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Bad College Essays: 10 Mistakes You Must Avoid

College Essays

Just as there are noteworthy examples of excellent college essays that admissions offices like to publish, so are there cringe-worthy examples of terrible college essays that end up being described by anonymous admissions officers on Reddit discussion boards.

While I won't guarantee that your essay will end up in the first category, I will say that you follow my advice in this article, your essay most assuredly won't end up in the second. How do you avoid writing a bad admissions essay? Read on to find out what makes an essay bad and to learn which college essay topics to avoid. I'll also explain how to recognize bad college essays—and what to do to if you end up creating one by accident.

What Makes Bad College Essays Bad

What exactly happens to turn a college essay terrible? Just as great personal statements combine an unexpected topic with superb execution, flawed personal statements compound problematic subject matter with poor execution.

Problems With the Topic

The primary way to screw up a college essay is to flub what the essay is about or how you've decided to discuss a particular experience. Badly chosen essay content can easily create an essay that is off-putting in one of a number of ways I'll discuss in the next section.

The essay is the place to let the admissions office of your target college get to know your personality, character, and the talents and skills that aren't on your transcript. So if you start with a terrible topic, not only will you end up with a bad essay, but you risk ruining the good impression that the rest of your application makes.

Some bad topics show admissions officers that you don't have a good sense of judgment or maturity , which is a problem since they are building a class of college students who have to be able to handle independent life on campus.

Other bad topics suggest that you are a boring person , or someone who doesn't process your experience in a colorful or lively way, which is a problem since colleges want to create a dynamic and engaged cohort of students.

Still other bad topics indicate that you're unaware of or disconnected from the outside world and focused only on yourself , which is a problem since part of the point of college is to engage with new people and new ideas, and admissions officers are looking for people who can do that.

Problems With the Execution

Sometimes, even if the experiences you discuss could be the foundation of a great personal statement, the way you've structured and put together your essay sends up warning flags. This is because the admissions essay is also a place to show the admissions team the maturity and clarity of your writing style.

One way to get this part wrong is to exhibit very faulty writing mechanics , like unclear syntax or incorrectly used punctuation. This is a problem since college-ready writing is one of the things that's expected from a high school graduate.

Another way to mess this up is to ignore prompt instructions either for creative or careless reasons. This can show admissions officers that you're either someone who simply blows off directions and instructions or someone who can't understand how to follow them . Neither is a good thing, since they are looking for people who are open to receiving new information from professors and not just deciding they know everything already.

College Essay Topics To Avoid

Want to know why you're often advised to write about something mundane and everyday for your college essay? That's because the more out-there your topic, the more likely it is to stumble into one of these trouble categories.

Too Personal

The problem with the overly personal essay topic is that revealing something very private can show that you don't really understand boundaries . And knowing where appropriate boundaries are will be key for living on your own with a bunch of people not related to you.

Unfortunately, stumbling into the TMI zone of essay topics is more common than you think. One quick test for checking your privacy-breaking level: if it's not something you'd tell a friendly stranger sitting next to you on the plane, maybe don't tell it to the admissions office.

• Describing losing your virginity, or anything about your sex life really. This doesn't mean you can't write about your sexual orientation—just leave out the actual physical act.
• Writing in too much detail about your illness, disability, any other bodily functions. Detailed meaningful discussion of what this physical condition has meant to you and your life is a great thing to write about. But stay away from body horror and graphic descriptions that are simply there for gratuitous shock value.
• Waxing poetic about your love for your significant other. Your relationship is adorable to the people currently involved in it, but those who don't know you aren't invested in this aspect of your life.
• Confessing to odd and unusual desires of the sexual or illegal variety. Your obsession with cultivating cacti is wonderful topic, while your obsession with researching explosives is a terrible one.

Too Revealing of Bad Judgment

Generally speaking, leave past illegal or immoral actions out of your essay . It's simply a bad idea to give admissions officers ammunition to dislike you.

Some exceptions might be if you did something in a very, very different mindset from the one you're in now (in the midst of escaping from danger, under severe coercion, or when you were very young, for example). Or if your essay is about explaining how you've turned over a new leaf and you have the transcript to back you up.

