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The self presentation theory and how to present your best self

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What does self presentation mean?

What are self presentation goals, individual differences and self presentation.

How can you make the most of the self presentation theory at work?  

We all want others to see us as confident, competent, and likeable — even if we don’t necessarily feel that way all the time. In fact, we make dozens of decisions every day — whether consciously or unconsciously — to get people to see us as we want to be seen. But is this kind of self presentation dishonest? Shouldn’t we just be ourselves?

Success requires interacting with other people. We can’t control the other side of those interactions. But we can think about how the other person might see us and make choices about what we want to convey. 

Self presentation is any behavior or action made with the intention to influence or change how other people see you. Anytime we're trying to get people to think of us a certain way, it's an act of self presentation. Generally speaking, we work to present ourselves as favorably as possible. What that means can vary depending on the situation and the other person.

Although at first glance this may seem disingenuous, we all engage in self-presentation. We want to make sure that we show up in a way that not only makes us look good, but makes us feel good about ourselves.

Early research on self presentation focused on narcissism and sociopathy, and how people might use the impression others have of them to manipulate others for their benefit. However, self presentation and manipulation are distinct. After all, managing the way others see us works for their benefit as well as ours.

Imagine, for example, a friend was complaining to you about   a tough time they were having at work . You may want to show up as a compassionate person. However, it also benefits your friend — they feel heard and able to express what is bothering them when you appear to be present, attentive, and considerate of their feelings. In this case, you’d be conscious of projecting a caring image, even if your mind was elsewhere, because you value the relationship and your friend’s experience.

To some extent, every aspect of our lives depends on successful self-presentation. We want our families to feel that we are worthy of attention and love. We present ourselves as studious and responsible to our teachers. We want to seem fun and interesting at a party, and confident at networking events. Even landing a job depends on you convincing the interviewer that you are the best person for the role.

There are three main reasons why people engage in self presentation:

Tangible or social benefits:

In order to achieve the results we want, it often requires that we behave a certain way. In other words, certain behaviors are desirable in certain situations. Matching our behavior to the circumstances can help us connect to others,   develop a sense of belonging , and attune to the needs and feelings of others.

Example:   Michelle is   a new manager . At her first leadership meeting, someone makes a joke that she doesn’t quite get. When everyone else laughs, she smiles, even though she’s not sure why.

By laughing along with the joke, Michelle is trying to fit in and appear “in the know.” Perhaps more importantly, she avoids feeling (or at least appearing) left out, humorless, or revealing that she didn’t get it — which may hurt her confidence and how she interacts with the group in the future.

To facilitate social interaction:

As mentioned, certain circumstances and roles call for certain behaviors. Imagine a defense attorney. Do you think of them a certain way? Do you have expectations for what they do — or don’t — do? If you saw them frantically searching for their car keys, would you feel confident with them defending your case?

If the answer is no, then you have a good idea of why self presentation is critical to social functioning. We’re surprised when people don’t present themselves in a way that we feel is consistent with the demands of their role. Having an understanding of what is expected of you — whether at home, work, or in relationships — may help you succeed by inspiring confidence in others.

Example:   Christopher has always been called a “know-it-all.” He reads frequently and across a variety of topics, but gets nervous and tends to talk over people. When attending a networking event, he is uncharacteristically quiet. Even though he would love to speak up, he’s afraid of being seen as someone who “dominates” the conversation. 

Identity Construction:

It’s not enough for us to declare who we are or what we want to be — we have to take actions consistent with that identity. In many cases, we also have to get others to buy into this image of ourselves as well. Whether it’s a personality trait or a promotion, it can be said that we’re not who   we   think we are, but who others see.

Example:   Jordan is interested in moving to a client-facing role. However, in their last performance review, their manager commented that Jordan seemed “more comfortable working independently.” 

Declaring themselves a “people person” won’t make Jordan’s manager see them any differently. In order to gain their manager’s confidence, Jordan will have to show up as someone who can comfortably engage with clients and thrive in their new role.

We may also use self presentation to reinforce a desired identity for ourselves. If we want to accomplish something, make a change, or   learn a new skill , making it public is a powerful strategy. There's a reason why people who share their goals are more likely to be successful. The positive pressure can help us stay accountable to our commitments in a way that would be hard to accomplish alone.

Example:   Fatima wants to run a 5K. She’s signed up for a couple before, but her perfectionist tendencies lead her to skip race day because she feels she hasn’t trained enough. However, when her friend asks her to run a 5K with her, she shows up without a second thought.

In Fatima’s case, the positive pressure — along with the desire to serve a more important value (friendship) — makes showing up easy.

Because we spend so much time with other people (and our success largely depends on what they think of us), we all curate our appearance in one way or another. However, we don’t all desire to have people see us in the same way or to achieve the same goals. Our experiences and outcomes may vary based on a variety of factors.

One important factor is our level of self-monitoring when we interact with others. Some people are particularly concerned about creating a good impression, while others are uninterested. This can vary not only in individuals, but by circumstances.   A person may feel very confident at work , but nervous about making a good impression on a first date.

Another factor is self-consciousness — that is, how aware people are of themselves in a given circumstance. People that score high on scales of public self-consciousness are aware of how they come across socially. This tends to make it easier for them to align their behavior with the perception that they want others to have of them.

Finally, it's not enough to simply want other people to see you differently. In order to successfully change how other people perceive you, need to have three main skills: 

1. Perception and empathy

Successful self-presentation depends on being able to correctly perceive   how people are feeling , what's important to them, and which traits you need to project in order to achieve your intended outcomes.

2. Motivation

If we don’t have a compelling reason to change the perception that others have of us, we are not likely to try to change our behavior. Your desire for a particular outcome, whether it's social or material, creates a sense of urgency.

3.  A matching skill set

You’ve got to be able to walk the talk. Your actions will convince others more than anything you say. In other words, you have to provide evidence that you are the person you say you are. You may run into challenges if you're trying to portray yourself as skilled in an area where you actually lack experience.

How can you make the most of the self presentation theory at work?

At its heart, self presentation requires a high-level of self awareness and empathy. In order to make sure that we're showing up as our best in every circumstance — and with each person — we have to be aware of our own motivation as well as what would make the biggest difference to the person in front of us.

Here are 6 strategies to learn to make the most of the self-presentation theory in your career:

1. Get feedback from people around you

Ask a trusted friend or mentor to share what you can improve. Asking for feedback about specific experiences, like a recent project or presentation, will make their suggestions more relevant and easier to implement.

2. Study people who have been successful in your role

Look at how they interact with other people. How do you perceive them? Have they had to cultivate particular skills or ways of interacting with others that may not have come easily to them?

3. Be yourself

Look for areas where you naturally excel and stand out. If you feel comfortable, confident, and happy, you’ll have an easier time projecting that to others. It’s much harder to present yourself as confident when you’re uncomfortable.

4. Be aware that you may mess up

As you work to master new skills and ways of interacting with others,   keep asking for feedback . Talk to your manager, team, or a trusted friend about how you came across. If you sense that you’ve missed the mark, address it candidly. People will understand, and you’ll learn more quickly.

Try saying, “I hope that didn’t come across as _______. I want you to know that…”

5. Work with a coach

Coaches are skilled in interpersonal communication and committed to your success. Roleplay conversations to see how they land, and practice what you’ll say and do in upcoming encounters. Over time, a coach will also begin to know you well enough to notice patterns and suggest areas for improvement.

6. The identity is in the details

Don’t forget about the other aspects of your presentation. Take a moment to visualize yourself being the way that you want to be seen. Are there certain details that would make you feel more like that person? Getting organized, refreshing your wardrobe, rewriting your resume, and even cleaning your home office can all serve as powerful affirmations of your next-level self.

Self presentation is defined as the way we try to control how others see us, but it’s just as much about how we see ourselves. It is a skill to achieve a level of comfort with who we are   and   feel confident to choose how we self-present. Consciously working to make sure others get to see the very best of you is a wonderful way to develop into the person you want to be.

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Allaya Cooks-Campbell

With over 15 years of content experience, Allaya Cooks Campbell has written for outlets such as ScaryMommy, HRzone, and HuffPost. She holds a B.A. in Psychology and is a certified yoga instructor as well as a certified Integrative Wellness & Life Coach. Allaya is passionate about whole-person wellness, yoga, and mental health.

Impression management: Developing your self-presentation skills

6 presentation skills and how to improve them, how to make a presentation interactive and exciting, how to give a good presentation that captivates any audience, how to not be nervous for a presentation — 13 tips that work (really), what is self-preservation 5 skills for achieving it, developing psychological flexibility, here and now: discover the benefits of being present, how self-knowledge builds success: self-awareness in the workplace, how self-compassion strengthens resilience, how self-efficacy can boost your personal success, what is self-awareness and how to develop it, what i didn't know before working with a coach: the power of reflection, self-advocacy: improve your life by speaking up, building resilience part 6: what is self-efficacy, why learning from failure is your key to success, stay connected with betterup, get our newsletter, event invites, plus product insights and research..

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What Is The Role Of Confidence In Successful Presentations

Table of contents.

So, you’ve crafted your slides and gathered all your information. Now it’s just time to prep and present your slides.

For many people, presenting and public speaking comes easy. But for many others, public speaking incites crippling fear and anxiety. Having self-confidence when you create your sales, marketing, academic, or personal presentations can have a major impact on the success of your presentation .

In this blog, we will look at the role of confidence in presentations and how you can prepare ahead of time so that your presentation is a success!

Why Is Confidence In Successful Presentations Important?

You’ve probably heard the saying “Confidence is key.” The same proverb can be used in the world of presentations and public speaking.

When you feel confident, the rest of the presentation is affected. From the engagement of your audience, to the motivation to act, to the overall success of your presentation. Additionally, confidence and strong self-esteem can allow you to focus on your audience, speak clearly, build trust, and make the sale.

Simply, confident speakers are able to get the key message across and maintain their audience’s attention throughout the entire presentation.

Can Your Audience Members Tell If You Are Nervous Or Confident?

The short answer? Absolutely.

Think about a speaker you’ve listened to recently. A nervous speaker will be fidgeting, looking down, stuttering, mumbling, or speaking too quickly. In short, a bad speaker can quickly lead to a bad presentation.

On the other hand, confident speakers will have good posture, maintain eye contact regularly, speak at a moderate pace , and deliver their main points clearly.

The goal of many presenters is to feel comfortable speaking in front of people. When you’re able to feel comfortable talking in a presentation, your audience will notice the difference!

How Can You Look Confident During Your Presentation

Great speaking skills aren’t just about your voice and the information you are presenting. Here are a few tips that can help you look confident while presenting.

Make Eye Contact

First and foremost, making eye contact is key. A confident person can maintain eye contact while speaking with someone. The same goes for public speakers.

T his small step can not only help you look more confident , but it can also engage your audience. Additionally, eye contact builds trust with your audience.

If you want your audience to buy into what you are saying, you have to make a connection and build trust with them. Eye contact is one of the easiest and best ways to connect with an audience.

Keep Body Language Open

Body language is a powerful communicator, often revealing more than words alone. If feeling confident while speaking is your goal, then you have to be open. No arm-crossing or defensive stances – we’re going for welcoming vibes.

Stand tall, connect with your audience, and let your body speak the language of confidence . It’s like a silent symphony that your audience won’t be able to resist.

Keeping your posture open and welcoming can significantly impact how your audience perceives your confidence.

Maintain good posture, stand tall, and avoid crossing your arms, which may signal defensiveness. These subtle gestures create an inviting atmosphere, allowing your audience to feel more engaged and receptive.

Use Gestures

Another important aspect of confidence in public speaking is gestures. Effective hand gestures can enhance your message and boost your confidence.

S trategic and purposeful gestures can emphasize key points, add dynamism to your presentation , and boost your self-assurance. Whether the gestures are for comedic effect or to key in on a point, a well-timed gesture can stick out in your audience’s mind.

However, be mindful of excessive or erratic movements, as they may distract from your message. Additionally, avoid fidgeting as this will reveal your nerves to your audience!

Instead, practice using gestures that feel natural to you, ensuring they complement and add interest rather than overshadow your verbal communication.

How Can You Sound Confident During Your Presentation

Your voice is the conductor of this confidence symphony. Speak clearly and let your words create a beautifully composed melody. Vary your pitch, modulate your tone – become the maestro of your vocal performance!

Practice makes perfect, so hit those high and low notes until you’re ready to take center stage with a voice that commands attention.

Sounding confident is as important as looking confident. To project confidence through your voice:

Speak Clearly and Slowly: Enunciate your words clearly, and maintain a moderate pace. Rushed speech can make you sound anxious, while clear and deliberate speech exudes confidence.

Modulate Your Voice: Vary your pitch and tone to avoid monotony. A well-modulated voice captures attention and conveys authority. Practice speaking with different intonations to find a style that suits your presentation.

