format of a memoir essay

How to Write a Memoir: Examples and a Step-by-Step Guide

Zining Mok  |  January 29, 2024  |  32 Comments

If you’ve thought about putting your life to the page, you may have wondered how to write a memoir. We start the road to writing a memoir when we realize that a story in our lives demands to be told. As Maya Angelou once wrote, “There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”

How to write a memoir? At first glance, it looks easy enough—easier, in any case, than writing fiction. After all, there is no need to make up a story or characters, and the protagonist is none other than you.

Still, memoir writing carries its own unique challenges, as well as unique possibilities that only come from telling your own true story. Let’s dive into how to write a memoir by looking closely at the craft of memoir writing, starting with a key question: exactly what is a memoir?

How to Write a Memoir: Contents

What is a Memoir?

• Memoir vs Autobiography

Memoir Examples

Short memoir examples.

• How to Write a Memoir: A Step-by-Step Guide

A memoir is a branch of creative nonfiction , a genre defined by the writer Lee Gutkind as “true stories, well told.” The etymology of the word “memoir,” which comes to us from the French, tells us of the human urge to put experience to paper, to remember. Indeed, a memoir is “ something written to be kept in mind .”

A memoir is defined by Lee Gutkind as “true stories, well told.”

For a piece of writing to be called a memoir, it has to be:

• Nonfictional
• Based on the raw material of your life and your memories
• Written from your personal perspective

At this point, memoirs are beginning to sound an awful lot like autobiographies. However, a quick comparison of Elizabeth Gilbert’s Eat, Pray, Love , and The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin , for example, tells us that memoirs and autobiographies could not be more distinct.

Next, let’s look at the characteristics of a memoir and what sets memoirs and autobiographies apart. Discussing memoir vs. autobiography will not only reveal crucial insights into the process of writing a memoir, but also help us to refine our answer to the question, “What is a memoir?”

Memoir vs. Autobiography

While both use personal life as writing material, there are five key differences between memoir and autobiography:

1. Structure

Since autobiographies tell the comprehensive story of one’s life, they are more or less chronological. writing a memoir, however, involves carefully curating a list of personal experiences to serve a larger idea or story, such as grief, coming-of-age, and self-discovery. As such, memoirs do not have to unfold in chronological order.

While autobiographies attempt to provide a comprehensive account, memoirs focus only on specific periods in the writer’s life. The difference between autobiographies and memoirs can be likened to that between a CV and a one-page resume, which includes only select experiences.

The difference between autobiographies and memoirs can be likened to that between a CV and a one-page resume, which includes only select experiences.

Autobiographies prioritize events; memoirs prioritize the writer’s personal experience of those events. Experience includes not just the event you might have undergone, but also your feelings, thoughts, and reflections. Memoir’s insistence on experience allows the writer to go beyond the expectations of formal writing. This means that memoirists can also use fiction-writing techniques , such as scene-setting and dialogue , to capture their stories with flair.

4. Philosophy

Another key difference between the two genres stems from the autobiography’s emphasis on facts and the memoir’s reliance on memory. Due to memory’s unreliability, memoirs ask the reader to focus less on facts and more on emotional truth. In addition, memoir writers often work the fallibility of memory into the narrative itself by directly questioning the accuracy of their own memories.

Memoirs ask the reader to focus less on facts and more on emotional truth.

5. Audience

While readers pick up autobiographies to learn about prominent individuals, they read memoirs to experience a story built around specific themes . Memoirs, as such, tend to be more relatable, personal, and intimate. Really, what this means is that memoirs can be written by anybody!

Ready to be inspired yet? Let’s now turn to some memoir examples that have received widespread recognition and captured our imaginations!

If you’re looking to lose yourself in a book, the following memoir examples are great places to begin:

• The Year of Magical Thinking , which chronicles Joan Didion’s year of mourning her husband’s death, is certainly one of the most powerful books on grief. Written in two short months, Didion’s prose is urgent yet lucid, compelling from the first page to the last. A few years later, the writer would publish Blue Nights , another devastating account of grief, only this time she would be mourning her daughter.
• Patti Smith’s Just Kids is a classic coming-of-age memoir that follows the author’s move to New York and her romance and friendship with the artist Robert Maplethorpe. In its pages, Smith captures the energy of downtown New York in the late sixties and seventies effortlessly.
• When Breath Becomes Air begins when Paul Kalanithi, a young neurosurgeon, is diagnosed with terminal cancer. Exquisite and poignant, this memoir grapples with some of the most difficult human experiences, including fatherhood, mortality, and the search for meaning.
• A memoir of relationship abuse, Carmen Maria Machado’s In the Dream House is candid and innovative in form. Machado writes about thorny and turbulent subjects with clarity, even wit. While intensely personal, In the Dream House is also one of most insightful pieces of cultural criticism.
• Twenty-five years after leaving for Canada, Michael Ondaatje returns to his native Sri Lanka to sort out his family’s past. The result is Running in the Family , the writer’s dazzling attempt to reconstruct fragments of experiences and family legends into a portrait of his parents’ and grandparents’ lives. (Importantly, Running in the Family was sold to readers as a fictional memoir; its explicit acknowledgement of fictionalization prevented it from encountering the kind of backlash that James Frey would receive for fabricating key facts in A Million Little Pieces , which he had sold as a memoir . )
• Of the many memoirs published in recent years, Tara Westover’s Educated is perhaps one of the most internationally-recognized. A story about the struggle for self-determination, Educated recounts the writer’s childhood in a survivalist family and her subsequent attempts to make a life for herself. All in all, powerful, thought-provoking, and near impossible to put down.

While book-length memoirs are engaging reads, the prospect of writing a whole book can be intimidating. Fortunately, there are plenty of short, essay-length memoir examples that are just as compelling.

While memoirists often write book-length works, you might also consider writing a memoir that’s essay-length. Here are some short memoir examples that tell complete, lived stories, in far fewer words:

• “ The Book of My Life ” offers a portrait of a professor that the writer, Aleksandar Hemon, once had as a child in communist Sarajevo. This memoir was collected into Hemon’s The Book of My Lives , a collection of essays about the writer’s personal history in wartime Yugoslavia and subsequent move to the US.
• “The first time I cheated on my husband, my mother had been dead for exactly one week.” So begins Cheryl Strayed’s “ The Love of My Life ,” an essay that the writer eventually expanded into the best-selling memoir, Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail .
• In “ What We Hunger For ,” Roxane Gay weaves personal experience and a discussion of The Hunger Games into a powerful meditation on strength, trauma, and hope. “What We Hunger For” can also be found in Gay’s essay collection, Bad Feminist .
• A humorous memoir structured around David Sedaris and his family’s memories of pets, “ The Youth in Asia ” is ultimately a story about grief, mortality and loss. This essay is excerpted from the memoir Me Talk Pretty One Day , and a recorded version can be found here .

So far, we’ve 1) answered the question “What is a memoir?” 2) discussed differences between memoirs vs. autobiographies, 3) taken a closer look at book- and essay-length memoir examples. Next, we’ll turn the question of how to write a memoir.

How to Write a Memoir: A-Step-by-Step Guide

1. how to write a memoir: generate memoir ideas.

how to start a memoir? As with anything, starting is the hardest. If you’ve yet to decide what to write about, check out the “ I Remember ” writing prompt. Inspired by Joe Brainard’s memoir I Remember , this prompt is a great way to generate a list of memories. From there, choose one memory that feels the most emotionally charged and begin writing your memoir. It’s that simple! If you’re in need of more prompts, our Facebook group is also a great resource.

2. How to Write a Memoir: Begin drafting

My most effective advice is to resist the urge to start from “the beginning.” Instead, begin with the event that you can’t stop thinking about, or with the detail that, for some reason, just sticks. The key to drafting is gaining momentum . Beginning with an emotionally charged event or detail gives us the drive we need to start writing.

3. How to Write a Memoir: Aim for a “ shitty first draft ”

Now that you have momentum, maintain it. Attempting to perfect your language as you draft makes it difficult to maintain our impulses to write. It can also create self-doubt and writers’ block. Remember that most, if not all, writers, no matter how famous, write shitty first drafts.

Attempting to perfect your language as you draft makes it difficult to maintain our impulses to write.

4. How to Write a Memoir: Set your draft aside

Once you have a first draft, set it aside and fight the urge to read it for at least a week. Stephen King recommends sticking first drafts in your drawer for at least six weeks. This period allows writers to develop the critical distance we need to revise and edit the draft that we’ve worked so hard to write.

5. How to Write a Memoir: Reread your draft

While reading your draft, note what works and what doesn’t, then make a revision plan. While rereading, ask yourself:

• What’s underdeveloped, and what’s superfluous.
• Does the structure work?
• What story are you telling?

6. How to Write a Memoir: Revise your memoir and repeat steps 4 & 5 until satisfied

Every piece of good writing is the product of a series of rigorous revisions. Depending on what kind of writer you are and how you define a draft,” you may need three, seven, or perhaps even ten drafts. There’s no “magic number” of drafts to aim for, so trust your intuition. Many writers say that a story is never, truly done; there only comes a point when they’re finished with it. If you find yourself stuck in the revision process, get a fresh pair of eyes to look at your writing.

7. How to Write a Memoir: Edit, edit, edit!

Once you’re satisfied with the story, begin to edit the finer things (e.g. language, metaphor , and details). Clean up your word choice and omit needless words , and check to make sure you haven’t made any of these common writing mistakes . Be sure to also know the difference between revising and editing —you’ll be doing both. Then, once your memoir is ready, send it out !

Learn How to Write a Memoir at Writers.com

Writing a memoir for the first time can be intimidating. But, keep in mind that anyone can learn how to write a memoir. Trust the value of your own experiences: it’s not about the stories you tell, but how you tell them. Most importantly, don’t give up!

Anyone can learn how to write a memoir.

If you’re looking for additional feedback, as well as additional instruction on how to write a memoir, check out our schedule of nonfiction classes . Now, get started writing your memoir!

32 Comments

Thank you for this website. It’s very engaging. I have been writing a memoir for over three years, somewhat haphazardly, based on the first half of my life and its encounters with ignorance (religious restrictions, alcohol, and inability to reach out for help). Three cities were involved: Boston as a youngster growing up and going to college, then Washington DC and Chicago North Shore as a married woman with four children. I am satisfied with some chapters and not with others. Editing exposes repetition and hopefully discards boring excess. Reaching for something better is always worth the struggle. I am 90, continue to be a recital pianist, a portrait painter, and a writer. Hubby has been dead for nine years. Together we lept a few of life’s chasms and I still miss him. But so far, my occupations keep my brain working fairly well, especially since I don’t smoke or drink (for the past 50 years).

Hi Mary Ellen,

It sounds like a fantastic life for a memoir! Thank you for sharing, and best of luck finishing your book. Let us know when it’s published!

Best, The writers.com Team

Hello Mary Ellen,

I am contacting you because your last name (Lavelle) is my middle name!

Being interested in genealogy I have learned that this was my great grandfathers wife’s name (Mary Lavelle), and that her family emigrated here about 1850 from County Mayo, Ireland. That is also where my fathers family came from.

Is your family background similar?

Hope to hear back from you.

Richard Lavelle Bourke

Hi Mary Ellen: Have you finished your memoir yet? I just came across your post and am seriously impressed that you are still writing. I discovered it again at age 77 and don’t know what I would do with myself if I couldn’t write. All the best to you!! Sharon [email protected]

I am up to my eyeballs with a research project and report for a non-profit. And some paid research for an international organization. But as today is my 90th birthday, it is time to retire and write a memoir.

So I would like to join a list to keep track of future courses related to memoir / creative non-fiction writing.

Hi Frederick,

Happy birthday! And happy retirement as well. I’ve added your name and email to our reminder list for memoir courses–when we post one on our calendar, we’ll send you an email.

We’ll be posting more memoir courses in the near future, likely for the months of January and February 2022. We hope to see you in one!

Very interesting and informative, I am writing memoirs from my long often adventurous and well travelled life, have had one very short story published. Your advice on several topics will be extremely helpful. I write under my schoolboy nickname Barnaby Rudge.

[…] How to Write a Memoir: Examples and a Step-by-Step Guide […]

I am writing my memoir from my memory when I was 5 years old and now having left my birthplace I left after graduation as a doctor I moved to UK where I have been living. In between I have spent 1 year in Canada during my training year as paediatrician. I also spent nearly 2 years with British Army in the hospital as paediatrician in Germany. I moved back to UK to work as specialist paediatrician in a very busy general hospital outside London for the next 22 years. Then I retired from NHS in 2012. I worked another 5 years in Canada until 2018. I am fully retired now

I have the whole convoluted story of my loss and horrid aftermath in my head (and heart) but have no clue WHERE, in my story to begin. In the middle of the tragedy? What led up to it? Where my life is now, post-loss, and then write back and forth? Any suggestions?

My friend Laura who referred me to this site said “Start”! I say to you “Start”!

Hi Dee, that has been a challenge for me.i dont know where to start?

What was the most painful? Embarrassing? Delicious? Unexpected? Who helped you? Who hurt you? Pick one story and let that lead you to others.

I really enjoyed this writing about memoir. I ve just finished my own about my journey out of my city then out of my country to Egypt to study, Never Say Can’t, God Can Do It. Infact memoir writing helps to live the life you are writing about again and to appreciate good people you came across during the journey. Many thanks for sharing what memoir is about.

I went to Egypt earlier this year. I aspire for my second book to document and tell the story of my travels of Africa, following the first – a memoir that led me to this post.

I am a survivor of gun violence, having witnessed my adult son being shot 13 times by police in 2014. I have struggled with writing my memoir because I have a grandson who was 18-months old at the time of the tragedy and was also present, as was his biological mother and other family members. We all struggle with PTSD because of this atrocity. My grandson’s biological mother was instrumental in what happened and I am struggling to write the story in such a way as to not cast blame – thus my dilemma in writing the memoir. My grandson was later adopted by a local family in an open adoption and is still a big part of my life. I have considered just writing it and waiting until my grandson is old enough to understand all the family dynamics that were involved. Any advice on how I might handle this challenge in writing would be much appreciated.

I decided to use a ghost writer, and I’m only part way in the process and it’s worth every penny!

Hi. I am 44 years old and have had a roller coaster life .. right as a young kid seeing his father struggle to financial hassles, facing legal battles at a young age and then health issues leading to a recent kidney transplant. I have been working on writing a memoir sharing my life story and titled it “A memoir of growth and gratitude” Is it a good idea to write a memoir and share my story with the world?

Thank you… this was very helpful. I’m writing about the troubling issues of my mental health, and how my life was seriously impacted by that. I am 68 years old.

[…] Writers.com: How to Write a Memoir […]

[…] Writers.com: “How to Write a Memoir” […]

I am so grateful that I found this site! I am inspired and encouraged to start my memoir because of the site’s content and the brave people that have posted in the comments.

Finding this site is going into my gratitude journey 🙂

We’re grateful you found us too, Nichol! 🙂

Firstly, I would like to thank you for all the info pertaining to memoirs. I believe am on the right track, am at the editing stage and really have to use an extra pair of eyes. I’m more motivated now to push it out and complete it. Thanks for the tips it was very helpful, I have a little more confidence it seeing the completion.

Well, I’m super excited to begin my memoir. It’s hard trying to rely on memories alone, but I’m going to give it a shot!

Thanks to everyone who posted comments, all of which have inspired me to get on it.

Best of luck to everyone! Jody V.

I was thrilled to find this material on How to Write A Memoir. When I briefly told someone about some of my past experiences and how I came to the United States in the company of my younger brother in a program with a curious name, I was encouraged by that person and others to write my life history.

Based on the name of that curious program through which our parents sent us to the United States so we could leave the place of our birth, and be away from potentially difficult situations in our country.

As I began to write my history I took as much time as possible to describe all the different steps that were taken. At this time – I have been working on this project for 5 years and am still moving ahead. The information I received through your material has further encouraged me to move along. I am very pleased to have found this important material. Thank you!

Wow! This is such an informative post packed with tangible guidance. I poured my heart into a book. I’ve been a professional creative for years to include as a writer, mainly in the ad game and content. No editor. I wasn’t trying to make it as an author. Looking back, I think it’s all the stuff I needed to say. Therapy. Which does not, in and of itself, make for a coherent book. The level of writing garnering praise, but the book itself was a hot mess. So, this is helpful. I really put myself out there, which I’ve done in many areas, but the crickets response really got to me this time. I bought “Educated” as you recommended. Do you have any blog posts on memoirs that have something to say to the world, finding that “something” to say? It feels like that’s theme, but perhaps something more granular. Thanks for this fantastic post. If I had the moola, I would sign up for a class. Your time is and effort is appreciated. Typos likely on comments! LOL

thanks. God bless

I am a member of the “Reprobates”, a group of seven retired Royal Air Force pilots and navigators which has stayed in intermittent touch since we first met in Germany in 1969. Four of the group (all of whom are in their late seventies or early eighties) play golf together quite frequently, and we all gather for reunions once or twice a year. About a year ago, one of the Reprobates suggested posterity might be glad to hear the stories told at these gatherings, and there have since been two professionally conducted recording sessions, one in London, and one in Tarifa, Spain. The instigator of these recordings forwarded your website to his fellow Reprobates by way of encouragement to put pen to paper. And, I, for one, have found it inspiring. It’s high time I made a start on my Memoirs, thank you.

Thank you for sharing this, Tim! Happy writing!

Hi, I’m Jo. I’m finally jumping in and writing the memoir that has been running alongside me for at least the last 5 years. I’m terrified, of what I’m not 100% sure. The story won’t leave me alone and right now is the time to start my first draft. I’m approaching half way through what nature may call natural life on Earth, mid-life sounds strange to say. It just feels like the right time to document the journey thus far – especially the last decade. It’s been a radical time for transformation, internally and externally. I’m afraid but your post and these comments have helped.

Good luck on your memoir, Jo! I’m excited to hear more.

Leave a Comment Cancel Reply

Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.

Write a Great Memoir: How to Start (and Actually Finish) Your First Draft

by Joe Bunting | 1 comment

When I first started writing my memoir, Crowdsourcing Paris , about a real-life adventure I experienced with my wife and ten-month-old son, I thought it was going to be easy.

After all, by that point in my career, I had already written four books, two of which became bestsellers. I’ve got this, I thought. Simple.

It wasn’t. By the time Crowdsourcing Paris was published and became a #1 New Release on Amazon, it was more than five years later. During that time, I made just about every mistake, but I also learned a process that will reliably help anyone to start and finish writing a great memoir.

My memoir, Crowdsourcing Paris , as a #1 New Release on Amazon!

In this guide, I want to talk about how you can start writing your memoir, how you can actually finish it, and how you can make sure it’s good .

If you read this article from start to finish, it will save you hundreds of hours and result in a much better finished memoir.

Hot tip : Throughout this guide, I will be referencing my memoir Crowdsourcing Paris as an example. To get the most out of this guide and the memoir writing process in general, get a copy of the book to use as an example. Order your copy here »

But Wait! What Is a Memoir? (Memoir Definition)

How do you know if you're writing a memoir? Here's a quick memoir definition:

A memoir is a book length account or autobiography about a real life situation or event. It usually includes a pivotal experience in your life journey.

A key point to make is that memoir is a  true story . You don't have to get every piece of dialogue perfect, but you do have to try to tell the personal story or experience as best as you remember.

If you're looking to fictionalize your real life account you're writing a novel, not a memoir (and specifically a roman à clef novel ).

For more on the difference between a novel and a memoir, check out this coaching video:

How to Get Started With Your Memoir: 10 Steps Before You Start Writing

This guide is broken into sections: what to do before you start writing and how to write your first draft.

When most people decide to write a memoir, they just start writing. They write about the first life experience they can think of.

That’s sort of what I did too. I just started writing about my trip to Paris, beginning with how I first decided to go as a way to become a “real writer.” It turned out to be the biggest mistake I made.

If you want to finish your memoir, and even more, write a good memoir, just starting with the first memory you can think of will make things much harder for you.

Instead, get started with a memoir plan.

What’s a memoir plan? There are ten elements. Let’s break it down.

Get the memoir plan in a downloadable worksheet. Click to download your memoir plan »

1. Write Your Memoir Premise in One Sentence

The first part of a memoir plan is your premise. A premise is a one-sentence summary of your book idea.

You might be wondering, how can I summarize my entire life in a single sentence?

The answer is, you can’t. Memoir isn’t a full autobiography. It’s not meant to be a historical account of your entire life story. Instead, it should share one specific situation and what you learned from that situation.

Every memoir premise should contain three things:

• A Character. For your memoir, that character will always be you . For the purposes of your premise, though, it’s a good idea to practice thinking of yourself as the main character of your story. So describe yourself in third person and use one descriptive adjective, e.g. a cautious writer.
• A Situation. Memoirs are about a specific event, situation, or experience. For example, Marion Roach Smith’s bestselling memoir was about the discovery that her mother had Alzheimer’s, which at the time was a fairly unknown illness. My memoir, Crowdsourcing Paris , begins on the first day of my trip to Paris and ends on the day I left. You can’t write about everything, at least in this book. But you can write about one thing well, and save all the other ideas for the next book.
• A Lesson. What life lesson did you learn from this situation? How did your life change inexorably after going through this situation? Again, here you can’t write about everything you’ve ever learned. Choose ONE life lesson or emotional truth and focus on it.

Want to see how a premise actually looks? Here’s an example from my memoir Crowdsourcing Paris :

When a Cautious Writer is forced by his audience to do uncomfortable adventures in Paris he learns the best stories come when you get out of your comfort zone.

One thing to note: a premise is not a book description. My book description, which you can see here , is totally different from the premise. It’s more suspenseful and also less detailed in some ways. That’s because the purpose of a premise isn’t to sell books.

What is the premise of your memoir? Share it in the comments below!

2. Set a Deadline to Finish Your First Draft

Or if you’ve already finished a draft, set a deadline to finish your next draft.

This is crucial to do now , before you do anything else. Why? Because there are parts of the memoir plan that you can spend months, even years on. But while planning is helpful, it can easily become a distraction if you don’t get to the writing part of the process.

That’s why you want to put a time limit on your planning by setting a deadline.

How long should the deadline be?

Stephen King says you should write a first draft in no longer than a season. So ninety days.

In my 100 Day Book program, we’ve helped hundreds of memoir writers finish their book in just 100 days. To me, that’s a good amount of time to finish a first draft.

However, I wouldn’t take any longer than 100 days. Writing a book requires a level of focus that’s difficult to achieve over a long period of time. If you set your deadline for longer than 100 days, you might never finish.

Also set weekly milestones.

In addition to your final deadline, I recommend breaking up the writing process into weekly milestones.

If you’re going to write a 65,000-word memoir over 100 days, let’s say, then divide 65,000 by the number of weeks (about 14) to get your weekly word count goal: about 4,600 words per week.

That will give you a sense of how much progress you’re making each week, so you won’t be in a huge rush to finish right at the end of your deadline. After all, no one can pull an all-nighter and finish a book! Create a writing habit that will enable you to actually finish your book.

Keep track of your word count deadlines.

By the way, this is one reason I love Scrivener , my favorite book writing software , because it allows you to set a target deadline and word count. Then Scrivener automatically calculates how much you need to write every day to reach your deadline.

It’s a great way to keep track of your deadline and how much more you have to write. Check out my review of Scrivener to learn more.

3. Create Consequences to Make Quitting Hard

I’ve learned from experience that a deadline alone isn’t enough. You also have to give your deadline teeth .

Writing a book is hard. To make sure that you show up to the page and do the work you need to finish, you need to make it harder to not write.

How? By creating consequences.

I learned this from a friend of mine, writer and book marketing expert Tim Grahl .

“If you really want to finish your book,” he told me, “write a check for $1,000 to a charity you hate. Then give that check to a friend with instructions to send it if you don’t hit your deadline.”

“I don’t need to do that,” I told him. “I’m a pro. I have discipline.” But a month later, after I still hadn’t made any progress on my memoir, I finally decided to take his advice.

This was during the 2016 U.S. presidential election. So I wrote a $1,000 check to the presidential candidate that I most disliked (who shall remain nameless!), and gave it to a friend with instructions to send the check if I didn’t hit my final deadline.

I also created smaller consequences for the weekly deadlines, which I highly recommend. Here’s how it works:

Consequence #1 : Small consequence, preferably related to a guilty pleasure that might keep you from writing. For example, giving up a game on your phone or watching TV until you finish your book.

Consequence #2 : Giving up a guilty pleasure. For example, giving up ice cream, soda, or alcohol until you finish your book.

Consequence #3 : Send the $1,000 check to the charity you hate.

Each of these would happen if I missed three weekly deadlines. If I missed the final deadline, then just the $1,000 check would get sent.

After I put in each of these consequences, I was the most focused and productive I’ve ever been in my life. I finished my book in just nine weeks and never missed a deadline.

