how do you write a bat mitzvah speech

Jewish Journal

Connect. inform. inspire., the easy way to write your speech for a bar/bat mitzvah.

• By Jewish Journal
• Published December 18, 2013

Most people are happier being reaudited by a fiber-deficient IRS agent than speaking in public. They’re even more fartutst about writing their own speeches. 

Sometimes, we have to do both. 

It’s easy for me. I’ve been a speechwriter all my life. But you can do it, too, anxiety-free, as long as you follow a few rules. In fact, if you’ve been asked to speak at someone’s bar or bat mitzvah, you may even find the process of writing a speech quite simple and fun. (Notice I said process.)

Where do you start? 

1. Prepare early . The minute the date is set and you know you’ll have a speaking part in the celebration, start thinking about what you might say. That gives you a year. Don’t wait until it’s 8:52 on Saturday morning, and the bar mitzvah begins in eight minutes. At that point, it’s almost too late for even a professional to help you.

2. Find a theme for your speech . There is a portion of the Torah read at every bar or bat mitzvah. It corresponds to that particular week and is called a parasha . It’s easy to look it up, along with its modern meaning. Maybe the theme is trust. Maybe bravery. Overcoming hardship. Tie that in with your special feelings for the child being celebrated. Add to it by sharing some of the best memories of that young person. “I remember the scooter when …” 

You could also refer to the honoree’s Hebrew name, connecting it to the biblical character with the same moniker, if there is one. However, if the child who is coming of age is named Boo Boo or Bugsy, you might have to be a little creative.

Your speech might also discuss the Jewish values and traditions you observe together. Lighting the Shabbat candles is one. Saying Kiddush. Celebrating Chanukah. That’s a classic approach. To be more contemporary, you could talk about how you and the bat mitzvah girl go rippin’ along the Pacific Coast Highway on your Harley every Sunday, or how you and the bar mitzvah boy have watched every episode of “Breaking Bad” over and over together, and are in the same 12-step program to stop. 

3. Don’t be intimidated . You’re not addressing Congress or the Supreme Court. This isn’t your Harvard entrance essay. It’s a private, family gathering. You’re not Jimmy Fallon and you won’t be appearing on national TV. You probably won’t even be on YouTube, unless the challah somehow starts dancing the lambada. It’s just you, your extended family and your friends. Everybody will be cheering for you. 

4. Make lists. Before trying to write sentences for my speeches, I make lists. Then my lists make lists. I move ideas around and add new ones. As a writer, I know better than to sit down at my desk, thinking I’ll nail something perfectly in the first draft. In reality, as ideas pop into my head, I scribble them on anything I can find, including the upholstery in my car. 

And rather than feel the panic of having to sit there and finish this speech tonight tonight tonight , I make an appointment with myself to write for five minutes a day on weekdays. Not everybody has a couple of hours each morning, but we all have five minutes — no skipping. I mark the appointment with me in my day planner. And even if the page is blank when my five minutes are up, I check off that time anyway. I’ve kept my commitment. Maybe tomorrow something good will appear during my warm-up session. Eventually, it always does. 

When I get a draft — no matter how scattered it is, I congratulate myself and haul out the candy corn. Rewards for good work go a long way. 

5. Hook ’em with a great opening. You have a captive audience. Don’t lose them by starting with recycled language. You’re not a cliché. Your speech at a bar or bat mitzvah shouldn’t be one, either.

In your opening sentence, be clever. Maybe a little funny, too. If you’re speaking at a reception, instead of simply thanking the chefs who brought hors d’oeuvres , how about, “The CIA confirms that Aunt Puddy, Auntie Lacy and Great Aunt Yakabovsky caught the carp, the whitefish and the pike themselves. Now that’s gefilte fish. And nobody named Manischewitz was involved.”

6. How long should I speak? Less is more. Keep it short. If you’re the only speaker, five minutes. If you’re sharing the time-slot, three. You want to say what’s in your heart, leave your fingerprint in the room, congratulate the honoree and his or her family, then sit down.

7. How do I end my speech? “ Mazel tov! ” and “ L’chaim !” get ’em every time.

Molly-Ann Leikin is an executive speechwriter and Emmy nominee living in Santa Monica. Her Web site is anythingwithwords.com .

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How To Write a Bat Mitzvah Speech for Friends (20 Tips)

Being asked to give a Bat Mitzvah speech is a great honor. It’s an opportunity to share your connection to the Bat Mitzvah girl and her family.

Here’s how to write a Bat Mitzvah speech for friends:

To Write a Bat Mitzvah speech for friends, brainstorm a list of traits and stories about the Bat Mitzvah girl. Select 5-10 comments and place them in a simple outline. Start a Bat Mitzvah speech by introducing the young lady, then share a few stories, and close with an emotional message.

In this article, you’ll learn everything you need to know about how to write Bat Mitzvah speeches for friends.

What Is a Bat Mitzvah Speech?

Table of Contents

A Bat Mitzvah speech is a speech given by or for a Jewish girl during her Bat Mitzvah ceremony. The speech is usually about the girl’s journey to becoming a Bat Mitzvah, and her thoughts on what it means to be a Jewish woman.

The Bat Mitzvah ceremony is an important milestone in a Jewish girl’s life when she reaches the age of 12.

The Bat Mitzvah speech is often seen as a way for the girl to share her thoughts and feelings about becoming a Jewish woman. The speech can be serious or lighthearted, but it should always be respectful.

A Bat Mitzvah speech is typically delivered to the guests at the Bat Mitzvah ceremony, and it is often followed by a question and answer session.

The speech can also be given to the community at large, such as at a synagogue or Jewish community center.

A Bat Mitzvah speech should be well-thought-out and prepared in advance. It is important to remember that the audience will include people of all ages, so the speech should be appropriate for all listeners.

When giving a Bat Mitzvah speech, it is important to be sincere and honest.

The speech should be from the heart, and it should reflect the girl’s true feelings about becoming a Bat Mitzvah.

A Bat Mitzvah speech can be a wonderful opportunity to share the joy of becoming a Bat Mitzvah with family and friends. It can also be a time to reflect on what it means to be a Jewish woman and to start thinking about the future.

20 Best Tips For Writing Bat Mitzvah Speeches for Friends

As someone who has written many speeches, including Bat Mitzvah speeches for friends, here are my 20 best tips.

1) Keep It Personal

When you’re writing a speech for a friend’s Bat Mitzvah, it’s important to keep the tone personal.

This is your opportunity to share your memories and experiences with the guest of honor, so make sure your speech reflects your personal relationship with the guest of honor.

2) Be Sincere

Sincere speeches are always the best kind, so make sure your words come from the heart.

Your friend will appreciate hearing how much you care about her, and your sincerity will be evident in your words.

3) Be Positive

It’s important to focus on the positive when you’re giving a speech at a Bat Mitzvah.

This is a happy occasion, so be sure to keep your words and stories positive and uplifting. This is not the time for cruel jokes, teasing, or sarcastic jabs at the Bat Mitzvah girl’s expense.

4) Make It Unique

Your friend’s Bat Mitzvah is a once-in-a-lifetime event, so make sure your speech is just as special.

Share a personal story or memory that will make the day even more unforgettable. Work hard on your speech, practice, and think of unique ways to celebrate your friend.

5) Keep It Short

Although you may be tempted to write a long speech, it’s important to keep it concise. Remember that you’ll be sharing the spotlight with other speakers, so try to keep your remarks brief.

As a rule of thumb, shoot for a 3-5 minute Bat Mitzvah speech.

6. Use Humor Sparingly

A little bit of humor can go a long way, but be careful not to overdo it. You don’t want your speech to come across as cheesy or insincere.

If you do include humor, use it sparingly.

Focus on complementary and meaningful remarks and stories that focus on the Bat Mitzvah girl.

7) Avoid Offensive Material

This is a day to celebrate, so avoid anything that might be offensive to your friend or her guests. Stick to safe topics that everyone can enjoy.

If you wonder if something may be offensive, either check with the Bat Mitzvah girl or leave the material out.

The last thing you want to do is unintentionally ruin your friend’s special day.

8) Practice Beforehand

When it comes to speeches, practice makes perfect.

Take some time to rehearse your speech beforehand so you can deliver it with confidence on the big day. Practicing will also allow you to hear how certain word combinations, sentences, and stories sound out loud.

Not everything translates from the written page to the spoken word.

In this way, practicing can help you edit and revise your Bat Mitzvah speech so that it is polished and shines.

9) Speak Slowly

It can be easy to get nervous when you’re speaking in front of a large group, but try to speak slowly and deliberately.

This will help you remain calm and focus on your words.

Speaking slowly when you practice can also help you know which words to keep in your speech and which ones you can cut or change.