Practice, Practice, Practice: Familiarity breeds confidence. Rehearse your presentation multiple times, focusing on your tone, pacing, and emphasis. The more comfortable you are with your material, the more confidently you’ll deliver it.

Avoid Using Filler Words: Filler words, such as “um,” “uh,” and “like,” can undermine your credibility and make you appear less confident. While it’s natural to use these words occasionally, excessive use suggests uncertainty

Pause & Collect Yourself : Embrace moments of silence instead of relying on filler words. Pauses can emphasize your points and provide you with a moment to gather your thoughts.

How Can You Feel More Confident During Your Presentation

In general, the more confidence you have, the more you will engage your audience. Whether you’re presenting in front of a small group or an auditorium full of people, feeling confident is the most important aspect of maintaining a fully engaged audience.

Here are a few tips that can help you as you present your slide deck.

Thrive On Engagement

While practicing is an essential step in the process of preparing for a speaking engagement, sometimes you have to take what your audience gives you.

When you’re audience is engaged, interact with them! Maybe talk to an audience member or two, make a few observations, take questions, and go with the flow! Not only can this capture your audience’s attention, it can also help you feel more comfortable as you present.

Run With The Momentum

Going off of the above point, you should also run with momentum. If an audience laughs at your jokes or seems particularly interested in one of the important points in your presentation, take it and run with it.

Don’t be afraid to go a bit off-script if your audience is up for it! In fact, doing so could actually be even more successful!

Is It Possible To Improve Your Confidence While Public Speaking?

If your next presentation is leaving you with a dry mouth, anxiety, and nightmares, fear not! Here are some things that you can do to improve your confidence to make the best presentation possible!

Practice & Preparation

A good speaker knows the power of practice. If you have a presentation coming up, prepare by reading literature aloud, going through the presentation a number of times, and practicing deep breathing techniques or taking deep breaths before the presentation to get more oxygen while you speak.

Start In Front Of Smaller Audiences.

Additionally, if you’re relatively new to public speaking, you might be nervous to even speak in front of one person. To build up your confidence, start practicing your presentation in front of small groups and work your way up to a larger audience.

Take Tips From Presentation Experts

Just as many people learn skills through watching and learning from experts, the same can be done with presenters.

If you’re trying to boost your self-confidence and become a better presenter, start by watching some other presentations. Sift through some popular TED Talks, sermons, keynote addresses, or other presentations you might find on the internet.

Make note of what the speaker did well or what took away from the presentation. This can help you focus on how you can become a better speaker.

Arm Yourself With Killer Slides

One other support piece you can pull from is your slide deck. Informative, engaging, and clear slides can make a world of difference. However, your slides mustn’t take away from your information or become too distracting to the audience.

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Confidence Builds Trust And Makes Your Presentation More Impactful

In summary, confidence has a key role in the success of your presentation. While most people might not consider themselves great public speakers, there are many tips and strategies that you can use to help you crush your next presentation .

You Work On Your Confidence, We Will Work On Your Presentation Design

Our team of designers has decades of experience building presentation decks that cater to your target audience and encourage participation to the very last slide.

Want to learn more about our Powerpoint Design Services ? You can either visit our presentation design portfolio or Contact us today to see how the geeks can help you!

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The Art of Self Presentation: Impression Management and Self-Identity

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Have you ever considered how the simple act of introducing yourself at a party, or the way you dress for a job interview, can be a strategic move? Behind these seemingly mundane actions lies a complex process we all engage in, known as self-presentation . Self-presentation, or impression management , is not just about vanity or a superficial attempt to be liked. It’s a fundamental aspect of human interaction, deeply rooted in psychology and sociology. Let’s dive into the nuances of how we present ourselves to the world and the motives that drive us to manage impressions.

Understanding self-presentation

Self-presentation is the process by which individuals attempt to control the impressions others form of them. It’s a performance where the stage is everyday life, and the audience is the people around us. We employ a variety of verbal, nonverbal, and stylistic cues to craft an image that serves our goals. Whether it’s the confidence in our voice during a presentation, the firmness of our handshake, or the meticulous choice of attire for an event, each element is a deliberate choice in the art of self-presentation.

Verbal cues

• Language and tone: The words we choose and the tone we adopt can convey authority, warmth, intelligence, or humility.
• Storytelling: Narratives about our experiences and achievements can shape how others see us.

Non verbal cues

• Body language: Posture, gestures, and facial expressions communicate emotions and attitudes without words.
• Eye contact: Maintaining or avoiding eye contact can signal confidence, respect, or evasion.

Stylistic cues

• Dress and grooming: How we dress and groom ourselves can signal our social status, professionalism, or group affiliations.
• Accessories and props: Objects we carry or display can be symbols of our identity or status.

The motives behind self-presentation

Why do we go to such lengths to manage how others perceive us? There are two primary drivers: instrumental and expressive motives . Instrumental motives are goal-directed. We present ourselves in a certain way to achieve specific outcomes, such as gaining favor, avoiding conflict, or securing a promotion. On the other hand, expressive motives are about self-expression and identity. We manage impressions to convey who we believe we are and to maintain a consistent self-image.

Instrumental motives

• Influence: We may present ourselves as competent or likable to sway others to our point of view or to get them to do something for us.
• Obtaining rewards: A well-managed impression can lead to tangible benefits like job offers, social connections, or recognition.

Expressive motives

• Self-identity: Through self-presentation, we affirm and communicate our values, beliefs, and unique personality traits.
• Group identity: We may also use self-presentation to identify with a particular social group, aligning ourselves with its norms and values.

Maintaining consistency in self-presentation

The key to effective self-presentation is consistency. Inconsistencies between our words and actions can lead to a loss of credibility and trust. For instance, if you profess a commitment to environmental causes but are seen littering, this discrepancy can tarnish your image. Such inconsistencies can also lead to cognitive dissonance , a psychological state where we experience discomfort due to conflicting beliefs or behaviors. To resolve this discomfort, we may adjust our attitudes or behaviors to align with the image we wish to project.

Aligning actions and words

• Consistent messaging: Ensure that what you say matches what you do. This builds trust and authenticity in your image.
• Behavioral adjustments: Sometimes, to maintain consistency in our self-presentation, we may change our behavior to align with the impressions we’ve created.

Dealing with cognitive dissonance

• Awareness: Recognize when your actions do not match your expressed attitudes or the identity you’re trying to convey.
• Adjustment: Alter your behaviors or attitudes to reduce the dissonance and create a coherent self-image.

Self-presentation in the digital age

As we navigate the digital world, self-presentation has taken on new dimensions. Social media platforms have become stages where we curate images of ourselves through photos, status updates, and interactions. The line between public and private selves blurs as we manage impressions for a potentially global audience. This digital self-presentation comes with its own challenges and opportunities for expression and influence.

Creating a digital identity

• Curated content: We carefully select which parts of our lives to share online, often emphasizing positive and flattering aspects to craft an idealized self-image.
• Feedback loops: Likes, comments, and shares provide immediate feedback, influencing future self-presentation choices.

Navigating the pitfalls

• Authenticity vs. curation: Striking a balance between presenting an ideal self and remaining authentic is a challenge in the digital world.
• Privacy concerns: Deciding how much personal information to share online is a critical aspect of digital self-presentation.

Self-presentation is a crucial part of human interaction, deeply intertwined with our social world and our sense of self. Whether we’re aware of it or not, we’re all engaged in impression management, both offline and online. By understanding the motives and methods behind self-presentation, we can navigate social situations more effectively and authentically. It’s a delicate dance of influence and expression, where the ultimate goal is to present a self that aligns with our identity and aspirations.

What do you think? How do you manage your self-presentation in different social settings? Have you ever experienced cognitive dissonance due to misalignment between your actions and the image you wanted to project?

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Social Psychology

1 Definition, Concept and Research Methods in Social Psychology

• Definition and Concept of Social Psychology
• Research Methods in Social Psychology
• Experimental Methods
• Non-Experimental Methods
• Other Research Methods
• Research Ethics

2 Historical Perspective of Social Psychology, Social Psychology and Other Related Disciplines

• Historical Perspective
• Landmarks in the History of Social Psychology
• Social Psychology and Other Related Disciplines
• Significance of Social Psychology Today

3 Social and Person Perception – Definition, Description and Functional Factors

• Social Cognition – Description and Nature
• Social Perception – Definition
• Understanding Temporary States
• Understanding of the Most Permanent or Lasting Characteristics – Attributions
• Impression Formation
• Implicit Personality Theory
• Person Perception
• Social Categorisation

4 Cognitive Basis and Dynamics of Social Perception and Person Perception

• Cognitive and Motivational Basis of Social and Person Perception
• Bias in Attribution
• Role of Emotions and Motivation in Information Processing
• Motivated Person Perception
• Effect of Cognitive and Emotional States

5 Definition, Concept, Description, Characteristic of Attitude

• Defining Attitudes
• Attitudes, Values, and Beliefs
• Formation of Attitudes
• Functions of Attitudes

6 Components of Attitude

• ABCs of Attitudes
• Properties of Attitudes

7 Predicting Behaviour from Attitude

• Relationship between Attitude and Behaviour
• Attitudes Predict Behaviour
• Attitudes Determine Behaviour?
• Behaviour Determine Attitudes

8 Effecting Attitudinal Change and Cognitive Dissonance Theory, Compliance of Self-perception Theory, Self-affirmation

• Self Presentation
• Cognitive Dissonance
• Self Perception
• Self Affirmation

9 Introduction to Groups- Definition, Characteristics and Types of Groups

• Groups-Definition Meaning and Concepts
• Characteristics Features of Group
• Types of Group
• The Role of Groups

10 Group Process- Social Facilitation, Social Loafing, Group Interaction, Group Polarization and Group Mind

• Social Facilitation
• Social Loafing
• Group Interaction
• Group Polarization

11 Group Behaviour- Influence of Norms, Status and Roles; Introduction to Crowd Behavioural Theory, Crowd Psychology (Classical and Convergence Theories)

• Human Behaviour in Groups
• Influence of Norms Status and Roles
• Crowd Behavioural Theory
• Crowd Psychology

12 Crowd Psychology- Collective Consciousness and Collective Hysteria

• Crowd: Definition and Characteristics
• Crowd Psychology: Definition and Characteristics
• Collective Behaviour
• Collective Hysteria

13 Definition of Norms, Social Norms, Need and Characteristics Features of Norms

• Meaning of Norms
• Types of Norms
• Violation of Social Norms
• Need and Importance of Social Norms
• Characteristic Features of Social Norms

14 Norm Formation, Factors Influencing Norms, Enforcement of Norms, Norm Formation and Social Conformity

• Norm Formation
• Factors Influencing Norm Formation
• Enforcement of Norms
• Social Conformity

15 Autokinetic Experiment in Norm Formation

• Autokinetic Effect
• Sherif’s Experiment
• Salient Features of Sherif’s Autokinetic Experiments
• Critical Appraisal
• Related Latest Research on Norm Formation

16 Norms and Conformity- Asch’s Line of Length Experiments

• Solomon E. Asch – A Leading Social Psychologist
• Line and Length Experiments
• Alternatives Available with Probable Consequences
• Explanation of the Yielding Behaviour
• Variants in Asch’s Experiments
• Salient Features
• Related Research on Asch’s Findings

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Personal presentation is how you portray and present yourself to other people. It includes how you look, what you say, and what you do, and is all about marketing YOU, the brand that is you.

What others see and hear from you will influence their opinion of you. Good personal presentation is therefore about always showing yourself in the best possible light.

We all know that you only get one chance to make a first impression. Most of us are probably also aware that it takes quite a long time to undo that first impression—and that if it is negative, we may never get the chance to do so. This page explains some of the skills involved in making a good first impression—and then continuing to impress over time.

Understanding Personal Presentation

Personal presentation is about you and how you present yourself to others.

This includes both in everyday situations and when under pressure, for example, at job interviews. It is best thought of as a form of communication , because it always involves at least two people—the person presenting themselves (you) and the person seeing and hearing you.

Personal presentation covers what other people both see and hear. It includes how you look, what you say, and what you do. It therefore requires a wide range of skills, from improving your personal appearance to your communication skills.

However, all these aspects start from one place: you.

To present yourself well and confidently, you need to believe in yourself—or at least, be able to act as if you do.

Perception is Truth

People who present themselves as confident will be perceived as such by others.

There is also plenty of evidence that once we start acting as if we are confident, we generally feel more confident too.

Confidence—but not arrogance—is a very attractive trait. Having a justified belief in yourself and your abilities helps other people to be confident in you too.

Good personal presentation therefore requires good self-esteem and self-confidence. It means that you have to learn about yourself, and understand and accept who you are, both your positives and your negatives, and be comfortable with yourself. This does not, however, mean that you believe that there is nothing that you can improve—but that you are confident in your ability to achieve, and know how to overcome your flaws.

Paradoxically, therefore, personal presentation is actually not about being self-conscious or overly concerned with what others think about you. People who present themselves well generally do so because they believe in themselves, rather than because they are worried about what other people think. These concepts are closely related to Personal Empowerment .