If you actually want to finish your memoir, give this process a try. I think you’ll be surprised by how well it works for you.

4. Decide What Kind of Story You’re Telling

Now that you’ve set your deadline, start thinking about what kind of book you’re writing. What is your story really about?

“Memoir is about something you know after something you’ve been through,” says Marion Roach Smith, author of The Memoir Project .

I think there are seven types of stories that most memoirs are about.

• Coming of Age. A story about a young person finding their place in the world. A great example is 7 Story Mountain  by Thomas Merton.
• Education. An education story , according to Kim Kessler and Story Grid, is about a naive character who, through the course of the story, comes to a bigger understanding of the world that gives meaning to their existing life. My memoir, Crowdsourcing Paris , is a great example of an education memoir.
• Love. A love story is about a romantic relationship, either the story of a breakup or of two characters coming together. Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert is a great example of a love story memoir, as it tells the story of her divorce and then re-discovering herself and love as she travels the world.
• Adventure/Action. All adventure stories are about life and death situations. Also, most travel memoirs are adventure stories. Wild by Cheryl Strayed is a great example, and Crowdsourcing Paris is also an adventure story. (You can apply the principles from our How to Write Adventure guide here , too!)
• Performance. Performance memoirs are about a big competition or a competitive pursuit. Julie and Julia , Julie Powell’s memoir about cooking her way through Julia Child’s recipes, is a good example of a performance memoir. Outlaw Platoon , about the longest-serving Ranger platoon in Afghanistan, is another great performance story.
• Thriller. Memoirs about abuse or even an illness could fall into the crime, horror, or thriller arena. (Our full guide on How to Write a Thriller is here .)
• Society. What is wrong with society? And how can you rebel against the status quo? Society stories are very common as memoirs. I would also argue that most humor memoirs are society stories, since they talk about one person’s funny, transgressive view on society. Anything by David Sedaris, for example, is a society memoir.

For more on all of these genres, check out Story Grid’s article How to Use Story Grid to Write a Memoir .

Three Stories

Note that I included my memoir in two categories. That’s because most books, including memoirs, are actually a combination of three stories. You have:

• An external story. For example, Crowdsourcing Paris is an adventure story.
• An internal story . As I said, Crowdsourcing Paris is an education story.
• A subplot . Usually the subplot is another external story, in my case, a love story.

What three stories are you telling in your memoir?

5. Visualize Your Intention

One of the things that I’ve learned as I’ve coached hundreds of writers to finish their books is that if you visualize the following you are much more likely to follow through and accomplish your writing goals:

• Where you're going to write
• When you're going to write
• How much you're going to write

Here I want you to actively visualize yourself at your favorite writing spot accomplishing the word count goal that you set in step two.

For example, when I was writing Crowdsourcing Paris , I would imagine myself sitting at this one café that was eight doors down from my office. I liked it because it had a little bit of a French feel. Then I would imagine myself there from eight in the morning until about ten.

Finally, I would actively visualize myself watching the word count tracker go from 999 to 1,000 words, which was my goal every day. Just that process of imagining my intention was so helpful.

What is your intention? Where, when, and how much will you write? Imagine yourself actually sitting there in the place you’re going to write your memoir.

6. Who Will Be On Your Team?

No one can write a book alone. I learned this the hard way, and the result was that it took me five years to finish my memoir.

For every other book that I had written, I had other people holding me accountable. Without my team, I know that I would never have written those books. But when I tried to write my memoir, I thought, I can do this on my own. I don’t need accountability, encouragement, and support. I’ve got this.

To figure out who you need to help you finish your memoir, create three different lists of people:

• Other writers. These are people who you can process, with who know the process of writing a book. Some will be a little bit ahead of you, so that when you get stuck, they can encourage you and say, “I’ve been there. You’re going to get through it. Keep working.”
• Readers. Or if you don’t have readers, friends and family. These will be the people who give you feedback on your finished book before it’s published, e.g. beta readers.
• Professional editors. But you also need professional feedback. I recommend listing two different editors here, a content editor to give feedback on the book as a whole (for example, I recommend a Write Practice Certified Coach), and a proofreader or line editor to help polish the final draft. (Having professional editing software is smart too. We like ProWritingAid. Check out our ProWritingAid review .)

Just remember: it takes a team to finish a book. Don’t try to do it on your own.

And if you don’t have relationships with other writers who can be on your team, check out The Write Practice Pro. This is the community I post my writing in to get feedback. Many of my best writing friends came directly from this community. You can learn more about The Write Practice Pro here .

7. What Other Books Will Inspire You?

“Books are made from books,” said Cormac McCarthy. Great writers learn how to write great books by reading other great books, and so should you.

I recommend finding three to five other memoirs that can inspire you during the writing process.

I recommend two criteria for the books you choose:

• Commercially successful. If you want your book to be commercially successful, choose other books that have done well in the marketplace.
• Similar story type. Try to find books that are the same story type that you learned in step four.

For my memoir, I had four main sources of inspiration.

Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert; The Innocents Abroad by Mark Twain; A Moveable Feast by Ernest Hemingway; and Midnight in Paris , the film by Woody Allen.

I referred back to these sources all the time. For example, when I was stuck on the climactic scene in the memoir, I watched one scene in A Midnight in Paris twenty times until I could quote the dialogue. I still didn’t come up with the solution until the next day, but understanding how other writers solved the problems I was facing helped me figure out my own solutions for my story.

8. Who Is Your Reader Avatar?

Who is your book going to be for? Or who is the one person you’ll think of when you write your book? When the writing gets hard and you want to quit, who will be most disappointed if you never finish your book?

I learned this idea from J.R.R. Tolkien, who wrote his novel The Hobbit for his three boys as a bedtime story. Every day he would work on his pages, and every night he would go home and read them to his sons. And this gave him an amazing way to get feedback. He knew whether they laughed at one part or got bored at another.

This helped him make his story better, but I also imagine it gave him a tremendous amount of motivation.

This Can Be You, Sort Of

I don’t think your reader avatar should be you. When it comes to your own writing, you are the least objective person.

There’s one caveat: you can be your own reader avatar IF you’re writing to a version of yourself at a different time. For example, I have friends who have imagined they were writing to a younger version of themselves.

Who will you write your memoir for?

9. Publishing and Marketing

How will you publish your book? Will you go the traditional route or will you self-publish? Who is your target market (check your reader avatar for help)? What will you do to promote and market your book? Do you have an author website ?

It might be strange to start planning for the publishing and marketing of your book before you ever start writing it, but what I’ve discovered is that when you think through the entire writing process, from the initial idea all the way through the publishing and marketing process, you are much more likely to finish your book.

In fact, in my 100 Day Book program, I found that people who finished this planning process were 52 percent more likely to finish their book.

Spend some time thinking about your publishing and marketing plans. Just thinking about it will help you when you start writing.

Start Building Your Audience Before You Need It

In the current publishing climate, most memoir agents and publishers want you to have some kind of relationship with an audience before they will consider your book.

Start building an audience before you need it. The first step to building an audience, and the first step to publishing in general, is building an author website. If you don’t have a website yet, you can find our full author website guide here .

(Building a website doesn’t have to be intimidating or time-consuming if you have the right guide.)

10. Outline Your Memoir

The final step of the planning process is your memoir outline . This could be the subject of a whole article itself. Here, I’ve learned so much from Story Grid, but if you don’t have time to read the book and listen to over 100 podcast episodes, here’s a quick and dirty process for you.

But First, for the Pantsers

There are two types of writers: the plotters and the pansters . Plotters like to outline. Pantsers think outlining crushes their creative freedom and hate it.

If you identify with the pantsers, that’s okay. Don’t worry too much about this step. I would still recommend writing something in this section of your memoir plan, even if you only know a few moments that will happen in the book, even recording a series of events might help as you plan.

And for you plotters, outline to your heart’s content, as long as you’ve already set your deadline!

Outlining Tips

When you’re ready to start outlining, here are a few tips:

• Begin by writing down all the big moments in your life that line up with your premise. Your premise is the foundation of your story. Anything outside of that premise should be cut.
• S eparate your life events into three acts. One of the most common story structures in writing is the three-act story structure. Act 1 should contain about 25 percent of your story, Act 2 about 50 percent of your story, and Act 3 about 25 percent.
• Act 1 should begin as late into the story as possible. In Crowdsourcing Paris , like most travel memoirs, I began the story the day I arrived in Paris.
• Use flashbacks, but carefully. Since I began Crowdsourcing Paris so late into the action, I used flashbacks to provide some details about what happened to lead up to the trip. Flashbacks can be overused, though, so only include full scenes and don’t info dump with flashbacks.
• Start big. The first scene in your book should be a good representation of what your book is about. So if you’re writing an adventure story (see Step 4), then you should have a life or death moment as the first scene. If you’re writing a love story, you should have a moment of love or love lost.
• End Act 1 with a decision. It is you, and specifically your decisions , that drive the action of your memoir. So what important decision did you make that will drive us into Act 2?
• Start Act 2 with your subplot. In Step 4, I said most books are made up of three stories. Your subplot is an important part of your book, and in most great stories, your subplot begins in Act 2.
• Act 2 begins with a period of “fun and games.” Save the Cat , one of my favorite books for writers, says that after the tension you built with the big decision in Act 1, the first few scenes in Act 2 should be fun and feel good, with things going relatively well for the protagonist.
• Center your second act on the “all is lost” moment. Great stories are about a character who comes to the end of him or herself. The all is lost moment is my favorite to write, because it’s where the character (in this case you ) has the most opportunity to grow. What is YOUR “all is lost” moment?
• Act 3 contains your final climactic moment. For Crowdsourcing Paris , this was the moment when I thought I was going to die. In a love story memoir, it might be when you finally work things out and commit to your partner.
• Act 3 is also where you show the big lesson of the memoir. Emphasis on show. Back in Step 1, you identified the lesson of your memoir. Act 3 is when you finally demonstrate what you’ve learned throughout the memoir in one major event.
• A tip for the final scene: end your memoir with the subplot. This gives a sense of completion to your story and works as a great final moment.

Use the tips above to create a rough outline of your memoir. Keep in mind, when you start writing, things might completely change. That’s okay! The point with your plan isn’t to be perfect. It’s to think through your story from beginning to end so that you’ll be prepared when you get to that point in the writing process.

Want to make this process as easy as possible? Get the memoir plan in a downloadable worksheet. Click to download your memoir plan »

That’s the end of the planning stage of this guide. Now let’s talk about how to write your first draft.

How to Write the First Draft of Your Memoir

If you’ve followed the steps above to create a memoir plan, you’ve done the important work. Writing a memoir, like writing any book, is hard. But it will actually be harder to not be successful if you’ve followed all the steps in the memoir plan.

But once you’ve created the “perfect” plan, it’s time to do the dirty work of writing a first draft.

In part two of our guide, you’ll learn how to write and finish a first draft.

1. Forget Perfection and Write Badly.

First drafts are messy. In fact, Anne Lamott calls them “shitty first drafts” because they are almost always terrible.

Even though I know that, though, any time I’m working on a new writing project, I still get it into my head that my first draft should be a masterpiece.

It usually takes me staring at a blank screen for a few hours before I admit defeat and just start writing.

If you’re reading this, don’t do that! Instead, start by writing badly.

Besides, when you’ve done the hard planning work, what you write will probably be a lot better than you think.

2. Willpower Doesn’t Work. Neither Does Inspiration. Instead, Use the “3 Minute Timer Trick.”

My biggest mistake when I began Crowdsourcing Paris was to think I had the willpower I needed as a professional writer and author of four books to finish the book on my own. Even worse, I thought I would be so inspired that the book would basically write itself.

I didn’t. It took not making much progress on my book for more than a year to realize I needed help.

The best thing you can do to help you focus on the writing process for your second draft is what we talked about in Step 4: Creating a Consequence.

But if you still need help, try my “3 Minute Timer Trick.” Here’s how it works:

• Set a timer for three minutes. Why three minutes? Because for me, I’m so distractible I can’t focus for more than three minutes. I think anyone can focus for three minutes though, even me.
• Write as fast as you can. Don’t think, just write!
• When the timer ends, write down your total word count in a separate document (see image below). Then subtract from the previous word count to calculate how many words you wrote during that session.
• Also write down any distractions during those three minutes. Did the phone ring? Did you have a tough urge to scroll through Facebook or play a game on your phone? Write it down.
• Then, repeat the process by starting the timer again. Can you beat your word count?

This process is surprisingly helpful, especially when you don’t feel like writing. After all, you might not have it in you to write for an hour, but anyone can write for three minutes.

And the amazing thing is that once you’ve started, you might find it much easier to keep going.

Other Tools for Writers

By the way, if you’re looking for the tools I use and other pro writers I know use, check out our Best Tools for Creative Writers guide here .

3. Make Your Weekly Deadlines.

You can’t finish your book in an all-nighter. That being said, you can finish a chapter of your book in an all-nighter.

That’s why it’s so important to have the weekly deadlines we talked about in Part 1, Step 2 of this guide.

By breaking up the writing process into a series of weekly deadlines, you give yourself an achievable framework to finish your book. And with the consequences you set in Step 3 of your memoir plan, you give your deadlines the teeth they need to hold you accountable.

And as I mentioned above, Scrivener is especially helpful for keeping track of deadlines (among other things). If you haven’t yet, check out my review of Scrivener here .

4. Keep Your Team Updated.

Having a hard time? It’s normal. Talk to your team about it.

It seems like when you’re writing a book, everything in the universe conspires against you. You get into a car accident, you get sick, you get into a massive fight with your spouse or family member, you get assigned a new project at your day job.

Writing a book would be hard enough on its own, but when you have the rest of your life to deal with, it can become almost impossible.

Without your team, which we talked about in Step 6 of your book plan, it would be.

For me, I would never have been able to finish one book, let alone the twelve that I’ve now finished, without the support, encouragement, and accountability of the other writers whom I call friends, the readers who believe in me, and most of all, my wife.

Remember: No book is finished alone. When things get hard, talk about it with your team.

And if you need a team, consider joining mine. The Write Practice Pro is a supportive encouraging community of writers and editors. It’s where I get feedback on my writing, and you can get it here too. Learn more about the community here.

5. Finally, Trust the Process.

When I walk writers through the first draft writing process, inevitably, around day sixty, they start to lose faith.

• They think their book is the all-time worst book ever written.
• They get a new idea they want to work on instead.
• They decide the dream to write a book and become a writer was foolish.
• They want to quit.

A few do quit at this point.

But the ones who keep going discover that in just a few weeks they’ve figured out most of the problems in their book, they’re on their last pages, and they’re almost finished.

It happens every time, even to me.

If you take nothing else from this post, please hear this: keep going. Never quit. If you follow this process from start to finish, you’re going to make it, and it’s going to be awesome.

I’m so excited for you.

How to Finish Your Memoir

More than half of this guide is about the planning process. That’s because if you start well, you’ll finish well.

If you create the right plan, then all that’s left is doing the hard, messy work of writing.

Without the right plan, it’s SO easy to get lost along the way.

That’s why I hope you’ll download my Memoir Plan Worksheet. Getting lost in the writing process is inevitable. This plan will become your map when it happens. Click to download the Memoir Plan Worksheet.

More than anything, though, I hope you’ll never quit. It took me five years to write Crowdsourcing Paris , but during that time I matured and grew so much as a writer and a person, all because I didn’t quit.

Even if it takes you five years, the life lessons you’ll learn as you write your book will be worth it.

And if you’re interested in a real-life adventure story set in Paris, I’d be honored if you’d read Crowdsourcing Paris . I think you’ll love it.

Good luck and happy writing.

More Writing Resources:

• How to Write a Memoir Outline: 7 Essential Steps For Your Memoir Outline
• 7 Steps to a Powerful Memoir
• The Memoir Project by Marion Roach Smith
• Crowdsourcing Paris by J.H. Bunting

Are you going to commit to writing a memoir (and never quitting, no matter what)? Let me know in the comments .

Summarize your memoir idea in the form of a one-sentence premise. Make sure it contains all three elements:

• A character
• A situation

Take fifteen minutes to craft your premise. When you’re finished, share your memoir premise in the Pro Practice Workshop for feedback. And if you share, please be sure to give feedback to three other writers. Not a member? Join us .

Joe Bunting

Joe Bunting is an author and the leader of The Write Practice community. He is also the author of the new book Crowdsourcing Paris , a real life adventure story set in France. It was a #1 New Release on Amazon. Follow him on Instagram (@jhbunting).

Want best-seller coaching? Book Joe here.

Work with Joe Bunting?

WSJ Bestselling author, founder of The Write Practice, and book coach with 14+ years experience. Joe Bunting specializes in working with Action, Adventure, Fantasy, Historical Fiction, How To, Literary Fiction, Memoir, Mystery, Nonfiction, Science Fiction, and Self Help books. Sound like a good fit for you?

One of my book chapters has been accepted for publication, but I lack confidence in the accuracy of what I have written. I have completed the chapter, but I would appreciate your assistance in improving its quality.

Submit a Comment Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Submit Comment

Join over 450,000 readers who are saying YES to practice. You’ll also get a free copy of our eBook 14 Prompts :

Popular Resources

Best Resources for Writers Book Writing Tips & Guides Creativity & Inspiration Tips Writing Prompts Grammar & Vocab Resources Best Book Writing Software ProWritingAid Review Writing Teacher Resources Publisher Rocket Review Scrivener Review Gifts for Writers

Books By Our Writers

You've got it! Just us where to send your guide.

Enter your email to get our free 10-step guide to becoming a writer.

You've got it! Just us where to send your book.

Enter your first name and email to get our free book, 14 Prompts.

Want to Get Published?

Enter your email to get our free interactive checklist to writing and publishing a book.

• Buy Custom Assignment
• Custom College Papers
• Buy Dissertation
• Buy Research Papers
• Buy Custom Term Papers
• Cheap Custom Term Papers
• Custom Courseworks
• Custom Thesis Papers
• Custom Expository Essays
• Custom Plagiarism Check
• Cheap Custom Essay
• Custom Case Study
• Custom Annotated Bibliography
• Custom Book Report
• How It Works
• Writing Guides
• +1 (888) 398 0091
• Essay Samples
• Essay Topics
• Research Topics
• Writing Tips

How to Write a Memoir Essay

October 12, 2023

What is a Memoir Essay?

A memoir essay is a form of autobiographical writing that focuses on a specific aspect of the author’s life. Unlike a traditional autobiography, which typically covers the author’s entire life, a memoir essay hones in on a particular event, time period, or theme. It is a deeply personal and reflective piece that allows the writer to delve into their memories, thoughts, and emotions surrounding their chosen subject.

In a memoir essay, the author aims to not only recount the events that took place but also provide insight into the impact and meaning of those experiences. It is a unique opportunity for self-discovery and exploration, while also offering readers a glimpse into the author’s world. The beauty of a memoir essay lies in its ability to weave together personal anecdotes, vivid descriptions, and introspective reflections to create a compelling narrative.

Writing a memoir essay can be both challenging and rewarding. It requires careful selection of memories, thoughtful introspection, and skillful storytelling. The process allows the writer to make sense of their past, gain a deeper understanding of themselves, and share their unique story with others.

Choosing a Topic for Your Memoir Essay

Selecting the right topic is crucial to write a good memoir essay. It sets the foundation for what you will explore and reveal in your personal narrative. When choosing a topic, it’s essential to reflect on your significant life experiences and consider what stories or themes hold the most meaning for you.

One approach is to think about moments or events that have had a profound impact on your life. Consider times of triumph or adversity, moments of exploration or self-discovery, relationships that have shaped you, or challenges you have overcome. These experiences can provide a rich foundation for your memoir essay.

Another option is to focus on a specific theme or aspect of your life. You might explore topics such as identity, family dynamics, cultural heritage, career milestones, or personal beliefs. By centering your essay around a theme, you can weave together various memories and reflections to create a cohesive narrative.

It’s also important to consider your target audience. Who do you want to connect with through your memoir essay? Understanding your audience’s interests and experiences can help you choose a topic that will resonate with them.

Ultimately, the topic should be one that excites you and allows for introspection and self-discovery. Choose a topic that ignites your passion and offers a story worth sharing.

Possible Memoir Essay Topics

• Childhood Memories
• Family Dynamics
• Life-altering Events
• Overcoming Societal Expectations
• Love and Loss
• Self-discovery and Transformation
• Lessons from Nature
• Journey from Darkness to Light
• Triumphing Over Adversities
• Life’s Defining Moments

Outlining the Structure of Your Memoir Essay

Writing a memoir essay allows you to share your personal experiences, reflections, and insights with others. However, before you start pouring your thoughts onto the page, it’s essential to outline the structure of your essay. This not only provides a clear roadmap for your writing but also helps you maintain a cohesive and engaging narrative.

First, consider the opening. Begin with a captivating introduction that hooks the reader and establishes the theme or central message of your memoir. This is your chance to grab their attention and set the tone for the rest of the essay.

Next, move on to the body paragraphs. Divide your essay into sections that chronologically or thematically explore different aspects of your life or experiences. Use vivid descriptions, anecdotes, and dialogue to bring your memories to life. It’s crucial to maintain a logical flow and transition smoothly between different ideas or events.

As you approach the conclusion, summarize the key points you’ve discussed and reflect on the significance of your experiences. What lessons have you learned? How have you grown or changed as a result? Wrap up your memoir essay by leaving the reader with a memorable takeaway or a thought-provoking question.

Remember, the structure of your memoir essay should support your storytelling and allow for a genuine and authentic exploration of your experiences. By outlining your essay’s structure, you’ll have a solid foundation to create a compelling and impactful memoir that resonates with your readers.

How to Write an Introduction for Your Memoir Essay

The introduction of your memoir essay sets the stage for your story and captivates your readers from the very beginning. It is your opportunity to grab their attention, establish the tone, and introduce the central theme of your memoir.

To create a compelling introduction, consider starting with a hook that intrigues your readers. This can be a surprising fact, a thought-provoking question, or a vivid description that immediately draws them in. Your goal is to make them curious and interested in what you have to say.

Next, provide a brief overview of what your memoir essay will explore. Give your readers a glimpse into the key experiences or aspects of your life that you will be sharing. However, avoid giving away too much detail. Leave room for anticipation and curiosity to keep them engaged.

Additionally, consider how you want to establish the tone of your memoir. Will it be reflective, humorous, or nostalgic? Choose your words and phrasing carefully to convey the right emotions and set the right atmosphere for your story.

Finally, end your introduction with a clear and concise thesis statement. This statement should express the central theme or message that your memoir will convey. It serves as a roadmap for your essay and guides your readers in understanding the purpose and significance of your memoir.

By crafting a strong and captivating introduction for your memoir essay, you will draw readers in and make them eager to dive into the rich and personal journey that awaits them.

Write the Main Body of Your Memoir Essay

When developing the main body of your memoir essay, it’s essential to structure your thoughts and experiences in a clear and engaging manner. Here are some tips to help you effectively organize and develop the main body of your essay:

• Chronological Structure: Consider organizing your memoir essay in chronological order, following the sequence of events as they occurred in your life. This allows for a natural flow and a clear timeline that helps readers understand your personal journey.
• Thematic Structure: Alternatively, you can focus on specific themes or lessons that emerged from your experiences. This approach allows for a more focused exploration of different aspects of your life, even if they did not occur in a linear order.
• Use Vivid Details: Use sensory details, descriptive language, and engaging storytelling techniques to bring your memories to life. Transport your readers to the settings, evoke emotions, and create a vivid picture of the events and people in your life.
• Show, Don’t Tell: Instead of simply stating facts, show your readers the experiences through engaging storytelling. Use dialogue, scenes, and anecdotes to make your memoir more dynamic and immersive.
• Reflections and Insights: Share your reflections on the events and experiences in your memoir. Offer deeper insights, lessons learned, and personal growth that came from these moments. Invite readers to reflect on their own lives and connect with your journey.

By organizing your main body in a logical and engaging manner, using vivid details, and offering thoughtful reflections, you can write a compelling memoir essay that captivates your readers and leaves a lasting impact.

Reflecting on Lessons Learned in Your Memoir Essay

One of the powerful aspects of a memoir essay is the opportunity to reflect on the lessons learned from your personal experiences. These reflections provide deeper insights and meaning to your story, leaving a lasting impact on your readers. Here are some tips for effectively reflecting on lessons learned in your memoir essay:

• Summarize Key Points: In the conclusion of your essay, summarize the key events and experiences you have shared throughout your memoir. Briefly remind readers of the significant moments that shaped your journey.
• Identify Core Themes: Reflect on the core themes and messages that emerged from your experiences. What did you learn about resilience, love, identity, or perseverance? Identify the overarching lessons that you want to convey.
• Offer Personal Insights: Share your personal insights and reflections on how these lessons have influenced your life. Were there specific turning points or moments of epiphany? How have these experiences shaped your beliefs, values, or actions?
• Connect to the Reader: Make your reflections relatable to your readers. Explore how the lessons you learned can resonate with their own lives and experiences. This allows them to connect with your story on a deeper level.
• Offer a Call to Action: Encourage readers to reflect on their own lives and consider how the lessons from your memoir can apply to their own journeys. Pose thought-provoking questions or suggest actions they can take to apply these insights.

