uc berkeley essay prompts 2022 23

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Personal Insight Questions

As a vital part of your application, the personal insight questions—short-answer questions you will choose from—are reviewed by both the admissions and scholarship offices., at berkeley we use personal insight questions to:.

• Discover and evaluate distinctions among applicants whose academic records are often very similar
• Gain insight into your level of academic, personal and extracurricular achievement
• Provide us with information that may not be evident in other parts of the application

What we look for:

• Initiative, motivation, leadership, persistence, service to others, special potential and substantial experience with other cultures
• All achievement in light of the opportunities available to you
• How you confronted and overcame your challenges, rather than describing a hardship just for the sake of including it in your application
• What you learned from or achieved in spite of these circumstances

Academic achievement

For first-year applicants:

• Academic accomplishments, beyond those shown in your transcript

For transfer students:

• Include interest in your intended major, explain the way in which your academic interests developed, and describe any related work or volunteer experience.
• Explain your reason for transferring if you are applying from a four-year institution or a community college outside of California. For example, you may substantiate your choice of a particular major or your interest in studying with certain faculty on our campus.

How to answer your personal insight questions

• Thoughtfully describe not only what you’ve done, but also the choices you have made and what you have gained as a result.
• Allow sufficient time for preparation, revisions, and careful composition. Your answers are not evaluated on correct grammar, spelling, or sentence structure, but these qualities will enhance overall presentation and readability.

If you are applying…

• Your intended field of study
• Your interest in your specific major
• Any school or work-related experience
• for a scholarship, we recommend that you elaborate on the academic and extracurricular information in the application that demonstrates your motivation, achievement, leadership, and commitment .
• Discuss how the program might benefit you
• Tell us about your determination to succeed even though you may have lacked academic or financial support

Keep in mind

You can use the Additional Comments box to convey any information that will help us understand the context of your achievement; to list any additional honors awards, activities, leadership elements, volunteer activities, etc.; to share information regarding a nontraditional school environment or unusual circumstances that has not been included in any other area of the application. And, finally, after we read your personal insight questions, we will ask the question, “What do we know about this individual?” If we have learned very little about you, your answers were not successful.

• Personal Insight Questions (University of California)
• Personal Insight Question Writing Tips
• Leadership (video)
• What Leadership Looks Like

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18 UC Berkeley Essay Examples that Worked (2024)

If you want to get into the University of California, Berkeley in 2022, you need to write strong Personal Insight Question essays.

In this article I've gathered 18 of the best University of California essays that worked in recent years for you to learn from and get inspired.

What is UC Berkeley's Acceptance Rate?

UC Berkeley is one of the top public universities and therefore highly competitive to get admitted into.

This past year 112,854 students applied to Berkeley and only 16,412 got accepted. Which gives UC Berkeley an overall admit rate of 14.5%.

And as of 2022, the University of California no longer uses your SAT and ACT when deciding which students to admit.

UC Berkeley Acceptance Scattergram

This means that your Personal Insight Questions are even more important to stand out in the admissions process. That is, your essays are more heavily weighed.

If you're trying to get accepted to UC Berkeley, here are 18 of the best examples of Personal Insight Questions that got into Berkeley.

What are the UC Personal Insight Question Prompts for 2022-23?

The Personal Insight Questions (PIQs) are a set of eight questions asked by the UC application, of which students must answer four of those questions in 350 words or less.

Here are the Personal Insight Question prompts for this year:

• Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes or contributed to group efforts over time.
• Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side.
• What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time?
• Describe how you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity or worked to overcome an educational barrier you have faced.
• Describe the most significant challenge you have faced and the steps you have taken to overcome this challenge. How has this challenge affected your academic achievement?
• Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom.
• What have you done to make your school or your community a better place?
• Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes you stand out as a strong candidate for admissions to the University of California?

18 UC Berkeley Personal Insight Question Examples

Here are the 18 best Berkeley essays that worked for each Personal Insight Question prompt #1-8.

If you're also applying to UCLA, check out more unique UCLA essays from admitted students.

UC Berkeley Example Essay #1

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UC PIQ #1: Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes or contributed to group efforts over time. (350 words max)

From an early age I became a translator for my mother anytime we went out in public. This experience forced me to have conversations with adults from a young age. It made me become a great communicator, while helping my parents overcome their language barrier.

Being a communicator has allowed me to lead. When I joined my school’s National Honor Society I was given the opportunity to lead. Applying the skills I used from being my mother’s translator I was able to do what no one else could, make the calls and start the club’s most successful event to date an annual Food Drive at a local Albertson’s, which collects over one ton of food every November. Also developing events like an egg hunt at the local elementary school, a goods drive for the Children’s Hospital of Los Angeles, and stabilizing a volunteer partnership with a local park. I have been able to grow as a leader, who actively communicates and brings parties together, planning events and having them run smoothly with minor issues. For instance, last year there was an issue with the homeless shelter not picking up the food for the food drive. In a spur of the moment solution I managed for club member’s parents to collectively deliver the food. My ability to communicate benefited me allowing me to find a solution to an unanticipated problem.

Throughout the four years I have been in journalism I have led; mentoring younger writers and improving the way the paper operates. Staying after hours, skyping with writers about their articles all helped establish my role as a leader, who is always supporting his team. I have done this while writing over 100 articles, editing tons of pages, and managing deadlines. I learned that while being a leader requires effort, it is the passion like I have for journalism that motivates me to lead in my community.

Being a leader so far in my life has taught me that I need to communicate, be passionate, and pass on my knowledge helping cultivate future leaders, who can expand and supersede my work.

UC PIQ #2: Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side. (350 words max)

Video games have cultivated my creative thought process. When I was a toddler I invented a game I would play with my brothers. It was nothing along the lines of Hide-and-Seek or Tag, but rather, it was meant to mimic a role-playing video game. It was called "Guy" and came with its own story, leveling system, and narrative story. While seemingly impossible to translate the mechanics of a video game into real life, the "Guy" trilogy provided hundreds of hours of fun to pass hot summer days and escape the harsh reality of our parents arguing and eventual divorce.

This thought process translated into my educational career. have always thought of a tough class or test as a video game. This mostly due to my excessive amounts of video games I played as a child through middle school (especially 7th grade). Each year comes bigger and "stronger" challenges, bigger and stronger bosses to defeat. My senior year will have me face the most powerful boss yet; full AP course load on top of heavy club involvement and community college classes.

Many thought of this "secret boss" as an impossible challenge; something that could never be beaten. No one from my school has ever attempted to take on such a challenge, let alone defeat it. That is probably what excites me about it. In a game, messing around with lower level enemies is fun for a while, but gets boring when it is too easy. The thought of a challenge so great and difficult makes the victory even more rewarding. Stormy skies, heavy rain, and epic boss battle music; I'll take that over a peaceful village any day. In the future, I seek to use this thinking to drive research. I think of abstract physics concepts like secret door and levels that need to be proven true or just a myth in the game. One day, I can make my own discovery of a secret "cheat code' that can help everyone who plays a little game called life.

UC PIQ #3: What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time? (350 words max)

I’ve always hated the feeling of clammy hands, the needless overflow of adrenaline rushing through my veins, and the piercing eyes that can see through my façade—the eyes that judge me. I felt like this debilitating anxiety that I suffered through was something I could not avoid when doing the thing I was most afraid of—public speaking. I still felt every sweat droplet run down my skin before each speech, and this anguish never completely dissipated. Fortunately, I learned to moderate my fear in high school when I decided to join the speech and debate program. My anxiety has slowly faded in intensity as I’ve gained certitude and poise with every tournament, and every chance I’m given to speak on behalf of others; this talent has allowed me to be a voice for the voiceless.

Out of all the national tournaments that I’ve competed in, the MLK invitational holds a distinct place in my heart. It was my first invitational tournament in which I competed exclusively in Lincoln Douglas debate. I only had two weeks to prepare myself since it was finals week, while my competitors had upwards of two months to prepare. I was fortunate to break into the final round, as my years of experience helped me to articulate and explain my few arguments more effectively, while also refuting my opponent’s.

I realized that the extent of one’s knowledge is useless if it cannot be made known in a way that is clear to others. I learned that preparation is necessary, but one can be so focused on what they are going to say that they don’t hear the arguments presented. I kept an open and ready mind for various claims and strategies which left me free to adapt to the opponent’s argumentative style each round. This ability to think on my feet has served me well in countless debates, speeches, and presentations. I continuously use these skills to become a better and more active listener in my daily interactions as well.

My greatest skill is my ability to remember things really well, whether they be minute details or important information that should not be forgotten. Over time, I’ve had a knack for remembering details most people would not even bother to remember, such as old test scores, atomic masses, and other details involving numbers. My friends have always marveled at my ability to remember all these numbers. When I was in chemistry class, we used the periodic table so much that I soon began to remember the atomic mass of the more common elements, and even the molecular mass of common compounds like glucose or water. One of my best friends, who is undoubtedly the smartest person in our class, even finds it crazy that I can remember all these numbers and always tells me that my memory of numbers is amazing. I also used my memory to learn and remember how to solve the Rubik's cube, which amazes my friends, as they find it to be complex with many different, possible combinations.

This skill that I have developed, however, isn’t completely under my control, as sometimes I just remember random and irrelevant facts without really trying to do so. I recall one weekend when my eight-year-old cousin was attempting to memorize the digits of pi: I remembered them along with him, learning up to forty digits in just one day. The skill is seemingly natural and not something I have worked hard to develop, as I may be able to use my memory to my advantage, or it can be a disadvantage. It helps when I have multiple tests in one day, or a test with many questions where I have to remember a lot of information, such as finals. Sometimes, however, it is a disadvantage when I remember information during a test that is not relevant to the topic, such as random dates, names, or song lyrics, to name a few. This skill is very important to nonetheless, as it has assisted me all throughout my life in many tests and challenges involving memory.

UC PIQ #4: Describe how you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity or worked to overcome an educational barrier you have faced. (350 words max)

At 10:30 pm on a hot, summer, Wednesday night, you would expect my friends and me to be having the time of our lives and going out on crazy high school adventures— but instead, we were actually stuck in a chemistry laboratory trying to map out the Lewis structure of sulfuric acid.

Over the summer of my sophomore year, my friends and I enrolled into ‘Introduction to Chemistry’, an evening course at our local community college. As a six-week summer course, I spent two hours in lecture, two hours in the laboratory, and another two hours studying on my own for four days a week for six weeks. It was evident that I struggled with adjusting to the pace of college when I received 19% on a quiz. I felt left behind, exhausted, and overall pathetic. No matter how many hours I spent studying, I couldn’t keep up. But instead of giving up, I picked up certain strategies like reading the material the night before, rewriting my notes, and joining a study group; eventually working my way up to a B.

At the end of that summer, I learned so much more than just chemistry. On top of having the raw experience of what college is like, my chemistry experience taught me that it is okay to fail. I discovered that failure is an essential part of learning. Coming to this realization inspired me to take more college courses and rigorous courses in high school. I transformed into a hungry learner, eager to fail, learn, and improve. By seizing the opportunity to take this course, I pushed myself beyond my limits. This experience and realization changed how I wanted to pursue the rest of high school, college, and life in general.

I walked into my first day of the chemistry class expecting to walk out with an A; but thankfully, I didn’t. Instead, I walked out of that class with a taste of the college experience and a principle that I now live by-- that it is okay to fail, as long as you get back up.

The relationship I cultivated with my school's college center, by simply being inquisitive, has been most significant. Over my years in high school the college center became my 2nd home, where I learned about extra opportunities and triumphed with help from counselors.

For instance, with help from my school’s college center I applied and was accepted as an LAUSD Superintendent Summer Scholar this past summer. The program selected 15 juniors out of over 450 applicants to work in one of 15 departments, and I was chosen to work for the communications department, which received over 70 applications – making me 1 of 70. Interning for LAUSD at their 29 floor high rise was very eye-opening and exposed me to working in communications alongside seasoned professionals. The opportunity gave me the chance to meet the Superintendent and school board members, who are politically in charge of my education. As part of the communications department I learned how the district operates a network of over 1,300 schools and saw how the 2nd largest school district shares info with stakeholders through universal press releases, phone calls, and the district homepage.

I wrote several articles for the district publication and worked with public information officers who taught me the principles of professionalism and how to communicate to over 1 million people. Recently, I was called from the district to become a part of their Media Advisory Council working alongside district heads, representing the students of LAUSD.

Working for LAUSD furthered my passion to pursue careers in both communication and education. I have always had a desire to be a journalist and the internship assured me of that. I want to write stories bringing student issues from areas like mine to light. Being exposed to the movers and shakers that control education in Los Angeles has heavily motivated me to become an educator and at some point become a school board member influencing the education students like me receive.

Support from the college center has spawned opportunities like a life-changing internship and set me on course for a future full of opportunity.

“Give me liberty, or give me death!”, I proudly exclaimed, finishing up a speech during my first Individual Event competition for Speech and Debate, also known as Forensics Workshop. Public speaking was always one of my shortcomings. During countless in-class presentations, I suffered from stage-fright and anxiety, and my voice always turned nervous and silent. I saw Speech and Debate as a solution to this barrier that hindered my ability to teach and learn. With excessive practice, I passed the tryout and found myself in the zero-period class. All of my teammates, however, joined because they loved chattering and arguing. I had the opposite reason: I despised public speaking.

I was definitely one of the least competitive members of the team, probably because I didn’t take the tournaments very seriously and mainly worried about being a better speaker for the future. Throughout the daily class, I engaged in impromptu competitions, speech interpretations, spontaneous arguments, etc... Throughout my two years on the team, my communication, reciting, writing, and arguing skills overall improved through participation in events such as Impromptu, Original Oratory, Oratorical Interpretation, Lincoln Douglas Debate, and Congress. I even achieved a Certificate of Excellence in my first competition for Oratorical Interpretation -- where we had to recite a historical or current speech -- for Patrick Henry’s “Give Me Liberty, or Give Me Death.”

I decided to quit Speech and Debate because I felt as if it has completed its purpose. After this educational experience, my communications skilled soared, so I could perform better in school, especially on essays and presentations. Leaving this activity after two years gave me more time to focus on other activities, and apply communications skills to them. In fact, I even did better in interviews (which is how I got into the Torrance Youth Development Program) and even obtained leadership positions in clubs such as Math Club and Science Olympiad Through my two years in Speech and Debate, I believe I became a much better thinker, speaker, and leader. Taking advantage of this opportunity boosted my self-esteem and overall made high school a better experience.

UC PIQ #5: Describe the most significant challenge you have faced and the steps you have taken to overcome this challenge. How has this challenge affected your academic achievement? (350 words max)

Although many would say that hardships are the greatest hindrance on a person, my hardships are my greatest assets. The hardships I have overcome are what push and drive me forward. If I had not gone through the failures of my 7th grade year I may have been satisfied as a B or C student. It is easy for us to use our hardships as excuses for not doing work, however, this is a mistake that many people make.

Through my struggles and failure, I have realized an important truth: I am not special. The world will continue to go on and expect me to contribute no matter what I have gone through. Everyone endures some type of obstacle in their life; what makes people different is how they handle them. Some sit around and cry "boo-hoo" waiting for people to feel sorry for them. Others actually take action to improve their situation.

Through hard work, I have been able to outperform my peers, yet I know there is still room for improvement. The thought of actual geniuses in top universities excited me; I long to learn from them and eventually surpass them, or perhaps enter a never ending race for knowledge with them. I used to live an hour away from school. I would have to wake up and be dropped off at a donut shop at 4 in the morning and then walk to school at 6:30 am. After school, I would have to walk to the public library and stay for as long as it was open then wait outside and get picked up around 9:30 pm. I am reluctant to retell this story; not because I am ashamed, but because it is not important. It doesn't matter what hardships I have endured, they do not determine who I am. What matters is what I have done.

At the start of high school, I saw nothing but success. From grades to extracurricular activities, everything seemed to be going smoothly. However, as my sophomore year progressed, this wave of success was soon swamped by a wave of disillusionment. I struggled to perform in Calculus and as a Vice-President, but instead of looking for a solution, I looked for excuses. Ultimately, when I was forced to face my two F’s and my lost elections, the world came crashing down. The vision I had meticulously planned out for the future seemed to shatter before my eyes. My self-confidence plummeted to an all-time low. I thought my life was over.

However, my response to this failure was what would ultimately determine the direction my life would take. In the end, I made the right choice: instead of continuing to blind myself with a false narrative that cast all the blame off my own shoulders, I admitted to my own shortcomings and used this experience as a lesson to grow from.

In doing so, I learned to focus on the aspects of my life that I was truly passionate about instead of spreading myself too thin. I learned to face challenges head-on instead cowering at the first sign of difficulty, even if it meant asking others for help. I learned to accept and utilize my own differences to create my own unique leadership style. Most importantly, rather than letting this mistake define me, I ignited a sense of determination that would guide me back on the right path no matter how many obstacles I encounter.

Looking back, this tragic mistake was a double-edged sword. While it definitely leaves a stain on my record, it is also likely that I wouldn’t have been able to find the same success a year later without the lessons I gained from this experience. At the end of the day, while I still grimace every time I contemplate my sophomore year, I understand now that this mistake is what has allowed me to develop into the person I am today.

Throughout my childhood, I grew up in a nine-person household where the channels of our TV never left the Filipino drama station and the air always smelled of Filipino food. But the moment I left home, I would go to a typical suburban elementary school as an average American kid at the playground. I grew up in a unique position which I both love and hate: being a second-generation Filipino American.