A complete picture—and a cycle

Personal presentation is about conveying appropriate signals for the situation and for the other individuals involved.

People who lack self-esteem and confidence may fail to convey their message effectively or fully utilise their skills and abilities because of the way they present themselves. However, by improving your communication skills and reducing barriers to understanding, you may also improve your self-esteem and confidence.

Our pages: Communication Skills , Barriers to Communication and Improving Self-Esteem provide more information.

Areas of Personal Presentation

Improving personal presentation therefore requires a look at several different areas.

These include:

Self-esteem and self-confidence – how you feel about yourself and your abilities

Personal appearance – how you look, and how other people see you

Non-verbal communication – your body language, voice and facial expressions

Verbal communication – how you speak and use your words to make an impression

Behaviour – how you behave more generally, including politeness.

Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence

Self-esteem and self-confidence are closely related, but not quite the same thing.

Self-esteem is how you see and value yourself .

Self-confidence is believing in or having faith in your ability , rather than yourself as a person.

Neither self-esteem nor self-confidence are static. They vary as a result of numerous factors, including different situations and the presence of different people, personal stress levels and the level of change. Low levels of self-esteem are often associated with low levels of confidence, but those with good self-esteem can also suffer from low confidence.

To improve your self-esteem and self-confidence, spend time thinking about how you value yourself. Remind yourself of what is good about you, and learn to manage the highs and lows of self-esteem. In particular, try to avoid being affected too much by others’ opinions about you.

It is also worth practising coming across as confident even when you are not, because those who appear confident are not only perceived as confident, but often actually become more confident.

See our pages on Improving Self-Esteem and Building Confidence for more discussion, tips and advice on this area.

Personal Appearance and Non-Verbal Communication

Personal appearance is the way that you dress and take care of your general appearance.

Much as we may hate the idea that appearances matter, this is an important factor in personal presentation. Whether you like it or not, others will make judgements about you based on how you look, which includes how you dress and your accessories. It is therefore worth taking time to think about what messages you are sending to others in the way that you dress.

Case study: The ‘gravitas bag’

Louise was a young graduate, working in a government department. She had been working there about two years, and had just started working for a new boss, a woman just a few years older than her.

One day, on the way to an important meeting, Louise’s carrier bag, in which she was carrying her notebook and pens, broke on the bus. Her boss laughed, but said to her, carefully,

“ You know, you ought to think a bit about how what you wear and carry affects what people think about you. I’m not sure it gives quite the right impression to wander into a meeting with pens and books spilling out of a split carrier bag—that’s why I keep a briefcase in my cupboard for the days when I’ve worn a backpack into work. This may sound stupid, but I always feel that people may be judging me because I’m both female and quite young. I don’t want to give them any reason to doubt my professionalism. ”

Neither did Louise. The next weekend, she went shopping. On the Monday, she proudly showed her boss a new handbag and matching briefcase—her ‘gravitas bag’, as she described it.

Your personal appearance is closely related to the body language, gestures and other non-verbal messages that you use.

Many people are unaware of how they are affected by body language, and also how they are affecting others. By being aware of positive and negative non-verbal signals, you can improve your image and the way people perceive you.

There is more about these ideas in our pages on Personal Appearance and Non-Verbal Communication , including specific pages on Body Language and Face and Voice .

Verbal Communication and Effective Speaking

What you say and how you say it are both important aspects of how you are perceived by others.

Verbal communication is all about the words that you choose. Those who are good at verbal communication understand the impact of their particular choice of words and choose the right words for the situation and the audience. They are skilled at getting their message across to others and ensuring that it has been received.

See our pages on Verbal Communication for more.

Good communicators also use their voices effectively to convey their feelings, and to influence their audience. Your voice says a lot about you and learning how to use it more effectively has many benefits. There are a number of aspects to your voice, including accent, tone, pitch and volume. Some of these are easier to change than others, but it is worth thinking about how each of these affects your audience, so that you can learn to use your voice more effectively. 

See our pages Effective Speaking and Non-Verbal Communication: Face and Voice to learn more.

How you behave, and not just how you speak, will leave a strong impression on others.

For example, if you are habitually late, you may give other people the impression that you do not value their time. Good time management skills can therefore be helpful in giving the right impression—as well as enabling you to work more efficiently.

See our pages Time Management and Avoiding Distractions for some ideas of to improve your time management skills.

More crucially, your general politeness—to everyone, and not just people who ‘matter’—will create an important impression about how you value others.  This is an essential element of personal presentation. It pays to consider your manners.

See our page How to be Polite for more.

Further Reading from Skills You Need

Our Communication Skills eBooks

Learn more about the key communication skills you need to be a more effective communicator.

Our eBooks are ideal for anyone who wants to learn about or develop their interpersonal skills and are full of easy-to-follow, practical information.

And finally…

It is almost certainly impossible to overestimate the importance of personal presentation, especially in creating a good first impression, but also in giving a longer-term view of yourself.

Improving some fairly basic communication skills and increasing your self-awareness will improve your ability to present yourself well. Knowing that you are more likely to say and do the right things, and look the part, will help to increase your confidence. All these will, in turn, help to ensure that you give the right impression.

This is especially true in more formal situations, culminating in improved communication and therefore better understanding.

Continue to: Personal Appearance Self-Presentation in Presentations

See also: Effective Ways to Present Yourself Well Building a Personal Brand That Will Boost Your Career 8 Ways to Effectively Market Yourself as a Professional

Impression Management: Erving Goffman Theory

Charlotte Nickerson

Research Assistant at Harvard University

Undergraduate at Harvard University

Charlotte Nickerson is a student at Harvard University obsessed with the intersection of mental health, productivity, and design.

Learn about our Editorial Process

Saul McLeod, PhD

Editor-in-Chief for Simply Psychology

BSc (Hons) Psychology, MRes, PhD, University of Manchester

Saul McLeod, PhD., is a qualified psychology teacher with over 18 years of experience in further and higher education. He has been published in peer-reviewed journals, including the Journal of Clinical Psychology.

Olivia Guy-Evans, MSc

Associate Editor for Simply Psychology

BSc (Hons) Psychology, MSc Psychology of Education

Olivia Guy-Evans is a writer and associate editor for Simply Psychology. She has previously worked in healthcare and educational sectors.

On This Page:

• Impression management refers to the goal-directed conscious or unconscious attempt to influence the perceptions of other people about a person, object, or event by regulating and controlling information in social interaction.
• Generally, people undertake impression management to achieve goals that require they have a desired public image. This activity is called self-presentation.
• In sociology and social psychology, self-presentation is the conscious or unconscious process through which people try to control the impressions other people form of them.
• The goal is for one to present themselves the way in which they would like to be thought of by the individual or group they are interacting with. This form of management generally applies to the first impression.
• Erving Goffman popularized the concept of perception management in his book, The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life , where he argues that impression management not only influences how one is treated by other people but is an essential part of social interaction.

Impression Management in Sociology

Impression management, also known as self-presentation, refers to the ways that people attempt to control how they are perceived by others (Goffman, 1959).

By conveying particular impressions about their abilities, attitudes, motives, status, emotional reactions, and other characteristics, people can influence others to respond to them in desirable ways.

Impression management is a common way for people to influence one another in order to obtain various goals.

While earlier theorists (e.g., Burke, 1950; Hart & Burk, 1972) offered perspectives on the person as a performer, Goffman (1959) was the first to develop a specific theory concerning self-presentation.

In his well-known work, Goffman created the foundation and the defining principles of what is commonly referred to as impression management.

In explicitly laying out a purpose for his work, Goffman (1959) proposes to “consider the ways in which the individual in ordinary work situations presents himself and his activity to others, the ways in which he guides and controls the impression they form of him, and the kind of things he may or may not do while sustaining his performance before them.” (p. xi)

Social Interaction

Goffman viewed impression management not only as a means of influencing how one is treated by other people but also as an essential part of social interaction.

He communicates this view through the conceit of theatre. Actors give different performances in front of different audiences, and the actors and the audience cooperate in negotiating and maintaining the definition of a situation.

To Goffman, the self was not a fixed thing that resides within individuals but a social process. For social interactions to go smoothly, every interactant needs to project a public identity that guides others’ behaviors (Goffman, 1959, 1963; Leary, 2001; Tseelon, 1992).

Goffman defines that when people enter the presence of others, they communicate information by verbal intentional methods and by non-verbal unintentional methods.

According to Goffman, individuals participate in social interactions through performing a “line” or “a pattern of verbal and nonverbal acts by which he expresses his view of the situation and through this his evaluation of the participants, especially himself” (1967, p. 5).

Such lines are created and maintained by both the performer and the audience. By enacting a line effectively, a person gains positive social value or “face.”

The verbal intentional methods allow us to establish who we are and what we wish to communicate directly. We must use these methods for the majority of the actual communication of data.

Goffman is mostly interested in the non-verbal clues given off which are less easily manipulated. When these clues are manipulated the receiver generally still has the upper hand in determining how realistic the clues that are given off are.

People use these clues to determine how to treat a person and if the intentional verbal responses given off are actually honest. It is also known that most people give off clues that help to represent them in a positive light, which tends to be compensated for by the receiver.

Impression Management Techniques

• Suppressing emotions : Maintaining self-control (which we will identify with such practices as speaking briefly and modestly).
• Conforming to Situational Norms : The performer follows agreed-upon rules for behavior in the organization.
• Flattering Others : The performer compliments the perceiver. This tactic works best when flattery is not extreme and when it involves a dimension important to the perceiver.
• Being Consistent : The performer’s beliefs and behaviors are consistent. There is agreement between the performer’s verbal and nonverbal behaviors.

Self-Presentation Examples

Self-presentation can affect the emotional experience . For example, people can become socially anxious when they are motivated to make a desired impression on others but doubt that they can do so successfully (Leary, 2001).

In one paper on self-presentation and emotional experience, Schlenker and Leary (1982) argue that, in contrast to the drive models of anxiety, the cognitive state of the individual mediates both arousal and behavior.

The researchers examine the traditional inverted-U anxiety-performance curve (popularly known as the Yerkes-Dodson law) in this light.

The researchers propose that people are interpersonally secure when they do not have the goal of creating a particular impression on others.

They are not immediately concerned about others’ evaluative reactions in a social setting where they are attempting to create a particular impression and believe that they will be successful in doing so.

Meanwhile, people are anxious when they are uncertain about how to go about creating a certain impression (such as when they do not know what sort of attributes the other person is likely to be impressed with), think that they will not be able to project the types of images that will produce preferred reactions from others.

Such people think that they will not be able to project the desired image strongly enough or believe that some event will happen that will repudiate their self-presentations, causing reputational damage (Schlenker and Leary, 1982).

Psychologists have also studied impression management in the context of mental and physical health .

In one such study, Braginsky et al. (1969) showed that those hospitalized with schizophrenia modify the severity of their “disordered” behavior depending on whether making a more or less “disordered” impression would be most beneficial to them (Leary, 2001).

Additional research on university students shows that people may exaggerate or even fabricate reports of psychological distress when doing so for their social goals.

Hypochondria appears to have self-presentational features where people convey impressions of illness and injury, when doing so helps to drive desired outcomes such as eliciting support or avoiding responsibilities (Leary, 2001).

People can also engage in dangerous behaviors for self-presentation reasons such as suntanning, unsafe sex, and fast driving. People may also refuse needed medical treatment if seeking this medical treatment compromises public image (Leary et al., 1994).

Key Components

There are several determinants of impression management, and people have many reasons to monitor and regulate how others perceive them.

For example, social relationships such as friendship, group membership, romantic relationships, desirable jobs, status, and influence rely partly on other people perceiving the individual as being a particular kind of person or having certain traits.

Because people’s goals depend on them making desired impressions over undesired impressions, people are concerned with the impressions other people form of them.

Although people appear to monitor how they come across ongoingly, the degree to which they are motivated to impression manage and the types of impressions they try to foster varies by situation and individuals (Leary, 2001).

Leary and Kowalski (1990) say that there are two processes that constitute impression management, each of which operate according to different principles and are affected by different situations and dispositional aspects. The first of these processes is impression motivation, and the second is impression construction.

Impression Motivation

There are three main factors that affect how much people are motivated to impression-manage in a situation (Leary and Kowalski, 1990):

(1) How much people believe their public images are relevant to them attaining their desired goals.

When people believe that their public image is relevant to them achieving their goals, they are generally more motivated to control how others perceive them (Leary, 2001).

Conversely, when the impressions of other people have few implications on one’s outcomes, that person’s motivation to impression-manage will be lower.

This is why people are more likely to impression manage in their interactions with powerful, high-status people than those who are less powerful and have lower status (Leary, 2001).

(2) How valuable the goals are: people are also more likely to impress and manage the more valuable the goals for which their public impressions are relevant (Leary, 2001).

(3) how much of a discrepancy there is between how they want to be perceived and how they believe others perceive them..