By reflecting on the lessons learned in your memoir essay, you give your readers a chance to contemplate their own lives and find inspiration in your personal growth. These reflections add depth and impact to your storytelling, making your memoir essay truly memorable.

Crafting a Strong Conclusion for Your Memoir Essay

The conclusion of your memoir essay is your final opportunity to leave a lasting impression on your readers. It is where you tie together the threads of your story and offer a sense of closure and reflection. Here are some tips to help you craft a strong conclusion for your memoir essay:

• Summarize the Journey: Remind your readers of the key moments and experiences you shared throughout your essay. Briefly summarize the significant events and emotions that shaped your personal journey.
• Revisit the Central Theme: Reiterate the central theme or message of your memoir. Emphasize the lessons learned, personal growth, or insights gained from your experiences. This helps reinforce the purpose and impact of your story.
• Reflect on Transformation: Reflect on how you have transformed as a result of the events and experiences you shared. Share the growth, self-discovery, or newfound perspectives that have shaped your life.
• Leave a Lasting Impression: Use powerful and evocative language to leave a lasting impact on your readers. Craft a memorable phrase or thought that lingers in their minds even after they finish reading your essay.
• Offer a Call to Action or Reflection: Encourage your readers to take action or reflect on their own lives. Pose thought-provoking questions, suggest further exploration, or challenge them to apply the lessons from your memoir to their own experiences.

By crafting a strong conclusion, you ensure that your memoir essay resonates with your readers long after they have finished reading it. It leaves them with a sense of closure, inspiration, and a deeper understanding of the transformative power of personal storytelling.

Editing and Proofreading Your Memoir Essay

Editing and proofreading are crucial steps in the writing process that can greatly enhance the quality and impact of your memoir essay. Here are some tips to help you effectively edit and proofread your work:

• Take a Break: After completing your initial draft, take a break before starting the editing process. This allows you to approach your essay with fresh eyes and a clear mind.
• Review for Structure and Flow: Read through your essay to ensure it has a logical structure and flows smoothly. Check that your paragraphs and sections transition seamlessly, guiding readers through your story.
• Trim and Refine: Eliminate any unnecessary or repetitive information. Trim down long sentences and paragraphs to make your writing concise and impactful. Consider the pacing and ensure that each word contributes to the overall story.
• Check for Clarity and Consistency: Ensure that your ideas and thoughts are expressed clearly. Identify any confusing or vague passages and revise them to improve clarity. Check for consistency in tense, tone, and voice throughout your essay.
• Proofread for Errors: Carefully proofread your essay for spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors. Pay attention to common mistakes such as subject-verb agreement, verb tenses, and punctuation marks. Consider using spell-checking tools or having someone else review your work for an objective perspective.
• Seek Feedback: Share your memoir essay with a trusted friend, family member, or writing partner. Their feedback can provide valuable insights and help you identify areas for improvement.

By dedicating time to edit and proofread your memoir essay, you ensure that it is polished, coherent, and error-free. These final touches enhance the reader’s experience and allow your story to shine.

Sociology Research Topics Ideas

Importance of Computer in Nursing Practice Essay

History Research Paper Topics For Students

By clicking “Continue”, you agree to our terms of service and privacy policy. We’ll occasionally send you promo and account related emails.

Latest Articles

Debating in class or composing a persuasive paper is a fruitful intellectual practice. Doing so, participants and writers are expected...

Most students wonder whether it is possible to cite an article in an essay. The answer is “Yes”! Why not...

Let us explain what is what and how it can be used. An anthology is a published collection of poems...

I want to feel as happy, as your customers do, so I'd better order now

We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. By clicking “Accept All”, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. However, you may visit "Cookie Settings" to provide a controlled consent.

Writing the Memoir (Moxley): Introduction

• Introduction
• Tips for Writing the Memoir
• Annotated Memoirs
• Describing a Person
• Describing a Place
• Sample Topics and Essays

Introduction to Writing the Memoir

Teaching and writing the memoir .

            A memoir can be one of the most meaningful essays that a student can write and one of the most engaging essays for a teacher to read.  The spirit generated by the memoir can create class fellowship less attainable through subjects requiring pure analysis, description, or narration.  More than any other subject, a memoir demands that a student bring his sensibilities and experiences to school, and when that happens, it is virtually impossible for anyone to accept a mediocrity of passion.  Students and teachers are likely to treat writing as an experience in itself, a means for writers to understand their lives and for teachers to understand their students’ worlds.

              In Terrains of the Heart, Willie Morris writes,

  If it is true that a writer's world is shaped by the experience of childhood and adolescence, then returning at long last to the scenes of those experiences, remembering them anew and living among their changing heartbeats, gives him, as Marshall Frady said, the primary pulses and shocks he cannot afford to lose. I have never denied the poverty, the smugness, the cruelty which have existed in my native state [ Mississippi ].  Meanness is everywhere, but here the meanness, and the nobility, have for me their own dramatic edge, for the fools are my fools, and the heroes are mine too.

  As a young editor who left his native state for New York City, Willie Morris wrote prolifically about his hot Mississippi youth from the cold Northeast.  His essays on home preserve a way of life in the Delta—a complicated history marked by romance and violence—while he lived in a New York far removed from this past.  We sense when reading Willie Morris’s carefully crafted memories that he is coming to know himself through his writing and, in a broader sense, has resurrected a world that can help others understand their own lives.

            To both student and teacher, this is what I hope teaching and writing the memoir will give you:  a chance to investigate your past, your culture, and your lives in general, and in so doing, create a community of authors who delight in the struggle to write clearly, meaningfully, and correctly.

The Rationale

              By clicking here , or by opening the above tab, Annotated Memoirs, you will go to a list of six types of essays, each of which is hyperlinked to a sample essay and a discussion of it. 

              Each sample annotated essay will have the following:

1.  an introduction that comments on the type of essay and how it may generate good writing from young students;

2.  a link to the essay so you can open or print it;

3.  a discussion of the essay, called “The Craft of the Essay,” which explains the strategy in each paragraph or “part” of the essay so that the teacher and student can see how the memoir was crafted from the bare memory.  This section should encourage teacher and student to scrutinize the essay together during a read-aloud session to determine how they think the memory was turned into memoir;

4.  an “Assignment” section that gives the student some specific questions to answer that might help them see the further craft of the particular memoir.

Teaching Strategies

              As with any assignment, the teaching strategy depends on the size of the class, the amount of time allotted for the assignment, how much it is weighted, and so forth.

            Ideally, teaching the memoir should take 6-7 nights of homework.  These nights could be spaced over the course of two-three weeks.

            You could also make it a lighter assignment and cut it to 3-4 assignments, with only one rough draft, instead of the two I suggest.

Homework Assignment #1: 

              The teacher/class decides which category of memoir they will read together as a class to introduce the assignment.  For example, you may choose from the Annotated Memoirs to read the Writing about Death and Mortality assignment and its sample annotated essay “Death of a Pig” by E. B. White.  For this night’s homework, the students should print out the assignment and essay at home to bring to class as their text.  They should read the essay, read the “Craft of the Essay” discussion, and then answer on paper the questions under the “Assignment” section. 

            In class the next day, read the essay aloud (or as much of it as possible), go over the “Craft of the Essay” and finish the day having the students explain their responses to the “Assignment.”

            If there is any time left, you might get the students to discuss the topic, “Where does memory begin?” ( Click here for a passage from Willie Morris's Taps to get the ball rolling. )

  Homework Assignment #2:

              Open the  Sample Topics and Essays  tab to find numerous topics and sample essays.  Decide whether everyone is going to write the same type of essay or whether the topic will be open to a variety of memoirs.  Then read a few sample essays for the topic you choose. 

Written homework is to sit for 40 minutes and do a “fast write,” in which the student writes about half of the first draft of the memory, paying no attention to grammar, style, syntax, or organization. This assignment is to get the student to write or type 2-3 pages of his memory with some, but minimal, revision (the revision should take place after the fast-write).  Click on the tab, Tips for Writing the Memoir, for some help getting started after the fast-write.

            In class the next day, students will read aloud what they have written.  The object is to hear one or two inspiring accounts so that each student can “get the hang of the assignment.”  The teacher should be pushing everyone to develop his “voice.”   Again, see Tips for Writing the Memoir  for a discussion of voice and other terms.

  Homework Assignment #3: 

              Continue where the students left off in Assignment #2 and try to write 4-5 handwritten, or 3-4 typed, pages.  If someone does not like what he/she did in Assignment #2, then start anew.

            In class the next day, have the students read aloud their work.  By the end of this day everyone should have read his/her essay at least once, either on this day or the day before.  The teacher should keep track of who has read.  Again, note how distinct the students’ written voices are, and who is putting in moments of self-reflection and not getting hung up on chronological retelling.

  Homework Assignment #4:

              By this time the students should know the focus of their essay (in other words, what wisdom, revelation, or general idea that their essay is revealing) and should begin “crafting,” or creatively organizing, the memory to become a memoir.

            It is crucial that the student realize that facts are not solely important.  Good memoirs are a blend of fact and creation; this concept will be tough to defend, but the writers of memoir have flexibility regarding the facts of the memory, since it is the “truth” of the memory they are creating; sometimes the facts are too confusing or pallid to have the needed color to make a memory vivid.  For a memory to become memoir, it needs a larger-than-life appeal.  ( Click here for some comments by Dorothy Gallagher on fact versus truth in memoir. )

To craft the essay, for homework (5-10 minutes) try having them draw a timeline of the way the memory works; in class the teacher can draw the timeline of other successful sample essays.  They will see that many essays about a lost loved one starts at the funeral, flashes back to the life, and at the end returns to the funeral.  Flashbacks are crucial to building characters, dead or alive

            Also ask them to outline what they have written as best they can (10-15 minute assignment).  Then, looking at their outlines, they may see a way to restructure the telling of the memory to get the most out of it. 

            The students should be encouraged to imitate the structure of essays that resemble the one they are writing.

            With all this in mind, they should go back and begin writing a new draft for 30 minutes.  In class the next day, have them report on what they’ve changed and have them read some first paragraphs aloud.

    Homework Assignment #5:

              Finish draft number 2.  The students should be keeping track of their rough drafts, as their grade will be based as much on effort and process as on final product.  By now the essays should have incorporated a number of ways to build character, place, and their focus:  short dialogue, concrete descriptions, anecdotes, and moments of reflection.

            Have each student read his or her first 3-4 sentences.  Urge everyone to listen intently and decide which of these sentences should be the first one in the essay.  Frequently, the first paragraph or two can be cut.  It takes most writers about 100 or more words to get warmed up.  Remind them of the Truman Capote Rule:  “I believe more in the scissors than I do the pencil.”

  Homework Assignment #6:

              The final essay is due, approximately 4-5 typed pages.  The student should turn in at least two verifiable rough drafts and the final draft.  The teacher will have heard every student’s paper at least once and should have encouraged each student to drop by for 5-10 minutes during the last 4-5 days to discuss the progress of the memoir.

            The process of this assignment should be weighted as heavily as the final product.  I usually check that the student has written two drafts, contributed to class workshops, and has revised carefully by showing he has learned: 

  (1) to start strategically;

(2) to create the various characters through description, action, anecdote, and brief dialogue;

(3) to create place and atmosphere through concrete description, temperature, climate, and telling details;

(4) to build a strong focus through moments of self-reflection;

(5) to organize strategically, dividing his essay into many paragraphs, some short, some long;

(6) to unify his essay so that, although it may wander, it ultimately returns to some unifying point or image;

(7) to punctuate and write solid sentences that create a pleasing variety and rhythm.

• Willie Morris's "Taps"
• Comments by Dorothy Gallagher
• Next: Tips for Writing the Memoir >>
• Last Updated: Jan 18, 2024 11:10 AM
• URL: https://libguides.montgomerybell.edu/memoir

Related Topics

• How to Write a Book
• Writing a Book for the First Time
• How to Write an Autobiography
• How Long Does it Take to Write a Book?
• Do You Underline Book Titles?
• Snowflake Method
• Book Title Generator
• How to Write Nonfiction Book
• How to Write a Children's Book

How to Write a Memoir

• Mistakes to Avoid When Writing a Book
• How to Write a Book Title
• How to Write a Book Introduction
• How to Write a Dedication in a Book
• How to Write a Book Synopsis
• Types of Writers
• How to Become a Writer
• Author Overview
• Document Manager Overview
• Screenplay Writer Overview
• Technical Writer Career Path
• Technical Writer Interview Questions
• Technical Writer Salary
• Google Technical Writer Interview Questions
• How to Become a Technical Writer
• UX Writer Career Path
• Google UX Writer
• UX Writer vs Copywriter
• UX Writer Resume Examples
• UX Writer Interview Questions
• UX Writer Skills
• How to Become a UX Writer
• UX Writer Salary
• Google UX Writer Overview
• Google UX Writer Interview Questions
• Technical Writing Certifications
• Grant Writing Certifications
• UX Writing Certifications
• Proposal Writing Certifications
• Content Design Certifications
• Knowledge Management Certifications
• Medical Writing Certifications
• Grant Writing Classes
• Business Writing Courses
• Technical Writing Courses
• Content Design Overview
• Documentation Overview
• User Documentation
• Process Documentation
• Technical Documentation
• Software Documentation
• Knowledge Base Documentation
• Product Documentation
• Process Documentation Overview
• Process Documentation Templates
• Product Documentation Overview
• Software Documentation Overview
• Technical Documentation Overview
• User Documentation Overview
• Knowledge Management Overview
• Knowledge Base Overview
• Publishing on Amazon
• Amazon Authoring Page
• Self-Publishing on Amazon
• How to Publish
• How to Publish Your Own Book
• Document Management Software Overview
• Engineering Document Management Software
• Healthcare Document Management Software
• Financial Services Document Management Software
• Technical Documentation Software
• Knowledge Management Tools
• Knowledge Management Software
• HR Document Management Software
• Enterprise Document Management Software
• Knowledge Base Software
• Process Documentation Software
• Documentation Software
• Internal Knowledge Base Software
• Grammarly Premium Free Trial
• Grammarly for Word
• Scrivener Templates
• Scrivener Review
• How to Use Scrivener
• Ulysses vs Scrivener
• Character Development Templates
• Screenplay Format Templates
• Book Writing Templates
• API Writing Overview
• Business Writing Examples
• Business Writing Skills
• Types of Business Writing
• Dialogue Writing Overview
• Grant Writing Overview
• Medical Writing Overview
• How to Write a Novel
• How to Write a Thriller Novel
• How to Write a Fantasy Novel
• How to Start a Novel
• How Many Chapters in a Novel?
• Mistakes to Avoid When Writing a Novel
• Novel Ideas
• How to Plan a Novel
• How to Outline a Novel
• How to Write a Romance Novel
• Novel Structure
• How to Write a Mystery Novel
• Novel vs Book
• Round Character
• Flat Character
• How to Create a Character Profile
• Nanowrimo Overview
• How to Write 50,000 Words for Nanowrimo
• Camp Nanowrimo
• Nanowrimo YWP
• Nanowrimo Mistakes to Avoid
• Proposal Writing Overview
• Screenplay Overview
• How to Write a Screenplay
• Screenplay vs Script
• How to Structure a Screenplay
• How to Write a Screenplay Outline
• How to Format a Screenplay
• How to Write a Fight Scene
• How to Write Action Scenes
• How to Write a Monologue
• Short Story Writing Overview
• Technical Writing Overview
• UX Writing Overview
• Reddit Writing Prompts
• Romance Writing Prompts
• Flash Fiction Story Prompts
• Dialogue and Screenplay Writing Prompts
• Poetry Writing Prompts
• Tumblr Writing Prompts
• Creative Writing Prompts for Kids
• Creative Writing Prompts for Adults
• Fantasy Writing Prompts
• Horror Writing Prompts
• Book Writing Software
• Novel Writing Software
• Screenwriting Software
• ProWriting Aid
• Writing Tools
• Literature and Latte
• Hemingway App
• Final Draft
• Writing Apps
• Grammarly Premium
• Wattpad Inbox
• Microsoft OneNote
• Google Keep App
• Technical Writing Services
• Business Writing Services
• Content Writing Services
• Grant Writing Services
• SOP Writing Services
• Script Writing Services
• Proposal Writing Services
• Hire a Blog Writer
• Hire a Freelance Writer
• Hire a Proposal Writer
• Hire a Memoir Writer
• Hire a Speech Writer
• Hire a Business Plan Writer
• Hire a Script Writer
• Hire a Legal Writer
• Hire a Grant Writer
• Hire a Technical Writer
• Hire a Book Writer
• Hire a Ghost Writer

Home » Blog » How to Write a Memoir in 30 Steps

How to Write a Memoir in 30 Steps

Generate Full-Length AI Book Instantly

Table of contents.

Have you ever wanted to share your life story with the world? Well, you’re in the right place. Writing a personal memoir is a powerful and cathartic way to preserve your memories, impart wisdom, and connect with readers on a personal level.

What is a Memoir?

Memoir vs. autobiography, final remarks.

The word memoir means memory.

A memoir is a narrative that captures significant moments or experiences from an individual’s life, focusing on the emotions, lessons, and personal growth that arise from these events. Unlike an autobiography, which covers the entirety of a person’s life, a memoir centers around specific themes or impactful events.

This means that your book will center around certain memories written by you that have changed or affected you during your lifetime.

Your theme will determine the type of memoir you will be writing. The important thing is to have a theme and stick to it. Possible themes can include:

• Tragedy and redemption

Writing a memoir involves several crucial steps that guide you from the initial idea to a polished, compelling narrative. Whether you’re a seasoned fiction writer or a beginner, you can effectively share your life experiences by following these steps:

1. Choose a Theme

If you have looked up how to write a memoir, the likelihood is that you already have something in mind you feel drawn to write.  But if you are unsure of your theme or have few to choose from, try this simple exercise:

• Write down any events in your life you think have had a large emotional impact on you, or have changed you in some way.
• Keep a note of this in your pocket and add it to the list anytime you remember something of significance.
• Check the list once you think you have everything you can think of. Then write down and choose the event that elicits the largest emotional response or the one you are most enthused to write about.

If this doesn’t work, the best way to work out your main theme is to write a lot. The subject you find yourself most focused on? That’s your theme.

2. Create an Outline

Creating an outline is an essential step in writing a memoir. It provides a roadmap that helps you stay organized and ensures your narrative flows logically. Here’s how to start:

• Identify Key Events: List the significant moments you want to include in your memoir. These should align with your chosen theme and highlight pivotal points in your life.
• Organize Chronologically or Thematically: Decide whether to arrange these events in chronological order or group them by themes. This choice will shape the structure of your memoir.
• Detail Each Chapter: For each key event, jot down the main points you want to cover. Consider the emotions, lessons, and character development that each chapter will convey.
• Include Subplots and Supporting Characters: Weave in subplots and secondary characters that add depth to your story. These elements can provide contrast and enrich the main narrative.

An outline doesn’t have to be rigid. Use it as a flexible guide that can evolve as your memoir progresses.

If you are looking to get started right away, then generate a custom memoir outline with AI:

3. Check Yourself

Memoir can be a very sensitive and emotional genre to write. It can involve exploring difficult emotional issues and revisiting painful experiences that run deep.

So take your time. If you do not feel like you have healed from these experiences, make sure to get emotional support from a friend, family member, or trusted therapist.

If writing is a painful experience, then perhaps journaling or dropping it altogether for some time is a good idea. Remember, you are more important than art.

4. Read (A Lot)

You will need to read many memoirs to find out how to write a memoir. Watch films about other people’s lives, or read memoir examples from those who inspire you or have a similar story. Note what you liked or what stood out to you as emotionally impactful.

Notice how other people’s writing influences your style. This can be a good thing. As you incorporate other styles, you will find your unique style of writing.

Some memoir examples you may have read (or may want to read) are:

• Boy, Roald Dahl
• Eat pray love, Elizabeth Gilbert
• Why be happy when you could be normal? Jeannette Winterson
• I know why the caged bird sings, Maya Angelou
• Thunderdog, Michael Hingson, Susy Flory
• A street cat named Bob, James Bowen
• As I walked out one midsummer morning, Laurie Lee
• A moveable feast, Ernest Hemingway
• I am Malala, Malala Yousafzai

If you are looking for memoir ideas, especially those that resonate deeply with readers, consider exploring themes of coming of age, which involve self-discovery, personal growth, and the challenges and triumphs of growing up.

By tapping into these universal experiences and emotions, you can make your story more relatable and engaging for a broad audience.

5. Think About Who You’re Writing a Memoir For

Many writers write for themselves. This can work well. If you find something interesting or emotional, often your readers will, too.

Other writers will have ‘reader consciousness’ from the very beginning . Either way, at some point, the reader must be included in the mix. But it’s a balance. You need both.

When considering how to write a memoir, it can help to have a reader in mind. Steven King writes for his mother and wife. If you’re writing a memoir about domestic violence, you may be writing to another survivor, real or imaginary.

The first draft can be written just for you. But by the third draft, your editor will be considering the reader’s experience. And if you want them to love it, then you should, too.

6. Write for the Right Reasons

One thing to know is, that this is not the place to just vent feelings about annoying people or events. It’s about overcoming the difficulties of life, not moaning about them.

If you have written 800,000 words about your exhausting trek up Mount Kilimanjaro, there will be golden moments hidden within the text. But no reader is going to wade through that much detail. So cut it out.

Neither is your book a place to get revenge. So, if you have some grudge against your 9th-grade teacher and want to get your own back, this is not the place to do it. If you want to feel good about using that anger, you’d be better off using it in a fictional piece of writing as fuel for one of your more unpleasant characters.

7. Know your Reasons and Find a Path

Everyone has a reason for writing a memoir. Work out yours. It will help guide you when you feel like giving up.

Every writer has a unique journey to publication. Don’t feel pressured to follow all the advice—use what works for you and discard the rest. If a particular tip resonates with you, embrace it and make it part of your writing process.

If you feel lost, you may try all of them and see what you think. But never let a plan or memoir outline make you think you don’t know what you are doing.

Your insights and instincts will guide you much better than any article post can. And that is what gives your book your stamp. It’s what makes your book truly yours . So trust yourself.

8. Just Start

Writing a memoir isn’t always a breeze; it’s like crafting a true story that reads like a novel . Condensing your life’s events into a compelling narrative can be even more challenging than fiction. However, the reward is deeply satisfying.

Sharing your personal life experiences here , ones that impacted you profoundly is a unique and fulfilling endeavor. Hopefully, your memoir will positively influence your readers and the world.

When starting your powerful memoirs , jot down what inspires you. Perhaps a life-altering experience, like a car crash, gave you a fresh perspective worth sharing. Write down your ideas and related stories.

Establishing a writing routine can work wonders, making writing a habit, just like brushing your teeth. In the initial draft, let it all out without reservations – vent and spill your thoughts onto the page.

Considering how to begin can be overwhelming. To ease your concerns, practice freewriting and use writing prompts regularly. These exercises help you get into the writing groove and settle into your writing sessions effortlessly.

Use Squibler ’s Smart Writer to write with the help of AI. Just explain your narrative to the AI tool, and it will handle the rest of the work and generate the content in a matter of seconds for you. This way, you can focus on your story while the AI takes care of grammar, language, and punctuation.

9. Write (A Lot)

Writing a memoir is easy. One sure way to know how to write a book is to write a lot. Try not to worry too much about anything in the beginning stages. Just make sure to express everything you have to express.

If you want a simple plan to get you started writing , try thinking up three different titles that relate to your theme. Don’t expect any of them to be the final title, but for the sake of writing, pick one.

Next, write out three possible first lines for your novel. You want to hook readers in. Again, this is just a practice exercise and the first line is to change during the rewrite.

Then, once you have this, decide on your most intense memory. This can be your climax.

Use an AI tool like Squibler to help with this phase. You provide the instructions to the AI and it will generate the content for you. Not just writing, but you can also rewrite, expand, and add more intensity, conflict, examples, and details to your memoir with the help of AI. 

10. Plan/Don’t Plan

There are two types of writers, those who plan and those who don’t. A plotter is called just that, and a ‘pantser’ is a writer who does not plot before writing but instead prefers to fly by the seat of their pants. There is no right way to get to your finished product, but this is something to consider.

If you are a pantser, you will want to write at first – write a lot of your story, everything, even things that don’t seem relevant or interesting. Explore every avenue. That free flow will mean the nuggets of the story – the real emotional gems can be mined afterward. You will then later need to tussle with the idea of some kind of structure as you bring it all together.

