we can understand each other better and solve problems together.

A Home Full of Laughter

Learning and growing together.

Families are not just about being happy all the time. They are also about learning from mistakes and growing stronger. In my ideal family, we would all help each other to learn new things, whether it’s riding a bike or cooking a meal. When someone makes a mistake, we would be kind and help them do better next time.

My ideal family might sound like a dream, but it’s something to aim for. It’s about love, support, respect, and having fun together. It’s a family where everyone works together to make life as happy as it can be. In this family, no matter what happens outside, inside our home, there’s a warm and loving place for everyone.

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