10) Use a Logical Speech Structure

When planning and writing your Bat Mitzvah speech for friends, remember to use a logical speech structure.

That usually means:

• Short introduction
• Body with a few main points and stories
• Short conclusion

You can also use the time to structure your speech.

For example, you might tell a story that happened 3 years ago, then one that occurred 2 years ago, and finally a story that happened just last month.

11) Use Proper Grammar

Although you may be speaking slightly off the cuff, it’s important to use proper grammar.

This will show that you’re taking the occasion seriously and help you deliver your words effectively. As much as possible, use standard grammar so that it doesn’t distract from your message.

12. Mix in Spirituality

Since the Bat Mitzvah celebration is closely tied to religion and spirituality, don’t be afraid to mention a scriptural concept or quote the Torah.

I probably wouldn’t quote more than one or two verses, but blending in religion can enhance almost any speech.

13) Tell Stories

When giving a Bat Mitzvah speech, it is important to focus on stories.

This is because stories help to personalize the speech and make it more meaningful for both the Bat Mitzvah girl and her guests. When selecting stories to share, choose those that are memorable and have a moral lesson or message.

The stories can be about anything from the time the Bat Mitzvah girl stood up for a friend to a time she made a mistake and learned from it.

By sharing these stories, you will not only entertain the guests but also offer them a glimpse into the Bat Mitzvah girl’s life and values.

14) Paint a Picture

Your words should paint a picture in your listener’s mind.

Use descriptive language to bring your stories and examples to life. After all, this is a once-in-a-lifetime event, and you want the speech to be memorable.

One way to do this is to use vivid adjectives and descriptors.

For example, instead of simply saying that your friend is “smart,” you could say that she is “whip-smart” or “incredibly intelligent.” Or, instead of calling her “courageous,” you could say that she is “fearless” or “brave.”

By painting pictures with your words, you can help to create a lasting impression that will be sure to inform and entertain your audience.

15) Be Prepared for Questions

If you’re asked to give a speech at a Bat Mitzvah, be prepared for questions from the audience.

A question and answer period is not unusual at a Bat Mitzvah. Being prepared shows that you’re knowledgeable about your friend and the customary process for this special celebration.

16) Know Your Audience

When you’re writing a Bat Mitzvah speech, it’s important to keep your audience in mind.

Be sure to tailor your remarks to the age group and interests of the guests. Most importantly, tailor your speech to the personality, style, and preferences of the Bat Mitzvah girl.

17) Connect With Your Listeners

The best way to connect with your audience is to find common ground.

Share an experience or story that everyone can relate to (such as the anxiety and excitement building up to the Bat Mitzvah party). And then build on that common ground by taking your listeners on an emotional journey that culminates in a series of praise for your friend.

18) Use Concrete Examples

When you’re making a point in your speech, be sure to use concrete examples.

For example, you could talk about the time she went out of her way to help you when you were feeling down, or the time she made you laugh when you needed it most. By sharing these kinds of stories, you’ll not only give the audience a sense of who your friend is, but you’ll also show them why she means so much to you.

This will help your listener understand and remember your words. Concrete examples are more engaging and stick in our minds longer than vague anecdotes.

19) Address the Parents

Although your speech is primarily for the Bat Mitzvah girl, it’s important to address her parents as well.

Thank them for their support and express your best wishes for the future. This shows respect and appreciation for their contribution to your amazing friend.

20) End On a High Note

When you’re wrapping up your speech, be sure to end on a positive note.

This will leave your audience with a good feeling and make your friend’s special day feel even more optimistic and memorable for everyone involved.

Here is a good video about how to write a Bat Mitzvah speech for friends:

How Do You Write a Good Bat Mitzvah Speech for Friends?

It can be difficult to write a good bat mitzvah speech for friends because you want to make sure that it is both meaningful and fun.

There are a few things to keep in mind when writing a Bat Mitzvah speech for friends.

• First, it is important to remember that this is a formal occasion. As such, your speech should be respectful and appropriate.
• Second, the focus of your speech should be on the Bat Mitzvah girl – her accomplishments, her hopes and dreams for the future, and how proud you are of her.
• Third, consider what your friend’s interests are. This will help you decide what kind of tone to take with your speech.
• Fourth, think about what you want to say. You may want to share a memory of your friend or offer some words of wisdom for her future.

If your friend is more serious, you may want to focus on the importance of this milestone in her life. If she is more fun-loving, you may want to add some humor to your speech.

With these things in mind, you are ready to start writing your Bat Mitzvah speech for friends.

Be sure to take your time and write from the heart. Your words will be sure to touch the hearts of all who hear them.

How Do You Start a Bat Mitzvah Speech for a Friend?

Here are some tips on how to start your Bat Mitzvah speech.

First, you will want to introduce yourself. Say who you are and how you know the bat mitzvah girl. This will help the audience to connect with you and your relationship with the honoree.

Next, take a moment to congratulate the bat mitzvah girl on this milestone achievement.

Let her know how proud you are of her and all that she has accomplished.

Now is the time to share a personal story or memory about the bat mitzvah girl. This could be something funny, heartwarming, or inspirational. Whatever story you choose to share, make sure it is appropriate for the occasion.

How Do You End a Bat Mitzvah Speech for a Friend?

Assuming you want to give a nice speech at your friend’s Bat Mitzvah, there are a few ways to end it.

You could simply say something like, “I wish you all the best in your future endeavors.” This is a classic way to end any speech, and it applies perfectly to a Bat Mitzvah speech.

Alternatively, you could end on a more personal note.

For example, you might say something like, “I know you’re going to do great things in your life, and I can’t wait to see all that you accomplish.”

This is a great way to show your support for your friend and her future.

Finally, you could end with a quote. This could be a quote about friendship, life, or anything else that you think is appropriate. Just make sure that the quote is meaningful and memorable.

Bat Mitzvah Speech for Friends Example

Let’s look at an example Bat Mitzvah speech for friends.

Hello everyone. I would like to start by thanking everyone for coming to the Bat Mitzvah celebration. I am so honored to be here today to celebrate my best friend’s Bat Mitzvah. This is truly a milestone moment in her life, and I am so happy to be sharing it with her. It feels like only yesterday we were in school together, and now she’s a young woman. My friend has always been so special to me, and I know she’ll continue to grow into an amazing adult. I remember one time, we were in school and you had to give a presentation in front of the whole class. You were so nervous, but you did it anyway and you did an amazing job. That’s the kind of courage and strength you need to have to become a bat mitzvah. I have known her since we were both just little girls, and she has always been one of the kindest, sweetest people I know. She is always looking out for others and always ready to lend a helping hand. She is someone who truly cares about others, and I know that she will continue to make a difference in the world. This past year has been a tough one for all of us, but she has continued to be a shining light in my life. She is always there for a hug or a chat when I need it, and I know she will continue to be a great friend. I am so proud of you and everything you have accomplished. I know that you will continue to make your mark on the world and make a difference in the lives of those around you. I wish you all the best in everything you do, and I know that you will continue to make us all proud. In the end, I want to say congratulations again to my friend on this special day. I know that she’ll continue to accomplish great things in her life. I have known her for many years, and I know that she has a bright future ahead of her. Thank you all for listening.

What Not To Include In a Bat Mitzvah Speech?

Here are a few things you should not include in a Bat Mitzvah speech for your friend:

• Avoid using inside jokes that only the family will understand – keep your speech relatable to everyone in the room.
• Don’t make fun of anyone in the room, including the Bat Mitzvah girl – it’s not appropriate and people will feel uncomfortable.
• Resist the urge to get sentimental and cry – it’s okay to get choked up, but try to keep your emotions in check so that you can finish your speech.
• Don’t make any promises you can’t keep – for example, don’t say you’ll be there for the bat mitzvah girl every step of her life if you know you won’t be able to fulfill that commitment.
• Don’t say anything you wouldn’t want the Bat Mitzvah girl to hear – remember, she’s going to be listening to your speech!
• Don’t use offensive language – even if you’re just joking around, it’s not appropriate for a Bat Mitzvah speech.
• Don’t wing it – prepare your speech in advance so you don’t forget anything important.
• Most importantly, don’t forget to say congratulations and Mazel Tov to the bat mitzvah girl! She’s accomplished a lot and deserves your best wishes.

Final Thoughts: How To Write a Bat Mitzvah Speech for Friends

When it comes to giving a Bat Mitzvah speech for friends, the key is to focus on what makes your friend special.

If you need help writing your speech, you might consider using an AI writer like Jasper or Copymatic .

Related posts:

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• H-Supertools Ai Writer Ultimate Guide (23 Quick Answers)
• How To Overcome Writer’s Block (20 Tricks That Really Work)
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What to write in a bar mitzvah or bat mitzvah card.