If you are a planner, on the other hand, you will already know what you are going to be writing. This may save you some time, but it doesn’t make rewriting any less important. This means writing each section several times to make sure you have the strongest prose possible. The first chapter of Harry Potter was rewritten 20 times before JK was satisfied, so bear that in mind.

If you want to write a memoir outline in detail, you will want to make a note of who is in each scene, the location, date, conflict, and the momentum of each scene (i.e. what the result will be). 

Online tools, such as Squibler can, of course, help with this process. While this is useful, make sure you don’t get too bogged down in the details. And to allow it some room to breathe. That could mean allowing some extra time before or after your planned scene to write and just see what happens.

11. Don’t Be Afraid of Bad Writing

Don’t be discouraged if your first draft is terrible. It’s meant to be. That’s why it’s a first draft.

If you’re not happy with the content of your work, don’t be afraid to get rid of what you’ve done and start all over again. Sometimes you need a fresh slate.

Mostly, however, you need time, and a lot more words down on the page, before you discover anything worth putting in the final manuscript.

12. Have a Variety of Characters

Just like a novel, you will want to have a variety of characters featured within your memoir. Make sure they are interesting and varied i.e. don’t have all good or all bad characters. Even if your memoir focuses on someone stuck in a box for two days, you can draw characters out of the woodwork by using flashbacks.

A great example of this is Richard from Texas calling our main character ‘groceries’ throughout the entire book . This term of endearment, along with his description of looking like James Taylor, gives us a clear depiction of a character who would otherwise have been flat .

You can plot your characters, and store their description and details inside Squibler. The character profile is stored and you can always invoke it when you need them in your context. This way you not only reduce your work but also customize and enhance the AI tool by feeding it your crucial elements like characters, plots, and scenes. 

13. Work on Subplots

An important part of a memoir is having different levels and turning points of the story happening at the same time. This is the same as for any book. It keeps the reader interested and on their toes.

To do this you can tie in other thoughts or experiences that relate to what is happening. This should happen quite naturally, as our memories are often not linear. And neither is the story.

With Squibler, you can divide your memoir into sections and chapters inside one single editor. You can access those chapters as you go and work with better organization. 

14. Include ‘Aha’ Moments

A good memoir often includes little pockets of insight left for the reader. While there will be a main takeaway at the end of the great memoir , they are often also sprinkled with ideas that most of us can relate to. (Even if we have not been through the same experience as the author.)

For example, when talking about her divorce in Eat, Pray, Love; Gilbert notes, “This is a good sign, having a broken heart. It means we have tried for something.” 

Don’t try and make these moments happen – they should appear organically. No one likes to read a lecture. You’ll know the difference because the insight will surprise you.

15. Know Story Structure

A satisfying component of a story is the idea that something is difficult to obtain, and by the end, your character has got it. This happens in all genres and memoirs are no different. Have a point A and a point B in mind. This will keep you on track and help you if you ever get lost.

You can (be as flexible with this as you like,) changing the protagonist’s (your) aim if needs be. But always know where you’re headed and where you’ve been.

However, if you struggle with developing a good structure, you can always use Squibler’s existing memoir templates that are professionally structured, outlined, and ready for you to work on. 

16. Describe the Character Arc

In the same way, you need a structure for your story, you will also need your protagonist to go through some changes. Just like in a novel, a memoir requires the main character to go through enough trials and tribulations that by the end of the book adds to their personal growth.

This means you must have found some way of using your experience to see things in a different light. Or, that you have changed your own life, in some way as a result.

17. Be Honest

The magic of a good memoir is its raw authenticity and emotional truth .

When someone is being vulnerable and pouring their inner thoughts and fears onto the page, this vulnerability is what the process is all about. If you can open up, then you become much more appealing and relatable as a character.

On the other hand, if you feel you have to lie for the story to be compelling, consider writing a fictional work with truthful elements laced within its pages. Non-fiction readers feel betrayed when they find out a story isn’t entirely true.

18. Be Vulnerable

Memoir is the art of connection. The person that has shown us their soul on paper, is someone we will care about. We want to read on, to find out what happens to them.

So open up, relax into what you are writing, and be you. Only then can the reader see the whole truth in you. And that is the only way they can see themselves in you.

19. Get Uncomfortable

You will come across a passage that feels a little bit tender or raw and embarrassing to show in the light of day, maybe you even feel a little ashamed of it. That feeling is what vulnerable writing is all about. The part perhaps, where you’re too embarrassed to share it with your closest friends? That is the best part of your writing. So don’t shy away from it. Check with an editor. The hardest-hitting parts are most often the scariest to share.

This is the part that makes you most relatable and attractive as a character and to your readers. (If you’re writing a memoir about a difficult subject, this may happen a lot. That’s the juice. Just be careful to make sure, as iterated above, to take care of yourself, first, over the art.)

20. Keep on Theme

This is the most important point.

While writing a memoir (once you have gotten all of your thoughts down on paper) make sure you don’t go too far off the beaten track. If you do, then perhaps you were meant to be writing about something else, anyway. But for argument’s sake, keep on topic.

Each point in your story will, ideally, link together nicely, some stories will not relate to your lesson learned but will contribute to the realization of it. In the same way, never tell an anecdote just for the sake of it. Instead, make sure that the logic of your story falls like dominoes, i.e. one section leads to the other.

21. Consider your Tone of Voice

The more you can show your personality through your style within your text, the better.

During your first draft, you will be just getting your thoughts and ideas down onto paper. By your second, you may want to begin thinking about the tone of your writing. The more honest you are, the easier this process will be.

If you’re stuck, try speaking into a tape player before writing another word. Otherwise, you can try a speech recognition tool while writing. This will capture your exact tone of voice when speaking and may give the book a more personal and authentic touch.

22. Show, Don’t Tell

This is another simple stylistic point, and it makes all the difference. But what does it mean?

Essentially, showing through your writing means to describe and give a vivid picture that plants the reader within the scene. It takes them right there. Telling, meanwhile, is a summary of whatever it is you are describing.

It won’t engage the reader or writer in the same way.

It could be useful, as you write your first draft, to note down all of the things you could see, smell, touch, and taste. This will help bring back the memory immediately. It will also make your writing more vivid.

During the later drafts, you can use this tip to make your writing come alive. A feeling of distrust becomes a tension in your shoulders as the hairs on your arm bristle. A tree branch breaking becomes a sound like the fracturing of bones. Showing and not telling ensures your writing is colorful and engaging for your reader.

Use Squibler’s advanced AI tool to work on the “Show, not Tell” part. Just select an existing brief text and Squibler will come up with multiple options of rich content that you can choose from. 

23. Write and Rewrite Again

This is simple. Once you have your first draft checked off, you might want to take a rest before jumping into the second draft. Or not. Either way, bear in mind the fact that you will need to write at least three drafts before you have anything that resembles a finished piece of work.

You can split up this process by rewriting individual chapters to ensure each is well-written, or you can take one story and work on it as a whole.

“If the body language is right, then the emotion and the thought will be right: and that is the powerful moment, when the reader understands you, regardless.” Jeanette Winterson, author of Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal?

This is what you’re aiming for.

The rewrite is a good time to develop more precise descriptions and your use of language. It is also a good time to consider changing the order of events. Play around with style and form until you’re happy.

You can save your time to rewrite by using an AI writing tool. Squibler allows you to generate content with AI in a matter of seconds. You can write, rewrite, and summarize your content quickly and efficiently.

24. Consider Privacy/Confidentiality

At this stage, you will want to consider the people involved in your book. If it is a serious and tragic confessional, then at least one of the people involved might be hurt by you ‘outing’ their identity.

This is where it’s important to have an attorney at hand. You need to make sure their privacy is intact, that their name has been changed, and that there are no distinguishable features that would mean they could be recognized and/or shamed by their family history or community. In certain cases, you might also want to consider hiding your own identity.

This is the point where your message becomes razor-sharp. Your chapters are concise. And your story structure is coherent and exciting.

Editing can vary from changing the chronological order of the events that take place in the book, to making sure your style and characterization are consistent.

Whatever it is you need help with, make sure you choose an editor that you like and trust. And who is experienced? This is most important with a memoir as such personal material needs to be treated with care and a certain delicacy.

Be prepared to kill your darlings. Try to be open to criticism, as your editor, as long as they know what they are doing, will ensure a good book becomes a great one.

26. Proofread

Once fully edited, you will want your whole book again to be proofread. You can ask friends and even family members to help out with this (if you are lucky enough to know some who are patient enough to do this). As well as this, getting at least one professional proofreader to look over your work is advisable. The more you can get, the better.

You don’t want to put all this work into something, pour your heart and soul into it to find that you have a typo on page 67. More than one typo or punctuation error will begin to look unprofessional, so this is an important stage of the writing process.

27. Consider Legal and Ethical Issues

When writing a memoir, it’s crucial to be mindful of legal and ethical considerations:

• Privacy Concerns: Respect the privacy of the people you write about. Consider changing names and identifying details to protect their anonymity. Obtain consent from those who are easily identifiable.
• Defamation: Be aware of defamation laws. Ensure that your portrayal of individuals is accurate and fair. Avoid making false or damaging statements about others.
• Sensitive Topics: Approach sensitive topics with care. Be honest but considerate about how your writing might affect others. If necessary, consult with a legal advisor to understand potential implications.
• Cultural Sensitivity: Be mindful of cultural contexts and how different audiences might perceive your story. Strive for a respectful and inclusive narrative.

Balancing honesty with sensitivity is key to crafting a compelling and responsible memoir.

28. Seek Feedback

Feedback is invaluable in the memoir writing process. It helps you refine your narrative and ensures your story resonates with readers:

• Beta Readers: Share your draft with a few trusted beta readers. Choose individuals who represent your target audience and whose opinions you respect.
• Writing Groups: Join a writing group or workshop where you can exchange feedback with other writers. This collaborative environment can provide diverse perspectives.
• Professional Editors: Consider hiring a professional editor who specializes in memoirs. Their expertise can help polish your writing, enhance clarity, and improve the overall flow of your story.
• Sensitivity Readers: For memoirs dealing with specific cultural, racial, or social issues, sensitivity readers can provide insights to ensure your portrayal is accurate and respectful.

Constructive feedback helps you identify strengths and areas for improvement, making your memoir more impactful and engaging.

29. Format for Publication

Proper formatting is crucial for presenting your memoir professionally, whether you’re self-publishing or submitting to traditional publishers:

• Manuscript Formatting: Follow standard manuscript formatting guidelines. This typically includes using a readable font (like Times New Roman, 12 pt), double spacing, and one-inch margins.
• Chapter Titles and Subheadings: Use clear and consistent chapter titles and subheadings to guide readers through your story.
• Front and Back Matter: Include essential elements such as a title page, table of contents, acknowledgments, and an author’s note or biography.
• Proofreading: Ensure your manuscript is free from grammatical errors and typos. Professional proofreading services can be a worthwhile investment.
• Publishing Format: Decide on the format in which you want to publish your memoir. Options include print (hardcover or paperback), eBook, and audiobook. Each format has specific requirements and standards.
• Self-Publishing Platforms: If self-publishing, research platforms like Amazon Kindle Direct Publishing (KDP), IngramSpark, or Smashwords. These platforms offer various tools and guidelines to help you format your memoir for publication.

Proper formatting enhances readability and presents your memoir in the best possible light, increasing its chances of success.

30. Publish

A large part of writing a memoir involves planning how you will publish it. The second or third draft may be a good time to start thinking about marketability and where it would sit on the bookshelves in your local bookshop.

If you intend on going with a traditional publisher, then knowing what sells and whether your concept is marketable is important. If you want to self-publish and market it yourself, then being aware of your target audience is also a plus.

If sales aren’t your concern and you just need to write your story, then you don’t need to worry about the market. Remember, some successful books became hits because the authors focused on their unique stories rather than market trends. Their niche appeal made them stand out.

H is for Hawk by Helen McDonald, for example, is a memoir filled with insight into grief and loss as the main character deals with the loss of her father through learning falconry, something he loved to do during his lifetime.

McDonald was concerned it would not fit in anywhere, as she couldn’t find any other book that was both a memoir and a book on birds. This difference and originality, however, could have just given her the edge.

With Squibler, you can explore your memoir in various publishing formats like PDF, txt, and Kindle. 

Both memoirs and autobiographies are books about someone’s life, right? So what’s the difference?

Well, it’s pretty simple.

A memoir has to do with a specific part of the writer’s life. It has a theme. The author will have in mind a time when their own life and perspective changed. The amount of time can span from an hour to several years, depending upon how long the process of learning took.

An autobiography is a chronological sequence history of events. It works from the moment the writer was born up until now.

This means that if you’ve had an interesting life, you might want to write an autobiography. But if there is one particular happening in your life worth taking notice of, then you might be best going with a memoir.

In conclusion, writing a memoir is an incredible journey of self-discovery and connection with others. Remember, there’s no right or wrong way to tell your story; it’s about sharing your unique experiences and perspective. Be honest, be passionate, and most importantly, be yourself.

As you embark on this literary adventure, keep in mind the tips we’ve shared: choose your stories wisely, engage your readers with vivid yet intricate details, and organize your memoir in such a way that suits your narrative best. And don’t forget, it’s okay to take your time and revise your work until it feels just right.

So, grab that pen or keyboard and start writing your own memoir now . Your story is worth sharing, and there are readers out there waiting to be inspired by your journey.

Here is a list of common questions that authors ask memoir writers :

How do I choose what to include in my memoir?

Begin by reflecting on the pivotal moments, life lessons, and experiences that have shaped you the most. Select the stories and memories that have had a lasting impact on your life and can resonate with your readers.

Should I be worried about hurting people’s feelings by sharing personal stories?

It’s essential to be respectful and considerate. Change names or use pseudonyms if necessary. Focus on your perspective and feelings, rather than casting blame or judgment on others.

How do I make my memoir engaging and relatable to readers?

Share your emotions and vulnerabilities honestly. Use descriptive language and vivid details to paint a clear picture of your own experiences here . Let your authentic voice shine through to connect with your audience.

What’s the best way to organize my memoir?

Consider a chronological approach, starting from your earliest memories and progressing through your entire life . Alternatively, use thematic chapters to group related stories and reflections together.

Is it necessary to write in a strict timeline or can I skip around in my storytelling?

You can jump around in your memoir, but it’s crucial to ensure a smooth flow for your readers. Use transitions and clear markers to guide them through key differences in your journey.

How long should my memoir be?

Focus on telling your compelling story, rather than worrying about a specific word count. Most memoirs range from 60,000 to 100,000 words, but the length should fit your story, not limit it.

Instant AI Book Outline Generation

Detailed Structure, Chapter-by-Chapter

Related Posts

Published in What is Book Writing?

Join 5000+ Technical Writers

Get our #1 industry rated weekly technical writing reads newsletter.

How To Write a Memoir Essay That Readers Won't Forget

Declan Gessel

May 11, 2024

For those seeking guidance on how to write an essay on how to write an essay , the process can be daunting. It is a meticulous task that requires precision, clarity, and a keen understanding of the topic. The task is not easy, but with the right guidance, you can excel. In this guide, we will explore the necessary steps required to craft a brilliant memoir essay. 

Table Of Content

What is a memoir essay, 4 key elements of a memoir essay, how to choose a topic for your memoir essay, 4 memoir essay writing tips to keep your readers engaged, jotbot highlights 3 great memoir essays, write smarter memoir essay with jotbot — start writing for free today.

A memoir essay is a piece of writing that combines elements of personal narrative and essay writing. The term itself is derived from the French word mémoire, meaning memory or reminiscence. A memoir essay tells a true story that happened to the author. It allows the author to explore and share memories from their past, reflecting on the significance of those experiences as they relate to them now.

Limited Scope

Unlike an autobiography , a memoir essay focuses on a specific period of the author's life, a particular event, or a significant relationship. This limited scope helps to keep the narrative more centralized, allowing the author to deeply explore the emotions and consequences of those experiences within the context of the overall theme.

Essay Structure

A memoir essay uses an essay structure to introduce a central theme, develop the story, and offer reflections or insights. This structure can help the author to organize their thoughts and present their story in a way that is engaging and easy to follow. It also allows the author to weave in other elements, such as research or commentary, that can help to enrich the narrative.

Emotional Depth

A memoir delves into the author's feelings and thoughts related to the experience. By exploring the emotional depth of their memories, the author can create a more evocative and powerful narrative that resonates with readers on a personal level. This emotional depth can draw readers in and make them feel more connected to the author's story.

Universal Connection

While personal, a memoir essay aims to connect with readers by exploring broader human themes. By sharing their experiences and insights, the author can help readers to see themselves in the story, finding common ground and shared emotions that make the narrative more meaningful and impactful. 

This universal connection is one of the key strengths of a memoir essay, allowing the author to reach a wider audience and create a more lasting impact with their writing.

Difference between Memoir and Autobiography

A memoir is closely related to the nonfiction format known as autobiography, but the two forms are not identical. Most notably, an autobiography is a first-person account of its author’s entire life. Autobiographies are usually written by famous individuals, such as politicians, celebrities, or business leaders. 

In contrast, a memoir is a nonfiction work that is based on the author’s personal memories, feelings, and experiences. Memoirs are often focused on a specific time period, theme, or relationship in the author’s life. Autobiographies are longer than memoirs and cover a broader scope of the author’s life. Although memoirs and autobiographies are different, both of these genres are entertaining and informative.

Related Reading

• Argumentative Essay • Essay Format • Expository Essay • Essay Outline • How To Write A Conclusion For An Essay • Transition Sentences • Narrative Essay • Rhetorical Analysis Essay • Persuasive Essay

1. The Use of Vivid Description

When writing a memoir essay, it is crucial to go beyond just recounting events. The use of vivid description can transport readers into the heart of your story, making it a truly immersive experience. By incorporating sensory details, figurative language, and evocative imagery, you can bring your memories to life and create a lasting impact on your readers.

2. Bring Characters to Life with Dialogue

Dialogue is a powerful tool in memoir writing, allowing you to breathe life into your characters and drive the narrative forward. By capturing the nuances of speech, revealing hidden emotions, and using dialogue to move the plot forward, you can create dynamic and engaging interactions that resonate with your readers.

3. How to Use Reflection in Your Memoir Essay

Reflection adds depth and meaning to your memoir essay, allowing you to explore the significance of your experiences and connect them to broader themes. By analyzing the "why" behind the event, connecting it to universal themes, and using introspection to express your vulnerabilities, you can infuse your memoir with emotional resonance and personal insight.

4. Showcasing the Journey of Growth

A compelling memoir essay showcases your personal growth and transformation, illustrating how specific experiences or relationships have shaped you over time. By illustrating your growth through actions and choices, using contrasting scenes to highlight your evolution, and ending on a note of personal growth, you can create a powerful narrative arc that resonates with your readers.

Reflecting on pivotal moments and turning points in your life is essential when choosing a topic for your memoir essay. These moments could be triumphs, losses, love, or transformations that profoundly impacted you. Consider experiences that have shaped your identity, values, or worldview and stand out vividly in your memory.

Emotional Impact

Emotional resonance is key to engaging readers in your memoir essay. Reflect on moments that made you laugh, cry, or feel deeply. These emotional moments provide a window into your soul and allow readers to connect with your story on a personal level.

Personal Growth and Lessons Learned

Exploring personal growth arcs in your life is another vital aspect to consider when choosing a memoir essay topic. Reflect on how you have evolved as a person and the lessons that life has taught you through challenges, mistakes, or unexpected twists. Sharing your insights can inspire and resonate with readers who may be going through similar experiences.

Universal Appeal

While your memoir essay is deeply personal, aiming for themes that resonate universally can make your story more relatable to a wider audience. Consider themes such as love and relationships, identity and self-discovery, resilience and overcoming adversity, journeys and travel, loss and grief, as well as career and passion pursuits. These themes can help your memoir essay connect with readers on a profound level.

Jotbot is your personal document assistant. Jotbot does AI note-taking, AI video summarizing, AI citation/source finder, it writes AI outlines for essays, and even writes entire essays with Jotbot’s AI essay writer. Join 500,000+ writers, students, teams, and researchers around the world to write more, write better, and write faster with Jotbot. Write smarter, not harder with Jotbot. Start writing for free with Jotbot today — sign in with Google and get started in seconds.

1. Identifying Your Narrative Core

When you're writing a memoir essay that truly captures readers' attention, it's crucial to identify the core of your narrative. This means delving into your life experiences to uncover the moments that truly define you. Here are some brainstorming strategies you can use to uncover your narrative core:

Thematic Exploration

Take a journey through the themes of your life, such as loss, friendship, or overcoming adversity. Identify specific moments that epitomize these themes and consider how they've shaped you.

Sensory Prompts

Recall vivid experiences by engaging your senses. Think about a specific smell, taste, or childhood object that brings back powerful memories. These sensory details will help you bring your story to life.

Turning Points

Reflect on pivotal moments that have significantly changed your life or your perspective. These moments often hold the key to understanding who you are and why you've become that way.

2. The Criteria for Choosing a Captivating Topic

Your memoir essay should be about more than just any story from your life. To truly captivate readers, you need to choose a topic that meets certain criteria. Here are some things to consider when selecting your story:

Choose an experience that evokes strong emotions in you. If you feel deeply about the story you're telling, your readers are more likely to as well.

Universality

Can readers connect with the story you're telling on a broader level? Look for experiences that resonate with the human experience and the emotions we all share.

Personal Significance

The best memoir essays tell stories that have had a lasting impact on the author. Consider the experiences that have shaped you, challenged you, or changed your life in meaningful ways.

3. How To Build a Memorable Narrative Persona

A key to writing a memoir essay that readers won't forget is to create a strong narrative persona. This persona is the voice through which your story is told, and it should be unique, engaging, and authentic. Here's how you can develop your narrative persona:

Identifying Your Voice

Take some time to analyze your natural writing style. Are you humorous, reflective, or descriptive? Understanding your personal tendencies will help you craft a narrative persona that feels true to you.

Building Your Narrative Voice

Consider the literary influences that have shaped your writing style. What authors or genres resonate with you? You can draw on these influences as you develop your narrative voice.

4. Crafting a Memorable Ending

Every great memoir essay needs a memorable ending. This is the final chance to leave a lasting impression on your reader, so make it count. Here are some strategies for crafting a memorable ending to your memoir essay:

Circle Back to the Introduction

Offer a sense of closure by connecting back to the beginning of your essay. This can create a sense of symmetry and completion that leaves your reader satisfied.

Reveal a Transformation

Show how the experience you've shared has shaped you into the person you are now. This transformation is often at the heart of a memoir essay and can make for a powerful ending.

A Lingering Thought

End your essay with a question or a thought-provoking reflection that will stay with your readers long after they've finished reading. This can prompt further contemplation and leave a lasting impact.

1. Eat, Pray, and Love by Elizabeth Gilbert 

(https://www.mwediting.com/memoir-topics-with-examples/) 

2. The Book “Wild” by Cheryl Strayed Essay 

(https://ivypanda.com/essays/the-book-wild-by-cheryl-strayed/)

3. Wild: a journey from lost to found by Strayed  

(https://archive.org/details/wildjourneyfroml0000stra)

• Words To Start A Paragraph • Essay Structure • Types Of Essays • How To Write A Narrative Essay • Synthesis Essay • Descriptive Essay • How To Start Off An Essay • How To Write An Analytical Essay • Write Me A Paragraph • How To Write A Synthesis Essay

When writing a memoir essay, it is crucial to embrace vulnerability. Readers are drawn to stories that reveal the writer's true self and expose their raw emotions. By sharing personal tales and experiences with readers, writers can form deeper connections. It can be terrifying to share personal stories, but vulnerability is what makes memoirs compelling. Readers relate to vulnerability, and it encourages them to open up about their experiences. 

Embracing vulnerability in your memoir essay allows readers to connect with your story on an intimate level. When readers recognize themselves in your narrative, they are more likely to engage with your work on a deeper level. Vulnerability taps into emotions that are universal, enabling your readers to see themselves in your story. When writers embrace vulnerability, they create an emotional bond with their readers.

Overcoming Writer’s Block

Writer's block is a common challenge faced by memoir writers. It can be frustrating when you want to write but cannot find the words. When writer's block strikes, I use Jotbot to generate an outline for my memoir essay. Jotbot helps me organize my thoughts and ideas, which enables me to write more cohesively. With Jotbot, I can focus on specific sections of my memoir essay, allowing me to overcome writer's block.

Jotbot's AI essay writer helps me with sentence structure, grammar, and punctuation. When I struggle with a sentence, I use Jotbot to revise it. Jotbot helps me to write complete sentences and improve my grammar. I love how Jotbot helps me improve my writing skills. Writing my memoir essay with Jotbot allows me to concentrate on my writing and not worry about sentence structure or grammar.