People are more highly motivated to impression-manage when there is a difference between how they want to be perceived and how they believe others perceive them.

For example, public scandals and embarrassing events that convey undesirable impressions can cause people to make self-presentational efforts to repair what they see as their damaged reputations (Leary, 2001).

Impression Construction

Features of the social situations that people find themselves in, as well as their own personalities, determine the nature of the impressions that they try to convey.

In particular, Leary and Kowalski (1990) name five sets of factors that are especially important in impression construction (Leary, 2001).

Two of these factors include how people’s relationships with themselves (self-concept and desired identity), and three involve how people relate to others (role constraints, target value, and current or potential social image) (Leary and Kowalski, 1990).

Self-concept

The impressions that people try to create are influenced not only by social context but also by one’s own self-concept .

People usually want others to see them as “how they really are” (Leary, 2001), but this is in tension with the fact that people must deliberately manage their impressions in order to be viewed accurately by others (Goffman, 1959).

People’s self-concepts can also constrain the images they try to convey.

People often believe that it is unethical to present impressions of themselves different from how they really are and generally doubt that they would successfully be able to sustain a public image inconsistent with their actual characteristics (Leary, 2001).

This risk of failure in portraying a deceptive image and the accompanying social sanctions deter people from presenting impressions discrepant from how they see themselves (Gergen, 1968; Jones and Pittman, 1982; Schlenker, 1980).

People can differ in how congruent their self-presentations are with their self-perceptions.

People who are high in public self-consciousness have less congruency between their private and public selves than those lower in public self-consciousness (Tunnell, 1984; Leary and Kowalski, 1990).

Desired identity

People’s desired and undesired selves – how they wish to be and not be on an internal level – also influence the images that they try to project.

Schlenker (1985) defines a desirable identity image as what a person “would like to be and thinks he or she really can be, at least at his or her best.”

People have a tendency to manage their impressions so that their images coincide with their desired selves and stay away from images that coincide with their undesired selves (Ogilivie, 1987; Schlenker, 1985; Leary, 2001).

This happens when people publicly claim attributes consistent with their desired identity and openly reject identities that they do not want to be associated with.

For example, someone who abhors bigots may take every step possible to not appear bigoted, and Gergen and Taylor (1969) showed that high-status navel cadets did not conform to low-status navel cadets because they did not want to see themselves as conformists (Leary and Kowalski, 1990).

Target value

people tailor their self-presentations to the values of the individuals whose perceptions they are concerned with.

This may lead to people sometimes fabricating identities that they think others will value.

However, more commonly, people selectively present truthful aspects of themselves that they believe coincide with the values of the person they are targeting the impression to and withhold information that they think others will value negatively (Leary, 2001).

Role constraints

the content of people’s self-presentations is affected by the roles that they take on and the norms of their social context.

In general, people want to convey impressions consistent with their roles and norms .

Many roles even carry self-presentational requirements around the kinds of impressions that the people who hold the roles should and should not convey (Leary, 2001).

Current or potential social image

People’s public image choices are also influenced by how they think they are perceived by others. As in impression motivation, self-presentational behaviors can often be aimed at dispelling undesired impressions that others hold about an individual.

When people believe that others have or are likely to develop an undesirable impression of them, they will typically try to refute that negative impression by showing that they are different from how others believe them to be.

When they are not able to refute this negative impression, they may project desirable impressions in other aspects of their identity (Leary, 2001).

Implications

In the presence of others, few of the behaviors that people make are unaffected by their desire to maintain certain impressions. Even when not explicitly trying to create a particular impression of themselves, people are constrained by concerns about their public image.

Generally, this manifests with people trying not to create undesired impressions in virtually all areas of social life (Leary, 2001).

Tedeschi et al. (1971) argued that phenomena that psychologists previously attributed to peoples’ need to have cognitive consistency actually reflected efforts to maintain an impression of consistency in others’ eyes.

Studies have supported Tedeschi and their colleagues’ suggestion that phenomena previously attributed to cognitive dissonance were actually affected by self-presentational processes (Schlenker, 1980).

Psychologists have applied self-presentation to their study of phenomena as far-ranging as conformity, aggression, prosocial behavior, leadership, negotiation, social influence, gender, stigmatization, and close relationships (Baumeister, 1982; Leary, 1995; Schlenker, 1980; Tedeschi, 1981).

Each of these studies shows that people’s efforts to make impressions on others affect these phenomena, and, ultimately, that concerns self-presentation in private social life.

For example, research shows that people are more likely to be pro-socially helpful when their helpfulness is publicized and behave more prosocially when they desire to repair a damaged social image by being helpful (Leary, 2001).

In a similar vein, many instances of aggressive behavior can be explained as self-presentational efforts to show that someone is willing to hurt others in order to get their way.

This can go as far as gender roles, for which evidence shows that men and women behave differently due to the kind of impressions that are socially expected of men and women.

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Further Information

• Solomon, J. F., Solomon, A., Joseph, N. L., & Norton, S. D. (2013). Impression management, myth creation and fabrication in private social and environmental reporting: Insights from Erving Goffman. Accounting, organizations and society, 38(3), 195-213.
• Gardner, W. L., & Martinko, M. J. (1988). Impression management in organizations. Journal of management, 14(2), 321-338.
• Scheff, T. J. (2005). Looking‐Glass self: Goffman as symbolic interactionist. Symbolic interaction, 28(2), 147-166.

Self-Presentation Theory: Self-Construction and Audience Pleasing

Cite this chapter.

• Roy F. Baumeister &
• Debra G. Hutton  

Part of the book series: Springer Series in Social Psychology ((SSSOC))

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Self-presentation is behavior that attempts to convey some information about oneself or some image of oneself to other people. It denotes a class of motivations in human behavior. These motivations are in part stable dispositions of individuals but they depend on situational factors to elicit them. Specifically, self-presentational motivations are activated by the evaluative presence of other people and by others’ (even potential) knowledge of one’s behavior.

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Baumeister, R.F., Hutton, D.G. (1987). Self-Presentation Theory: Self-Construction and Audience Pleasing. In: Mullen, B., Goethals, G.R. (eds) Theories of Group Behavior. Springer Series in Social Psychology. Springer, New York, NY. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-1-4612-4634-3_4

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What Is Self Confidence: Definition, Meaning and Examples 

• Self Confidence
• December 23, 2023

Have you ever wondered what separates a truly remarkable leader from the rest? What makes them stand out in the crowd, navigate challenges easily, and inspire others effortlessly? The answer lies in a quality that’s often underestimated but profoundly influential: Self-confidence.

Self-confidence isn’t an innate gift reserved for a select few. It’s a skill that can be honed, crafted, and perfected. The journey from self-doubt to self-assuredness can be daunting. However, striking the right balance between too little and too much confidence would make you the confident leader everyone looks up to.

In this article, we will unravel the mysteries and equip you with the tools to become a self-confident leader, no matter where your journey begins!

Understanding Confidence 

Successful leaders radiate a magnetic self-assuredness, gracefully navigate challenges and seize opportunities with gusto. Wondering how to achieve all of this? A simple skill can make it possible – Confidence!

Simply put, confidence is the firm belief in your abilities, talents, and judgement. When you are confident, you exude self-assurance that others can’t help but notice. That inner voice says, “I can do it,” even in the face of challenges.

Confidence is not just about feeling good; it’s about taking meaningful action. It’s about having the courage to step outside your comfort zone, embrace new opportunities, and pursue your goals. When you are confident about something, you approach it with more enthusiasm and are more receptive to being successful with it.

Understanding the importance of self efficacy and how its connected to self confidence is important. Self-efficacy and self-confidence are interconnected as self-efficacy, the belief in one’s abilities, contributes to and strengthens overall self-confidence, creating a robust foundation for navigating challenges and achieving success with conviction.

However, while confidence is specific to certain situations, a sense of self-assurance is very important to navigate through any challenge. Let’s understand how a person’s belief in themselves plays a role in their lives!

Understanding Self-Confidence

Have you ever wondered why your friend, with a confident stride, can effortlessly captivate a room through a presentation while the mere thought of it sends your heart racing? The answer lies in the personal nature of self-confidence. It is your trust in your abilities, decisions, and judgement.

While confidence refers to one’s belief in the ability of a person, group, or product to perform a specific task successfully, self-confidence refers to an individual’s belief in their own abilities, qualities, and judgement. It empowers you to take risks, face adversity, and believe in your potential. 

It’s akin to a puzzle, and each piece comprises the narrative of our lives. Self-confidence is a deeply personal attribute because it’s built on a foundation of individual experiences, beliefs, and values. It’s a reflection of one’s journey and mindset. Hence, self-confidence isn’t a static trait; it can be cultivated and developed over time.

The substantial differences in self-confidence arise from the following reasons:

1. Life Experiences

Positive and negative life experiences are pivotal in shaping self-confidence. Experiences of success and affirmation tend to boost self-confidence, while encounters with failure and criticism may lead to a decline in self-assuredness.

2. Personal Beliefs

An individual’s personal beliefs and self-perception are fundamental in determining their self-confidence. Those who view themselves as competent and capable tend to exhibit high self-confidence, while those with self-doubt or with low self-esteem may be grappled with lower confidence levels.

The type of mindset a person harbours can significantly affect self-confidence. A growth mindset, characterised by a willingness to embrace challenges and view failures as opportunities for growth, often results in higher self-confidence.

Conversely, a fixed mindset, which resists challenges and change, may lead to a lack of confidence in one’s abilities.

But you must be wondering what is the right amount of self-confidence. Continue reading to find out!

Importance Of Self-confidence

Having self-confidence is about having a realistic understanding of your abilities and limitations. It’s neither overestimating nor underestimating yourself. Self-confident individuals are aware of their strengths and weaknesses, which allows them to make informed decisions and handle life’s ups and downs with grace.

The three reasons why self-confidence is important are:

1. Communication

Self-confidence enables you to express your thoughts and ideas effectively. It allows you to articulate your views with clarity and conviction, making it easier for others to understand and engage with you.

2. Career Advancement

In the professional world, self-confidence is a valuable asset. It can help you take on challenging projects, lead teams, and present your ideas with authority. This, in turn, can lead to career advancement and greater opportunities.

3. Personal Growth

Self-confidence plays a pivotal role in mental health by fostering resilience and empowering individuals to navigate life’s challenges with a sense of assurance. When you believe in your abilities, you’re more likely to step out of your comfort zone, learn new skills, and set ambitious goals.

Self-confidence is not just a personal trait; it’s a tool that can transform your interactions with the world, boost your career, and pave the way for personal development.

However, what might boost one person’s self-confidence might have a different effect on another. Understanding the intricate web of factors that affect self-confidence is the first step toward self-improvement.

Factors That Affect Self-Confidence

Self-confidence flourishes when you believe in yourself. Self-confidence is a dynamic trait influenced by various internal and external factors. Understanding these factors can help you navigate the path to building and maintaining self-confidence.

1. Internal Factors

Self-perception: How you view yourself, your abilities, and your worth significantly affects your self-confidence. A positive self-perception can boost confidence, while a negative self-perception can undermine it.

Belief system: The beliefs you hold about your capabilities and potential have a profound impact on your self-confidence. Believing in your ability to learn and grow fosters self-confidence.

Past experiences: Past successes and failures play a role in shaping your self-confidence. Achievements can enhance your belief in your abilities, while setbacks may lead to self-doubt.

2. External Factors

Feedback : Feedback from others, whether positive or negative, can influence your self-confidence. In the workplace, feedback and social connections can significantly impact one’s confidence. Constructive feedback can boost confidence, while harsh criticism can erode it.

Social support: The presence of a supportive network of friends, family, and colleagues can bolster your self-confidence. A strong support system provides encouragement and positive reinforcement.

Societal norms: Societal expectations and norms can impact self-confidence. Some societal standards may create unrealistic or unattainable ideals that can affect your self-perception.

Awareness of these internal and external factors is the first step in understanding self-confidence. But what happens when you are too self-confident? Find out in the next section!

Understanding Overconfidence

While a dash of self-assuredness and self-confidence is beneficial, overconfidence is the bridge too far. It’s the point where self-assurance tips into arrogance and recklessness. Overconfident individuals may exhibit traits like impulsivity, a reluctance to consider the consequences of their actions, and a tendency to dismiss feedback that doesn’t align with their self-image. 

The over-confidence bias occurs due to various cognitive processes, such as over-placement, over-precision, and over-estimation. Additionally, overconfidence often arises from various psychological factors such as the illusion of control, confirmation bias, and the Dunning-Kruger effect. 

People who are overconfident may not accurately assess their abilities and may ignore signs that they need improvement. This could be because they desire unshakable positivity, have a tendency to overestimate their abilities, and lack honest feedback. While a degree of confidence is vital, skewed self-perception and unrealistic expectations can be very harmful. 