I love being a second-generation immigrant. I have the best of both worlds. But I also hate it. It chains me to this ongoing struggle of living under the high expectations of immigrant parents. How could I hate the part of me that I loved the most?

Growing up, I lived under the constant academic stress that my parents placed on me. Their expectations were through the roof, demanding that I only bring home A’s on my report card. My entire academic career was based on my parent’s expectations. Their eyes beat down on every test score I received. I loved them so much, but I could only handle so much. The stress ate me alive, but I silently continued to work hard.

Living under this stress is the biggest ongoing challenge of my life thus far. Until last year, I never understood why my parents expected so much from me. Finally being old enough to understand my parent’s point of view, I realize that they set these high expectations in the hopes that one day, all of the pain and struggles it took to get to America will pay off. Since then, I’ve overcome the high expectations of my parents by converting their pressure into a fireball of ambition and motivation, deeply ingrained in my mentality.

This intense desire to succeed in America as a second-generation immigrant is something that has and always will fuel my academic drive. As the first person in my family to go to college in America, I’ve made it my life aspiration to succeed in academics in the honor of my family-- a decision made by me.

UC PIQ #6: Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom. (350 words max)

Understanding the past helps us make better choices in today’s society. History provides us with the views of people and politics, the ethnic origin of people, and much more. At the base of all history, there is an intensive culmination of research which hopes to address or bring light to a story.

My passion for history began while digging deep into own family’s story, researching the history of Latin America, and the origins of the city I was raised in.

For example, when I first saw my favorite show Avatar The Last Airbender, I spent hours researching the mythology of the show which in the process made me learn about the philosophy of China: daoism, Confucius, and the mandate of heaven. Anything can be put within a historical framework to understand the context; every decision, tv show, and law has a history and that is exactly what I love. History forces us to take into account the voices of the past before we can attempt to plan for the future.

History has helped me become a more effective writer for the school paper. It has made me think like a attorney, revisiting old cases, and writing up a winning argument in a mock trial. Thinking like a historian has helped me make sense of the current political climate and motivated me to help start Students For Liberty, at my school’s campus where political ideologies are shared respectfully.

Learning, about history drives my inquisitive nature — I demonstrated this desire by volunteering at a local museum to learn more about the origins of my community in Carson. Ultimately, learning about the Dominguez family who established the Harbor Area of LA.

In terms of academics and performance, I have passed both of my history AP exams in World and U.S. history — being the 2nd person in my school’s history to do so. Studying history in highschool has nurtured my love for social science, which I hope to continue in college and throughout my life.

Ever since I was little, I have possessed a unique fascination for nature and the way it interacts with itself. As I sat in the prickly seats of old tour buses and the bilingual tour guide has silenced himself for the dozens of passengers that have closed their curtains and fallen into deep slumber, I would keep my eyes glued to the window, waiting to catch a glimpse of wild animals and admiring the beautiful scenery that mother nature had pieced together. At Outdoor Science Camp, while most of my friends were fixated on socializing and games, I was obsessed with finding every organism in the book. Nothing else caught my attention quite like ecology.

As high school dragged on and the relentless responsibilities, assignments, and tests washed away the thrill of learning, ecology was one interest that withstood the turmoil. At the end of a draining day, I would always enjoy relaxing to articles detailing newly discovered species or relationships between species.

This past summer, I was able to further this interest when a unique opportunity to volunteer abroad caught my eye. Flying over to the beautiful tropical shorelines of the Dominican Republic, I was able to dive into the frontlines of the battle against climate change, dwindling populations, and habitat destruction brought about by mankind, and I enjoyed every moment of it.

While everyone was obviously ecstatic about snorkeling in the crystal blue waters, only I was able to retain that same excitement about trekking through knee thick mud and mosquito infested forests to replant mangrove trees. While tracking animal populations, my heart leaped at the sight of every new species that swam right in front of my eyes. Even when it came to the dirty work of building structures to rebuild coral and picking up trash along the beach, I always found myself leading the pack, eager to start and do the most.

From this experience, I realized that pursuing the field of ecology was what I could picture myself doing far into the future, and this was how I was going to impact the world.

UC PIQ #7: What have you done to make your school or your community a better place? (350 words max)

Originally I saw volunteer work as a nuisance. I felt that it was an unnecessary "requirement" for college. I felt that someone decided to do volunteer work while in high school and now it has become the norm and is essentially required for college. Once I began to get involved, however, I found a true appreciation for the work I was doing.

I loved helping people and, as always, wanted to challenge myself. I worked at the Bellflower Volunteer center and tutored kids every day available, as well as helping out with large special events put on by the city. I then joined Key Club and made it my mission to attend every single event no matter what; even going to the lengths to walk for 4 hours starting at 5 in the morning (it was still dark outside) for a 2-hour beach clean up. I then became Service Event Coordinator and also made it my mission to have an event every week, while attending all of them, while still working at the Volunteer Center. I also started a tutoring program in math at my school as I really enjoy helping my peers academically.

It always warmed my heart to see fellow ninjas( our division mascot) at events I had planned, friends and neighbors at Bellflower events, and CSF members at tutoring.I am always willing to help people with anything. If someone needs my help I will stop whatever I am doing to help in any way that I can. Lending a helping hand is an important part of our society; however, a helping hand cannot do anything if the other hand does not reach for it as well. We need to be able to help ourselves first before others can help us. I tried to create a community where I could help people, but also people could help themselves so that there is no reason for anyone to not be able to achieve their goals and aspirations.

Throughout my childhood, the phrases “get good grades” and “make money” constantly harassed my every waking moment. Life seemed pointless, a never-ending cycle of trying to make more money to create artificial happiness. However, through partaking in my middle school’s ASB, I discovered my love for helping others, and I realized that I wanted to make my life about changing the world and leaving behind a better future for the generations to come.

In an attempt to live up to this philosophy, I have performed hundreds of hours of community service. From volunteering at a senior home to distributing food to the homeless, there is no doubt that I have made a substantial impact on those around me.

Despite all this, my most significant contributions are the ones that take place every day and are often undocumented. Picking up trash, staying long after my job is complete to help other groups, or even saying, “Thank you. Have a nice day,” to anyone who has provided a service for me are just a few examples. While they seem insignificant, these small actions add up.

However, above all, my biggest contribution is building meaningful connections with the people around me and making sure they realize how special and important they are to me and everyone else. In nurturing those who are less experienced, assisting those who are struggling with their emotions or their studies, and inspiring those who have untapped potential, I am not merely applying a band-aid on a wound, but elevating a whole community around me to tackle and prevent ailments the next decades will bring.

Years from now, I will likely have forgotten about my modest academic achievements. However, the memories of seeing someone I had mentored blossom into a strong leader and the smiles and laughter of someone I’ve helped battle through depression will forever be ingrained in my mind.

Serving food at school carnivals, embellishing the local marsh, tutoring students after school, and discharging patients at my local hospital were some of the ways I actively supported my city. However, a distinct way of being engaged in my community involved being selected for the Youth Development Program last summer. This organization works with the Torrance Refinery and selects thirty out of hundreds of applicants. The first week of this program involved activities that trained students for college and eventually their careers by making them adept in communication, leadership, and teamwork skills. For the next four weeks, students were assigned a specific job around the City of Torrance and Torrance Unified School District (TUSD).

I was placed in the TUSD Information Technology Department, along with six other students, and we essentially helped deal with technology-based issues around the district. Even though my professional desire incorporates biology and chemistry, I had a compelling interest and math and technology. I gave back to my community by utilizing the technological skills I gained at work. My colleagues and I traveled daily to several schools around the district and assisted in technological advancements: testing network ports and preparing schools for newer phones, imaging and updating new laptops and desktops, and arranging and setting up new computer labs and Chrome book carts.

Today, many people globally use technological and visual aids to assist their education. My summer job also allowed me to make a difference in the education of others. With the faster internet, newer telephones and computers, teachers could instruct more efficiently and students can be educated more effectively, thus improving their academic performance in the future. This program helped me a lot by boosting my teamwork and leadership skills, which will be extremely valuable as I will be pursuing many president/vice-president positions in my senior year. However, this program has allowed me to make a stronger impact on other people rather than myself; I feel delighted that my work in summer will be beneficial to twenty-thousand students across Torrance.

UC PIQ #8: Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes you stand out as a strong candidate for admissions to the University of California? (350 words max)

In 2011, I started at a newly built school spanning sixth to twelfth grade. The school’s inception was not the greatest with gang culture and issues plaguing the school and nearby community. From this moment I knew wanted to make a change, improving the school and local community.

For example, two years ago a bicyclist was crushed by a container truck across the street from my school, several peers of mine and I advocated for a bike lane to get installed on the street to protect cyclists from the busy traffic. I worked day and night for three weeks using my connection with the city’s public works director to meet with city officials and make a change. I looked for solutions and ways to improve my community and lead the charge to better our street. When we met with city officials they agreed and ultimately approved our bike lane proposal. This civic action started with a group of three concerned high school students, in which I helped facilitate the conversations resulting into a bike lane project, that will be built the summer of 2018 after I graduate high school. Ultimately helping solve an issue in my community.

Using my influence as part of the Associated Student Body I advocated for a new medical academy on my school’s campus to address the growing interest in medicine and health careers of many students at my school. While I am not personally interested in a health related field, I recognized that many students at my school did and teachers agreed. I came in as an intermediary, who because of my position in ASB was also a member of my School’s Shared Leadership Council (SLC), through these means I motivated other ASB officers to support the academy’s inception and after a grueling amount of meetings in which we went through logistics the academy was approved for the benefit of students.

I am a student who will attend a UC pursuing my passions in journalism, education, and history; while being an involved student making the campus a better place than when I first arrived.

Rather than relying on pure intellect, I choose to excel through continual self-improvement, my ability to overpower obstacles, and an unrelenting force of determination. There are thousands of students smarter than me, students with better test scores, students with more volunteer hours, and quite possibly, a more socially acceptable sense of humor. I can assert, however, that my determination and ambition is hard to match.

I am willing to look in the face of the impossible without fear; in fact, the only emotion flowing through my body would be excitement. There are thousands of intelligent students, however many are unable or are unwilling to utilize their full potential. Although not a genius, I have shown my ability to improve drastically in capability over time.

At some point in my middle school career I was not technically supposed to still be enrolled because my grades were too low; now I'm on track to be valedictorian of my class. I am willing to do whatever it takes to meet my goal; if there were a service event across the country I would be willing to walk the entire way; if I could take a million AP's I would. I understand that it is a big jump to go from Bellflower High School to a UC in terms of academic difficulty; however, that is part of the excitement. I am not afraid of failure, it does nothing but make me stronger. Am I capable of making a jump of such a magnitude? It is not my judgment to make; I am only here to try.

The spin-the-wheel slows down and eventually stops at ‘try again next time’. That is, until I secretly push it one slot over to ‘princess tiara’. As the child hurries away to the next carnival game with the tiara in her hair, her mom turns back at me with a warm smile and mouths the words “thank you”. Seeing genuine happiness in the people of my community while volunteering at events such as my school carnival always remind me why I love my community so much.

I hold a lot of pride in how I’ve become a prominent figure in my community. From volunteering at festivals for my local elementary school to becoming employed by the City of American Canyon Parks and Recreation Department, I relish being in the hub of the community. I love our annual Fourth of July parades and Easter egg hunts, where I am stopped every 15 minutes to catch up with the crazy kids I worked with at summer camp or even just with the staff I’ve met from school. Growing up and connecting with such a diverse community is and will always be a large part of who I am. From kindergarten up until my senior year of high school, both my small community and I as an individual have grown immensely. By volunteering at local events, connecting with the people of my community, and finally getting employed by my city, I know that I have contributed to the successful growth of my community.

Although I really love my community here in the small town of American Canyon, I cannot help but think of the other great communities that I can potentially be a part of as well. I believe that by going to the University of California, I will be able to thrive in the liveliness of the communities that the campuses are well-known for. A major contribution I believe that I can bring to the University of California is integrating, being involved in, and building the school’s community so that both I and the school can grow together for each other.

What can you learn from these UC Berkeley essays?

If you want to get into UC Berkeley in 2022, you need to write great essays that help make you stand out. From these 18 Berkeley essays that worked, here are some takeaways:

• Use specific examples of places and events (name them) ( #8 , #17 )
• Tell a story ( #6 , #18 , #7 )
• Demonstrate your background, identity, or culture ( #3 , #15 , #4 )

If you enjoyed these UC Berkeley essays, you'll also like reading our top UCLA essays that worked. They answer the same PIQ prompts, but quite differently.

Applying to other public universities? Check out these awesome University of Michigan essays.

Let me know, which UC Berkeley essay was your favorite and why?

Meet the Author

Ryan Chiang

I'm Ryan Chiang and I created EssaysThatWorked.com - a website dedicated to helping students and their families apply to college with confidence & ease. We publish the best college admissions essays from successful applicants every year to inspire and teach future students.

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2023 Ultimate Guide: 20 UC Essay Examples

by Winning Ivy Prep Team | Mar 8, 2023 | UC Admissions , UC Personal Insight Essay Examples

Additional UC essay resources:

• Official UC Personal Insight Question prompts are here.
• Read our UC Essay / UC Personal Insight Essay Tips

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A Comprehensive Guide to UC Berkeley Essays this 2024

By Eric Eng

The University of California (UC) school system is one of the prestigious state university systems in the United States. It includes nine undergraduate universities: UC Berkeley, UC San Diego, UCLA, UC Santa Barbara, UC Santa Cruz, UC Davis, UC Riverside, UC Merced, and UC Irvine.

The University of California system has its own application portal. All nine universities use one application, so it is more convenient for students to simultaneously apply to multiple UC campuses. Based on last year’s statistics, UC Berkeley has an overall acceptance rate of 9.3%. 

In this blog, we will provide you with everything you need to know about the UC Berkeley essays including UC Berkeley essay prompts, and answer all your UC application questions , to hello you nail your application.

What is UC Berkeley’s Acceptance Rate?

Based on the previous years, the average acceptance rate at UC Berkeley is 11.4%, making it very competitive. However, one needs to note that the acceptance rate is not only a mark of the competitiveness of a school but also of its popularity. If you want to get into prestigious schools like UC Berkeley, you’re going to have to do amazingly well in almost every major college application factor.

UC Berkeley does not offer early action or early decision. The number of in-state students applying for admission to the Fall 2023 semester reached a record high. The admission rate for the University of California Berkeley has been spiraling down year by year, partly due to the steep rise in the number of applicants. With a rising number of students applying , it has become hard to get into.

GPA Requirements at UC Berkeley

You will likely need to be in the top 10% of graduates of your batch with a high GPA to be admitted into UC Berkeley. Anything less will need to be compensated through relevant extracurriculars and UC Berkeley essays.

You’re probably going to have to take higher-level classes like AP and IB classes if you want to be competitive for Berkeley. UC Berkeley describes how it calculates weighted GPA. UC Berkeley’s website indicates that it does so using 10th and 11th-grade UC-approved courses only. Every semester of coursework completed in an honors-level course adds an extra point when computing your weighted GPA.

UC Berkeley is considered “Test Free” which means that the SAT/ACT scores do not factor in anywhere within the UC Berkeley application process. Although SAT/ACT scores will not affect admission decisions, Berkeley will consider them for placement or subject credit in the case of admission. Berkeley also accepts optional subject test scores as a value-added piece in the review process, which enables students to show advanced proficiency in specific academic subjects. Check out their website to learn more about the recent changes regarding the Berkeley Testing Policy.

Why are UC Berkeley Supplemental Essays Important?

UC’s Personal Insight Questions (PIQs) or commonly known as UC Berkeley supplemental essays have become integral to their application system, which only happened recently in relation to the United States standardized testing policy. 

It wasn’t until May 2020, with the pandemic affecting the educational system of the US that the UC Board of Regents voted to make all their universities test-optional for students applying for Fall 2021 and Fall 2022.

To general surprise, the UC system which receives more than a quarter-million applicants annually decided it would go “test-blind” moving forward, despite internal data finding that test scores do help in predicting undergraduate achievement. This means that none of the nine schools listed above will look at an applicant’s SAT or ACT score anymore. So what’s the takeaway here, for you, an aspiring UC applicant? Simple: UC Berkeley essays matter now more than ever. Your writing will be your main chance to prove yourself worthy of being accepted to any of the UC institutions.

What Does UC Berkeley Want in Applicants?

If you’re an aspiring UC Berkeley student, keep in mind that while competitive grades are important, UC Berkeley essays should be able to show more than simply academic achievements. Most importantly, they should highlight how you are going to make an active contribution to the Berkeley community. The question now is, how will you know that you can contribute to the Berkeley community?

First, read up on the Berkeley mission, history, and principles . Go through UC’s mission statement, Berkeley’s principles of community, and discussions that the school has on leadership. Notice how leadership, authenticity, and innovation are the recurring themes. UC Berkeley essays often reflect the university’s search for students not just passionate about solving global problems, but also committed to making a difference that will matter for generations to come. They want students to “contribute even more than California’s gold to the glory and happiness of advancing generations.”

How do you think you’ll fit into this mission and these values? What is your story that indicates that you have worked toward these things and that Berkeley is the place for you to take the next step? How are you and the Berkeley community going to explore new ideas, ask thought-provoking questions, and strive to improve the world?

How to Answer UC Berkeley Essays?

What is different about the UC Berkeley essays from other college essays, is that UC outright prefer factual responses.