Creating a Memorable Memoir Opening

When writing a memoir essay, the opening should grab the reader’s attention. A strong opening sets the stage for the rest of the essay. I like to begin my memoir essays with an anecdote or a compelling quote to draw readers in. By starting with a vivid image or a powerful statement, I can spark readers’ curiosity and make them eager to read more.

Jotbot assists me in creating an opening for my memoir essay that hooks readers from the beginning. Jotbot helps me to generate a catchy introduction that sets the tone for the rest of the essay. With Jotbot , I can create a memorable opening that captivates readers and compels them to continue reading. Jotbot allows me to focus on crafting an engaging narrative instead of struggling to find the right words for the introduction.

• Critical Analysis Essay • How To Write A Personal Essay • Chat Gpt Essay Writer • How To Write An Outline For An Essay • What Makes A Good Thesis Statement • Essay Writing Tools • How To Write A 5 Paragraph Essay • How To Write A Rhetorical Analysis Essay • How To Write A Header For An Essay • First Person Essay • Formula For A Thesis Statement

Trusted by top universities and businesses

Loved by 1,000,000+

Write more, better, faster..

Your personal AI document assistant

Start writing — it's free

Your personal document assistant.

Start for free

Press enquiries

Influencer Program

Terms & Conditions

Privacy policy

AI Essay Writer

AI Source Finder

AI Outline Generator

How to Use JotBot AI

© 2024 JotBot AI by SLAM Ventures, LLC all rights reserved

© 2024 SLAM Ventures, LLC

TRY OUR FREE APP

Write your book in Reedsy Studio. Try the beloved writing app for free today.

Craft your masterpiece in Reedsy Studio

Plan, write, edit, and format your book in our free app made for authors.

Guides • Perfecting your Craft

Last updated on Apr 27, 2023

How to Outline a Memoir in 6 Steps (with Template)

About the author.

Reedsy's editorial team is a diverse group of industry experts devoted to helping authors write and publish beautiful books.

About Martin Cavannagh

Head of Content at Reedsy, Martin has spent over eight years helping writers turn their ambitions into reality. As a voice in the indie publishing space, he has written for a number of outlets and spoken at conferences, including the 2024 Writers Summit at the London Book Fair.

About Tom Bromley

Author, editor, tutor, and bestselling ghostwriter. Tom Bromley is the head of learning at Reedsy, where he has created their acclaimed course, 'How to Write a Novel.'

Memoirists are often daunted by the task of translating memories into a captivating narrative. Even with a clear understanding of your memoir's central themes and the stories you want to share, it can be challenging to weave them together seamlessly. 

In this article, we’ll share 6 steps to organize your memories into a compelling narrative, along with a free template to help you plot your personal story. 

How to outline a memoir: 

1. Order your stories chronologically

2. pick a fitting story structure, 3. hook the reader from the start, 4. lay out your goals and desires, 5. describe how you dealt with challenges, 6. end by showing how you’ve changed.

FREE RESOURCE

Memoir Outline Template

Craft a memorable memoir with our step-by-step template.

If you’ve worked through our article on how to write a memoir, you should already have a hand-picked selection of powerful memories. The challenge now is to piece them together, with each memory serving as a crucial puzzle piece in an overarching narrative. 

A popular first step is to arrange your stories in chronological order. You could do this on a whiteboard, a notebook, or within your writing software of choice. For example,  Reedsy Studio  offers an outlining board where you can create notes for your stories, then drag and drop them around.

With this bird’s-eye view, it becomes easier to spot patterns and understand what fundamentally connects your stories together, helping you find a suitable story arc  for your memoir. 

👻 Want to collaborate with a master storyteller to bring your memoir to life? Hire a ghostwriter! They'll handle everything in the background, but your name will be the one on the cover.

MEET GHOSTWRITERS

Find a ghost you can trust

Your mission? A fantastic book. Find the perfect writer to complete it on Reedsy.

Filmmaker Jean-Luc Godard once said that every story “has a beginning, a middle, and an end — not necessarily in that order.” When it comes to telling your own story, there isn’t a single way to structure them 一 you'll have to figure out what will have the greatest impact. To help you along, look at some of the most common memoir structures authors use. Three, in particular, stand out: 

Chronological. For memoirs that cover a specific time period or event of the author’s life and have a clear, chronological timeline (e.g. defeating cancer, or climbing Mount Kilimanjaro.) For example, Jon Krakauer’s Into Thin Air recounts the 1996 Mount Everest disaster by chronicling the ascent, summit, and descent of the mountain.

Before/After. For memoirs that revolve around a particular event so central to the story that it makes sense to organize the book in a Before/After format, where the narration keeps cutting before and after that event occurred (e.g. being sentenced to jail, or surviving a hurricane). In Lee Lawrence's The Louder I Will Sing , the author describes his life before and after his mother was wrongly shot by police during a raid on their home, using the contrast to describe the two strikingly different realities he experienced.

Theme-based. For memoirs that aren't linked together by a specific timeframe, but rather a common theme, with each story offering a unique perspective into the author's life, yet all coalescing around a central theme. A good example is Trevor Noah's memoir Born a Crime, which explores his experiences as a mixed-race child growing up in Apartheid South Africa. Noah shares a range of poignant and often humorous stories, from going to Church with his mum to selling CDs to his first date, which all grapple with the book’s central themes of resilience and identity.

When outlining your own memoir, play around with your story notes and see if you can arrange them in a unique way that emphasizes your central message or story arc. If you find this especially challenging, don’t despair. You can always collaborate with a book coach 一 they’ll help you make sense of your tales and neatly organize them into a powerful narrative. 

GET ACCOUNTABILITY

Meet writing coaches on Reedsy

Industry insiders can help you hone your craft, finish your draft, and get published.

But in the end, the old ways are often the best — and most stories are best suited to having a distinguishable beginning, middle, and end. Most often, the strongest outline is one that follows a chronological, novel-like structure. To that end, we’ve created a free downloadable template that will help you deconstruct your memoir scene by scene and synthesize an overarching narrative.

Let’s dive deeper into your memoir outline and see that your story hits all the right chords. 

It’s never a bad idea to start your memoir with a moment of high emotion. When deciding whether your book is worth reading, readers will skim through the opening passages , either in-store or with Amazon’s Look Inside feature. If the first few pages don’t grab them, they won’t buy it. To engage readers from the get-go, open with a powerful moment from the middle or even the finishof your story .  

For example, Cheryl Strayed’s memoir Wild (which we’ll reference throughout the rest of this post) doesn’t start with her mother’s death, failing marriage, or struggle with drugs. Instead, it begins on day 38 of her hike along the Pacific Crest Trail (PCT) when Strayed accidentally drops one of her hiking shoes off a cliff. It’s a moment of profound helplessness and loneliness, evoking feelings she’s been grappling with since her mother died, ones that she hopes to overcome on her journey.  

Strayed hooks her reader right from the start . She knows they’ve picked up her book on the promise that they’ll get stories of hiking through the wilderness, and she delivers on it instantly, instead of spending the first 100 pages detailing her mundane ‘normal’ life.

This kind of opening (called in media res ) is an effective way for memoirists to engage the reader right away, and leave them wanting to know more  before providing background information and developing the story. 

Once you’ve figured out your hook, it’s time to lay the foundation for your narrative. If you’re following the classic story structure in three acts , this would be your Act One.

FREE COURSE

How to Plot a Novel in Three Acts

In 10 days, learn how to plot a novel that keeps readers hooked

Some of the story elements you may want to include in the first part of your memoir are: 

Exposition 

As the main character, you’ll have to provide some background information about yourself (as long as it’s relevant to your memoir’s main focus.) You’ll want to paint a picture of who you were before the story starts, so that readers can follow along as you evolve through it. 

In Wild , Cheryl vividly portrays the profound bond she shared with her mother, and how her death set her on a destructive path of substance abuse and infidelity.

If your memoir is about joining the Navy Seals, this is the part where you share your ordinary life before military training. If it’s about grieving for your late husband, your exposition and background details might detail how you fell in love with each other, and what made your relationship special. 

An Inciting Incident 

In most cases, you’ll be able to identify a defining moment that set your story in motion, and propelled you on a transformational journey. It’s the moment you fully decide to get out of your comfort zone to achieve your goals and desires. 

Cheryl's turning point in Wild comes after she hits rock bottom in the wake of an unwanted pregnancy. Browsing through a store, she impulsively purchases a guidebook for the PCT, thinking that the trail may help her “walk herself back to the woman she once was.”  

Of course, not all true life stories start with an earth-shaking epiphany or a serendipitous meeting. Maybe your decision to run an Ironman in your 40s was something that was brewing over a number of years, but try to think of a moment of high emotion that contributed to that choice. Was it the day you were fired from your job, or the time when a kid on the street called you 'old'? This moment could very well be your inciting incident. 

Introduction of Main Theme

As your story develops, make sure that your personal objectives are tied to a larger, universal theme that can resonate with your readers. In Cheryl's story, her primary goal is to hike the PCT, but on a deeper level, her quest touches on the themes of redemption and self-discovery. As she writes in the first pages of the book:

“It was a world [the trail] I’d never been to and yet had known was there all along, one I’d staggered to in sorrow and confusion and fear and hope. A world I thought would both make me into the woman I knew I could become and turn me into the girl I’d once been.”

Think about what your memoir's theme really is (e.g. parenting, mental health, social inequality) and spotlight it from the very beginning.

Now that your story is truly in motion, with backstory, an inciting incident, and thematic heft, it’s time to get into the nitty-gritty. 

The second act of your memoir is often the trickiest. This is the section where you will usually deliver on the ‘ promise of the premise ’: if your book is about becoming an astronaut, this is the part where you’ll undergo training and plan for your mission. If you’re writing a memoir about hiking the wilderness, you better be in the woods by the start of the second act.

The tough part comes with making sure that you’re building momentum, increasing the stakes, and not just telling anecdotes that don’t contribute to the bigger picture. For this reason, a memoir’s second act usually sees your hero (you!) responding to bigger and bigger obstacles. 

Here are a few key plot points to consider to keep your narration strong: 

Rising Action

During this part of the story, you usually face external and internal challenges in order to achieve your goal. The key to maintaining credibility is to share both your failures and successes, moments of both fear and courage. 

On her first sleepless night camping on the trail, Cheryl is terrified of animal sounds. But as she grows more confident each day, she starts to join in with their howls. Despite her undersized boots, her heavy backpack, and her lack of camping experience, she manages to walk 100 miles through the Mojave Desert and reach the first campground. She also learns to trust strangers and ask for help, especially when it comes to letting go of some of her unnecessary baggage.

The rising action in your story may be less adventurous than in a travel memoir. If your topic is recovering from addiction, for example, it may include getting into arguments at Alcoholics Anonymous, before developing an uneasy friendship with your sponsor and growing more confident in your ability to get better. 

This is a turning point in your story, like a crisis, triumph, or simply a realization, that pivots your journey in a new direction. Usually, it’s a moment that carries significant emotional weight and sets the stage for the climax to come. 

Despite her growing confidence, Cheryl is forced to reckon with her emotions. This is when she loses her boots and feels helpless, used as the story hook. This time though, we get to see how she reacts: she reinforces her sandals with duct tape and keeps marching forward, with ever more strength and determination.   

Dig around your memories and try to identify that path-altering, highly emotional moment 一 it may be your midpoint. In a memoir chronicling the journey of building a successful startup, the midpoint may be a promising call from angel investors, willing to pour some money into your idea. It’s the moment when things turn around. 

It’s time to outline the final act of your memoir to end on a strong note and with a powerful message.

The Third Act is where the main conflict of your story is finally resolved, so the stakes and tension should be at their highest. Some of the key plot points to outline in this last section are: 

This is where you introduce your greatest challenge for the final act of your manuscript. It often involves a series of events that further escalate the conflict and heighten the anticipation for the ultimate resolution. 

In Wild , Cheryl deals with debilitating thirst, dodgy hunters, and a heavy storm, but more importantly, she revisits some of her most painful memories, from the abuses of her alcoholic father, to the heart-wrenching task of putting down her mother's cherished horse after her passing.

In your memoir, this is the moment before the end of your story that threatens to dash your dreams once and for all. It may be the moment when a global pandemic hits, countries close borders, and flights to Vanuatu are suspended, threatening your quest to visit every single country in a year.  

This is the point where the central conflict or challenge of your memoir comes to a head. It’s the culmination of everything you've built up to, and it should feel like a defining moment in your life. For Cheryl, it’s finally reaching the Bridge of the Gods and completing the PCT after a three-month-long hike. In your story, it may be the moment you complete an Ironman, sell your successful startup, or finally land in Port Vila, the capital of Vanuatu.  

Resolution/Thematic Wrap-Up

The resolution is an opportunity for you to show the results of your journey and how you’ve changed as a result of it. Here you can again address the central theme of the book, sharing the lessons you’ve learned and how your perspective has changed over time. 

For Cheryl, it’s all about redeeming her turbulent past 一 from cheating to heroine 一 owning up to it, and rediscovering that inner strength and beauty she had lost touch with. In your memoir, this is the time to reflect on what you learned from overcoming addiction or running a race, and muse on how you have been able to move forward since.

Aaand scene! It's important to keep in mind that every memoir is unique and may require a distinctive structure, but we hope that our suggestions and template will provide you with a solid foundation to write with more clarity and get that memoir published.

Also, remember that writing a book is a marathon. After outlining, writing, and publishing your memoir, you'll have to publish it! Proceed onto our post teaching you how to publish a memoir and rest assured that you have a solid roadmap in front of you.

Evelyn Sinclair says:

04/03/2018 – 21:17

I've read a lot of the Reedsy information about memoirs, finding it all very helpful and I'm around 20,000 words in. Recently I'm struggling over how to bring it to an interesting end, and whether I can reach the length of a novel.

Comments are currently closed.

Join a community of over 1 million authors

Reedsy is more than just a blog. Become a member today to discover how we can help you publish a beautiful book.

Structure your memoir for maximum impact

Use our free template to plan an unputdownable memoir.

1 million authors trust the professionals on Reedsy. Come meet them.

Enter your email or get started with a social account:

How to Write Your Memoir: A 5-Step Guide

Memoir is not just a fancy literary term for an autobiography. I say that from the start, because I so often hear the terms incorrectly interchanged.

Your memoir will be autobiographical, of course, but it can’t be about you.

Confused yet? Stay with me.

You may have heard both of these genres associated with creative nonfiction .

• What is Creative Nonfiction?

The term can seem confusing, but it’s all about telling a compelling true story while using the same kinds of elements found in good fiction to make it sing.

Creative Nonfiction is a term that can be applied to a wide array of genres,  including memoir, autobiography, biography, travel writing, personal essays, interviews, blogs, and more. Actually, it should be characteristic of almost any form of nonfiction.

In many ways, Creative Nonfiction reads like fiction while sticking to the facts. It allows you to tell a true story in a most compelling way by employing narrative elements like foreshadowing, backstory, dialog, conflict, tension, description, and more.

Such elements aren’t in themselves fictional. Your story remains absolutely true, but such tools enhance the reading experience.

Some nonfiction is designed primarily to educate and inform (think textbooks, how-to books, or self-help books), but would argue that even these can benefit from Creative Nonfiction techniques. Why not build a narrative that helps readers best relate to the content and become immersed in it?

Memoirs (from the French and Latin for “memory” or “remembrance”) by definition focus on your personal experience, intimacy with the reader, and reflecting both transferable principles and universal emotional truth.

That’s why, ironic as it may sound, a memoir should be as much about the reader as the writer. Yes, it’s your story, based on your experience, but unless readers see a bit of themselves in it, what’s the point? You will have written a book that is merely about something, rather than for the purpose of something.

So what can Creative Nonfiction bring to your memoir? Resonance. Relatability. Accessibility.

And how will it manifest itself? By triggering the theater of the readers’ minds so they can feel the story, imagine themselves in it, experience it with you.

Most importantly, convey your emotional truth . Show how your experiences, challenges, and lessons learned made you feel, how you coped, and the impact they had on your personal or spiritual growth.

• Autobiography vs. Memoir: What’s the Difference?

An autobiography is your life story from birth to the present.

A memoir is theme-oriented with anecdotes from your life that buttress a specific theme .

Too many authors write a memoir because they believe their lives are so interesting that even strangers would enjoy a detailed account .

Don’t misunderstand — maybe you are interesting.

All of us are, to some degree. I know hardly anyone who doesn’t have a story.

But unless you’re a celebrity, sorry but most people beyond your family and close friends aren’t likely to care.

They care about themselves and how your personal story might somehow benefit them.

So your theme must be reader-oriented, offering universal truth, transferable principles that will help them become a better person or get them through whatever crisis they might be facing.

The closest I have come to writing my own memoir, Writing for the Soul , uses selected anecdotes about famous and interesting people I’ve met to illustrate points I make about writing.

Had I merely written an autobiography and not offered writing instruction, it would’ve been largely ignored.

• Should You Write a Memoir?

While you don’t have to be famous to write a great memoir, you must tell a story that educates, entertains, and emotionally moves the reader.

You may write a memoir without intending to traditionally publish it. You might write it for only your family and friends.

I’m here to help, regardless your reason for writing your memoir.

• What Should Your Memoir Be About?

Your memoir should draw on anecdotes from your life to show how you progressed from some unlikely place to where you are today.

In that way, it’s about you, but it’s for the benefit of the reader.

Maybe you’re:

• From the other side of the tracks
• From a broken home
• A victim of abuse
• A recovered addict

Yet you have achieved:

• Financial security

You might start with how bad things once were for you and how unlikely it was that you would escape your situation.

Then you would show pivotal experiences and people important to your transformation, what you learned, and how your life changed.

Naturally, the better your stories and the more significant your change (in fiction, we call this a character arc ), the better your memoir.

However, great stories are not the point — and frankly, neither is the memoir writer (you).

The point is reader takeaway.

Readers should be able to apply to themselves and their own situations the larger truths and principles your theme imparts.

That way, you don’t have to awkwardly try to apply your message to them. Ideally, they’ll do that for themselves.

They may be enduring something entirely different from what you did, yet your story gives them hope.

• What Publishers Look For

Don’t buy into the idea that only famous people can sell a memoir. Sure, they might be able to get away with a recitation of their daily routines, because people are interested in the minutiae of the famous.

But memoirs by the largely unknown succeed for one reason: they resonate because readers identify with them.

Truth, especially the hard, gritty, painful stuff, bears that universal truth and those transferable principles I mentioned above.

Candor and self-revelation attracts readers, and readers are what publishers want .

Astute agents or publishers’ acquisitions editors recognize how relatable a memoir will be.

Agents and editors tell me they love to discover such gems — the same way they love discovering the next great novelist.

The key is a compelling story told with creative writing.

So, when writing your memoir…

Remember, you’re the subject, but it’s not really about you.

It may seem counterintuitive to think reader-first while writing in first person about yourself, but readers long to be changed by your story.

Give them insight about life through your experiences. Give them the tools they need to overcome their own struggles, even if they’re not at all like yours. Give them a model for overcoming.

Couch it in entertaining, educational, and emotional stories, and they’ll not only stay with you till the last page, but they’ll also recommend your memoir to their friends.

• How to Write a Memoir
• Settle On Your Theme
• Select Your Anecdotes
• Outline Your Book
• Write It Like a Novel
• Avoid Throwing People Under the Bus

Step 1. Settle On Your Theme

Your unstated theme must be, “You’re not alone. If I overcame this, you can overcome anything.”

That’s what appeals to readers. Even if they do come away from your memoir impressed with you, it won’t be because you’re so special — even if you are. Whether they admit it or not, readers care most about themselves.

They’re reading your memoir wondering, What’s in this for me? The more transferable principles you offer in a story well told, the more successful your book will be .

Cosmic Commonalities

All people, regardless of age, ethnicity, location, and social status, share certain felt needs: food, shelter, and love. They fear abandonment, loneliness, and the loss of loved ones. Regardless of your theme, if it touches on any of those needs and fears, readers can identify.

I can read the memoir of someone of my opposite gender, for whom English is not her first language, of a different race and religion, who lives halfway around the world from me — and if she writes of her love for her child or grandchild, it reaches me.

Knowing or understanding or relating to nothing else about her, I understand the love of family.

How to Write a Memoir Without Preaching

Trust your narrative to convey your message. Too many memoir writers feel the need to eventually turn the spotlight on the reader with a sort of “So, how about you…?”

Let your experiences and how they impacted you make their own points, and trust the reader to get it. Beat him over the head with your theme and you run him off.

You can avoid being preachy by using what I call the Come Alongside Method. Show what happened to you and what you learned, and if the principles apply to your readers, give them credit for being smart enough to get it.

Step 2. Select Your Anecdotes

The best memoirs let readers see themselves in your story so they can identify with your experiences and apply the lessons you’ve learned to their own lives.

If you’re afraid to mine your pain deeply enough to tell the whole truth, you may not be ready to write your memoir. There’s nothing a little less helpful — or marketable — than a memoir that glosses over the truth.

So, feature the anecdotes from your life that support your theme, regardless how painful it is to resurrect the memories. The more introspective and vulnerable you are, the more effective your memoir will be.

Create a list of events in your life and their impact on you. These may be major events like a war, your parents’ divorce, a graduation, a wedding, or the loss of a dear friend or relative.

But they may also be seemingly mundane life events that for some reason affected you deeply. Just make sure they support your theme.

Who is unforgettable and what role did they play in making you the person you’ve become?

Interview family and friends for different perspectives. Peruse photographs, revisit meaningful places, research dates, the weather, and relevant history.

Step 3. Outline Your Book

Without a clear vision, trying to write a memoir will likely end in disaster. There’s no substitute for an outline .

Potential agents or publishers require in your proposal a synopsis of where you’re going, and they also need to know that you know.

One that changed the course of my writing career is novelist Dean Koontz ’s Classic Story Structure, spelled out in his classic How to Write Bestselling Fiction . Though obviously intended as a framework for a novel , I discovered it applies perfectly to almost any genre (including TV sitcoms, if you can believe it).

And fortunately, for the purposes of my subject today, Koontz’s classic story structure serves a memoir beautifully too.

Here it is in a nutshell:

• Plunge your main character into terrible trouble as soon as possible
• Everything he does to try to get out of it makes it only progressively worse until…
• His situation appears hopeless
• But in the end, because of what he’s learned and how he’s grown through all those setbacks, he rises to the challenge and wins the day.

You might be able to structure your memoir the same way merely by how you choose to tell the story. As I say, don’t force things, but the closer you can get to that structure , the more engaging your memoir will be.

For your memoir, naturally, you’re the main character.

And the Terrible Trouble would be the nadir of your life . (If nadir is a new word for you, it’s the opposite of zenith .)

Take the reader with you to your lowest point, and show what you did to try to remedy things.

But what about that “as soon as possible” caveat?

Maybe your terrible trouble didn’t manifest itself until later in life.

Fine, start there. The backstory can emerge as you progress, but you’ll find his structure and sequencing will make for the most compelling read.

Important in fiction as well as in a memoir is to be sure your reader is invested in the main character enough to care when he is plunged into terrible trouble.

While in fiction that means some hint of the stakes — he’s a husband, a father, has suffered some loss, etc. If that’s also true of you, subtly inject it.

Also in a memoir, you want to promise a good outcome, some form of your own wonder at who you are now compared to who you once were or destined to be. That way, readers can take from your story that things can dramatically change for the better in their lives too.

One of the reasons this structure works so well in fiction is because it’s often true in real life.

If you’ve become a successful, happy person despite an unfortunate background, it’s likely that you tried many times to fix things, only to see them deteriorate until you developed the ability to break through.

All Koontz and I are saying is to emphasize that .

Keep your outline to a single page for now.

Then develop a synopsis with a sentence or two of what each chapter will cover.

Write this in the present tense. “I enroll in college only to find that…”

And don’t worry if you’ve forgotten the basics of classic outlining or have never felt comfortable with the concept.

It doesn’t have to be rendered in Roman numerals and capital and lowercase letters and then numerals, unless that serves you best.

Just a list of sentences that synopsize your idea works fine, too.

And remember, it’s a fluid document meant to serve you and your book. Play with it, rearrange it as you see fit — even during the writing.

Step 4. Write It Like a Novel

It’s as important in a memoir as it is in a novel to show and not just tell .

My father was a drunk who abused my mother and me. I was scared to death every time I heard him come in late at night.

As soon as I heard the gravel crunch beneath the tires, I dove under my bed.

I could tell by his footsteps whether Dad was sober and tired or loaded and looking for a fight.

I prayed God would magically make me big enough to jump between him and my mom, because she was always his first target…

Use every tool in the novelist’s arsenal to make each anecdote come to life: dialogue , description, conflict , tension , pacing, everything.

These will make sure you grab your readers’ attention and keep it — because these tools ensure that they’ll become engrossed in your story.

Worry less about chronology than theme.

You’re not married to the autobiographer’s progressive timeline.

Tell whatever anecdote fits your point for each chapter, regardless where they fall on the calendar.

