college essay anecdote examples

The Admissions Strategist

How to use an anecdote to write a powerful college essay (with plenty of examples).

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“Tap, tap, tap. My fingers danced across the computer keyboard which, while attempting to distract myself from the task at hand, I pretended was a piano. The made-up tune was rhythmic and catchy, but I made sure never to press hard enough on the keys to actually start typing. I remember glaring at the blank document on the screen which seemed to mock me with an ever-blinking cursor and chanted, “write, write, write.” I would eventually write the dreaded essay but not until the clock hands were well past midnight, I had sampled every snack in the pantry, and had typed “akdgja” or some other unintelligible word 37 times in my word processor.”

If you have ever stared at a blank document or piece of paper and were unsure of what to write, you might identify with the description above.

I could have simply expressed this idea to you by writing, “I understand what it feels like to be frustrated and not know what to write.” Instead, I chose to begin with an anecdote.

An anecdote is a brief and engaging story that is used to illustrate a point. Most importantly, anecdotes are  true  stories about your life.

College admissions committees are interested in your  life experiences , what makes you different from other students, and why you would make a great college student.

By using anecdotes in your college essay writing, you have the ability to create a powerful bond between you and your audience.

These stories help convince readers of your  sincerity and engage them in your life story .

Click above to watch a video on how to use an anecdote in your essay.

Statement or Anecdote: What’s the difference?

There is certainly a time and place for using brief, non-descriptive statements in college essay writing .

When describing your family, you might note that you have two younger sisters.

Unless your essay is focused on your sisters, there is no need to launch into a story about the day your sisters were born.

However, if there is an idea or experience that you would like an admissions committee to focus on, then you might be better off using an anecdote.

Let’s look at an example:

If using a statement, you might write in your essay that failing a test was a turning point in your educational career, and that it made you a better student.

While that seems like an interesting enough statement, it is not enough to prove that you were transformed.

A powerful and convincing strategy would be to instead tell the story of how after failing your first AP Psychology exam, you started recording class lectures, taking chapter notes, and created a study group.

You might then describe the feeling after taking the next exam and finding out that you and your study group all received significantly higher scores.

This anecdote confirms the idea that you want to get across (you learn from past mistakes) by giving a specific example that your reader can imagine and with which they can identify.

What makes an effective anecdote?

Anecdotes should not be used thoughtlessly to build word count. Rather, be purposeful in the stories that you tell.

Effective anecdotes are:

• Descriptive

The anecdotes you choose to share in a college essay should be fairly short in order to avoid losing your reader’s attention.

Short stories also ensure that you still have space to thoroughly address a prompt.

To stay brief, remember that it’s unnecessary to tell a story from beginning to end.

• Instead, focus on the most important event while providing just enough context for it to make sense to someone outside of your circle of friends.
• When including anecdotes, also use descriptive writing. You want your reader to be able to use the detail in your college essay to paint an image in their mind.

In the following example, a student was asked to write about their hometown for a college essay.

Rather than describe its geographical location and basic demographics, they use anecdotal and descriptive sensory writing to evoke an emotional response from their readers.

Anyone can look up facts about a city on the Internet or in a guidebook, but only you can tell the story of your life through your own eyes :

“One road runs straight past Mann’s Red and White store, past two kids racing on four-wheelers, past a sign supposed to read Pine Acres, but is missing the C, and finally loops around to the Fisherman’s Wharf Restaurant and fishing docks. It’s evening and large fishing trawlers bring home catches of shrimp. The parking lot across the street is filled with empty eighteen-wheelers. Men in the warehouses wear knee-high white rubber boots, often called ‘Wanchese house slippers,’ and pack the catch in ice. As the sun sets, the town’s children return from their small boats and kayaks to the canals within Wanchese. They run home, covered in mud and dirt and their skin is tanned from endless hours in the sun, but they smile and are ready to do it again tomorrow.”

This brief anecdote describes the sights and sounds of the town, while also conveying the freedom neighborhood kids had to run around and play.

Finally, be sure that the anecdote you choose to include in your essay is relevant. While the story you describe might be funny or interesting, if it does not address the prompt or further the point you are making, it will only be considered a distraction.

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Where should i include an anecdote.

Structurally, there are two different parts of a college essay where an anecdote is often found.

The first is at the very beginning, and, in this case, your anecdote is used as a “hook” to engage your reader .

One of the best ways to begin a college essay is with a “cold hook.” A cold hook is an abrupt anecdote that pulls the reader into your essay right away.

Here are examples of a cold hook anecdote:

I was angry. I was confused. “Okay, almost there! Only a few more strokes.” Upon finishing my painting, I reflected on my journey to the final round of the art show. As we took our first couple steps off of the plane, the hot and humid air swarmed around us.

At the beginning of this article, I described the experience of having writer’s block and the distracting habits I turn to when I’m feeling stuck.

When using an anecdote as a hook, you want to consider what you can write that will be both relevant to the prompt, and compel your audience to continue reading.

Another way to include an anecdote in your essay is to use a story to illustrate a point.

Let’s say that you were given a prompt that asked you to write about a problem you have solved. In your response, you might include an anecdote about the time you wrote a letter to the editor to highlight an ongoing problem in your neighborhood.

You then describe the events that followed which led to a solution.

This response is an example of how you could use an anecdote to prove that you have solved a problem.  

More Examples of College Essay Anecdotes

Of course, you are probably looking for real-life examples of anecdotes in college essays that worked. Below, you’ll find a list of both pithy and detailed anecdotes for now-successful graduates. Enjoy!

Here’s a student setting the scene before giving a major presentation:

I moved centerstage of the massive arena with my two teammates by my side. Bright lights and thousands of eyes gazed at me. It’s showtime.

This is a student discussing the struggles of learning an instrument:

I had to teach myself how to read notes and play the strings. In the end, I spent hundreds of hours and countless nights watching tutorials, trying to translate the foreign language of music.  

This is a student battling anxiety and failure:

Trapped in a hurricane of doubt, I searched for the eye of the storm. I had to calm down and seek a break from the failure.

From a student who loves languages:

As I spoke with numerous professionals at the conference, I felt like French had been a part of my life since the very beginning. 

From another student who did some great charity work:

Altogether, we raised $15,000 for veterans. During the process, not only did we pair veterans with corporate mentors, but our team became more involved with veterans PTSD issues and fundraising. I had found my calling.

From a student who loves working with animals:

Outside of school, I care for two rescue dogs, a showy and energetic American Cocker Spaniel and a shy but regal English Cocker Spaniel. They haven’t let their traumtic pasts affect their moods, and neither will I. 

This is a student who writes about his love for politics:

During my first year participating in my Junior Statesmen of America chapter, I never spoke up for my beliefs or views regarding current events. Over the next two years, I changed my mindset and became willing to fail and face disagreemnt over my views. My willingness to discuss issues led me to become president of the chapter, where I involve classmates and speak to the younger students about volunteering for local campaign.

From the desk of a student who fell in love with a school after discovering an alumnus:

After concluding my visit to DC, I listened to a speech from Senator Warner, a voice for reason in a time of great confusion. I curiously Googled his history, learning that he is an alum. Senator Warner, I discovered, demonstrates why GW is the perfect university for me.

From a student who loves UPitt:

From the moment I stepped on PITT’s campus, I felt fully immersed in the community.  When I began the tour, a lively environment greeted me with students who were enthusiastically wearing PITT spirit wear and eager to help me find my way around campus.  My student tour guide seemed to know everything about the school. The student pride was inspiring, and she created a family environment I wanted to a part of.

A student and actor who loves  West Side Story :

Playing Chino was the greatest challenge I have ever faced as an actor. Witnessing the pure hatred presented in the musical forced a transformation not only in my character onstage, but also in me. I saw myself and every person in Chino; for, we all work hard to achieve what is best for ourselves and for our compatriots.

From a student and EDM composer:

A pulsing drumbeat flows through my headphones, outlining the foundation for a song.  Moments later, the strong sounds of a driving base line blast through the white noise of the underlying percussion.  The melody pours onto the track making way for a wave of rhythm and flow.  Thus begins a song; my song.  Like a brush upon canvas, music notes fly across my open laptop screen.  I am the artist of this song, this blend of emotion and color, this complexly beautiful composition that is my life.  

A student reflecting on his role in the family:

I recently heard an NPR segment about the effects of the one-child policy in the People’s Republic of China.  It described how the country has essentially produced an entire generation of “Little Emperors” that command the sole attention of their doting parents. Being a male only-child in an Asian family, hearing this story prompted immediate introspection.  I began to wonder – if I could build a prototype based on the alleged qualities of a Little Emperor, how would I compare?

From a student remembering his father:

One of my earliest memories of my father’s gravy was when I performed in my first piano recital. I remember completing my simple version of Silent Night, and as I hit the last note and prepared to stand up and take my vow, my father’s face stuck out in the crowd. I remember seeing my dad laughing and clapping, that unmistakable smile stretching across his face, and his thoughts as clear as his expression: “That’s gravy!”

From a gritty student who had to take care of his family from an early age:

I vividly remember hanging onto her legs, horrified, as she hung from a third story window in an attempt to end her life. Her caustic lifestyle made her vicious, manipulative, and vindictive towards everybody in her life, pushing everybody that loved her away. She stole thousands of dollars from my mom via check fraud, which made my mother unable to afford the rent to our house, clothes, or even food. It became my responsibility, seeing as I had a paying job since I was thirteen, to step in and help make ends meet.

A student discussing his love for the beach:

Sitting against the backdrop of stars, I then noticed the boats gently drifting on the ocean, taking me back through the tides of time to my childhood. These boats reminded me of my own boating trips with my grandfather and my next door neighbor. During fishing trips we took every three weeks, my grandfather continually talked about customers and sales from his business, introducing me to the world of economics and finance.

Transitioning from an anecdote

It is important not to “drop” an anecdote into your essay without transitioning back to your main idea.

If you don’t use transition statements, your reader might be left confused as to why you used an anecdote and your college essay could seem disjointed.

Consider these sentence starters when transitioning from an anecdote back to the main body of your essay:

• This experience led me to understand/realize…
• This is just one example of how…
• [Summary of anecdote] was significant because…

When writing a college essay, remember that style is often as important as content . Including these transition statements will help you to get your intended message across.

What if I don’t have any stories to tell?

Many students struggle with including anecdotes in their writing because they think nothing interesting or tragic has ever happened to them.

While “shocking” anecdotes about life-changing events can be great examples to illustrate struggle, they are not the only effective anecdotes.

Hold a magnifying glass to your life and think about a time where you were challenged and, as a result, learned something.

Your life does not need to have been in danger and no monument needs to have been erected in your honor.

Think: What events in my life (no matter how big or small) have led to me growing as a human being?

These are stories worth telling.

Conclusion: The College Essay Anecdote

Don’t be afraid to use an anecdote in your college essay. In fact, we recommend it. Keep it brief and relevant.

College admissions officers want to learn about you and your values. Anecdotes help you extrapolate important or pertinent events from your life.

Best of luck!

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35 Anecdote Examples (Personal, Historical, etc.)

Chris Drew (PhD)

Dr. Chris Drew is the founder of the Helpful Professor. He holds a PhD in education and has published over 20 articles in scholarly journals. He is the former editor of the Journal of Learning Development in Higher Education. [Image Descriptor: Photo of Chris]

Learn about our Editorial Process

An anecdote is a short story that is used to demonstrate a point, entertain, or add value to a broader discussion.

They are typically based on real-life experiences, but can also be fictionalized for effect.

Humans tend to think and remember in stories, so anecdotes are often very useful in helping people to understand and relate to ideas. This is what makes them so valuable in storytelling and marketing.

However, anecdotes also have the effect of distorting truth and can lead to cherry-picking of data. Without careful consideration, people may come to believe anecdotal evidence over more reliable empirical evidence .

Anecdote Examples

1. personal anecdotes.

Key Purpose: Develop emotional or interpersonal connection

A personal anecdote is a short narrative about an incident or situation from a person’s own life. It typically offers a glimpse into the narrator’s experiences, feelings, or personality. These are useful for creating a sense of personal connection between the narrator and the listener or reader.

• “Last night, I accidentally locked myself out of the house and had to crawl through a small, dusty window to get back in.”
• “When I was seven, I mistakenly locked myself in the bathroom for hours, leading to a family-wide search. The incident taught me the importance of staying calm in unexpected situations and became a humorous family memory.”
• “During a solo trip to Japan, I attempted to order food in broken Japanese, only to receive a dish completely different from what I intended. This experience became a funny reminder of the challenges and joys of navigating language barriers while traveling.”
• “Once, while rescuing a kitten stuck in a tree, I found myself stranded on a branch, requiring a rescue of my own. This incident highlighted the irony of good intentions and left me with a slightly bruised ego and a new feline friend.”

2. Historical Anecdote

Key Purpose: Illuminate past events or people, providing context or perspective

A historical anecdote is a brief account of a notable or interesting incident or event from the past. It often sheds light on the personalities, customs, or values of the time, offering insights and reflections that can help in understanding history on a more personal level. These anecdotes can make historical events or figures more relatable and engaging for audiences.

• “When constructing London’s iconic Big Ben in the mid-19th Century, the first bell cracked during testing, leading to a delay of four years before a replacement bell was mounted and the clock started working.”
• “Benjamin Franklin, known for his experiments with electricity, once flew a kite during a thunderstorm, leading to the groundbreaking discovery of electrical charges in the atmosphere. This daring endeavor showcased his inventive spirit and curiosity, leaving a lasting impact on science.”
• “During the construction of the Great Wall of China, it is said that a grieving widow named Meng Jiangnu’s tears brought down a section of the wall to reveal the bones of her deceased husband, a conscripted laborer. This poignant tale reflects the human cost of the monumental project and has been a symbol of resistance and grief in Chinese folklore.”
• “When Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria was assassinated in 1914, it set off a chain of events leading to World War I. The anecdote of a wrong turn and stalled car leading the assassin to his target illustrates how seemingly small incidents can have far-reaching consequences in shaping world history.”

3. Humorous Anecdote

Key Purpose: Elicit laughter and entertain, creating a joyful and engaging atmosphere

A humorous anecdote is a short story or recount of an incident or situation designed to amuse and make people laugh. It often involves unexpected events, misunderstandings, or ironic situations, and is typically shared to lighten the mood and entertain listeners or readers. These anecdotes are effective in bringing joy and fostering a sense of camaraderie among people.

• “Once, a friend tried to bake a cake with salt instead of sugar, not realizing the containers were switched. The guests’ puzzled faces upon tasting the salty dessert turned into roaring laughter once the mix-up was revealed.”
• “During a camping trip, I mistook a skunk for a cat and attempted to pet it, only to be met with a rather pungent surprise. The incident left everyone in stitches and me in desperate need of a tomato juice bath.”
• “A man walked into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm and said, ‘A beer for me, and one for the road!’ The unexpected punchline had the whole room chuckling and lightened the atmosphere instantly.”

4. Inspirational Anecdote

Key Purpose: Motivate and uplift, fostering a sense of hope, resilience, and possibility

An inspirational anecdote is a short, impactful story recounting an individual’s experience of overcoming challenges, achieving the extraordinary, or demonstrating unwavering hope and positivity. These anecdotes serve to motivate, encourage, and instill a sense of possibility and resilience in the listener or reader, often sparking reflection and action.

• “Despite losing his leg to cancer at a young age, Terry Fox embarked on a cross-Canada run to raise awareness and funds for cancer research. His determination and selflessness inspired millions and left a lasting legacy of hope and perseverance.”
• “Malala Yousafzai, after surviving an assassination attempt by the Taliban for advocating for girls’ education, continued her activism and became the youngest Nobel Prize laureate. Her courage and dedication to education have inspired countless individuals to stand up for their rights and pursue their dreams.”
• “When a young boy fell into a gorilla enclosure at a zoo, instead of harming him, a female gorilla named Binti Jua cradled the boy and brought him to the zookeepers, showcasing an unexpected and touching display of compassion and protection. This incident inspired many and highlighted the capacity for empathy and care across species.”

5. Cautionary Anecdote

Key Purpose: Warn and advise, illustrating the potential consequences of certain actions or decisions

A cautionary anecdote is a brief narrative illustrating the negative outcomes or dangers associated with specific behaviors, choices, or situations. These anecdotes serve as warnings, encouraging listeners or readers to think critically about their actions and make informed decisions to avoid similar pitfalls.

• “A hiker once ignored trail warnings and ventured off the path, only to find himself lost and stranded overnight. His ordeal serves as a stark reminder of the importance of heeding advice and respecting nature’s unpredictability.”
• “A friend shared a story of leaving her car unlocked, only to return and find her belongings stolen. This incident underscores the necessity of being vigilant and mindful of personal security.”
• “An entrepreneur invested all his savings into a venture without conducting proper market research, leading to significant financial loss. His experience highlights the importance of thorough planning and risk assessment in business.”

6. Professional Anecdote

Key Purpose: Illuminate workplace experiences, offering insights into professional life and career development

A professional anecdote is a short story recounting an individual’s experiences, challenges, or accomplishments in the workplace or career field. These anecdotes provide insights into the dynamics of professional life, often offering valuable lessons, reflections, or advice for career development and interpersonal relations.

• “Early in her career, a colleague missed a crucial deadline, causing a ripple effect of delays in the project. She learned the importance of time management and communication, which significantly influenced her future work ethic.”
• “A young engineer innovatively solved a persistent problem on the production line, earning recognition and a promotion. His story inspires others to think outside the box and take initiative in their roles.”
• “During a networking event, I hesitantly approached a senior executive, sparking a conversation that led to a mentorship and later, a job offer. This experience underscores the value of stepping out of one’s comfort zone in professional settings.”

7. Travel Anecdote

Key Purpose: Share experiences of exploration, highlighting the joys, challenges, and learnings from visiting new places

A travel anecdote is a brief narrative about an individual’s experiences, encounters, or observations while exploring different places, cultures, or environments. These anecdotes capture the essence of travel, offering glimpses into the diversity of the world and the personal growth and enjoyment that can come from exploring it.

• “While navigating the bustling markets of Marrakech, I took a wrong turn and stumbled upon a hidden courtyard filled with local artisans. This serendipitous discovery became a highlight of my trip, showcasing the beauty of exploration and the unexpected treasures it can bring.”
• “On a backpacking trip through the Andes, I faced challenging terrains and unpredictable weather, but the breathtaking landscapes and the camaraderie of fellow travelers made every step worthwhile. The journey taught me resilience and the value of embracing the unknown.”
• “During a visit to Tokyo, I experienced the juxtaposition of ancient temples and cutting-edge technology, offering a fascinating glimpse into the harmonious coexistence of tradition and modernity. This trip left me with a deeper appreciation for cultural diversity and the richness of human innovation.”

8. Childhood Anecdote

Key Purpose: Evoke nostalgia and share insights from early years, illustrating growth and learning from youthful experiences

A childhood anecdote is a short narrative recounting a memorable incident or experience from the narrator’s younger years. These anecdotes often highlight lessons learned, the innocence of youth, or the development of character and values, fostering a sense of connection and reflection on the formative years.

• “As a child, I once climbed a tree to retrieve a kite and found myself stuck, leading to a neighborhood rescue mission. This adventure became a cherished memory of community support and youthful daring.”
• “I remember trading my favorite toy for a handful of marbles, only to regret it instantly. This early lesson in value and decision-making has stayed with me throughout life.”
• “During a school play, I forgot my lines but improvised, turning an embarrassing moment into a comedic highlight. This experience taught me the value of quick thinking and resilience.”

9. Cultural Anecdote

Key Purpose: Illuminate cultural practices, values, or norms, fostering understanding and appreciation of diversity

A cultural anecdote is a brief story that highlights aspects of a particular culture or society, often illustrating customs, traditions, values, or societal norms. These anecdotes offer insights into the diversity of human experiences and contribute to cross-cultural understanding and appreciation.

• “While attending a traditional tea ceremony in Kyoto, I learned the intricate rituals and the significance of mindfulness in Japanese culture. This experience deepened my appreciation for the richness of cultural traditions.”
• “During Diwali in India, I witnessed the joyous celebrations, the vibrant colors, and the communal spirit of the Festival of Lights. This cultural immersion offered a glimpse into the significance of family, community, and spirituality in Indian society.”
• “In a Maasai village in Kenya, I observed the traditional jumping dance, a symbol of strength and unity among the warriors. This cultural encounter highlighted the diversity of expressions of community and identity across the world.”

10. Educational Anecdote

Key Purpose: Illustrate learning experiences, offering insights into the educational process and personal growth

An educational anecdote is a short narrative about a learning experience or academic incident, often highlighting challenges, achievements, or insights gained in an educational setting. These anecdotes can illuminate the joys and struggles of learning and offer reflections on personal and intellectual development .

• “During a challenging calculus exam, I applied a concept learned in a different context, leading to an unexpected solution. This moment of insight underscored the interconnectedness of knowledge and the value of creative thinking.”
• “In a literature class, a heated debate on a novel’s interpretation taught me the importance of diverse perspectives and respectful discourse. This classroom experience became a cornerstone in my appreciation for the richness of literary analysis.”
• “Faced with a science project, I explored the effects of sunlight on plant growth, sparking a lifelong passion for botany. This educational endeavor marked the beginning of my journey into the world of plant science.”

11. Moral Anecdote

Key Purpose: Convey ethical lessons, illustrating the importance of values, integrity, and moral decision-making

A moral anecdote is a brief story that illustrates a moral or ethical lesson, often highlighting the consequences of certain actions and the importance of integrity, kindness, and values. These anecdotes serve to encourage reflection on ethical behavior and the impact of our choices on ourselves and others.

• “Caught stealing cookies from the jar, I faced my parents’ disappointment and learned the significance of honesty and trust. This early lesson in integrity has been a guiding principle in my life.”
• “When a classmate was being bullied, I chose to stand up for them, leading to a shift in the classroom dynamics. This incident highlighted the power of kindness and the importance of standing up for what is right.”
• “After finding a wallet on the street, I tracked down the owner to return it, experiencing the joy of a grateful stranger. This encounter reinforced the value of doing the right thing and the impact of small acts of kindness.”

Quiz: Understanding Anecdotes

1. What is the primary purpose of a personal anecdote?

a) To warn about potential dangers b) To develop an emotional or interpersonal connection c) To motivate and uplift the audience d) To share professional experiences

2. Which of the following anecdotes is intended to motivate and inspire the audience?

a) Cautionary Anecdote b) Inspirational Anecdote c) Humorous Anecdote d) Professional Anecdote

3. What is a common strength of using anecdotes?

a) They provide comprehensive and detailed information on a topic b) They make complex or unfamiliar ideas more relatable and understandable c) They offer statistical evidence to support a claim d) They are always factual and accurate

4. Which of the following is a limitation of anecdotes?

a) They can engage and entertain audiences b) They are often subjective and may not represent the experiences of others c) They can illustrate a point or observation effectively d) They foster connection and empathy

5. Which type of anecdote is primarily used to illustrate the importance of values, integrity, and moral decision-making?

a) Cultural Anecdote b) Moral Anecdote c) Educational Anecdote d) Childhood Anecdote

• b) To develop an emotional or interpersonal connection
• b) Inspirational Anecdote
• b) They make complex or unfamiliar ideas more relatable and understandable
• b) They are often subjective and may not represent the experiences of others
• b) Moral Anecdote

• Chris Drew (PhD) https://helpfulprofessor.com/author/chris-drew-phd-2/ 10 Reasons you’re Perpetually Single
• Chris Drew (PhD) https://helpfulprofessor.com/author/chris-drew-phd-2/ 20 Montessori Toddler Bedrooms (Design Inspiration)
• Chris Drew (PhD) https://helpfulprofessor.com/author/chris-drew-phd-2/ 21 Montessori Homeschool Setups
• Chris Drew (PhD) https://helpfulprofessor.com/author/chris-drew-phd-2/ 101 Hidden Talents Examples

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3 Must-haves for a Perfect College Essay Anecdote

by Winning Ivy Prep Team | Feb 10, 2023 | Common Application Essay Guide

Here’s the thing: Nowadays, as the college admissions process gets more competitive, the anecdote you pick is absolutely essential. It’s the only platform (apart from interviews) in the entire application process where you can speak directly to the admissions officer of your dream schoo.

The essay is the only opportunity where you can showcase your passions and unique voice that set you apart from the rest of the applicant pool.

So, you must take advantage of it!

Well, what makes a good anecdote? Actually, how do you even brainstorm a good anecdote? I’ll show you how.

3 Must-haves for the Perfect College Essay Anecdote

Your college essay must:

• Showcase growth
• Have a message & showcase your personality
• Be laser-focused and specific

1. Your College Essay Anecdote Must Showcase Growth

Writing Anecdotes: A Crash Course

by j9robinson | Aug 31, 2013

I  love anecdotes.

Especially for starting narrative essays for college application essays.

They can take a little practice to compose, but what a deceptively powerful writing tool.

Actually, if you start almost any type of writing with an anecdote–from a college essay to a book report to a press release–your message will instantly rise and shine above other written messages competing for readers’ attention.

They are engaging, accessible and they have a wow factor. Even though you don’t mean to be impressive, people often think you are so creative and accomplished when you wield them.

I just think readers are grateful for writing that includes little real-life stories. I know I always am. It’s simple: You want to read them. Who doesn’t want to know what happened next?

Crash Course in How to Write an Anecdote

Here’s a handy list of my posts on anecdotes. Read them all and you should be an expert in no time:

NEW! My Video Tutorial on  How to Write an Anecdote: Part One

How to Write an Anecdote.  This post lists the basics of writing an anecdote–from starting at the peak of the action to using sensory details and dialouge.

How to Turn a Real-Life Moment into an Anecdote. Learn how to take something that happened to you and tell it like a story using literary writing techniques.

Find Your “Problems” for Great Anecdotes. Learn how to include something “that happened” in your essays as anecdotes to make them exciting and engaging.

Essay Rocket Fuel: The Anecdote: This post gives an example of an anecdote and how to find the topic for an anecdote to use as an introduction for a narrative essay.

How to Write Grabber Intros using Anecdotes. Hook your reader at the start by engaging them with a mini-story, aka anecdote.

The BIG Difference Between a Story and an Anecdote:   This post explains why a story and an anecdote are not the same thing, and how to use an anecdote to “show” a point instead of just “tell” about it.

How to Find and Tell Anecdotes:  This post teaches you how to find a good anecdote to illustrate the main point of your essay.

Become a Storyteller in Less than Five Minutes.  I love this post, if I don’t say so myself. It shows you with simple little line drawing how an anecdote fits into a narrative essay.