Since you should still plan to write with attention to syntax and style, the UC is most interested in information versus style. You will not have to worry about an interesting hook, thoughtful metaphors, or a high level of descriptive language. Focus instead on measurable contributions, if you can, and their impact both on you and others. For example, if you were able to develop a simple app or innovative tool that you use at home, explain why you created it, and how, and if possible, include how many people use it and why. Put it as simply and clearly as possible.

Remember, UC admission officers are reading pretty fast, and you want to get your message across effectively. Also, keep in mind that every UC PIQ response should not be more than 350 words, and you have to consistently meet this word count across all prompts.

What are the UC Berkeley Essay Prompts?

In this section, we will provide you with a rundown of all the UC Berkeley essay questions as well as a deep dive into how to answer them efficiently.

UC Essay Prompt #1

Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes or contributed to group efforts over time.

The concept of leadership is open and expansive– you can stretch out its definition. This definition doesn’t necessarily have to come in the essay itself—though, if you have a more reflective structure, it certainly might. UC Berkeley essays often encourage applicants to explore different facets of leadership, such as ‘being a positive role model,’ ‘encouraging others to take risks,’ and ’embracing challenges as a leader.’

The leadership role can mean more than the title itself. This can mean you became a mentor for someone, took charge of a school organization, or led an event or project. UC Berkeley essays provide an opportunity to reflect on what you did and what you learned from these experiences. What were your responsibilities? What challenges did you overcome?

Other questions worth noting are the following: Did you help manage a team? How did that experience change your perspective about leading others? Did you help resolve an important dispute at your school, community, or organization? And your leadership role doesn’t necessarily have to be limited to school activities. For example, do you help out or take care of your family? Do you volunteer at the local youth center?

Applicants should share one small story here to illustrate their leadership. Rather than telling the UC admissions committee what great leaders they are, they can show it through their specific examples. It’s not required for it to be a picture-perfect illustration of leadership—it can be one that was faced with a difficult situation and what they learned from that experience to become better leaders.

UC Essay Prompt #2

Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving , original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side.

This prompt asks about one specific thing—creativity—but gives you the liberty to define it for yourself. I n UC Berkeley essays, you can opt to look at creativity as a special problem-solving skill, innovative thinking, or its basic essence: artistic expression. This broad definition of creativity does something rather nice: it allows you to determine how much of your personal life versus your academic life you want to write about.

With that said, because this prompt is so open, it is important to establish a focus early on. Try to think about what is missing from your application. If you’re worried about your application making you sound overly academic, use this prompt to show how you have fun. If you’re concerned that your application is making you seem like one of those kids who gets good grades just because you have a good memory, this is your chance to flex your problem-solving muscle.

Remember, too, that you don’t need to describe any skill in creative pursuits when answering this prompt. The question asks how you express your ‘creative side,’ which focuses on creative instinct, not creative talent. Some examples could be: if you love mathematics, you can write about a time when you devised a new way of proving theorems. If you’re fond of writing, you can talk about a time when you came up with a new idea for a short story featuring modern-day gods and goddesses and how they acclimate in the 21st century. Or if you’re deep into philosophy, maybe write about how different philosophers could solve one present-day issue—for example, climate change. How would Aristotle approach it? Or Kant, for example?

Some meaningful points of discussion for UC Berkeley essays could include the following: How can your creativity best be used? What is one creative ability of yours that is particularly meaningful, and how have you brought it into play? If you used creativity in solving a problem, what did your solution look like? How does your creativity influence your decisions inside or outside class? Does your creativity relate to your major or to a future career?

UC Essay Prompt #3

What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time?

This is the time to crow a little. If there is a talent or skill of which you are proud, UC Berkeley essays provide the perfect opportunity to share it. You do not necessarily have to have received recognition for it—but the important part is to answer or show why this talent or skill is meaningful to you.

Do you feel like this talent is naturally given, or do you work hard to keep this skill or talent? If so, does it give you an opening either inside the classroom or outside the classroom? If yes, what are they, and how do they fit into your schedule? These are the types of reflections that UC Berkeley essays often encourage.

Some students have more obvious talents and skills than others. For example, if you intend to be a college athlete, it would make sense to see your skill at your sport as your greatest talent. Meanwhile, if you are being accepted into a highly selective music performance program, opera singing might be your greatest talent. UC Berkeley essays challenge you to use such obvious skills to explore your personality, values, motivations, and ambitions.

The key to writing a convincing essay about an obvious skill is using that skill to explore your personality, values, motivations, and ambitions. Begin by thinking about what first drew you to your specialization. Was there a specific person or childhood memory? What was that process like? What do these experiences say about you? Next, think about how your relationship with your talent has evolved. Have you ever doubted your devotion? Ever wondered if you are good enough? Why do you keep going? On the other hand, is your talent your comfort—the stable thing in your life? Why do you need that?

The key is to clarify the reasons for engaging in this activity with all one’s time worth—and how these personality strengths are visible through the relationship with the activity.

If you’re not confident enough in sharing your talent, you might try thinking about your personal traits that could be seen as a talent or skill: negotiation skills, the ability to make a joke or lighten a situation in painful times, and organizational skills.

UC Essay Prompt #4

Describe how you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity or worked to overcome an educational barrier you have faced.

For this prompt, an educational opportunity can be anything that adds value to your educational experience and better prepares you for college. This may include participation in an honors or academic enrichment program, or enrollment in an academy focusing on an occupation or major with advanced courses in subjects of interest. UC Berkeley essays provide a platform to showcase how such opportunities have shaped your journey.

If you write about the educational barriers you have faced, how have you overcome or striven to overcome them? What personal characteristics or skills did you call upon to enable you to rise above the challenge? How did overcoming this barrier help shape who you are today? These are critical reflections that UC Berkeley essays encourage you to explore.

The phrase ‘taken advantage of’ implies that the admissions committee wishes to see students who take initiative. For example, are you a student who has been in an after-school, career-advancement program since middle school? You may write about why you chose to do so. Or perhaps you struggled in a particular subject and didn’t want to fall behind because you had sights on getting into the National Junior Honor Society? Or maybe a friend mentioned a program facilitating internship opportunities, and you thought they wanted to look into therapy as a potential career path. You could discuss these for this prompt.

If you’re planning to discuss educational barriers like limited access to resources or technology, lack of educational role models, or the most common one, financial difficulties—consider highlighting personal qualities or skills that provided the foundation for overcoming the obstacle. How was the process of overcoming your academic hurdle formative for you as a person? What was revealed to you about yourself or the world in the process? A bonus here would be to write about paying it forward in terms of helping others in your community to have the same knowledge you gleaned from your experience.

UC Essay Prompt #5

Describe the most significant challenge you have faced and the steps you have taken to overcome this challenge. How has this challenge affected your academic achievement?

Keep in mind that there are three parts to this prompt: first, you have to identify the challenge; second, describe the ways you took to overcome the challenge; and third, connect the challenge to your academic achievement. UC Berkeley essays require you to clearly indicate these three aspects.

You can begin by thinking of challenges and setbacks that you faced and were able to overcome. For some, these might be economic struggles, familial challenges—such as divorce, a parent losing a job, or living in the shadow of a sibling who is a star athlete or top student—personal illness, or a learning disability. UC Berkeley essays encourage you to explore these challenges deeply. Your challenge does not need to be structural —for example, it could involve feeling overshadowed by a sibling, dealing with body image issues, or overcoming insecurity.

This could be a personal challenge that you overcame, or one that affected others in your community or school . What made this challenge an important one? UC Berkeley essays also provide a good space to discuss the difficulties you faced and what you learned from the situation. Did you have the help of others, or did you take it on alone?

At the moment, if you are walking through a challenge, what are you doing right now, and how does this impact different domains of your life? For example, ask yourself: how has my life changed at home, at school, with my friends, or with my family?

UC Essay Prompt #6

Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom.

Many students find a passion within just one specific area of academic study. If you are one of these students, UC Berkeley essays provide a great platform to showcase what you have done to pursue this interest. Describe how your interest in the subject developed and discuss any experience you have had inside and outside the classroom, such as volunteer work, internships, employment, summer programs, and participation in student organizations or clubs , and what you gained from your involvement.

To answer this efficiently in your UC Berkeley essays, you could consider the following: Has the subject been a factor of interest in your choice of major and/or future career choice? Have you been able to take advanced work in this subject through honors, AP, IB, or college/university courses? Are you interested and motivated by the opportunity to take this subject further at UC, and how might you do so?

For example, if all of your activities are related to math and coding, you should talk about the origin of your interest in the subject matter—what made you fall in love with numbers and sequences? What made you want to dedicate a solid four years of your life to it? Once you’ve figured out the subject that you’re most interested in and inspired by, think about a concrete example of how you’ve furthered your interest in the subject. UC Berkeley essays often highlight common ways students further their interests, such as reading and researching about their passion, engaging with media related to it, joining clubs or organizations, and applying for internships.

UC Essay Prompt #7

What have you done to make your school or your community a better place?

This prompt asks for a definition of your role in a community: your high school, neighborhood, family, or perhaps within a club or sports team. UC Berkeley essays encourage you to explore this deeply, but nothing high-profile is required. This is more a question about how you relate to others, your value system, your charitable nature, and how you interact with the world around you. What UC Berkeley essays seek here is an opportunity for a truly heartfelt, sincere story.

For this question, the most important element is not the name or classification of the community you select, but how you define your position in that community. UC Berkeley essays want to know: How are you special in your community? What would be lacking from your community if you weren’t there? It could also be how you are a role model, an advocate for change, a supporting system for its members, or a corrector when the community steers away from its values and principles.

For example, if you’re holding a leadership position in your local volunteer community shelter, did you start an initiative when a flash flood happened? Did you provide resources for out-of-school youth? Did you start a literacy program for kids whose parents are in jail? You may share these initiatives for this question in your UC Berkeley essays.

If you are describing a specific service that you provided to your community, you may want to briefly comment on what you learned through it and how you will continue to learn in the future.

UC Essay Prompt #8

Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes you stand out as a strong candidate for admission to the University of California?

If there is anything you want UC to know about you but didn’t find a question or place in the application to share, now’s your chance. What haven’t you shared that will highlight a skill, talent, challenge, or opportunity that you think will help UC know you better?

Since the University of California is unique in application and does not subscribe to the Common App, this prompt is an excellent opportunity for applicants to include a succinct version of their 650-word Common Applications personal statement.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. does uc berkeley use the common app.

No, the UC System has its own application portal.

2. Does UC Offer Early Action or Early Decision?

No, UC does not offer early action or early decision. 

3. Can You Use ChatGPT to Answer UC Berkeley Essays?

No. Admissions officers want to read authentic, human writing and experiences. This cannot be provided by AI-generated content.

At AdmissionSight, our goal is to help you with every step of the college admissions process. The UC Berkeley essays can seem daunting at first, but our experience and expertise will help you navigate the entire process with confidence. Hopefully, this guide to the UC Berkeley essays has been helpful, but if you want more information about how AdmissionSight can help you realize your dreams, set up your free consultation today!

Want to assess your chances of admission? Take our FREE chances calculator today!

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12 Great University of California Essay Examples

What’s covered, essay #1: leadership, essay #2: creativity, essay #3: creativity, essay #4: creativity, essay #5: talent, essay #6: talent, essay #7: academic interest, essay #8: academic interest, essay #9: community, essay #10: community, essay #11: community, essay #12: community.

The University of California system is comprised of nine undergraduate universities, and is one of the most prestigious public school systems in the country. The UC schools have their own application system, and students must respond to four of eight personal insight questions in 350 words each. Every UC school you apply to receives the same application and essays, so it’s important that your responses accurately represent your personality and writing abilities. 

In this post, we’ll share some UC essay examples and go over what they did well and where they could improve. We will also point you to free resources you can use to improve your college essays. 

Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized. 

Read our guide to the UC personal insight questions for more tips on writing strong essays for each of the prompts.

Prompt: Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes, or contributed to group efforts over time. (350 words)

1400 lines of code. 6 weeks. 1 Pizza.

I believe pizza makers are the backbone of society. Without pizza, life as we know it would cease to exist. From a toddler’s birthday party to President Obama’s sporadic campaigning cravings, these 8 slices of pure goodness cleverly seep into every one of our lives; yet, we never talk about it. In a very cheesy way, I find representation in a pizza maker. 

The most perplexing section of physiology is deciphering electrocardiograms. According to our teacher, this was when most students hit their annual trough. We had textbooks and worksheets, but viewing printed rhythms and attempting to recognize them in real-time is about as straining as watching someone eat pizza crust-first. Furthermore, online simulators were vastly over-engineered, featuring complex interfaces foreign to high-school students.

Eventually, I realized the only way to pull myself out of the sauce was by creating my own tools. This was also the first year I took a programming course, so I decided to initiate a little hobbyist experiment by extrapolating knowledge from Computer Science and Physiology to code and share my own Electrocardiogram Simulator. To enhance my program, I went beyond the textbook and classroom by learning directly from Java API – the programmer’s Bible.

The algorithms I wrote not only simulated rhythms in real-time but also actively engaged with the user, allowing my classmates and I to obtain a comprehensive understanding of the curriculum. Little did I know that a small project born out of desperation would eventually become a tool adopted by my teacher to serve hundreds of students in the future.

Like pizza, people will reap the benefits of my app over and over again, and hardly anyone will know its maker. Being a leader doesn’t always mean standing at the front of rallies, giving speeches, and leading organizations. Yes, I have done all three, but this app taught me leaders are also found behind-the-scenes, solving problems in unimaginable ways and fulfilling the hidden, yet crucial niches of the world. 

1400 lines of code, and 6 weeks later, it’s time to order a pizza. 

What the Essay Did Well

This is a great essay because it is both engaging and informative. What exactly does it inform us about? The answer: the personality, work ethic, and achievements of this student (exactly what admissions officers want to hear about).

With regards to personality, the pizza through-line—which notably starts the essay, ends the essay, and carries us through the essay—speaks volumes about this student. They are admittedly “cheesy,” but they appear unabashedly themself. They own their goofiness. That being said, the student’s pizza connections are also fitting and smoothly advance their points—watching someone eat pizza crust-first is straining and pizza is an invention that hardly anyone can identify the maker of. 

While we learn about this student’s fun personality in this essay, we also learn about their work ethic. A student who takes the initiative to solve a problem that no one asked them to solve is the kind of student an admissions officer wants to admit. The phrase “I decided to initiate a little hobbyist experiment” alone tells us that this student is a curious go-getter.

Lastly, this student tells us about their achievements in the last two paragraphs. Not only did they take the initiative to create this program, but it was also successful. On top of that, it’s notable how this student’s accomplishments as a leader defy the traditional expectations people have for leaders. The student’s ability to demonstrate their untraditional leadership path is an achievement in itself that sets the student apart form other applicants.

What Could Be Improved

This is a strong essay as is, but the one way this student could take it above and beyond would be to tell less and show more. To really highlight the student’s writing ability, the essay should  show the reader all the details it’s currently telling us. For example, these sentences primarily tell the reader what happened: “The most perplexing section of physiology is deciphering electrocardiograms. According to our teacher, this was when most students hit their annual trough.” 

Rewriting this sentence to show the reader the student’s impetus for creating their app could look like this: “When my teacher flashed the electrocardiogram on the screen, my once attentive physiology class became a sea of blank stares and furrowed brows.” This sentence still conveys the key details—student’s in the physiology class found electrocardiograms to be the hardest unit of the year—but it does so in a far more descriptive way. Implementing this exercise of rewriting sentences to show what happened throughout the piece would elevate the entire essay.

Prompt: Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side. (350 words)

For the past few years, participating in debate has been one of the foremost expressions of my creativity. Nothing is as electrifying as an Asian parliamentary-style debate. Each team is given only thirty minutes to prepare seven-minute speeches to either support or oppose the assigned motion. Given the immense time pressure, this is where my creativity shines most brightly.

To craft the most impactful and convincing argument, I have to consider the context of the motion, different stakeholders, the goals we want to achieve, the mechanisms to reach those goals, and so much more. I have to frame these arguments effectively and paint a compelling and cohesive world to sway my listeners to my side on both an emotional and logical level. For example, In a debate about the implementation of rice importation in the Philippines, I had to frequently switch between the macro perspective by discussing the broad economic implications of the policy and the micro perspective by painting a picture of the struggles that local rice farmers would experience when forcefully thrust into an increasingly competitive global economy. It’s a tough balancing act.

To add to the challenge, there is an opposing team on the other side of the room hell-bent on disproving everything I say. They generate equally plausible sounding arguments, and my mission is to react on the spot to dispel their viewpoints and build up our team’s case.

When two debate teams, both well-prepared and hungry for victory, face off and try to out-think one another, they clash to form a sixty-minute thunderstorm raining down fierce arguments and rebuttals. They fill up a room with unbelievable energy. After several years of debate, I have developed the capacity to still a room of fury and chaos with nothing but my words and wit.

Debate has been instrumental in shaping me into the person I am today. Because of debate, I have become a quicker and stronger thinker. Lightning quick on my feet, I am ready to thoroughly and passionately defend my beliefs at a moment’s notice.

This prompt is about creativity, though its wording emphasizes how students aren’t required to talk about typically-creative subjects. That said, it might take a bit more work and explanation (even creativity, one could say) to position a logical process as creative. This student’s main strength is the way they convince the reader that debate is creative.