Effects Of Overconfidence

An unreliable sense of self can create a lot of challenges instead of mitigating them. A few harmful effects of overconfidence are:

1. Unreliable Decision-Making

Overconfident individuals often make impulsive decisions without thoroughly considering the consequences. Their belief in their own judgement can lead to hasty choices that may not be in their best interest.

2. Strained Interpersonal Relationships

Overconfidence can come across as arrogance and can strain relationships with colleagues, friends, and family. People may find it challenging to connect with individuals who constantly assert their superior abilities.

3. Failure to Learn and Adapt

Overconfident individuals may resist change and be less likely to adapt to new situations. Their belief that they already know everything they need to can hinder personal and professional growth.

4. Risky Behaviour

Overconfidence often leads to risky behaviours, both in personal life and business. Taking unnecessary risks can have serious consequences, such as financial loss or personal injury.

5. Negative Self-Image

Paradoxically, overconfidence often masks deep-seated insecurities and self-doubt. This disconnect between the facade of overconfidence and internal feelings can lead to a negative self-image and feelings of isolation.

If you are also experiencing these effects, it might be because you are an overconfident individual. Knowing and being aware of ourselves is the first step towards correcting our beliefs and self-perception. Continue reading to understand how.

3 Ways to Reduce Overconfidence

It is no secret that excessive overconfidence is counter-productive to cultivating a strong personal and professional presence. Reducing overconfidence is a critical step toward achieving a balanced level of self-confidence.

Here are three effective ways to reduce overconfidence:

1. Self-awareness

Self-awareness is the foundational step in managing overconfidence. It involves recognising signs such as dismissing feedback or underestimating risks. To cultivate self-awareness and humility, paying close attention to these moments is crucial, fostering a balanced sense of confidence.

2. Evidence-Based Decision-Making

Overcome impulsive decision-making by adopting an evidence-based approach. This involves gathering relevant data, consulting with experts, and relying on factual information rather than intuition. This method ensures a more thorough and informed decision-making process, mitigating the risks associated with overconfidence.

3. 360-Degree Feedback

Seeking input from various sources, including peers, subordinates, and superiors, provides a comprehensive and well-rounded perspective on your abilities. This is what 360-degree feedback is all about. It helps recognise areas that may require improvement and offers insights into blind spots that might be overlooked when relying solely on self-perception. 

By following these strategies, you can balance self-confidence and overconfidence, leading to more informed decision-making and healthier relationships. But how to identify that you have achieved the right amount of self-confidence? Continue reading to find out the difference between the two!

Differences Between Self-confidence And Overconfidence

Self-confidence and overconfidence are related but distinct concepts. It’s important to distinguish between the two, as the latter can lead to undesirable outcomes. Understanding the differences can help you navigate your own self-assurance and interact effectively with others.

1. Decision-making style

Self-confident individuals balance decisiveness with prudence, making well-informed decisions that align with their capabilities. On the other hand, overconfident people tend to make impulsive, snap judgments without fully considering the consequences.

2. Self-perception

Self-confident individuals maintain a realistic self-perception, aware of their abilities without underestimating or overestimating them. Overconfident individuals, however, often possess an inflated self-image, leading to arrogance and a tendency to dismiss feedback.

3. Reaction to feedback

Self-confident individuals are receptive to constructive feedback and view feedback as a valuable tool for self-improvement, using it to adjust their self-assessments and behaviours. On the contrary, overconfident individuals tend to react defensively to feedback that challenges their self-image, leading to missed opportunities for personal development.

4. Interpersonal relations

Self-confidence promotes positive interpersonal interactions. Self-confident individuals are self-assured but not overbearing, making it easier for them to collaborate and connect with others. Overconfidence can strain relationships, often leading to arrogance, insensitivity to others, and dismissive behaviour.

5. Risk tolerance

Self-confident individuals exercise prudence in risk-taking, understanding their capabilities and limitations, and assessing risk thoughtfully. Due to over-estimation and an unreliable belief in self and invincibility, overconfident people exhibit risky behaviour, often overlooking potential downsides.

These differences between confidence and over-confidence highlight the need for a balanced approach to self-confidence. Confidence is a middle ground that allows you to make informed decisions, maintain positive relationships, and adapt to change. But is self-confidence the only important factor? And how is it different from a closely related concept – self-esteem? Know more about the same below!

Self-Esteem And Self-Confidence

Self-confidence is primarily about having faith in your skills and tackling challenges effectively. It can fluctuate based on the situation and is largely inward-focused. Self-esteem, on the other hand, is about self-worth and self-acceptance. It’s more stable and doesn’t vary as much as self-confidence. Self-esteem often relies on external validation and affects how you perceive yourself in general.

It’s essential to differentiate between self-confidence and self-esteem, as they often go hand in hand but serve distinct roles in personal development. Various studies have proven that self-esteem and self-confidence are different. In his interesting TED talk, Prof. Richard Petty from Ohio State University distinguishes them as an opinion of ourselves (self-esteem) and how sure we are of this judgement (self-confidence).

Here are 8 ways in which self-confidence and self-esteem are different from each other:

Self-confidence is typically specific to certain tasks or situations. For example, you might have high self-confidence in public speaking but lower confidence in sports. In contrast, self-esteem is an overarching view of your self-worth that applies to all areas of your life.

2. External Validation

Self-confidence often relies on external feedback and accomplishments. It can be influenced by praise, recognition, or achieving specific goals. Self-esteem is more self-reliant and doesn’t hinge on external validation. It’s based on your intrinsic sense of self-worth.

3. Development

Self-confidence can be developed relatively quickly through practice and experience. When you successfully complete a task or receive positive feedback, your confidence grows. Self-esteem, however, is deeply ingrained and tends to develop over a more extended period. It can be influenced by childhood experiences and may require more profound introspection and personal growth.

4. Fragility

Self-confidence can be fragile, especially when it’s based solely on accomplishments. A failure or setback can significantly diminish self-confidence. Self-esteem is more stable and resilient; it’s less likely to be shaken by temporary setbacks.

5. Comparisons

Self-confidence often involves comparing yourself to others. For instance, you might feel confident when you believe you’re better than your peers in a specific area. Self-esteem, on the other hand, is about embracing your uniqueness and understanding that your worth isn’t defined by comparisons to others.

6. Overcoming Fear

Self-confidence helps you overcome fear in specific situations. For instance, it can help you conquer stage fright when delivering a presentation. Self-esteem is about facing fear on a broader scale, such as addressing deep-seated fears related to your self-worth and self-acceptance.

7. Self-Worth

Self-confidence doesn’t necessarily reflect your overall self-worth. You can be highly confident in one area but still struggle with feelings of inadequacy in others. Self-esteem, on the other hand, is closely tied to your fundamental sense of self-worth and self-acceptance.

8. Adaptability

Self-confidence is adaptable and can vary from situation to situation. For instance, you might have confidence in your professional skills but lack it in social situations. Self-esteem remains relatively constant and doesn’t fluctuate significantly based on the context.

Deeply understanding the difference between self-confidence and self-esteem helps tackle each of the two qualities in a strategic manner. And just like understanding the difference between self-esteem and self-confidence, it is also important to get our facts right about the two. Continue reading to learn about common misconceptions people have about the two and what the truth actually is!

Busting Myths About Self-Confidence And Self-Esteem

One cannot truly understand the two concepts without unlearning and relearning when talking about self-confidence or self-esteem. It is important to rid ourselves of the different myths related to the two. Here are three common myths about Self-Confidence And Self-Esteem and the actual reality behind that belief:

1. Myth: You’re born with a fixed amount of self-confidence and self-esteem.

Reality : Both can be developed and improved over time through practice, self-reflection, and personal growth. These qualities are not fixed but can evolve as you gain new experiences and insights.

2. Myth: Self-confidence means being arrogant.

Reality : Self-confidence is not arrogance. It’s about believing in your abilities and skills. Confident individuals are often humble and open to learning from others. They don’t belittle or demean others to feel confident.

3. Myth: High self-esteem means being narcissistic.

Reality : Healthy self-esteem is about self-respect and self-acceptance, not arrogance or narcissism. Individuals with healthy self-esteem are secure in their self-worth and do not constantly need external validation

Just busting these myths is not enough! Realising the importance of a skill is essential before focusing on improving it. This is a stepping stone to recognise what might be causing low self-confidence in you. Continue reading to know more about indicators of low self-confidence.

Signs Of Low Self-Confidence

Recognising signs of low self-confidence is essential for personal growth and development. Here are three common indicators:

1. Self-doubt

Constantly questioning your abilities and second-guessing your decisions is a classic sign of low self-confidence. You may find it challenging to trust your judgment or tackle new challenges.

2. Avoidance

Low self-confidence often leads to avoidance behaviour. You may steer clear of new opportunities or challenges out of fear of failure. This avoidance can limit your personal and professional growth.

3. Negative Self-Talk

The way you talk to yourself can reveal your level of self-confidence. If your inner dialogue is consistently negative and self-critical, it’s a sign that you may lack self-confidence.

Are you experiencing any of these signs? Continue reading to find out why you might be lacking self-confidence!

Reasons Why I Lack Self-Confidence

When you lack self-confidence, you might hesitate to grab new opportunities, doubt your decisions, and avoid having the spotlight on you. Understanding the underlying reasons for low self-confidence is crucial for becoming an impactful leader.

Here are five common reasons why you might have low self-confidence:

1. Past Failures

Previous setbacks and failures can undermine self-confidence without being viewed as learning opportunities. Negative experiences can create self-doubt.

2. Negative Feedback

Receiving criticism without constructive feedback can erode self-confidence. Harsh and unconstructive comments can damage your belief in your abilities.

3. Comparison

Constantly measuring yourself against others can lead to feelings of inadequacy. Comparing your achievements to those of others can negatively impact your self-confidence.

4. Perfectionism

Striving for unattainable perfection can lead to chronic self-criticism and a lack of self-confidence. Perfectionism often leads to setting impossibly high standards.

5. Fear of Rejection

The fear of being judged, rejected, or ridiculed by others can significantly affect self-confidence. This fear can lead to avoidance behaviours and social withdrawal.

Lack of self-confidence can stem from various factors, but it is essential to identify the root cause and address it constructively to build self-confidence. 

3 Key Ways To Build Self-Confidence

While some might argue that “ fake it till you make it ” is the best strategy, building authentic self-confidence is a gradual process that involves patience, dedication, and consistency.

Here are three key ways to boost your self-confidence:

Knowing yourself deeply, including your strengths, weaknesses, values, and goals, allows you to set realistic expectations and align your actions with your authentic self. To boost self-awareness, perform a SWOT analysis of your strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats. This analysis will provide a comprehensive view of your abilities and areas where you can improve.

2. Self-trust

Establishing trust in yourself after acknowledging the various potentials and limitations empowers you to face challenges and make decisions. Building self-confidence often involves taking small steps. Start with achievable goals, celebrate your achievements, and gradually build your confidence. This process can create a “confidence snowball effect,” where each success reinforces your self-belief, making you self-assured.

3. Self-expression

Authentic expression of self gives a boost to your self-confidence. Practice positive visualisation and self-talk. Visualise yourself succeeding in challenging situations and maintain a positive inner dialogue. These techniques can build self-belief and self-esteem.

By tackling each component – self-awareness, self-trust, and self-expression- you would gradually address low self-esteem and become self-confident. But are you wondering how to expedite the process? The next section will help out!

Activities To Build Self-Confidence

Boosting self-confidence involves engaging in activities that provide a safe space for skill practice, risk-taking, and celebrating achievements. Here are five effective activities:

1. Power Poses

Adopt poses like the Superhero Pose or CEO Pose to trigger physiological changes, increasing testosterone and decreasing cortisol levels. Incorporate these into your daily routine for a confidence boost.

2. Vision Board

Create a vision board with images and symbols representing your goals. Place it in a visible location to serve as a daily reminder, tapping into visual motivation to keep aspirations at the forefront of your mind.

3. Mission Statement

Draft a personal mission statement by reflecting on your life’s purpose, values, and goals. Integrate it into daily life as a mantra, guiding decisions and providing focus amidst life’s complexities.

4. Rewire Negative Thoughts

Identify and challenge negative thought patterns. Use positive affirmations and mindfulness techniques to interrupt negativity, fostering a positive and confident mindset.

5. Fake It Till You Make It

Embrace the concept of adopting an alternate persona, following Beyoncé’s example with Sasha Fierce. Develop an alternate persona embodying desired qualities and use it when confidence is needed, gradually incorporating these qualities into your natural behaviour.

6. Maintaining a Journal

Maintaining a journal of your thoughts, achievements, challenges, and feelings enables profound introspection and self-reflection. This private space becomes a realm to celebrate successes, dissect setbacks, and monitor your evolution. Journaling cultivates clarity, self-awareness, and a sense of accomplishment, nurturing a more assured self-image and a comprehensive grasp of your capabilities.