So you’ve got a bar mitzvah card or bat mitzvah card you need to sign? Mazel tov! Not only are these occasions inspiring to see and fun to take part in—they’re also a very big deal in the life of a person of the Jewish faith. When you write a personal message in your card to the bar or bat mitzvah, you’re adding to the joy and significance of their big day.

If you’re stumped on what to write in a bar/bat mitzvah card, this article has writing tips and ideas to get you going.

Inspired? Create and share by tagging @HallmarkStores .

But first, here’s a super-quick primer on the celebrations that might help, too:

Bar/bat mitzvah literally translates as “son/daughter of the commandments.” This rite marks their entry as adults into their faith community. These students of the faith put in a lot of hard work preparing for a special Shabbat service at their synagogue, in which they read aloud from the Torah and sometimes lead prayers or chants, too. Traditionally, bar mitzvahs are 13 years old and bat mitzvahs are either 12 or 13. It’s becoming more common for adults to become bar/bat mitzvahs, too, but no matter what the age of your recipient, they will appreciate your recognition and the time and thought you put into giving them a card.

From words of pride to blessings to congratulations, there are all kinds of messages that work well in bar/bat mitzvah cards. And it’s fine to write a little or a lot, depending on how well you know the bar/bat mitzvah themselves. The message ideas below are divided by theme, but you can mix and match to come up with the words that feel just right for you to send.

• Mazel Tov Congratulations
• Pride and Compliments
• Faith and Tradition
• Funny Messages
• Warm Closings

Mazel Tov Congratulations  

Literally translated, the Yiddish phrase “mazel tov” means something closer to “good luck,” but it’s more commonly used to congratulate someone. A short mazel tov message by itself works well for a recipient you don’t know as well, but you could also use it to round out a longer message.

• “Mazel tov, Bar Mitzvah!”
• “Best wishes and mazel tov to you as you celebrate your bat mitzvah!”
• “Congratulations and mazel tov, Bar Mitzvah! (I’m so proud of you, I had to say both.)”
• “This day is so meaningful, and you’ve worked so hard for it. Mazel tov.”
• “Congratulations on what you’ve achieved and on stepping into your faith community as an adult today.”
• “Congratulations! Your bat mitzvah marks a huge accomplishment—but it’s only the beginning of all a young woman like you is going to achieve.”
• “Mazel tov! What a happy and unforgettable day this is for you and for all of us who’ve had the joy of watching you grow to be a man.”

Helpful tip: Even for those of us who don’t come from a Jewish faith tradition, “mazel tov” is one in-culture phrase that’s easy to say or write without feeling awkward or like we’re trying too hard. But go with your gut—if “congratulations” feels more you, then go with that.

Wishes  

A heartfelt wish is another great thing to write in a bar/bat mitzah card. You could make it a wish for the big day itself or go bigger and make a hopeful wish for the bar/bat mitzvah’s future.

• “Wishing you so much happiness as you celebrate your bat mitzvah!”
• “May the wisdom you’ve learned studying for your bar mitzvah guide you all your days.”
• “We wish you an unforgettable bar mitzvah celebration and all the best in the exciting years ahead of you.”
• “Love, blessings and best wishes to you, Bat Mitzvah!”
• “Hoping your bar mitzvah day is a proud and happy one for you!”
• “Mazel tov, Bat Mitzvah. May you continue to grow in wisdom and faith from this day on.”
• “Wishing you a great time celebrating your bar mitzvah…I hope it’s a day you’ll always look back on with pride and happiness.”

Helpful tip: First timer? If so, you could make an added connection by mentioning that in what you write: “Your bar mitzvah is the first one I’ve been lucky enough to be invited to. It’s such an honor to be a part of it. Thanks for including me in your big day!”

Pride and Compliments  

One does not become a bar/bat mitzvah simply by showing up on the big day. There is diligent study and preparation involved, and that’s worthy of a callout. You might choose to highlight all the hard work and schvitzing (sweating) with a message of pride or with a compliment for the bar/bat mitzvah.

• “So proud of the dedicated way you’ve prepared for this day. Great job—and mazel tov!”
• “We were always proud of the girl you were, and we’re even prouder of the woman you become today.”
• “No one could have worked harder or done more to deserve this day. Way to show what you’re made of!”
• “I hope you feel proud of yourself as you wear the tallit and read from the Torah. And I hope you feel how proud you’ve made everyone around you, too.”
• “A bar mitzvah is more than a party. It’s an important step in your faith and a big accomplishment, too. So mazel tov and hats off to you!”
• “It’s so much fun to congratulate a bat mitzvah as smart and talented as you! Celebrating you today and looking forward to watching your life unfold in amazing ways.”
• “If ever a bar mitzvah deserved a great party, it’s you! Enjoy it! You’ve earned it!”
• “It’s no easy thing to stand up and be the center of attention on your bat mitzvah day, but we know how hard you’ve worked, and we know you’re going to do yourself and your family proud.”

Helpful tip: If it’s helpful, you could think of a bar/bat mitzvah as a little like a graduation. Of course, a bar/bat mitzvah has a spiritual significance that graduations don’t have. However, the sense of a worthy goal achieved, of pride in hard work and of a young person moving on to a new stage in their life—all these things hold true for both occasions.

Faith and Tradition  

Celebrating the faith and deep-rooted traditional aspects of a bar/bat mitzvah is another great way to go with your message. And luckily, you don’t have to have a rabbi’s understanding of the occasion to write something that’s both honoring and meaningful.

• “Here’s to you, Bat Mitzvah—shining bright today and carrying the light of faith into tomorrow.”
• “What a joy it is to welcome a young man like you to our community of faith. Mazel tov.”
• “Warmest congratulations on your bar mitzvah. It’s inspiring to think of you taking your place in your faith community and carrying on such an enduring tradition.”
• “Mazel tov, Bat Mitzvah. God bless you and guide you today and always.”
• “Today you follow in the footsteps of so many generations who came before you…and step into a future made brighter by your love for your faith, your family and your community.”
• “Blessings on you as you celebrate your bat mitzvah.”
• “Hoping you learned lessons that will always stay with you as you studied and prepared for your bar mitzvah. May the Torah’s teachings continue to guide you and bring you happiness throughout your life.”
• “Congratulations on your bat mitzvah! What a wonderful way to honor your rich heritage and celebrate your faith.”

Helpful tip: As part of the occasion, a bar/bat mitzvah will sometimes declare a cause that they plan to advocate for. It’s one way of embracing their new adult status and doing some real good with it. It’s a very cool thing—and it may inspire some new thoughts for you as you think about what you want to write.

Funny Messages  

Even though a bar/bat mitzvah is a serious occasion, there’s still room for a little good-natured humor—especially if you know the bar/bat mitzvah well and have a good sense of what they’d find funny. Money is a customary gift for a bar/bat mitzvah, so it’s an especially easy way to infuse a little humor into your written message.

• “Today you begin your journey into womanhood…but somehow you still have a 10 p.m. curfew. Oh well. One step at a time, right?”
• “Happy bar mitzvah! Have the most fun a guy can have with all your family right there watching your every move.”
• With money/gift card enclosed: “First of all, so proud of you! Second—and more importantly—here’s a little something to show you just how proud.”
• With money/gift card enclosed: “Hope the happy bat mitzvah glow just lasts and lasts. (This little gift is meant to help with that!)”
• With money/gift card enclosed: “For all that extra wisdom you’ve stored away in your heart…here’s a little extra cash for your pocket. Mazel tov!”
• “There’s never, ever been a bar mitzvah quite like you! (That’s supposed to be a compliment, in case you couldn’t tell.)”
• “Okay, so great new dress, cute shoes, awesome party…I’m a little jealous that I didn’t get all this when I was 13. Okay, a LOT jealous. But I’m still so happy for you! Mazel tov!”

Helpful tip: Joking about gifts and celebrating is one thing. Summoning up offensive stereotypes or poking fun at Jewish culture is another—and should absolutely be avoided. When in doubt, skip the funny and keep your message straightforward.

Warm Closings  

A warm closing before your signature provides a nice finishing touch for your bar/bat mitzvah message. Choose one of ours or come up with one of your own.

• Congratulations,
• Warmest congratulations,
• Lots of love,
• Love always,
• Much love to you,
• All my/our love,
• All the best,
• Proud of you,
• With pride and best wishes,
• greeting card messages

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The Journey

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Guidelines for Bar/Bat Mitzvah Speeches

by Donna Jacobs Sife

A friend of mine living in Washington told me a story. When her son’s bar mitzvah was approaching one of her friend’s asked her “What’s your theme?” My friend thought for a moment and then responded, “Judaism”.