First, they identify how “Asian parliamentary-style debate” differs from other forms of debate, emphasizing how time constraints necessitate the use of creativity. Then, they explain how both the argument’s content (the goals and solutions they outline) and the argument’s composition (the way they frame the argument) must be creatively orchestrated to be convincing. 

To drive home the point that debate is a creative process, this student provides an example of how they structured their argument about rice importation in the Philippines. This essay is successful because, after reading it, an admissions officer has no doubt that this student can combine logic and creativity to think intellectually.

One aspect of this essay that could be improved is the language use. Although there are some creative metaphors like the “sixty-minute thunderstorm raining down fierce arguments”, the essay is lacking the extra oomph and wow-factor that carefully chosen diction provides. In the second paragraph, the student repeats the phrase “I have to” three different times when stronger, more active verbs could have been used.

Essays should always reflect the student’s natural voice and shouldn’t sound like every word came straight out of a thesaurus, but that doesn’t mean they can’t incorporate a bit of colorful language. If this student took the time to go through their essay and ask themself if an overused word could be replaced with a more exciting one, it would make the essay much more interesting to read.

As I open the door to the Makerspace, I am greeted by a sea of cubicle-like machines and I watch eagerly, as one of them completes the final layer of my print.

Much like any scientific experiment, my countless failures in the Makerspace – hours spent designing a print, only to have it disintegrate – were my greatest teachers. I learned, the hard way, what types of shapes and patterns a 3D printer would play nice to. Then, drawing inspiration from the engineering method, I developed a system for myself – start with a solid foundation and add complexity with each iteration – a flourish here, a flying buttress there. 

But it wasn’t until the following summer, vacationing on a beach inundated with plastic, that the “aha” moment struck. In an era where capturing people’s attention in a split-second is everything, what better way to draw awareness to the plastic problem than with quirky 3D-printed products? By the time I had returned home, I had a business case on my hands and a desire to make my impact.

Equipped with vital skills from the advanced math-and-science courses I had taken in sophomore year, I began applying these to my growing business. Using my AP Chemistry analytical laboratory skills, I devised a simple water bath experiment to test the biodegradability claims of 3D-printer filaments from different manufacturers, guaranteeing that my products could serve as both a statement and play their part for our planet. The optimization techniques I had learned in AP Calculus were put to good use, as I determined the most space-efficient packaging for my products, reducing my dependence on unsustainable filler material. Even my designs were tweaked and riffed on to reflect my newfound maturity and keen eye for aesthetics.

My business is still going strong today, raising $1000 to date. I attribute this success to a fateful spark of creative inspiration, which has, and will, continue to inspire me to weave together multiple disciplines to address issues as endemic as the plastic problem. 

This essay begins with a simple, yet highly effective hook. It catches readers’ attention by only giving a hint about the essay’s main topic, and being a standalone paragraph makes it all the more intriguing. 

The next paragraph then begins with a seamless transition that ties back to the Makerspace. The essay goes on to show the writer’s creative side and how it has developed over time. Rather than directly stating “I am most creative when I am working on my business,” the writer tells the story of their creativity while working with 3-D printers and vacationing on the beach. 

It is the “aha” moment that perhaps responds to the prompt best. Here we get to see the writer create a new idea on the spot. The next two paragraphs then show the writer executing on their idea in great detail. Small and specific details, such as applying analytical laboratory skills from AP Chemistry, make the writer’s creativity come to life. 

From start to finish, this essay shows that the key to writing a stellar response to this prompt is to fill your writing with details and vivid imagery. 

The second to last paragraph of this essay focuses a bit too much on how the writer built their business. Though many of these details show the writer’s creativity in action, a few of them could be restated to make the connection to creativity clearer. The last sentences could be rewritten like so: 

Working on my business was where my creativity blossomed. In my workshop, optimization techniques that I learned in AP Calculus became something new — the basis for space-efficient packaging for my products that reduced my dependence on unsustainable filler material…

Profusely sweating after trying on what felt like a thousand different outfits, I collapsed on the floor in exasperation. The heaping pile of clothes on my bed stared me down in disdain; with ten minutes left to spare before the first day of seventh grade, I let go of my screaming thoughts and settled on the very first outfit I tried on: my favorite.

Donning a neon pink dress, that moment marked the first time I chose expression over fear. Being one of the few Asians in my grade, clothing was my source of disguise. I looked to the bold Stacy London of What Not to Wear for daily inspiration, but, in actuality, I dressed to conceal my uniqueness so I wouldn’t be noticed for my race. Wearing jeans and a t-shirt, I envied the popular girls who hiked their shorts up just a few inches higher than dress code allowed and flaunted Uggs decorated with plastic jewels, a statement that Stacy London would have viewed as heinous and my mother impractical. 

However, entering school that day and the days after, each compliment I received walking down the hallways slowly but surely broke down the armored shield. Morphing into an outlet to amplify my voice and creativity, dressing up soon became what I looked forward to each morning. I was awarded best dressed the year after that during my middle school graduation, a recognition most would scoff at. But, to me, that flimsy paper certificate was a warm embrace telling me that I was valued for my originality and expression. I was valued for my differences. 

Confidence was what I found and is now an essential accessory to every outfit I wear. Taking inspiration from vintage, simplistic silhouettes and Asian styles, I adorn my body’s canvas with a variety of fabrics and vibrant colors, no longer depriving it of the freedom to self expression and cultural exploration. I hope that my future will open new doors for me, closet doors included, at the University of California with opportunities to intertwine creativity with my identity even further.

Colorful language and emotion are conveyed powerfully in this essay, which is one of its key strengths. We can see this in the first paragraph, where the writer communicates that they were feeling searing judgment by using a metaphor: “the heaping pile of clothes on my bed stared me down.” The writer weaves other rich phrases into the essay — for example, “my screaming thoughts” — to show readers their emotions. All of these writing choices are much more moving than plainly stating “I was nervous.”

The essay moves on to tell a story that responds to the prompt in a unique way. While typical responses will be about a very direct example of expressing creativity, e.g. oil painting, this essay has a fittingly creative take on the prompt. The story also allows the writer to avoid a common pitfall — talking more about the means of being creative rather than how those means allow you to express yourself. In other words, make sure to avoid talking about the act of oil painting so much that your essay loses focus on what painting means to you.

The last sentence of the essay is one more part to emulate. “I hope that my future will open new doors for me, closet doors included…” is a well-crafted, flawlessly succinct metaphor that looks to the future while connecting the end of the essay to its beginning. The metaphors are then juxtaposed with a summary of the essay’s main topic: “intertwine creativity with my identity.” 

This essay’s main areas for improvement are grammatical. What Not to Wear should be italicized, “self-expression” should be hyphenated, and the last sentence could use the following tweaks to make it less of a run-on: “I hope that my future will open new doors for me, closet doors included, at the University of California. There, I will have opportunities to intertwine creativity with my identity even further.”

Since identity is the main topic of this essay, it would also be fitting for the writer to go into more depth about it. The immediate takeaways from the essay are that the writer is Asian and interested in fashion — however, more descriptions could be added to these parts. For example, the writer could replace Asian with Laotian-American and change a sentence in the second to last paragraph to “dressing up in everything from bell bottom jeans to oversized flannel shirts soon became what I looked forward to each morning.”

Prompt: What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time? (350 words)

Let’s fast-forward time. Strides were made toward racial equality. Healthcare is accessible to all; however, one issue remains. Our aquatic ecosystems are parched with dead coral from ocean acidification. Climate change has prevailed.

Rewind to the present day.

My activism skills are how I express my concerns for the environment. Whether I play on sandy beaches or rest under forest treetops, nature offers me an escape from the haste of the world. When my body is met by trash in the ocean or my nose is met by harmful pollutants, Earth’s pain becomes my own. 

Substituting coffee grinds as fertilizer, using bamboo straws, starting my sustainable garden, my individual actions needed to reach a larger scale. I often found performative activism to be ineffective when communicating climate concerns. My days of reposting awareness graphics on social media never filled the ambition I had left to put my activism skills to greater use. I decided to share my ecocentric worldview with a coalition of environmentalists and host a climate change rally outside my high school.

Meetings were scheduled where I informed students about the unseen impact they have on the oceans and local habitual communities. My fingers were cramped from all the constant typing and investigating of micro causes of the Pacific Waste Patch, creating reusable flyers, displaying steps people could take from home in reducing their carbon footprint. I aided my fellow environmentalists in translating these flyers into other languages, repeating this process hourly, for five days, up until rally day. 

It was 7:00 AM. The faces of 100 students were shouting, “The climate is changing, why can’t we?” I proudly walked on the dewy grass, grabbing the microphone, repeating those same words. The rally not only taught me efficient methods of communication but it echoed my environmental activism to the masses. The City of Corona would be the first of many cities to see my activism, as more rallies were planned for various parts of SoCal. My once unfulfilled ambition was fueled by my tangible activism, understanding that it takes more than one person to make an environmental impact.

One of the largest strengths of this response is its speed. From the very beginning, we are invited to “fast-forward” and “rewind” with the writer. Then, after we focus ourselves in the present, this writer keeps their quick pace with sentences like “Substituting coffee grounds as fertilizer, using bamboo straws, starting my sustainable garden, my individual actions needed to reach a larger scale.” A common essay-writing blunder is using a predictable structure that loses the attention of the reader, but this unique pacing keeps things interesting.

Another positive of this essay is how their passion for environmental activism shines through. The essay begins by describing the student’s connection to nature (“nature offers me an escape from the haste of the world”), moves into discussing the personal actions they have taken (“substituting coffee grounds as fertilizer”), and then explains the rally the student hosted. While the talent the student is writing about is their ability to inspire others to fight against climate change, establishing the personal affinity towards nature and individual steps they took demonstrate the development of their passion. This makes their talent appear much more significant and unique. 

This essay could be improved by being more specific about what this student’s talent is. There is no sentence that directly states what this student considers to be their talent. Although the essay is still successful at displaying the student’s personality, interests, and ambition, by not explicitly mentioning their talent, they leave it up to the reader’s interpretation.

Depending on how quickly they read the essay or how focused they are, there’s a possibility the reader will miss the key talent the student wanted to convey. Making sure to avoid spoon-feeding the answer to their audience, the student should include a short sentence that lays out what they view as their main talent.

At six, Mama reads me a story for the first time. I listen right up until Peter Pan talks about the stars in the night sky. “What’s the point of stars if they can’t be part of something?” Mama looks at me strangely before closing the book. “Sometimes, looking on is more helpful than actively taking part. Besides, stars listen- like you. You’re a good listener, aren’t you?” I nod. At eleven, my sister confides in me for the first time. She’s always been different, in a way even those ‘mind doctors’ could never understand. I don’t understand either, but I do know that I like my sister. She’s mean to me, but not like people are to her. She tells me how she sees the world, and chokes over her words in a struggle to speak. She trusts me, and that makes me happy. So, I listen. I don’t speak; this isn’t a story where I speak. At sixteen, I find myself involved with an organization that provides education to rural children. Dakshata is the first person I’ve tutored in Hindi. She’s also my favorite. So, when she interrupts me mid-lesson one evening, lips trembling and eyes filling with tears, I decide to put my pen down and listen. I don’t speak; I don’t take part in this story. Later, as I hug the girl, I tell her about the stars and how her mother is among their kind- unable to speak yet forever willing to listen. Dakshata now loves the stars as much as I do. At seventeen, I realize that the first thing that comes to my mind when someone asks me about a skill I possess is my ability to listen. Many don’t see it as a skill, and I wouldn’t ask them to either, but it’s important. When you listen, you see, you need not necessarily understand, but you do comprehend. You empathize on a near-cosmic level with the people around you and learn so much more than you ever thought possible. Everything is a part of something- even the stars with their ears.

The essay as a whole is an excellent example of narrative-based writing. The narrative begins with a captivating hook. The first sentence catches the reader by surprise, since it does not directly respond to the prompt by naming the writer’s greatest talent or skill. Instead, it tells a childhood story which does not seem to be related to a skill at first. This creates intrigue, and the second sentence adds to it by introducing a conflict. It causes readers to wonder why Peter Pan’s stargazing would make a six year old stop listening — hooked into the story, they continue reading.

The writer continues to create a moving narrative by using dialogue. Dialogue allows the writer to show rather than tell , which is a highly effective way to make an essay convey emotion and keep readers’ attention. The writer also shows their story by using language such as “mind doctors” instead of “psychologists” — this immerses readers in the author’s perspective as an 11 year old at the time. 

Two motifs, or recurring themes, tie the essay together: listening and looking at the stars. The last paragraph powerfully concludes the essay by explaining these themes and circling back to the introduction.

Crafting transitions is one area where this essay could be improved. The paragraph after “I nod” begins abruptly, and without any sentence to connect the writer’s dialogue at age six with her experiences at age 11. One way to make the transition smoother would be to begin the paragraph after “I nod” with “I try to be a good listener again at eleven, when my sister confides in me for the first time.”

This essay would also be more impactful if the writer explained what they aspire to do with their ability to listen in the future. While it is most important for your essay to explain how your past experiences have made you who you are in the present, looking towards the future allows admissions readers to imagine the impact you might make after graduation. The writer could do this in the last paragraph of their essay by writing the following: “Many don’t see it as a skill, and I wouldn’t ask them to either, but I find it important — especially as an aspiring social worker.”

Prompt: Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom. (350 words)

I distinctly remember the smile on Perela’s face when she found out her mother would be nursed back to health. I first met Perela and her mother at the Lestonnac Free Clinic in San Bernardino where I volunteered as a Spanish translator. I was in awe of the deep understanding of biology that the medical team employed to discover solutions. Despite having no medical qualifications of my own, I realized that by exercising my abilities to communicate and empathize, I could serve as a source of comfort and encouragement for Perela and her mother. The opportunity to combine my scientific curiosity and passion for caring for people cultivated my interest in a career as a physician.

To further explore this interest, I attended a summer medical program at Georgetown University. I participated in lectures on circulation through the heart, practiced stitches on a chicken leg, and assisted in giving CPR to a dummy in the patient simulation laboratory. Every fact about the human body I learned brought with it ten new questions for me to research. I consistently stayed after each lecture to gain insight about how cells, tissues, and organs all work together to carry out immensely complicated functions. The next year, in my AP Biology class, I was further amazed with the interconnected biological systems as I learned about the relationships between the human body and ecosystems. I discussed with my teacher how environmental changes will impact human health and how we must broaden our perspectives to use medicine to tackle these issues.

By integrating environmental and medical science, we can develop effective solutions to reduce the adverse effects of environmental degradation that Perela’s mother may have faced unintentionally. I want to go into the medical field so I can employ a long-term approach to combat biology’s hidden anomalies with a holistic viewpoint. I look forward to utilizing my undergraduate classes and extracurriculars to prepare for medical school so I can fight for both health care and environmental protection.

This student primarily answers the prompt in their middle paragraph as they describe their experience at a summer medical program as well as their science coursework in high school. This content shows their academic curiosity and rigor, yet the best part of the essay isn’t the student’s response to the prompt. The best part of this essay is the way the student positions their interest in medicine as authentic and unique.

The student appears authentic when they admit that they haven’t always been interested in medical school. Many applicants have wanted to be doctors their whole life, but this student is different. They were just in a medical office to translate and help, then got hooked on the profession and took that interest to the next level by signing up for a summer program.

Additionally, this student positions themself as unique as they describe the specifics of their interest in medicine, emphasizing their concern with the ways medicine and the environment interact. This is also refreshing!

Of course, you should always answer the prompt, but it’s important to remember that you can make room within most prompts to say what you want and show off unique aspects of yourself—just as this student did.

One thing this student should be careful of is namedropping Georgetown for the sake of it. There is no problem in discussing a summer program they attended that furthered their interest in medicine, but there is a problem when the experience is used to build prestige. Admissions officers already know that this student attended a summer program at Georgetown because it’s on their application. The purpose of the essay is to show  why attending the program was a formative moment in their interest.

The essay gets at the  why a bit when it discusses staying after class to learn more about specific topics, but the student could have gone further in depth. Rather than explaining the things the student did during the program, like stitching chicken legs and practicing CPR, they should have continued the emotional reflection from the first paragraph by describing what they thought and felt when they got hands-on medical experience during the program. 

Save describing prestigious accomplishments for your extracurriculars and resume; your essay is meant to demonstrate what made you you.

I love spreadsheets.

It’s weird, I know. But there’s something endlessly fascinating about taking a bunch of raw numbers, whipping and whacking them into different shapes and forms with formulas and equations to reveal hidden truths about the universe. The way I like to think about it is that the universe has an innate burning desire to tell us its stories. The only issue is its inability to talk with us directly. Most human stories are written in simple words and letters, but the tales of the universe are encrypted in numbers and relationships, which require greater effort to decode to even achieve basic comprehension. After all, it took Newton countless experimentation to discover the love story between mass and gravitation.

In middle school, whenever I opened a spreadsheet, I felt like I was part of this big journey towards understanding the universe. It took me a couple of years, but I eventually found out that my interest had a name: Data Science. With this knowledge, I began to read extensively about the field and took online courses in my spare time. I found out that the spreadsheets I had been using was just the tip of the iceberg. As I gained more experience, I started using more powerful tools like R (a statistical programming language) which allowed me to use sophisticated methods like linear regressions and decision trees. It opened my eyes to new ways to understand reality and changed the way I approached the world.