Steps To Be Confident While Speaking

Whether you’re addressing a small team or a large audience, self-confidence can make a world of difference in how your message is received. To help you become a more confident communicator and public speaker, here are five essential steps to follow:

1. Thorough Knowledge Of Your Topic

Confidence begins with knowledge. The more you know about your topic, the more confident you’ll feel when discussing it. Research, study, and become an expert in your subject matter. This boosts your confidence and enables you to answer questions and engage in discussions more effectively.

2. Understanding Your Audience’s Needs

Knowing your audience is key to confident speaking. Tailor your message to meet their needs, interests, and expectations. Understanding their background, interests, and concerns will help you connect with them deeper. This connection builds confidence as you’ll feel more relatable and responsive to their needs.

3. Crafting a Persuasive Message

Confidence in speaking is not just about what you say but how you say it. Craft a persuasive message that is clear, concise, and impactful. Use storytelling, anecdotes, and relevant data to make your message more engaging. A well-structured message not only keeps your audience’s attention but also boosts your confidence in delivering it effectively.

3. Building Confidence For Public Speaking

Public speaking can be intimidating, but confidence can be built over time. Practice is the key. Start with smaller audiences and gradually work your way up to larger ones. Record your speeches and review them for improvement. Enrol in public speaking courses or workshops to gain valuable insights and techniques to enhance your confidence.

5. Positive Self-Talk

Your inner dialogue can significantly impact your confidence. Replace self-doubt with positive self-talk. Remind yourself of your expertise, preparation, and the value of your message. Confidence comes from believing in your abilities, and positive self-talk can help boost that belief.

5 Resources to Boost Self-Confidence

Building self-confidence can be likened to nurturing a plant. Just as a plant needs consistent care, attention, and nourishment to grow, so does self-confidence require a similar level of commitment and focus. And to ensure that the plant is constantly growing, it is important to provide it with the vital nutrients. Consuming information from various resources acts as fertiliser for your self-confidence.

Here are a few resources you can use to nurture yourself:

There is a wide range of self-confidence-building apps available. Apps such as ThinkUp , Happier , and Headspace , offer exercises, affirmations, and guidance on developing self-esteem and self-assurance. They can be convenient tools for daily practice and improvement.

Books on self-confidence provide in-depth insights into the subject. Some recommended reads include “ The Confidence Code ” by Katty Kay and Claire Shipman, which explores the science of confidence, and “ The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem ” by Nathaniel Branden, which delves into building healthy self-esteem.

3. Podcasts

Listening to podcasts focused on personal development and confidence can be a great way to gain knowledge and motivation. Consider shows like “ The Tony Robbins Podcast ” and “ The School of Greatness ” by Lewis Howes for inspiring content.

4. Training

Formal training and courses concentrating on self-confidence and personal development are invaluable resources. Look for courses in your area or consider online options that fit your schedule and learning style. (Link Kapable)

Music has a powerful impact on our emotions. Create a playlist of songs that make you feel empowered and confident. Listen to these tunes when you need a boost or motivation.

Confidence is not an innate trait; it’s a skill that can be nurtured and developed. By understanding the nuances of self-confidence and following the strategies outlined in this guide, you can unlock your full potential, become a better leader, and live a more fulfilling life.

Remember, it’s not about being the loudest in the room but the most confident in your abilities. So, go out there and shine with self-assurance!

Muskaan Oswal

Muskaan is a Content Developer and Soft Skills Trainer at Kapable, driven by a profound passion for fostering personal growth and empowerment. With a strong academic foundation in Psychology and a fascination with organisational and counselling Psychology, she brings a deep understanding of human behaviour to her role. With a genuine commitment to helping individuals unlock their full potential, Muskaan strives to make a lasting impact by nurturing essential life skills and fostering a sense of empowerment among all those she interacts with.

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Project Confidence in Your Next Presentation

Many of us feel anxious when we’re speaking or presenting at a big meeting, but there’s lots of research on what you can do to look confident and competent in front of an audience. The key is to pay special attention to your body language. Make eye contact and avoid looking at your slides. A […]

Many of us feel anxious when we’re speaking or presenting at a big meeting, but there’s lots of research on what you can do to look confident and competent in front of an audience. The key is to pay special attention to your body language. Make eye contact and avoid looking at your slides. A few glances are OK, but not at the beginning of your presentation. Also, keep an open posture with your arms uncrossed and your palms turned up. Remove any barriers — such as a lectern or a laptop — between you and the audience. And find areas of your presentation where gestures would help highlight key points or emphasize a concept. For example, if you’re listing a number of items, use your fingers to count them off. The last step? Practice until you get it right. Don’t be hard on yourself if it takes more time than you expect. There’s nothing more influential than the power of your presence matching the power of your ideas.

Source: This tip is adapted from “How to Look and Sound Confident During a Presentation,” by Carmine Gallo

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What Is Self-Confidence? (+ 9 Proven Ways to Increase It)

This movement started with a book published in 1969, in which psychologist Nathaniel Branden argued that most mental or emotional problems people faced could be traced back to low self-esteem. Branden laid the foundation for the Self-Esteem Movement with his assertion that improving an individual’s self-esteem could not only result in better performance but could even cure pathology.

Since then, there have been thousands of papers published and studies conducted on the relationship between success and self-esteem. This is a popular idea not only in literature but in more mainstream mediums as well. Before we begin exploring the complexities of self-esteem it is essential to unpack the differences between the overlapping concepts of self-efficacy , self-confidence, and self-esteem .

“Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit.”

E.E. Cummings

Before you read on, we thought you might like to download our three Self-Compassion Exercises for free . These detailed, science-based exercises will not only increase your compassion and self-esteem but will also give you the tools to help your clients, students or employees show more kindness and compassion towards themselves.

This Article Contains

Defining the difference: self-efficacy, self-confidence, and self-esteem, popular theories of self-confidence, the importance of self-confidence, too much of good thing: the consequences of self-esteem education, the benefits of fear: practicing courage and building confidence, 9 lessons for practicing self-confidence, a take-home message: it’s a process, frequently asked questions.

While most people generally think of self-esteem and self-confidence as two names for the same thing, and probably rarely think about the term “self-efficacy,” these three terms hold slightly different meanings for the psychologists who study them (Druckman & Bjork, 1994; Oney, & Oksuzoglu-Guven, 2015).

What is Self-Efficacy?

Albert Bandura is arguably the most cited author on the subject of self-efficacy, and he defines self-efficacy as an individual’s beliefs about their capacity to influence the events in their own lives (Bandura, 1977).

This differs from self-esteem in an important way: the definition of self-esteem often rests on ideas about an individual’s worth or worthiness, while self-efficacy is rooted in beliefs about an individual’s capabilities to handle future situations . In this sense, self-esteem is more of a present-focused belief while self-efficacy is more of a forward-looking belief.

What is Self-Confidence?

This is likely the most used term for these related concepts outside of psychological research, but there is still some confusion about what exactly self-confidence is. One of the most cited sources about self-confidence refers to it as simply believing in oneself (Bénabou & Tirole, 2002).

Another popular article defines self-confidence as an individual’s expectations of performance and self-evaluations of abilities and prior performance (Lenney, 1977).

Finally, Psychology Dictionary Online defines self-confidence as an individual’s trust in his or her own abilities, capacities, and judgments, or belief that he or she can successfully face day to day challenges and demands (Psychology Dictionary Online).

Self-confidence also brings about more happiness. Typically, when you are confident in your abilities, you are happier due to your successes. When you are feeling better about your capabilities, the more energized and motivated you are to take action and achieve your goals .

Self-confidence, then, is similar to self-efficacy in that it tends to focus on the individual’s future performance; however, it seems to be based on prior performance, and so in a sense, it also focuses on the past.

Many psychologists tend to refer to self-efficacy when considering an individual’s beliefs about their abilities concerning a specific task or set of tasks, while self-confidence is more often referred to as a broader and more stable trait concerning an individual’s perceptions of overall capability.

What is Self-Esteem?

The most influential voices in self-esteem research were, arguably, Morris Rosenberg and Nathaniel Branden. In his 1965 book, Society and the Adolescent Self-Image, Rosenberg discussed his take on self-esteem and introduced his widely used accepted Self-Esteem Scale.

A Free PDF of the Rosenberg’s Self-Esteem Scale is available here .

His definition of self-esteem rested on the assumption that it was a relatively stable belief about one’s overall self-worth. This is a broad definition of self-esteem, defining it as a trait that is influenced by many different factors and is relatively difficult to change.

In contrast, Branden believes self-esteem is made up of two distinct components: self-efficacy, or the confidence we have in our ability to cope with life’s challenges, and self-respect, or the belief that we are deserving of happiness, love, and success (1969).

The definitions are similar, but it is worth noting that Rosenberg’s definition relies on beliefs about self-worth, a belief which can have wildly different meanings to different people, while Branden is more specific about which beliefs are involved in self-esteem.

What about those who have too much self-esteem? Could narcissism be the result of having too much self-esteem? A psychological definition would be that narcissism is an extreme amount of selfishness, with a grandiose view of one’s own talents and a craving for admiration.

Self-esteem at high and low levels can be damaging, so it is important to strike a balance in the middle. A realistic but positive view of the self is often ideal.

Where does self-esteem come from? What influence does it have on our lives? Self-esteem is often seen as a personality trait, which means it tends to be stable and enduring.

There are typically three components which make up self-esteem:

• Self-esteem is an essential human need that is vital for survival and normal, healthy development
• Self-esteem arises automatically from within based on a person’s beliefs and consciousness
• Self-esteem occurs in conjunction with a person’s thoughts, behaviors, feelings, and actions.

Self-esteem is one of the basic human motivations in Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Maslow would suggest that individuals need both esteem from other people as well as inner self-respect. These needs must be fulfilled in order for an individual to grow and thrive.

These needs must be fulfilled in order for an individual to grow and achieve self-actualization . Self-confidence and self-esteem are two closely related psychological phenomena, both based on past experiences and both looking forward at future performance.

With these definitions in hand, we can take a closer look at common beliefs and popular theories surrounding self-confidence and self-esteem.

As noted earlier, Branden’s theory of self-esteem became a widely referenced and understood theory, but there were also other theories and frameworks for understanding self-esteem in the psychological literature.

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, an iconic although somewhat out-of-date framework in psychology, theorizes that there are several needs that humans must have met to be truly fulfilled, but, generally, the most basic needs must be met before more complex needs can be met (1943). In his pyramid, self-esteem is the second highest level of need, just under self-actualization.

According to Maslow, humans must have their needs of physiological stability, safety, love and belonging met before they can develop healthy self-esteem. He also noted that there are two kinds of self-esteem, a “higher” and a “lower,” the lower self-esteem derived from the respect of others, while the higher self-esteem comes from within.

In the years following his introduction of the hierarchy of needs, Maslow refined his theory to accommodate the instances of highly self-actualized people who are homeless or individuals who live in a dangerous area or war zone but are also high in self-esteem.

This hierarchy is no longer considered as a strict theory of unidirectional growth, but a more general explanation of how basic needs being met allow individuals the freedom and ability to achieve their more complex ones.

Terror Management Theory

A darker theory that delves a bit deeper into the human experience to explain self-confidence is the Terror Management Theory .

Terror Management Theory (TMT) is based on the idea that humans hold great potential for responding with terror to the awareness of their own mortality, and that worldviews that emphasize peoples’ beliefs in their own significance as humans protect them against this terror (Greenberg & Arndt, 2011).

TMT posits that self-esteem forms as a way to protect and buffer against anxiety, and subsequently, people strive for self-confidence and react negatively to anyone or anything that could undermine their beliefs in their comforting worldview.

Sociometer Theory

Mark Leary, a social psychologist who researches self-esteem in the context of evolutionary psychology, also contributed a theory of self-esteem to the literature.

The Sociometer Theory suggests that self-esteem is an internal gauge of the degree to which one is included vs. excluded by others (Leary, 2006). This theory rests on the conception of self-esteem as an internal individual perception of social acceptance and rejection.

There is some strong evidence for the accuracy and applicability of this theory. For example, studies have shown that the outcomes of events on people’s self-esteem generally match up with their assumptions about how the same events would cause other people to accept or reject them (Leary, Tambor, Terdal, & Downs, 1995).

Finally, evidence shows that social exclusion based on personal characteristics decreases self-esteem (Leary et al., 1995).

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“Trust thyself: every heart vibrates to that iron string.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Regardless of which theory you may personally subscribe to, the outcomes of high self-confidence are generally agreed upon by researchers.

A broad review of the correlates of self-esteem found that high self-esteem is associated with better health, better social lives, protection against mental disorders and social problems, healthy coping, and mental well-being (Mann, Hosman, Schaalma, & de Vries, 2004).

Children with high self-confidence perform better at school and, later in life, have higher job satisfaction in middle age. Self-esteem is also strongly linked to happiness, with higher levels of self-esteem predicting higher levels of happiness. High self-confidence has even been found to increase the chances of survival after a serious surgical procedure (Mann et al., 2004).