Grab Your Readers with an Anecdote:  This post walks you through taking a little incident or moment and time and spinning it into a short anecdote. Includes a sample anecdote.

Components of an Anecdote: A good anecdote usually includes scene setting, so the reader can immediately start to visualize where something is happening. And something is happening–like a problem or action.

It also will include details that help the reader step into the moment–hearing, seeing, smelling and feeling what was going on.

The best anecdotes help readers experience the moment or incident by including bits of dialogue so they can get into the writer’s head and feel their pain, joy or other thoughts and emotion.

HOT TIP: To start an anecdote for your narrative essay, begin by letting the reader know WHERE you were (just enough so they get the idea), and then put yourself in the scene.

Then go from there. Example: Sitting at the bus stop , I stepped off the curb…or: Just before midnight, we gathered in a large circle in front of the fire …or: Driving with my friends along the Coast Highway, we stopped at a gas station …While scraping the burnt onions off the grill, I could tell my shift at the White Castle was almost over…

Want to write a killer college application essay? Start with an anecdote. You will leave the majority of other essay writers in your college application dust!

RELATED: My Video Tutorial on  How to Write an Anecdote: Part One

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so in order for it to be an anectdote it has to prove a point or have some type of lesson?

Hi Anye, Wow, what an excellent question. Technically, an anecdote is when you convey a moment in time and it reads like something out of fiction, or a novel. They are highly condensed and take only a paragraph or two at the most. I encourage students to try starting their personal essays for college applications with an anecdote as a writing device to engage (hook) the reader at the start. They work well because everyone loves a little story, as opposed to a gimmicky or too general opening line. Usually, an anecdote (or the moment or incident) will serve as an example of a larger point you want to make in your essay. It does not need to make a point or be a lesson in itself. For example, if you want to write your essay about how you are very creative, you could start your essay sharing a “time” or incident or moment where you did something creative. In that way, your anecdote serves as an example or “proof” of how you are creative. Instead of just telling about how creative you are, you start with a real-life example (an anecdote) of being creative. Does that make sense? I also encourage students to look for some type of “problem” in the time or moment or incident, which will make their anecdote more interesting. Then when you go on to write what you did about that problem (involving the time or moment you shared), you can often share what you learned from dealing with it. And out of that comes any type of “lesson.” I know it can get confusing. Here’s a post that will take you through the steps of finding a time for an anecdote, and crafting your essay from there: http://www.essayhell.com/2016/02/write-college-application-essay-3-easy-steps/ Good luck! Let me know if you are still confused. JR

My daughter needs some tips on how to write anecdote,she need for thecompetation.thanks

How long should an anecdote be? How long is too long and how short is too short?

Hi Anthony, GREAT question! In general, if you start your essay with an anecdote, I would shoot for one paragraph or a couple shorter ones. The idea is that you recreate a single moment, and start as close to the most exciting part as possible. (Usually that “moment” only covers a couple minutes) Then you shift into explaining the background or context of that single moment/incident/event in the following paragraph, and work from there. It’s helps to read sample narrative style essays and try to identify if they used an “anecdote” at the start, and if so, see how long it was. One problem many students make who try to start their essays with a mini-story (anecdote), is that they take too long and use up too much of the essay sharing that moment. The trick is to highly condense it so we can get a picture of what happened in as few words as possible. They take practice! But are worth it! Good luck, and thanks for asking such an important question. Janine Robinson

how do we transition out of it

Hi Tara, great question! Read this post, I think it will help you see how to use these in your essay. How to Write Essay in 3 Steps: https://www.essayhell.com/2016/02/write-college-application-essay-3-easy-steps/

Let me know if you have more questions. Good luck! Janine

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Home » Writers-House Blog » Tips on Writing a Strong College Essay: How to Use Anecdotes

Tips on Writing a Strong College Essay: How to Use Anecdotes

Sometimes, writers find themselves staring at a blank page without understanding where they should start or what to write about. These are the moments of frustration that can make any writer feel bad about his or her writing abilities. However, there is a simple solution: you can start with an anecdote. An anecdote is a short and engaging story that can help you illustrate your point. The most important thing about anecdotes is that they are true stories from your life. Given that college admissions committees want to learn more about you as a person, such stories are a great choice if you want to establish a connection with your audience. They make your writing sincere and authentic. To write a good anecdote, check out these tips from writers-house.com.

Anecdote vs. Statement

When writing college essays, you may often use short, non-descriptive statements. For example, you may mention that you have a younger brother when writing about your family. Unless your essay is about this brother, there’s no need to provide more details, and such a short statement can be a great solution. However, if you want to share some experiences with the admissions committee, an anecdote will be a better choice.

When using brief statements, you can mention some events and explain their significance. For instance, you may write that, after you failed a test, you’ve become a better student because you’ve realized that you need to study more. However, such a story isn’t detailed enough and your audience will not understand how exactly that test changed the way you study.

To make your story more engaging, you can use an anecdote, telling the admissions officers how you’ve started to take notes, recorded lectures to listen to them at home, and joined a study group. You may note that after that, your grades improved. This anecdote will not only describe your experience but also provide specific examples so that your readers can relate to your story.

What Makes a Good Anecdote

First of all, don’t use anecdotes just to increase word count. Make sure that your story is meaningful and actually contributes to the topic of your paper. Good anecdotes are relevant, brief, and descriptive.

We recommend that you use short anecdotes when writing college essays because you don’t want your readers to feel distracted and eventually lose their interest. Make your anecdotes short but make sure to address your prompt properly. If you don’t know how to make your story shorter, we suggest that you don’t tell it from beginning to end. Just select the most important bits and provide some general context so that your readers can understand what you’re talking about. Use descriptive details to paint a vivid picture in your readers’ minds. Your goal is to evoke the right emotions, so describe sounds, smells, colors, etc. Don’t forget that your story should be not only interesting or funny but also relevant, supporting the point you’re going to make. Your anecdote shouldn’t distract the audience from the topic.

Where to Include Anecdotes

Usually, students include anecdotes either at the beginning or at the end of their college essays. An anecdote is a great solution for a hook. For example, some writers use so-called “cold hooks” that grab readers’ attention and pull them right into the essay. If you want to use an anecdote as a hook, you must make sure that it’s both relevant to the prompt and to the content of your essay.

You can also use anecdotes to illustrate your point. For example, if your prompt requires you to write about problem-solving, you can tell a story that will serve as a specific example of a problem solved by you in the past. This way, anecdotes can serve as evidence that supports your claims.

Transitioning

Don’t include an anecdote in your essay without making a proper transition to your main idea. Transitional sentences will help you put different sections of your essay together. In a transitional sentence, you may provide a quick summary of an anecdote, explaining why it was significant in the context of your topic. You may also point out a more general topic, where the anecdote is just one of many examples. Another approach is to explain why this experience was valuable to you.

Don’t forget that the content of your essay isn’t the only important thing. You should also pay attention to your style. Proper transitions can help you improve the overall style and flow of your essay.

What if I Don’t Have Any Good Stories?

Many students find anecdotes challenging to write because they cannot remember any outstanding stories that happened to them. On the one hand, extraordinary stories are great because they are very interesting and engaging. On the other hand, an effective anecdote shouldn’t necessarily focus on something outstanding. We recommend that you consider events that were important for you, taking into account their significance for your life, regardless of whether these experiences are absolutely unique or not. Your main goal is to reflect on these stories and explain how they’ve changed your life.

Although using anecdotes in writing requires you to be creative, we recommend that you don’t be afraid to include anecdotes in your essays. They can help your readers get to know you as a person, providing information about your background, values, and character. Therefore, using an anecdote when writing a college admission essay is certainly a good idea.

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Anecdote Essay

Anecdote essay generator.

Anecdotal essays are common among colleges. It is useful when you want to have a bond between you and the readers. Through anecdotes, the audience will be able to engage themselves in your work. The question is “how are you going to create good anecdotal essays?”. Always remember that like any other essays , anecdotal essays also follow a specific format. In this article, you will be able to know details about the nature and structure of an anecdotal essay.

3+ Anecdote Essay Examples

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4. Anecdote Essay Template

What is an Anecdote?

An anecdote is a short account of a specific person or a real occurrence. They make conversations that are considered to be personal. They are placed for the purpose of making the readers entertained.

An example of an anecdote would be: “When I was a kid, I used to have a dog who happens to be my best friend. I couldn’t imagine my life without him.”

How to Use Anecdotes in Essays?

•       To have a very good message in your story , use your past experience as anecdotes.
•       Venture out into the real world.
•       Start a new story when you are being placed with another inspiration.
•       If you have diaries, you may use it to connect together and make a good storyline.
•       Let your stories speak for themselves.

Here are some examples of anecdotal essays that you may want to read:

“Kendall Hill describes how he was a “nerd” at school: he wishes it was easier to be “different”. He states, “if only it were easier to be different in this country. Back then our education system – and, by extension, most teachers and students – rejected anything unconventional”. Refer “Habitual cruelty: maybe the bullies get screwed up the most”, The Age, 19/6/11).

When the TV series of Alex Haley’s slave epic Roots was first broadcast in Australia a few decades ago, my high school tormenters had a brilliant idea. We could play Roots at school the next day.

“You can be Kunta Kinte!” my nemesis hooted, his eyes flashing evil mischief. “And the rest of you can go home and make willow whips.”

Electric excitement rippled through the group. Me? I thought I might cry.

The episode sums up the hell of high school for me – falling into a poisonous group that terrorised other students but, mostly, terrorised me. Soccer matches where I became the ball, kicked around until I was coated in mud like a choc-dipped loser. Threats hissed through clenched teeth to force two unwilling combatants, one of them always me, to brawl at lunchtime for the school’s entertainment. Every student on every bus chanting insults at me at home time.

And they say school days are the best of the your life.”

Linda Duberley recounts her despair at the fact that her son, Connor, was ruining his life owing to his gaming addition. (See “My son was a cyber addict – hooked on fantasy and sci-fi games” in The Age .) “For three years, Connor played truant, failed exams and shut himself away from people to create a new personality in his electronic universe.”

Duberley recounts: “To me, the problem seemed to be school; Connor was truanting. He was tired and stressed. So, I cut back my work as a media consultant to be around more at home. But he found new ways to sneak home from school, only now he had to be even more surreptitious to avoid me. Then, at a parents’ evenings, two of his teachers were clearly surprised to see me – they thought that he had left the school. That Christmas, his father took Connor’s younger brother and sister away so he and I could be alone together and talk. I was optimistic. But shortly after that, on just the second day of the new term, I found Connor hiding in the bathroom, having sneaked back into the house. In fact, he turned up at home several times that week, once having gone missing for so long that I called the police. That time, I eventually found him hidden, wrapped up in a duvet inside a cupboard.” 

Writing anecdotes and real-life examples. (2014). English Works.

How do we formulate ideas when creating an anecdote essay.

You may start by using your own experiences to tell a story and then gather your ideas and start producing to make it a wholesome anecdote essay.

How long should an anecdotal essay be?

Anecdotal essays are like any other essays that contain two or more paragraphs.

When do we use anecdotes?

You may use anecdotes when you give personal perspectives or make people feel something like extreme happiness or sadness depending on the story.

The use of anecdotes makes your story more valuable. They can be used anywhere especially in telling a story about a specific person or an experience.

Text prompt

• Instructive
• Professional

Write an anecdote essay about a time you overcame a challenge.

Describe in an anecdote essay a moment that changed your perspective on life.

College Essay Examples: 10 Best Examples of College Essays and Why They Worked

Collegeadvisor’s 10 best examples of college essays and why they worked.

The college essay is one of the most important parts of the college admissions process—and it’s also one of the hardest to complete. If you’re struggling to find the right college essay topics, you’re not alone. In this guide, we’ll break down some of the best college essays to help you write a personal statement for college that will stand out . 

You’ve likely written many essays over the course of your high school career. However, your personal statement for college may be the first time you’ve been asked to write about yourself . That’s where our sample college essays can help. 

The best college essays will reflect who you are, what matters to you, and why you’ll enrich any college community you join. That’s a tall order, but looking at examples of college essays can help you as you begin the writing process. But before we dive into our sample college essays, let’s start with some basics. 

What is a college essay?

A college essay is a piece of writing that responds to a given prompt, either on the Common App lication , Coalition Application , or on a school’s individual application. College essays can range anywhere from 50 to 800 words. There are two main types of college essays: personal statements and supplemental essays. In general, you will write one personal statement and submit it to every school you apply to. By contrast, you’ll submit a different set of supplemental essays to each school. 

Why do college essays matter in the admissions process?

Your college essays reflect parts of your identity that aren’t clear from the rest of your application. While two students might have similar grades and extracurriculars, they won’t have the same college essays. That means that your college essays can make you stand out from the crowd. Our sample college essays can help you do just that. 

In this guide, we’ll walk you through sample college essays that address a wide variety of college essay topics. We’ll break down examples of college essays from every category so that you feel prepared to write your own. Each sample college essay we’ve included in our college essay examples shows how you can use strong, intentional writing to approach a variety of college essay topics. By looking at these college essay examples, we hope you learn a lot about how to approach essay-writing. 

Each school approaches college essay prompts differently. Each school may provide both required and optional college essay prompts. Most selective colleges will require you to write some kind of personal statement. Many also have school-specific supplemental college essay prompts and short answer questions. Below, sample college essays that worked show how students like you approached these prompts and impressed top schools. 

For more tips about how to approach college essay topics and the writing process, check out our Essay Guides FAQ .

In this college essay examples guide, we’ll look at some examples of college essays and talk about why they succeeded. Our analysis will explain why these are a few of the best college essays that worked.

This includes a variety of essay types such as:

• Short essay examples
• Common App essay examples
• Examples of personal essays
• Supplemental essay examples (including why this college essay examples and why this major essay examples), and more.

Soon, we’ll dive into our college essays examples and break down some examples of personal essays. But first, let’s talk about what makes a good college essay and how you can make sure your college essays stand out . As you’ll see from our examples of college essays, there is no one right way to approach college essay prompts or one specific formula for writing the best college essays. However, as  you’ll learn from these sample college essays, there are still plenty of useful tips that can make your essays shine. 

Good college essays and the college admissions process

As you start reviewing college essay prompts and looking at examples of college essays, you might find yourself wondering, “What are the common characteristics of good college essays?” 

Each of our college application essay examples, from our Common App essay examples to our short essay examples, offer key insights into an applicant’s character. These sample college essays did a great job of answering their respective college essay prompts. As such, they each stood out to admissions teams as strong college application essay examples.

Later in this guide to college essay examples, we’ll break down the best college essays in detail. But first, let’s look at a few sample college essays to help you get an idea of what to think about as you learn how to write good college essays. These college essay examples provide valuable insight into how you can craft one of the best college essays admissions teams have ever seen.

Below is an excerpt from one of our successful personal essay examples:

One hundred and fifty bagels, all completely frozen. I couldn’t believe it. My school’s Model UN Conference was to start in thirty minutes, and breakfast for the delegates was nowhere near ready. I looked with dismay at my friends’ concerned faces peering out from behind piles of frozen bagels. As Secretary-General, it was my job to ensure that this conference went smoothly. However, it seemed that was not going to be the case. I took a moment to weigh my options before instructing Rachael, our “logistics coordinator,” to heat up the frozen circles of doom in the home-ec room. I knew Rachael enjoyed baking, so I trusted her to find a way into the locked room and thaw the assortment of bagels.

Below is an excerpt from one of our successful why NYU essay examples:

The Bachelor of Science in Business Program excites me, as it entails a well rounded yet intensive study in core business disciplines. However, what draws me to Stern is the emphasis on gaining a global perspective, which is crucial in today’s rapidly changing world economy. Through the International Business Exchange Program, I will be able to gain a first-hand cultural experience that will mold me into a global citizen and business leader. Not only will I be taking courses in the most prestigious business schools across the globe, but I will also have new doors opened for me to network with alumni.

As you can see, examples of college essays can look very different . What matters is that they are detailed, specific, and show the admissions team at any school why the writer would enrich campus life—all while answering the college essay prompts. When we look at more examples of college essays, we’ll discuss why these essays—and other college essay examples—worked so well.

We’ll break down:

• How they addressed their college essay prompts
• What kind of structure they followed
• What their unique strengths are
• Tips and tricks to use while writing your own college essays

As you start looking at examples of college essays, you may wonder how important they are to your application. The answer is: extremely.

Many top colleges and universities use a holistic process when reviewing applications. That means they evaluate your essays alongside your academic history, extracurriculars, and test scores to learn who you are, what has made you the person you are today, and what you might bring to a college campus. 

As you will see from our Harvard essay examples and Stanford essay examples, the best college essays give applicants a chance to teach a school about the writer. Good college essays give schools a more complete idea of the person they will be inviting to join their student body—and they are the only chance a school has to learn who you are in your own words. 

Providing details and telling your story

As you’ll see from our college essay examples, good college essays discuss important details that might not be clear from the rest of your application. Each of our Common App essay examples tells a specific story. Other college essay prompts, like the Stanford roommate essay, for instance, ask applicants to reflect on parts of their identity beyond their grades and test scores. 

Many colleges have also tried to demystify the college application process and provide helpful resources. Some schools, like Johns Hopkins and Hamilton , even provide their own examples of college essays that worked, including Common App essay examples. This can give you a sense of what their admissions team looks for.

You’ll encounter many different college essay topics. Each of these will ask you to write about your experiences in a slightly different way. So, looking at different college essay samples (like a why this college essay example or a why this major essay example) can help you approach different college essay topics. Also, since the Common App essay is a crucial part of your application, you’ll benefit from reading our Common App essay examples. 

Later in this guide, we’ll provide full sample college essays for you. This will include both Common App essay examples and short essay examples. 

Keep reading to learn more about the different types of college essay topics. Then, we’ll talk about the examples of college essays you’ll find later in our college essay examples guide.

Types of college essay prompts you’ll encounter

All college essay prompts will require your best writing and ideas. Understanding the differences between the types of college essay samples can help you learn how to approach your college essay prompts. 

Our examples of college essays fall into two main categories:

• Personal Essay Examples (Common App essay examples/Coalition App essay examples/Personal essay examples)
• Supplemental Essay Examples (short essay examples)

Our different types of college essay examples will show how you might approach different topics and what your final essays may look like. For example, when comparing Common App essay examples and supplemental short essay examples, one significant difference between the two is the word count. When looking at short essay examples, you’ll notice that the details you find in Common App essay examples don’t fit within the short 150 word or 250 word limit. As you’ll see in our short essay examples, short-form supplemental essays require you to make the most out of a limited number of words. 

Exploring a variety of college essay samples will help prepare you to write your own. If you haven’t narrowed down your school selection yet, you might not know what kinds of supplemental essays you will write or what examples of college essays you should read. In this case, start with our personal essay examples—that is, our Common App essay examples.

The Personal Statement

The most common type of essay you’ll encounter is a personal statement for college. For most applications, you’ll choose from a selection of prompts and write a longer essay (500 – 800 words) that speaks to your experiences, identity, and goals. Your personal statement for college tends to be the longest essay in your application. This means it may require more work to edit into a focused and compelling story. For inspiration, take a look at our Common App essay examples. Each of our Common App essay examples tells a story that the admissions team otherwise wouldn’t know. 

You will apply to colleges using the Common Application, the Coalition Application, or a school-specific portal. Each of these application portals will have their own unique prompts and specific word counts. However, all of our examples of personal essays serve a similar purpose and require a similar writing process. 

Beyond your personal statement for college, many schools ask you to write school-specific supplemental essays. Our college application essay examples will cover a range of supplemental essay prompts, including why you are interested in a particular school or a particular major. 

Some schools also offer a section where you can provide additional information that may have affected your grades or overall profile. This might include details about your home life or any special circumstances that created challenges for you.

In this college essay examples guide, we’ll look at Common App essay examples to help you craft your personal statement.

The school-specific college essays that worked, we will review below include:

• Harvard essay examples
• Stanford essay examples
• UPenn supplemental essays
• Dartmouth essay examples
• Why NYU essay examples
• Why UChicago essay examples

This collection of college essays that worked will include short essay examples, including a why this college essay example and a why this major essay example. Before we break down these sample college essays, let’s look at what exactly makes the best college essays the best.

What makes the best college essays?

When looking at college essays that worked, whether personal essay examples or short essay examples, it may be challenging to discern exactly what makes a great sample college essay great.  In our college essay examples guide, our examples of college essays (in addition to being correctly formatted ) have succeeded across a few criteria.

The criteria to keep in mind while you are considering how to write a successful essay are:

• Personality

You can apply these criteria to all of our college application essay examples, including our Common App essay examples, examples of personal essays, and short essay examples. A strong sample college essay, no matter the length, will use these three elements to create a compelling story that will show a school how you would enrich their campus. 

In our examples of college essays, you’ll see that good college essays follow a thoughtfully composed structure. Since college essay prompts often have strict word limits, it is important to follow these examples of college essays and make sure your college essay flows. Strong personal essay examples usually tell a story that leaves the reader with a lasting impression.

Like our example college essays, your college essay should have a clear beginning, middle, and end. As you’ll see in our college essay examples, particularly our examples of personal essays, there isn’t one right way to structure your essay. Your structure could be chronological, funnel down from broad to specific, or start with a particular memory or experience and then expand out towards a greater perspective. No matter how you structure your essay, make sure your narrative remains clear.

Not all essays have to look the same

As you will see from our examples of college essays, your college essay can look any number of ways. The best college essays can take many forms — what’s important is that your college essay shows the admissions team who you are . Even as you look at college application essay examples inspired by a singular prompt, you’ll find the topics they cover to be very different. However, one thing our college essay examples have in common is that they all showcase who the writer is while still answering the essay prompt.

As you read our examples of college essays and start writing your own, try to emphasize your own identity. Think about what is important to you, experiences that made you grow or changed you, times where you were challenged, or an a-ha moment that solidified a piece of who you are. Then, once you’ve found a topic to write about, make sure it connects back to the original prompt. Even if you tell a fantastic story, if it doesn’t answer the question in the prompt, you’ll have missed the goal of the essay. If you’re still having trouble coming up with an essay topic, try this reflection exercise to help you brainstorm.

Standing out

We’ve chosen these college essay samples because they stood out in the admissions process. Besides being well-crafted, what makes a sample college essay stand out is personality. In this college essay examples guide, we’ve included a range of Common App essay examples and short essay examples that embody different voices, tones, and styles.

As you read through our examples of college essays, you may get stuck on trying to pick a topic that is 100% unique or obviously impressive. Instead of worrying about what makes you unique from other applicants, focus on being honest and being true to yourself. Remember, no one is exactly like you. So, follow the blueprint our sample college essays provide, but stay true to who you are. 

For example, if humor is a key part of your personality, let that side of you shine through in your essays! However, if you read a hilarious college essay example but don’t naturally use humor yourself, don’t try to replicate someone else’s voice. The best college essay examples reflect students who knew who they were, what they wanted to say, and how they wanted to say it.

Our sample college essays show why it’s important to take care as you craft your personal statement and supplemental essays. But what exactly made these examples of college essays work, and how can you replicate these sample college essays in your own admissions process? 

How to use these college essay examples

Wondering how to use these essays to write your own college admission essay examples about yourself? 

We’ve given some background on why we’ve included certain college application essay examples. We’ve also discussed what you can learn from the different types of college essay samples. Now, you might ask yourself, “How should I use these college application essay examples to start writing my own?”

Each college essay example addresses a unique prompt within a specific word count. So, our Common App essay examples may be more helpful to reference when writing your personal statement. Our short essay examples, by contrast, may be more helpful as you tackle your supplemental essays.

Think of these college essay examples, including Harvard essay examples and Stanford essay examples, as a resource. We know the college admissions process can be overwhelming . That’s why we are committed to providing you with resources and essay tips to help you navigate your college applications.

These college essays that worked should inspire you. As you read over these college essay samples, use these examples of college essays as a guide, not a blueprint. Your college essay should be original and entirely your own work. However, by looking at these sample college essays, you’ll get an idea of what to highlight as you tell your authentic story .

Coming up: college admission essay examples about yourself

So far, we’ve taken a peek at some examples of college essays. We hope these college essay samples will help you jumpstart your writing process. Now, you know a little bit about what goes into selecting a college essay example and why these college essay samples work. It’s time to take a deep dive into writing college admission essay examples about yourself.

Next, we’ll dig into some examples of college essays and think about how to write college admission essay examples about yourself. First, we’ll look at some Common App essay examples to help you write your personal statement. As you read through our examples of personal essays, we will break down why these Common App essay examples work and how you can craft your own effective personal statement.

Common App Essay Examples–How to approach your personal statement for college

Are you furiously googling “college admission essay examples about yourself”? You’re not alone. Writing good responses to college essay topics is one of the most difficult parts of the application process. With so many college essay prompts and college essay samples out there, it’s hard to know where to start. That’s why we’ve provided the following examples of personal essays based on a variety of college essay topics. 

This section will focus on Common App essay examples—that is, college admission essay examples about yourself. We’ll unpack two examples of college essays that worked and analyze what made them effective. The Common App essay will be a crucial part of your application to nearly every school on your list. Reviewing other college application essay examples is a great way to improve your own writing. 

Each of these examples of college essays comes from our advisor network. Moreover, every sample college essay helped its writer get into a top school. So, they are all good examples of personal essays to use as you start your writing process. 

Getting started with examples of college essays

Writing a personal statement for college isn’t easy. It’s natural to look for college admission essay examples about yourself to help. However, if you want to be competitive at top schools, you need to make sure that your Common App essay—like these Common App essay examples—is the best it can be. Many examples of college essays struggle to leave a lasting impression on readers. Also, many students struggle to choose the right college essay topics. These Common App essay examples will teach you how to do just that. 

Let’s dig into some personal essay examples—or college admission essay examples about yourself. Each of these college essay samples relates to one of the Common App essay prompts. These examples of personal essays each tell stories about the writers that aren’t clear from the rest of their application; that’s why our college essay examples were successful at top schools. 

Our guide will walk you through these examples of college essays and show you how to write one of the best college essays you can. Later on, we break down why these sample college essays were successful and show you how you can replicate that success in your own personal statement for college. 

Common App Essay–Example 1: Elinor

The first of our Common App essay examples comes from a student named Elinor. In the first of our personal essay examples, she highlights her involvement in a club in an innovative and exciting way. Her tone, structure, and style each help her essay stand out from other examples of college essays. 

Below is the full text for the first of our examples of college essays. Later, we’ll discuss what makes this sample college essay one of the best college essay samples to look at.