The thing I love most about data science is its versatility. It doesn’t matter if the data at hand is about the airflow on an owl’s wing or the living conditions of communities most crippled by poverty. I am able to utilize data science to dissect and analyze issues in any field. Each new method of analysis yields different stories, with distinct actors, settings, and plots. I’m an avid reader of the stories of the universe, and one day I will help the world by letting the universe write its own narrative.

This is an essay that draws the reader in. The student’s candid nature and openness truly allows us to understand why they are fascinated with spreadsheets themself, which in turn makes the reader appreciate the meaning of this interest in the student’s life. 

First, the student engages readers with their conversational tone, beginning “I love spreadsheets. It’s weird, I know,” followed shortly after by the phrase “whipping and whacking.” Then, they introduce their idea to us, explaining how the universe is trying to tell us something through numbers and saying that Newton discovered “the love story between mass and gravitation,” and we find ourselves clearly following along. They put us right there with them, on their team, also trying to discover the secrets of the universe. It is this bond between the student and the reader that makes the essay so engaging and worth reading.

Because the essay is focused on the big picture, the reader gets a sense of the wide-eyed wonderment this student experiences when they handle and analyze data. The student takes us on the “big journey towards understanding the universe” through the lens of Data Science. Explaining both the tools the student has used, like R and statistical regression, and the ideas the student has explored, like owl’s wings and poverty, demonstrates how this student fits into the micro and macro levels of Data Science. The reader gets a complete picture of how this student could change the world through this essay—something admissions officers always want to see.

The biggest thing that would improve this essay is an anecdote. As it’s written, the essay looks at Data Science from a more theoretical or aspirational perspective. The student explains all that Data Science can enable, but besides for explaining that they started coding with spreadsheets and R, they provide very little personal experience working with Data Science. This is where an anecdote would elevate the essay.

Adding a story about the first data set they examined or an independent project they undertook as a hobby would have elicited more emotion and allowed for the student to showcase their accomplishments and way of thinking. For example, they could delve into the feeling of enlightenment that came from first discovering a pattern in the universe. Or maybe they could describe how analyzing data was the catalyst that led them to reach out to local businesses to help them improve their revenue. 

If you have an impactful and enduring interest, such as this student does, you will have at least one anecdote you could include in your essay. You’ll find that essays with anecdotes are able to work in more emotional reflection that make the essay more memorable and the student more likable.

Prompt: What have you done to make your community a better place? (350 words)

Blinking sweat from my eyes, I raised my chin up to the pullup bar one last time before dropping down, my muscles trembling. But despite my physical exhaustion at the end of the workout, mentally, I felt reinvigorated and stronger than ever.

Minutes later, I sat at my computer, chatting with my friends about our first week in quarantine. After listening to numerous stories concerning boredom and loneliness, it struck me that I could use my passion for fitness to help my friends—I jumped at the chance to do so. 

After scouring the internet for the most effective exercises and fitness techniques, I began hosting Zoom workouts, leading friends, family, and anyone else who wanted to join in several fun exercises each week. I hoped these meetings would uplift anyone struggling during quarantine, whether from loneliness, uncertainty, or loss of routine. I created weekly workout plans, integrating cardio, strength, and flexibility exercises into each. Using what I learned from skating, I incorporated off-ice training exercises into the plans and added stretching routines to each session. 

Although many members were worried that they wouldn’t be able to complete exercises as well as others and hesitated to turn their cameras on, I encouraged them to show themselves on screen, knowing we’d only support one another. After all, the “face-to-face” interactions we had while exercising were what distinguished our workouts from others online; and I hoped that they would lead us to grow closer as a community. 

As we progressed, I saw a new-found eagerness in members to show themselves on camera, enjoying the support of others. Seeing how far we had all come was immensely inspiring: I watched people who couldn’t make it through one circuit finish a whole workout and ask for more; instead of staying silent during meetings, they continually asked for tips and corrections.

Despite the limitations placed on our interactions by computer screens, we found comfort in our collective efforts, the camaraderie between us growing with every workout. For me, it confirmed the strength we find in community and the importance of helping one another through tough times.

This essay accomplishes three main goals: it tells a story of how this student took initiative, it explores the student’s values, and it demonstrates their emotional maturity. We really get a sense of how this student improved their community while also gaining a large amount of insight into what type of person this student is.

With regards to initiative, this student writes about a need they saw in their community and the steps they took to satisfy that need. They describe the extensive thought that went into their decisions as they outline the planning of their classes and their unique decision to incorporate skating techniques in at-home workouts.

Additionally, they explore their values, including human connection. The importance of connection to this student is obvious throughout the essay as they write about their desire “to grow closer as a community.” It is particularly apparent with their final summarizing sentence: “For me, it confirmed the strength we find in community and the importance of helping one another through tough times.”

Lastly, this student positions themself as thoughtful when they recognize the way that embarrassment can get in the way of forming community. They do this through the specific example of feeling embarrassment when turning on one’s camera during a video call—a commonly-felt feeling. This ability to recognize fear of embarrassment as an obstacle to camaraderie shows maturity on the part of this applicant. 

This essay already has really descriptive content, a strong story, and a complete answer to the prompt, however there is room for every essay to improve. In this case, the student could have worked more descriptive word choice and figurative language into their essay to make it more engaging and impressive. You want your college essay to showcase your writing abilities as best as possible, while still sounding like you.

One literary device that would have been useful in this essay is a conceit or an extended metaphor . Essays that utilize conceits tend to begin with a metaphor, allude to the metaphor during the body of the paragraph, and end by circling back to the original metaphor. All together, it makes for a cohesive essay that is easy to follow and gives the reader a satisfying opening and conclusion to the essay.

The idea at the heart of this essay—working out to strengthen a community—would make for a great conceit. By changing the anecdote at the beginning to maybe reflect the lack of strength the student felt when working out alone and sprinkling in words and phrases that allude to strength and exercise during the essay, the last sentence (“For me, it confirmed the strength we find in community and the importance of helping one another through tough times”) would feel like a fulfilling end to the conceit rather than just a clever metaphor thrown in. 

Prompt: What have you done to make your school or your community a better place? (350 words)

The scent of eucalyptus caressed my nose in a gentle breeze. Spring had arrived. Senior class activities were here. As a sophomore, I noticed a difference between athletic and academic seniors at my high school; one received recognition while the other received silence. I wanted to create an event celebrating students academically-committed to four-years, community colleges, trades schools, and military programs. This event was Academic Signing Day.

The leadership label, “Events Coordinator,” felt heavy on my introverted mind. I usually was setting up for rallies and spirit weeks, being overlooked around the exuberant nature of my peers. 

I knew a change of mind was needed; I designed flyers, painted posters, presented powerpoints, created student-led committees, and practiced countless hours for my introductory speech. Each committee would play a vital role on event day: one dedicated to refreshments, another to technology, and one for decorations. The fourth-month planning was a laborious joy, but I was still fearful of being in the spotlight. Being acknowledged by hundreds of people was new to me. 

The day was here. Parents filled the stands of the multi-purpose room. The atmosphere was tense; I could feel the angst building in my throat, worried about the impression I would leave. Applause followed each of the 400 students as they walked to their college table, indicating my time to speak. 

I walked up to the stand, hands clammy, expression tranquil, my words echoing to the audience. I thought my speech would be met by the sounds of crickets; instead, smiles lit up the stands, realizing my voice shone through my actions. I was finally coming out of my shell. The floor was met by confetti as I was met by the sincerity of staff, students, and parents, solidifying the event for years to come. 

Academic students were no longer overshadowed. Their accomplishments were equally recognized to their athletic counterparts. The school culture of athletics over academics was no longer imbalanced. Now, everytime I smell eucalyptus, it is a friendly reminder that on Academic Signing Day, not only were academic students in the spotlight but so was my voice.

This is a good essay because it describes the contribution the student made to their community and the impact that experience had on shaping their personality. Admissions officers get to see what this student is capable of and how they have grown, which is important to demonstrate in your essays. Throughout the essay there is a nice balance between focusing on planning the event and the emotions it elicited from this student, which is summed up in the last sentence: “not only were academic students in the spotlight but so was my voice.”

With prompts like this one (which is essentially a Community Service Essay ) students sometimes take very small contributions to their community and stretch them—oftentimes in a very obvious way. Here, the reader can see the importance of Academic Signing Day to the community and the student, making it feel like a genuine and enjoyable experience for all involved. Including details like the four months of planning the student oversaw, the specific committees they delegated tasks to, and the hundreds of students and parents that attended highlights the skills this student possesses to plan and execute such a large event.

Another positive aspect of this essay is how the student’s emotions are intertwined throughout the essay. We see this student go from being a shy figure in the background to the confident architect of a celebrated community event, all due to their motivation to create Academic Signing Day. The student consistently shows throughout the essay, instead of telling us what happened. One example is when they convey their trepidation to public speaking in this sentence: “I walked up to the stand, hands clammy, expression tranquil, my words echoing to the audience. I thought my speech would be met by the sounds of crickets.”

Employing detailed descriptions of feelings, emotions, fears, and body language all contribute to an essay that reveals so much in subtle ways. Without having to be explicitly told, the reader learns the student is ambitious, organized, a leader, and someone who deeply values academic recognition when they read this essay.

While this essay has many positives, there are a couple of things the student could work on. The first is to pay more attention to grammar. There was one obvious typo where the student wrote “the fourth-month planning was a laborious joy”, but there were also many sentences that felt clunky and disjointed. Each and every essay you submit should put your best foot forward and impress admissions officers with your writing ability, but typos immediately diminish your credibility as a writer and sincerity as an applicant.

It’s important to read through your essay multiple times and consider your specific word choice—does each word serve a purpose, could a sentence be rewritten to be less wordy, etc? However, it’s also important you have at least one other person edit your essay. Had this student given their essay to a fresh set of eyes they might have caught the typo and other areas in need of improvement.

Additionally, this student began and ended the essay with the smell of eucalyptus. Although this makes for an intriguing hook, it has absolutely nothing to do with the actual point of the essay. It’s great to start your essay with an evocative anecdote or figurative language, but it needs to relate to your topic. Rather than wasting words on eucalyptus, a much stronger hook could have been the student nervously walking up to the stage with clammy hands and a lump in their throat. Beginning the essay with a descriptive sentence that puts us directly into the story with the student would draw the reader in and get them excited about the topic at hand.

Prompt: What have you done to make your school or community a better place? (350 words) 

“I wish my parents understood.” Sitting at the lunch table, I listened as my friends aired out every detail of their life that they were too afraid to share with their parents. Sexuality, relationships, dreams; the options were limitless. While I enjoyed playing therapist every 7th period, a nagging sensation that perhaps their parents should understand manifested in me. Yet, my proposal was always met with rolling eyes; “I wish they understood” began every conversation, but nothing was being done beyond wishing on both sides. 

I wanted to help not just my friends but the countless other stories I was told of severed relationships and hidden secrets. Ultimately, my quest for change led me to BFB, a local nonprofit. Participating in their Youth Leadership program, I devised and implemented a plan for opening up the conversation between students and parents with the team I led. We successfully hosted relationship seminars with guest speakers specializing on a range of topics, from inclusive education to parental pressure, and were invited to speak for BFB at various external events with local government by the end of my junior year. Collaborating with mental health organizations and receiving over $1,000 in funding from international companies facilitated our message to spread throughout the community and eventually awarded us with an opportunity to tackle a research project studying mental health among teens during the pandemic with professors from the University at Buffalo and UC Los Angeles. 

While these endeavors collectively facilitated my team to win the competition, the most rewarding part of it all was receiving positive feedback from my community and close friends. “I wish my parents understood” morphed into “I’m glad they tried to understand”. I now lead a separate program under BFB inspired by my previous endeavors, advancing its message even further and leaving a legacy of change and initiative for future high schoolers in the program. As I leave for college, I hope to continue this work at the University of California and foster a diverse community that embraces understanding and growth across cultures and generations.

The essay begins with a strong, human-centered story that paints a picture of what the writer’s community looks like. The first sentence acts as a hook by leaving readers with questions — whose parents are being discussed, and what don’t they understand? With their curiosity now piqued, readers become intrigued enough to move on to the next sentences. The last sentence of the first paragraph and beginning of the second relate to the same topic of stories from friends, making for a highly effective transition.

The writer then does a great job of describing their community impact in specific detail, which is crucial for this prompt. Rather than using vague and overly generalized language, the writer highlights their role in BFB with strong action verbs like “devised” and “implemented.” They also communicate the full scope of their impact with quantifiable metrics like “$1,000 in funding,” all while maintaining a flowing narrative style.

The essay ends by circling back to the reason why the writer got involved in improving their community through BFB, which makes the essay more cohesive and moving. The last sentences connect their current experiences improving community with their future aspirations to do so, both in the wider world and at a UC school. This forward-looking part allows admissions officers to get a sense of what the writer might accomplish as a UC alum/alumna, and is certainly something to emulate.

This essay’s biggest weakness is its organization. Since the second paragraph contains lots of dense information about the writer’s role in BFB, it would benefit from a few sentences that tie it back to the narrative in the first paragraph. For instance, the third sentence of the paragraph could be changed like so: “Participating in their Youth Leadership program, I led my team through devising and implementing a plan to foster student-parent conversations — the ones that my 7th period friends were in need of.”

The last paragraph also has the potential to be reorganized. The sentence with the “I wish my parents understood” quote would be more powerful at the end of the paragraph rather than in the middle. With a short transition added to the beginning, the new conclusion would look like so: “ Through it all, I hope to help ‘I wish my parents understood’ morph into ‘I’m glad they tried to understand’ for my 7th period friends and many more.” 

I drop my toothbrush in the sink as I hear a scream. Rushing outside, I find my mom’s hand painfully wedged in the gap between our outward-opening veranda doors. I quickly open it, freeing her hand as she gasps in relief. 

As she ices her hand, I regard the door like I would a trivia question or math problem – getting to know the facts before I start working on a solution. I find that, surprisingly, there is not a single protrusion to open the door from the outside! 

Perhaps it was the fact that my mom couldn’t drive or that my dad worked long hours, but the crafts store was off-limits; I’ve always ended up having to get resourceful and creative with whatever materials happened to be on hand in order to complete my impromptu STEM projects or garage builds. Used plastic bottles of various shapes and sizes became buildings for a model of a futuristic city. Cylindrical capacitors from an old computer, a few inches in height, became scale-size storage tanks. 

Inspired by these inventive work-arounds and spurred on by my mom’s plight, I procure a Command Strip, a roll of tennis racket grip, and, of course, duct tape. I fashion a rudimentary but effective solution: a pull handle, ensuring she would never find herself stuck again.

A desire to instill others in my community with this same sense of resourcefulness led me to co-found “Repair Workshops” at my school – sessions where we teach students to fix broken objects rather than disposing of them. My hope is that participants will walk away with a renewed sense of purpose to identify problems faced by members of their community (whether that’s their neighbor next door or the planet as a whole) and apply their newfound engineering skills towards solutions.

As I look towards a degree and career in engineering and business, these connections will serve as my grounding point: my reminder that in disciplines growing increasingly quantitative, sometimes the best startup ideas or engineering solutions originate from a desire to to better the lives of people around me.

This essay is a good example of telling a story with an authentic voice. With its down-to-earth tone and short, punchy paragraphs, it stands out as a piece of writing that only the author could have written. That is an effective way for you to write any of your college essays as well.

After readers are hooked by the mention of screaming in the first sentence, the writer immerses the readers in their thinking. This makes the essay flow very naturally — rather than a first paragraph of narrative followed by an unrelated description of STEM projects, the whole essay is a cohesive story that shows how the writer came to improve their community. 

Their take on community also makes the essay stand out. While many responses to this prompt will focus on an amorphous, big-picture concept of community, such as school or humanity, this essay is about a community that the writer has a close connection to — their family. Family is also not the large group of people that most applicants would first attach to the word “community,” but writing about it here is a creative take on the prompt. Though explaining community impact is most important, choosing the most unique community you are a part of is a great way to make your essay stand out.

This essay’s main weakness is that the paragraph about Repair Workshops does not go into enough detail about community impact. The writer should highlight more specific examples of leadership here, since it would allow them to demonstrate how they hope to impact many more communities besides their family. 

After the sentence ending with “fix broken objects rather than disposing of them,” a new part could be added that shows how the writer taught students. For example, the writer could tell the story of how “tin cans became compost bins” as they explained the importance of making the world a better place. 

Then, at the end of the paragraph, the writer could more concretely explain the visions they have to expand the impact of Repair Workshops. A good concluding sentence could start with “I too hope to use engineering skills and resourcefulness to…” Adding this extra context would also make the paragraph transition better to the final paragraph of the essay, which somewhat abruptly begins by mentioning the writer’s previously unmentioned career interests in engineering and business.

Where to Get Feedback on Your UC Essays

Want feedback like this on your University of California essays before you submit? We offer expert essay review by advisors who have helped students get into their dream schools. You can book a review with an expert to receive notes on your topic, grammar, and essay structure to make your essay stand out to admissions officers. In fact, Alexander Oddo , an essay expert on CollegeVine, provided commentary on several of the essays in this post.

Haven’t started writing your essay yet? Advisors on CollegeVine also offer expert college counseling packages . You can purchase a package to get one-on-one guidance on any aspect of the college application process, including brainstorming and writing essays.

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• November 11, 2021

How To Write The University of California Essays (2021-2022)

Adrianne is a Master Admissions Counselor and TV/film director, producer, writer, and actress currently based in LA. She uses her experience in multiple disciplines to help students achieve their personal and academic goals.