As noted earlier, there have been thousands of papers published on self-confidence or self-esteem, and many of these papers connect self-confidence with success in life.

Some studies show a strong relationship between self-confidence and positive mental health (Atherton et al., 2016; Clark & Gakuru, 2014; Gloppen, David-Ferdon, & Bates, 2010; Skenderis, 2015; Stankov, 2013; Stankov & Lee, 2014). The success of individuals with high self-esteem lies in these six attributes:

• A greater sense of self-worth
• Greater enjoyment in life and in activities
• Freedom from self-doubt
• Freedom from fear and anxiety, freedom from social anxiety, and less stress
• More energy and motivation to act
• More enjoyable time interacting with other people at social gatherings. When you are relaxed and confident others will feel at ease around you.

In less hopeful news, some research has shown that increasing confidence does not always lead to enhanced positive outcomes (Brinkman, Tichelaar, van Agtmael, de Vries, & Richir, 2015; Forsyth, Lawrence, Burnette, & Baumeister, 2007).

Journalists in mainstream media have pointed out that there are also negative correlates with self-confidence. For example, self-confidence has steadily increased over the last 50 years, and with it, narcissism and unrealistic expectations have also increased (Kremer, 2013). Maybe there is such a thing as “too much a good thing,” when we are building our children’s self-esteem.

Self-confidence or self-esteem has been praised in Western society for the past 25 years. During this time, it was believed that a positive self-image was the key to a happy and successful life, leading to the birth of the self-esteem era of education.

Children of this generation are taught in schools and at home to consider themselves to be special, to only focus on their positive traits , and to receive praise for very little accomplishment.

Recent research, however, suggests that these practices and beliefs, rather than protecting people from depression, may contribute to low motivation and a decrease in goal-directed behavior (Dweck, 2007).

If boosting self-confidence is better at increasing narcissism and ambition than achievement and success, what should we do? Do we ditch the idea of improving self-confidence?

Baumeister and colleagues have an answer. There are certain contexts where a boost of self-confidence can improve performance, and these opportunities should not be ignored.

They recommend continuing to boost self-esteem, but in a more measured and cautious manner (Baumeister et al., 2003). They encourage parents and teachers to give children praise in order to increase their self-confidence, but only as a reward for socially desirable behavior.

This method ensures that children receive some positive attention and have the opportunity to develop healthy self-esteem, and it does not run the risk of convincing children that they are exceedingly competent whether they work hard or not.

Steve Baskin (2011) lays out another positive move parents can take: letting their children fail.  Recently, parents have taken great care in shielding their children from pain and problems and forming a protective bubble of love and esteem-building around them. This often has the unintended consequence of not only protecting children from struggle but also from growth.

Baskin suggests taking a step back as parents, and letting children figure out how to deal with disappointment and pain, an undertaking that will likely result in the development of resilience and successful coping skills. If we want to encourage all children to not only feel their best but to also do their best, these seem like good solutions.

In his TED Talk Dr. Ivan Joseph (2012), a former athletic director and soccer coach connects his dedication to building self-confidence with his subsequent career success and encourages the audience to follow some tips to build healthy self-confidence in their children.

Fear exists to protect us from physical danger; it is our instinct to prevent ourselves from being eaten by a predator. However, in the absence of such predators and with protection designed into our homes, cars and parenting styles, fear has adapted to respond instead to modern day stresses, which can trigger past negative feelings of shame , hurt or fear.

These experiences operate in the background of our psyche, taking up mental bandwidth and memory, just like mobile apps which run in the background of your phone using memory and battery power.

When we stay in our comfort zone protected from these experiences by the familiarity of routine activities, we live life unaware of our ability to grow and develop new strengths and skills. The less we experience opportunities for mistakes and failure, the more scared we become of what could happen if we were to step outside of our comfort zone.

However, when we do take that plunge, even without confidence in our abilities, courage takes over. In the realm of the known, confidence operates without any hindrance, but in the realm of fear of the unknown courage takes over.

Courage is typically a more noble attribute than confidence because it requires greater strength, and typically a courageous person is one without limits for growth and success.

We can be grateful for fear. We can learn to eagerly embrace it, understand its origin and use it as a signpost for what needs to be dealt with, a powerful tool to declutter the mental closets. And just like actually cleaning out our closets, we can sort through what we want to keep and what no longer fits us . And when it’s cleared out we can feel renewed and energized.

But fear can’t always be overcome just by crossing your fingers and hoping for the best.

We, humans, are strange creatures. We expect our fear to disappear in an instant, however, we accept that we cannot just pick up the violin and play Vivaldi in an instant.

“To build confidence, you have to practice confidence”

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Martin Seligman reminds us that a positive self-image by itself does not produce anything. A sustainable sense of security in oneself arises from positive and productive behavior (Seligman, 1996).

This is not to say that feeling secure and trusting in yourself is not important for wellbeing. High self-confidence or self-efficacy has been linked to many positive physical and mental health outcomes (Pajares, 1996).

Many of us would like to have higher self-confidence but struggle to overcome insecurity, fear, and negative self-talk. With some reflection, hard work, and perhaps a shift in perception we can work towards a strong and stable belief in ourselves.

“Wellbeing cannot just exist in our own head. It is a combination of actually having meaning, good relationships, and accomplishment.”

 Martin Seligman

1. Stand or Sit in a Posture of Confidence

Harvard psychologist Amy Cuddy and others have studied the positive effects of confident body postures on our hormones.

Look for the sensations of confidence and practice feeling them more in your body. Feel your feet on the ground, keep your body relaxed and open. Think regal.

Watch Amy Cuddy’s TED Talk about all about the effect of posture on self-confidence.

Her basic message in the video is that an individual’s posture does not just reflect the level of confidence or insecurity. Posture sends messages to the brain that can actually change the way you feel. So, if you want to feel more powerful, sit up straight, smile, or stand in a “power pose,” and that message will be sent to your brain.

2. Practice Presence

Mindfulness is proven to have significant benefits for your physical and psychological wellbeing. You can practice mindfulness anytime, anywhere. You can give try it right now by following these steps:

• Become aware of your awareness; that is, begin to observe yourself and your surroundings.
• Start with your body sensations, feeling your feet and legs, your belly and chest, your arms, neck, and head.
• Notice your breath flowing in and out, the many sensations that you are experiencing.
• Let your eyes notice what is in your visual field, your ears, what they are hearing. Perhaps sensations of smell and taste will come to awareness as well.
• Go beyond these simple sensations to feel the energy, the quiet, or the noises that surround you. Feel your presence.

3. Build Your Capacity for Energy

What does this mean? A bit of stress can be useful to keep us alert and give us the extra energy needed to perform. Try reframing your nervous jitters as excitement! Knowing how to engage with these feelings in your body will expand your presence rather than shrinking it down.

4. Exercise Regularly

Exercise has a powerful effect on confidence. Regular exercise releases endorphins which in turn interact with the opiate receptors in the brain, which produces a pleasurable state of mind and, in turn, you’ll view yourself in a more positive light.

When you exercise regularly, you will not only get better physically but you will feel more motivated to act in ways that build your self-confidence.

5. Visualize: Imagine Confidence

Close your eyes and relax your body completely. Stay firmly connected to the sensation of relaxation and in your mind’s eye, see yourself speaking on camera or doing whatever activity for which you would like more confidence. Allow the feelings of a comfortable presence to pervade your body and your mind.

6. Give Yourself Permission To Be In The Process, Take Risks and Make Mistakes

From the outside, we often think, “wow, everybody else is more happy, beautiful, creative, successful, active, etc. than me. I’m just not good enough to be like them.” What we don’t tend to consider is that failure is inherent in accomplishment and that in order to pursue our goals, we have to work hard and face our weaknesses. Even those who are exceptional in some areas of life are likely struggling in others.

Allow yourself to be a learner, to be a novice. Trust that it’s okay not to be perfect; in fact, you’ll likely provide inspiration to others in similar situations.

When breaking out of your comfort zone and starting something new, you are expanding your own limitations. When you successfully complete something that is out of your confidence zone, you are building confidence in yourself.

7. Clarify Your Goals

Making progress towards personally meaningful goals is the scaffolding upon which healthy self-confidence is built. In his book, Flourish Seligman proposes PERMA , a five-factor framework for wellbeing in which the “A” stands for accomplishment.

The S.M.A.R.T goals system offers a guideline for goal-setting in which goals are specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-bound. This system is based on research that suggests that these types of goals lead to greater and more consistent achievement (Locke, 1968).

When considering what goals you’d like to set for yourself, it may be helpful to start big considering your core values and life goals . Then you can come up with actionable steps to work toward these. Writing a personal mission statement is a great way to give yourself some direction.

“Happiness does not simply happen to us. It’s something that we make happen and it comes from doing our best.”

Mihali Csikszentmihalyi

8. Speak Well to Yourself

It’s always delightful to get good feedback from others. However, always seeking approval from outside yourself is an easy trap.

“Approve of yourself; be the one that says the words of encouragement you long to hear.”

Speak to yourself with self-compassion , kindness, and encouragement. After all, the most important relationship you have in your life is with yourself- make it a good one!

9. Ask For Help and Offer Your Help to Others

Many of us struggle to ask for help due to fear of rejection or being seen as incompetent. In Western cultures, the high value placed on self-reliance gets in the way of reaching out to others even though this is a necessary part of working toward our goals. However, conversely, a core feature of self-confidence also lies in being valued by others.

A sense of belonging within our social system is fundamental to personal wellbeing (Baumeister & Leary, 1995).

In a recent review of contemporary literature, Stephen Post, head of Case Western Reserve University Medical School, found a profound connection between giving, altruism, and happiness (2008). When we play a positive role in our families, friendships, and communities we rightly feel good about ourselves. We feel that we are fulfilling a greater more meaningful purpose in our lives.

A study by Frank Flynn, professor of organizational behavior at Stanford, revealed that people tend to grossly underestimate the willingness of others to help (2008). Flynn says “our research should encourage people to ask for help and not to assume that others are disinclined to comply” (2008).

Collaboration among people creates the most powerful results. When we reach out to others, we can see our efforts flourish in ways that we could never achieve on our own.

“Doing a kindness produces the single most reliable increase in momentary wellbeing than any other exercise we have tested.”

Martin Seligman

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The bottom line is that a healthy sense of self-confidence is not something that we achieve once and then just have for the rest of our lives. If you are a parent, teacher, or someone else who interacts with children frequently, notice whether you are trying to build children’s self-esteem through protecting and praising them.

Consider what you are encouraging the child to learn from their actions, provide them with enough opportunities to safely learn through failure and offer them space to build their courage and express their self-efficacy.

No matter how confident they are, there will be a moment when they will need to draw from a deep well of self-esteem, resilience, and problem-solving to successfully navigate a complex and challenging world.

Self-confidence waxes and wanes and takes work to build, develop and maintain. We all experience moments which challenge our confidence. However, when we understand the sources of healthy self-confidence we can always work on cultivating it within ourselves.

What do you think about the challenge of building self-confidence? How do you feel about building self-confidence in education? What is your greatest confidence maker or breaker? Let us know in the comments box below.

We hope you enjoyed reading this article. Don’t forget to download our three Self Compassion Exercises for free .

There are many reasons why someone may lack confidence, including:

• past experiences of failure or criticism,
• negative self-talk or beliefs,
• comparison to others, or
• lack of experience or knowledge in a particular area.

The 3 types of self-confidence are:

• Task-specific: confidence in your ability to perform a specific task or skill
• General: overall confidence in yourself and your abilities
• Situational: confidence that varies depending on the situation or context, such as public speaking or social situations

You can stop being insecure by:

• Challenging negative self-talk and beliefs
• Focusing on your strengths and accomplishments
• Practicing self-care and self-compassion
• Seeking out positive and supportive relationships
• Practicing mindfulness or meditation to increase self-awareness and decrease anxiety
• Developing new skills and knowledge to increase competence and confidence
• Seeking professional help if necessary, such as therapy or counseling.
• Atherton, S., Antley, A., Evans, N., Cernis, E., Lister, R., Dunn, G., Slater, M., & Freeman, D. (2016). Self-confidence and paranoia: An experimental study using an immersive virtual reality social situation. Behavioural and Cognitive Psychotherapy, 44 , 56-64.
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• Stankov, L. (2013). Noncognitive predictors of intelligence and academic achievement: An important role of confidence. Personality and Individual Differences, 55 , 727-732.
• Stankov, L. & Lee, J. (2014). Quest for the best non-cognitive predictor of academic achievement. Educational Psychology, 34 , 1-8.
• Weisul, K. (n.d.). 2 Quick Exercises That Will Boost Your Confidence. Retrieved from http://www.inc.com/kimberly-weisul/ two-short-simple-exercises-that-will-boost-your-confidence.html.

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It’s a really helpfull article. I must apply in my daily life. Thanku so much for giving me this knowledge.

This is really useful article. Helps to apply this points in my corporate life. Thanks!