Elinor’s Common App Essay:

One hundred and fifty bagels, all completely frozen. I couldn’t believe it. My school’s Model UN Conference was to start in thirty minutes, and breakfast for the delegates was nowhere near ready. I looked with dismay at my friends’ concerned faces peering out from behind piles of frozen bagels. As Secretary-General, it was my job to ensure that this conference went smoothly. However, it seemed that was not going to be the case. I took a moment to weigh my options before instructing Rachael, our “logistics coordinator,” to heat up the frozen circles of doom in the home-ec room. I knew Rachael enjoyed baking, so I trusted her to find a way into the locked room and thaw the assortment of bagels.  Cold bagels were not the only thing weighing heavily on my mind that morning. As I walked from classroom to classroom helping set up committees, I couldn’t help but feel nervous. Our conference wasn’t going to be like those of the private schools- there were no engraved pens or stylish water bottles. Instead, people got post-it notes and whatever pens we could steal from the supply closet. Forcing myself to stop worrying, I chose instead to think of why we made that choice. Since most of the food was donated, and all of the supplies had been “borrowed” from the supply closet, we could afford to charge only a nominal fee to everyone attending. Making Model UN accessible was one of my top priorities as Secretary-General; the same desire motivated me to begin including middle school students in the club. I hurried back down to the cafeteria, and was relieved to see that all the bagels looked warm and ready to eat.  The bagels would not be the sole crisis that day. As debates were about to start, one of the Chairs sent me a panic stricken text: “We only have 5 people in our committee! We can’t reenact the creation of the Treaty of Versailles!” I hurried to where his debate was taking place, and sure enough, only five people were there. I quickly considered my options- cancel the committee?  Convince some delegates to switch into this debate through bagel bribery? Or maybe, come up with a completely new topic?  I settled on idea number three. But what topic could a committee of only five people spend a day discussing? I mulled it over until an idea began to form. I explained to the room, “Each one of you will represent one of the five major Democratic and Republican presidential candidates. The chair will guide you as you tweet, make campaign videos, and debate the most important political issues.” I spent a few minutes figuring out how to go about moderating such an unconventional committee, before heading off to check in on the other debates.  As I walked from committee to committee, fixing problems and helping move debates along, I felt a sense of pride. I had spent months working on this conference, along with the other members of my team. At times, I worried I could never pull it off. A part of me had wished our faculty advisor would just organize the whole thing for us. After all, I’m just a high schooler, how could I put together such a big event? But as the day went by, I realized that with the help of my peers, I had done it. All the little crises that cropped up weren’t because I was doing a bad job; they were inevitable. The fact that I could find solutions to such a wide variety of problems was a testament to my leadership skills, and my level-headedness. I didn’t just feel like a leader—I felt like an adult. As I look towards my future in college and later the workforce, I know that I can succeed, even if my obstacles seem as insurmountable as a mountain of frozen bagels.

Reflecting on this sample college essay

The first of our college essay examples certainly deserves its spot among the best college essays. This sample college essay works in large part because of its opening. The first sentence of Elinor’s Common App essay makes the reader want to continue—what happened to the bagels? How will Elinor solve this problem? Examples of college essays with strong introductions draw the reader in. In addition, an inspiring first sentence sets the tone for the rest of the essay. The frozen bagels in this college essay example create tension that draws the reader in. 

Often, good examples of college essays also read like short stories in which the writer is the main character. While Elinor does mention other people in her Common App essay, she remains focused on her own actions and emotional state. In the third paragraph, she describes in detail how she responded to a crisis. She first explains her thought process, then she tells us what action she took to address the crisis. 

As you comb through various college admission essay examples about yourself, you should keep your own identity in mind. Strong examples of personal essays should contain personal details about the writer. College essay topics are designed to get to know you on a personal level. Strong examples of college essays use every chance to showcase the writer’s positive qualities.

Tell YOUR story

The best Common App essay examples tell a story about the author. These college essay examples are no exception. Often, strong sample college essays use a story to show who a student is. Elinor uses the story of her model UN conference to show her leadership , maturity, and problem-solving skills. Like any good story, Elinor’s personal statement for college contains obstacles for her to overcome and challenges to face. By presenting these examples and discussing her responses, Elinor’s Common App essay shows that she is ready for the challenges ahead. 

The best college essays show information rather than just telling it. It’s one thing to tell readers you are a proactive leader in college admission essay examples about yourself; it’s another to show it through your actions. In the second paragraph of her personal statement for college, Elinor states that she wanted to make model UN accessible as Secretary General. She then goes into detail about how she accomplished that goal by organizing food donations and only charging a small fee for attending the conference. In these Common App essay examples, the writers use details and evidence to showcase their best qualities.  

Elinor’s sample college essay also contains a strong conclusion. She illustrates what she has learned about herself from this experience and in doing so, helps the admissions team learn more about her. In this college essay example, Elinor clearly shows the kind of student she would be and how she would enrich campus life. The best college application essay examples show readers why students should be admitted through evidence and storytelling. Our Common App essay examples each accomplish that goal.

Common App Essay–Example 2: Arham

The second of our Common App essay examples uses a different strategy to the first. However, it is still one of the top examples of personal essays. The next author of our college essay examples, Arham, starts with a very specific moment from his fifth grade class. He then explains how that moment has affected his life. 

While some examples of personal essays are about a recent event, other personal essay examples show the author’s development over a longer period of time. To understand why this is among the best college application essay examples, let’s look at the essay itself and how it employs techniques often found in the best college essay examples.

Arham’s Common App Essay:

An hour into President Obama’s inauguration, I stifled a yawn and raised my hand. “Ms. Edgell, who did you vote for?” Instantly, nineteen fifth-graders shattered the silence: “Of course she voted Republican!” “No, she’s a Democrat!” “Obama was born in Kenya!” “Don’t ask people about their politics,” she chided.  “So . . . you’re a Republican!”  “Arham. Outside.” As Ms. Edgell fruitlessly tried to explain that politics didn’t belong in the classroom, I struggled to suppress a smile–I couldn’t help it. For a few moments, fifth grade’s single-variable algebra and spelling tests had been replaced by a more intriguing conversation: one without a definitive answer. Snippets of boisterous debate continued to drift through the closed door, and I was eager to rejoin the conversation–that day, I learned disagreements were fascinating. Eager to understand the “why” of each and every belief, I turned to my living room: a constant cacophony of political commentary, occasionally punctuated by my father’s frustrated jabs at the pause button and exasperated interjections. In my quest to decipher the cryptic nightly news, my parents became my personal dictionary, fielding a nightly barrage of questions. Forget just explaining where babies come from–over the next four years, I asked them to articulate almost every conceivable stance on gun control, abortion, and the death penalty. Through that television screen, I first encountered the full diversity of human opinions, and I was enthralled; I wanted to triumph in every dispute. Dodging my parents’ dinnertime queries of how my day went, I delved into new lines of questioning: the viability of Medicare for All, the feasibility of 100% green energy, the merits of chicken tikka masala mac & cheese fusion. After watching the 2016 Presidential Debate, I spent hours pondering the economic consequences of a more cohesive border–sadly, the living room walls didn’t offer much feedback on my ideas. Soon, I realized that some of my “solutions” were a bit near-sighted; eliminating poverty by printing money wasn’t exactly the modern-day Wealth of Nations, and the solution to global warming was a tad more nuanced than planting trees. I learned that I wouldn’t always be right–instead, the desire to win was slowly replaced by a yearning to understand. With every discussion, I synthesized new information, pinpointed gaps in my knowledge, and reevaluated my views; then, aided by the latest edition of The Economist and a plethora of Google searches, I’d unearth the next set of questions.  Late nights in my living room have defined a lifelong passion: using disagreements as a lens to explore, understand, and influence the world. In Congressman DeSaulnier’s office—where interns were instructed to hang up on adversarial callers—I instead found myself engrossed in half-hour conversations with frustrated constituents. There, I delved beneath the partisan rhetoric to truly understand why people support a wall, desire nationalized healthcare, or champion coal–and, in return, I offered a bit of my own worldview. On elevators, I’ve been known to strike conversation on the whimsical (Should gyms offer a package where you pay for every day you don’t go?); overseas, I invite teams from Germany, Singapore, and Mexico to opine on whether or not Amazon should be considered a monopoly. Whether it’s discussing capitalism or everyday life, the resulting conversations shed light on our culture, upbringing, and aspirations–the willingness to disagree is what builds rapport. In recognition of that, I beckon for dialogue; I constantly invite the world to teach me more. In fifth grade, I learned that we fear disagreement–feigning unity will always be more comfortable. But, through ignoring each other’s most fundamental beliefs, we simultaneously abandon our ability to understand our peers. In my living room, disagreements provided a venue for questioning and navigating a world of conflicting perspectives: though I didn’t know it at the time, they set the stage for a lifetime of questioning. So, be it in the classroom, through a phone call, or on stage, I continue to raise my hand.”

Why is this a college essay that works

As we saw in the first of our college essay examples, one reason this sample college essay is effective is that it engages the reader from the very first sentence. The author uses the technique of in medias res , which is often found in strong personal essay examples. Instead of beginning the essay with exposition, the author begins with a quote that places the reader in the middle of a riveting conversation. This strategy makes the best Common App essay examples interesting to read and helps the best college essays stand out from the rest.

Another feature that characterizes the best college essay examples is varied and interesting word choice. This doesn’t mean you need to use words in your writing that you wouldn’t ordinarily use. In our examples of college essays, the writers don’t just throw around SAT words. Instead, these successful examples of college essays use carefully chosen words to elevate the quality of the writing and heighten emotional tension. The phrase “shattered the silence” from the second paragraph is a perfect example of how a vivid word can instantly improve a sentence. In addition, the phrase “constant cacophony of political commentary” shows how employing poetic devices—in this case, alliteration—can make college essay examples more fun to read. 

So, what makes the second of our college essay examples shine? This personal statement for college works because it presents a compelling story about a young boy slowly learning how to express his opinions and refining his beliefs. Many of the best examples of college essays show a process of growth or transformation. These transformations require struggle, and good college essays embrace that struggle and present it openly to readers. 

The value of authenticity

This brings us to another key feature of our college essay examples: authenticity. Some students have the misconception that the best college essays should only portray your good qualities. However, this is not the case. Instead, the most successful personal essay examples address their authors’ shortcomings and explain how they have worked to overcome them.

Honesty and authenticity permeate these college essay samples. Arham’s example college essay reveals his genuine passion for debate. He provides several examples, both personal and academic, that demonstrate his interest in that topic. Importantly, successful Common App essay examples include details not present in other areas of your application. This gives readers a more personal look into your values. These examples of college essays reveal the quirks and obsessions that round out the author’s personality and set him apart from his peers.

Both of these successful examples of college essays contain strong conclusions that look ahead to the future. These personal essay examples provide insight into how the writers will contribute to a college community. Arham uses the phrase “lifetime of questioning” to show that he will bring his curiosity and thirst for knowledge to whatever college he attends. Good college application essay examples show readers why they should accept you and what you will bring to their campus.

Although these examples of college essays are different from each other, they were both successful for a variety of reasons. Now let’s look at how to replicate these examples of college essays in your own writing!

Personal Essay Examples–How to get started writing your own college essays that work

Do you feel ready to sit down and write your own personal statement for college? Let’s break down some tips to help you use our sample college essays to write your own. Be aware that every writer has their own personal style. So, try to find ways to make these tips work for your own college admission essay examples about yourself! 

So, what can we learn from these college application essay examples? Reflecting on these two Common App essay examples, there are several steps you can take in your own writing process to craft a college essay that works for top schools. 

In addition to reviewing other examples of college essays, we recommend that you do some prewriting exercises to help you write the best college essays you can. First, take a moment to review your candidate profile. Then, decide on what 3-5 adjectives you would use to describe yourself. After you’ve reviewed our college essay examples, click here for a list of strong adjectives you might use. 

Consider the word count

This exercise helps focus your essay on the most important themes. Because college essay topics are so broad, students want to cover as much ground as possible. However, the best Common App essay examples recognize the limits set by the word count. With this in mind, these examples of college essays use specific details to illustrate broad concepts. You may have a lot to share, but the best college essays highlight qualities not found elsewhere in your application. Reflect on our personal essay examples as you write. Instead of rehashing your extracurricular achievements, follow the lead of our Common App essay examples. Tell a story the admissions team hasn’t heard. 

After you have your five adjectives, look over the Common Application’s college essay prompts. Then, choose one that lets you showcase the qualities you selected earlier. When writing college admission essay examples about yourself, it’s better to tell a single story in vivid detail than to write a broad survey of all your accomplishments. The first of our Common App essay examples focused on a single day of Elinor’s high school career. She then uses this anecdote to make a larger claim about her ability to solve problems. The second of the college essay samples starts with the story of a single fifth grade class before broadening out to other topics. As you choose your college essay topics, keep specificity in mind.

Expect to write multiple drafts

The best college essays take multiple drafts. So, make sure you allow yourself enough time to write your personal statement for college. The college application essay examples in this guide weren’t written in a day. Rather, these college essay examples each went through several drafts to become good college essays. So, take a cue from our examples of personal essays. After you write the first draft of your Common App essay, review it after a day or two. This will help you approach it with a fresh perspective. Having others review your writing can also help transform good college essays into the best college essays.  

There is no single formula for writing good college essays. However, you can learn to develop your own voice by reading articles and reviewing sample college essays written by other students. As we’ve stated, examples of personal essays can help you find your own voice and narrative as you start the writing process. This article from U.S. News contains more college essay examples along with short essay examples of supplemental prompts. It also provides advice from admissions counselors about how to write college application essay examples that stand out from other examples of personal essays. Top colleges like Tufts , Johns Hopkins , and Connecticut College often post examples of college essays that worked for their schools. Reading Harvard essay examples along with other college essay samples from top schools gives you a sense of what it takes to get into top schools.

Showing vs. telling

With the above Common App essay examples, we’ve presented two college essays that worked. Both of these college application essay examples show—rather than tell—the reader important details about the applicant’s identity. These college essay examples show what kinds of students these writers would be on campus. Based on these sample college essays, top schools could imagine these students in their communities. That’s why these examples of college essays stand out. 

Beyond the Common App Essay

These Common App essay examples are not the only personal essay examples we will look at in this guide. Next, we’ll discuss supplemental college essay examples—short essay examples that usually range between one hundred and four hundred words. 

These college essay prompts are unique to the schools that assign them. However, looking at many different short essay examples will help you prepare for the variety of college essay prompts you may encounter. Let’s take a look at these examples of college essays!

Short essay examples: What types of college essay topics will you see?

Now that you have some useful Common App essay examples to use as you write your personal statement for college, let’s look at some other examples of college essays. As we mentioned, there are several types of college essays . 

The short essay examples we’ll discuss effectively and efficiently answer the prompt. Keep in mind that you will often work within the constraints of a word limit. Reading examples of college essays will help you learn this writing style. Still, remember that the best college essays will reflect your own voice. Once again, use our examples of college essays as a guide—don’t try to be someone you’re not. 

In this section, we’ll focus on four main types of supplemental college essay samples. These include why this college essay examples, why this major essay examples, other less typical supplemental essay examples, and “additional information” essay examples. As we look at these examples of college essays, we’ll focus on what made these some of the best college essays out there. We’ll talk about what makes each of these college essay examples unique—and how you can use them as you craft your own college essays.

Our college essay examples shouldn’t hold you back. Don’t feel limited to the same or similar college essay topics that you read in our college essay examples. Reading some short essay samples or Common App essay samples may help you brainstorm, but the stories you tell should be uniquely yours. When reading college application essay examples, keep in mind that authenticity will impress colleges the most. 

‘Why this college’ essay

First, let’s break down some why this college essay examples. As you’ll see from our examples of successful essays, your why this college essay should discuss in detail what attracts you to that particular school. 

Many colleges will require you to write an essay about why you want to attend that particular school. Good college essays that answer these prompts will reflect a given school’s mission, opportunities, and personality. When you read successful why NYU essay examples, why Stanford essay examples, or why UPenn supplemental essays, you’ll notice that the writer isn’t afraid to be specific. 

Questions to consider

What classes will you take? Is there a professor whose work inspires you? What clubs will you join? The best examples of college essays are detailed and convincing . When reading short essay examples, notice how many details the writers include. Then, think about how you can include details with the same specificity—but ones that are applicable to your life, plans, and interests. 

Most schools will have their own supplemental essays. This is one area where Common App essay examples and supplemental college essay examples will differ. Our Common App essay samples were submitted to all colleges, while these short essay examples were submitted to individual colleges. 

As our example why this college essays show, it’s important to research the schools on your list before you complete any college essay prompts. Why this college essays that work establish three things—a personal anecdote, details about the college’s offerings, and the connection between a writer’s personal story and the college. Essentially, the best college essays help the reader visualize how a student will succeed at that school. 

A ‘Why Dartmouth’ essay that worked

Why this college essay examples are a useful tool as you prepare your application for any top school. When reading this Dartmouth essay, pay attention to the clearly articulated and cohesive details. The best college essay examples will be easy to read and convey lots of information in a limited number of words. 

I always had a keen interest in numbers, probability, and finance. Early on, I could quickly calculate sales tax, analyze probabilities, and visualize complex mathematical models. After taking AP classes in economics and statistics, I became intrigued with mathematical representations for economic markets and statistical models. This sparked my desire to pursue an actuarial career to utilize my talents in quantitative reasoning. The Major in Mathematical Data Science will provide me the skills to apply abstract mathematical and statistical theories to the concrete world. I will also have the opportunity to stimulate my academic intrigue through an intensive research project. 

Good college essays do more than discuss why the applicant wants to study their major. They also go beyond why that school would be a good fit for their interests. College essays that worked also show why the applicant would make that school a better place.  

As this Dartmouth essay shows , the best college essays illustrate a track record of involvement to support the applicant’s proposed path forward. In this Dartmouth essay, the applicant plans to become an actuary. Given this student’s background, this feels like an attainable and sincere goal.

Something else to note about this Dartmouth essay is that the writer doesn’t use big fancy words or elaborate sentence structure. Good college essays are well-planned, written intentionally, and free from errors. However, they still sound like high schoolers wrote them! Like our examples of college essays, your short essays should feel natural and authentic. 

‘Why UChicago’ essay examples

Why UChicago essay examples provide useful insight into what UChicago —and other top schools —look for when evaluating applicants. These Why UChicago essay examples also have qualities that you can think about when looking at Stanford essay examples, why NYU essay examples, or others!

Ex. 1: ‘Why UChicago’ essay example

When I visited UChicago, a friend invited me to step into her Comparative Literature class: Monstrosity and the Monstrous. Desperate for refuge from the cold (as a Bay Area resident, I hadn’t packed for the Chicago winter), I quickly obliged. I expected to silently observe, but when I mentioned that I’d read Antigone, her professor was thrilled–he immediately invited me into the discussion. For an hour and a half, we weighed the pros and cons of civil disobedience: did Antigone’s actions permanently destabilize Thebes, and in the modern day, when does protesting against a government cross the line? Was Antigone justified in interpreting the will of the gods? And, if so, would Sophocles support pardoning well-intentioned criminals? Beyond the enthralling analysis of the play, I was captivated by the spirit of UChicago: a campus that invites everyone (including a loitering high school student) to contribute and develop their ideas.

In this first section of our UChicago short essay examples, notice that the writer shows a knowledge of campus based on their campus visit and research. Though UChicago does not track demonstrated interest , the best college essay examples include references to visits, school-specific events, and specific details about the school’s offer. This establishes a connection between the reader and the writer. Strong college essay samples will show genuine interest. 

When reading examples of college essays, you should also think about the tone. In the first excerpt of these college application essay examples, the tone is passionate and enthusiastic. The tone of this sample college essay conveys excitement, and the reader can almost see the applicant walking around campus. Let’s read more UChicago essay examples: 

Ex. 2: ‘Why UChicago’ essay example

Now, it’s surreal to imagine taking “The Economics of Crime” from someone as renowned as Professor Levitt (I’ve been a fan since reading Freakonomics) and staying after class to clarify the finer points of the latest Freakonomics podcast (I particularly enjoyed “Speak Softly and Carry Big Data,” on using data analysis to perfect foreign policy decisions). I hope to add to UChicago’s legacy of pushing the boundaries of our economic understanding by participating in undergraduate research, and perhaps put my findings to use through crafting social policy for the Harris School’s Public Policy Practicum. Prior to graduating, I’ll sample tastes of future careers through the Fried Public Policy and Service Program or the Trott Business Program. Simultaneously, as someone who enjoys conversing and respectfully challenging ideas, I look forward to immersing myself in the Core Curriculum and obtaining a strong foundation of knowledge. Above all, I appreciate that UChicago teaches students how to think, encourages dialogue, and prompts students to question norms. 

Showcase your various interests

In this sample college essay excerpt, the author reveals a strong passion for learning. In this and many other why this college essay samples, the writer doesn’t focus solely on one academic area. Instead, the best college essays reveal qualities and traits of someone who is eager to explore a variety of interests. 

Another strength of this sample college essay excerpt is that it sticks to the facts. The best college essays limit overly emotional appeals, avoid cliché phrases, and don’t make vague statements about the future. You’ll see many examples of college essays that acknowledge a degree of uncertainty about what the author will study—and that’s okay! As our examples of college essays show, you don’t need to have everything figured out. 

Note too, that both excerpts of UChicago college application essay examples are part of a much longer essay. The UChicago supplement is closer in length to Common App essay examples. Though the college essay topics are different for UChicago, you can learn from reading Common App essay examples, too!

For more examples of college essays from UChicago, check out this article!

‘Why this college’ essays—Additional tips

There are a few more tips to learn from reading these examples of college essays. First, notice that you have a lot of freedom to choose your college essay topics. All that matters is that you discuss why you want to go to that particular college. Perhaps you are attracted to a niche academic program, or maybe you want to combine two of your interests and engage with an institute on campus. 

Also, choose your college essay topics and words carefully. Effective college essay samples avoid “spending” words complimenting colleges, telling them information they already know, or regurgitating marketing materials. Strong examples of college essays don’t focus on rankings, acceptance rates, or prestige. Writing about the beautiful buildings, the weather, or the student body size will seldom effectively answer college essay prompts. 

Dig deep and make connections

The most effective college essay examples mention major-specific electives or particular clubs. Most importantly, they’ll explain why these programs matter to the writer. You will notice that college application essay examples often describe how college will be an extension of existing passions, interests, and activities. 

In these why this college essay examples, the writers each point to specific reasons why they would like to attend their respective schools. These why this college essays are detailed and specific. Both of these sample essays showcase what their writers would bring to a college campus and how they would benefit from attending their respective schools.

As you start writing, think about our college admission essay examples about yourself. Stay true to your identity, be specific, and tell a story—then, you have a great chance of writing the best college essays you can. 

‘Why this major’ essay examples

Next, let’s discuss some why this major college essay prompts. A why this major essay tells the admissions team what inspires you about your chosen field. By reading our why this major essay examples, you can understand how to discuss your academic interests in an engaging way that tells the admissions team more about your identity and passions. Let’s read some sample college essays. 

Ex.1: UPenn ‘Why this major’ essay

The University of Pennsylvania, with its strong emphasis on pre-professional learning is ideal as a learning environment. That focus is what drives many students with an eye to the future — we hope to apply our learning, impact the real world in ways that inspire change.  I find the Cognitive Science program, specifically its concentration in Language and Mind most appealing. As someone who places great emphasis in words, the idea of analyzing the cognitive aspects behind linguistics, whether philosophically, psychologically, or computationally draws upon various fields that showcase various perspectives on the meanings of language. It’s fascinating that despite the various languages and cultures there can be a biological scientific breakdown explaining the complex processes underlying syntax and semantics. 

Ex. 2: Brown University ‘Why this major’ essay

As someone who places great emphasis in words, the idea of analyzing the cognitive aspects behind linguistics, whether philosophically, psychologically, or computationally fits my ideal of using interdisciplinary methods to study human behavior holistically. I am also concerned with quantitative methods. For example, AP Psychology allowed me to talk about the ethics and methodology. I had read about the Asch conformity tests. But when my teacher set up the experiment with three classmates as subjects and the rest of us as confederates, two subjects did not conform; our ratio of nonconformity was lower than Asch had found. Could it be a trait of the magnet population and experience? Should I remain pre-med, a strong background in neuroscience will support my study of anatomy and help me become a better physician. Directly linking biology and behavior,  Cognitive Neuroscience will contribute to my holistic view of my patients.

Express your passion and curiosity

Each of these why this major essay examples gives the reader a sense of the writer’s intellectual passions. These why this major essay examples are clearly written, specific, and personal. When reading these examples of college essays, notice how detailed they are. For example, “I find the Cognitive Science program, specifically its concentration in Language and Mind most appealing.” Good college essays dig underneath the surface. Winning essays will identify how and why a student connects with their identified major or program.

Note too, that the author of the Brown sample college essay build a clear connection between their past experiences in high school (“For example, AP Psychology allowed me to talk about the ethics and methodology”) and future goals in college (“Should I remain pre-med, a strong background in neuroscience will support my study of anatomy and help me become a better physician. Directly linking biology and behavior, Cognitive Neuroscience will contribute to my holistic view of my patients.”)

Content comes first

As you can see in these examples of college essays, it’s crucial to focus on the content of the essay. So, when you write, complete all college essay prompts with specific details about why you want to attend that college. This will improve your overall application narrative. And, don’t forget to make that narrative cohesive. Strong college application essay examples tie extracurriculars, background , and identity together with future plans. 

Whether you’re writing UPenn supplemental essays or Brown supplemental essays, try to write about interdisciplinary interests if possible. You’re likely interested in more than one area, and many schools offer majors, minors, and certifications with unique combinations. Many short essay examples will go beyond the surface to discuss how the applicant’s seemingly disparate interests mesh. 

These college admission essay examples about yourself might raise some questions. Inevitably, some of you reading college essay samples are asking, “what if I don’t know what major I want to study?” Of course, college essays that worked can come from students who are certain of their future career. However, they can also come from students who change their major multiple times. 

So, don’t panic if you haven’t chosen a major. Instead, look at how you spend your time. What excites you now? College essay prompts give you the flexibility to expand on your reasoning.

Unconventional college essay topics

Some supplemental essay prompts aren’t as straightforward as the why this major or why this college essay examples. For instance, Stanford has some unconventional college essay prompts that help the admissions team learn more about each student. Stanford asks students to write letters to their future roommate. So, let’s look at some Stanford roommate essay examples.

Stanford roommate essay 

Stanford roommate essay examples—like any college essay examples—can be helpful as you craft your application for Stanford or any other top school. Unlike some examples of college essays, the question these Stanford roommate essay examples answer is a bit more personal. College essay prompts like these give you the chance to show off what makes you unique. The best college essays for these types of prompts will show off your unique character.