Thankfully, we are mostly spared the spectacle of extravaganzas here in Australia. But I think some of us still struggle with ambivalence at the thought of celebrating ‘Judaism’ at our child’s bar mitzvah reception.

One way of bringing heart and spirit to the occasion is through the speeches. It may be the only time the family can link the events in synagogue with the party that follows; the only moment in the whole proceedings that the family and guests can reconsider what they are doing, why they are there, and who they are honouring.

What follows are some ideas to consider when writing such a speech. It is specifically written for the parents of the bar mitzvah child, but may serve to guide anyone who intends to speak on the day.

• Share your own experience of becoming bar mitzvah. What it meant to you and your parents, what you did, how you celebrated. A meaningful speech can only come from the heart and therefore if you felt ambivalent when you became bar mitzvah, or didn’t have one, or it was not meaningful, then this is what you will say. And if, with reflection you can see what was missing, or what you would have liked, or how satisfied you felt about your own child’s bar mitzvah — then it is truth that is speaking and the heart is touched.

• Remember an anecdote that encapsulates the essential nature of your child. What are his/her qualities, what do you enjoy most about him/her? What do you see developing? What gives you pride? Do any of these qualities remind you of one of our forefathers or foremothers? Does he have the patience of Jacob? The depth of Moses? The kindness of Abraham? Or does she show astuteness and intuition like Rebecca, wisdom like Sarah?

• How did you feel when you heard him/her practicing and studying? What memories came back? Did you consider the parashah together? What insights, emotions, thoughts did you have coming into contact with the Torah like that?

• Try to find a connection with the portion of the Torah that was read. Through metaphor, symbol, imagery – sometimes it can be very meaningful to consider the portion with regards to your child, or your family history, or some other aspect of your lives.

• What Jewish values do you hold dear? Or if you feel more comfortable thinking of them as universal values, say that. What do you value in the world that you would like your child to also uphold? When you look at your child, how do you want him/her to see the world and be within it

• What does Judaism mean to you? Is it family, a way of life, a value system, a proud history? Talk about your own relationship with Judaism. This is a sacred Jewish passage, where a parent is handing his son or daughter to responsibility and adulthood. Let there be an inheritance of experience, ideas, reflection and pride.

• Include Israel, and mitzvot. Buy trees in Israel, organise beforehand to deliver leftover food to a shelter nearby — make your simcha bigger by asking your guests to give to a charity chosen by the bar mitzvah child, or bringing food for Mazon. This is the essential nature of a Jewish celebration.

• Consider using quotes from Jewish thinkers and scholars throughout the ages, or stories from particularly Chassidic sources (plenty on the web) that encapsualate what it is you wish to impart to the bar mitzvah child.

How rare and wonderful to stand before our family, friends and community to state what Judaism means to us!

Donna Jacobs Sife is a Sydney writer.

THE DELIVERY

by Pamela Lemberg

Some two years before its actual date, the average Jewish mother begins her frenetic preparations for her child’s bar or bat mitzvah.

Whereas the organisation of a successful party can be seen primarily as an administrative task, the writing of an effective bar mitzvah speech requires skills that many people find daunting. But the formula is really quite simple: begin at the present, the child that you see standing before you; return to the past, the journey that has taken the child from his/her birth to the here and now; and come back to the present and the future, the emotions of this milestone event and the appreciation of family and friends.

In order to create an easy, flowing presentation, the speech-maker should feel relaxed and confident. Too often the speeches are left to the last moment, are hastily written and so plainly under-rehearsed. Confidence can only come from adequate preparation, well in advance, and then much practice. And size is important too, five to ten minutes being the optimum length without becoming repetitive or boring.

Humour is a vital ingredient in the recipe for the success of a speech — not in the form of jokes, but more in the recounting of original anecdotes that create a picture of the child. Over-sentimentality should be avoided, as should the over-praising of the child in question.

A list of academic and sporting achievements while being a source of great pride for the parents, may not necessarily be of great interest to guests.

Unless one has a prodigious memory or is a skilled orator, it is safer to have a written, large-type transcript of the speech for reference.

However, if the presenter has rehearsed sufficiently and is comfortable with their speech, they may only need to glance at the notes from time to time.

Familiarity with the words will enable the speaker to look up and make eye contact with their audience, thus creating a bond.

Not having a transcript to follow creates the danger of drifting off at a tangent and losing flow and direction. And a smooth flow is paramount — the speech should run seamlessly from one topic to the next in a natural sequence.

When the bar or bat mitzvah child makes the speech, care should be taken to avoid the clichés that seem to be in vogue.

Some speeches are so predictable that you would be hard put to know whose function you were attending. For example: “To my mum, thank you for being there for me”. (Well, where else would a Jewish mother be?) “To my dad, thank you for shlepping me everywhere”. (What’s a Mercedes for?). Or, “Thanks to my grandma, who makes the best chicken soup and kneidlach” (Doesn’t that go without saying?).

The ideal bar or bat mitzvah speech should be informative, entertaining, not too long and just a little sentimental. It should make you laugh and it should make you cry — preferably at the same time. It should make you feel that you know the child well — and are glad to. And, above all, it should make every guest remember the event because of the quality of the speeches.

Pamela Lemberg is a Sydney-based speech writer and author of short stories and poetry.

These articles republished with thanks to the Australian Jewish News.

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Speechworks

Here’s a template for a parent’s bar/bat mitzvah speech.

I wrote this post before I attended my 13-year-old cousin’s bat mitzvah, the traditional service marking a Jewish child’s passage into adulthood. A highlight of many bat/bar mitzvah services is the short blessing or speech from the parents.

The best of these speeches are touching and often a little funny. They have stories that help the congregation get to know the young man or woman who has been studying hard to lead the congregation through that morning’s a Shabbat service.

Along with my wife, I’ve written and delivered three of these two-minute b’nai mitzvah blessings. So if you’re not sure what to say, or if you’re a little nervous, here is our template that you can use to honor your young adult.

Opening Your Speech

Start by telling your daughter how proud you are. Then tell her and the congregation some of the personality traits about her that you most admire.

“[Insert first name of your child]. Your [mother/father] and I are so proud of how well you did today, leading the congregation in prayer this morning. But more than that, we’re proud of the wonderful young man/woman you’ve become.”

“You’re [insert the positive qualities that you admire about your child. For example you might say “You’re sweet, and kind and responsible.” Or “You’re friendly and extremely outgoing!” Or “You’re hard working and generous with your time!” or “You’re not just a wonderful pitcher for the baseball team. You’re warm and caring older brother.”]

Stories are the Best

Next, tell two or three short stories that illustrate your child’s wonderful qualities. Stories are what make these blessings great and memorable.

[I said that you are outgoing and friendly. I remember when we moved to Atlanta from New York. You were sad leaving behind your friends. But you didn’t waste time finding new friends. As soon as we settled into our neighborhood, you found the neighborhood directory and started calling up kids your age in the neighborhood. You said ‘Hi, I’m Elliott. I’m new to the neighborhood. Would you like to play sometime?’” You have to be the first child in history to cold call for friends. The funny thing is that it worked. Several of those friends are here today.”]

[I also said that you were hard working. I remember your first dance recital. You were up in front of a lot of people and you fell down. It was a little embarrassing and you told me so. But you didn’t get frustrated. Rather on the way home you just said to me ‘Dad, I think I need to practice more.’ And that evening, I heard you in the basement, practicing. Now you’re one of the best dancers on the dance team and you’re teaching us moves that we’ve never seen. You’ve even started teaching dance to younger kids at the JCC. Of course you bring that same determination to your studies and to your preparation for this day.]

If you want to add a third story, knock yourself out. But remember that no one wants to hear a long speech. When the Rabbi says “Keep it to two minutes,” he or she really wants it short. Remember, this is not your day. It’s your son or daughter’s day.

End by Going for the Heartstrings

Finish with a sincere pronouncement of love and admiration.

[Of course, we are proud of how you performed today. But that’s not nearly as important as the fact that were are incredibly proud of the young man/young woman that you’ve become. We love you.]

Don’t Forget to Practice . . . A Lot

Once you have the speech written, practice. My wife and I practiced enough so that we could recite it without notes. Lots of practice will help you overcome the natural nerves you’re going to feel.

If you feel you have to use notes, that’s OK. Just read with gusto. You want it to sound like you’re just telling stories at a dinner table.

Practice hard and you’re son or daughter will be as proud of you as you are of him or her.

Bar Mitzvah Speech

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(*Of course, if you’re looking for more than ‘advice’, check out all the different ways the Speechy team can help you write & deliver a great speech. Or check out our new AI-powered team member, SpeechyAI .)

Here’s looking at you, kid. Literally.