Sorry i mistakenly clicked on the number 1 to evaluate this article. On the contrary to my evaluation, the article was very useful to me. On the scale of 1 to 10, i will choose 9

Great article and I appreciate the references to other resources!

I disagree with “What about those who have too much self-esteem? Narcissism is the result of having too much self-esteem.” No, Narcissism is an extreme form of selfishness, entitlement and self-delusion – not self-esteem.

As your paragraph continues: “A psychological definition (of narcissism) would be an extreme amount of selfishness, with a grandiose view of one’s own talents and a craving for admiration.” Confident people don’t need to be selfish, and don’t need to crave admiration.

Perhaps the greater point, we can agree on, is that self-confidence needs to be aligned with reality, not self-delusion.

Aside from this one point of disagreement, thank you for a great article and the nine ways to build self-esteem.

Self confidence is so important especially in the workplace when surrounded by great talent.

Hi, Dr. Nathaniel Branden and I disagree with the research involving, “too much self-esteem.” Branden ( 2011) states the following, “The question is sometimes asked, “Is it possible to have too much self-esteem?” No, it is not; no more than it is possible to have too much physical health or too powerful an immune system. Sometimes self-esteem is confused with boasting or bragging or arrogance; but such traits reflect not too much self-esteem, but too little; they reflect a lack of self-esteem. Persons of high self-esteem are not driven to make themselves superior to others; they do not seek to prove their value by measuring themselves against a comparative standard. Their joy is in being who they are, not in being better than someone else. I recall reflecting on this issue one day while watching my dog playing in the backyard. She was running about, sniffing flowers, chasing squirrels, leaping into the air, showing great joy in being alive (from my anthropomorphic perspective). She was not thinking (I am sure) that she was more glad to be alive than was the dog next door. She was simply delighting in her own existence. That image captures something essential of how I understand the experience of healthy self-esteem. People with troubled self-esteem are often uncomfortable in the presence of those with higher self-esteem and may feel resentful and declare, “They have too much self-esteem.” But what they are really making is a statement about themselves. Insecure men, for instance, often feel more insecure in the presence of self-confident women. Low-self-esteem individuals often feel irritable in the presence of people who are enthusiastic about life. If one partner in a marriage whose self-esteem is deteriorating sees that the partner’s self-esteem is growing, the response is sometimes anxiety and an attempt to sabotage the growth process. The sad truth is, whoever is successful in this world runs the risk of being a target. People of low achievement often envy and resent people of high achievement. Those who are unhappy often envy and resent those who are happy. And those of low self-esteem sometimes like to talk about the danger of having “too much self-esteem.”” (p. 33).

Branden, N. (2011). The six pillars of self-esteem. Bantam.

Hi Joe, Thanks for sharing your thoughts and yours and Dr Branden’s thinking. I quite liked the analogy regarding the dog running amongst the flowers. You make a great point about the conceptual confusion regarding arrogance and self-esteem. Just because a person is highly content wth themselves, it doesn’t mean that will translate into comparison or arrogant behaviors. As you note, such behaviors would likely suggest underlying problems with self-esteem. – Nicole | Community Manager

Hello Nicole, thanks for your perspective! I find it somewhat upsetting that self-esteem is not clearly defined by the general sources that I have researched. I have found that the most logical and precise meaning of self-esteem has been explained by Dr. Nathaniel Branden in his book mentioned in my post.

Confidence is like an artist/journey, the more an expert one becomes, the more one can unravel: there is no limit to it. However, it’s important that one keeps a balance through the journey.

Hi there, I should have added, it was due to your article, I came up with the thought

nice one to the world

Your 9 ways made feel as if I was surfing a big long wave, (and I don’t surf) . What you have compiled here I have known about, but I enjoyed how you wrote and how you referenced. I am 64 and just beginning a bachelor of psychology course online with no prior tertiary education(scary). I’m very interested in self-confidence as in education because of how much it strangles potential, in my observations of self & the more I listen to many deprive themselves because of this

The best of learning on your new path, Rocky!! I love how you are putting yourself out there for your new educational path! 🙂

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Overcoming shyness: Re-discovering your confidence and self-worth

Being shy can be a completely debilitating affliction as you will be hard-pressed to find a work environment, social activity or hobby that doesn’t (at least at some point) involve dealing with other people.

The symptoms of shyness can be paralysing. You may feel frozen with fear, the anxiety so strong you cannot even focus on what is being said to you, making you feel even worse as you cannot ‘hold a conversation’, and all you want to do is escape and hide for eternity. It can feel like a truly impossible catch-22 however as, ‘unfortunately’, there is no hiding from other people forever. 

When asked what it is most shy people fear in social interactions it usually comes down to the same thing – judgement. We fear we are being judged. We fear we might ‘slip up’ and be found wanting. We might fear there is something ‘bad’ that will be exposed or seen by another if we linger for too long in their company, and we would rather hide than risk this happening. 

What is it we are hiding? What about ourselves feels so terrible that we cannot bear the idea that someone might even guess what it is?

Shyness and shame

Many shy people have a deep sense of there being something wrong with them, or ‘shame’. It can be very hard to identify this in therapy as shame notoriously likes to hide in the dark. In my work as a therapist I’m yet to find a legitimate reason for shame in a client and, as what they ‘feel’ is shameful is slowly uncovered, we realise together it was more often than not just a clever trick of the mind to keep them feeling ‘small’ – perhaps a crucial survival mechanism in childhood.

When a person feels small, they are inevitably going to want to hide. A busy social environment with ‘competent, capable adults’ feels far too overwhelming. And so a vicious cycle is set up — shame drives us to hide, and because we hide, we continue to feel ashamed. 

Childhood origins

For most people, shyness has its origins in childhood. We are so often judged or labelled at school and sometimes by our parents it can be difficult to see we are quite enough as we are. The way we are raised sets in us a need to impress or ‘be seen as worthy’ in the eyes of others, and this is particularly the case if we had parents or teachers who were difficult (or impossible!) to please. 

This dynamic sets up a desperate sort of cycle in which the shy person seeks validation from others while at the same time believing it can never be given. It feels much easier for them to just avoid people altogether, but as we know, this is not possible. This is why shyness can feel so paralysing. It truly feels like an impossible situation. 

How therapy can help

Through therapy, we can develop our ability to feel strong enough in ourselves to withstand any real or perceived judgements from others. Our sense of self does not depend on others’ opinions and so we are quite happy being in their company, as what they think of us or how they behave towards us truly has no impact on our self-esteem.

It can take time to unravel the idea that our self-worth is tied up in the opinions of others, but with therapy, we can learn to depend and rely on ourselves. It might be that we do avoid certain social interactions in future (does anyone really like long drawn-out ‘networking events’?! (perhaps) but if we do choose not to go it will be because it is our choice, not because we are fearful. Shyness, if left unchecked, can wreak havoc in our lives. But we can take back control and start feeling better. We can start right now. 

The views expressed in this article are those of the author. All articles published on Counselling Directory are reviewed by our editorial team .

Clare Patterson is an integrative psychotherapist who works not only to manage her clients' symptoms but to address the root cause of their suffering. She works on a deep, intuitive level and through her training in transpersonal psychotherapy and reiki, works directly with the unconscious to bring about real and lasting change.

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Learning Task 3. What is self-confidence? Slides Presentation & Video

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Dianys marcela diaz cordoba, what is self-confidence.

Self-confidence is about believing in our own abilities and being sure that we are capable of achieving all our goals.

Self-confidence does not depend on the success we have had in the past, so it is important to eliminate that idea from our minds and acquirethe security that everything that happens to ud teaches us to be better every day.

What actions are you currently performig to build good self-confidence?

I am going to the gym from monday to friday to demostrate that i can have more strength than i ever imagined because strength lies in the mind more than in the body.

To reinforce my self-confidence, i am studying every day to one day become a great professional and be able to help many people.

To improve my self-confidence, i am trying to make delicious meals and desserts for my family every day since cooking is something that is challenging for me.

Compare three people with different levels of self-confidence. they can be real o imaginary.

Juan is a boy who has lower-confidence. he often needs validation from others to do anything, and a challenge is something that becomes very dificult for him to achieve.

Kelly is a girl with average self-confidence. Unlike Juan, she stuggles to acept new challenges, but she is willing to try new thigns and works every day to improve her self-esteem.

Marcela is a girl with high self-confidence, and unlike juan and kelly, she is not afraid of new challenges. she is the first on the list when it comes to living new experiences, and she always keeps in mind that everything she sets out to do, she can achieve., insert my presentation video., thank you so much, do you have an idea.

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Miami Dolphins star Jaelan Phillips: Let's not stigmatize vulnerability from men

MIAMI GARDENS — Miami Dolphin Jaelan Phillips wants people to know that even star football players struggle with self-confidence and that men processing emotions and exposing vulnerability should not be stigmatized.

Phillips made the comments in the Dolphins' locker room on Wednesday, one day after an Instagram post related to that topic.

On Instagram, Phillips posted:

"I have to work really hard to not attach my self worth and confidence to how I perform on the field. When I have a poor or even just subpar performance, I feel like I'm worthless, like I let my team and fans down, and often my confidence can waver. The self hatred and doubt can feel so heavy in those moments, sometimes I wonder if I'll ever pull myself out of it.

"It takes a concerted effort to change my way of thinking in those moments, and see the failure/adversity as a learning experience instead of the end of the world. I pick my head up, and fall back on routine and discipline, which are the only things that matter. It's all about the process, not the results. It's so much easier to spiral and self-deprecate, but nothing good is ever easy. Keep chopping wood, things will get better, you can do it & believe in yourself!

"And trust God."

Phillips, 25, is coming back from an Achilles injury that ended his 2023 season.

He felt he played poorly in a loss last week to the Bills.

On Wednesday, Phillips elaborated about the message.

"I just wanted to convey a message to people, it's really anybody in general, but like, especially young athletes and stuff. You know, I feel like some people are just naturally like supremely confident, but I feel like a lot of people kind of struggle with their confidence. And I just wanted to like convey the message that even if you do struggle with your confidence, you can still move past it, you can still be successful.

"It's really about how you handle those times like that and how you move forward from it. So I just think it's important, like I feel like a lot of people might assume, because we're big, brawny athletes, that either we don't go through the same emotions or whatever, but I think that it's impactful for a lot of people. I think it's impactful for a lot of people to be able to see that from us.

"Like, you know, a lot of people obviously idolize us, and for us to be, like, candid about our emotions, I think that's super important, like, especially for men in general. I feel like it's kind of like stigmatized to be vulnerable. Some people might see it as soft to speak about your emotions, but I think it's important, like I said, to convey that message and show people that they can be themselves. They don't have to be anybody less than what they are. They can go through tough times. They can go through times of self-doubt and low confidence, but you can always push a way out of it."

'It's kind of like stigmatized to be vulnerable.'

Phillips is open about his emotional process.

"I feel like I have a lot of high expectations for myself and I didn't live up to my standard and so kind of instantly like all the negative voices in my head kind of start berating me and you know like I said yesterday it takes a concerted effort to switch that mind frame and you know start to love yourself and tell yourself positive things instead of just like pounding yourself down. So yeah, like I said, it was that process like happened on Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. It was tough because it was a long weekend so we couldn't just like put it to bed and move on.

"And so, you know, by Monday that's kind of when I started to turn the page and get back into the routine. And at the end of the day, yeah, like tough times don't last but tough people do. How do you start that process of being positive to yourself? I think it's important to sit with those feelings. I don't think it's beneficial to try to ignore those feelings. I think it's a good practice to try to tell yourself the opposite when you have those negative thoughts. I'm not good enough. People don't love me.

"Whatever the case may be, tell yourself I am good enough. Sitting in that and understanding that it's okay to have down days or if it's two days or three days. But it's not OK to stay down and to start spiraling and to not take that step forward. And so, you know, what I said yesterday it's like for me, my routine and discipline is like what carries me. Because, you know, you might think about something a lot for a couple days. But then, once you get back in your routine get back in here meetings with the boys working out stuff like, that you just kind of forget about it."

'Tell yourself, I am good enough.'

Phillips has been telling himself that his return to form was not going to be instantaneous.

"I feel like I just wasn't impactful," he said. "I guess I'm just a little hard on myself. I've still got to remind myself that I'm coming off a major injury. We had a short turnaround. Really, the fourth time I put on pads this year, only the second full, full speed game, going to war that I played. So I think I just got to give myself grace. But I just kind of felt like I wasn't impactful out there. I made a couple of bonehead plays, this is all I was trying to do so much, trying to make big plays. Obviously, how the game is going, so I think it's just a good reminder to myself to trust myself and to stay within the scheme and stay within my game and not try to reach for anything."

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Joe Schad is a journalist covering the Miami Dolphins and the NFL at The Palm Beach Post . You can reach him at [email protected] and follow him on Instagram and on X @schadjoe . Sign up for Joe's free weekly Dolphins Pulse Newsletter . Help support our work by subscribing today.