When tasked with writing an unconventional essay like the Stanford roommate essay, it’s helpful to look at a few examples of college essays. These will help give you a feel for college essays that worked. Let’s read two sample college essays.

Ex.1: Stanford Roommate Essay

In the spirit of inaugurating the life-long relationship I hope we’ll build this year, let me tell you a little about myself. Hi, I’m Allison. I’m the second child of a comically over-optimistic refugee mother (my Vietnamese name translates, literally, to “celestial being”) and a proud Kentuckian with a deep passion for student-driven advocacy. I have two parents, two stepparents, a nineteen-year-old sister (a junior in Product Design, here, at Stanford), a three-year-old half-sister, two cats, one dog, and a complicated life that spans two households. So, I’m used to sharing space and managing shifting schedules. I’ve also always been the “Mom” friend. To me, the little things—a chocolate chip cookie when I know a friend has a rough day ahead, words of encouragement before a big presentation, or staying up late to explain a tough physics problem—mean the most. I’ll be there when you need me—be it studying for tests or navigating personal challenges. I recycle incessantly and am known to snatch cans out of the trash, wash them, and relocate them to neighboring blue bins. I keep a regular sleep schedule, rarely going to bed past midnight or waking up later than 8:30. I’m averse to gyms, opting instead to go for runs in the morning or follow along to a YouTube workout in the afternoon.  I’m passionate, but also even-keeled. I think life is best taken in stride—worrying has never gotten me anywhere, but flexibility has taken me everywhere. I look forward to an awesome year!

Ex.2: Stanford Roommate Essay

Hey Roomie! Yesterday was insane. I still can’t quite get over the energy in that stadium after that final play. I guess Berkeley couldn’t take back the axe to cut down these Trees! I’m writing you this since I have an 8:30 Syntax and Morphology with Dr. Gribanov. I know, it’s early, but that class is honestly worth waking up for. Last Friday, he spent the entire period rambling about why regardless and irregardless are the same thing, but responsible and irresponsible aren’t. Just a fun little thought to start your day. I’m also writing you this as a quick apology. I won’t be back from Mock Trial until late evening, and then I’ll be practicing for Stanford Symphony auditions. So, if you hear cacophonous noises in your sleep, it’s most likely me. Plus, it’s Mahler Symphony No. 1, so you might not sleep much anyway. Kidding. These next few days are jam-packed, but I’m craving some much-needed bonding time! I have a proposal: how does a jam session this Friday at Terman Fountain sound? I’ll bring the guitar and plenty of oldies sheet music, you just gotta bring a snack and the desire to sing! I’ve sold a few people already. Join us? Well, I’m headed to breakfast now. Text me if you want me to grab you anything.

Casual tone and style

These examples of college essays have a more casual tone and style. This works because it fits the prompt for the Stanford roommate essay. Writing a formal styled response in this case would be inappropriate. Instead, in these college application essay examples, both authors discuss their quirks, interests, habits, and personalities . Try to replicate this in your own Stanford roommate essay. Reading a variety of examples of college essays can help you brainstorm your own, but your ideas should still be original!

You and your freshman roommate will come to know each other well, so respond to this prompt with openness and honesty. While they aren’t as prevalent in Common App essay examples or supplemental college essay examples, jokes and humor are more common in these letters. 

Examples of college essays that are a letter to your freshman roommate are less formal. However, they should still be specific and vivid. Include details and stories to show the reader who you are. The strongest college application essay examples for Stanford will illustrate your identity through vivid stories and specifics details. 

Your letter to your Stanford roommate is a great opportunity to show the admissions committee another aspect of who you are. Take advantage of it!

The “Additional Information” essay

Finally, let’s turn to one last set of examples of college essays. One of the college essay prompts you’ll encounter is the “additional information” section of the Common App. This also appears as an optional supplement for some schools. Not all students should write this college essay. However, if you have something important to share about your background or experiences, the “additional information” section can be helpful. 

Let’s look at some college essay examples for this prompt. Keep in mind when reading college essay examples for this prompt that the content will differ from applicant to applicant. So, use this space in whatever way feels natural to you. 

Ex. 1: Harvard University Additional Information essay

I would like the Harvard Admissions Committee to know that my life circumstances are far from typical. I was born at twenty-four weeks gestation, which eighteen years ago was on the cusp of viability. Even if I was born today, under those same circumstances, my prospects for leading a normal life would be grim. Eighteen years ago, those odds were worse, and I was given a less than 5% chance of survival without suffering major cognitive and physical deficits.  The first six months of my life were spent in a large neonatal ICU in Canada. I spent most of that time in an incubator, kept breathing by a ventilator. When I was finally discharged home, it was with a feeding tube and oxygen, and it would be several more months before I was able to survive without the extra tubes connected to me. At the age of two, I was still unable to walk. I engaged in every conventional and non-conventional therapy available to me, including physical and speech therapy, massage therapy, gymnastics, and several nutritional plans, to try to remedy this. Slowly, I began to make progress in what would be a long and arduous journey towards recovery. 

This short essay example shares critical information about the writer. In doing so, this sample college essay excerpt helps the reader learn more about how medical circumstances have shaped the student’s perspective. It is factual—and so are many “additional information” short essay examples you will read. 

The best examples of college essays covering additional information are concrete. They often detail special circumstances, background information, or ways your life has been impacted. If you don’t have important information to write about, then don’t feel like you have to write something. Many students leave this section blank!

Focus on impact

You’ll notice that examples of college essays for the additional information prompt could also include details about your extracurriculars . You might use this area to detail additional extracurriculars and awards that would not fit in that section. These short essay examples typically take the form of a list rather than an essay. These short essay samples should focus on impact; don’t include unimpressive extracurriculars just to put something in the box. Examples of college essays come in all shapes and sizes.

You don’t need to include any additional information on the Common App if you have nothing more to share. However, as you can see from our college essay examples, this section can be useful in some cases. So, use our sample college essays to help you determine whether you should include any additional information in your own applications.

Final Thoughts—Examples of College Essays & College Essays That Worked

In this guide to college essay examples, we’ve walked you through several different kinds of college essays prompts. We’ve also provided details on why these sample college essays impressed admissions officers at top schools. Reading and analyzing college essay examples can be an excellent part of the brainstorming process. 

Colleges admit you based on your potential. So, when reading college essay samples, note the key qualities that the writer reveals. Each of the college essay samples is original and authentic. This should be one of your primary goals when writing your own college essays. 

As you write your college essays, keep these college essay examples in mind. Think about how these short essay examples show impact and character. Then, use your voice to tell your unique story. Good luck!

This guide to college essay examples was written by Caroline Marapese, Notre Dame ‘22,  Alex Baggott-Rowe , Davidson ’16, and Stefanie Tedards. At CollegeAdvisor, we have built our  reputation  by providing comprehensive information that offers real assistance to students. If you want to get help with your college applications from Alex or other  CollegeAdvisor.com  Admissions Experts ,  click here to schedule a free meeting with one of our Admissions Specialists. During your meeting, our team will discuss your profile and help you find targeted ways to increase your admissions odds at top schools. We’ll also answer any questions and discuss how CollegeAdvisor.com can support you in the college application process.

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How To Write An Essay

Hook Examples

200+ Creative Hook Examples: Ready, Set, Hook

27 min read

Published on: Mar 22, 2023

Last updated on: Jul 23, 2024

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As a student, you know how important it is to grab your reader’s attention right away. 

Stories without strong starts can leave readers feeling uninspired and bored—and that's not what we want! After all, compelling stories require creative hooks to seal the deal. 

That's why we're here!

To avoid a bland start, it's important to craft a clever and memorable hook. With the use of effective hooks, you can leave a lasting impression on even the most discerning of readers.

Join us now as we jump into different types of hooks, from intriguing questions to vivid imagery – let's get started!

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Question Hook Examples

If you're stuck in the creative hook-writing process, a question hook can be your go-to. 

Questions hook readers and make them think about what’s being asked. You can also use a fact statistic too.

They also immediately draw attention to the topic at hand and make readers more likely to continue reading. 

 Let's look at some examples : 

• "What if I told you that a single dream could change your life?" 
• "Who can inhabit a place where the past and the present intersect?" 
• "How would you respond if you had to choose between love and ambition?" 
• "Where does one draw the line between passion and obsession?" 
• "Can humanity survive in a world of conflicting values?" 
• "What if our dreams became reality?" - John Steinbeck 
• "How do you explain something that cannot be explained?" 
• "Is it possible to find true love in an imperfect world?"
• "Do we control our destiny, or does fate have a hand in it?" 
• "How much can power corrupts us before we become monsters?"

Statistic Hook Examples

Numbers don't lie, and sometimes they can be the most powerful way to make a point. 

Here are some examples of statistic hooks that can grab your readers' attention:

• "Did you know that over 50% of adults in the United States are single?"
• "According to recent studies, over 70% of high school students report feeling overwhelmed and stressed on a daily basis."
• "In the United States, the average household debt is over $90,000."
• "Over 80% of Americans believe that climate change is a serious problem, but what are we doing to address it?"
• "According to recent polls, only 20% of Americans trust the government to do what is right always or most of the time."
• "In the last decade, the use of social media has skyrocketed, with over 3 billion users worldwide."
• "Studies show that women still earn only 82 cents for every dollar earned by men in the United States."
• "Over 40% of food produced in the United States is wasted each year, while millions of people go hungry."
• "Recent research has found that over 90% of plastic waste in the ocean comes from just 10 rivers in Asia and Africa."
• "Despite advances in medical technology, the United States has one of the highest rates of maternal mortality in the developed world, with over 700 deaths per year."

Metaphor / Simile Hook Examples

Metaphors and similes can be powerful tools for engaging your reader and making your writing more vivid. 

Here are ten examples to inspire your own metaphorical hooks.

• "Like a beacon in the night, [topic] shines a light on our deepest hopes and fears."
• "Metaphorically speaking, [topic] is a Pandora's box of complex emotions and ideas that challenge us to confront our own biases and assumptions."
• "Just as a ship navigates treacherous waters, [topic] requires a steady hand and a clear sense of direction to navigate successfully."
• "In many ways, [topic] is a mirror that reflects the beauty and complexity of the human experience."
• "Like a puzzle with countless pieces, [topic] invites us to piece together disparate elements to uncover deeper truths and insights."
• "Metaphorically speaking, [topic] is a garden that requires careful tending and nurturing to flourish."
• "Just as a painter uses color and light to create a masterpiece, [topic] allows us to paint a vivid portrait of the world around us."
• "In many ways, [topic] is a labyrinth that challenges us to explore its winding paths and discover hidden treasures along the way."
• "Like a key that unlocks a door, [topic] gives us access to new worlds of knowledge and understanding."
• "Metaphorically speaking, [topic] is a journey that takes us on a winding path through the highs and lows of the human experience."

Anecdote Hook Examples

If you want to hook your readers from the start with a narrative that's more fun and lighthearted, an anecdote hook is a way to go.  

Let's look at some examples: 

• "It all started when I decided to take a walk in the woods one summer day..." 
• "The night began as any other night out with my friends - until the police showed up..."
• "The day I found out my grandmother had cancer was one of the saddest days of my life" 
• "It was a sunny Sunday afternoon when I decided to take a chance and go for a drive on an unfamiliar road" 
• "I never expected that one day I'd be standing in the World Cup final..."
• "It was summertime, and all my friends were out at the beach while I was stuck inside baking cookies" 
• "I remember the day I finally decided to take a leap of faith and start my own business" 
• "My first day at university was filled with anxiety and excitement" 
• "That's when I realized I wanted to be a teacher - when I saw the look on my student's faces after they finally understood something"
• "My first time walking into a yoga class was nerve-wracking, but it ended up being one of the best decisions of my life" 

Quote Hook Examples

If you want to hook your readers right away with a strong introduction, using a quote hook can be an effective strategy.  

Let's look at some examples of a quote from a famous person. 

• "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars" - Oscar Wilde 
• "To infinity and beyond!" - Buzz Lightyear 
• "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take" - Wayne Gretzky 
• "If you can dream it, you can do it" - Walt Disney 
• "It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities" - J.K. Rowling 
• "You can't calm the storm, so stop trying. What you can do is calm yourself" - Tim Berners-Lee 
•  "The only way to do great work is to love what you do" - Steve Jobs 
• "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step" - Lao Tzu 
• "Life is what you make it" - Anonymous 
• "The best way to predict the future is to create it" - Abraham Lincoln 

Story Hook Examples

If your main goal is to fully captivate and engage readers in an unforgettable story, then a well-crafted story hook is the way to go.

• "It all started on a cold January night with a phone call that changed my life..." 
• "The moment I saw my best friend in that hospital bed, I knew everything would never be the same again..." 
• "I had been dreaming of this day for years - the day I'd finally get to explore the world outside of my small town..." 
• "The sun was just setting as we drove through the old neighborhood, remembering all the good times we had growing up..." 
• "I opened my front door to find a man standing in the hallway with a strange package - and that's how it all began..." 
• "The morning of my eighteenth birthday, I woke up feeling strangely different - like an adventure was about to begin..." 
• "I remember the day I decided to face my fears and take a leap of faith - that's when everything changed..." 
• "The night I saw the shooting stars were like nothing I had ever experienced before, and I knew it would stay with me forever..." 
• "It took one coincidence for me to realize that life was about to take me on a wild ride..." 
• "I had never felt so brave in my life when I decided to take a stand and fight for what I believed in..." 

Hook Examples For Essay

If you desire to seize your reader's attention and keep them enthralled in your essay, a persuasive hook is essential.

Check out these hooks for essays examples: 

• "The world we live in today has changed drastically since the introduction of technology" 
• "Every generation has had its own unique set of challenges - and the current generation is no exception" 
• "We can learn a lot from history and the mistakes that have been made in the past" 
• "Society often puts a label on things without really understanding them or giving them a chance" 
• "The power of technology can be both a blessing and a curse" 
• "Education is the key to success - and it's important for everyone to have access to it" 
• "What would life be like without our modern-day conveniences?" 
• "We all have our own unique perspectives, but sometimes we forget to look at the bigger picture" 
• "Not everything is as it seems - sometimes we have to dig deeper to understand the truth" 
• "Life is a journey, not a destination - and every step of the way holds valuable lessons to be learned"

Narrative Hook Examples

Narrative hook examples are a great way to engage your reader in your story. Here are some examples of hooks for a narrative essay :

• "It was a dark and stormy night, and I heard something outside my window..." 
• "I had been waiting for this moment my whole life, and finally it was here..." 
• "I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I opened that door..." 
• "The air around me suddenly changed, and a chill ran down my spine as I realized how alone I was..." 
• "It had been years since we'd seen each other, and now I was standing face to face with my old enemy..." 
• "I followed the faint light until I stumbled upon a mysterious room with an unknown secret inside..." 
• "It began as a normal day, but by nightfall, it was like nothing I'd ever experienced before..." 
• "The cold wind was howling as I made my way across the deserted desert, searching for something greater..." 
• "As I stepped through the ruins of the long-abandoned castle, I could feel an eerie presence watching me..." 
• "The clock struck midnight and suddenly everything changed - it felt like a new world had been born..." 

Argumentative Essay Hook Examples

Argumentative hook examples can be a great tool to draw readers in and engage them with an argumentative essay . 

Let's look at some hook examples for argumentative essay: 

• "The world we live in today is drastically different from what it used to be - and much of this change has been caused by technology"
• "Every generation has its own set of challenges, and the current generation is no exception" 
• "We should always be willing to learn from history and the mistakes that have been made in the past" 
• "Society often judges things without really understanding them or giving them a chance" 
• "The power of technology can be both a blessing and a curse - we must find the balance" 
• "Education is essential to success, but not everyone has access to it" 
• "We all have our own unique perspectives, but we must consider the greater good" 
• "Sometimes things are not as they seem - it's important to look at all sides of an issue" 
• "Life is full of lessons - and it's impossible to learn them all in one lifetime" 

College Essay Hook Examples

Crafting an effective hook for a college essay is essential to grab your reader's attention and draw them into the story. 

College hook examples can serve as invaluable guides when creating this crucial element of any composition.

Check out some examples: 

• "The journey of life has taken me down many paths, but never in my wildest dreams did I imagine it would lead me here" 
• "My story is not a traditional one, but it's uniquely mine and I'm ready to make my mark" 
• "When I think back to the decisions that have shaped my life, this one stands out as the most important" 
• "I had no idea how much I could learn from taking a leap of faith and going outside my comfort zone" 
• "From the age of four, I knew that I wanted to be a doctor - and here I am on the brink of making it happen" 
• "I wasn't always the most successful student, but I never gave up and now I'm ready to prove what I can do" 
• "A person's future isn't predetermined - I'm determined to make mine a success" 
• "Education is power, and I'm ready to take hold of my own destiny" 
• "It's not about where you come from, but what you can achieve with hard work and dedication"  
• "Life is unpredictable, but I'm ready to face any challenge that comes my way" 

Hook Examples For Speech

Speech hook examples provide a great way to hook your audience into your speech . 

Here are some examples: 

• "We've all heard the phrase 'knowledge is power', but what does that really mean?" 
• "What would our lives be like if we weren't as connected to technology as we are today?" 
• "The world is a vast and mysterious place - let's explore how different cultures live and think" 
• "What can we learn from the mistakes of our ancestors? Let's find out!" 
• "We've heard about climate change, but what can we actually do to help?" 
• "We live in a world of opportunity - let's explore how we can make the most of it" 
• "Everyone has a story to tell - let's discover what makes us unique and wonderful" 
• "Hard work and dedication are key ingredients for success - let's learn how to make the most of them" 
• "Let's talk about what it means to make a difference in our world, and how we can do it!" 
• "We all have the potential to reach our goals - let's find out how!" 

Hook Examples For Expository Essays

An expository essay provides a great way to engage your reader in your writing. Here are some examples:

• "We often take for granted the little things in life - let's explore why they are so important." 
• "What lies beneath the surface of our world? Let's look deeper and find out!" 
• "Our environment is rapidly changing - let's see what we can do to protect it." 
• "What causes people to make bad decisions? Let's explore the psychology behind it." 
• "Without laws, society would be chaos - let's look at how laws keep us safe." 
• "What can we learn from history? Let's uncover the lessons of our past." 
• "Fear is an inevitable part of life - let's examine how to conquer it." 
• "Our minds are incredibly powerful - let's explore the potential of our thoughts." 
• "Life can be unpredictable, but how do we handle it? Let's discover some strategies." 
• "What is the meaning of success? Let's define it and work towards achieving it!"?

Paper Due? Why Suffer? That's our Job!

Hook Examples For Compare And Contrast Essay 

When writing a compare and contrast essay, it's important to have strong hooks.

Here are some examples of hooks that you can use for your compare-and-contrast essay :

• "They say that 'opposites attract,' but do they really?"
• "If you think two things can't be more different, think again."
• "You might be surprised to learn that two seemingly similar things can have vast differences."
• "Have you ever wondered what makes two things that seem identical actually very different?"
• "There are many similarities between X and Y, but there are also key differences that make them stand out."
• "Are you struggling to choose between two options that seem equally appealing?"
• "At first glance, it may seem like two things have nothing in common."
• "They say that variety is the spice of life, but is it always better?"
• "It's easy to get lost in the details, but sometimes all we need is a little comparison to see things clearly."
• "They say that everything is relative, but is that really true?"

Hook Examples For Research Papers

Crafting an effective research hook can be a powerful way to draw your readers into the world of your paper. 

Examples can provide excellent guidance when crafting this important part of any academic work!

Let's look at some hook examples in writing that can help you with your research paper : 

• "Many people believe that X is the answer, but what does the research say?" 
• "We've all heard about Y, but how does it actually work?" 
• "What can we learn from the mistakes of the past and how can we use that knowledge to move forward?" 
• "How has technology changed the way we do research and what ethical considerations do we need to take into account?" 
• "What are some of the implications of Z and what can we do to address them?" 
• "The debate around A is growing - let's explore both sides and see where the research takes us" 
• "We all have our own opinions on B, but what does the evidence tell us?" 
• "Let's take a look at C and uncover what it really means" 
• "What can we learn from examining the history of D and how can that help us in the present?" 
• "There are many theories surrounding E - let's explore them and draw our own conclusions" 

Hook Examples For Literary Analysis

Literary hook examples provide a great way to hook your readers into a literary analysis essay . 

Let's look at some examples of a great hook sentence here!

• "What secrets do the characters in this story hold and what truths can we uncover?" 
• "What does this piece of literature tell us about the human condition?" 
• "What themes can we uncover by examining this text through a feminist lens?" 
• "What is the author trying to say about society and how can we interpret it?" 
• "How does this story stand out from others in its genre and what makes it unique?" 
• "Let's explore the symbolism and imagery used in this piece of literature" 
• "What message is the author trying to convey and how can that help us better understand the world we live in?" 
• "The setting of this story plays an important role - let's examine it more closely" 
• "How does the use of language in this text help to convey its themes and ideas?" 
• "What can we learn about human nature by analyzing the characters in this story?" 

Paragraph Hook Examples 

Writing can be challenging, especially when it comes to crafting engaging openings. Here are ten hook ideas that might inspire your next paragraph:

• "We all have our guilty pleasures, whether it's binge-watching reality TV or devouring junk food."
• "Technology has transformed every aspect of our lives, from how we work and communicate to how we entertain ourselves."
• "History is full of fascinating stories and characters. Let's shine a light on the forgotten voices of the past."
• "Climate change is one of the most pressing issues of our time, but what can we do to address it?"
• "Language is a powerful tool for communication, but it can also be a source of confusion and misunderstanding."
• "The human brain is a mysterious and complex organ, capable of incredible feats of creativity and intelligence. Let's delve into the latest research on how our brains work."
• "Art has the power to inspire, challenge, and transform us. But what is it about certain works of art that make them timeless and universal?"
• "Identity is a complex and multifaceted concept, shaped by factors like race, gender, sexuality, and class."
• "Philosophy has been a source of inquiry and debate for centuries, but how can it help us navigate the complexities of modern life?"
• "Food is not just a source of sustenance, but a reflection of culture, history, and identity."

Query Letter Hook Examples

Query letter hook examples are a great way to engage your potential readers and agents. 

• "This story will make you question everything you thought you knew." 
• "Uncover an extraordinary tale of courage and determination." 
• "Discover the power of hope in this heartfelt journey of transformation." 
• "Follow a gripping story of passion and adventure." 
• "Journey with a character on a quest to find the truth." 
• "Experience an unforgettable tale of mystery and intrigue." 
• "Meet a remarkable cast of characters in this stirring journey of discovery." 
• "Go behind the scenes with a daring group of heroes." 
• "Explore a world of mystery and wonder with a captivating story." 
• "Be swept away in this thrilling adventure of courage and hope."  ? 

Hook Examples For Presentation

Presentation hooks are a remarkable way to captivate your audience and keep them engaged in your presentation. You can use interesting facts and statistic hooks as well!

With examples, you can create compelling stories or images that will make quite an impact!

• "We all know that X is important, but why is it so crucial to our lives?" 
• "What can we learn from the successes and failures of Y?" 
• "Let's explore how technology has changed the way we do Z and how that affects our lives" 
• "What is the one thing we need to know about A in order to understand its significance?" 
• "We've all heard about B, but what does it really mean for us?" 
• "What are the implications of C and how can we use that knowledge to our advantage?" 
• "Let's take a look at the history and evolution of D" 
• "How does E affect our daily lives and what can we do about it?" 
• "What are some of the potential benefits of F and what risks do we need to consider?" 
• "What has been the impact of G on our society and how can we use it to make positive changes?" 

Hook Examples For Introduction 

Introduction hook examples provide a great way to make a strong statement. 

• "Welcome to the world of X - let's dive in and see what it has to offer" 
• "We all know Y, but why is it so important?" 
• "What can we learn from the successes and failures of Z?" 
• "Let's take a journey through the history of A and uncover its secrets" 
• "How has technology changed the way we do C and what ethical considerations do we need to take into account?" 
• "What are some of the implications of D and what can we do to address them?" 
• "The debate around E is growing - let's explore both sides and see where the research takes us" 
• "Let's examine the facts and uncover what F really means" 
• "What can we learn from exploring the history of G and how can that help us in the present?" 

Concluding Hook Examples 

Writing a strong conclusion can be just as challenging as crafting an engaging opening. Here are closing hook examples that might help inspire you.

• "As we bring this discussion to a close, it's clear that [thesis statement]. But what are the implications of this insight for our lives and society as a whole?"
• "In the end, the examples we've explored illustrate the complexity and nuance of [topic]. But what does this mean for us moving forward?"
• "The evidence we've presented highlights the urgent need for [action or change]. So where do we go from here?"
• "As we wrap up this conversation, let's remember that [key takeaway or lesson]. How can we apply this insight to our own lives?"
• "The stories and characters we've examined offer a window into the human experience and our capacity for growth and transformation. What can we learn from their journeys?"
• "As we conclude this discussion, let's reflect on what this means for us as individuals and as a society."
• "The examples we've explored have shed light on the complexities and nuances of [topic]. But what are the broader implications of this understanding?"
• "As we come to the end of this essay, it's clear that [thesis statement]. But how can we use this knowledge to make a positive difference in the world?"
• "In conclusion, the evidence we've presented challenges us to rethink our assumptions about [topic]. Let's take this opportunity to broaden our perspectives and deepen our understanding."
• "As we close out this conversation, let's remember the power of human connection to heal and transform."

Hook Examples For Personal Statement

Crafting an attention-grabbing hook for your personal statement can be a great way to increase engagement and draw readers in. 

Utilizing examples of successful hooks is an excellent strategy to help you create one that stands out!

• "How have my experience and values shaped who I am today?" 
• "What makes me unique from other applicants and how can that help me succeed?" 
• "How have my past experiences, both good and bad, helped me understand the importance of X?" 
• "What do I know about Y that makes me stand out from other applicants?" 
• "Let's explore how my skillset can help me achieve success in Z" 
• "What have I learned from the people around me and how has that shaped my goals?" 
• "In what ways can I use my knowledge of A to make a difference?" 
• "How will B help me grow as an individual and achieve my dreams?" 
• "What have I learned through C that has helped me become a better person?" 
• "What can I offer that makes me the ideal candidate for this role?" 

Catchy Hook Examples

Captivating hook examples are an excellent way to grab your readers' attention and entice them into the content.