Just make the details clear so the reader knows where you are in the story .

You might begin with the most significant memory of your life, even from childhood.

Then you can segue into something like, “Only now do I understand what was really happening.” Your current-day voice can always drop in to tie things together.

Character Arc

As in a novel, how the protagonist (in this case, you) grows is critical to a successful story. Your memoir should make clear the difference between who you are today and who you once were. What you learn along the way becomes your character arc .

Point of View

It should go without saying that you write a memoir in the first person . And just as in a novel, the point-of-view character is the one with the problem, the challenge, something he’s after. Tell both your outer story (what happens) and your inner story (its impact on you).

Setups and Payoffs

Great novels carry a book-length setup that demands a payoff in the end, plus chapter-length setups and payoffs, and sometimes even the same within scenes. The more of these the better.

The same is true for your memoir. Virtually anything that makes the reader stay with you to find out what happens is a setup that demands a payoff. Even something as seemingly innocuous as your saying that you hoped high school would deliver you from the torment of junior high makes the reader want to find out if that proved true.

Make ‘em Wait

Avoid using narrative summary to give away too much information too early. I’ve seen memoir manuscripts where the author tells in the first paragraph how they went from abject poverty to independent wealth in 20 years, “…and I want to tell you how that happened.”

To me, that takes the air right out of the tension balloon.

Many readers would agree and see no reason to continue reading.

Better to set them up for a payoff and let them wait.

Not so long that you lose them to frustration, but long enough to build tension.

Step 5. Avoid Throwing People Under the Bus

If you’re brave enough to expose your own weaknesses, foibles, embarrassments, and yes, even your failures to the world, what about your friends, enemies, loved ones, teachers, bosses, and coworkers?

If you tell the truth, are you allowed to throw them under the bus?

In some cases, yes.

But should you?

Even if they gave you permission in writing, what’s the upside?

Usually a person painted in a negative light — even if the story is true — would not sign a release allowing you to expose them publicly.

But even if they did, would it be the right, ethical, kind thing to do?

All I can tell you is that I wouldn’t do it. And I wouldn’t want it done to me.

If the Golden Rule alone isn’t reason enough not to do it, the risk of being sued certainly ought to be.

So, What to Do?

On one hand, I’m telling you your memoir is worthless without the grit. On the other, I’m telling you not to expose the evildoers.

Stalemate? No.

Here’s the solution:

Changing names to protect the guilty is not enough. Too many people in your family and social orbit will know the person, making your writing legally actionable.

So change more than just the name.

Change the location. Change the year. Change their gender. You could even change the offense .

If your own father verbally abused you so painfully when you were thirteen that you still suffer from the memory decades later, attribute it to a teacher and have it happen at an entirely different age.

Is that lying in a nonfiction book? Not if you include a disclaimer upfront that stipulates: “Some names and details have been changed to protect identities.”

So, no, don’t throw anyone under the bus. But don’t stop that bus!

• Common Memoir Mistakes

Making it too much like an autobiography

Memoirs aren’t a chronological history of everything that’s happened in your life. Make sure your theme is strong, compelling, and reader-focused. If the stories you include don’t speak to your theme, cut them.

Including minutiae

Use only the details that matter. Have a large family or circle of friends, only a few of whom were critical to your outcome? Leave most of them out. Avoid describing day-to-day experiences or descriptions unless they directly relate to your theme.

Your memoir isn’t the place for touting your achievements. You’ll turn readers off. Describe your challenges and emotional truths authentically. Own your successes but stay humble. Memoir is about the journey more than the destination.

Glossing over the truth

Writing a memoir will challenge you emotionally. It can be hard to revisit tough times or traumatic experiences — but unless you tell the whole truth, your readers won’t be able to relate and your story will fall flat.

How can you avoid sounding preachy or overbearing in your writing? Look for any time you use the words “must,” “should,” “ought,” or “have to,” and then find ways to reword your sentences using the Come Alongside Method to encourage, inspire, or suggest instead.

Affecting the wrong tone

Your memoir isn’t a place to be flippant, sarcastic, or condescending. You can be lighthearted at times, but use humor judiciously. Don’t try to cover up your emotional truth with lame jokes. Your story won’t feel authentic and your readers will lose interest.

• How to Start Your Memoir

Start slowly by setting the stage or explaining family dynamics and you’ll soon lose your reader’s attention.

Hook your reader from page one by beginning in medias res — in the middle of things. That doesn’t mean it has to be slam-bang action, but something must be happening.

Not sure exactly where to start ? No problem.

You don’t have to know the best beginning for your book in order to start writing — and you shouldn’t procrastinate indefinitely until you figure it out.

Instead, many memoir writers only discover their strongest potential opening as a last step. Decide what stories you’ll include, write those, and choose the best one once you see what you have to work with.

• Memoir Examples

Thoroughly immerse yourself in this genre before attempting to write in it. I read nearly 50 memoirs before I wrote mine ( Writing for the Soul ). Here’s a list to get you started:

• All Over But the Shoutin’ by Rick Bragg (my favorite book ever)

The Pulitzer Prize winning New York Times reporter tells the story of growing up dirt poor in Alabama with a father who had a “murderous temper” and a mother who went 18 years without a new dress to make sure her kids had a better life.

• Cultivate by Lara Casey

Part inspiration and part practical guide, Lara’s insight helps women who feel “inadequate, overwhelmed, and exhausted” to find grace through cultivating what matters most.

• A Moveable Feast by Ernest Hemingway

One of Hemingway’s most beloved books, this memoir provides a fascinating snapshot of his life as a writer in 1920s Paris.

• Out of Africa by Karen Blixen

Modern Library named this classic book, written in 1937, as one of the 100 best nonfiction books of all time. In it, Karen describes her experiences running a coffee farm with her husband in Kenya in 1914.

• Angela’s Ashes by Frank McCourt

The history of Frank McCourt’s “miserable Irish Catholic childhood” and how stories helped him to survive slums and starvation and ultimately thrive as a professional storyteller.

• Still Woman Enough by Loretta Lynn

In a much anticipated follow-up to her first memoir, Coal Miner’s Daughter , Loretta tells the story of the second half of her life. She writes about the stresses of fame and candidly discusses her often turbulent relationship with the husband she married at age 13.

• Born Standing Up by Steve Martin

A moving and insightful look into one of the greatest comedians ever — including Steve’s creative process, his incredible work ethic, and why he walked away during the height of his career.

• The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion

Didion’s story of marriage, family life, and unexpected tragedy will touch anyone who’s ever loved and lost a spouse or child.

• This Boy’s Life by Tobias Wolff

After divorce splits his family, a young Toby Woolf runs away to Alaska, forges checks, and steals cars — then redefines his life.

• Molina by Benjie Molina and Joan Ryan

The story of a father who raised 3 famous major league baseball catchers and left a legacy of “loyalty, humility, courage, and the true meaning of success.”

• Undone by Michele Cushatt

Michele’s story of divorce, cancer, and integrating a new family shows readers how embracing faith and letting go of the need to control can lead to a vibrant life despite chaos and messiness.

• Will the Circle Be Unbroken? By Sean Dietrich

Sean’s story of love, loss, and the unthinkable gives readers hope for a future that breaks the destructive cycles of previous generations.

• Turn Your Life Story Into a Captivating Memoir

If you’ve ever thought about writing a memoir (or wondered if you should even try), you now have everything you need.

Think about your theme. What have you learned that could help others? How will you tell your stories to inspire your readers and change lives?

Brush up on the 7 essential story elements to make sure your memoir is as relatable as possible.

And once you’re ready to get started, head over to How to Outline a Nonfiction Book in 5 Steps .

Faith-Based Words and Phrases

What You and I Can Learn From Patricia Raybon

A Guest Blog from Stephen King—Yes, that Stephen King

Before you go, be sure to grab my FREE guide:

How to Write a Book: Everything You Need to Know in 20 Steps

Just tell me where to send it:

• Skip to main content
• Skip to primary sidebar
• Skip to footer

Memoir coach and author Marion Roach

Welcome to The Memoir Project, the portal to your writing life.

How to Write A Memoir in Essays

Sorting the Stories — Memoir as Essay Collection

by Linda Styles Berkery

When I told a friend that I was taking a memoir-writing class, she replied, “Your life just isn’t that interesting.” Obviously she was thinking autobiography , not understanding memoir . I ignored her comment and continued to write about the small threads of wisdom I’ve learned.

After many edits, additions, and subtractions, I had built a wardrobe. I had a collection of fourteen personal essays—each one told through the lens of a dress. A Little Black Dress —learning compassion as illustrated by growing up in a funeral home. Memory Gown —naming mistakes as illustrated by a trip to the ER. Red Mini —seeing individuals as illustrated by teaching third grade. Ordinary dresses can bring out profound lessons.

Since all the writing pieces were in essay format, I adjusted Marion Roach Smith’s famous writing math, It’s about X as illustrated by Y to be told in a Z , and made a chart. To my Z factor, (essays) I added color and noted the dress: a turquoise paisley print, a navy maternity dress, an orange Hawaiian muumuu, a yellow sundress from 1941, a blue velvet jumper.

Each essay could stand alone, yet a book kept coming to mind. It was not enough to say I have a collection of “dress stories” of different length and various moods. I had more work to do. Although my structure would not be typical of a book length memoir (Act 1, Act 2, Act 3), even memoir as an essay collection must have an overall arc—a roof overhead, not just dress threads running through. Yes, memoir can be an essay collection, but it still needs structure and order.

I printed each story individually and laid them across my living room carpet. I knew which essay to put first and which would be last, but the other twelve? Originally I was tempted to group them. These three relate to my father’s WWII stories—put them together. Two had childhood dresses. My husband was mentioned in this group. But nothing really worked until my wonderful editor, Robyn Ringler, passed along tips she had learned from her own writing coach.

“Mix them up,” Robyn suggested. “Vary the word count. Don’t try to force the order, but pay attention to the emotions and lessons in the stories. Then, after you collect everything in the order you think might work, read the last paragraph of one story and the first paragraph of the following story and see if that works. You might need to do that process a few times.”

Robyn was right. I did arrange the essays a few times. But since these were, after all, dress stories, I got creative. If I had a photo of the dress, or a scrap of material from the dress, I stapled it to the printed page. Clearing a closet rod, I hung each essay from fourteen skirt hangers and started arranging them for a book. (Don’t try this at home.) I moved them and moved them until I could see a lovely rainbow arc for the entire collection.

When I was finally comfortable with the flow, I released my dress stories from their hangers and returned to the computer to cut and paste the individual essays into one long document. More edits. Moving paragraphs. Breaking up stories into parts. Adding just a bit more here and there. Writing an introduction and a final note to the reader. Two years after I wrote the first “dress story” for a memoir class, the book was published as Reflections: A Wardrobe of Life Lessons. Memoir, like a classic great dress, never goes out of style.

From the Introduction:

The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.

—Helen Hayes

At ten, I wasn’t the moody middle child wanting to be noticed, as much as the one who always seemed to notice. I was the sorter of stories, the keeper of traditions. Reaching up, or out, or down, I saw invisible threads that joined people together. I still do. Now, at seventy, I’m connecting more strands. And dresses are coaching my memory.

Three hard white suitcases live under my bed. I yank out the middle one and plop it on the blue star quilt. I’m not loading it up for a trip; it’s already full. I know what’s inside: dresses, scraps of fabric from dresses, and old photos. Clicking on the double locks feels like opening a black box of flight recordings. Messages vibrate from crinkles and creases, stains and frills. Memories rise from cotton, velvet, and silk—fibers from my journey through life.

Wisdom remains on the fold of one dress. I smooth a wrinkle and kindness appears. When I trace my pinky over white lace, I remember letting go. Hope is in there too, along with judgment, loss, compassion, forgiveness…a wardrobe of memories just waiting to be unpacked. Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.” I agree. But sometimes a life lesson can also be worn as a dress.

  Excerpt from a middle essay:  Navy Maternity

My first maternity outfit was a long-sleeved navy blue dress from Sears that I bought for my father’s wake and funeral. I wore it again on Father’s Day and then buried it under the lilac bush in my childhood backyard, watering the ground with my tears. The words from a homily echoed in my head. Ritualize where you are now . That’s what I was doing—dressing a wound by burying a dress…

The moment I stepped out of that dress, I felt different. Lighter. Aware. I was carrying a new life—had been all along—but now I could finally breathe. I glanced in the mirror and saw myself as a mother-to-be. I shoved the dress in the bag and tossed it in the car. The dress was easy to remove, but not the grief. Shifting my focus to new life, I decided to take one small step.

The following week, on my final day of teaching elementary school, I drove to my childhood home only two blocks away. I pulled the navy maternity dress from the white plastic bag. My mother was at work. But I didn’t need her. I knew where my father’s garden tools were kept. I grabbed a shovel and began digging in the dirt near the lilac bush—Dad’s favorite bush. It didn’t take long to scoop a hole big enough to bury a death dress…

Excerpt from the final essay: Dressing for a Reunion

At the Hyatt Regency Hotel near Dulles Airport, I’m wearing the same tri-colored dress that I wore for my 50 th  high school reunion in 2016—it’s mostly blue, with bands of black and white. I call it my past-present-future dress. The dress is making an encore appearance in 2017 at a different reunion tonight.  Can it really be called a reunion if we’ve never met?  My husband tells me to hurry. We exit the elevator and enter a full dining room. The celebration begins.

Arms reach across the table to shake my hand. A shoulder nudges close. I feel a tap on my back. Legs move toward me. Fingers clasp. Another arm extends around my waist. Then hugs, so many embraces and tears. I am aware of my middle-ness. I am a quiet middle child, in the middle of a loud story. I am in the middle of history, in the middle of generations, in the middle of Danish fishermen and American flyers. I’m standing in the middle of memory and expectation because I did what middle children do best—I made connections…

Author’s bio: Linda Styles Berkery holds an M.A. from Russell Sage College. Linda taught third grade, led retreats and worked in parish ministry. Her writings on faith/life have been published in various magazines, blogs and books. Her new book is Reflections: A Wardrobe of Life Lessons. 

HOW TO WIN A COPY OF THE BOOK I hope you enjoy Writing Lessons. Featuring well-published writers of our favorite genre, each installment takes on one short topic addressing how to write memoir. It’s my way of saying thanks for coming by. Love the author featured above? Did you learn something in the how-to? Then you’ve got to read the book. And you can. I am giving away one copy, and all you have to do to win is leave a comment below about something you learned from the writing lesson or the excerpt. I’ll draw winners at random (using the tool at random dot org) after entries close at midnight on May 15, 2019. Good luck!

Share this:

Related posts:

• Writing Lessons: Picking Small Topics To Write About
• Writing Lessons: Finding Time to Write
• Writing Lessons: How to Write About A Difficult Subject, by Bette Lynch Husted

GET THE QWERTY PODCAST

Subscribe free to the podcast

Reader interactions.

Amy Laundrie says

April 14, 2019 at 7:37 am

I found this extremely helpful. I’m a columnist for “The Wisconsin Dells Events” and am searching for a way to connect my “Slice of Life” columns into a second memoir. My first, “Laugh, Cry, Reflect: Stories From a Joyful Heart” includes pieces on nature, my pet ducklings, antidotes about my teaching career, and family stories. I appreciate the tips on how memoirists should make sure the last paragraph of one piece ties in with the first paragraph of the next and I think using dresses as a uniting metaphor was brilliant. I’m eager to read your book.

April 14, 2019 at 10:50 am

Dear Amy, I appreciate your kind words. I had a lot of fun using dresses as a thread through the essays. I would love to read your own slices of life columns. Marion has helped all of us go small. Linda

Susan Davies says

April 14, 2019 at 8:05 am

I love this concept! I have been so stuck in my writing, feeling overwhelmed. I had contemplated this approach but was so unsure….this lesson just gave me that push! Wish me luck! Thank you for your lessons! I enjoy them so much!

April 14, 2019 at 10:54 am

Susan, This is great news. I found all the writing lessons to be so helpful in my own work and I am honored that sharing my experience can help nudge you today. It is so good to give back. My editor, Robyn Ringler shared these tips from her own writing teacher so we are helping each other to gain movement. Linda

Laura McKowen says

April 14, 2019 at 8:09 am

Your content is so very helpful, Marion. About nine months ago, I read your book, and then I was on one of your calls. What I learned helped me focus, organize, and finish my manuscript for my first book, a memoir about sobriety. I sent it to my publisher last week. :) Thank you!

April 14, 2019 at 10:57 am

Marion’s content has always been so helpful to me too. Congratulations on completing your story.

David Sofi says

April 14, 2019 at 8:10 am

Excellent lesson and piece by Ms. Berkery. Especially resonating was the bit about Robyn’s advice from her writing coach. I will have that posted on my Writing Wall. I also tingled with her modification of The Algorithm (That is my personal emphasis of Marion’s lesson, it is so insightful and meaningful.)

Linda Berkery says

April 14, 2019 at 8:31 am

Marion’s writing math made each essay possible and I held it in mind throughout the entire book. Robyn RIngler’s advice pulled the entire collection together. Thank you for your comments.

Careen says

April 14, 2019 at 8:14 am

I want this book! Not only for its content, but because it illustrates the principles Marion puts forth.

April 14, 2019 at 11:34 am

Careen, I hope you continue to find help from the writing lessons and the wisdom from Marion. I surely did. Linda

Ginger Hudock says

April 14, 2019 at 8:16 am

This was wonderful post! The book would be something I could relate to because my age (61) and the metaphor of dresses. This is a great and doable way to structure a book as a series of essays. It seems much more doable for me. I am comfortable writing blog posts and magazine articles, but the thought of a long book is overwhelming sometimes.

April 14, 2019 at 11:01 am

Ginger, I am with you on the thoughts of a long book. It seemed too much for me. I was so happy to find that a series of essays was a reachable goal and Marion gave good feedback when I shared that I was attempting to do just that – she reminded me that I still needed an overall arc in order to print them together as a book. I hope you continue.

April 14, 2019 at 8:30 am

Breaking up the writing into smaller, more manageable pieces seems to tame the bigger writing project, sticking to the algorithm in each section. I loved seeing the process of finding the structure of the book, which is my biggest challenge.

April 14, 2019 at 11:40 am

Dear Beth, Smaller pieces worked so well for this collection. And yes, with each essay I made sure to follow the writing math. I kept asking myself what is this about ? Although told through the lens of a dress, it wasn’t about the dress… it was about a universal theme. Thank you for your thoughts. Linda

April 14, 2019 at 8:35 am

I can’t tell you how often I used Marion’s book and notes from her course as I was completing this book. Such good advice.

Elizabeth says

April 14, 2019 at 8:38 am

I flipped through my closet in my mind – many ideas there for essays, including the ban on trousers for women in my high school in the sixties, and the godawful bloomers for gym class. Thank you!

April 14, 2019 at 11:09 am

Oh Elizabeth, Our minds must run similar. There is a story about those gym “dresses” from my first P E class at Russell Sage College. And oh yes, a mini dress from my teaching days, when women were not allowed to wear pants, but COULD wear a mini dress three inches above the knees. Keep flipping through your closet in your mind. Clothing is so rich to draw out the memoir essays. Thank you for your post. Linda

Ruth Crates says

April 14, 2019 at 8:59 am

I continue to look for a way to write my memoirs. Essays might be a good fit for me. I love how Linda used an unlikely subject…. dresses – to relate her life experiences. If I don’t win the book, I will buy it…I loved the exerpt about burying her grief. We can all relate to that.

April 14, 2019 at 4:30 pm

Dear Ruth, I do hope that you will continue to write memoir. I found that essays were a perfect length. Mine ranged from about 800 to 1200 words in the book. Some had several parts but each one could be read alone which helped me continue. I am happy whenever someone considers the book, the proceeds are going to assist a local thrift store, called ReStyle, from Unity House in Troy. When we have some book signings we are also inviting readers to donate a gently used dress. So my unlikely thread of dresses is really being put to good use. Linda

April 14, 2019 at 4:34 pm

Isn’t it amazing how an idea can take off in so many directions! A wonderful way to help others.

April 14, 2019 at 4:40 pm

If you are in the Albany-Troy area look for several benefit book signings on the Facebook page: Reflections: A Wardrobe of Life Lessons

Cynthia C says

April 14, 2019 at 9:04 am

Incredibly helpful hearing about the writing process! I love reading how these authors make decisions about how the final product will look.

April 14, 2019 at 4:36 pm

Cynthia, I always loved reading the writing lessons from Marion’s posts. I was fascinated with the whole process of structure. Linda

Cassandra Hamilton says

April 14, 2019 at 9:41 am

Great post. I appreciate Linda Styles Berkery sharing her process. By breaking her subject into essays she was able to work ideas in smaller sections. I like how when she focused on the larger piece, the book, she turned to a visceral and visual method: hanging up her essays, each represented by a dress, to sort and rearrange until she felt they were right. I would think the photos of the dresses also evoked in her thoughts and feelings and helped her to pack her writing with vivid descriptions. I’m inspired with her process and how she cleverly teased us with snippets of her new work. Thank you!

April 14, 2019 at 4:44 pm

Dear Cassandra, Thanks for your comments. You are right about the visual part. It really helped me to organize the flow of the essays and the overall arc of the book. (And at one point when I realized that I didn’t have a green dress – it brought up a life lesson from an old memoir of a green gym dress!) Linda

Cheryl Hilderbrand says

April 14, 2019 at 10:08 am

Since the excerpts offered here resonated so strongly, I can’t wait to read the rest of the book. Is it just women our age who grew up with dresses who are so emotionally connected to fabric, and tucks, and gathers? A quilt made from childhood dresses keeps me warm, but I worry that I should put it away so that it’s scrapbook, memory-spurring nature can be preserved. The advice from Ms. Berkery’s editor was something I needed to hear . Thank you Marion, Linda, and Robyn.

April 14, 2019 at 4:49 pm

Dear Cheryl, I do think that dresses meant a lot more to us than they do to the next generation. My own adult daughters rarely wear dresses, but they still have emotional and memories attached to clothing. My husband saved his race t-shirts and had them made into a quilt! He no longer runs, only walks due to an injury, but that quilt hangs over his couch reminding him of all those races. Robyn Ringler’s insights (my editor for the book) were so valuable in getting this collection to print. I am glad to pass her advice along. Linda

Jen Chambers says

April 14, 2019 at 10:17 am

I find this very helpful- it solidifies a concept that I’ve been working on for some time of using essays as memoir in my own work. Using a literal thread to hold the narrative together made a great metaphor here. I am intrigued by the structural ideas and hope to get the book!

April 14, 2019 at 5:18 pm

Dear Jen, Thank you for your comments. I hope you continue to use essays as memoir. It really helped me to keep going.. I could focus on one essay at a time. Indeed I kept them in separate folders on my computer until I recognized how to make “dress stories” into a literary closet collection. Best regards,’ Linda

Debbie Morris says

April 14, 2019 at 10:28 am

I’ve had an idea brewing for years now, and this style has opened up a completely new way to join them yet keep them separate. I thoroughly enjoy the teachings here as well as that wonderfully inspiring sampling of essays. I feel energized, thank you!

April 14, 2019 at 6:03 pm

Dear Debbie, Thanks for the comments. I hope this idea keeps brewing and maybe finds a similar outlet. Linda

Barbara Womack says

April 14, 2019 at 10:38 am

I love this concept and have been inspired to use a similar approach in my own (somewhat stalled) writing.

I can’t wait to read this book!

April 14, 2019 at 6:06 pm

Dear Barbara, I am glad to hear about your writing. I wish you well on the journey and am happy that you found this approach to be helpful. Linda

Ann Hutton says

April 14, 2019 at 10:44 am

Excellent! I’m sharing this with a memoir writing group I facilitate. Meanwhile, I call out a “Yes!” to visually laying out your pages to really SEE what you’ve got and how it might fit together. Once I taped 260 pages to three walls in an empty office in order to look at the structure of a memoir manuscript. That’s when I realized that I did indeed have a beginning, middle, and ending! And looking for repetitions or other glaring mistakes was easier this way, rather than trying to read through pages on a computer screen.

Many thanks!

LInda Berkery says

April 14, 2019 at 6:11 pm

Dear Ann, Wow that must have been some wall sight! Yes, I think we sometimes need a visual way to keep us moving forward. Glad that worked for you and thank you for the comments. Best to your writing group. If you send me a personal message on Facebook page for the book. I will send you my “chart” with all the essays. My editor used that page for a talk she was giving on memoir writing. Linda

Merrie Skaggs says

April 14, 2019 at 10:49 am

Linda’s wardrobe structure is brilliant. I learned that I might be able to include an essay I wrote about my dad in my memoir. Also, Linda’s words spoke to me on several levels, or with various threads as she might say. I am still in the unraveling stage of my memoir writing and relish the connections since I am a Marion disciple, have seen my 70th birthday, and taught third grade. I learned much from your charming writing and the lessons you shared. Thank you, Linda, and thank you to our guru Marion. I’m not going to wait to win your book; I plan to buy it, read it, and learn from it now. “. . .bury a death dress. . .” My heart strings are still vibrating.