Welcome to the 2021-2022 essay prompts for the University of California system! Here’s everything you need to know to write the best UC essays possible before the November 30th deadline.

These schools are some of the most popular in the country and admitted just over 132,353 prospective freshmen — including out-of-state and international students — last year out of a record-breakingly large applicant pool. Whether you’re a California resident or not, you’ll need to stand out amongst the crowd in your answers to these questions.

You can refer to the University of California admissions website if you want to see how exactly they’re presenting their essay prompts, also known as “Personal Insight Questions,” for this year. The UC school system has its own application, and all nine schools — UC Berkeley, UCLA, UC San Diego, UC Santa Barbara, UC Irvine, UC Davis, UC Santa Cruz, UC Riverside, UC Merced — accept the same application with the same essay questions.

You’ll need to respond to 4 of the 8 questions listed below, in essays of 250-350 words. This is a pretty big writing assignment, and you have a lot of freedom in which topics you choose, so spend some time brainstorming.

1. Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes , or contributed to group efforts over time.

Let me say right off the bat that this isn’t a great question. Even if you’ve demonstrated incredible leadership, The University of California has better essay prompts for you, so you’re welcome to read on, or skip ahead to the next question.

OK. This appears to be a good question for student-entrepreneurs—kids who’ve created impactful projects. As always, however, you need to make sure you’re going beyond your activities list—don’t just tell us about a project you’ve listed elsewhere on your application. The UC schools don’t accept the Common App, but they have a place on their application where they ask you to describe your “activities and awards.”

Think very small here, and focus on specific examples of leadership. Remember: essays are stories. This is your chance to tell a good one about a specific time you took the reins. All this being said, if the strongest leadership story you can muster is about helping a fellow student with his or her homework one time, you should probably choose another prompt — unless somehow it’s a really great story.

The hard thing about questions like this, as always, is resisting the temptation to brag, and finding a way to tell your story without sounding like you’re making yourself out to be a hero. Don’t sensationalize or exaggerate your accomplishments. Be matter-of-fact when talking about your achievements. Focus on a specific anecdote. Give us a clear sense of why a specific leadership experience mattered to you.

2. Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem-solving , original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side.

Remember how I said there were better questions about leadership? Here’s one. Rather than tell the story about a time you were a leader-hero, why not answer this one? Frame your accomplishments in terms of your creativity, rather than in terms of your leadership. If you’ve started a business, non-profit, or club, it’s on your activities list and we know that you are “a leader” (at least on paper). But are you creative ? How did you come up with your idea? How did you make it happen?

This response doesn’t have to be about leadership, of course. It doesn’t need to be about problem-solving, and it doesn’t need to relate to your future major. Try not to write a boring, formulaic essay in response to this prompt, since it’s a little disappointing to read an essay about creativity that isn’t creative.

3. What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time?

Again, don’t repeat what’s on your activities and awards list. Definitely don’t talk about your awards. They appear elsewhere, and how would you feel if someone you just met started talking about his or her gold medals and trophies? It doesn’t make you look well-adjusted.

It’s tough to talk about your skills without sounding braggy. “How has your talent or skill helped you in or outside the classroom?” Are they serious? I just can’t imagine how answering this question would make anyone look confident and mature.

The only effective response to this prompt would be about mundane or even downright pointless skills. Pomona, when it asks about talents, specifies that you are welcome to discuss “useless skills.” You’re welcome to do so for the UC schools as well. Don’t be flippant; make sure you have something meaningful to say about your mundane or useless skill. For example, I have a friend who can list in chronological order just about every hit rock, soul, and pop album released between 1964 and 1982. This ability has no practical application in his professional life as far as I can tell, but it says a great deal about who he is and how his mind works. And it’s a far more endearing detail than any of the awards and accolades he’s received in life.

4. Describe how you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity or worked to overcome an educational barrier you have faced.

This is one of those questions where, for some, not answering is the best way to demonstrate self-awareness and maturity.

You’re being asked to talk about educational opportunities and barriers. Before you answer this question, ask yourself: have you received noteworthy educational opportunities and/or faced barriers to pursuing your education? If you got a big-deal scholarship or got into a charter school after taking an IQ test or something, there may be a story there. (Although, “I have a high IQ” isn’t a great story.) If you spent your junior year caring for a sick parent or grandparent or suffered a physical or mental health issue yourself, that’s definitely a barrier to education.

But, on the other hand, if the opportunities you’ve had in terms of education have to do with your parents’ ability to pay for a fancy school, choose a different question. If, for you, “barriers to education” means commuting forty-five minutes to school, or something like that, again, there are plenty of other questions to answer. Self-awareness is at the top of the list of qualities that schools like Berkeley, UCLA, and the other UC schools are looking for in their applicants. Make sure you’re in touch with the opportunities you’ve been given, and the impediments you’ve faced.

5. Describe the most significant challenge you have faced and the steps you have taken to overcome this challenge. How has this challenge affected your academic achievement?

See my comments on the previous question. If you’ve faced some real challenges, and if you have enough distance from them to write with perspective (and to feel comfortable writing about them, of course), this may be a question for you. But think long and hard about the challenges you’ve encountered. If they aren’t very serious in the big scheme of things, don’t try to exaggerate them, and to convince your readers you had a hard time.

This is a tempting question to answer if you want to explain a low grade, for example. Let’s say you got a C+ in ninth grade English. Be careful: the question wants to know about “the most significant challenge you faced”: so if you got that C+ because your cat died the day before the final exam, or because your teacher was a jerk, don’t write about it. Everybody has teachers they don’t like and all pets die at some point. (Sorry to be grim.) These are not life’s greatest challenges.

As with “talents” questions, “challenges” questions sometimes put applicants in a tricky situation. Make sure it doesn’t sound like you’re blaming others unfairly or complaining.

If you have an entertaining story about a challenge, which says a lot about who you are, but which isn’t a serious example of hardship, you can absolutely write about it. But use humor and be self-aware. In other words, make it clear that you are cognizant of the fact that your inability to parallel park, apply makeup properly, or beat your little brother in Fortnite doesn’t constitute a “real” challenge.

6. Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom.

If you’re a nice “pointy” student, here’s your chance to talk about how all your intellectual activities over the past three years have served to further your passion for… fill in the blank (architecture, art history, astrophysics). Presumably, if you’re this kind of kid, you plan on majoring in an academic field related to what you’re writing about, so discuss your choice of major as well, and say what you plan on doing at the UC school(s) you’re applying to.

You can also answer this question by talking about an academic subject you have no intention of majoring in, provided that it’s interesting, and that you can clearly point to your experience with the subject. If you plan on majoring in history, but you had a really good bio teacher freshman year, that probably isn’t enough of a reason to talk about biology.

Maybe you plan on majoring in psychology at The University of California, but what you really want to do later in life is art therapy, and you’ve gained some experience in the subject, and have a real, demonstrable passion for art generally (you were in the art club, or you exhibited your work somewhere, or you did something else that is at least mildly remarkable with art). Talk about art.

7. What have you done to make your school or your community a better place?

I know I keep saying this, but beware of sounding braggy. Make sure you’re demonstrating self-awareness.

I keep saying these things because there are a good number of high schoolers out there who are effectuating real, significant societal change, and who are fighting in extremely ambitious ways to make their communities and even their country a better place. Keep kids like them in mind as you evaluate your own accomplishments in your community. I know this is intimidating — but remembering them will help you maintain perspective as you write.

Here’s a bad example of “making one’s community a better place” — the kind of thing you should not write about. When I was in high school, I was elected student body president, and I succeeded in getting our “student room” equipped with an electric kettle (for tea, ramen noodles, what have you). My fellow students were pretty psyched. But let me tell you: describing this kind of accomplishment would be a pretty pathetic response to the question that’s being asked here. In the big scheme of things, ramen noodles rank pretty low.

8. Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes you stand out as a strong candidate for admissions to the University of California?

Great question! Take the following phrase very seriously: “Beyond what has already been shared in your application.” Don’t talk about anything on your activities and awards list.

I know it’s tempting to write about your greatest achievements, but they’re already on your application. This is a great opportunity to talk about something new and different, in order to help your admissions committee get to know the real you a little better.

Think small and personal for this one. This is your chance to talk about that hobby of yours that doesn’t have any direct relation to your academic and professional future, or one of your personal quirks that maybe doesn’t matter much in the big scheme of things, but says a lot about who you are.

The way the question is phrased makes it sound like you need to show off here (“what do you believe makes you stand out”). Don’t give in to the temptation to brag. Or, if you do, brag about a useless personal talent, or make the bold claim that what makes you stand out as an applicant is that you’ve read every Stephen King novel ever written, or that you can do a near-perfect Elvis Costello impression. Think: humor and self-awareness.

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University of California (UC) Personal Insight Questions Guide: 2021-2022

Not sure how to approach the UC Personal Insight Questions? With tips from an Ivy League graduate, CollegeAdvisor.com’s guide to the UC essay prompts will show you how to write engaging UC essay prompts.  Using both the UC essays guide and our UC PIQ examples, you can stand out from the crowd and maximize your admissions odds.

Want help crafting your UC personal insight questions? Create your free  account  or schedule a no-cost advising consultation by calling (844) 343-6272.

There are nine University of California campuses that offer undergraduate programs. The tenth campus, UC San Francisco, only offers graduate programs in the health sciences. Each campus requires essay responses for the UC Personal Insight Questions (PIQs). In this guide, we’ll walk through each of the UC Personal Insight Questions. We’ll also break down what each UC school looks for in its applicants.

UC  Personal Insight Questions Essay Guide Quick Facts:

• UC Berkeley  has an acceptance rate of 14.5%— U.S. News  ranks UC Berkeley as a  highly competitive  school.
• UC Davis  has an acceptance rate of 49%— U.S. News  ranks UC Davis as a  competitive  school.
• UC Irvine  has an acceptance rate of 29%— U.S. News  ranks UC Irvine as a  competitive  school.
• UC Los Angeles  has an acceptance rate of 10.8%— U.S. News  ranks UCLA as a  highly competitive  school.
• UC San Diego  has an acceptance rate of 34.3%— U.S. News  ranks UC San Diego as a  highly competitive  school.
• UC Santa Barbara  has an acceptance rate of 29.2%— U.S. News  ranks UC Santa Barbara as a  highly competitive  school.
• We recommend answering the UC Personal Insight Questions comprehensively and thoughtfully.

UC Merced ,  UC Riverside , and  UC Santa Cruz  are not ranked in the top 100 schools on U.S. News.

What are the UC Personal Insight Questions?

The UC Personal Insight Questions are UC essay  prompts  specific to the University of California campuses . The UC system does not accept the Common or Coalition Application —instead, they use their own application system called UC Apply. You can find the main UC application  here .

Looking for more information on how to navigate UC Apply? Check out our webinar hosted by a UC alumnus.

Read on for tips on the UC Personal Insight Questions as well as information about successful UC essay examples. Need tips on writing your Common App essay for other schools? Check out our  blog article .

How Many UC Essays are Required?

There are a total of eight UC Personal Insight Questions. You will only choose and complete four UC essay prompts, however. All eight UC PIQs are accepted at all of the University of California schools. This means you’ll have a bit of flexibility when writing your UC essays.

Below, we will walk you through all of the UC essay prompts. We’re also proud to feature our UC PIQ examples  here . Our UC PIQ examples include information from admissions officers about why each of the UC essay examples worked. Struggling to respond to the UC essay prompts? These UC Personal Insight Questions examples are a great place to start! Reading the UC essay examples will give you added insight on how to approach the UC essay prompts.

Remember that you will only need to respond to four UC essay prompts. Use this guide to determine which of the UC essay prompts is best for you!

How Long is Each UC Essay?

Each of the UC essay prompts has a maximum of 350 words. This is equal to about one double-spaced page for each of the UC essay prompts.

When reviewing our UC PIQ examples, you might notice that the UC essays feel long compared to other supplemental essays. However, once you read these UC Personal Insight Questions examples and start writing your responses to the UC essay prompts, you may find 350 words feels like relatively little space to answer the UC essay prompts!

Which UC Essay Should I Write?

Narrowing down which four UC essay prompts to respond to may be challenging—but don’t stress. No single UC PIQ will make or break your application. Read over the UC essay prompts and remind yourself—there is no wrong choice.

Struggling to select a prompt? Return to the UC Personal Insight Questions examples. From a Science Olympiad to a bullied student with a vocal coach, and finally, the teen hotline volunteer—notice how each of the UC PIQ examples offers a different perspective. Take your cue from the UC essay examples. A successful UC essay is not about prompt selection—it’s about how you write it.

You should select each UC essay based on what you think best reflects your identity, experiences, and personal circumstances. The most effective UC essay will be honest and well-written while allowing your personality to shine through. Read on for details about each of the UC essay prompts and more information on successful UC essay examples.

How to write UC Application Essays:

Uc personal insight questions — essay 1.

Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes or contributed to group efforts over time. (350 words maximum)

This guide will walk you through responding to all of the UC PIQs. Looking at the first UC essay, this UC PIQ asks you to discuss a leadership role you’ve held. It also asks you to reflect on the impact you had on others during this experience. Remember, leadership can mean more than just being president of a club at school. Leadership can also come from mentoring others, taking care of family members, or taking initiative in a volunteer position.

However you define leadership, make sure you write about an activity that is important to you. Have you resolved a dispute between members of an extracurricular organization that you belong to? Perhaps you took over for someone at church when they had to step down last minute from planning an event.

Additionally, leadership does not necessarily have to mean that you’re the one person “in charge.” You can discuss how you have contributed to group efforts in a collaborative way, working closely with a team of others to make a positive impact and lead by example. Let’s take a look at how they accomplished this in the UC Personal Insight Questions examples.

UC essay example

In the UC essay examples, one writer discusses her experience as a Science Olympiad in high school:

“ Three thousand, four hundred and seventy-one dollars. That was the bill for the hotel room expenses alone for our thirty-member excursion. And those were the least of my worries for the weekend. Between drilling wood pieces into a working frame for Air Trajectory and tying a knot in floss to build a pendulum, I was running down the halls, talking to worried parents on the phone, anatomy textbook in hand. The other captains study while I ensure everyone eats dinner and sleeps by 2 am, responsible as the school’s sole legal representative for ensuring typical high school shenanigans of music blasting didn’t manifest into real danger. ”

All of the UC essay examples begin with great anecdotes that pull the reader into the story, and the first of the UC essay examples is no different. Let’s tease out some of the information that this writer provides in the first few sentences of their UC PIQ. From reading, we know that they are a captain, which establishes their leadership role in the organization. We also know that they carry many responsibilities. From keeping track of trip expenses to overseeing team members’ welfare and acting as an informal representative with the hotel. Successful UC essay examples, like this, will show and not tell.

Be detailed

Like in the UC personal insight questions examples, and specifically, in the UC PIQ example above, you should provide context for your answer. In other words, describe the leadership position and organization and pay specific attention to your role. Another great way to discuss leadership is by demonstrating how you noticed something was missing and stepped in to fulfill the need. Admissions officers will want to hear about how and why you ended up in the position you were in. They’ll also want to know what you did in that position and what you learned from it.

Next, talk about your own actions and impact. Once you give context, then you can get into specifics. Did you elect to be in the leadership position? Did you offer to help a friend with their project and find you wanted to take on a more serious role?  Were you unsure of your capabilities as a leader and then proved your doubts wrong?

You will also want to reflect on the leadership experience itself. Was something about the situation particularly challenging? Did it make you realize you were a born leader? Did you gain a quality or notice an attribute about yourself that you’re proud of? Reflection is an important part of all the UC Personal Insight Questions.

UC essay example feedback

Finally, let’s review some of the feedback from the UC essay examples article for this UC PIC response. According to a former admission officer, “This essay works because the author not only demonstrates their leadership skills but also highlights the qualities and characteristics that make her a successful leader.” Finally, in the UC personal insight questions examples article, the admissions officer comments that “Beyond demonstrating her leadership, she effectively shows the admissions committee the type of student she will be on campus and how she will possibly contribute to the community.”

When crafting your own essay response, think about how your leadership experience works on broader terms. Does your chosen experience for this UC essay communicate a positive influence you had within a community? If not, you may want to consider if this is the strongest experience you can write on.

While we reviewed portions of the first UC Personal Insight Questions examples, you can read the rest of the UC PIQ response and the admission officer’s feedback in  CollegeAdvisor’s UC essay examples article. As with all of the provided UC essay examples, remember that you don’t need to model your UC PIQ response after them. What made the UC personal insight questions most effective is their authenticity. The University of California also publishes a UC Personal Insight Questions  guide  for applying freshmen.

UC PIQ Draft Key Questions:

• Do you define what leadership means to you?
• Does your UC PIQ essay directly describe how you made a positive impact, resolved a dispute, or worked with others?
• Like the first of the UC essay examples, does your draft  reflect  on your role in the community?

UC Personal Insight Questions — Essay 2

Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side. (350 words maximum)

This UC PIQ might push you to think further outside the box than some of the other UC essay prompts. Creativity can take many different shapes and forms; every industry has some sort of creative aspect. When this UC essay says “creative,” they’re asking what kinds of things or experiences do you  create  in your daily life. How do you innovate?

Your answer to this UC essay could discuss a more conventional creative outlet, such as poetry or visual art. You could also write about a less conventional activity. This could look like making your own crossword puzzles or talking about an entrepreneurial project or a nonprofit startup you are working on.