• "Are you ready for X? It's time to find out!" 
• "Discover the shocking truth about Y" 
• "Let's uncover the hidden secrets of Z" 
• "Unlock the power of A - it will blow your mind" 
• "B will change your life - here's how to get started" 
• "What does C mean for us? Let's find out!" 
• "Are you ready to take on the challenge of D?" 
• "Can E really change your life? Let's find out" 
• "F can provide incredible opportunities - here's how to get started" 
• "Discover the hidden potential of G - it will amaze you!" 

Hook Examples For Romeo and Juliet Essays

Romeo and Juliet is one of the most iconic love stories in literary history. But what is it about this tragic tale that continues to captivate audiences centuries after it was written? 

Here are some hook ideas that might inspire your essay:

• "What makes Romeo and Juliet one of the most enduring love stories of all time? Let's explore the themes and motifs that continue to captivate audiences today."
• "From sword fights to sonnets, Romeo and Juliet has it all. But what is it about Shakespeare's language and imagery that makes the play so memorable?"
• "Romeo and Juliet may seem like a straightforward story of love and tragedy, but what if there's more to it than meets the eye?"
• "The feud between the Capulets and Montagues may seem like a typical Shakespearean conflict. But what does it reveal about the tensions and rivalries of Renaissance-era Italy?"
• "What can Romeo and Juliet teach us about the power of passion and desire? Let's explore how the play challenges conventional morality and ethics."
• "Romeo and Juliet has been adapted countless times in popular culture, but what can we learn from the original play? Let's examine how Shakespeare's work continues to influence modern storytelling."
• "The tragic ending of Romeo and Juliet may seem predetermined, but what if the characters had made different choices? Let's explore the different paths the story could have taken."
• "Romeo and Juliet is often seen as a story of youthful passion, but what about the older characters in the play? Let's analyze the roles of Friar Lawrence and the Nurse in shaping the course of events."
• "Shakespeare's play may be set in Renaissance-era Italy, but its themes and motifs are universal. Let's examine how Romeo and Juliet speaks to contemporary issues and debates."
• "The balcony scene in Romeo and Juliet is one of the most iconic moments in all of literature, but what is it about this scene that makes it so powerful? Let's explore the language, imagery, and symbolism at play."

Hook Examples For Social Media 

Social media has become a ubiquitous part of modern life, with billions of users around the world. But what is it about social media that has captured our attention and kept us hooked?

Here are some social media hook examples for you:

• "Social media is like a never-ending rabbit hole, with endless scrolling and new content to explore."
• "With social media, we have the power to connect with people from all over the world, but at what cost to our privacy and mental health?"
• "The rise of social media has transformed the way we communicate, but it has also created a new set of challenges for individuals and society as a whole."
• "From Instagram influencers to TikTok trends, social media has given rise to a whole new world of digital fame and fortune."
• "In the age of social media, we are more connected than ever before, but are we really communicating?"
• "What happens when the platform becomes a battleground for toxic behavior and hate speech?"
• "From Facebook to Twitter, social media has revolutionized the way we consume news and information."
• "Social media has made it easier than ever to connect with people who share our interests and passions."
• "With social media, we can curate the perfect image of ourselves and our lives. But is this curated image an accurate reflection of who we really are?"
• "Social media has opened up new opportunities for businesses and entrepreneurs."

Tips for Writing A Good Hook  

A hook is the first sentence or phrase in your writing that captures your reader's attention. 

A good hook is essential for any successful piece of writing, whether it's a novel, an essay, or a blog post. 

Here are some tips for writing a good hook that will engage your readers and keep them interested:

• Start with an interesting fact or statistic: People love to learn new things. Starting with a surprising or little-known fact can be a great way to capture your reader's attention.
• Ask a thought-provoking question: Asking a question that challenges your reader's assumptions or beliefs can be a powerful way to hook them to thinking.
• Use descriptive language: Descriptive language can create a vivid picture in your reader's mind and draw them into your story or argument.
• Create a sense of urgency: If your writing is about a timely or important topic, creating a sense of urgency in your hook can be an effective way to grab your reader's attention.
• Start with a quote: A quote from a famous person or an expert in your field can lend credibility to your writing and pique your reader's interest.
• Share a personal anecdote: Sharing a personal story or experience can make your writing feel more relatable and human, and can help to build a connection with your reader.

Writing a hook for your essay can be a challenge, but with the right approach, you can create one that will capture your reader's attention. 

If you're looking for some guidance to help you craft the perfect hook, CollegeEssay.org offers the best essay writing service to help you!

Stop wasting your time trying to craft the perfect hook and let CollegeEssay.org take care of it for you! 

Enhance your writing skills by utilizing our essay writer AI . Take advantage of this valuable resource to improve your writing abilities.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

What is a hook example.

A hook example refers to an opening sentence of a piece of writing that is meant to grab the reader's attention and entice them to continue reading. 

Good hooks may use descriptive words, strong verbs, vivid imagery, or engaging dialogue to draw readers in.

How can I come up with a good hook?

Coming up with a good hook requires that you know your audience and the purpose of your writing.

Consider what interests readers in this particular topic or area.Use that to create an engaging opening sentence that will pique their curiosity.

Barbara P (Literature, Marketing)

Barbara is a highly educated and qualified author with a Ph.D. in public health from an Ivy League university. She has spent a significant amount of time working in the medical field, conducting a thorough study on a variety of health issues. Her work has been published in several major publications.

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53 Stellar College Essay Topics to Inspire You

College Essays

Most colleges and universities in the United States require applicants to submit at least one essay as part of their application. But trying to figure out what college essay topics you should choose is a tricky process. There are so many potential things you could write about!

In this guide, we go over the essential qualities that make for a great college essay topic and give you 50+ college essay topics you can use for your own statement . In addition, we provide you with helpful tips for turning your college essay topic into a stellar college essay.

What Qualities Make for a Good College Essay Topic?

Regardless of what you write about in your personal statement for college , there are key features that will always make for a stand-out college essay topic.

#1: It’s Specific

First off, good college essay topics are extremely specific : you should know all the pertinent facts that have to do with the topic and be able to see how the entire essay comes together.

Specificity is essential because it’ll not only make your essay stand out from other statements, but it'll also recreate the experience for admissions officers through its realism, detail, and raw power. You want to tell a story after all, and specificity is the way to do so. Nobody wants to read a vague, bland, or boring story — not even admissions officers!

For example, an OK topic would be your experience volunteering at a cat shelter over the summer. But a better, more specific college essay topic would be how you deeply connected with an elderly cat there named Marty, and how your bond with him made you realize that you want to work with animals in the future.

Remember that specificity in your topic is what will make your essay unique and memorable . It truly is the key to making a strong statement (pun intended)!

#2: It Shows Who You Are

In addition to being specific, good college essay topics reveal to admissions officers who you are: your passions and interests, what is important to you, your best (or possibly even worst) qualities, what drives you, and so on.

The personal statement is critical because it gives schools more insight into who you are as a person and not just who you are as a student in terms of grades and classes.

By coming up with a real, honest topic, you’ll leave an unforgettable mark on admissions officers.

#3: It’s Meaningful to You

The very best college essay topics are those that hold deep meaning to their writers and have truly influenced them in some significant way.

For instance, maybe you plan to write about the first time you played Skyrim to explain how this video game revealed to you the potentially limitless worlds you could create, thereby furthering your interest in game design.

Even if the topic seems trivial, it’s OK to use it — just as long as you can effectively go into detail about why this experience or idea had such an impact on you .

Don’t give in to the temptation to choose a topic that sounds impressive but doesn’t actually hold any deep meaning for you. Admissions officers will see right through this!

Similarly, don’t try to exaggerate some event or experience from your life if it’s not all that important to you or didn’t have a substantial influence on your sense of self.

#4: It’s Unique

College essay topics that are unique are also typically the most memorable, and if there’s anything you want to be during the college application process, it’s that! Admissions officers have to sift through thousands of applications, and the essay is one of the only parts that allows them to really get a sense of who you are and what you value in life.

If your essay is trite or boring, it won’t leave much of an impression , and your application will likely get immediately tossed to the side with little chance of seeing admission.

But if your essay topic is very original and different, you’re more likely to earn that coveted second glance at your application.

What does being unique mean exactly, though? Many students assume that they must choose an extremely rare or crazy experience to talk about in their essays —but that's not necessarily what I mean by "unique." Good college essay topics can be unusual and different, yes, but they can also be unique takes on more mundane or common activities and experiences .

For instance, say you want to write an essay about the first time you went snowboarding. Instead of just describing the details of the experience and how you felt during it, you could juxtapose your emotions with a creative and humorous perspective from the snowboard itself. Or you could compare your first attempt at snowboarding with your most recent experience in a snowboarding competition. The possibilities are endless!

#5: It Clearly Answers the Question

Finally, good college essay topics will clearly and fully answer the question(s) in the prompt.

You might fail to directly answer a prompt by misinterpreting what it’s asking you to do, or by answering only part of it (e.g., answering just one out of three questions).

Therefore, make sure you take the time to come up with an essay topic that is in direct response to every question in the prompt .

Take this Coalition Application prompt as an example:

What is the hardest part of being a teenager now? What's the best part? What advice would you give a younger sibling or friend (assuming they would listen to you)?

For this prompt, you’d need to answer all three questions (though it’s totally fine to focus more on one or two of them) to write a compelling and appropriate essay.

This is why we recommend reading and rereading the essay prompt ; you should know exactly what it’s asking you to do, well before you start brainstorming possible college application essay topics.

53 College Essay Topics to Get Your Brain Moving

In this section, we give you a list of 53 examples of college essay topics. Use these as jumping-off points to help you get started on your college essay and to ensure that you’re on track to coming up with a relevant and effective topic.

All college application essay topics below are categorized by essay prompt type. We’ve identified six general types of college essay prompts:

Why This College?

Change and personal growth, passions, interests, and goals, overcoming a challenge, diversity and community, solving a problem.

Note that these prompt types could overlap with one another, so you’re not necessarily limited to just one college essay topic in a single personal statement.

• How a particular major or program will help you achieve your academic or professional goals
• A memorable and positive interaction you had with a professor or student at the school
• Something good that happened to you while visiting the campus or while on a campus tour
• A certain class you want to take or a certain professor you’re excited to work with
• Some piece of on-campus equipment or facility that you’re looking forward to using
• Your plans to start a club at the school, possibly to raise awareness of a major issue
• A study abroad or other unique program that you can’t wait to participate in
• How and where you plan to volunteer in the community around the school
• An incredible teacher you studied under and the positive impact they had on you
• How you went from really liking something, such as a particular movie star or TV show, to not liking it at all (or vice versa)
• How yours or someone else’s (change in) socioeconomic status made you more aware of poverty
• A time someone said something to you that made you realize you were wrong
• How your opinion on a controversial topic, such as gay marriage or DACA, has shifted over time
• A documentary that made you aware of a particular social, economic, or political issue going on in the country or world
• Advice you would give to your younger self about friendship, motivation, school, etc.
• The steps you took in order to kick a bad or self-sabotaging habit
• A juxtaposition of the first and most recent time you did something, such as dance onstage
• A book you read that you credit with sparking your love of literature and/or writing
• A school assignment or project that introduced you to your chosen major
• A glimpse of your everyday routine and how your biggest hobby or interest fits into it
• The career and (positive) impact you envision yourself having as a college graduate
• A teacher or mentor who encouraged you to pursue a specific interest you had
• How moving around a lot helped you develop a love of international exchange or learning languages
• A special skill or talent you’ve had since you were young and that relates to your chosen major in some way, such as designing buildings with LEGO bricks
• Where you see yourself in 10 or 20 years
• Your biggest accomplishment so far relating to your passion (e.g., winning a gold medal for your invention at a national science competition)
• A time you lost a game or competition that was really important to you
• How you dealt with the loss or death of someone close to you
• A time you did poorly in a class that you expected to do well in
• How moving to a new school impacted your self-esteem and social life
• A chronic illness you battled or are still battling
• Your healing process after having your heart broken for the first time
• A time you caved under peer pressure and the steps you took so that it won't happen again
• How you almost gave up on learning a foreign language but stuck with it
• Why you decided to become a vegetarian or vegan, and how you navigate living with a meat-eating family
• What you did to overcome a particular anxiety or phobia you had (e.g., stage fright)
• A history of a failed experiment you did over and over, and how you finally found a way to make it work successfully
• Someone within your community whom you aspire to emulate
• A family tradition you used to be embarrassed about but are now proud of
• Your experience with learning English upon moving to the United States
• A close friend in the LGBTQ+ community who supported you when you came out
• A time you were discriminated against, how you reacted, and what you would do differently if faced with the same situation again
• How you navigate your identity as a multiracial, multiethnic, and/or multilingual person
• A project or volunteer effort you led to help or improve your community
• A particular celebrity or role model who inspired you to come out as LGBTQ+
• Your biggest challenge (and how you plan to tackle it) as a female in a male-dominated field
• How you used to discriminate against your own community, and what made you change your mind and eventually take pride in who you are and/or where you come from
• A program you implemented at your school in response to a known problem, such as a lack of recycling cans in the cafeteria
• A time you stepped in to mediate an argument or fight between two people
• An app or other tool you developed to make people’s lives easier in some way
• A time you proposed a solution that worked to an ongoing problem at school, an internship, or a part-time job
• The steps you took to identify and fix an error in coding for a website or program
• An important social or political issue that you would fix if you had the means

How to Build a College Essay in 6 Easy Steps

Once you’ve decided on a college essay topic you want to use, it’s time to buckle down and start fleshing out your essay. These six steps will help you transform a simple college essay topic into a full-fledged personal statement.

Step 1: Write Down All the Details

Once you’ve chosen a general topic to write about, get out a piece of paper and get to work on creating a list of all the key details you could include in your essay . These could be things such as the following:

• Emotions you felt at the time
• Names, places, and/or numbers
• Dialogue, or what you or someone else said
• A specific anecdote, example, or experience
• Descriptions of how things looked, felt, or seemed

If you can only come up with a few details, then it’s probably best to revisit the list of college essay topics above and choose a different one that you can write more extensively on.

Good college essay topics are typically those that:

• You remember well (so nothing that happened when you were really young)
• You're excited to write about
• You're not embarrassed or uncomfortable to share with others
• You believe will make you positively stand out from other applicants

Step 2: Figure Out Your Focus and Approach

Once you have all your major details laid out, start to figure out how you could arrange them in a way that makes sense and will be most effective.

It’s important here to really narrow your focus: you don’t need to (and shouldn’t!) discuss every single aspect of your trip to visit family in Indonesia when you were 16. Rather, zero in on a particular anecdote or experience and explain why and how it impacted you.

Alternatively, you could write about multiple experiences while weaving them together with a clear, meaningful theme or concept , such as how your math teacher helped you overcome your struggle with geometry over the course of an entire school year. In this case, you could mention a few specific times she tutored you and most strongly supported you in your studies.

There’s no one right way to approach your college essay, so play around to see what approaches might work well for the topic you’ve chosen.

If you’re really unsure about how to approach your essay, think about what part of your topic was or is most meaningful and memorable to you, and go from there.

Step 3: Structure Your Narrative

• Beginning: Don’t just spout off a ton of background information here—you want to hook your reader, so try to start in the middle of the action , such as with a meaningful conversation you had or a strong emotion you felt. It could also be a single anecdote if you plan to center your essay around a specific theme or idea.
• Middle: Here’s where you start to flesh out what you’ve established in the opening. Provide more details about the experience (if a single anecdote) or delve into the various times your theme or idea became most important to you. Use imagery and sensory details to put the reader in your shoes.
• End: It’s time to bring it all together. Finish describing the anecdote or theme your essay centers around and explain how it relates to you now , what you’ve learned or gained from it, and how it has influenced your goals.

Step 4: Write a Rough Draft

By now you should have all your major details and an outline for your essay written down; these two things will make it easy for you to convert your notes into a rough draft.

At this stage of the writing process, don’t worry too much about vocabulary or grammar and just focus on getting out all your ideas so that they form the general shape of an essay . It’s OK if you’re a little over the essay's word limit — as you edit, you’ll most likely make some cuts to irrelevant and ineffective parts anyway.

If at any point you get stuck and have no idea what to write, revisit steps 1-3 to see whether there are any important details or ideas you might be omitting or not elaborating on enough to get your overall point across to admissions officers.

Step 5: Edit, Revise, and Proofread

• Sections that are too wordy and don’t say anything important
• Irrelevant details that don’t enhance your essay or the point you're trying to make
• Parts that seem to drag or that feel incredibly boring or redundant
• Areas that are vague and unclear and would benefit from more detail
• Phrases or sections that are awkwardly placed and should be moved around
• Areas that feel unconvincing, inauthentic, or exaggerated

Start paying closer attention to your word choice/vocabulary and grammar at this time, too. It’s perfectly normal to edit and revise your college essay several times before asking for feedback, so keep working with it until you feel it’s pretty close to its final iteration.

This step will likely take the longest amount of time — at least several weeks, if not months — so really put effort into fixing up your essay. Once you’re satisfied, do a final proofread to ensure that it’s technically correct.

Step 6: Get Feedback and Tweak as Needed

After you’ve overhauled your rough draft and made it into a near-final draft, give your essay to somebody you trust , such as a teacher or parent, and have them look it over for technical errors and offer you feedback on its content and overall structure.

Use this feedback to make any last-minute changes or edits. If necessary, repeat steps 5 and 6. You want to be extra sure that your essay is perfect before you submit it to colleges!

Recap: From College Essay Topics to Great College Essays

Many different kinds of college application essay topics can get you into a great college. But this doesn’t make it any easier to choose the best topic for you .

In general, the best college essay topics have the following qualities :

• They’re specific
• They show who you are
• They’re meaningful to you
• They’re unique
• They clearly answer the question

If you ever need help coming up with an idea of what to write for your essay, just refer to the list of 53 examples of college essay topics above to get your brain juices flowing.

Once you’ve got an essay topic picked out, follow these six steps for turning your topic into an unforgettable personal statement :

• Write down all the details
• Figure out your focus and approach
• Structure your narrative
• Write a rough draft
• Edit, revise, and proofread
• Get feedback and tweak as needed

And with that, I wish you the best of luck on your college essays!

What’s Next?

Writing a college essay is no simple task. Get expert college essay tips with our guides on how to come up with great college essay ideas and how to write a college essay, step by step .

You can also check out this huge list of college essay prompts  to get a feel for what types of questions you'll be expected to answer on your applications.

Want to see examples of college essays that absolutely rocked? You're in luck because we've got a collection of 100+ real college essay examples right here on our blog!

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Hannah received her MA in Japanese Studies from the University of Michigan and holds a bachelor's degree from the University of Southern California. From 2013 to 2015, she taught English in Japan via the JET Program. She is passionate about education, writing, and travel.

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• How to Make Your College Essay Stand Out | Tips & Examples

How to Make Your College Essay Stand Out | Tips & Examples

Published on October 25, 2021 by Kirsten Courault . Revised on August 14, 2023.

While admissions officers are interested in hearing about your experiences , they’re also interested in how you present them. An exceptionally written essay will stand out from the crowd, meaning that admissions officers will spend more time reading it.

To write a standout essay, you can use literary devices to pull the reader in and catch their attention. Literary devices often complement each other and can be woven together to craft an original, vivid, and creative personal essay. However, don’t overdo it; focus on using just a few devices well, rather than trying to use as many as possible.

Table of contents

Essay structure devices, storytelling devices, imagery devices, tone devices, sentence-level devices, other interesting articles, frequently asked questions about college application essays.

You can frame your essay with symbolism or extended metaphors, which both work well in a montage or narrative essay structure .

Symbolism is the use of tangible objects to represent ideas. In your college essay, you can use one major symbol that represents your essay’s theme. Throughout your essay, you can also intentionally place related minor symbols to communicate ideas without explicitly stating them. The key is to use original, meaningful symbols that are not cliché.

For example, if your essay’s theme is “family,” your symbol could be a well-worn beloved Lord of the Rings Monopoly game set. Rather than directly saying, “The Lord of the Rings Monopoly game has brought my family happiness,” share stories with this game to demonstrate your family’s closeness, joy, and loyalty.

Supporting symbols:

• Story 1: Chipped and mismatching collectible Gandalf the Grey coffee mugs surround the Monopoly board during a lazy weekend
• Story 2: A folding card table supports our family’s mobile Monopoly game while the family plays at a campsite
• Story 3: An extended edition LOTR box set plays in the background during Thanksgiving feasts with extended family. We have a Monopoly competition after dinner.
• Story 4: Matching Frodo, Sam, Pippin, and Merry Halloween outfits are proudly worn by me and my family members. We always play a game of Monopoly the afternoon before going out together to our town’s annual Halloween carnival.

In the example below, a student depicts “The Monster,” an imaginary symbolic figure that represents the student’s jealousy.

Main idea: I have been on a quest to slay the Monster, the toxic envy that overtakes me when I compare myself to one of my friends.

Narrative: I remember first encountering the Monster in second grade when Laurel bobbed her hair. Everybody raved about how cute she looked. The Monster had plenty to say about how ugly, unpopular, and undesirable I was compared to Laurel. After that day, the Monster never seemed to leave my side.

Extended metaphor

A metaphor directly compares two unrelated objects, giving deeper meaning and multi-dimensional imagery. Since metaphors create a new reality between two objects, use them sparingly throughout your essay to avoid overwhelming the reader with too many comparisons.

You can also use an extended metaphor, which builds upon a simple metaphor throughout the essay with other literary devices and more in-depth descriptions.

To brainstorm your extended metaphor, you should first identify feelings or values associated with your story and then brainstorm images associated with these feelings.

Keep the following in mind when crafting your extended metaphor:

• Keep the comparison simple.
• Use a few other literary devices such as imagery or anecdotes to enrich your extended metaphor.
• Avoid making cliché comparisons.
• Don’t exaggerate or make an unrealistic comparison.

In the example below, a student uses the extended metaphor of a museum to explore the theme of identity. Each anecdote is framed as an “exhibit” that tells us something about her life.

• The Sight Exhibit: Flashback illustrating how racial discrimination led to my identity as a writer
• The Sound Exhibit: Snapshots of musical memories, identity as a musical theater lover
• The Smell Exhibit: Scents of my family’s Thanksgiving meal, identity as a daughter, granddaughter, and member of the Arimoto family
• The Touch Exhibit: Feel of warm water washing away academic and extracurricular worries while washing dishes, identity as a level-headed honors student
• The Taste Exhibit: Taste of salty sweat while bike training with a friend, identity as an athlete

In the next example, a student uses the river as an extended metaphor for his educational journey. The different parts of the river’s course represent different challenges he has overcome.

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Here are the most effective literary devices to enrich your storytelling in college essays.

Into the midst of things, in medias res

In medias res , Latin for “into the midst of things,” is a device that involves starting in the middle of the action. Then, important details are added to fill in the story. Similar to the beginning of an action or thriller movie, in medias res immediately drops the reader into a scene, allowing them to discern the story through sensory imagery.

Unlike a linear chronological narrative, flashbacks can be used to transport your reader from the present moment to a key past event to give a clearer understanding of your current personality, values, and goals.

Dialogue is a conversation between two or more people. Using dialogue in your essay can sometimes create suspense, transport readers into a scene, or highlight an important message. However, it should be used sparingly and strategically to avoid an anti-climatic or redundant moment.

Famous quotes should be avoided since they are overused, but using quotes from important people in your life can be original, personal, and powerful. But make sure the quote adds value to your essay.

You can use both figurative and literal imagery throughout your essay to paint a clearer, richer image in your reader’s mind.

Similes , like metaphors, compare two unrelated objects but use the words “as” or “like.”

In a metaphor, the two objects are considered the same, but in a simile, the word “like” or “as” creates some distance between the objects.

Five senses

Illustrate your five senses with descriptive language to help your readers quickly imagine your story in a vivid, visceral way. Sensory language also helps to convey your interest and knowledge of a topic.

Personification

Personification uses human characteristics and behaviors to describe inanimate objects, animals, or ideas. This can help show your emotional connection to something in an original and poetic way.

Here are a few tone devices to help improve your essay’s authenticity and voice .

Colloquialisms

While most slang is too informal for college essays, regional colloquialisms can sometimes improve your essay’s authenticity when used strategically, enhancing your ability to connect with admissions officers and adding a memorable element.

However, you should ensure that they don’t seem shoehorned in or otherwise affect the flow, clarity, or professionalism of your essay. If applying to schools outside your region of origin (or if you’re applying as an international student ), be sure the colloquialism is one that will be widely understood.

Hyperbole is dramatic exaggeration to express the intensity of your feelings about something. Use hyperbole sparingly to ensure the greatest impact and avoid sounding overly dramatic. Make sure to be original, avoiding overused comparisons.

Sentence-level devices are useful for dramatic effect or to highlight a point. But use them sparingly to avoid sounding robotic, redundant, or awkward.

To have the greatest impact, use these devices against the backdrop of varying sentence structures and at a critical or vulnerable moment in your essay, especially during reflection.

If you want to know more about academic writing , effective communication , or parts of speech , make sure to check out some of our other articles with explanations and examples.

Academic writing

• Writing process
• Transition words
• Passive voice
• Paraphrasing

 Communication

• How to end an email
• Ms, mrs, miss
• How to start an email
• I hope this email finds you well
• Hope you are doing well

 Parts of speech

• Personal pronouns
• Conjunctions

A standout college essay has several key ingredients:

• A unique, personally meaningful topic
• A memorable introduction with vivid imagery or an intriguing hook
• Specific stories and language that show instead of telling
• Vulnerability that’s authentic but not aimed at soliciting sympathy
• Clear writing in an appropriate style and tone
• A conclusion that offers deep insight or a creative ending

Your college essay accounts for about 25% of your application’s weight. It may be the deciding factor in whether you’re accepted, especially for competitive schools where most applicants have exceptional grades, test scores, and extracurricular track records.

Though admissions officers are interested in hearing your story, they’re also interested in how you tell it. An exceptionally written essay will differentiate you from other applicants, meaning that admissions officers will spend more time reading it.

You can use literary devices to catch your reader’s attention and enrich your storytelling; however, focus on using just a few devices well, rather than trying to use as many as possible.

You can use humor in a college essay , but carefully consider its purpose and use it wisely. An effective use of humor involves unexpected, keen observations of the everyday, or speaks to a deeper theme. Humor shouldn’t be the main focus of the essay, but rather a tool to improve your storytelling.

Get a second opinion from a teacher, counselor, or essay coach on whether your essay’s humor is appropriate.

Avoid swearing in a college essay , since admissions officers’ opinions of profanity will vary. In some cases, it might be okay to use a vulgar word, such as in dialogue or quotes that make an important point in your essay. However, it’s safest to try to make the same point without swearing.