Linda Styles Berkery says

April 14, 2019 at 11:13 am

Dear Merrie, I am so happy to meet another over 70 writer of memoir. My father’s journey through his WWII experience rescued in the North Sea by Danish fishermen and as a POW is another thread through the collection. The proceeds from this book are also being used to help ReStyle, the thrift store run by Unity House in Troy, NY – my hometown. So buying the book supports a great cause. Thank you. Linda

Carol Gyzander says

April 14, 2019 at 11:00 am

I love the connecting device of the dresses! The first essay excerpt was interesting, but then I found myself curious about how it would be used in the next…and the next…

April 14, 2019 at 4:53 pm

Carol, I am so glad that you found yourself curious about the dresses used and the lessons they told. Sometimes I found myself pondering how a certain dress or saved piece of fabric could bring out so many memoires. What was going on? – You start writing and then you find more and more life experiences coloring the page. Linda

Jan Duffy says

April 14, 2019 at 11:15 am

Thank you Marion for another excellent post. The idea of basing a series of personal essays on a collection of dresses is so good. As I was reading the excerpts I felt as though I was Linda’s alter ego, experiencing every emotion that she did. Good work, I hope I can be as successful in my writing endeavors.

marion says

April 14, 2019 at 2:31 pm

Dear Jan, You are most welcome. Isn’t this a lovely, helpful post? Linda did an excellent job with this and with the book. I am delighted to see you here. Please come back soon. Best, Marion

Thank you Jan and Marion for your kind remarks. Several readers have commented that they felt they were standing right with me as they read. So we touched universal topics – close to our hearts. Linda

Karen Elizabeth Lee says

April 14, 2019 at 11:42 am

Thank you for writing this piece. I have been struggling with structure for my memoir for almost a year! writing short pieces as that is how it seems to be unfolding but then questioning myself – “Is this the right or acceptable format?” “Can I do it this way?” Your insight gives me the courage to follow this path – the essay path – to see where it will lead me! thank you.

April 14, 2019 at 4:57 pm

Dear Karen, I never started out to write a book or a collection. I just began with one essay of a brown plaid dress – a short piece for a writing assignment. I casually remarked, “I could probably write a lot more essays through the lens of a dress…” and I received such encouragement to continue. See where the short pieces lead you. Perhaps you have a collection rather than a traditional memoir book. Blessings for your good work. I am happy that this piece could encourage you. Linda

Cheryl A Kesling says

April 14, 2019 at 2:19 pm

Thank you, Linda, for sharing your story. I’m a 72-year-old struggling writer working on a memoir since 2014. It seems life keeps flying in front of me to the point of building a wall too high to see over. I’ve journaled, keeping track of unimaginable tragic moments and survival. I’ve written words on paper for a critique group but never seems to hit the mark, or at least to my satisfaction. Maybe I’m too hard on myself. Your memoir essay structure is something I’ve been thinking about for a long time but I know that each essay needs a reason or a lesson learned, and that is been my problem. Knowing what lessons I’ve learned is hard to put on paper when one holds back emotions. I’m sure reading your book would be helpful. Maybe making a chart as you did from Marion’s math and color coding for different periods ( as told in a Z- the essay) and using one metaphorical object to push the essays along is the answer for me as well. Thank you again.

April 14, 2019 at 5:06 pm

Dear Cheryl, Thank you for your heartfelt comments. Some essays (lessons) needed space and time before I could write about them. We all tend to be hard on ourselves. Keep writing. and Keep journaling. I found that going back to journals and circling some key memoires allowed me to move toward an essay. But journal writing is different than writing for print and I had to allow some pieces to stay in a journal and not try to force them to be an essay. But making the chart using X, Y, and Z was the most important formula I learned from Marion.

Etty Indriati says

April 14, 2019 at 3:11 pm

I love the excerpt of Linda’s book as it reflects the “what it is about” in Marion’s online course The Memoir Project that I took; and Linda cleverly wrote her book into chapters of personal essays. It makes me want to read the whole book! It is also inspires me to not giving up writing a memoir.

April 14, 2019 at 5:09 pm

Dear Etty, Marion’s outline is a wonderful way to start. I hope you can read the whole book and please don’t give up writing memoir in whatever form it takes. I think reflecting through writing is a blessing. Thank you for the comments. Linda

iliana says

April 14, 2019 at 7:23 pm

Linda, thanks so much for sharing aspects of your writing process! Cut and paste, and I really mean printing the pages, cutting where needed and rearranging, gluing them on another blank page, was my graduate advisor’s way of writing and editing articles, reports and proposals. That’s how I wrote my thesis too, hands on, feeling it. Looking at a dress as a metaphor, so clever! Looking forward to reading your book :)

April 14, 2019 at 7:36 pm

Seems like I did something like that old fashioned cut and paste on my TYPED thesis back in the day. Thanks for your kind remarks. Linda

KRISTA L RUSKIN says

April 14, 2019 at 7:28 pm

OMG. I’ve been struggling with not having lived “an important life” and yet wanting to write a memoir for my kids. My father died when I was 31. I often wished I had received more lessons from him and had them for my kids. In recording my own, 20 years later, on the upside of my life lessons, I’m hoping they see the possibilities for their lives even in The dark days. The idea of writing bits and and pieces of varying length and letting them tell me how to structure the book is liberating. Thank you!

April 15, 2019 at 9:00 pm

Dear Krista, I am happy that you can see your life as memoir worthy as it surely is. My father died when I was 26 and yet his influence is strongly felt in this collection. I wish you all the best for your writing. Linda

Lisa Sonora says

April 15, 2019 at 8:43 am

So many take aways here!

I haven’t read all of the comments, but skimmed, so hope to offer something not shared yet.

First, that you ignored your friends comment about writing about your life.

Then… using Marion’s algorithm for each of the essays (described in the second paragraph) —brilliant!

I too, am a student of Marion, and have been so STUCK on trying to figure out the algorithm for my memoir.

Your piece gave me the idea to look closer at the individual pieces within the book and trying to name what those are really about.

I just love the image of you hanging up your essays like dressed in the wardrobe, and laughed out loud at “don’t try this at home”. Because, yeah, I would try that at home — it make sense to give the writing some physical form that relates to the subject to help see it differently.

Congrats on the publication of your book, Lynda — I cannot wait to read it!

April 15, 2019 at 9:07 pm

Dear Lisa, Thank you for such great comments. Yes, hanging up those dress stories was crazy but a fun way to really see them in place. And it was wonderfully refreshing too. We often need to trust our own instincts sometimes more than the voices of dear but sometimes bossy friends! Best to you for your own writing. Linda

Cathy Baker says

April 15, 2019 at 8:47 am

I love everything about this post as I’m working on a book with mini-memoirs on our building my future writing studio, Tiny House on the Hill. After reading this post, I might consider having fewer chapters with a higher word count. I always learn so much from you, Marion, as well as those you coach. Thank you!

April 15, 2019 at 9:09 pm

I love the idea of mini-memoirs! Great! Thanks for your comments. I have also learned so much from Marion and her writing posts. Linda

Tammy Roth says

April 15, 2019 at 11:51 am

I’m always looking for clever ideas of arranging memoir topics and this is just brilliant. Thank you for sharing the process.

April 15, 2019 at 9:14 pm

Dear Tammy, Arranging those memoir essays was made easier using Robyn’s advice along with Marion’s wisdom. I was honored to share the process with so many interesting writers. Thank you for your comments. Linda

April 16, 2019 at 8:35 pm

Oh my! This came at the most perfect time. I am trying to write a memoir and it keeps running through my mind that I should try doing it in essays. I lost my son to suicide, so it’s about grief, hope, and faith. I loved what Robyn shared with you about connecting the last paragraph of one to the beginning of the next. The excerpts are wonderful. I can’t wait to read the book. Thank you for sharing your wisdom.

April 16, 2019 at 9:01 pm

Dear Faith, I am glad that Robyn ‘s idea might help you find your way through a collection of essays. She suggested the last paragraph and the first one should flow for the reader but they can still stand alone as individual essays. I wish you blessings in your writing. Linda

Naomi Johnson says

April 16, 2019 at 10:51 pm

I LOVED the wonderful advice from her editor, while she was still working out the overarching structure: “pay attention to the emotions and lessons in the stories . . .. Then . . . read the last paragraph of one story and the first paragraph of the following story and see if that works.”

Lovely, indeed!

April 17, 2019 at 7:00 pm

Thank you for your comments. Robyn Ringler and Marion offer such valuable suggestions. And I am grateful. Linda

Melanie says

April 17, 2019 at 2:49 pm

I’m in the process of structuring my next book now. I was right there, with descriptions of white suitcases containing “…fabrics from my journey through life.” I could hear the crinkle of crinoline, and I was reminded of one of my absolute favorite couplets by Joni Mitchell: “Everything comes and goes, marked by lovers and styles of clothes…” As I enjoyed all the other places the piece had taken me, I asked myself, “Do I have milestones (like these dresses) that mark the milestones of my life?” And I realized, I DO! I am a songwriter, so of COURSE, every milestone has a song! Thanks, Marion & Linda for such beautiful and inspiring work.

April 17, 2019 at 5:23 pm

You are most welcome, Melanie. Please come back soon. Best, Marion

April 17, 2019 at 7:06 pm

Thank you for your comments and the great quote! Love it. And nice for me too as my maiden name was Styles. I am glad that you found yourself asking questions about your own milestones.

Teresa Reimer says

April 20, 2019 at 9:12 pm

What a wonderful idea to hang each story and it’s inspiration on a clothes hanger. Organization and expanding on the theme! Can’t get much better than that.

April 22, 2019 at 6:15 pm

Teresa Thanks for your comments. Yes it was definitely different but fun! Linda

Donna P says

April 29, 2019 at 11:36 am

Dear Linda,

Your ideas, along with Marion’s brilliant advice, strike a real chord with me. I, too, have been struggling with the concept of essays within a memoir. Due to health issues, I have not given my book as much attention lately. I’m going to paste this article to my forehead to keep it top of mind! Truly inspirational at a time when I really needed it. Thanks to you and to Marion. I will definitely buy the book.

April 29, 2019 at 12:34 pm

Dear Donna, Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Marion’s advice really helped me stay focused on each individual essay. And I am so happy to know that sharing my experience making a collection of essays could help you move your own writing along. Best to you for your writing. Linda

Gail Gaspar says

Essays in the form of a wardrobe of dresses, yes. I am wondering if my memoir will take the form of essays unified by a theme (I adore metaphors) and you have illustrated how it can done. As a coach, I am happy you listened to your inner voice and not to the friend who remarked, “Your life just isn’t that interesting.” I appreciate how you show, don’t tell, about what each dress represents. The image of your dress stories hanging in your closet is an excellent reminder of how creative and expansive the writing process can be – when we allow it.

Laurie says

May 1, 2019 at 3:10 pm

Marion – This is my first visit to your blog and site. So much info! Thank you! I too am working on a memoir that right now is a collection of stories. This truly resonated with me as I am stuck as to how to pull them together into a book. Linda – your insights and suggestions couldn’t have been more on target. I have already printed them out and moved them about – but I think I need to write a few more – and then piece them together – reading the last para / first para – and adding bits as you suggested. I LOVED reading the excerpt of the book – what a wonderful way to tie the stories together by the dresses. As a writer – I loved that creative idea to tie it all together – and as a reader – each except you shared – I could apply to my own life and my own past closet of dresses! Well done! I would be tickled to win the book and read more!

May 1, 2019 at 5:47 pm

Dear Laurie, Thank you for your thoughtful remarks. Finding Marion’s blog and site is certainly a real gift. I was fortunate to take a class when she was teaching in Troy before everything went online. But look how many more people can be reached. I am delighted that you could relate to the dress stories and find memories arriving from your own closet. I loved making the book a collection/ wardrobe of stories. All the best to you with your own memoir. Linda

May 2, 2019 at 11:52 am

What a lovely way to seamlessly piece together a book! I’m in awe of your process and inspired by the concept! I’ve always struggled to let go of certain garments because of the memories associated with them. Now I understand why: Not only does each one offer a memory, but you’ve proven each one tells a story. I can’t wait to visit your story-closet and read more!

May 2, 2019 at 8:59 pm

Dear Susan, Thank you for your kind remarks. I hope you do visit my “story-closet” as well as peek at some life lessons from your own wardrobe. Linda

Maggie Yoest says

May 3, 2019 at 10:57 am

I am new to memoir writing and have been encouraged by Susan and Marion. Hopefully, as I stay with this, some of the fear will dissipate and the courage to share myself and my view will grow. Thank you both!

May 3, 2019 at 4:00 pm

Maggie, I hope you continue with memoir. Marion is a wonderful guide. Linda

SITEWIDE SEARCH

Join me on instagram, mroachsmith.

Memoir Essay

Memoir essay generator.

Writing out our memories of the past and present , while putting it into paper and pen, for the world to see sounds like a dream come true for those who are into this. To a smaller few, it may sound more like an open diary.   Though it may sound sad to hear, a memoir is actually a fun way of writing something you wish to be remembered. Sounds like a good idea? Do you wish to want to know how and what to write in a memoir? Easy! Check them out below and download any of our  5+ Memoir Essay examples that fit you.

5+ Memoir Essay Examples

1. memoir essay template.

Size: 492 KB

2. Visual Memoir Project Essay

3. Narrative Memoir Essay

Size: 463 KB

4. Example of Memoir Essay

Size: 171 KB

5. Essay on the Memoir Literary Genre

6. Mexicana-Chicana Memoir Essay

Size: 74 KB

What is a Memoir?

A memoir is taken from the French word mémoire which means memory or something to reminiscent. A memoir is a nonfiction narrative that talks about the situations in your life that you want to hold on too. A memoir is different from an essay since the person reading the memoir is taken back to a journey of the author’s life while an essay is a writer’s thoughts and ideas.

What is a Memoir Essay?

A memoir essay is a type of writing where you put both your thoughts and ideas as well as your desired memories together. It is also known as an essay length adaptation of a memoir . The word count ranges from 1,000/2,000 words to 8,000 or 10,000 words. Nothing more, nothing less. Your memoir essay is different from your autobiography. You are not going to write your whole life story, but some snips of your life story.

How to create a Memoir?

Although there are some ways in creating such a beautiful memoir, sticking to the facts is better than making things that do not belong or you have not experienced a part of it to make it sound better. The result is, it is no longer considered a memoir but an essay since you are only sharing your thoughts and not the actual facts. However, there are easy steps you can read to know and understand how to write the perfect memoir.

Think Of What Theme You Are Going For.

Brainstorming what theme you are going for is essential when writing your memoir. Your theme could range from happy or sad. The theme is important in your memoir.

Identify and Write Down Your Memories.

Brainstorm. The second thing you can do is to brainstorm for memories you wish to write down. From your earliest memories to your most recent ones, especially those that gave you the biggest impact on your life.

Your memoir must be truthful.

This is a big deal when it comes to writing your memoir, since this is about you and your special memories. Adding somebody else’s experience to make your memoir sound better is wrong and should be avoided at all costs.

Connect each memory to your current ones, and don’t be afraid to get vulnerable.

Interconnecting your previous memories to your current ones is okay. Some memories often interlink. Also, when writing, do not be afraid to get vulnerable. Readers often relate more if the author gets on to their level of vulnerability.

Write a memoir you want others to remember you for.

When writing, we often want to think about the rules, the formats, how we want our readers to view it. But remember, this is your memoir. Write the facts, write about your memories but do so while having fun. Let your readers be a part of your story. Draw them in. Let them dive in and see how you are viewed in their eyes.

Put life in your memoir.

Readers would love to hear you laugh, to see you smile, to sympathize with you when you are sad through your words. They want to be in your shoes through words. To view your experiences through your eyes.

What is the difference between a memoir and a memoir essay?

A memoir in layman’s terms is like a big open diary you let people read. You write the memories that affected you most from the beginning to present. A memoir essay however is an essay adaptation of a memoir. There is very little difference between the two.

How many paragraphs does it take to write a memoir essay?

It only takes about 2 to 4 paragraphs to write your memoir essay or half a page long.

Writing a memoir essay may take a while and some trial and errors, but as long as you stick to the simple rules on how to write a memoir essay, you are all set. Just remember to look at the rules and to have fun while sticking to the facts as well.

Text prompt

• Instructive
• Professional

Write about a pivotal moment in your life for your Memoir Essay.

Discuss the impact of a significant relationship in your life in your Memoir Essay.

Home — Essay Types — Memoir Essay

Memoir Essay Examples

Selecting the right topic is the cornerstone of a compelling memoir essay. It's the initial step in crafting a narrative that resonates with readers and leaves a lasting impression. The chosen topic serves as the foundation upon which your entire memoir is built, setting the tone and direction for your storytelling journey. To better illustrate this point, let's examine some memoir essay examples in our base of essays.

When you carefully consider your memoir essay topics, you're essentially inviting readers into your world, allowing them to connect with your personal experiences, emotions, and insights. The more relatable the topic, the deeper the connection you can establish with your audience. After all, the power of memoir lies in its ability to evoke empathy and understanding.

To gain a better understanding of this concept, we can turn to some well-known memoirs, such as "The Glass Castle" by Jeannette Walls and "Eat, Pray, Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert, as memoir essay examples. "The Glass Castle" revolves around her unconventional upbringing and the struggles of her impoverished family, illustrating how the right topic can engage readers and make a memoir not just a personal narrative but a shared human experience.

Finding Inspiration for Memoir Essay Topics

So, where can you find inspiration for your memoir essay topics? The answer lies in your own life experiences, and there are countless facets to explore.

I. Start by reflecting on significant life events, such as your childhood memories. Think about the moments that shaped you, the adventures that left a lasting impression, and the challenges that forced you to grow. These events often hold the key to compelling memoir essay ideas, as they offer glimpses into your personal journey.

• A Life-Altering Event and Its Profound Impact
• Exploring the Impact of Milestones in Life
• Personal Crisis Leading to Transformation
• Influence of Key Moments on Life's Path
• Lessons from Milestones: Successes and Failures

II. Additionally, consider your milestones and achievements. Successes and accomplishments, both big and small, can be fertile ground for memoirs. Whether it's graduating from college, starting a business, or completing a marathon, these moments represent your growth and perseverance.

• Reflecting on the Marathon: Perseverance and Transformation
• Transitioning from College to the Real World
• Entrepreneurial Ventures: Navigating Challenges in Business
• Shaping Character Through Personal Achievement
• Personal Growth Through Accomplishments

Personal challenges and growth experiences also make for engaging topics. Everyone faces adversity at some point in their lives, and sharing how you navigated through these trials can inspire and connect with readers who have undergone similar struggles.

Of course, here are the essay topic examples marked up as a list:

• My Journey Through Personal Challenges and Triumph
• My Most Memorable Experiences in Life
• Navigating Personal Struggles for Personal Growth
• Triumphing Over Life's Obstacles: Stories of Resilience
• Lessons from Adversity: Building Empathy and Connection Through Shared Struggles

Lastly, your career and professional experiences are a goldmine of stories. Share your successes, the challenges you've faced, and the valuable lessons you've learned along the way. Your career journey can offer valuable insights and inspiration to others pursuing their own professional paths.

• Lessons Learned from My Professional Journey
• How Past Experiences Influence Our Present
• Overcoming Challenges and Thriving in My Career
• Shaping Growth Through Career Path and Mentorship
• Inspiring Others with Insights from My Professional Odyssey

By delving into these various aspects of your life, you can uncover memoir topics that are not only deeply personal but also universally relatable, creating a narrative that resonates with readers on a profound level.

A memoir essay, with its vulnerability, introspection, and focus on key life lessons, differs from a standard personal essay or autobiography. Unlike chronological autobiographies, memoir essays thoughtfully reflect on specific meaningful experiences. By candidly revisiting impactful moments, memoir essayists gain self-awareness, find meaning in hardship, preserve family histories, and share life-changing epiphanies. 

Great memoir essays , illustrated by memoir essay examples , balance vivid scenic recreation, raw emotional insights, and universal truths. Evocative sensory details transport readers to pivotal moments, while introspective narration reveals the inner turmoil, growth, and realizations that recollection brings. The most compelling memoirs extract wisdom from lived experience, inviting readers to reflect on their own journeys.

Memoir Essay’s Central Theme 

Identifying your memoir essay’s central theme or message provides focus for both writing and reflection. Set aside time for deep thought about the big life moments you could explore within your memoir essay and what universal insights they hold.

Common memoir themes include overcoming adversity, grief and loss, achievement, parenthood, sexual identity, family dynamics, disillusionment, recovery from trauma or addiction, spiritual awakening, and more. For example, a parent’s memoir may center on personal growth through raising a special needs child. A memoir of grief could find meaning in love and legacy after loss.

Once you land on a specific theme, use it as a touchstone while shaping your memoir’s scenes, tone, and takeaways. Let it guide your writing toward impactful self-revelation.

Memoir Essay’s Structure

An intentional structure connects your memoir’s scenes into a cohesive narrative arc. Chronological organization works well for linear stories, while a braided narrative with interwoven timelines suits winding journeys. 

Some memoirs, as in memoir essay examples for college students, utilize frame narratives that “bookend” the story, like Sidonie-Gabrielle Colette’s childhood recollections in My Mother’s House. Others divide chapters into thematic segments, like cancer survivor Kathy Kamen’s shifting outlooks in The Medicine Wheel.

Play with different structures until you find one that mirrors your narrative’s emotional cadence. Outline essential scenes like epiphanies, darkest moments, turning points, and resolutions to build your blueprint. A strong structure elevates your memoir’s impact.

Memoir Essay’s Voice and Tone

An authentic narrative voice and complementary tone shape how readers connect with your memoir. Your voice should fit the story, while your tone reflects the narrator’s perspective. 

For example, a humorous, ironic tone could capture the absurdities of childhood. A somber, reflective tone may suit a memoir of loss. Word choice profoundly affects tone, so select descriptors deliberately based on the desired mood and emotions.

Beyond tone, stylistic devices like metaphor and imagery convey voice. Is your narrator contemplative? Sarcastic? Lyrics? Fragmented sentences or analytical asides also contribute nuance. Remember your voice makes the memoir uniquely yours.

Bringing Scenes and Characters to Life 

Transport readers right into your memoir’s most pivotal scenes using vivid sensory description. Share sights, sounds, smells, textures, and tastes that set the scene and make it relatable. Zoom in on resonant images and telling details that reveal deeper meaning and character insight.  

Dialogue and anecdotes also help dramatize events and portray relationships. Let important conversations and interactions unfold naturally to illuminate the interpersonal dynamics, motivations, and emotions at play. Specific, evocative details turn recalled moments into immersive scenes.

Polishing Memoir Essays

Refine your first draft by revisiting your memoir’s central theme and emotional impact. Strengthen the narrative arc and deepen insights through targeted revision:

• Read sections aloud to polish language and flow.  
• Ask trusted readers for constructive feedback.
• Develop motifs and metaphors that underscore themes.
• Enhance scenes with more vivid sensory descriptions. 
• Adjust structure and pacing as needed.
• Clarify the narrative perspective and voice.

Revision is key to crafting a memoir that resonates. It takes raw recollections and molds them into universally relatable experiences suffused with meaning.

Free Memoir Essay Examples

We hope these free memoir essay examples inspire you to embrace the power of storytelling and to celebrate the uniqueness of every life’s narrative. Explore the pages of these memoirs to witness the resilience of the human spirit, the complexities of relationships, and the transformative power of personal reflection. These examples of memoir essays are a testament to the richness of the human experience and the artistry of memoir writing.

College Memoir Essay Examples

These insightful essays provide a glimpse into the diverse and transformative experiences of college life. Explore these stories of growth, challenges, and self-discovery as students share their personal narratives, shedding light on the unique journey that is higher education. Whether you’re a student seeking inspiration or simply curious about the college experience, these essays offer valuable insights and perspectives.

How to Write a Memoir Essays

Tips in memoir essay infographics.

Checklist for Writing a Memoir Essay

• Before You Start

✓ Choose a Specific Topic: select a meaningful and impactful life experience to write about.

✓ Identify Your Message: determine the central theme or message you want to convey through your memoir essay.

✓ Gather Memories: brainstorm and collect memories, details, and emotions related to your chosen experience.

✓ Narrow Your Focus: decide on the specific aspect or moment within your experience that you’ll explore in-depth.

• Structuring Your Memoir Essay

✓ Create a Three-Part Structure: plan for a clear beginning, middle, and end in your essay.

✓ Craft an Engaging Introduction: start with a compelling hook that introduces the topic and grabs the reader’s attention.

✓ Develop the Body: explore your chosen experience in detail, utilizing vivid descriptions, emotions, and reflections.