Regardless of whether they began walking at six months, became the cross-country champion or they have finally managed to eat their vegetables without crying, there isn’t a more intimate way of honouring a child’s transition to adulthood than a well-written speech.

How To Structure Your Bar Mitzvah Speech

• Welcome the guests: Acknowledge those who have come to celebrate this special day.
• Share some   anecdotes from either your childhood or your son’s. What quirks and habits have made him into the man he is today?
• Thank the family: Pay tribute to those who have helped raise you or your son.
• Finish with a nod to the future: Look forward to this new, wonderful chapter of your/your son’s life.

Let’s run through it in more detail…

Welcome The Guests

If you’re writing a speech for your son’s Bar Mitzvah, begin by welcoming those who have joined you for this joyous celebration.

Warm up acknowledging the fact you are no longer able to lie about your child’s age in order to purchase discounted theme park tickets. Confess that not only are you ready to part with your child’s youth, and certainly not ready to give up playing Nintendo with him.

If you are sharing a few words to commemorate your own Bar Mitzvah, it’s likely you’ll be doing so after your parents. Thank them for your kind words, but don’t forget to remind them that becoming an adult today doesn’t mean they can start charging rent tomorrow.

Share Some Anecdotes

As a parent of a young man entering the next chapter of their life, you’ll have a vault of memories and have witnessed the development of his personality traits. Reminisce on old stories and habits that will allow the room to recognise the person you’re talking about today.

It goes without saying that, as a proud parent, you’ll want to spend hours gloating about the qualities in your son that you admire the most, but remember, you’re a parent! It’s almost a given that you take each and every chance to embarrass them.

Humour always goes down well in the context of even the most emotional of speeches, and this could be the perfect opportunity to remind your son how he has been an adult way before his years…as he continuously ran around the house as a toddler in his mum’s high heels and lipstick.

Equally, if you’re giving a speech at your own Bar Mitzvah, you may want to reminisce on your earliest memories and share a few favorites. No doubt you’ll have many heart-warming moments with your parents as you explored your faith and being a child, but the room will definitely appreciate a funny throwback and forgotten tale to get them laughing.

Remember, storytelling is a social bonding juice, so don’t just rely on adjectives. Bring your descriptions to life with great anecdotes that illustrate your points.

Thank The Family

Whilst it can be argued that every amazing quality in your son comes from the genetics of you and your partner, there will also be many family and friends that have contributed to your son’s remarkable childhood.

If you have any grandparents that took on multiple babysitting duties, or a favourite Uncle who has helped you prep for this particular day, be sure to acknowledge those who have helped you on this journey.

To The Future

Closing the door on childhood and walking into the daunting life that is adulthood can be quite daunting. If you are writing a speech to honour your son, touch on the traits and stories you mentioned previously and say how you think these will develop into adulthood.

Being a stubborn teenager may be ever-so-slightly-annoying now, but not giving up on what they want will be an amazing trait to carry into their future. No matter how many embarrassing anecdotes you’ve shared, wrap up by reminding them about how immensely proud you are and that you have no doubts about the adult they’ll become.

And if you are concluding your own Bar Mitzvah speech, what do you think your version of adulthood will look like? Are there any dreams you have or career goals you want to achieve? Or you are happy just going with the flow whilst aspiring to be half the adult your parents are.

Writing a great speech is only half the challenge. You also have to deliver the thing! Read our Delivery Advice to get a few tips.

Of course, whether it’s writing or delivering your speech that you need help with, Speechy can help. We’re famous for our celebration speeches as well as our wedding work.

The Speechwriting Experts

The Speechy team  are TV-trained scriptwriters/comedians by trade & we’ve helped 1,000s of speakers around the world deliver their dream speech.

Our advice has been quoted everywhere from  The New York Times  to  Grazia  and from Forbes to The Observer . Our founder has also featured on the  BBC Sounds’ Best Men podcast with Jason Manford and written ‘ The Modern Couple’s Guide to Wedding Speeches’ , published by Little, Brown.

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The Ultimate Guide to Bar Mitzvah/Bat Mitzvah Preparation

• The Bar/Bat Mitzvah Ceremony is a significant rite of passage into adulthood and has historical origins in Jewish tradition.
• Bar/Bat Mitzvah preparation is important, including classes on Hebrew, Torah portions, prayers, and personal growth leading up to the ceremony.
• Begin event planning 8-12 months in advance , focusing on organization, securing vendors, and coordinating with rabbis to ensure a smooth celebration.
• We discuss Ceremony Etiquette and Customs , including appropriate attire, participation, gift-giving, and the inclusion of non-Jewish guests, ensuring that the ceremony and celebration are respectful and enjoyable for all.

Table of Contents

Bar/bat mitzvah: a transition into adulthood.

• The Origin of Bar and Bat Mitzvah

When Does a Bar Mitzvah or Bat Mitzvah Celebration Take Place?

• The day of the Bar or Bat Mitzvah Celebration

Bar/Bat Mitzvah Ceremony Etiquette

How to prepare for being a bar mitzvah/bat mitzvah, frequently asked questions.

One memorable milestone in a Jewish child’s life is the bar mitzvah or bat mitzvah, a coming of age ritual that marks their transition into adulthood. This ultimate guide to bar/bat mitzvah Preparation provides parents with helpful knowledge and understanding to make this milestone a meaningful experience for their children.

The Importance of Jewish Education

The importance of Jewish education is widely acknowledged, and there are many reasons why it should be a priority for families. Jewish education provides an invaluable opportunity to learn about Jewish history, traditions, values, and culture. It allows individuals to gain insight into the values that have been passed down from generation to generation while also teaching modern-day practices. Additionally, engaging in Jewish education fosters a connection with the community and creates a strong sense of identity.

Learn more about Online Jewish Learning’s Jewish education classes

Stronger Connection to Jewish Identity and Community

Jewish education is not only important for individual growth; It has significant implications for the wider community as well. By encouraging young people to explore the traditions and become more engaged with their religious heritage, they can develop a deeper understanding of the shared values among members of the Jewish community. This knowledge can help create greater cohesion between members of different denominations by uniting them around common ideals and beliefs. Moreover, when youth are educated about their religion, it increases support for causes related to Judaism and strengthens advocacy efforts within the community.

Jewish education plays an integral role in connecting a child with their past while also helping them develop their Jewish identity. Furthermore, learning about one’s heritage empowers individuals to be more active members within their communities by forming strong bonds between those who share similar religious beliefs and values. Through education and engagement with Jewish learning, students can become more informed community members who are better equipped to make positive contributions in society.

Enroll in a Learning Program Today!

Our programs provide meaningful Jewish learning for everyone. Give Online Jewish Learning a try.

What is the Origin of Bar and Bat Mitzvah?

Son/daughter of commandment.

Bar is the Aramaic word for “son” and Bat is the Hebrew word for “daughter.”  While mitzvah is generally translated to “good deed” in the modern world, it actually is Hebrew for “commandment.”  This means that our children are becoming “sons and daughters” of the “commandments,” given to us in the Torah.

These ceremonies are important milestones in any Jewish person’s life and serve as powerful symbols that remind us how far we have come and how much further we can go. By understanding the significance and meaning behind these rituals, families can ensure that they provide their children with an educational environment that honors their tradition while also teaching them valuable lessons about responsibility and respect for others.

When Did Bar and Bat Mitzvah Ceremonies Begin?

Jewish tradition since at least the 12th century.

Bar mitzvah and bat mitzvah ceremonies have been an important part of the Jewish tradition since at least the 12th century, when it was first mentioned in a legal document. In addition to recognizing an individual’s transition from childhood to adulthood, this ceremony also serves as a reminder of the responsibility that comes with reaching the age of maturity in Judaism.

Girls Included Since the Early 20th Century

While traditionally only boys would have a bar mitzvah ceremony, girls have been included in this practice since the early 20th century.

Modern Significance in Traditional Rituals

In recent decades, the practice of celebrating bar mitzvah and bat mitzvah ceremonies has become more widespread, and many families now provide educational opportunities for their children to help them understand the significance behind these rituals.

Many families provide their children with books or online resources that explain the history and significance of bar mitzvah and bat mitzvah as well as offer guidance on how to plan for such an event. Additionally, parents can seek out rabbis or other professionals who are experienced in helping families prepare for these special occasions.

By taking steps to ensure that their children understand why this ritual is important, families can help create meaningful memories that will last a lifetime.

Generally, we celebrate children becoming a bar mitzvah or bat mitzvah when they reach the age of thirteen . However, the age requirement can vary from community to community. For example, in some Orthodox communities the ceremony is held when the child is twelve-and-a-half for boys and eleven-and-a-half for girls. Some parents may choose to delay celebrating their children becoming a Bar or Bat Mitzvah until they are emotionally ready for the milestone.