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10 Personal Statement Essay Examples That Worked

What’s covered:, what is a personal statement.

• Essay 1: Summer Program
• Essay 2: Being Bangladeshi-American
• Essay 3: Why Medicine
• Essay 4: Love of Writing
• Essay 5: Starting a Fire
• Essay 6: Dedicating a Track
• Essay 7: Body Image and Eating Disorders
• Essay 8: Becoming a Coach
• Essay 9: Eritrea
• Essay 10: Journaling
• Is Your Personal Statement Strong Enough?

Your personal statement is any essay that you must write for your main application, such as the Common App Essay , University of California Essays , or Coalition Application Essay . This type of essay focuses on your unique experiences, ideas, or beliefs that may not be discussed throughout the rest of your application. This essay should be an opportunity for the admissions officers to get to know you better and give them a glimpse into who you really are.

In this post, we will share 10 different personal statements that were all written by real students. We will also provide commentary on what each essay did well and where there is room for improvement, so you can make your personal statement as strong as possible!

Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized. 

Personal Statement Examples

Essay example #1: exchange program.

The twisting roads, ornate mosaics, and fragrant scent of freshly ground spices had been so foreign at first. Now in my fifth week of the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco, I felt more comfortable in the city. With a bag full of pastries from the market, I navigated to a bus stop, paid the fare, and began the trip back to my host family’s house. It was hard to believe that only a few years earlier my mom was worried about letting me travel around my home city on my own, let alone a place that I had only lived in for a few weeks. While I had been on a journey towards self-sufficiency and independence for a few years now, it was Morocco that pushed me to become the confident, self-reflective person that I am today.

As a child, my parents pressured me to achieve perfect grades, master my swim strokes, and discover interesting hobbies like playing the oboe and learning to pick locks. I felt compelled to live my life according to their wishes. Of course, this pressure was not a wholly negative factor in my life –– you might even call it support. However, the constant presence of my parents’ hopes for me overcame my own sense of desire and led me to become quite dependent on them. I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school. Despite all these achievements, I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success. I had always been expected to succeed on the path they had defined. However, this path was interrupted seven years after my parents’ divorce when my dad moved across the country to Oregon.

I missed my dad’s close presence, but I loved my new sense of freedom. My parents’ separation allowed me the space to explore my own strengths and interests as each of them became individually busier. As early as middle school, I was riding the light rail train by myself, reading maps to get myself home, and applying to special academic programs without urging from my parents. Even as I took more initiatives on my own, my parents both continued to see me as somewhat immature. All of that changed three years ago, when I applied and was accepted to the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco. I would be studying Arabic and learning my way around the city of Marrakesh. Although I think my parents were a little surprised when I told them my news, the addition of a fully-funded scholarship convinced them to let me go.

I lived with a host family in Marrakesh and learned that they, too, had high expectations for me. I didn’t know a word of Arabic, and although my host parents and one brother spoke good English, they knew I was there to learn. If I messed up, they patiently corrected me but refused to let me fall into the easy pattern of speaking English just as I did at home. Just as I had when I was younger, I felt pressured and stressed about meeting their expectations. However, one day, as I strolled through the bustling market square after successfully bargaining with one of the street vendors, I realized my mistake. My host family wasn’t being unfair by making me fumble through Arabic. I had applied for this trip, and I had committed to the intensive language study. My host family’s rules about speaking Arabic at home had not been to fulfill their expectations for me, but to help me fulfill my expectations for myself. Similarly, the pressure my parents had put on me as a child had come out of love and their hopes for me, not out of a desire to crush my individuality.

As my bus drove through the still-bustling market square and past the medieval Ben-Youssef madrasa, I realized that becoming independent was a process, not an event. I thought that my parents’ separation when I was ten had been the one experience that would transform me into a self-motivated and autonomous person. It did, but that didn’t mean that I didn’t still have room to grow. Now, although I am even more self-sufficient than I was three years ago, I try to approach every experience with the expectation that it will change me. It’s still difficult, but I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important.

What the Essay Did Well

This is a nice essay because it delves into particular character trait of the student and how it has been shaped and matured over time. Although it doesn’t focus the essay around a specific anecdote, the essay is still successful because it is centered around this student’s independence. This is a nice approach for a personal statement: highlight a particular trait of yours and explore how it has grown with you.

The ideas in this essay are universal to growing up—living up to parents’ expectations, yearning for freedom, and coming to terms with reality—but it feels unique to the student because of the inclusion of details specific to them. Including their oboe lessons, the experience of riding the light rail by themselves, and the negotiations with a street vendor helps show the reader what these common tropes of growing up looked like for them personally. 

Another strength of the essay is the level of self-reflection included throughout the piece. Since there is no central anecdote tying everything together, an essay about a character trait is only successful when you deeply reflect on how you felt, where you made mistakes, and how that trait impacts your life. The author includes reflection in sentences like “ I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success, ” and “ I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important. ” These sentences help us see how the student was impacted and what their point of view is.

What Could Be Improved

The largest change this essay would benefit from is to show not tell. The platitude you have heard a million times no doubt, but for good reason. This essay heavily relies on telling the reader what occurred, making us less engaged as the entire reading experience feels more passive. If the student had shown us what happens though, it keeps the reader tied to the action and makes them feel like they are there with the student, making it much more enjoyable to read. 

For example, they tell us about the pressure to succeed their parents placed on them: “ I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school.”  They could have shown us what that pressure looked like with a sentence like this: “ My stomach turned somersaults as my rattling knee thumped against the desk before every test, scared to get anything less than a 95. For five years the painful squawk of the oboe only reminded me of my parents’ claps and whistles at my concerts. I mastered the butterfly, backstroke, and freestyle, fighting against the anchor of their expectations threatening to pull me down.”

If the student had gone through their essay and applied this exercise of bringing more detail and colorful language to sentences that tell the reader what happened, the essay would be really great. 

Table of Contents

Essay Example #2: Being Bangladeshi-American

Life before was good: verdant forests, sumptuous curries, and a devoted family.

Then, my family abandoned our comfortable life in Bangladesh for a chance at the American dream in Los Angeles. Within our first year, my father was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. He lost his battle three weeks before my sixth birthday. Facing a new country without the steady presence of my father, we were vulnerable — prisoners of hardship in the land of the free. We resettled in the Bronx, in my uncle’s renovated basement. It was meant to be our refuge, but I felt more displaced than ever. Gone were the high-rise condos of West L.A.; instead, government projects towered over the neighborhood. Pedestrians no longer smiled and greeted me; the atmosphere was hostile, even toxic. Schoolkids were quick to pick on those they saw as weak or foreign, hurling harsh words I’d never heard before.

Meanwhile, my family began integrating into the local Bangladeshi community. I struggled to understand those who shared my heritage. Bangladeshi mothers stayed home while fathers drove cabs and sold fruit by the roadside — painful societal positions. Riding on crosstown buses or walking home from school, I began to internalize these disparities. During my fleeting encounters with affluent Upper East Siders, I saw kids my age with nannies, parents who wore suits to work, and luxurious apartments with spectacular views. Most took cabs to their destinations: cabs that Bangladeshis drove. I watched the mundane moments of their lives with longing, aching to plant myself in their shoes. Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day. 

As I grappled with my relationship with the Bangladeshi community, I turned my attention to helping my Bronx community by pursuing an internship with Assemblyman Luis Sepulveda. I handled desk work and took calls, spending the bulk of my time actively listening to the hardships constituents faced — everything from a veteran stripped of his benefits to a grandmother unable to support her bedridden grandchild.

I’d never exposed myself to stories like these, and now I was the first to hear them. As an intern, I could only assist in what felt like the small ways — pointing out local job offerings, printing information on free ESL classes, reaching out to non-profits. But to a community facing an onslaught of intense struggles, I realized that something as small as these actions could have vast impacts. Seeing the immediate consequences of my actions inspired me. Throughout that summer, I internalized my community’s daily challenges in a new light. I began to stop seeing the prevalent underemployment and cramped living quarters less as sources of shame. Instead, I saw them as realities that had to be acknowledged, but could ultimately be remedied. I also realized the benefits of the Bangladeshi culture I had been so ashamed of. My Bangla language skills were an asset to the office, and my understanding of Bangladeshi etiquette allowed for smooth communication between office staff and its constituents. As I helped my neighbors navigate city services, I saw my heritage with pride — a perspective I never expected to have.

I can now appreciate the value of my unique culture and background, and of living with less. This perspective offers room for progress, community integration, and a future worth fighting for. My time with Assemblyman Sepulveda’s office taught me that I can be a change agent in enabling this progression. Far from being ashamed of my community, I want to someday return to local politics in the Bronx to continue helping others access the American Dream. I hope to help my community appreciate the opportunity to make progress together. By embracing reality, I learned to live it. Along the way, I discovered one thing: life is good, but we can make it better.

This student’s passion for social justice and civic duty shines through in this essay because of how honest it is. Sharing their personal experience with immigrating, moving around, being an outsider, and finding a community allows us to see the hardships this student has faced and builds empathy towards their situation. However, what really makes it strong is that they go beyond describing the difficulties they faced and explain the mental impact it had on them as a child: Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day. 

The rejection of their culture presented at the beginning of the essay creates a nice juxtaposition with the student’s view in the latter half of the essay and helps demonstrate how they have matured. They use their experience interning as a way to delve into a change in their thought process about their culture and show how their passion for social justice began. Using this experience as a mechanism to explore their thoughts and feelings is an excellent example of how items that are included elsewhere on your application should be incorporated into your essay.

This essay prioritizes emotions and personal views over specific anecdotes. Although there are details and certain moments incorporated throughout to emphasize the author’s points, the main focus remains on the student and how they grapple with their culture and identity.  

One area for improvement is the conclusion. Although the forward-looking approach is a nice way to end an essay focused on social justice, it would be nice to include more details and imagery in the conclusion. How does the student want to help their community? What government position do they see themselves holding one day? 

A more impactful ending might look like the student walking into their office at the New York City Housing Authority in 15 years and looking at the plans to build a new development in the Bronx just blocks away from where the grew up that would provide quality housing to people in their Bangladeshi community. They would smile while thinking about how far they have come from that young kid who used to be ashamed of their culture. 

Essay Example #3: Why Medicine

I took my first trip to China to visit my cousin Anna in July of 2014. Distance had kept us apart, but when we were together, we fell into all of our old inside jokes and caught up on each other’s lives. Her sparkling personality and optimistic attitude always brought a smile to my face. This time, however, my heart broke when I saw the effects of her brain cancer; she had suffered from a stroke that paralyzed her left side. She was still herself in many ways, but I could see that the damage to her brain made things difficult for her. I stayed by her every day, providing the support she needed, whether assisting her with eating and drinking, reading to her, or just watching “Friends.” During my flight back home, sorrow and helplessness overwhelmed me. Would I ever see Anna again? Could I have done more to make Anna comfortable? I wished I could stay in China longer to care for her. As I deplaned, I wondered if I could transform my grief to help other children and teenagers in the US who suffered as Anna did.

The day after I got home, as jet lag dragged me awake a few minutes after midnight, I remembered hearing about the Family Reach Foundation (FRF) and its work with children going through treatments at the local hospital and their families. I began volunteering in the FRF’s Children’s Activity Room, where I play with children battling cancer. Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up. When they take on the roles of firefighters or fairies, we all get caught up in the game; for that time, they forget the sanitized, stark, impersonal walls of the pediatric oncology ward. Building close relationships with them and seeing them giggle and laugh is so rewarding — I love watching them grow and get better throughout their course of treatment.

Hearing from the parents about their children’s condition and seeing the children recover inspired me to consider medical research. To get started, I enrolled in a summer collegelevel course in Abnormal Psychology. There I worked with Catelyn, a rising college senior, on a data analysis project regarding Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). Together, we examined the neurological etiology of DID by studying four fMRI and PET cases. I fell in love with gathering data and analyzing the results and was amazed by our final product: several stunning brain images showcasing the areas of hyper and hypoactivity in brains affected by DID. Desire quickly followed my amazement — I want to continue this project and study more brains. Their complexity, delicacy, and importance to every aspect of life fascinate me. Successfully completing this research project gave me a sense of hope; I know I am capable of participating in a large scale research project and potentially making a difference in someone else’s life through my research.

Anna’s diagnosis inspired me to begin volunteering at FRF; from there, I discovered my desire to help people further by contributing to medical research. As my research interest blossomed, I realized that it’s no coincidence that I want to study brains—after all, Anna suffered from brain cancer. Reflecting on these experiences this past year and a half, I see that everything I’ve done is connected. Sadly, a few months after I returned from China, Anna passed away. I am still sad, but as I run a toy truck across the floor and watch one of the little patients’ eyes light up, I imagine that she would be proud of my commitment to pursue medicine and study the brain.

This essay has a very strong emotional core that tugs at the heart strings and makes the reader feel invested. Writing about sickness can be difficult and doesn’t always belong in a personal statement, but in this case it works well because the focus is on how this student cared for her cousin and dealt with the grief and emotions surrounding her condition. Writing about the compassion she showed and the doubts and concerns that filled her mind keeps the focus on the author and her personality. 

This continues when she again discusses the activities she did with the kids at FRF and the personal reflection this experience allowed her to have. For example, she writes: Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up.

Concluding the essay with the sad story of her cousin’s passing brings the essay full circle and returns to the emotional heart of the piece to once again build a connection with the reader. However, it finishes on a hopeful note and demonstrates how this student has been able to turn a tragic experience into a source of lifelong inspiration. 

One thing this essay should be cognizant of is that personal statements should not read as summaries of your extracurricular resume. Although this essay doesn’t fully fall into that trap, it does describe two key extracurriculars the student participated in. However, the inclusion of such a strong emotional core running throughout the essay helps keep the focus on the student and her thoughts and feelings during these activities.

To avoid making this mistake, make sure you have a common thread running through your essay and the extracurriculars provide support to the story you are trying to tell, rather than crafting a story around your activities. And, as this essay does, make sure there is lots of personal reflection and feelings weaved throughout to focus attention to you rather than your extracurriculars. 

Essay Example #4: Love of Writing

“I want to be a writer.” This had been my answer to every youthful discussion with the adults in my life about what I would do when I grew up. As early as elementary school, I remember reading my writing pieces aloud to an audience at “Author of the Month” ceremonies. Bearing this goal in mind, and hoping to gain some valuable experience, I signed up for a journalism class during my freshman year. Despite my love for writing, I initially found myself uninterested in the subject and I struggled to enjoy the class. When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines. Journalism required a laconic style and orderly structure, and I found my teacher’s assignments formulaic and dull. That class shook my confidence as a writer. I was uncertain if I should continue in it for the rest of my high school career.

Despite my misgivings, I decided that I couldn’t make a final decision on whether to quit journalism until I had some experience working for a paper outside of the classroom. The following year, I applied to be a staff reporter on our school newspaper. I hoped this would help me become more self-driven and creative, rather than merely writing articles that my teacher assigned. To my surprise, my time on staff was worlds away from what I experienced in the journalism class. Although I was unaccustomed to working in a fast-paced environment and initially found it burdensome to research and complete high-quality stories in a relatively short amount of time, I also found it exciting. I enjoyed learning more about topics and events on campus that I did not know much about; some of my stories that I covered in my first semester concerned a chess tournament, a food drive, and a Spanish immersion party. I relished in the freedom I had to explore and learn, and to write more independently than I could in a classroom.

Although I enjoyed many aspects of working for the paper immediately, reporting also pushed me outside of my comfort zone. I am a shy person, and speaking with people I did not know intimidated me. During my first interview, I met with the basketball coach to prepare for a story about the team’s winning streak. As I approached his office, I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block, and I could hardly get out my opening questions. Fortunately, the coach was very kind and helped me through the conversation. Encouraged, I prepared for my next interview with more confidence. After a few weeks of practice, I even started to look forward to interviewing people on campus. That first journalism class may have bored me, but even if journalism in practice was challenging, it was anything but tedious.

Over the course of that year, I grew to love writing for our school newspaper. Reporting made me aware of my surroundings, and made me want to know more about current events on campus and in the town where I grew up. By interacting with people all over campus, I came to understand the breadth of individuals and communities that make up my high school. I felt far more connected to diverse parts of my school through my work as a journalist, and I realized that journalism gave me a window into seeing beyond my own experiences. The style of news writing may be different from what I used to think “writing” meant, but I learned that I can still derive exciting plots from events that may have gone unnoticed if not for my stories. I no longer struggle to approach others, and truly enjoy getting to know people and recognizing their accomplishments through my writing. Becoming a writer may be a difficult path, but it is as rewarding as I hoped when I was young.

This essay is clearly structured in a manner that makes it flow very nicely and contributes to its success. It starts with a quote to draw in the reader and show this student’s life-long passion for writing. Then it addresses the challenges of facing new, unfamiliar territory and how this student overcame it. Finally, it concludes by reflecting on this eye-opening experience and a nod to their younger self from the introduction. Having a well-thought out and sequential structure with clear transitions makes it extremely easy for the reader to follow along and take away the main idea.

Another positive aspect of the essay is the use of strong and expressive language. Sentences like “ When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines ” stand out because of the intentional use of words like “lyrical”, “profound”, and “thrilling” to convey the student’s love of writing. The author also uses an active voice to capture the readers’ attention and keep us engaged. They rely on their language and diction to reveal details to the reader, for instance saying “ I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block ” to describe feeling nervous.

This essay is already very strong, so there isn’t much that needs to be changed. One thing that could take the essay from great to outstanding would be to throw in more quotes, internal dialogue, and sensory descriptors.

It would be nice to see the nerves they felt interviewing the coach by including dialogue like “ Um…I want to interview you about…uh…”.  They could have shown their original distaste for journalism by narrating the thoughts running through their head. The fast-paced environment of their newspaper could have come to life with descriptions about the clacking of keyboards and the whirl of people running around laying out articles.

Essay Example #5: Starting a Fire

Was I no longer the beloved daughter of nature, whisperer of trees? Knee-high rubber boots, camouflage, bug spray—I wore the garb and perfume of a proud wild woman, yet there I was, hunched over the pathetic pile of stubborn sticks, utterly stumped, on the verge of tears. As a child, I had considered myself a kind of rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees, who could glide through tick-infested meadows and emerge Lyme-free. I knew the cracks of the earth like the scars on my own rough palms. Yet here I was, ten years later, incapable of performing the most fundamental outdoor task: I could not, for the life of me, start a fire. 

Furiously I rubbed the twigs together—rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers. No smoke. The twigs were too young, too sticky-green; I tossed them away with a shower of curses, and began tearing through the underbrush in search of a more flammable collection. My efforts were fruitless. Livid, I bit a rejected twig, determined to prove that the forest had spurned me, offering only young, wet bones that would never burn. But the wood cracked like carrots between my teeth—old, brittle, and bitter. Roaring and nursing my aching palms, I retreated to the tent, where I sulked and awaited the jeers of my family. 

Rattling their empty worm cans and reeking of fat fish, my brother and cousins swaggered into the campsite. Immediately, they noticed the minor stick massacre by the fire pit and called to me, their deep voices already sharp with contempt. 

“Where’s the fire, Princess Clara?” they taunted. “Having some trouble?” They prodded me with the ends of the chewed branches and, with a few effortless scrapes of wood on rock, sparked a red and roaring flame. My face burned long after I left the fire pit. The camp stank of salmon and shame. 

In the tent, I pondered my failure. Was I so dainty? Was I that incapable? I thought of my hands, how calloused and capable they had been, how tender and smooth they had become. It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive. And I’d gotten glasses, having grown horrifically nearsighted; long nights of dim lighting and thick books had done this. I couldn’t remember the last time I had lain down on a hill, barefaced, and seen the stars without having to squint. Crawling along the edge of the tent, a spider confirmed my transformation—he disgusted me, and I felt an overwhelming urge to squash him. 

Yet, I realized I hadn’t really changed—I had only shifted perspective. I still eagerly explored new worlds, but through poems and prose rather than pastures and puddles. I’d grown to prefer the boom of a bass over that of a bullfrog, learned to coax a different kind of fire from wood, having developed a burn for writing rhymes and scrawling hypotheses. 

That night, I stayed up late with my journal and wrote about the spider I had decided not to kill. I had tolerated him just barely, only shrieking when he jumped—it helped to watch him decorate the corners of the tent with his delicate webs, knowing that he couldn’t start fires, either. When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.

This student is an excellent writer, which allows a simple story to be outstandingly compelling. The author articulates her points beautifully and creatively through her immense use of details and figurative language. Lines like “a rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees,” and “rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers,” create vivid images that draw the reader in. 

The flowery and descriptive prose also contributes to the nice juxtaposition between the old Clara and the new Clara. The latter half of the essay contrasts elements of nature with music and writing to demonstrate how natural these interests are for her now. This sentence perfectly encapsulates the contrast she is trying to build: “It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive.”

In addition to being well-written, this essay is thematically cohesive. It begins with the simple introduction “Fire!” and ends with the following image: “When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.” This full-circle approach leaves readers satisfied and impressed.

There is very little this essay should change, however one thing to be cautious about is having an essay that is overly-descriptive. We know from the essay that this student likes to read and write, and depending on other elements of her application, it might make total sense to have such a flowery and ornate writing style. However, your personal statement needs to reflect your voice as well as your personality. If you would never use language like this in conversation or your writing, don’t put it in your personal statement. Make sure there is a balance between eloquence and your personal voice.

Essay Example #6: Dedicating a Track

“Getting beat is one thing – it’s part of competing – but I want no part in losing.” Coach Rob Stark’s motto never fails to remind me of his encouragement on early-morning bus rides to track meets around the state. I’ve always appreciated the phrase, but an experience last June helped me understand its more profound, universal meaning.

Stark, as we affectionately call him, has coached track at my high school for 25 years. His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running. When I learned a neighboring high school had dedicated their track to a longtime coach, I felt that Stark deserved similar honors.

Our school district’s board of education indicated they would only dedicate our track to Stark if I could demonstrate that he was extraordinary. I took charge and mobilized my teammates to distribute petitions, reach out to alumni, and compile statistics on the many team and individual champions Stark had coached over the years. We received astounding support, collecting almost 3,000 signatures and pages of endorsements from across the community. With help from my teammates, I presented this evidence to the board.

They didn’t bite. 

Most members argued that dedicating the track was a low priority. Knowing that we had to act quickly to convince them of its importance, I called a team meeting where we drafted a rebuttal for the next board meeting. To my surprise, they chose me to deliver it. I was far from the best public speaker in the group, and I felt nervous about going before the unsympathetic board again. However, at that second meeting, I discovered that I enjoy articulating and arguing for something that I’m passionate about.

Public speaking resembles a cross country race. Walking to the starting line, you have to trust your training and quell your last minute doubts. When the gun fires, you can’t think too hard about anything; your performance has to be instinctual, natural, even relaxed. At the next board meeting, the podium was my starting line. As I walked up to it, familiar butterflies fluttered in my stomach. Instead of the track stretching out in front of me, I faced the vast audience of teachers, board members, and my teammates. I felt my adrenaline build, and reassured myself: I’ve put in the work, my argument is powerful and sound. As the board president told me to introduce myself, I heard, “runners set” in the back of my mind. She finished speaking, and Bang! The brief silence was the gunshot for me to begin. 

The next few minutes blurred together, but when the dust settled, I knew from the board members’ expressions and the audience’s thunderous approval that I had run quite a race. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough; the board voted down our proposal. I was disappointed, but proud of myself, my team, and our collaboration off the track. We stood up for a cause we believed in, and I overcame my worries about being a leader. Although I discovered that changing the status quo through an elected body can be a painstakingly difficult process and requires perseverance, I learned that I enjoy the challenges this effort offers. Last month, one of the school board members joked that I had become a “regular” – I now often show up to meetings to advocate for a variety of causes, including better environmental practices in cafeterias and safer equipment for athletes.

Just as Stark taught me, I worked passionately to achieve my goal. I may have been beaten when I appealed to the board, but I certainly didn’t lose, and that would have made Stark proud.

This essay effectively conveys this student’s compassion for others, initiative, and determination—all great qualities to exemplify in a personal statement!

Although they rely on telling us a lot of what happened up until the board meeting, the use of running a race (their passion) as a metaphor for public speaking provides a lot of insight into the fear that this student overcame to work towards something bigger than themself. Comparing a podium to the starting line, the audience to the track, and silence to the gunshot is a nice way of demonstrating this student’s passion for cross country running without making that the focus of the story.

The essay does a nice job of coming full circle at the end by explaining what the quote from the beginning meant to them after this experience. Without explicitly saying “ I now know that what Stark actually meant is…” they rely on the strength of their argument above to make it obvious to the reader what it means to get beat but not lose. 

One of the biggest areas of improvement in the intro, however, is how the essay tells us Stark’s impact rather than showing us: His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

The writer could’ve helped us feel a stronger emotional connection to Stark if they had included examples of Stark’s qualities, rather than explicitly stating them. For example, they could’ve written something like: Stark was the kind of person who would give you gas money if you told him your parents couldn’t afford to pick you up from practice. And he actually did that—several times. At track meets, alumni regularly would come talk to him and tell him how he’d changed their lives. Before Stark, I was ambivalent about running and was on the JV team, but his encouragement motivated me to run longer and harder and eventually make varsity. Because of him, I approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

Essay Example #7: Body Image and Eating Disorders

I press the “discover” button on my Instagram app, hoping to find enticing pictures to satisfy my boredom. Scrolling through, I see funny videos and mouth-watering pictures of food. However, one image stops me immediately. A fit teenage girl with a “perfect body” relaxes in a bikini on a beach. Beneath it, I see a slew of flattering comments. I shake with disapproval over the image’s unrealistic quality. However, part of me still wants to have a body like hers so that others will make similar comments to me.

I would like to resolve a silent issue that harms many teenagers and adults: negative self image and low self-esteem in a world where social media shapes how people view each other. When people see the façades others wear to create an “ideal” image, they can develop poor thought patterns rooted in negative self-talk. The constant comparisons to “perfect” others make people feel small. In this new digital age, it is hard to distinguish authentic from artificial representations.

When I was 11, I developed anorexia nervosa. Though I was already thin, I wanted to be skinny like the models that I saw on the magazine covers on the grocery store stands. Little did I know that those models probably also suffered from disorders, and that photoshop erased their flaws. I preferred being underweight to being healthy. No matter how little I ate or how thin I was, I always thought that I was too fat. I became obsessed with the number on the scale and would try to eat the least that I could without my parents urging me to take more. Fortunately, I stopped engaging in anorexic behaviors before middle school. However, my underlying mental habits did not change. The images that had provoked my disorder in the first place were still a constant presence in my life.