In this UC essay, you will first want to describe  what  it is that you do. Paint a picture of your creative outlet. What is your creative process? Once you have used active storytelling to talk about the  what , you can turn to the  why . Is this something you started doing for others, as a performance-based activity, or is it something that you use as a calming and centering activity in private?

Let’s look at the UC personal insight questions examples article again. In the second of the provided UC essay examples, the author wrote the following:

“ 440 Hz exactly. The flames flare to life, forming the perfect wavelength as I transitioned from note to note, the curves transitioning along. My classmates crowded around as I sang (shouted?) into the Ruben’s tube, a simple PVC pipe with holes cut at even intervals so that high notes translated to beautiful waves of flames.

The fight to get a vocal teacher in the first place was an uphill run. Singing, unlike playing the piano or learning to draw, wasn’t deemed worthy of spending money on – wasn’t even seen as a skill. After multiple pitches, I finally got my way, just a foot in the door: one month. ”

Each of the UC personal insight questions examples begins with a really strong story, and this UC essay is no different. The author doesn’t hop right in and tell us she sings and has a vocal coach. Instead, she draws readers in with a story that at first glance seems unrelated.

UC essay examples like the one above are most successful because they offer a brief history of how the student became involved with their creative activity. Other things to consider when you draft a response to this UC PIQ: end with a few thoughts on how this activity has shaped you and discuss what you’ve learned from it. Will you continue to pursue this creative activity while at school? How will this creativity inform your academic and personal development?

Whatever creative activity you choose to describe, make sure it is something that you  enjoy  doing. Your passion will shine through in your writing and make your UC essay engaging and dynamic. These UC Personal Insight Questions aim to reveal who you are on a deeper level than just the academic and extracurricular information you have already listed on your application. Admissions officers want to read your responses to the UC essay prompts and feel like they know you.

In fact, in the UC personal insight questions article, the former admissions officer notes how well the student who wrote the UC PIQ above highlighted her creativity by “weaving in examples of finding and using her voice in various situations.” Like in the second of the UC essay examples, your response to this prompt should just be a discussion of something creative you like to do, but how that creative pursuit has shaped your life.

• Does your essay give an example of a creative endeavor you enjoy?
• Like in the second of the UC personal insight questions examples, do you connect what you do with why you do it?
• Does your essay gesture towards how this creative activity connects to your future goals or your success at UC?

UC Personal Insight Questions — Essay 3

What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time? (350 words maximum)

This UC essay asks you to do something a little different from other UC PIQ, and that might not come naturally to you—brag about yourself. Of course, you will want to keep a humble tone. However, this UC essay prompt is asking what you do best. In this UC PIQ, you should write about a time when you stood out or a time when you were the best at something. Do you have an interesting hidden talent? If so, this might be the essay for you!

Talent vs. skill

If you are having a hard time thinking of particular talents you have, you might turn to the second option in this prompt: a skill. A skill can be anything from an accomplishment to a trait you like about yourself. Perhaps you never fail to make your friends laugh, even in the most stressful of situations. Maybe your biggest strength is that you’re an incredibly empathetic person. You could provide anecdotes of times when empathy has helped you, perhaps to understand a friend when they needed help that they couldn’t articulate.

You will want to include a narrative arc in this UC essay. Here, Admissions Officers will be looking to read a story of what your talent is, how you have developed it, and why it means so much to you. You could describe an obstacle you have faced while performing this skill or talent and then demonstrate growth in how you overcame that obstacle.

As you respond to this UC PIQ, you want to show that you value creative pursuits and that you will bring your creative skills to the UC campuses. How has this activity offered you a new perspective on other aspects of your experiences? How does this creative activity interact with other areas of your life?

Let’s look at how one student approached this prompt in the third of our UC personal insight questions examples. The second paragraph in our provided UC essay examples is the heart of why this author’s response was successful.

“ The best swimmers are 5’10” with broad shoulders and huge feet. These characteristics are advantages during competitions because the athletes are able to move faster in the pool without being pushed back by the waves. I am not a typical swimmer. I am half-Black and half-Mexican, topping out at a whopping 5’0″. My skills are not Olympic-bound, but I am passionate about the sport despite the fact that I initially felt like an outlier. ”

Let your self-awareness shine through

As you can see, the author isn’t necessarily bragging, which you may see in many UC PIQ examples. Instead, she readily admits that she may not be the best swimmer, but it is her greatest  skill , one that she’s passionate about and has developed since the age of eight. UC PIQ examples like this demonstrate that there are many ways to answer this prompt, especially if you don’t feel that you have any talents/skills. Like the author, think of the things that you’re passionate about and have been practicing for years. While you may not be a prodigy, you have most likely become skilled. Let the passion and dedication that you feel for this talent/skill shine through in your response. Additionally, UC PIQ examples like this are effective because the author doesn’t just establish her skill but talks about what the skill/talent has brought her.

“ Even though I used to get lonely when swimming, I found a huge amount of joy in being a part of the sport at my high school. Our team started off with only six members, most of whom had never even been to a swim meet before. Eventually, we gained enough participants and experience to compete against other schools. We were neither the largest nor the fastest team, but I did not care. I had finally found a group of people I connected with. ”

Of the three UC personal insight questions examples, this draws the reader into the author’s vulnerabilities. Not only does she “confess” to not being the greatest swimmer, but she talks of how lonely she found her skill until she was able to find community in her high school swim team. The former admissions officer in the UC PIQ examples article, says that this is the author’s strength.

This essay works because it’s touching and speaks to the admissions officers’ emotional side. This applicant scores high on the likability factor. As a reader, you are able to quickly connect with the author and find yourself cheering for them. The student comes across as dedicated, determined, humble, appreciative, caring, and sincere – which is a lot to accomplish in just 350 words.

In other words, don’t be afraid to be vulnerable in your UC essay prompts, this can be an effective way to connect with your readers.

As you can see from the third of our UC personal insight questions examples, there are different ways to answer this UC PIQ! Check out the remainder of this author’s essay in our UC essay examples article.

• Does your essay define what your skill or talent is?
• Have you discussed how you’ve worked at this talent over time?
• Do you sound proud of yourself?
• Do you fit this accomplishment into who you are as a person and who you hope to be on a UC campus?

UC Personal Insight Questions — Essay 4

Describe how you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity or worked to overcome an educational barrier you have faced. (350 words maximum)

This UC essay asks about your journey in overcoming a specific hardship. You will want to take readers through the narrative arc you followed while you were living through your chosen experience. You will then want to discuss the resonance of this event for the rest of your life, with specific regard to your academic career. This emphasis on academics sets this UC PIQ apart from other UC essay prompts.

How to discuss an educational opportunity

There are two directions you can take when writing this UC PIQ. If you discuss an educational opportunity, you should first describe what the opportunity was and how you came to do it. You should then focus on describing how you made the most of this opportunity. It’s one thing to go to the best summer intensive research program in your field, and it’s another thing to follow up with one of the professors you meet there and pursue a personal project with them as a mentor.

You’ll want to talk about how you utilized the resources that this opportunity provided in order to squeeze the most out of it. This UC essay prompt examines how much of a go-getter you are, so show that to the Admissions Officers!

How to discuss an educational barrier

You might also choose to follow the second avenue this UC PIQ offers and discuss a setback or barrier you encountered. If you go this route, you will first want to define and contextualize the challenge you faced. Because this UC essay specifically asks about an  educational  barrier, you want to make sure that the experience you discuss impacted your academic life specifically. If you have a non-academic-related challenge that deeply impacted your life, save that for UC PIQ 5. You’ll want to pay careful attention to what each of the UC essay prompts asks of you and be sure to respond directly to the  question  in each of the UC Personal Insight Questions.

After you define the challenge, explain how you overcame it. Focus on your strategies, ideas, and actions specifically. This is the work that you did to defeat the barrier and come out stronger on the other side. You’ll want to demonstrate how you learned or matured from your experience. If you need inspiration, check out our UC Personal Insight Questions examples; you’ll notice that growth and maturity are common themes.

You will also want to reflect a bit on how this experience affected you long term. How did this barrier influence other aspects of your life? What did you gain from the opportunity you had? You could mention any professional skills or qualities that you might have developed from your chosen experience and how you will carry those with you in your future endeavors. In all of these UC essay prompts, you will want to gesture toward your future intentions; Admissions Officers would like to see that you’re forward-thinking in your responses to the UC Personal Insight Questions.

• Do you address a topic specifically related to your academic experience?
• Does your essay show that you learned something from the experience?
• Does your essay demonstrate a thoughtful approach to your academic career and opportunities?

UC Personal Insight Questions — Essay 5

Describe the most significant challenge you have faced and the steps you have taken to overcome this challenge. How has this challenge affected your academic achievement? (350 words maximum)

Overcoming a challenge is a classic college supplemental essay topic, and the UC essay prompts are no exception. Admissions Officers want to see how you handle a crisis and how you move forward in the face of adversity when they read your UC PIQ responses.

Make sure it’s a “real” challenge

This UC essay asks for  the most  significant challenge you’ve ever faced—so try to pick something bigger than your first C on a test. This UC PIQ should discuss a time when you faced a setback but did not let that setback beat you. As you can see from reading successful UC PIQ examples, Admissions Officers will be looking for your resourcefulness, creativity, and problem-solving skills when they are reading this UC essay. Make sure you focus on describing the  how  and not just the  what  in this UC PIQ.

In a college environment, you will likely face unexpected academic and personal challenges. UC wants to know that you can struggle, or even fail, and come back stronger than before. This UC PIQ asks you to prove that you will face any challenges head-on and not be overwhelmed when things take a turn for the worse.

Be sure to demonstrate growth

In this UC essay, be sure to clearly address both what the problem was and how you fixed it. Focus on your storytelling abilities to connect point A (the setback) to point B (your solution). Admissions Officers are looking for your creativity and problem-solving methodology: what is the process you use when addressing a challenge? Why was this challenge such a meaningful one to you? What was at stake for you? You will want to indicate that you perform well under pressure in this UC essay.

Once you have described both the challenge and your process in overcoming it, you should turn to the final part of this UC PIQ; that is, you’ll want to discuss the relationship between this challenge and your academics. Be sure to address how the challenge you faced impacted your academic achievement in particular, though the challenge itself does not have to be an academic one. You should describe how overcoming this challenge resonated throughout your life and perhaps changed your perspective, provided you a new way of thinking, or altered your academic path in some way. These UC Personal Insight Questions want you to showcase what kind of student you are and how you will succeed on the UC campuses.

• Do you explain why this challenge was so important to you?
• Does your UC PIQ response demonstrate how you solved or addressed the challenge?
• Do you reflect on the impact of overcoming this challenge?

UC Personal Insight Questions — Essay 6

Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom. (350 words maximum)

You might read this UC PIQ and know exactly what subject you want to write about. It might be clear that you have a passion for English because you took AP Language and AP Literature, you’re in the journalism club, you write for the school literary magazine, and tutor ESL students after school. Even if you have all of these great examples, you will still want to address  why  this subject inspires you. What is it about literature or the English language that excites you? Maybe you’re obsessed with grammar, or maybe you read translations in their original language and then in English to discover any discrepancies. This UC PIQ gives you a valuable opportunity to discuss your academic inspirations and where they come from!

However, you might not have such an easy response to this UC PIQ. Maybe you’re passionate about multiple subjects, or maybe you only discovered your true passion a few months ago and don’t have that many specific experiences to discuss. If no subject immediately jumps to mind when you look at this UC essay, you can still answer this UC PIQ! Once again, refer to the UC Personal Insight Questions examples for more guidance.

In this UC PIQ, you don’t have to write about your favorite subject or the subject where you got the very best grades. Instead, you can write about an academic subject that really challenged you, for example, and discuss how that inspired you to go above and beyond what was required in the classroom in order to grasp the material better.

Make connections between your chosen academic subject and your other interests

You could also connect an extracurricular to an academic subject in a more abstract way. Maybe you love physics, and you use your understanding of the body in motion to aid you in dance competitions outside of school. Maybe a love of math translates into a love of baking because you devise your own recipes and perfect the ratios of ingredients.

Whatever you choose to write about in this UC PIQ, make sure you tie everything back together to the subject which sparks your interest. You should also give anecdotal details about things you have done either inside the classroom, outside the classroom, or, or if you can, both.

In this UC essay, you should aim to show how you are goal-oriented and directed in your studies and extracurriculars. You’ll want to synthesize your academic and non-academic activities to reinforce an interest in your chosen subject. Show that you’re passionate, use specific anecdotal examples, and illustrate what you have learned from your chosen subject.

• Does your UC essay clearly communicate the topic which excites you?
• Do you articulate why your chosen subject matters to you, and how it has influenced your growth and identity?
• Does your UC PIQ supplement and/or complicate the other aspects of your application, with special regard to academic preferences?

UC Personal Insight Questions — Essay 7

What have you done to make your school or your community a better place? (350 words maximum)

This UC PIQ asks how you interact with those around you. There are many ways to understand “community,” so you should begin your UC essay by defining what community means to you. Are you talking about a club or organization, a certain place where you feel at home, or a group of people? You might also mention what makes you feel connected to this community— why  it is so meaningful to you. If you decide to write about your school, make sure you clarify that as your chosen definition of community for this UC essay.

In order to reflect on your impact on your community, you should first define the particular areas for growth you noticed in this community. You might want to describe how your connection with your community helped you to see what they needed or what you could give to them.

Here, you will show your capacity for empathy and your ability to think big-picture, especially with regard to an organization or group of people that might be close to your heart. This will show Admissions Officers that you can think critically, which is what the UC Personal Insight Questions are all about.

Be specific

Once you explain how you identified a problem or a challenge facing your community, you will want to discuss the concrete steps you took towards fixing this problem.  How  did you improve your chosen community? This UC essay wants to understand how you interact with those around you in meaningful and effective ways.

Be as specific as possible in your UC PIQ response. Walk your reader through your journey of joining this community, discovering a need within the community, and filing that need with your problem-solving skills. You should also frontload your decision-making process as you write this UC essay. In your UC PIQ response, Admissions Officers want to see how you will contribute to the community on the UC campuses.

UC example essay

Let’s look at the creative way that one student approached this in the fourth example in our UC PIQ examples article. The final essay in our UC Personal Insight Questions examples broaches a heavy subject and begins with a vivid anecdote.

“Hi, this is Teen Line, what’s bothering you tonight?” That simple phrase rings through the tiny room, merely enough space for a few desks and chairs. On one end of the line is a teenager, sharing stories of anything from the dark dread of depression and anxiety to a plea for a savior from the downward spiral of suicide. A tearful voice, desperate for help – a girl barely in high school, suffering at the hands of her “friends” and on the brink of suicide, complete with a plan to choke herself with a dog leash.

UC example essay feedback

UC personal insight questions examples like this one show the power of a strong beginning to draw in your readers. The author goes on to discuss her participation in Teen Line, a non-profit nationwide teen helpline. She defines community not only as of the teens that she talks to in her immediate area but also as of the national and international callers as well. The best UC PIQ examples show you how you can take your reader on a journey in 350 words or less. This is reflected in the former admissions officer’s strong feedback.

Sometimes admissions officers have to present candidates before a larger committee. This is an example where, if it came down to it, an officer would probably fight to ensure this student is admitted to the college or university if the rest of their application materials were strong overall, but perhaps slightly weaker in some areas. Simply put, this is a student an admissions officer would want as part of their campus community.

Among the UC personal insight questions examples that we cover in our UC PIQ examples article, this is a great example of how to discuss sensitive topics like depression and suicide.

• Do you define what community means to you?
• Does your essay describe both the problem you found within the community and the solution you crafted to address this problem?
• Does your essay reflect on the journey of your experience and the problem-solving skills you employed?

UC Personal Insight Questions — Essay 8

Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes you stand out as a strong candidate for admissions to the University of California? (350 words maximum)

This UC essay seems misleadingly simple; you may think this UC PIQ asks you to respond with  anything  that you feel makes you a strong applicant, but that is not entirely true. You will want to think very hard about whether the information you share in this UC essay could easily be a response to any of the other UC essay prompts. If so, choose that prompt instead. The previous 7 UC PIQ prompts cover a lot of ground, so read through those UC Personal Insight Questions and review the UC PIQ examples before choosing this prompt.

When you should answer this prompt

You should only select this UC PIQ if you have something extraordinary to write about that genuinely has  no other place  anywhere on the application for you to discuss it. Though the prompt asks for what makes you stand out, you have lots of other places to demonstrate what makes you stand out from other applicants in the other UC essay prompts. Notably, this UC PIQ does not appear in our UC Personal Insight Questions examples, as it’s much more open-ended.

For example, if you’re considering answering this question by talking about the time you overcame a chronic illness that kept you out of school for months at a time, you could also respond to UC essay 5 with this answer. Did you grow up in a suburban town with same-sex parents and face homophobia towards your family because your peers all had a mom and a dad? That’s a unique experience you could definitely write about for this UC essay.

How you should answer this prompt

If you’re having trouble, return to the UC Personal Insight Questions examples. Notice how each of the UC essay examples is unique. Just because this UC PIQ is more open-ended doesn’t mean it’s the only one that will let you be creative. If there’s one thing to learn from the UC Personal Insight Questions examples, it’s that any prompt will let you be creative.

Your response to this UC essay should describe your unique situation or experience. It should also turn outwards to demonstrate how this experience, skill, or activity sets you apart from other UC applicants. This UC essay can help readers understand how you will help diversify campus through your lived experience. It can also help explain any gaps or dips in your grades or the rest of your application.