Adults who convert to Judaism often have a B’nai Mitzvah (the plural form of Bar or Bat Mitzvah ), which marks their official entrance into the Jewish community. For an adult convert, the B’nai Mitzvah might not be exactly like the one for a 13-year-old, but it serves a similar purpose in marking the person’s acceptance of their new responsibilities under Jewish law.

What happens on the day of the Bar or Bat Mitzvah Celebration?

On the day of a Bar or Bat Mitzvah, you can expect a meaningful combination of religious tradition and joyous celebration, marking a young person’s entry into Jewish adulthood. However, it’s important to note that both the service and the celebration can vary widely depending on the customs of the family, synagogue, and rabbi.

The Service

The Bar or Bat Mitzvah ceremony usually takes place during a synagogue service, often on Shabbat (Saturday), though it can also occur on other Torah-reading days, such as Mondays, Thursdays, or Rosh Chodesh (the first day of the Jewish month)​. The service may include the young person being called up for an aliyah , where they recite blessings over the Torah before and after a section is read​. Depending on the congregation’s traditions, they might also chant from the Torah or Haftarah, lead prayers, or deliver a d’var Torah , a personal speech connecting the Torah portion to their life​.

In traditional communities, a Bar Mitzvah boy might don tefillin for weekday prayers, while Bat Mitzvah practices vary depending on whether the ceremony is held within more liberal or orthodox settings. Some synagogues emphasize different rituals, and the level of participation in the service can be influenced by the rabbi’s approach and the family’s customs​.

The Celebration

Following the religious service, there is often a celebratory reception or party. This event is a time of joy and typically features food, music, and dancing​. Depending on the family’s traditions, the celebration can range from a small, intimate gathering to a grand affair. It’s common to see traditional Jewish dancing, like the hora , where guests dance in a circle and lift the Bar or Bat Mitzvah celebrant in a chair​. Some families prefer a more formal sit-down meal, while others opt for casual fun, games, and interactive entertainment.

Additionally, speeches, toasts, and a focus on the young person’s Mitzvah Project —a charitable endeavor undertaken in honor of this milestone—are often part of the celebration​ ( Chabad.org ). As with the service, the party varies widely depending on the community’s and family’s preferences.

What is the proper etiquette for a bat mitzvah / bar mitzvah ceremony?

Knowing the protocol and expectations can make the celebration even more meaningful and an enjoyable experience. Bar mitzvah and bat mitzvah ceremonies typically involve a combination of religious customs, rituals, and traditions as well as social activities. Here are some guidelines to consider:

• Respectful dress is expected at all times  – traditional attire such as suits or dresses should be worn.
• Guests should arrive on time for the ceremony  in order to show respect for the hosts of the event.
• During the service, it is customary to participate if possible.
• After services, guests may approach the parents to offer congratulations  followed by congratulating and hugging the bar/bat mitzvah child if appropriate.
• Gifts are not expected but may be given during services or afterwards  at a reception if desired.

It is also important to remember that everyone attending a bar/bat mitzvah has something special to contribute – whether it’s their presence, kind words, or love and support – making this an occasion to celebrate with joy and gratitude!

First, Enroll in Bar/Bat Mitzvah Classes

Bar and bat mitzvah classes provide an opportunity for children to learn about the traditions and values associated with this special event. Additionally, they help to foster a sense of connectedness within the community as well as provide the child with skills that will last a lifetime. When preparing for these classes, there are several key elements to keep in mind:

• Learning About Judaism:  Bar mitzvah and bat mitzvah classes serve as a comprehensive introduction to Judaism, covering topics such as Shabbat rituals, prayer, Hebrew reading and writing, Jewish holidays, Torah study and more.
• Practice Sessions:  Participants in bar / bat mitzvah classes often take part in practice sessions where they can hone their knowledge prior to the ceremony. This might include reciting blessings and prayers, learning how to read from the Torah scroll, practicing bowing “choreography” and other elements related to the event.
• Personal Preparation:  In addition to formal instruction, bar mitzvah and bat mitzvah classes should also provide time for personal reflection on what it means to become an adult in one’s faith community. Use these sessions as opportunities to talk with your child about significant events that have taken place in your life or meaningful experiences that have helped shape your understanding of Judaism and its traditions.

A bar or bat mitzvah is not only an important milestone in a Jewish child’s life but also an opportunity to deepen their connection and relationship with their community while developing new skills that will last them a lifetime. With proper preparation through bar / bat mitzvah classes, children can gain both knowledge and confidence which will ultimately help them lead fulfilling lives into adulthood.

AT OJL:  Upon completion of an initial evaluation, our instructors will design a personalized curriculum and timeline to meet the needs of the student and their family. Our B’nai Mitzvah programs offer both traditional (1-1.5 years) and accelerated (6-9 months) tracks, during which students typically gain proficiency in the following areas:

• Chanting of Torah and Haftarah tropes (melodies)
• Study of Torah portions and prayers
• Familiarization with the various elements of the service
• Composition of a D’var Torah, which is a traditional speech focused on the weekly Torah portion.
• Click here to learn more about our online bar mitzvah and bat mitzvah preparation classes.  

Planning for the Day of the B’nai Mitzvah

Start planning early..

• Establishing a timeline of tasks that need to be accomplished leading up to the bat mitzvah or bar mitzvah ceremony. This will help ensure all components are taken care of in advance, giving you ample time to make adjustments if necessary.
• When considering a bar / bat mitzvah ceremony, it is important to select a venue that is appropriate for hosting your event: Will there be a meal?  Dancing? A Photo Booth?
• Have your Rabbi/Cantor/Officiant help you put together a shopping list of everything you’ll need (kippot, tallit, special candles, siddur booklets, etc.).

Next, get organized!

The key to successful bar / bat mitzvah planning is organization. Keep an updated list of guests who will be attending so there’s no confusion when finalizing seating arrangements and catering orders.

Finally, focus on what matters most: making memories!

Make sure to enjoy the event with your child.  This special event should be remembered for years to come!

AT OJL:  We understand that each b’nai mitzvah is a unique and significant event, and we strive to provide personalized and meaningful experiences for our students and their families. We collaborate closely with families to tailor the service according to their preferences, such as selecting the ideal day and time (e.g., Shabbat morning, weekday, or mincha/havdallah), and identifying the service components certain prayers in which the student would like to take part, such as reciting morning prayers or special blessings. Additionally, we assist in coordinating the ceremony and establishing a practical timeline to ensure a successful and stress-free celebration.

Bar/Bat Mitzvah Planning Timeline

Creating a project timeline for bar mitzvah and bat mitzvah preparation is essential to ensure all tasks are completed in a timely manner. While the exact project timeline may vary depending on individual needs and preferences, the following are key steps to consider when planning:

• 8-12 Months Before: Begin learning! Additionally,  start researching venues, caterers, musicians, etc. Brainstorm ideas for decorations, activities and other elements.
• 6-8 Months Before:  Secure vendors, book venue/catering, determine ceremony/reception schedule.
• 4-6 Months Before:  Finalize guest list and send out invitations. Choose decorations, party favors and activities.
• 2-4 Months Before:  Confirm final details with vendors and begin rehearsals for ceremony. Start creating an agenda of events for the day of the mitzvah.
• 1 Month Before:  Confirm all RSVPs and final headcount with caterer. Prepare seating chart or assign tables. Make sure to include any special requests from guests in your planning (i.e., dietary restrictions).

The weeks leading up to any bar mitzvah or bat mitzvah can be hectic but also incredibly rewarding – take time out to enjoy the process. It will be over before you know it!

What Is The Difference Between a Bar Mitzvah and a Bat Mitzvah?

The ceremonies are significant milestones in the lives of young Jews, but it is important to understand the distinction between them. A bar mitzvah marks the transition from childhood to adulthood for boys aged 13, while a bat mitzvah marks the same milestone for girls aged 12.

In addition to these gender differences in age and ritual, each celebration has its own style. For example, while a traditional bar mitzvah may involve an after-party with music and dancing for most kids, many families opt for a more subdued celebration at a bat mitzvah. Also, while a boy’s tallit (prayer shawl) is typically presented as part of his bar mitzvah ceremony, many families choose to present one for their daughter’s bat mitzvah ceremony.

RABBI TIP: When preparing for either ceremony, be sure to research local customs and traditions so you can best honor your child’s special day.

Are there any Special Customs or Rituals Associated with the Bar/Bat Mitzvah?

The bar/bat mitzvah event is a sacred ceremony that marks an important milestone in a Jewish student’s life. As such, certain customs and rituals are associated with the occasion. These ceremonial practices are steeped in tradition and can vary depending on the family’s beliefs and practices.