By age 15, I was in recovery from anorexia, but suffered from depression. While I used to only compare myself to models, the growth of social media meant I also compared myself to my friends and acquaintances. I felt left out when I saw my friends’ excitement about lake trips they had taken without me. As I scrolled past endless photos of my flawless, thin classmates with hundreds of likes and affirming comments, I felt my jealousy spiral. I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.” When that didn’t work, I started to feel too anxious to post anything at all.  

Body image insecurities and social media comparisons affect thousands of people – men, women, children, and adults – every day. I am lucky – after a few months of my destructive social media habits, I came across a video that pointed out the illusory nature of social media; many Instagram posts only show off good things while people hide their flaws. I began going to therapy, and recovered from my depression. To address the problem of self-image and social media, we can all focus on what matters on the inside and not what is on the surface. As an effort to become healthy internally, I started a club at my school to promote clean eating and radiating beauty from within. It has helped me grow in my confidence, and today I’m not afraid to show others my struggles by sharing my experience with eating disorders. Someday, I hope to make this club a national organization to help teenagers and adults across the country. I support the idea of body positivity and embracing difference, not “perfection.” After all, how can we be ourselves if we all look the same?

This essay covers the difficult topics of eating disorders and mental health. If you’re thinking about covering similar topics in your essay, we recommend reading our post Should You Talk About Mental Health in College Essays?

The short answer is that, yes, you can talk about mental health, but it can be risky. If you do go that route, it’s important to focus on what you learned from the experience.

The strength of this essay is the student’s vulnerability, in excerpts such as this: I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.”

The student goes on to share how they recovered from their depression through an eye-opening video and therapy sessions, and they’re now helping others find their self-worth as well. It’s great that this essay looks towards the future and shares the writer’s goals of making their club a national organization; we can see their ambition and compassion.

The main weakness of this essay is that it doesn’t focus enough on their recovery process, which is arguably the most important part. They could’ve told us more about the video they watched or the process of starting their club and the interactions they’ve had with other members. Especially when sharing such a vulnerable topic, there should be vulnerability in the recovery process too. That way, the reader can fully appreciate all that this student has overcome.

Essay Example #8: Becoming a Coach

”Advanced females ages 13 to 14 please proceed to staging with your coaches at this time.” Skittering around the room, eyes wide and pleading, I frantically explained my situation to nearby coaches. The seconds ticked away in my head; every polite refusal increased my desperation.

Despair weighed me down. I sank to my knees as a stream of competitors, coaches, and officials flowed around me. My dojang had no coach, and the tournament rules prohibited me from competing without one.

Although I wanted to remain strong, doubts began to cloud my mind. I could not help wondering: what was the point of perfecting my skills if I would never even compete? The other members of my team, who had found coaches minutes earlier, attempted to comfort me, but I barely heard their words. They couldn’t understand my despair at being left on the outside, and I never wanted them to understand.

Since my first lesson 12 years ago, the members of my dojang have become family. I have watched them grow up, finding my own happiness in theirs. Together, we have honed our kicks, blocks, and strikes. We have pushed one another to aim higher and become better martial artists. Although my dojang had searched for a reliable coach for years, we had not found one. When we attended competitions in the past, my teammates and I had always gotten lucky and found a sympathetic coach. Now, I knew this practice was unsustainable. It would devastate me to see the other members of my dojang in my situation, unable to compete and losing hope as a result. My dojang needed a coach, and I decided it was up to me to find one.

I first approached the adults in the dojang – both instructors and members’ parents. However, these attempts only reacquainted me with polite refusals. Everyone I asked told me they couldn’t devote multiple weekends per year to competitions. I soon realized that I would have become the coach myself.

At first, the inner workings of tournaments were a mystery to me. To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side. I learned everything from motivational strategies to technical, behind-the-scenes components of Taekwondo competitions. Though I emerged with new knowledge and confidence in my capabilities, others did not share this faith.

Parents threw me disbelieving looks when they learned that their children’s coach was only a child herself. My self-confidence was my armor, deflecting their surly glances. Every armor is penetrable, however, and as the relentless barrage of doubts pounded my resilience, it began to wear down. I grew unsure of my own abilities.

Despite the attack, I refused to give up. When I saw the shining eyes of the youngest students preparing for their first competition, I knew I couldn’t let them down. To quit would be to set them up to be barred from competing like I was. The knowledge that I could solve my dojang’s longtime problem motivated me to overcome my apprehension.

Now that my dojang flourishes at competitions, the attacks on me have weakened, but not ended. I may never win the approval of every parent; at times, I am still tormented by doubts, but I find solace in the fact that members of my dojang now only worry about competing to the best of their abilities.

Now, as I arrive at a tournament with my students, I close my eyes and remember the past. I visualize the frantic search for a coach and the chaos amongst my teammates as we competed with one another to find coaches before the staging calls for our respective divisions. I open my eyes to the exact opposite scene. Lacking a coach hurt my ability to compete, but I am proud to know that no member of my dojang will have to face that problem again.

This essay begins with an in-the-moment narrative that really illustrates the chaos of looking for a coach last-minute. We feel the writer’s emotions, particularly her dejectedness, at not being able to compete. Starting an essay in media res  is a great way to capture the attention of your readers and build anticipation for what comes next.

Through this essay, we can see how gutsy and determined the student is in deciding to become a coach themselves. She shows us these characteristics through their actions, rather than explicitly telling us: To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side.  Also, by discussing the opposition she faced and how it affected her, the student is open and vulnerable about the reality of the situation.

The essay comes full circle as the author recalls the frantic situations in seeking out a coach, but this is no longer a concern for them and their team. Overall, this essay is extremely effective in painting this student as mature, bold, and compassionate.

The biggest thing this essay needs to work on is showing not telling. Throughout the essay, the student tells us that she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence,” she “grew unsure of her own abilities,” and she “refused to give up”. What we really want to know is what this looks like.

Instead of saying she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence” she should have shared how she taught a new move to a fellow team-member without hesitation. Rather than telling us she “grew unsure of her own abilities” she should have shown what that looked like by including her internal dialogue and rhetorical questions that ran through her mind. She could have demonstrated what “refusing to give up” looks like by explaining how she kept learning coaching techniques on her own, turned to a mentor for advice, or devised a plan to win over the trust of parents. 

Essay Example #9: Eritrea

No one knows where Eritrea is.

On the first day of school, for the past nine years, I would pensively stand in front of a class, a teacher, a stranger  waiting for the inevitable question: Where are you from?

I smile politely, my dimples accentuating my ambiguous features. “Eritrea,” I answer promptly and proudly. But I  am always prepared. Before their expression can deepen into confusion, ready to ask “where is that,” I elaborate,  perhaps with a fleeting hint of exasperation, “East Africa, near Ethiopia.”

Sometimes, I single out the key-shaped hermit nation on a map, stunning teachers who have “never had a student  from there!” Grinning, I resist the urge to remark, “You didn’t even know it existed until two minutes ago!”

Eritrea is to the East of Ethiopia, its arid coastline clutches the lucrative Red Sea. Battle scars litter the ancient  streets – the colonial Italian architecture lathered with bullet holes, the mosques mangled with mortar shells.  Originally part of the world’s first Christian kingdom, Eritrea passed through the hands of colonial Italy, Britain, and  Ethiopia for over a century, until a bloody thirty year war of Independence liberated us.

But these are facts that anyone can know with a quick Google search. These are facts that I have memorised and compounded, first from my Grandmother and now from pristine books  borrowed from the library.

No historical narrative, however, can adequately capture what Eritrea is.  No one knows the aroma of bushels of potatoes, tomatoes, and garlic – still covered in dirt – that leads you to the open-air market. No one knows the poignant scent of spices, arranged in orange piles reminiscent of compacted  dunes.  No one knows how to haggle stubborn herders for sheep and roosters for Christmas celebrations as deliberately as my mother. No one can replicate the perfect balance of spices in dorho and tsebhi as well as my grandmother,  her gnarly hands stirring the pot with ancient precision (chastising my clumsy knife work with the potatoes).  It’s impossible to learn when the injera is ready – the exact moment you have to lift the lid of the mogogo. Do it too  early (or too late) and the flatbread becomes mangled and gross. It is a sixth sense passed through matriarchal  lineages.

There are no sources that catalogue the scent of incense that wafts through the sunlit porch on St. Michael’s; no  films that can capture the luminescence of hundreds of flaming bonfires that fluoresce the sidewalks on Kudus  Yohannes, as excited children chant Ge’ez proverbs whose origin has been lost to time.  You cannot learn the familiarity of walking beneath the towering Gothic figure of the Enda Mariam Cathedral, the  crowds undulating to the ringing of the archaic bells.  I have memorized the sound of the rains hounding the metal roof during kiremti , the heat of the sun pounding  against the Toyota’s window as we sped down towards Ghinda , the opulent brilliance of the stars twinkling in a  sky untainted by light pollution, the scent of warm rolls of bani wafting through the streets at precisely 6 o’clock each day…

I fill my flimsy sketchbook with pictures from my memory. My hand remembers the shapes of the hibiscus drifting  in the wind, the outline of my grandmother (affectionately nicknamed a’abaye ) leaning over the garden, the bizarre architecture of the Fiat Tagliero .  I dice the vegetables with movements handed down from generations. My nose remembers the scent of frying garlic, the sourness of the warm tayta , the sharpness of the mit’mt’a …

This knowledge is intrinsic.  “I am Eritrean,” I repeat. “I am proud.”  Within me is an encyclopedia of history, culture, and idealism.

Eritrea is the coffee made from scratch, the spices drying in the sun, the priests and nuns. Eritrea is wise, filled with ambition, and unseen potential.  Eritrea isn’t a place, it’s an identity.

This is an exceptional essay that provides a window into this student’s culture that really makes their love for their country and heritage leap off the page. The sheer level of details and sensory descriptors this student is able to fit in this space makes the essay stand out. From the smells, to the traditions, sounds, and sights, the author encapsulates all the glory of Eritrea for the reader. 

The vivid images this student is able to create for the reader, whether it is having the tedious conversation with every teacher or cooking in their grandmother’s kitchen, transports us into the story and makes us feel like we are there in the moment with the student. This is a prime example of an essay that shows , not tells.

Besides the amazing imagery, the use of shorter paragraphs also contributes to how engaging this essay is. Employing this tactic helps break up the text to make it more readable and it isolates ideas so they stick out more than if they were enveloped in a large paragraph.

Overall, this is a really strong essay that brings to life this student’s heritage through its use of vivid imagery. This essay exemplifies what it means to show not tell in your writing, and it is a great example of how you can write an intimate personal statement without making yourself the primary focus of your essay. 

There is very little this essay should improve upon, but one thing the student might consider would be to inject more personal reflection into their response. Although we can clearly take away their deep love and passion for their homeland and culture, the essay would be a bit more personal if they included the emotions and feelings they associate with the various aspects of Eritrea. For example, the way their heart swells with pride when their grandmother praises their ability to cook a flatbread or the feeling of serenity when they hear the bells ring out from the cathedral. Including personal details as well as sensory ones would create a wonderful balance of imagery and reflection.

Essay Example #10: Journaling

Flipping past dozens of colorful entries in my journal, I arrive at the final blank sheet. I press my pen lightly to the page, barely scratching its surface to create a series of loops stringing together into sentences. Emotions spill out, and with their release, I feel lightness in my chest. The stream of thoughts slows as I reach the bottom of the page, and I gently close the cover of the worn book: another journal finished.

I add the journal to the stack of eleven books on my nightstand. Struck by the bittersweet sensation of closing a chapter of my life, I grab the notebook at the bottom of the pile to reminisce.

“I want to make a flying mushen to fly in space and your in it” – October 2008

Pulling back the cover of my first Tinkerbell-themed diary, the prompt “My Hopes and Dreams” captures my attention. Though “machine” is misspelled in my scribbled response, I see the beginnings of my past obsession with outer space. At the age of five, I tore through novels about the solar system, experimented with rockets built from plastic straws, and rented Space Shuttle films from Blockbuster to satisfy my curiosities. While I chased down answers to questions as limitless as the universe, I fell in love with learning. Eight journals later, the same relentless curiosity brought me to an airplane descending on San Francisco Bay.

“I wish I had infinite sunsets” – July 2019

I reach for the charcoal notepad near the top of the pile and open to the first page: my flight to the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes. While I was excited to explore bioengineering, anxiety twisted in my stomach as I imagined my destination, unsure of whether I could overcome my shyness and connect with others.

With each new conversation, the sweat on my palms became less noticeable, and I met students from 23 different countries. Many of the moments where I challenged myself socially revolved around the third story deck of the Jerry house. A strange medley of English, Arabic, and Mandarin filled the summer air as my friends and I gathered there every evening, and dialogues at sunset soon became moments of bliss. In our conversations about cultural differences, the possibility of an afterlife, and the plausibility of far-fetched conspiracy theories, I learned to voice my opinion. As I was introduced to different viewpoints, these moments challenged my understanding of the world around me. In my final entries from California, I find excitement to learn from others and increased confidence, a tool that would later allow me to impact my community.

“The beauty in a tower of cans” – June 2020

Returning my gaze to the stack of journals, I stretch to take the floral-patterned book sitting on top. I flip through, eventually finding the beginnings of the organization I created during the outbreak of COVID-19. Since then, Door-to-Door Deliveries has woven its way through my entries and into reality, allowing me to aid high-risk populations through free grocery delivery.

With the confidence I gained the summer before, I took action when seeing others in need rather than letting my shyness hold me back. I reached out to local churches and senior centers to spread word of our services and interacted with customers through our website and social media pages. To further expand our impact, we held two food drives, and I mustered the courage to ask for donations door-to-door. In a tower of canned donations, I saw the value of reaching out to help others and realized my own potential to impact the world around me.

I delicately close the journal in my hands, smiling softly as the memories reappear, one after another. Reaching under my bed, I pull out a fresh notebook and open to its first sheet. I lightly press my pen to the page, “And so begins the next chapter…”

The structuring of this essay makes it easy and enjoyable to read. The student effectively organizes their various life experiences around their tower of journals, which centers the reader and makes the different stories easy to follow. Additionally, the student engages quotes from their journals—and unique formatting of the quotes—to signal that they are moving in time and show us which memory we should follow them to.

Thematically, the student uses the idea of shyness to connect the different memories they draw out of their journals. As the student describes their experiences overcoming shyness at the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes and Door-to-Door Deliveries, this essay can be read as an Overcoming Obstacles essay.

At the end of this essay, readers are fully convinced that this student is dedicated (they have committed to journaling every day), thoughtful (journaling is a thoughtful process and, in the essay, the student reflects thoughtfully on the past), and motivated (they flew across the country for a summer program and started a business). These are definitely qualities admissions officers are looking for in applicants!

Although this essay is already exceptionally strong as it’s written, the first journal entry feels out of place compared to the other two entries that discuss the author’s shyness and determination. It works well for the essay to have an entry from when the student was younger to add some humor (with misspelled words) and nostalgia, but if the student had either connected the quote they chose to the idea of overcoming a fear present in the other two anecdotes or if they had picked a different quote all together related to their shyness, it would have made the entire essay feel more cohesive.

Where to Get Your Personal Statement Edited

Do you want feedback on your personal statement? After rereading your essays countless times, it can be difficult to evaluate your writing objectively. That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays. 

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

Next Step: Supplemental Essays

Essay Guides for Each School

How to Write a Stellar Extracurricular Activity College Essay

4 Tips for Writing a Diversity College Essay

How to Write the “Why This College” Essay

Related CollegeVine Blog Posts

20 Successful College Essay Examples + Why They Worked (2024)

Today I'm going to show you 20 essays that worked that will help inspire you and start you on your way to writing your own successful essays.

In this post, I've included:

• Personal Statement examples
• Supplemental essay examples
• University of California essays
• Links to hundreds more essay examples

If you're looking for college essay examples, you've found the right place.

Let's get started.

Writing your college essays can be challenging.

And in 2024, with many schools dropping test scores from their application, your college essays are one of the most important parts of your application if you want to get accepted.

That means there's a whole lot more opportunity for students without the best SAT or ACT scores to boost their chances of admission by writing outstanding essays.

20 of My Favorite EssaysThatWorked

One of the best ways to write your own successful essays is to read and learn from past essays that worked.

Here's 20 of our favorite college essays examples. From Personal Statement examples to "Why this college?" supplements, find any type of essay you're looking for.

I've chosen these examples because they represent almost every type of essay you'll need to write.

Plus, they are all high-quality examples that have an authentic voice , one of the most important parts of a great essay.

Table of Contents

Personal statement essay examples.

• 1. The Itch
• 2. Paint Dance
• 3. Football Manager
• 4. Restaurant Job

Additional Personal Statement Examples

Additional Common App Essay Examples

University of California Essay Examples

• 5. Summer Counselor
• 6. Teaching Talent
• 7. Linguistics
• 8. Linguistics Society
• 9. New Perspectives

Supplemental Essay Examples

• 10. Fermat's Last Theorem
• 11. Bug Fixing
• 12. Why UPenn?
• 13. Story of My Name
• 14. Ideal College Community
• 15. Why Computer Science
• 16. Volunteering at Hospital
• 17. Why Carnegie Mellon
• 18. Why NYU?
• 19. Moving Places
• 20. Double Major

Ready to get inspired to write the next great admissions essays?

Let's jump right in.

Part 1: Personal Statements That Stand Out

Your Personal Statement essay is arguably the most important essay you'll write.

Since it's sent to every college you apply to, you need to carefully choose how you use your 650 words.

In this section, I'll show you several examples of successful Common App essays accepted into the most selective colleges.

Let’s dive right in.

Most students write their personal statement essay on their Common Application.

That's why it's called your Common App essay .

If you're having trouble starting your essay, be sure to check out some Common App inspiration .

Here are some of the best Common App essay examples that have gotten students into top colleges.

Below are some of our favorite personal statement essay examples from the Ivy League and other top-20 colleges.

College Essay Example #1: The Itch

This Common App personal statement was accepted into Stanford University .

Common App Prompt #7: Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you've already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design. (250-650 words)

Slowly, my passion emerged from pretense and envy into reality.

Why This Essay Works:

This essay is all based upon the metaphor of "the itch" representing a desire to understand the world. By using a central theme, such as a metaphor, you can create a thread of ideas that run throughout your essay. If you want to use a metaphor, make sure it clearly relates to the idea you're trying to express, rather than choosing one just because it is a creative or unique approach. In this case, there is perhaps no better metaphor than "the itch" which would capture their main idea, so it works well.

Instead of "telling" their ideas, this essay does a lot of fantastic "showing" through specific anecdotes. Sentences like "I learned to sing the blues before I knew the words..." capture a lot about the author's character and background without having to say it outright. By showing the reader, you allow them to draw their own conclusions rather than just having to accept what you're telling them. Using specific language also creates a more vibrant and interesting essay. Rather than saying "I loved learning as a kid," this student shows it using a concrete example: "my favorite book was an introduction to fulcrums".

Writing about other people in your essay can be a great way to tell things about yourself. Known as a literary "foil," by describing other people you can show your own values without stating them plainly. In this essay, the author shows their value (of being passionate about learning) by first recognizing that value in somebody else, "Kikki" in this case. By writing about people in your life, you can also create a sense of humility and humanity. Nobody is an "island," meaning that everyone is influenced by those around us. Showing how you draw inspiration, values, or lessons from others will show more about your character than simply telling admissions would.

In general, listing activities in your essay is a bad strategy, because it is repetitive of your activities list and comes across boring. However, this essay manages to list their activities in the 3rd-to-last paragraph by connecting them to a central idea: how their newfound passion for learning sparked all these new engagements. Listing activities can be okay, but only if they have a clear purpose in doing so. In this case, the purpose is to show how these activities are representative of their new passion for learning. But the purpose for listing activities could also be to show a specific value, provide examples for your idea, demonstrate your new perspective, etc.

College Essay Example #2: Paint Dance

This Common App personal statement was accepted into Williams College .

Common App Prompt #2: The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience? (250-650 words)

This student uses figurative language, particularly personification, which makes their writing more engaging. Rather simply telling a story plainly, implementing aspects of creative writing such as metaphors, personification, and symbolism, can engage the reader in your story.

This essay deals with their struggles—particularly in overcoming fear of failure while painting. By showcasing your challenges, you not only create a more relatable persona, but it makes your successes far more impactful. Everyone has struggles, and reflecting upon those challenges is what will help you convey self-growth.

What They Might Improve:

Although this student reflects on the concept of fear, they don't go much deeper than surface-level reflections. This essay does pose some interesting questions, like "Why was I afraid of something I had not yet encountered?" but these questions are cut short and not satisfyingly explored. Admissions officers are impressed with genuine, deep reflection. To get there, you need to push past surface-level takeaways and try taking your ideas always one step further.

"Fear" is a central theme of this essay, but the main idea of overcoming fear is repeated excessively, without adding new ideas. It is important that your essay "goes somewhere" and doesn't stay stuck at the surface of your ideas. You want to go deep into your ideas, which means avoiding repetition at all costs, and only referencing a previous idea if you're adding something new: a new perspective, context, nuance, broader application, etc.

College Essay Example #3: Football Manager

This Common App personal statement was accepted into the University of Pennsylvania .

Common App Prompt #1: Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. (250-650 words)

This essay has lighthearted moments in it, such as recognizing how being a football manager "does not sound glamorous" and how "we managers go by many names: watergirls..." Using moments of humor can be appropriate for contrasting with moments of serious reflection. Being lighthearted also shows a sense of personality and that you are able to take things with stride.

The reflections in this essay are far too generic overall and ultimately lack meaning because they are unspecific. Using buzzwords like "hard work" and "valuable lessons" comes off as unoriginal, so avoid using them at all costs. Your reflections need to be specific to you to be most meaningful. If you could (in theory) pluck out sentences from your essay and drop them into another student's essay, then chances are those sentences are not very insightful. Your ideas should be only have been able to been written by you: specific to your experiences, personal in nature, and show deep reflection.

Although this essay uses the topic of "being a football manager," by the end of the essay it isn't clear what that role even constitutes. Avoid over-relying on other people or other's ideas when writing your essay. That is, most of the reflections in this essay are based on what the author witnessed the football team doing, rather than what they experienced for themselves in their role. Focus on your own experiences first, and be as specific and tangible as possible when describing your ideas. Rather than saying "hard work," show that hard work through an anecdote.

More important than your stories is the "So what?" behind them. Avoid writing stories that don't have a clear purpose besides "setting the scene." Although most fiction writing describes people and places as exposition, for your essays you want to avoid that unless it specifically contributes to your main point. In this essay, the first two paragraphs are almost entirely unnecessary, as the point of them can be captured in one sentence: "I joined to be a football manager one summer." The details of how that happened aren't necessary because they aren't reflected upon.

In typical academic writing, we're taught to "tell them what you're going to tell them" before telling them. But for college essays, every word is highly valuable. Avoid prefacing your statements and preparing the reader for them. Instead of saying "XYZ would prove to be an unforgettable experience," just dive right into the experience itself. Think of admissions officers as "being in a rush," and give them what they want: your interesting ideas and experiences.

College Essay Example #4: Restaurant Job

This Common App personal statement is an accepted Tulane essay .

Common App Prompt #5: Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others. (250-650 words)

Piano Man plays on repeat in Used To Be’s Island Eatery, a high-volume bar and restaurant in the town of [Location] on the Jersey shore. Balding men and blonde women sway to the song as they sit on the wooden barstools, chatting and laughing about their lives.

Rather than "telling," it's important to always back up your points by "showing." This means using anecdotes, examples, and specific references to help the reader come to the same conclusion as you. Anybody can "tell" things, but by showing them you are giving proof, which makes your points more convincing and compelling.

An effective strategy for having interesting ideas is to reflect upon what you've learned as the result of an activity or experience. Lessons are important because they show self-growth, which admissions officers are looking for. It can also be a good idea to compare and contrast your lessons with other areas of your life. For example, how do your lessons from an extracurricular activity differ or translate over to your academics? Or vice versa?

One of the most common "mistakes" in essays is to not go deeper into your ideas. Most students gravitate towards surface-level ideas, which can be a good starting point, but should ideally be taken further. Admissions officers have read thousands of essays, so it's important that your ideas are unique, specific to you, and interesting. To get to those "deeper" ideas, keep asking yourself questions. For example, if you start with the idea of "positivity is key for this job," then keep asking yourself "Why?" Repeat that process many times and think critically, and eventually you'll come to more interesting and compelling ideas.

Avoid writing like fiction books, which have lots of descriptions that build a world or environment. Instead, only describe the things that matter to your main point. Since you have a limited number of words to use, it is vital that each sentence has a clear purpose. In this essay, many descriptions are ultimately unnecessary to their main point. Does it matter that "balding men and blonde women sway to the song as they sit on the wooden barstools"? No, and this only distracts from what is ultimately more valuable: your ideas and reflections.

Want to read more Common App essay examples?

If you're looking for more outstanding Common App essays, check out our Common App guide with examples.

For more, check out our list of top personal statement examples .

Part 2: UC Personal Insight Questions

Your UC essays are more important in 2022, now that UC's have dropped SAT and ACT scores from your application.

And if you're looking to write great UC essays, the best place to start is by learning from essays that worked in the past.

If you're looking for tons of UC essay examples, you're in the right place.

Every student applying to University of California must write four Personal Insight Questions. Each short essay must be fewer than 350 words each.

Check out our guides and examples for UCLA essays and UC Berkeley essays .

Within those posts, you'll be able to read dozens of the best UC Personal Insight Questions.

College Essay Example #5: Summer Counselor

This essay was accepted into UCLA .

UC PIQ #1: Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes or contributed to group efforts over time. (350 words max)

Each summer for the last eight years, I have attended a four-week residential summer camp on Orcas Island, first as a camper and more recently as a staff member. As a counselor-in- training last summer, my role shifted from one centred around my own enjoyment to one catering to the fulfilment of others. I welcomed this change of pace gladly, as the ability to positively impact the next generation of campers in a similar way to how my own counselors impacted mine thrilled me.

At first, I was unconvinced that I was being the role model I had envisaged of myself, as I was daunted by my new responsibility as staff. However, my uncertainty dissipated when one of the campers I had worked closely with in the sailing classes I taught wrote me a heartfelt letter towards the end of the session claiming that spending time with me had been one of the highlights of his summer. This small affirmation struck me deeply, and I was incentivised to continue putting all my energy into hopefully similarly affecting as many others as I could.