✓ Conclude Thoughtfully: wrap up your essay by tying together loose ends and leaving readers with something to ponder.

✓ Reflect and Connect: consider the broader implications of your memoir, connecting your personal experience to universal truths or lessons.

• Writing Your Memoir Essay

✓ Write Clearly and Concisely: use clear and concise language to convey your story and message effectively.

✓ Use Sensory Details: incorporate sensory details to bring your experiences to life for the reader.

✓ Be Honest and Authentic: share both strengths and vulnerabilities to make your memoir more relatable and authentic.

✓ Embrace Vulnerability: don’t shy away from sharing your emotions and vulnerabilities, as they add depth to your narrative.

✓ Revise and Edit: carefully revise and edit your work for clarity, coherence, and overall polish.

• Additional Resources

✓ Refer to Memoir Examples for College Students: seek inspiration and guidance from memoir examples tailored to college students’ experiences.

✓ Explore how to start a memoir essay examples: study various ways to begin your memoir essay effectively, drawing from examples.

Using this checklist can help you stay organized and focused while writing your memoir essay, ensuring that you craft a compelling and meaningful narrative.

While delving into the intricacies of writing a memoir essay, it’s essential to embrace the complexities of your narrative, weaving together the threads of your experiences with insight and reflection. However, expanding your understanding of different essay formats can further refine your writing craft. Specifically, by crafting a problem-solution essay, you can develop a keen eye for identifying and articulating challenges within your stories, while also presenting thoughtful, engaging resolutions. This skill not only enhances the depth and structure of your memoir but also equips you with a versatile approach to writing that can be applied across various genres. Engage with this dynamic essay format to enrich your storytelling toolkit and bring a new level of sophistication to your memoir.

Figurative Language Memoir

Throughout history, figurative language has been used as a powerful tool for writers to convey complex emotions and ideas in a more engaging and impactful way. From the use of metaphors to similes, personification, and hyperbole, figurative language adds depth and creativity to writing, allowing…

The Power of Traveling: Personal Experiences and Reflections

Introduction Traveling is one of the most enriching experiences one can have. It exposes you to new cultures, customs, and ways of thinking. However, it can also be challenging and unpredictable, making it a true adventure. As a college student, I have had the opportunity…

The Transformative Power of Literacy

Literacy, in its simplest definition, is the ability to read and write. However, it is much more than that. Literacy is a fundamental skill that enables individuals to communicate, comprehend, and learn. It is an essential tool for success in life and is the foundation…

The Significance of Family: A Memoir Paper

Introduction Families are the cornerstone of society. They provide love, support, and guidance to their members, helping them navigate the ups and downs of life. Each family has its unique story to tell, shaped by the experiences they share together. As a college student, I…

Get professional help in 5 minutes

Lessons Learned from Childhood, College, and Long-Distance Connections

Friendship is a fundamental aspect of human life. This memoir reflects on the author’s experiences with childhood friends, college friends, and long-distance friendships, highlighting the lessons learned and the power of friendship in overcoming life’s challenges. Childhood Friends Childhood friends are often the first friends…

Preserving Family Culinary Traditions: A Connection to My Cultural Roots

Food is an essential part of our culture and identity, and it plays a significant role in shaping our family traditions. Growing up, my family’s kitchen was always filled with the smells of delicious home-cooked meals, and the recipes that have been passed down through…

My Journey as a Syrian Refugee: Shedding Light on the Realities of the Crisis

With over 80 million people forcibly displaced from their homes. Syria has been at the forefront of this crisis, with millions of Syrians fleeing the country due to the ongoing civil war. As a Syrian refugee myself, I have experienced the challenges and obstacles that…

500 Words about My Life Experience: How Life Experiences Shape Us

Life is a journey filled with twists and turns that shape who we are today. Our past experiences, both good and bad, have a profound impact on our lives and help us grow into the person we are today. As a college student, I have…

Journey of Self-Discovery through Memoirs

Introduction Memoirs are a powerful tool for self-discovery. They allow individuals to reflect on their past experiences and use them to gain a better understanding of themselves. In this essay, I will be sharing my personal journey of self-discovery through my memoir. I hope that…

From Struggles to Success: My Journey

Introduction Life is a journey full of twists and turns, ups and downs. My journey has been no exception. Growing up, I faced many challenges that tested my resilience and strength. However, through hard work and determination, I was able to overcome these struggles and…

What is a memoir essay?

This type of writing is often mixed up with autobiography essays. However, it is not the same as it represents a first-person narrative that describes a certain part of a person's life. The topics and ideas are always chosen by the author. In terms of comparing a personal essay vs memoir, it is necessary to understand that memoir still keeps to a certain chronology even if describing a single day.

How to write memoir essays?

Even though it is not a fiction story, memoir essay writing still uses various metaphors or literary devices that increase an emotional effect. You can see our memoir essay examples that show how it is done in practice. The structure has a strong temporal effect and an overly emotional tone, which is acceptable for memoir writing. Remember to end your writing with an important argumentation that will make readers think.

How to start writing a memoir essay?

To begin writing a memoir essay, start by identifying a compelling personal story or theme from your life. Reflect on its significance and outline the key moments. Then, create an engaging opening that hooks readers, drawing them into your narrative. Finally, let your story unfold with honesty, reflection, and vivid detail.

How to write a memoir essay structure?

A memoir essay typically follows a chronological or thematic structure. Start with an engaging introduction, introduce the central theme or event, and provide vivid details. Progress through the narrative, building tension or insight. Conclude by reflecting on the significance of your story, offering lessons, or leaving readers with a thought-provoking idea.

How does a memoir essay differ from other types of writing?

Memoir essays differ by their introspective nature, centering on personal experiences and lessons learned. They often incorporate vivid descriptions and emotional depth to engage readers on a personal level.

What are some common themes explored in memoir essays?

Common memoir themes include overcoming adversity, family dynamics, personal growth, grief, identity, and transformative moments. These themes provide a framework for exploring life's complexities.

What is the ultimate goal of a memoir essay?

The primary goal of a memoir essay is to share a personal story while offering universal insights or lessons that resonate with readers. It aims to create a meaningful and reflective narrative.

How much personal detail should I include?

Be judiciously vulnerable. Share telling details that lend insight, but avoid oversharing or exposing others’ privacy. Strive for candid self-revelation in service of the larger theme.

How do I conclude in a meaningful way?

Offer closing reflections on your memoir’s central insights, tying together the theme and narrative arc. Look ahead to the future or revisit where the journey began. End on an uplifting or poignant note.

Students also browse

• Argumentative Essay
• Problem Solution Essay
• Exploratory Essay
• Research Essay
• Analytical Essay
• Profile Essay
• Exemplification Essays
• Rhetorical Analysis Essay
• Synthesis Essay
• Evaluation Essay

We use cookies to personalyze your web-site experience. By continuing we’ll assume you board with our cookie policy .

• Instructions Followed To The Letter
• Deadlines Met At Every Stage
• Unique And Plagiarism Free

How to Write a Memoir Outline: 7 Essential Steps

How do you write a memoir outline that not only results in a really captivating book about your life, but also saves you hundreds of hours? 

You know that you have a story to tell, but you don’t know how to get started with writing it. 

Hint: It starts with a memoir outline. 

But what should you include in a memoir outline? How do you structure it? What information should you add? 

When I was writing my memoir, Crowdsourcing Paris , these are the questions that occurred to me about six months too late, after I had already finished the first draft. It was only then that I realized what my so-so memoir needed to become a great memoir: an outline.

And so I set out to figure out how to write the perfect memoir outline. In this post, I want to share exactly what I learned, and how you can write a memoir outline that will save you time and increase your story’s quality. 

Need A Fiction Book Outline?

Here are the steps to write a memoir outline:

• Know when to create a memoir outline
• Write your memoir idea as a one-sentence premise
• Find the big moments in your memoir
• Add the first act to your memoir outline
• Build the outline with the second act
• Include your memoir’s final act
• Structure each scene for your memoir outline

Learning how to write a memoir outline will help you have a better memoir in a fraction of the time. How do I know? Because I tried to write a memoir—a real-life adventure story set in Paris—without an book outline and failed. Then, I began to learn how to outline a memoir, and it changed my entire writing process.

#1 – Know when to create a memoir outline

The biggest mistake I made when I was writing my memoir was in creating my outline too late. 

Honestly, I should have known better. This wasn’t my first book, it was my fifth, and each of those books relied heavily on outlines, so I knew how to write an outline.

But writing a memoir felt different. After all, it was a story about the experience I had in Paris. All I had to do was remember , right? How hard could it be?

And so it wasn’t until after I had written the first draft of my memoir that I finally realized I wouldn’t be able to make it good without writing an outline.

So when is the best time to create a memoir outline? The answer: as early as possible. 

Let me break it down:

If you’re thinking about writing a memoir, start with learning how to write a memoir outline.

If you’re in the middle of your memoir, take a step back and create an outline using the process below. 

And if you’ve already finished your memoir and are thinking about next steps, it’s not too late to create your outline to help finetune your manuscript. 

Outlining your memoir will help you at every stage of the process. 

Even if you identify more with the pantsers on the planner vs pantser spectrum , having some kind of outline using the elements below will help you.

Here’s when to create a memoir outline: 

• Before you start writing. If you haven’t started writing your memoir yet, then this is the perfect opportunity to get ahead and create your memoir outline before you start.
• If you’ve already started. Even if you’ve started writing your manuscript, you can still draft a memoir outline to use as a roadmap for your writing.
• Once you’ve completed your manuscript. Already finished writing your memoir? It’s not too late to create your memoir outline. This can help you identify any gaps in your story, and can help in your editing process. 

Now that you’ve identified when it’s the right time to learn how to write a memoir outline, it’s time to move on to the next part, which is all about what to include in your outline. 

To begin, we’ll start with your idea.

#2 – Write your memoir idea as a one-sentence premise

Why sum up your whole book idea in one sentence? Because you can’t write about everything. Good memoirs—books like Wild and Eat, Pray, Love —are not about your whole life. No, they’re about a specific season, a particular, very intense period of time. 

One of the biggest mistakes new memoir writers make is to try to do too much in one book, to share too many stories, to talk too much about details the reader doesn’t care about.

That’s why, at the very beginning, you narrow your memoir idea down to a single sentence, because it forces you to focus on only the most important events for your story. 

Then, anything that doesn’t fit in that sentence can go into the next book.

How do you write that sentence? Every premise for a memoir needs to contain three things: a character, a situation, and a lesson. 

Here’s what to include in your memoir’s one-sentence premise:

• A character . For memoir, this is going to be you, the author. Fill out a character profile template , so you can look at yourself objectively as a character in a story.
• A situation . What is the specific situation you were going through that will make up the core of the story?
• A lesson . NY Times bestselling memoirist Marion Roach Smith says , “Memoir is about something you know after something you’ve been through.” What big life lesson did you learn from this situation?

How does this look practically? Here’s an example premise from my memoir, Crowdsourcing Paris :

“ To raise $600 for his dream Paris trip, a cautious writer accomplishes 12 uncomfortable adventures given by his Internet followers, and through it all learns that the best stories come when you get out of your comfort zone. “

Let’s break that down. Character : a cautious writer. Situation : not quite enough money to make it in Paris. Lesson : the best stories come when you get out of your comfort zone.

#3 – Find your memoir’s big moments

Your premise sets the scope of your story. Again, the point of memoir is not to share everything that ever happened to you. The purpose of memoir is to share a compact but powerful story about a specific situation that led to a life-changing realization.

Once you have your premise, then you can start making a list of all of the most important moments that fit into the scope of that premise. 

Look especially for life and death moments, moments of intense romance (or betrayal), or moments of rebellion against society’s expectations.

Important Note: Don’t discount the intensity of these moments. One major realization I had as I wrote Crowdsourcing Paris was how easy it is to look back at our life and downplay the intensity of an event. 

For example, there was this one moment when I experienced sheer terror in Paris. I was in the catacombs, the 170 miles of illegal caves and tunnels below the city, and I was lost and all alone in the pitch black with nothing but a tiny LED flashlight that was all but worthless. I honestly thought I might die there. 

But for years, looking back at that moment, I would minimize the terror I felt. After all, five minutes later I was *spoiler alert* once again perfectly safe and happy. 

But the good memoirist doesn’t diminish her terror or excitement or hurt or bliss. She puts a magnifying glass to it realizing that this is where the best parts of our stories lie.

It took me three years to learn that lesson, but when I did it changed everything for me.

Tips for adding the big moments to your memoir outline: 

• Keep it relevant to your memoir’s premise. With your one-sentence premise from the previous step in mind, think about all of the big events or moments that fit into the scope of your story’s premise. 
• Think big. Include any milestones, major moments, or memorable experiences that are relevant. Include any life and death moments, and moments of intense feeling or action.
• Don’t minimize the moment’s intensity. Try to remember how intense the feeling or experience was for you, and work to authentically re-create the experience for your readers. 

#4 – Add the first act to your memoir outline

Good memoirs contain the best of a novel and a nonfiction self-help book . They should be entertaining and instructive at the same time.

And like a novel outline , good memoirs have a first, second, and third act.

Your job is to slot the events in your life into these three acts so that it feels like a cohesive story.

Here’s a trick to creating your outline: if the average memoir has 60 scenes or moments, your first act should have about 15 scenes, your second act should have about 30 scenes, and your final act should have the final 15 scenes (including your big climactic moment). 

Here are a few tips to keep in mind about your memoir’s first act:

• Begin the story as late as possible . For example, my memoir is a travel memoir, and most travel memoirs begin when the author is first arriving in the country. 
• Use flashbacks, but carefully . To begin the story as late as possible, you can use flashbacks to give the reader important information that happened earlier in the story. Be careful to only use full scenes, though, and not info-dump.
• Start big . Since my memoir is an adventure story, Shawn Coyne, creator of Story Grid , told me that my “very first scene needed to be about one of the biggest life and death moments of the book.” The same is true for your story. For example, if your story is about a romantic relationship, you can begin with a moment of love or rejection. 
• End the first act with a major decision . As the main character, it’s your decisions that drive the story. Too often, memoir writers talk about the things that happened to them, not the things that they made happen. Instead, focus on the decisions you made that drove the events of your story forward, and make sure to include one of those important decisions toward the end of your first act.

What moments from your list of big moments that you made in step #2 feel like they would fit here in the first act?

Too often, memoir writers talk about the things that happened to them, not the things that they made happen.

#5 – Insert the second act

The second act is often the hardest part of writing any story, whether a memoir or novel. 

It’s usually twice as long as the first and third acts, and often it can feel slow and disorganized if you don’t handle it right. 

Here are a couple of tips to make your second act sing:

• Start your subplot here. One thing I learned from Save the Cat is that if you’re story is going to have a subplot, it usually begins in the second act. In fact, it’s often the first scene in the second act. 
• Center your second act on the all is lost moment . This might be weird, but my favorite thing to write is the all is lost moment, the moment when everything has gone wrong and the main character finally comes to the end of themselves. Why do I like it? Because it’s always this moment when the character finally learns they need to grow if they are going to make things right. Even better, that event happens in the second act, usually about 60 to 70 percent of the way through the story. 

What moments from your list of big moments that you made in step #2 feel like they would fit here in the second act ?

#6 – Include the final act of your memoir

The third, or final, act is where all the pieces come together and all the clarity that you’ve fought for in acts one and two finally start to pay off.

For me, the final act is always the most fun to write, the payoff to all the things you’ve been building throughout the book. Have fun with it!

Here are a few tips for your third and final act:

• Your final climactic moment comes here . The climax of a novel almost always happens in the third act, and the same is true for your memoir. The climax is when the main character makes a huge, life changing decision, evolving from the smaller person he was in act 1 to the much bigger person he is in act 3.
• This is also where you learn, once and for all, the big lesson of the memoir. Remember the lesson you outlined in your premise from step #1? The moment when you finally learn and cement that lesson happens in act three.
• End the story with the conclusion of your subplot . If your subplot begins in the second act, the final moment of your subplot works really well as the final scene of your memoir. For example, the subplot of my memoir was about my relationship with my wife, and so the final moment of the book is about holding my wife’s hand as we leave Paris together. Readers are subconsciously expecting this, and when you can deliver on it, it makes them feel like your book is working.

#7 – Structure each scene for your memoir outline

Now that you’ve outlined each act and placed the big moments of your story into each act, you can start thinking about how to structure each scene.

Here I’ve learned so much from Story Grid, which says every scene must contain five things .

The five things to include in each scene for your memoir:

• Inciting incident . The conflict that begins the action of the scene.
• Progressive complications . A series of events where bad goes to worse.
• Crisis . The most important part of the scene, when a character is presented with a choice between either two very bad things or two very good things. (For more on this, check out my article on literary crisis .)
• Climax . The payoff when the character makes the decision presented in the crisis.
• Resolution . The new world order after the decision is made.

These are traditionally elements for a novel, but when I went through each scene of my memoir and rewrote them to include these five elements, it made the book as a whole much better.

Now, I plan every scene with this structure, and you should too.

Your memoir outline can change your life

It sounds kind of grandiose to say that an outline can change your life, but it’s true. Not only will the outlining process I shared above save you hundreds of hours, it will result in much better memoir.

Take the time to plan your memoir strategically, regardless of where you are in the process. Even if you’re not naturally a planner, spending time in this process will pay off for you.

And don’t forget, writing a memoir should be fun. Happy writing!

How about you? What is your one-sentence memoir premise?

Join the community.

Join 100,000 other aspiring authors who receive weekly emails from us to help them reach their author dreams. Get the latest product updates, company news, and special offers delivered right to your inbox.

10 Essential Essay-Length Memoirs You Can Read Online for Free

Short insights with big impacts.

• Photo Credit: Unsplash/Sincerely Media

Are you a fan of anecdotal reading, but lacking the time to dive into a 300 page memoir? Do you love the specificity of short essays? Or are you looking for a taste of an author’s work before you peek any deeper into their psyche? Then you might consider looking into some essay-length memoirs—think of them as memoir examples, rather than full-fledged books.

Whether you’re hoping to find a piece of writing that makes you feel less alone, or you want to expand your understanding of the human race, these true accounts will stick with you. Here are 10 phenomenal memoir examples you can read online right now for free.

Related: The Best Essay Collections to Add to Your TBR List

"Me Talk Pretty One Day"

by David Sedaris

• Photo Credit: Chris Karidis/Unsplash

Comedian and author David Sedaris wrote the memoir essay “Me Talk Pretty One Day” about his time living in Paris to learn the French language. While matriculating as a middle-aged man has its benefits—"No one will ever again card me for a drink or demand that I weave a floor mat out of newspapers"—it doesn't spare him, or any of his peers, from the abuse of their teacher. Sedaris recounts carrying a special brand of insecurity, tackling the complexity of language and the thrill of being a humorist going toe-to-toe with a stern and scathing professeure .

For collections of Sedaris’ writing, be sure to check out Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim and When You Are Engulfed in Flames .

Related: 13 Famous Memoirs Everyone Should Read Once

"Age Appropriate"

by Jen Doll

Jen Doll is a freelance journalist—whose credits include articles for The Atlantic , Esquire , and New York Magazine —and author of the young adult novel Unclaimed Baggage . In this anecdotal essay about a summer vacation spent with family, Doll explores what it means to bring your teenage self along into adulthood. Stuck between the frustration of being treated like a child by her parents, and the ever-present desire to run from the strains of adult self-sufficiency, she writes to come to terms with the different selves she houses in the context of her surroundings.

Related: 15 Best Memoirs That Will Change Your Outlook on Life

"The Price of Black Ambition"

by Roxane Gay

In “The Price of Black Ambition,” Roxane Gay interweaves a timeline of her struggles and successes with a frank discussion on the sociopolitical racism inherent in the United States. She speaks on the fact that children of color are often given an inflated sense of “ambition” at a young age, as they must work twice as hard with half as much to achieve opportunities that are more carelessly given to their white peers. And, despite the exceptional amounts of work people of color put in to move forward in life, their efforts are regularly regarded as less than—their presence in “white” circles is considered a fluke or consequence of required diversity. She refers to her ambition as a hunger that can never be satisfied in the current status quo of America.

Gay is most notable for her essay collection Bad Feminist , as well as her fiction novel An Untamed State .

Related: 8 Extraordinary Biographies About Strong Women

Want more memoirs? Sign up for the Early Bird Books newsletter and get the best daily ebook deals delivered straight to your inbox.

"My Dad Tried to Kill Me with an Alligator"

by Harrison Scott Key

• Photo Credit: Karl Bewick/Unsplash

Harrison Scott Key is the author of two memoirs: Congratulations, Who Are You Again? and The World’s Largest Man . Key details one humorous afternoon on Mississippi’s Pearl River, where he believes his brother’s “badass” antics and his father’s gruff and wild nature almost led to his death-by-alligator. Through a consideration of the differences between him and his father, he contemplates how his near-death experience might have shaped his adult life. Remembering his father fondly, Key reconsiders his own path of fatherhood.

Related: 10 Moving Biographies and Memoirs

"Explicit Violence"

by Lidia Yuknavitch

Known for her provocative novels Dora: A Headcase , The Small Backs of Children , and The Book of Joan , Lidia Yuknavitch wrote “Explicit Violence” about the terrible abuses she suffered throughout her lifetime. She talks not just of the physical acts, but the ways in which violence changed her state of mind. Yuknavitch is honest about the ways in which she was made to feel like she deserved the violence heaped upon her—and if how she didn’t deserve it, she should become the kind of person that might deserve it. With a sharp clarity, she condemns the ways in which those who suffer abuses, particularly women, are made to feel as though to talk about it is an inconvenience on those who could never understand.

For more from the life of Lidia Yuknavitch, she has also published the full-length memoir The Chronology of Water .

"Surviving Anxiety"

by Scott Stossel

In the essay “Surviving Anxiety,” journalist and author Scott Stossel opens up about his experience with mental illness. Suffering from anxiety since infancy, Stossel paints a startling and surprising picture of the measures he has to go through to appear unaffected and “normal” due to his internal (and often irrational) worries. In an honest detailing of therapeutic, medicinal, and self-medicinal attempts to get his high-functioning anxiety under control, he expresses the frustrations and constant battle those who suffer from mental illness experience. For a deeper look into Stossel’s experience and the history of anxiety, read his full-length memoir My Age of Anxiety .

"Darkness Visible"

by William Styron

• Photo Credit: Ian Espinosa/Unsplash

William Styron, acclaimed writer of Sophie’s Choice and The Confessions of Nat Turner , suffered deeply from bouts of depression. In his memoir essay, “Darkness Visible,” Styron is compelled to speak out about his struggle with mental illness after the suicide of Primo Levi. To combat the ignorance and taboo nature surrounding depression, Styron speaks about his own struggles with dark emotions, as well as the difficult path of healing. In the book of the same name, Styron expands upon this essay in a more complete memoir.

Related: William Styron: A Life in Books

"No Labels, No Drama, Right?"

by Jordana Narin

This enlightening and insightful essay comes from Jordana Narin, the winner of the New York Times 2015 Modern Love College Essay contest. Her memoir account exemplifies how new relationships have changed in the modern era, often careening toward an amorphous understanding between two people. She touches on an inclination to avoid not only labels, but vulnerability. Narin outlines how in a situation where the feelings are no less profound than something “real,” people are putting obstacles in their own paths by embracing an aversion to emotional honesty.

"I Was Pregnant, and Then I Wasn't"

by Laura Turner

• Photo Credit: freestocks.org/Unsplash

Laura Turner is a journalist who has written for such publications as the New York Times , The Atlantic , Glamour , and The Verge , with a book in-progress about the cultural history of anxiety. In this tear-jerking short memoir, Turner talks about her recent experience with a miscarriage. Her account encapsulates the worries of burgeoning motherhood put at sudden odds with grief and an overwhelming feeling of suddenly being alone. In an especially poignant and candid moment, Turner writes, “Your life doesn’t change, and that’s the strange part—because it was supposed to.”

Related: 7 Tragic Memoirs That Deserve Your Tears

"After Life"

by Joan Didion

Following the death of her husband in 2003, renowned essayist, journalist, and author Joan Didion penned “After Life.” In her essay, Didion describes the moments leading up to her husband’s sudden death, and continues on in aching detail about the moments following her realization that he was gone. She describes her “waves” of grief which were at the same time both strange and typical, and reaches for an explanation of how different grief can be when it’s unexpected.

More of Didion’s profound writings include Slouching Toward Bethlehem , The White Album , and After Henry .

Fiction & Memoirs From 6 Influential Writers

Featured photo: Sincerely Media / Unsplash ; Additional images courtesy of Chris Karidis/ Unsplash ; Karl Bewick/ Unsplash ; Ian Espinosa/ Unsplash ; freestocks.org/ Unsplash

Get the best daily book deals delivered to your inbox

© 2024 OPEN ROAD MEDIA

• We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.