When it comes to bar mitzvah rituals, there are a few key components that are typically included. For example, the celebrant is often asked to read from the Torah as part of the ceremony. A prayer shawl may be worn as a symbol of faith and protection. There may also be blessings recited by family members or special readings chosen by the celebrant.

Bat mitzvah traditions often include similar elements as those for a bar mitzvah but may also vary based on personal preference. For example, some families choose to have the bat mitzvah recite her own special blessing at the end of the service or make a special speech about her future plans and aspirations. Additionally, some families may opt for special music or other elements of worship service that reflect their cultural heritage or religious beliefs.

RABBI TIP: It is important to do research into any traditions you plan to incorporate into your bar/bat mitzvah celebration so that you can ensure they are done correctly and with respect to their cultural origins.

How can we include Non-Jewish friends and family?

For many families, inviting non-Jewish guests can be an important way to honor close friends and family members who have played a role in the child’s life.

Including non-Jewish guests can add a element of diversity to the ceremony. The invitation itself is symbolic – an open door for friends from all backgrounds to share in this significant milestone. This gesture can also provide opportunities for discussion and learning about Jewish culture and traditions with those who may not be familiar with them. It may even serve as a bridge for meaningful conversations about faith and religion between different communities. Ultimately, by extending an invitation to non-Jewish guests, families are sharing a special part of their lives with others while creating space for understanding and respect.

What are Some Creative Ideas for a Bar/Bat Mitzvah Celebration?

Planning a bar/bat mitzvah celebration can be an exciting yet daunting experience for families. From creative ideas to budgeting, there are many factors to consider when putting together a unique and meaningful event. To help make this memorable occasion as stress-free as possible, below are some tips on how to create a meaningful bar/bat mitzvah celebration your family will never forget.

When thinking of a theme for the event, it is important to consider the tastes and interests of the celebrant. A fun way to bring out their personality is by creating a theme based on their favorite hobby or book series. Additionally, incorporating traditional elements into the event such as giving symbolic gifts, like tzedakah boxes or Shabbat candlesticks, will add an extra special touch.

When planning activities for guests to enjoy during the party, consider what kind of atmosphere you would like to create. If you want an upbeat atmosphere with plenty of energy, then choose activities that are fast paced such as relay races or karaoke. For those looking for something more relaxed and low key, think about hosting more interactive activities like trivia games or scavenger hunts. No matter what type of mitzvah party ideas you choose, be sure they reflect the values and family’s beliefs while providing an enjoyable and memorable experience for all involved.

How Much Does a Bar/Bat Mitzvah Typically Cost?

The cost of a bar or bat mitzvah ceremony is an important factor to consider when planning this special celebration. Different factors can affect the overall cost of the event, including the location, number of guests, and food/entertainment. It is important to create a budget that allows for some flexibility while still meeting your needs.

When considering the budget for a bar / bat mitzvah, consider all aspects of the event. A venue can account for a large part of the budget, but other items such as catering and entertainment must also be included in order to make the day memorable for everyone involved. The cost of invitations and decorations should also be taken into account when planning a mitzvah budget. Additionally, families may want to set aside money for gifts, transportation, and other miscellaneous expenses that can quickly add up.

Ultimately, having a realistic idea of how much money you are able to spend on your bar or bat mitzvah will help ensure that you are able to plan an enjoyable celebration without breaking the bank. It is important to research costs ahead of time and factor them into your budget in order to ensure that everything runs smoothly on your special day.

Rabbi Danielle G. Eskow

A pioneer in online Jewish education, graduate of Brandeis University and The Jewish Theological Seminary, she excels in psychology, Jewish studies, Hebrew, and scriptural interpretation.

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Home » What to Write & Say In a Bar/Bat Mitzvah Card [Wishes, Blessings & Quotes]?

What to Write & Say In a Bar/Bat Mitzvah Card [Wishes, Blessings & Quotes]?

You’re attending a Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony …

You got the boy a nice Bar Mitzvah gift (or Bat Mitzvah gift if it’s a girl) for their special day…

Now… the only question remains:

“What do you write in the Bar/Bat Mitzvah card?”

After all, you want to let them know how much they mean to you, right?

These Bar/Bat Mitzvah card messages & wishes will help you do just that.

• … Want to write a warm & emotional Bar/Bat Mitzvah blessing? No problem!
• … How about a passage from the Talmud? You got it!
• … Maybe you’d like to make them laugh? Sababa!
• … Or maybe a blessing from Yoda? (no, this isn’t a typo) Sure, why not!

OK, OK… enough teasing.

Let’s go write a Bar/Bat Mitzvah wish that’ll make your card stand out!

Note: And yes, I’m giving you full permission to use, copy or share these blessings as you please!

Tip:  If you don’t have time to personalize the card yourself, then you can get this cute Bar/Bat Mitzvah card instead.

Table of Contents

Traditional Bar/Bat Mitzvah Wishes

Prefer to go the good ol’ Jewish route? Then stick to these traditional Bar & Bar Mitzvah greetings & wishes. 

These wishes are great for both family (parents/grandparents, siblings, cousins… ) and friends. 

Tip:  You can mix & match several of these blessings and create your own Bar/Bat Mitzvah blessings cocktail! (you’ll see examples of how I combined several of these in the “ Bar & Bat Mitzvah Card Message Examples ” section)

• Mazel Tov! (in Hebrew: !מזל טוב)
• Ad 120! (in Hebrew: !עד 120)
• Mazel Tov & congratulations on your Bar/Bat Mitzvah!
• Happy Bar/Bat Mitzvah!
• Today you begin a new chapter in your life.
• May the Torah bless you and guide you throughout your life.
• I wish you a life filled with joy, success, and achievement in everything you do.

May your heart conceive with understanding, may your mouth speak wisdom and your tongue be stirred with sounds of joy.

So excited to celebrate with you as your guest.

• May this be the beginning of an amazing journey. I can’t wait to see what the future holds for you.
• I’m praying you will find happiness & success in everything you do.
• I’m so proud of the young man/woman you’ve become. Keep making your parents proud! 
• You’re such a sweet/smart/special/beautiful/thoughtful young man/woman!

!כל שתבקש – לו יהי

• You’ve blossomed into a beautiful young woman (don’t mention this to a Bar Mitzvah)

Personalize for Bar Mitzvah

Personalize for Bat Mitzvah

Bar & Bat Mitzvah Quotes & Sayings

There’s nothing like inspiring words of wisdom to start off the Bar/Bat Mitzvah’s journey into adult Jewish life.

It doesn’t matter if it’s a quote from the Torah, a Jewish sage or just an inspiring quote to hang in your bedroom… 

Besides – it makes your message stand out more (perhaps even worth keeping in a treasure chest?) in a sea of Bar/Bat Mitzvah wishes & sentiments that all sound the same.

• “My son, do not forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments; for they will add length to your days, years and peace to your life.” – Proverbs 3:1
• “I found a fruitful world, because my ancestors planted it for me. Likewise I am planting for my children.” –  Talmud, Taanit 23a
• “Train up a child in the way he should go and even when he is old he will not depart from it.” – Proverbs 22:6
• “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” – Viktor Frankl
• “Incline your ear and hear the words of the wise— apply your mind to my knowledge — for it is pleasing when you keep them within you and they are constantly on your lips…” –  Proverbs 22:17
• “It is a tree of life for those who hold fast to it.” – Proverbs 3:18
• “He shall be like a tree planted by waters sending forth its roots by a stream.” –  Jeremiah 17:8
• “But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” – Isaiah 40:31
• “Whoever teaches his son teaches not only his son, but also his son’s son – and so on to the end of generations.” –  Talmud, Kiddushin 30a
• “Be strong and courageous! Neither fear, nor be dismayed of them, for the Lord, your God He is the One Who goes with you. He will neither fail you, nor forsake you.” – Deuteronomy 31:6
• “Forgetfulness leads to exile while remembrance is the secret of redemption.” –  The Baal Shem Tov
• “A Bar Mitzvah is the time in his life when a Jewish boy realizes he has a better chance of owning a team than playing for one” – Jerry Reinsdorf
• “I’m not a boy now. I’m a man, I hope. I hope I’ve had my artistic bar mitzvah somewhere” – Jeremy Piven (Ari Gold everybody!)
• “May you live to see your world fulfilled, May you be our link to future worlds, and may your hope encompass all the generations to be. May your heart conceive with understanding, may your mouth speak wisdom and your tongue be stirred with sounds of joy. May your gaze be straight and sure, your eyes be lit with Torah’s lamp, your face aglow with heaven’s radiance, your lips expressing words of knowledge, and your inner self alive with righteousness. And may you always rush in eagerness to hear the words of One more ancient than all time.” –  Talmud, Brachot 17A

Funny Bar & Bat Mitzvah Blessings

Are you a good friend of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah? Are you the clown of the family who can’t help but crack a few jokes? Are you like Chandler Bing (“Friends” fanatics will get this one)?