One of the most challenging parts of the summer was when I acted as an assistant counselor to a group of six 2nd-grade boys for a week, living with and supervising them for the whole time. I recall one particular moment when all six started yelling over the minor grievance of whose turn it was to take the dirty dishes back to the kitchen that meal. I tried diffusing the situation peacefully but, in the end, it required a firmer stance to get them to calm down. It was tough for me to take a harder line with them, but it was a valuable lesson that being assertive, yet still kind, is an effective method for future situations.

I cannot wait to apply for a full counselor position next summer, as each year I learn more from camp about what it is to be a compassionate leader, a convincing role model, and a team player.

• Specific Example : For UC essays, it's important to directly and clearly answer the prompt. This student does a good job of using a specific moment that clearly answers the prompt.
• Honest About Challenges : You don't have to present yourself as a perfect human being. Instead, by showing your flaws and challenges, it makes you more relatable. This student does that well by admitting: "I was unconvinced that I was being the role model I had envisaged of myself."

What They Might Change:

• Give More Details : In addition to stating "...it required a firmer stance to get them to calm down," it's better to show this. How did you act in that moment? How can you illustrate that assertiveness, without just stating it?

College Essay Example #6: Teaching Talent

UC PIQ #3: What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time? (350 words max)

My greatest talent is teaching. I love the opportunity to help others and seeing them develop and improve as a result of my input is always so rewarding.

My principle teaching outlet is as a diving coach. My favourite part about this job is that it is so dynamic, and each session is different. Some days the divers are in a great mood, dive impressively, and will jest with you nonstop which, being extroverted, fills me with energy and is a genuinely enjoyable evening. These sessions are so easy to coach as you can present yourself as a friend to the divers and deepen the trust that exists between you. However, other nights the kids are tired and unenthusiastic and coaching becomes far more challenging. I have to be stricter with them while simultaneously finding ways to motivate them, such as introducing little competitions or rewards for training hard. Over time, I have gotten much more confident at adjusting my coaching attitude towards the signals I pick up from the divers and it has made my job significantly easier.

This year, I have taken on the additional responsibility of leading the Learn to Dive squad, the largest group of divers at my club. At first, it was tough for me to adjust to my new role as it entailed more work with other coaches, helping them to develop their own coaching ability and monitoring the progression of their divers, as well as with kids of my own. However, I have grown to love this new element of my job, despite the challenge of instructing coaches older than myself, as it has forced me to develop my teaching ability in new ways. I have had to analyse my own teaching methods in order to explain them to other coaches and this both helped them to understand how to improve, but also allowed me to refine and develop how I coach my own divers.

Teaching is such an important part of my life because it allows me to learn and increase my own knowledge while making a positive impact on others.

College Essay Example #7: Linguistics

This Personal Insight Question essay was accepted into UCLA among others.

UC PIQ #6: Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom. (350 words max)

While reading Tolkien's The Silmarillion , I was struck by the elegance of the Elvish script he included. Upon further research, I discovered that he had created an entire language – Quenya – to accompany the Lord of the Rings trilogy. The idea that a language could be crafted and cultivated like a piece of art was both illuminating and inspiring to me. I had heard of Esperanto previously, but I believe Tolkien wasn’t trying to change the world with his creation. His goal was simply to create a language for the pleasure of it, and to enrich his storytelling and worldbuilding.

The revelation that language could be more than just a tool for communication triggered a love for linguistics that persists to this day. I voraciously tore through reference grammars and college textbooks alike, including An Introduction to Historical Linguistics by Lyle Campbell.

I even tried to emulate Tolkien and create a language of my own. Whether at school taking classes in Spanish, French, Italian, Latin, and Ancient Greek, or at home studying the phonology of Brazilian Portuguese on my own, languages excited and motivated me to learn more. I was awarded the Arthur Beatty award for outstanding linguist in the year as a result of my dedication to the language program at school.

Watching Game of Thrones reintroduced me to conlanging in the form of Dothraki and rekindled my interest, prompting me to write my IB extended essay on the historical etymology of Spanish. It was a challenging project, but I loved every minute of my research. While my friends were lamenting their boredom at poring over endless journals on topics they didn’t enjoy, I was studying a subject for which I am truly passionate. I hope to continue my study of language in university, and one of my goals in life is to be trilingual. I have no doubt that languages will continue to inspire me throughout life, and I hope to be able to share some of this passion with others along the way.

College Essay Example #8: Linguistics Society

Here's another UCLA essay that worked.

UC PIQ #7: What have you done to make your school or your community a better place? (350 words max)

Throughout my time at school, I have tried to share my passions and interests with others in various ways.

With the help of a friend, I reinvigorated and reinvented the school linguistics society, transforming it from a dull discussion of past exam questions to a seminar-style session where I have presented and analysed various interesting aspects of language. We have covered topics ranging from phonetics to historical sound change, and it has attracted a loyal troop of linguists who relish the weekly meetings almost as much as I do.

I have also channelled my passion for teaching into volunteering as a Spanish teacher at another local elementary school. Leading a class of thirty students can be a challenge, mainly as that many students are often hard to control. Nevertheless, I have planned and carried out lessons there each week for the last three years and have learnt a lot from it. I have found that as my confidence has grown, so the students have started to listen to and respect me more. They gain more from the lessons, as is evident from their progress at the end of each semester, and my enjoyment and fulfilment has risen. I am glad to have had a positive impact on their learning, and that I have been able to teach a subject that genuinely interests me.

Finally, I was appointed as a school prefect for senior year. In this role, I have been involved with a number of charity initiatives, such as organising bake sales and sponsored sporting events to raise money for the Make a Wish foundation, as well as various pastoral activities such as mentoring incoming freshman and guiding prospective parents around the campus. I love being a prefect as it allows me to give something back to the school that has been a huge part of my life for the last several years. I hope my legacy is that students feel more comfortable and confident in the school environment, and that they are inspired to become leaders as I have been to give back to the community in turn.

College Essay Example #9: New Perspectives

This essay was accepted into UC Berkeley .

Seconds after our teacher announced our project groups ​I heard the familiar, pitchy voice of the most irritating person in the class yell my name. Just like my worst nightmare, I had been put in a group to work with Eva; the annoying girl who had a weird obsession with horses. At that moment, I knew that it was going to be the longest project of my life.

Eva was extremely difficult to work with; she would always interrupt me, stubbornly stuck to what she wanted, and did not listen to a thing I said. Two weeks of tension and no progress flew by until one day during class, Eva went on another ramble about her horses.

Although I wasn't ready to hear her talk about horses again, I let her continue. What was another rant about horses turned into a conversation about the mental disorders Eva faced and how she relied on horse riding as therapy. After that conversation, our progress took a complete 180. I was eager to learn more, and we finished the project with more purpose and meaning. My perspective changed entirely.

I was moved by Eva’s passion for horse riding and encouraged her to start a club on campus where she could share her passion with others. Beyond this project, I helped Eva defend her riding center during city council meetings because it was on the verge of being shut down. In exchange, working with Eva taught me how to be more open-minded, more patient, more understanding; values of which I personally lacked my entire life. ​I began to cooperate with people with a more accepting and considerate mentality, understanding that people work in different ways.

I’m glad I chose to work through the project with Eva because I grew as a leader in a way that I would have never expected. I know I could have easily done the project by myself, but instead, I worked through our disagreements and bickering. S​haring this experience with Eva unearthed my ability to lead using patience and understanding, which are now essential assets to my leadership capabilities.

Part 3: Supplemental Essay Examples

Many top colleges require students to supplemental essays.

Each school may ask different prompts or none at all. And often your answers will be more specific and directly about the school.

In this section, you'll find supplemental essay examples from top universities. I've included a variety of prompts to cover common supplemental prompts, from "Why this college?" to major and area of study questions

Let's jump into the essays.

In addition to the your personal statement or statement of purpose (SOP), many colleges also require supplements.

These supplemental essays are often specific to the school and ask you to answer a specific question, such as "Why this college?" or "Why this major?"

In this section, you'll find supplemental essay examples from top universities. I've included a variety of prompts to cover common supplemental prompts that you may encounter.

College Essay Example #10: Fermat's Last Theorem

This supplemental essay was accepted into Cornell University .

Prompt: Cornell Engineering celebrates innovative problem solving that helps people, communities…the world. Consider your ideas and aspirations and describe how a Cornell Engineering education would allow you to leverage technological problem-solving to improve the world we live in. (250-650 words)

For "Why Us?" college essays, one of the most important parts is to show ways you imagine being involved on campus. This student does a great job of showing that they've done their research about Cornell, by connecting their passion for studying heart disease to specific initiatives already taking place on campus. Try researching what events, research, or programs are being conducted. By referencing those specifics, you can create convincing reasons of why this school is fit for you.

When discussing your intended area of study, one effective strategy is to identify a problem that you see. This problem can be in the field itself, your community, or the world. Then, you can connect this problem to yourself by showing how you'd want to help solve it. Don't try to tackle it entirely yourself, but show how you'd "take bites" out of this larger problem. It is also important that you identify potential solutions to the problem. You definitely don't (and shouldn't) have all the answers, but what do you see as potential steps for combatting the issue?

Using technical language, such as referencing "semi-elliptical curves" and "modular form" in this essay, will help show your in-depth knowledge and passion. Don't be afraid to use technical jargon like this, and don't worry if admissions officers may not know all the terms. As long as they have context and knowing the terminology isn't critical to understanding your point, including "nerdy" language will make your essay more engaging and demonstrate your intelligence.

If you have personal connections to the school you're applying to (such as legacy, family members who work there, students or faculty you're close with), it can be a good idea to reference those connections. Showing personal connections to the school makes admissions think, "They're already practically one of us!" Just make sure that these connections aren't contrived: only write about them if you have a clear purpose within your essay for introducing them. In this essay, the student references their brother who attended Cornell, but does so in a way that naturally ties into the rest of their reasons for "why Cornell."

College Essay Example #11: Bug Fixing

Here's another Cornell essay that worked .

Prompt: Describe two or three of your current intellectual interests and why they are exciting to you. Why will Cornell's College of Arts and Sciences be the right environment in which to pursue your interests? (650 words max)

College Essay Example #12: Why UPenn

If you enjoyed the UPenn Common App essay , here's a supplement that was also accepted into the University of Pennsylvania .

Prompt: How will you explore your intellectual and academic interests at the University of Pennsylvania? Please answer this question given the specific undergraduate school to which you are applying. (650 words max)

This essay does a great job of conveying a thoughtful and candid applicant. Their phrasing, although verbose in some places, comes across genuine because the author walks you through how they learned about the school, what they're looking for in a school, and why the school would offer those specific things. Phrases like "I didn't know if I could honestly see myself studying that" are conversational and natural-sounding, which help create a sincere tone.

By referencing specific programs, like "Penn in Washington" as well as various minors and concentrations, it is clear this student has done their research about the school. One of the most important aspects for a "Why Us" essay is to find specific and unique opportunities and name them in your essay. These could be things like specific professors and their work, campus and its location, interesting classes, unique internship/study-abroad/job programs, special events, and many more. The key is referencing things that are entirely unique to the school and not many other schools too. Avoid broad terms like "renowned faculty" or "interdisciplinary studies" because virtually all colleges offer things like this, and these are some of the most over-used and artificial reasons used in "Why Us" essays.

This essay has many moments of repetition that are unnecessary. In general, avoid repeating your ideas and when editing, ask yourself of each sentence: does this add something distinctly new and important to my essay? There are two common mistakes that often create repetition: prefacing your ideas and summarizing your ideas. Unlike academic writing, you don't need to "prepare" the reader for what you're going to say, and you don't need to conclude it with a summary. By doing so, you only create unnecessary repetition and take up words which could otherwise be used to include new specific details or ideas.

This essay spends nearly half of its words explaining the "interdisciplinary" opportunities at UPenn. However, this reason is quite superficial and not at all unique to Penn, as almost all colleges offer some sort of interdisciplinary study (i.e. combining your interests or studying multiple fields). Talking about "interdisciplinary study" is one of the most common reasons students use in their "Why Us" essay, and it often comes across as generic and unoriginal. Instead, look for offerings that no other (or very few other) schools provide. Narrow down your reasons "why" to make them more specific to the school, even if they are smaller scale. You can mention things like "interdisciplinary studies" or "diverse student body" briefly as a reason why, but don't make them one of your primary reasons why, unless you have something particularly unique about it.

College Essay Example #13: Story of My Name

This interesting essay is a Dartmouth essay that was admitted. Enjoy!

Prompt: The Hawaiian word mo’olelo is often translated as “story” but it can also refer to history, legend, genealogy, and tradition. Use one of these translations to introduce yourself. (250-300 words)

My name is Eoin Hourihane and my entire life, no one has ever pronounced my name correctly. My genealogy is Irish and my name is spelled this way because every male in the Hourihane family, for the past seven generations, has been named John. Since my older brother's name is John, my dad decided to honor his heritage, which gives me my dual citizenship, and name me the old Gaelic for John: Eoin.

I am the youngest of six which brings with it the never-ending comparisons, teasing, and constant bickering; add to that being small for my age until the age of twelve, and you can imagine my household. We have all been raised to be independent, to love nature (except Princess Ali), and to work our hardest at everything we do.

I have always loved math, playing hockey (ice or floor), matzah ball soup, the Beatles and Queen. As a kid, I was into Percy Jackson and a series of books with titles that all ended in “-ology,” the churros at the hockey rink in Jamestown, Bang party snaps, t-shirts by Tobuscus, and my two stuffed cats - one with a mortarboard, and the other with a Star of David on its front left paw. I have dreamt of being a biomedical engineer and creating a glass eye that can see, knowing the intricacies of the human body and its responses to environmental and internal stimuli, and performing surgery on the brain.

I have celebrated Chanukah and Christmas, honoring my Jewish mother and my Catholic father, but not truly affiliating with either. I am a liberal thinker who follows current events closely, and I am eager to explore the world outside of Buffalo, NY, participate in an academic environment that will challenge me, and live among a community of learners.

College Essay Example #14: Ideal College Community

This supplement was accepted into Columbia University .

Prompt: List a few words or phrases that describe your ideal college community. (150 words max)

Filled with activity around the clock. A place to come home to.

Trying to get past locked doors (literal and metaphorical).

Offering intellectual freedom and curiosity, without forcing specialization. Accommodating students who are unwilling to wait to make a difference. Willing to look critically at itself.

Socially conscious and politically active.

Never taking its eye off the national or global stage.

Buzzing with so much life it flows beyond the campus into the outside world.

So much life that sometimes it intimidates, that it yearns for more hours in the day. With too many options to choose from, Too much to do in four years.

Filled with clever eyes that see new ideas in the lessons of history.

Diverse of origin, of culture, of opinion, of religion, of personality, Diverse like an international center of thought and ideas and passions. An urban wonderland.

Supporting of extraordinary ambitions.

College Essay Example #15: Why Computer Science

This essay was accepted into Columbia University . To read more exceptional Columbia essays, be sure to check out our list for more Columbia essay examples .

Prompt: For applicants to Columbia College, please tell us what from your current and past experiences (either academic or personal) attracts you specifically to the field or fields of study that you noted in the Member Questions section. If you are currently undecided, please write about any field or fields in which you may have an interest at this time. (300 words max)

Studying computer science gives me the opportunity to be in a field that evolves so quickly I can always be on the forefront and do cutting-edge work. This summer at an ad-tech company, I moved the data science team’s analysis programs to a novel cluster-computing engine (Kubernetes), which can manage and distribute tasks across thousands of computers at once. Kubernetes is so new that barely any information has circulated about it. Because of this novelty, I was able to publish the first existing documentation of a data science pipeline in Kubernetes.

Computer science can also automate the manual drudgery of life. For example: to manage my clubs, I’ve written a program that checks for emails from members with excuses for missing meetings and automatically logs their absences.

Since computers have become the platform for every science, coding allows me to contribute to numerous fields. When I started at Einstein College of Medicine last year, I knew nothing about computational biology. Our project showed me that basic programming was all I needed to find fascinating results in the mostly unstudied mountains of genomic data.

As a person, I’m drawn to seemingly impossible challenges, in particular, the quest to teach machines and create mechanical consciousness. When I started taking online courses in AI, I became fascinated by the gradient descent method in machine learning. The method casts complex input data (e.g. photos) as thousand-dimensional surfaces and attempts to descend to the lowest points (minima) of those surfaces. It works best on data with underlying patterns, like pictures of human faces. This indicates that, in some way, the very nature of what a ‘face’ is, what unique structure is shared by nearly all faces, is found in the minima that AI models descend towards. My dream is to do foundational artificial intelligence research.

College Essay Example #16: Volunteering at Hospital

This essay was accepted into the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill . Want to read more UNC essay examples? Check out our list of the best UNC essays for this year.

Prompt: We hope you’ll share with us the activities that you’ve found especially worthwhile. We also hope you won’t feel compelled to tell us everything you’ve ever done or, worse yet, to do things that mean little to you just because you think we expect them.

Low-profile pursuits can be just as meaningful as ones that draw more attention, and fewer activities can be just as good, and sometimes even better, than more activities. For example, although starting a new club can be a great experience and helpful to others, so can caring for siblings, parents, or grandparents, working outside the home to put food on the table, or being a good and caring friend.

For these reasons, although we’re glad to receive complete résumés, we don’t require or encourage them. Instead, if you choose to submit something that goes beyond what you’re providing through your Common Application, keep it brief; focus less on including everything and more on choosing and explaining the things that have meant the most to you; and upload it here. (650 words max)

Everywhere I looked, I saw a sea of white coats and scrubs; there was constant beeping of the heart monitors, and the smell of disinfectant was strong.

There I stood - a diminutive, awkward high school kid - lacking in experience and confidence, ready to begin volunteering at Vidant Medical Center. Perhaps the very same qualities that made me nervous were what put patients at ease. Many patients, especially younger ones who were uncomfortable speaking with medical professionals, seemed much more comfortable in my presence. I have learned this quality is how I have been able to make a difference - by connecting with many of the younger patients who were nervous just like me. I’ll always remember the two eight-year-old brothers who were waiting as their father got an MRI.

In some ways, they were also like me - they loved sports, and had an interest in math and science. As they were waiting, we talked about everything, from who they thought would win the NBA championship title to me giving them tips on how to remember their multiplication tables. This interaction put them at ease and kept them from becoming restless.

Every time I step into the hospital, I strive to connect with people. I find that I am able to make a difference not strictly due to my tasks of escorting and discharging patients but because of connection and rapport that I establish with them.

My initial nervousness about whether or not I would be able to assist sick and injured patients soon gave way to relief and gratification as I learned that I was indeed able to help them, by bringing a smile to those I escort, discharge, or deliver meals . I’ve met people I might never have met otherwise, and we’ve shared our thoughts and talked about our experiences. I have come to look forward to their company, who, despite their conditions, are still able to smile every day and enjoy engaging in conversation with me - and vice versa.

Even when volunteering in areas of the hospital where I’m not in contact with patients as often, such as doing food preparation, I always make sure to visit the patients I escort after my shift, to talk to them and uplift their spirits. Volunteering at a hospital reminds me every day how fortunate I am to be in good health and of the rewards of helping those who aren’t. While my job as a volunteer at the hospital may not result in the discovery of a cure for cancer, I am happy to have had an opportunity to contribute to improving the experiences of the children and young adults coping with their hospital stays.

College Essay Example #17: Why Carnegie Mellon

This essay was accepted into Carnegie Mellon University . Want to read more essays that worked for CMU? Check out our list of Carnegie Mellon essays that worked .

Prompt: Why Carnegie Mellon? (650 words max)

With a strong background in computer science and communications, I hope to incorporate both into a future career of building data systems, conducting research, and consulting for organizations that serve underrepresented citizens.

Specific details and anecdotes will almost always be more compelling than less specific ones. In this essay, the student does a great job of including specific, "nerdy" details, such as "an association test between melanoma associated variants and survival outcome." These details demonstrate your in-depth knowledge of an area and make your essay more engaging.

This essay does a fantastic job of addressing real-world problems and emphasizing the "bigger picture" impact of their studies. Rather than just explaining what they want to study, this student explains how their education will help them have an impact on the world. Make an argument for what problems you see in the world and how you could potentially help solve them.

For "Why Us?" college essays, one of the most important parts is to reference unique aspects to the school. Almost all colleges have strong academics, great faculty, etc. So instead of referencing those points, reference what makes the school unique and different. In this essay, the student talks about "CMU's Technology Consulting in the Global Community" program, which is both highly specific to CMU and relevant to their own interests.

In general, you should avoid simply listing your achievements. This student has many remarkable activities and experiences, but it comes across less interesting because the first half of the essay is simply describing these accomplishments.

For "Why Us?" essays, it is also a good idea to reference the values the school represents. Each school has a different "culture" and type of student body, and admissions wants to know how you will fit in.

College Essay Example #18: Why NYU?

This essay was accepted into New York University . Writing your NYU essays doesn't have to be stressful if you get inspired by these examples.

Prompt: Why NYU?

We would like to know more about your interest in NYU. What motivated you to apply to NYU? Why have you applied or expressed interest in a particular campus, school, college, program, and or area of study? If you have applied to more than one, please also tell us why you are interested in these additional areas of study or campuses. We want to understand - Why NYU? (400 words max)

Living in a suburb my whole life, I've always felt as if I lived in a two-dimensional plane. I can go left, right, forward, and backward.

In a suburb, however, it is nearly impossible to get any meaningful altitude. Upon visiting New York City during the summer before my senior year, however, I found myself gazing up at the skyscrapers soaring high above me. I've always loved the views mountains and buildings; both from above and below. I also have spent time studying Mandarin, and Shanghai would offer a unique opportunity to further my linguistic studies while engaging in cultural immersion.

Beyond settings, NYU has the capacity and the resources available for me to engage in research in quantum computation. Playing video games got me into math and science beyond just playing with my calculator as a baby. There were practical applications of the numbers, and I wanted to understand how it all worked in order to get the best equipment and maximize ammo efficiency. I would watch "Mythbusters" and try to come up with my own hypothesis and see if it matched their conclusion.

In 8th grade, I figured out that I loved science along with math, but I didn't exactly know what science I loved. At the time I was in "physical science" and I did enjoy the class a lot, but I always thought of physics as "speed distance time" triangles which were no fun at all. I was convinced to take AP Physics in my junior year with my friends, and I loved it. It was almost every week we would learn something that completely altered my perception of the universe.

Once I learned about quantum physics and how it basically destroys our understanding of everything, I knew I wanted to pursue it further, and be at the forefront of quantum research.

At NYU, not only can I take courses to learn about the subject, but I can also participate in research through the "Center for Quantum Phenomena". Taking advanced courses and conducting research in a new setting, such as New York or Shanghai, can offer me a new perspective and a breath of fresh air. Conversely, I can help over NYU a new perspective on critical thinking and problem-solving. I chose to apply to NYU because NYU is fit for me, and I am fit for NYU.

College Essay Example #19: Moving Places

This essay was accepted into Pomona College . Check out this Pomona supplement that worked.

Prompt: For Pomona students, the College’s location in Southern California is integral in shaping their experience. Tell us about a location, real or fictional, that has shaped you in a meaningful way. (650 words max)

In supplements where they aren't specifically asking you to write about the school, it can still be a good idea to connect to the school subtly. In this prompt, Pomona isn't asking for "Why Pomona," but the author still manages to imply their interest in the school by referencing Pomona's location near the "San Gabriel Mountains" and "East L.A." This is a subtle way of making the essay feel targeted for Pomona specifically, rather than this essay being reused for other schools, without answering the prompt in a way they aren't looking for.

This essay starts off with a strong metaphor, comparing a "Swiss Army knife" to blankets, which implies the many uses of blankets. This is a captivating hook because it is creative and makes sense when thought about, but isn't something immediately obvious. Throughout the essay, "blankets" become a symbol of being able to adapt to new locations and environments. By using "blankets" as a common thread through the essay, it makes their writing about various locations still feel connected. Even though the prompt is asking for "a location," this manages to work because "blankets" becomes the unifying symbol that ties together multiple locations.

By describing the luxurious-sounding places they've traveled, this essay could come across as privileged. Although coming from privilege isn't necessarily a bad thing for applying to colleges, emphasizing that privilege (especially nonchalantly) could come across as "entitled." This essay doesn't necessarily come across that way, but over-emphasizing your privilege could come across as not recognizing that privilege or "out of touch" with others who may come from less privilege. Instead, it may be better to acknowledge your privilege and show gratitude—emphasizing how those opportunities have allowed you to make a positive impact on others.

College Essay Example #20: Double Major

Here's another liberal arts essay that worked, again for Pomona College .

Prompt: Most Pomona students enter the College undecided about a major, or they change their minds about their prospective major by the time they graduate. Certainly we aren’t going to hold you to any of the choices you’ve made above. But, in no more than 250 words, please tell us why you’ve chosen the academic programs (or undecided!) that you have listed. (250 words max)

I’m sitting backstage at my first international piano competition, anxiously awaiting my turn to perform. Unconsciously, I massage my right wrist, still recovering from a recent injury. The young man beside me feels my nervousness and starts a conversation.

As we whisper, I notice him rub his hands together uncomfortably. “What’s wrong?” I ask, quickly leaving my own wrist alone. He suppresses a nervous laugh, then quietly details the long and unsuccessful surgery that shattered his dream of becoming a professional musician. His hands were permanently damaged.

“Alessandra Fang,” the judges call. I stand up, walk to the main stage and look back to see him encourage me with a stiff, crooked thumbs-up. As my fingers dance on the keys, I observe the fragile muscles and ligaments under my skin.

I realize in that moment that it is not in a massive concert hall where I wanted to change people’s lives, but on a smaller stage: an operating room. As an artist who has had her share of painful, music-related injuries, my goal is to become a musician’s physician, and blend my greatest two passions so that I might bring relief to those around me, while understanding their musical and anatomical plight.

I wish to pursue both Biology and Music programs at Pomona College. I want to become a hand surgeon while still developing my artistry on the piano. After all, surgery also has its own cadence, complexity and composition.

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What You Can Learn From These Essays

With the number of applicants to top schools skyrocketing, it’s becoming more and more difficult for students to get accepted. To stand out from the crowd, you'll need to write interesting essays.

In this article and on our site, we've compiled hundreds of successful college essay examples so that you can see how other students got accepted and learn exactly what to do in order to help make your application a success too.

In this post you can learn from successful essays from Ivy League universities and other top schools like:

• University of Pennsylvania
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Let me know, which essay example was your favorite?

Meet the Author

Ryan Chiang

I'm Ryan Chiang and I created EssaysThatWorked.com - a website dedicated to helping students and their families apply to college with confidence & ease. We publish the best college admissions essays from successful applicants every year to inspire and teach future students.

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