You will want to be direct and specific in this UC essay. Honesty is important here; try not to exaggerate too much with your tone or over-dramatize your story. Since you’re writing about an experience that is specific and unique to you, you don’t need to do the work of performatively explaining just  how  unique your activity, talent, or experience is. The topic you discuss should speak for itself.

• Does your essay respond to a different prompt in the UC PIQ examples?
• Do you use straightforward language to discuss your chosen topic?
• Does your essay describe what happened to you, how it affected you, and how this will impact the perspective you bring to the UC campuses?

What Should I Put in the Additional Comments Section of the UC application?

There are two additional comments sections of the UC application. These are separate from the UC Personal Insight Questions and are not covered by our UC Personal Insight Questions examples. One is listed under the Academic History section, and the second is listed under the Personal Insight section.

For additional comments under Academic History, you should address only your academic record. This includes your transcript and grades, course choices, and anything you did not have the opportunity to discuss previously in the academic section or anywhere in your UC essay prompts.

For additional comments under Personal Insight, you should  not  discuss anything to do with your academic record. Instead, use this space to elaborate on the extracurricular section of the application. This is the space for more detail on an experience that was very meaningful to you. However, be careful about how you use this space. Ask yourself if what you’re sharing is really necessary to your application. Try to use the UC PIQ prompts to say anything you would want to say here.

Both of these sections are optional. You should not feel obligated to fill these sections with additional information if everything you want to share with your readers has been discussed in your UC essay prompts. UC Berkeley offers some advice on how to utilize this section of the application  here .

UC Personal Insight Questions—Final Thoughts

Completing the UC essay prompts can seem daunting, but don’t let that discourage you from applying. The UC essay prompts are a great opportunity to demonstrate who you are beyond your grades and test scores.

We hope that this UC personal insight questions guide as well as our UC essay examples will help jumpstart your thinking! Your UC essays can boost your application if you have a lower than average GPA or  SAT score . Use this UC personal insight questions guide as a step-by-step aid when approaching the UC essay prompts. And if you want more support, don’t forget to read our UC personal insight questions examples for feedback from Admissions Officers on various UC essay examples.

UC video resources

You can also view these videos on UC PIQ prompts from the University of California:

Additionally, start earlier than you think you should when responding to the UC essay examples. It’s always important to leave yourself time to draft, and this is especially true with the UC PIQ prompts. As you can likely tell from our UC PIQ examples, strong UC essays don’t appear overnight.

Remember, the UC essay prompts are for four essays of equal length, and each of the UC PIQ prompts holds equal importance. Be considerate when selecting which of the UC PIQs to write about. Select four UC essay prompts that cater best to your lived experiences. If you find yourself struggling to come up with a compelling answer to one of your chosen UC essay prompts, go back to our UC PIQ examples or try another PIQ!

You can also read additional UC personal insight questions examples in this 2019  Insider  article. The two UC PIQ examples in the piece showcase unique backgrounds and the creative ways each author approached their essay.  Also, don’t be afraid to ask for revisions on your UC personal insight questions from a trusted adult; it’s helpful to have another set of eyes checking your UC PIQ responses for grammatical errors, tone, and clarity. Good luck!

This 2021-2022 essay guide on the University of California was written by  Laura Frustaci , Harvard ‘21. For more CollegeAdvisor.com resources on the University of California, click  here . Want help crafting your UC Personal Insight Questions? Create your free  account  or  schedule a no-cost  advising consultation by calling (844) 343-6272.

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University of California (UC) 2024-25 Essay Prompt Guide

Regular Decision: 

Regular Decision Deadline: Nov 30

The Requirements: 4 out of 8 essays, 350 words each

Supplemental Essay Type(s): Oddball , Community , Activity

How to Write UC Personal Insight Questions

The UC application sounds like a riddle. Every student must write four essays, but choose from eight prompts. The rules may be unfamiliar, but the game is the same: tell admissions something they don’t know – and then do it three more times! The instructions counsel you to “select questions that are most relevant to your experience and that best reflect your individual circumstances,” and frankly, we couldn’t agree more. A strategic applicant will choose a constellation of the UC essay prompts that highlight vastly different aspects of their lives and personalities, leaving an admissions officer with a deep and complete picture of who they are. Don’t get hung up on trying to divine the questions admissions wants you to answer. In the end, they just want to get to know the real you, plus the application swears that “there is no advantage or disadvantage to choosing certain questions over others.” So follow your heart (!) and don’t let the fatigue get to you. Avoid robotically starting every answer by restating the question and be as anecdotal as possible. With each essay, your goal isn’t just to answer the question, but to tell a very short story about yourself. So, keep reading to get expert tips on how to write your UC essays!

UC Essay Prompts Breakdown

1. describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes or contributed to group efforts over time.  , things to consider: a leadership role can mean more than just a title. it can mean being a mentor to others, acting as the person in charge of a specific task, or taking the lead role in organizing an event or project. think about what you accomplished and what you learned from the experience. what were your responsibilities, did you lead a team how did your experience change your perspective on leading others did you help to resolve an important dispute at your school, church, in your community or an organization and your leadership role doesn’t necessarily have to be limited to school activities. for example, do you help out or take care of your family.

When answering this UC personal insight question, avoid the siren song of your resume. This question isn’t asking you for a list! Remember: it’s your job, as an applicant, to use every essay as an opportunity to reveal something new about yourself. Think of a moment when you were in a position where you worked really hard to help a group of people. Maybe you are always the one helping your younger siblings with their homework, and you struggled to find ways to engage your dyslexic younger brother with math. Maybe, as a camp counselor or church volunteer, you were in charge of choreographing and instructing a number for a group of seven-year-old hip hop dancers to perform. Perhaps, on a Habitat for Humanity school trip, you became the head cook, whipping up everything from pancakes to chicken fajitas while galvanizing a team of sous chefs to pitch in.  

The point is, try to isolate a single leadership moment, and bring it to life with vivid details. Describe where you were, what was happening around you, and what you were feeling. Discuss what challenges you faced, and what you ultimately learned from the experience. Don’t shy away from challenges or even failures, since these are exactly the sorts of character-building experiences that can demonstrate resilience and quick thinking.

2. Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side.

Things to consider: what does creativity mean to you do you have a creative skill that is important to you what have you been able to do with that skill if you used creativity to solve a problem, what was your solution what are the steps you took to solve the problem, how does your creativity influence your decisions inside or outside the classroom does your creativity relate to your major or a future career.

You may think that this UC personal insight question was geared towards the artistically inclined, but take a closer look. The wording offers many potential definitions that veer away from traditional conceptions of creativity (and actually, it asks you for your personal definition!). Creativity lies in your outlook: seeing the opportunity to use one of your skills in a novel situation; looking at a problem from a new angle to find the solution that no one else could see. This question is, in reality, ideal for the more scientifically oriented to create a more well-rounded profile. Creative types, on the other hand, might want to proceed with caution since, really, every question is an opportunity to show off your talents and describe your artistic endeavors.

No matter who you are, though, remember this classic writing advice: show don’t tell. So, you claim that gardening, or Calculus, or painting is how you show your creative side. Okay. So, then immerse the reader in this activity with you . If you enjoy gardening, describe the plants, their qualities, and how you make your horticultural choices; are you drawn to the aesthetics or are you botanically inquisitive? Similarly, if your subject is Calculus, show the reader how you sat in your dad’s office for six hours straight trying to calculate Pi on a three dozen sheets of paper using red crayon.  If you love to paint, show the reader where you paint, what you paint, and why you paint, describing the colors, textures, materials—the essential process behind your art. Write descriptively so that the reader can feel as if he or she were experiencing your creative passion with you.

3. What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time?  

Things to consider: if there’s a talent or skill that you’re proud of, this is the time to share it. you don’t necessarily have to be recognized or have received awards for your talent (although if you did and you want to talk about it, feel free to do so). why is this talent or skill meaningful to you, does the talent come naturally or have you worked hard to develop this skill or talent does your talent or skill allow you opportunities in or outside the classroom if so, what are they and how do they fit into your schedule.

If question 3 reminds you of question 2, you’re not alone. Often, when we talk about a talent or skill that we have honed over the course of a lifetime, we’re inclined to describe it as an art — a creative extension of who we are. So if you choose to respond to both of these UC personal insight questions, make sure to highlight distinct skills in each. 

The good news is: finding your subject should be easy! You just need to answer this question: what makes you proud? Think about the stories that your friends and family like to share about you. Think about moments when your hard work paid off. When you can zero in on an experience that makes your heart swell, you’ll be able to pinpoint your essential subject. If the memory of your first swim meet victory still makes you smile, draw us into your rigorous training schedule; describe the aspects of the sport that motivate you to wake up early and push yourself. What were your challenges? What has this experience taught you? This narrative should have a clear timeline that traces your growth from the past to the present and into the future. How do you plan to further develop your talent in college and/or after college? Show not only that you have grown, but that you will continue to grow as you take your first steps into adulthood.

4. Describe how you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity or worked to overcome an educational barrier you have faced.

Things to consider: an educational opportunity can be anything that has added value to your educational experience and better prepared you for college. for example, participation in an honors or academic enrichment program, or enrollment in an academy that’s geared toward an occupation or a major, or taking advanced courses that interest you — just to name a few. , if you choose to write about educational barriers you’ve faced, how did you overcome or strive to overcome them what personal characteristics or skills did you call on to overcome this challenge how did overcoming this barrier help shape who are you today.

This question is tricky because it has two parts. So first break the question down: You can write about either A.) How you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity OR B.) How you have worked to overcome an educational barrier. The “or” is key. You are not being asked to write about both parts of this question. Just write about one.

If you have participated in an afterschool program, internship, honors program, or a special class that was meaningful or inspiring to you, you will want to think about choosing option A.  Maybe it was an afterschool program for young, aspiring lawyers, or an advanced history class that you took at your local community college. This is an opportunity for you to showcase your ambition and highlight the kinds of challenges that engage and excite you. Beyond underscoring an academic interest, reflect on the personal qualities required for you to succeed. And remember to show, not tell! It will save you from accidentally humble-bragging your way through this assignment. 

Now, for option B. If you have worked to overcome a disability, struggled in school because you have a different background than your peers, suffered financial hardship, or something along those lines, you can choose to write about option B. To nail this tricky task, you will need to highlight not only the ways you struggled, but also the qualities that helped you succeed. How would you define yourself? Resilient? Hardworking? Brave? Zero in on a quality that resonates with you, and write targeted descriptions that bring it to life. (No one is going to believe you if you just write, “I am resilient,” and leave it at that.) Lastly, reflect on how this barrier shaped who you are today, and what skills you gained through facing this educational barrier.

5. Describe the most significant challenge you have faced and the steps you have taken to overcome this challenge. How has this challenge affected your academic achievement?

Things to consider: a challenge could be personal, or something you have faced in your community or school. why was the challenge significant to you this is a good opportunity to talk about any obstacles you’ve faced and what you’ve learned from the experience. did you have support from someone else or did you handle it alone, if you’re currently working your way through a challenge, what are you doing now, and does that affect different aspects of your life for example, ask yourself, “how has my life changed at home, at my school, with my friends or with my family”.

If you skipped question 4 or chose to write about option A, this question is a gift: a second chance to showcase your resilience in the face of obstacles. On the other hand, if you chose to write about option B in question 4, this might feel redundant. You are free to write about both, but again, proceed with caution and be sure to select a totally different challenge.

We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again: questions that ask you to describe a struggle or failure are really probing for stories about success. What pro-active steps did you take to address the problem at hand? Even if your solution didn’t work out perfectly, what did you learn? In facing this challenge, did you discover a courageous, creative, or hard-working side of yourself? Did you learn something valuable about yourself or others? Highlight the upside. How did this challenge shape who you are today? And how will the skills that you gained dealing with this challenge will help you in college and beyond?

6. Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom. 

Things to consider: many students have a passion for one specific academic subject area, something that they just can’t get enough of. if that applies to you, what have you done to further that interest discuss how your interest in the subject developed and describe any experience you have had inside and outside the classroom — such as volunteer work, internships, employment, summer programs, participation in student organizations and/or clubs — and what you have gained from your involvement., has your interest in the subject influenced you in choosing a major and/or future career have you been able to pursue coursework at a higher level in this subject (honors, ap, ib, college or university work) are you inspired to pursue this subject further at uc, and how might you do that.

If you’ve ever referred to yourself as a “nerd” or “geek”, this question is probably for you. To nail down a topic for this bad boy, you can work in two directions: (1) think about how your favorite academic subject has impacted your extracurricular pursuits, or (2) trace one of your favorite hobbies back to its origins in the classroom. Maybe your love of languages led you to take a job at a coffee shop frequented by multilingual tourists. Or perhaps your now-extensive coin collection was resurrected when you did a research project on ancient Roman currency. Whichever way you go about it, building a bridge between the scholarly and the personal lies at the heart of answering this prompt.

7. What have you done to make your school or your community a better place? 

Things to consider: think of community as a term that can encompass a group, team or a place —like your high school, hometown or home. you can define community as you see fit, just make sure you talk about your role in that community. was there a problem that you wanted to fix in your community, why were you inspired to act what did you learn from your effort how did your actions benefit others, the wider community or both did you work alone or with others to initiate change in your community.

Some backwards advice: When writing about community service, you should always start with yourself. Community service essays are cliché minefields. To avoid drifting into platitudes, you need to ground your writing in the specificity of your life. Don’t start with the action and end with what you learned. Instead, dig into your motivations. If you spent weeks petitioning your school community to raise the hourly wage for custodial staff, what prompted you to act? What assumptions did you have about income inequality and what did you learn about your community in the process? Or, maybe you weren’t too enthused about your community service. Maybe you participated in a soccer-team-mandated day of coaching a pee-wee team. What caused your skepticism? How did you turn the experience around?

Also, don’t just choose a topic that sounds impressive. “This year I acted as the co-chair of the Honors Society, presiding over twenty different cases.” If you didn’t, in fact, really enjoy Honors Society, write about a topic that means something to you instead. Think of a moment where you felt like you made a change in your local community. It can be something small; it does not have to be monumental, but it should mean a great deal to you. Describe the moment, using detail to bring it to life, and then reflect on what that experience taught you, and how you hope to continue these activities in the future.

8. Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes you a strong candidate for admissions to the University of California?

Things to consider: if there’s anything you want us to know about you, but didn’t find a question or place in the application to tell us, now’s your change. what have you not shared with us that will highlight a skill, talent, challenge or opportunity that you think will help us know you better, from your point of view, what do you feel makes you an excellent choice for uc don’t be afraid to brag a little..

This question is really just what it says it is—an open-ended, choose-your-own-adventure question.  Is there something that you really, really want to tell the UC admissions team that you feel makes you a strong and unique candidate that is not showcased in the other three personal insight questions? As with the other questions, whatever topic you choose, please use detail and description to bring this topic to life for the reader, and include thoughtful reflection on why this topic matters to you. Also, be sure to explain why your chosen topic makes you stand out as a strong candidate for the UC schools, since the question specifically asks you to do that!

Why Choose College Essay Advisors for UC Essays

College Essay Advisors has over twenty years of experience guiding students one-on-one through the essay writing process for the University of California (UC) system. We take a holistic approach to these essays, considering each student’s application package as a whole. It’s incredibly important to us that each student’s voice is preserved, and we pride ourselves in helping students to write successful UC personal insight essays that differentiate them from similarly qualified applicants.

We hope you enjoyed our UC application essay tips! Don’t hesitate to submit a contact form below if you’d like to work with an experienced College Essay Advisor on your drafts!

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Frequently Asked Questions

Applicants must respond to four (4) out of the eight (8) Personal Insight Questions.

Each UC Personal Insight Question asks for a response of 350 words.

We recommend reading each prompt and jotting down a few ideas that come to mind. Next, review your notes and elaborate on each story. You’ll be able to tell rather quickly which of your stories have the most potential to transform into 350-word essays and reveal new, interesting information to admissions regarding your candidacy!

As with all application essays, admissions is hoping to read essays that help them to get to know the person behind the application data. They even say on their website , “There is no right or wrong way to answer these questions. It’s about getting to know your personality, background, interests and achievements in your own unique voice.”

No! You need to write a total of four (4) essays. These essays should have very little (if any) overlap.

The UC essays are quite important! They’re your only opportunity to speak to admissions in your own voice. The admissions committee will be reviewing dozens of applications each day, which means they are assessing a lot of data. These essays present an opportunity for you to humanize your application and stand out from the crowd.

Applicants will want to avoid silly grammar mistakes , repeating the prompt in their response, and telling rather than showing (e.g., saying you are determined without giving an example of a time you displayed determination).

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Spring 2022 Undergraduate Essay Contest

Berkeley Economic Review is now accepting submissions for our Undergraduate Essay Contest! This semester, we have picked a multifaceted prompt and will be publishing the winning submission in the upcoming issue of our magazine.

Our prompt for this semester is: “Can small town economies continue to sustain communities in an increasingly urbanized world?”

By writing one of the top responses, you will: – Have your work published in the Spring 2022 Issue of Equilibrium – Be recognized on BER’s social media and website – Receive a cash prize

Write a short essay of up to 1500 words to support your claim. If necessary, please cite your sources.

DUE DATE: April 12, 2022 at 11:59 p.m.

Please send your response as a PDF to  [email protected]  with the subject line: “S22 Undergraduate Essay Contest [Your Name]”

Feel free to message us on Facebook or email us ( [email protected] ) with any questions. Good luck!

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