Then do yourself a favor and don’t be cliche. Cliche blessings are not cool…

Leave the lovey-dovey blessings to grandma and auntie Bracha.

Your goal is to be the smartass that cracks them up.

These blessings will do the trick…

• Grow up, will ya?
• You’re a big boy/girl now!
• Welcome to the real world…
• You’ve been living in a dream world, Neo…
• Just because you’re a Jewish adult doesn’t mean you can start drinking!
• Be a grownup and listen to your mommy.
• Time to get a job…

I still remember when you were just a young 12-year-old as if it were yesterday.

Even though you’re officially a man now – stay the hell away from the alcohol! You’re not that kind of “man” yet.

• Now that you’re all grown up, can I have your toys, please?

May the force be with you!

• You’ve blossomed into a beautiful young woman (write this for a Bar Mitzvah)

Bar & Bat Mitzvah Card Message Examples

You’ve now got a list of Bar & Bat Mitzvah greetings & blessing ideas… awesome!

Now… how do you put them together into a meaningful Bar/Bat Mitzvah card message?

How do you make your blessing stand out?

These Bar & Bat Mitzvah card templates will help you “nail” the wording…

Remember:  You’re welcome to copy, borrow or steal any of these blessings. But don’t be lazy and copy it word for word, customize it a little…

Because you know what’ll happen if you do that, right? Some other guest who has read this article too will end and copying the exact same message… And trust me – you don’t want to end up with the same blessing as 10 other people.

The Bar/Bat Mitzvah will realize something “fishy” is going on here – and they’ll find out you cheated! You naughty, naughty boy/gal… 

The Family Blessing

Congratulations on your coming of age!

May the Torah bless you and guide you throughout your whole life. I hope you know how blessed you are being surrounded by a family that loves you so much.

I wish you a lifetime filled with joy, success, and achievement in everything you do.

Continue being bright and hard-working, I’m so proud of you, and can’t wait to see what the future holds for you.

The Family Friend Blessing

You must be very excited!

Today you begin a new chapter of your young life.

Blessings to you on this special occasion,

and may the Torah and the love of your family be your guide in Life.

The Hebrew Blessing (for Bar Mitzvah)

!מזל טוב על הגיעך לגיל מצוות

!מאחל לך את כל הטוב שבעולם

…שאלוקים יברך אותך בשפע, ברכה והצלחה

…תמשיך להרוות נחת וגאווה להורים 

שתגדל להיות בחור למופת ודוגמא לאחרים

.שה’ תמיד יהיה לצידך בכל אשר תעשה

Jewish Wisdom Blessing (Talmud)

“May you live to see your world fulfilled. May you be our link to future worlds, and may your hope encompass all the generations to be.

May you be our link to future worlds, and may your hope encompass all the generations to be. May your heart conceive with understanding, may your mouth speak wisdom and your tongue be stirred with sounds of joy.

May your gaze be straight and sure,

your eyes be lit with Torah’s lamp, your face aglow with heaven’s radiance,

your lips expressing words of knowledge, and your inner self-alive with righteousness. And may you always rush in eagerness to hear the words of One more ancient than all time.”

And may you always rush in eagerness to hear the words of One more ancient than all time.”

The Funny Blessing (for Kicks & Giggles)

Congratulations on your Bar Mitzvah!

Speaking of which: now that you’re officially all grown up, can I have your toys?

Just kidding…

Mazel tov! I wish you all the love, happiness and success in the world…

Jewish Yoda’s Blessing

Truly wonderful the mind of a child is.

Still wonderful you are, and more wonderful you shall become.

As you grow up, you will know the good from the bad when you are calm, at peace. Passive. A Jedi uses the Force for knowledge and defense, never for attack.

But PATIENCE YOU MUST HAVE, my young padawan…

Difficult to see. Always In motion is the future… But yours is a bright one.

The Bar/Bat Mitzvah Poem  Blessing

A handmade blessing, written especially for you.

Praying you will find happiness & success in everything you do.

You’re now celebrating your coming of age,

With the Torah alongside you as you go on stage.

We love you so much & wish you all the best,

Conclusion  

There are many ways to write a Bar/Bat Mitzvah blessing, and even more Bar Mitzvah card messages to choose from.

You don’t necessarily have to go the “normal” (read: boring) way. You can spice it up a bit, add a bit of good old Jewish wisdom to the mix, or even write a short poem if you’re in a Shakespeare mood.

Bottom line – anything can work. Be smart, be creative, be thoughtful…

Most importantly: have a great time

P.S – tell the Bar/Bat Mitzvah I said Mazel Tov!

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One thought on “ what to write & say in a bar/bat mitzvah card [wishes, blessings & quotes] ”.

Great post! absolutely wonderful and hilarious wishes. Keep it up.

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Bat Mitzvah / Bar Mitzvah speeches

“We had [the] Bar Mitzvah party last Sunday, during which we of course read the various speeches you’d prepared. They were genuinely all huge hits! Thank you for all your help. I’m sure I’ll get back in contact next time!”  – Howard U.

The typical bar mitzvah party will include speeches by:

• The father of the bar mitzvah toasting his son
• A friend of the bar mitzvah toasting his friend
• The bar mitzvah thanking his family and guests for helping him celebrate his coming of age

Many parties also have a ‘Chairman’ acting as an MC.  He will often be a relative or close family friend who will make a brief speech of his own.

We have written dozens of each for clients across the world and would be delighted to help write yours.

The Father’s Toast

As ever, the key is relevance .  It’s about striking the right balance between sincerity and humour, particularly bearing in mind that your audience is likely to include at least three generations of family and friends.  The risk is often trying to please one group at the expense of the others.  It’s also easy to overdo your lavish praise of your son or daughter and to provoke some mildly cynical looks from friends of all ages.  At the other end of the scale, it’s important not simply to list a series of thanks and achievements.  The best father-of-the-bar-mitzvah speeches are usually balanced, witty and self-deprecating, with a sprinkling of sentimentality.

The Friend’s Toast

Typically we are approached by parents worried that their twelve or thirteen year old child is being asked to speak in front of a room full of people, many of whom they have never met.  It’s a daunting task.  The child’s instinct is often to tease his or her friend about their interests and hobbies.  In England, there’s rarely a draft that doesn’t contain multiple references to football. My advice would be to keep the speech relatively sincere, not try to be too funny or clever, but to explain simply and clearly why the bar mitzvah is such a good friend and why you hope this will just be the beginning of a much longer friendship. There is room for jokes, but this speech is very much a supporting act, and generally the bad ones will be remembered longer than the most effective.

The Bar Mitzvah’s speech

It’s been one hell of a weekend. Your son or daughter will have stood up in Synagogue, seen friends and family together for the very first time, been showered with gifts and attention, and then be expected to stand-up with a microphone in hand and entertain them all after dinner. There are so many people to mention and thank, and so many in-jokes to tell, that this is a speech that can drag, despite all the warmth in the room.  My advice would be to keep it as brief as possible, avoid the most obvious stereotypes ( ‘Mum’s always in the kitchen while Dad’s at Spurs’ ) and keep it simple and sincere without too much sibling-bashing. It tends to be pretty obvious when a parent has written the speech for their son or daughter and it’s vital that the speech has the bar mitzvah’s finger-prints all over it.

We would love to help you prepare and deliver any sort of bar mitzvah speech. We’re always happy to chat about your plans and concerns, and to discuss the most effective way of helping you write and deliver something genuinely special. Or feel free to email us.

Please let us know if you would like us to write a bat mitzvah / bar mitzvah speech for you and we will send through a questionnaire to help you prepare your content in advance.

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Bar/Bat Mitzvah

Your child’s religious preparation and study is underway and they are busy preparing Biblical texts and learning about Jewish values and traditions that have been taught throughout the generations. They will be delivering a dvar Torah and/or taking part in a service that will reflect their new sense of responsibility and thoughtfulness.

You too will be delivering a speech focusing on your child’s achievements, supporting their growing maturity and instilling them with a sense of purpose and pride in their new status within the religion. While looking forward to celebrating this occasion with friends and family, you are most probably overwhelmed with the many preparations. This is where we step in.

Our writers at yourjewishspeech.com are well-versed in Jewish texts and have extensive backgrounds in Jewish education. Over the years we have used our expertise to help Bar/Bat Mitzvah families write Dvar Torahs and parent speeches that reflect both shared Jewish teachings and personal family experiences.

Contact Us to get started.

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