• Writing about committing crime as something fun or exciting. Unless it's on your permanent record, and you'd like a chance to explain how you've learned your lesson and changed, don't put this in your essay.
• Describing drug use or the experience of being drunk or high. Even if you're in a state where some recreational drugs are legal, you're a high school student. Your only exposure to mind-altering substances should be caffeine.
• Making up fictional stories about yourself as though they are true. You're unlikely to be a good enough fantasist to pull this off, and there's no reason to roll the dice on being discovered to be a liar.
• Detailing your personality flaws. Unless you have a great story of coping with one of these, leave deal-breakers like pathological narcissism out of your personal statement.

Too Overconfident

While it's great to have faith in your abilities, no one likes a relentless show-off. No matter how magnificent your accomplishments, if you decide to focus your essay on them, it's better to describe a setback or a moment of doubt rather that simply praising yourself to the skies.

• Bragging and making yourself the flawless hero of your essay. This goes double if you're writing about not particularly exciting achievements like scoring the winning goal or getting the lead in the play.
• Having no awareness of the actual scope of your accomplishments. It's lovely that you take time to help others, but volunteer-tutoring a couple of hours a week doesn't make you a saintly figure.

Too Clichéd or Boring

Remember your reader. In this case, you're trying to make yourself memorable to an admissions officer who has been reading thousands of other essays . If your essay makes the mistake of being boring or trite, it just won't register in that person's mind as anything worth paying attention to.

• Transcribing your resume into sentence form or writing about the main activity on your transcript. The application already includes your resume, or a detailed list of your various activities. Unless the prompt specifically asks you to write about your main activity, the essay needs to be about a facet of your interests and personality that doesn't come through the other parts of the application.
• Writing about sports. Every athlete tries to write this essay. Unless you have a completely off-the-wall story or unusual achievement, leave this overdone topic be.
• Being moved by your community service trip to a third-world country. Were you were impressed at how happy the people seemed despite being poor? Did you learn a valuable lesson about how privileged you are? Unfortunately, so has every other teenager who traveled on one of these trips. Writing about this tends to simultaneously make you sound unempathetic, clueless about the world, way over-privileged, and condescending. Unless you have a highly specific, totally unusual story to tell, don't do it.
• Reacting with sadness to a sad, but very common experience. Unfortunately, many of the hard, formative events in your life are fairly universal. So, if you're going to write about death or divorce, make sure to focus on how you dealt with this event, so the essay is something only you could possibly have written. Only detailed, idiosyncratic description can save this topic.
• Going meta. Don't write about the fact that you're writing the essay as we speak, and now the reader is reading it, and look, the essay is right here in the reader's hand. It's a technique that seems clever, but has already been done many times in many different ways.
• Offering your ideas on how to fix the world. This is especially true if your solution is an easy fix, if only everyone would just listen to you. Trust me, there's just no way you are being realistically appreciative of the level of complexity inherent in the problem you're describing.
• Starting with a famous quotation. There usually is no need to shore up your own words by bringing in someone else's. Of course, if you are writing about a particular phrase that you've adopted as a life motto, feel free to include it. But even then, having it be the first line in your essay feels like you're handing the keys over to that author and asking them to drive.
• Using an everyday object as a metaphor for your life/personality. "Shoes. They are like this, and like that, and people love them for all of these reasons. And guess what? They are just like me."

Too Off-Topic

Unlike the essays you've been writing in school where the idea is to analyze something outside of yourself, the main subject of your college essay should be you, your background, your makeup, and your future . Writing about someone or something else might well make a great essay, but not for this context.

• Paying tribute to someone very important to you. Everyone would love to meet your grandma, but this isn't the time to focus on her amazing coming of age story. If you do want to talk about a person who is important to your life, dwell on the ways you've been impacted by them, and how you will incorporate this impact into your future.
• Documenting how well other people do things, say things, are active, while you remain passive and inactive in the essay. Being in the orbit of someone else's important lab work, or complex stage production, or meaningful political activism is a fantastic learning moment. But if you decide to write about, your essay should be about your learning and how you've been influenced, not about the other person's achievements.
• Concentrating on a work of art that deeply moved you. Watch out for the pitfall of writing an analytical essay about that work, and not at all about your reaction to it or how you've been affected since. Check out our explanation of how to answer Topic D of the ApplyTexas application to get some advice on writing about someone else's work while making sure your essay still points back at you.

(Image: Pieter Christoffel Wonder [Public domain] , via Wikimedia Commons)

Too Offensive

With this potential mistake, you run the risk of showing a lack of self-awareness or the ability to be open to new ideas . Remember, no reader wants to be lectured at. If that's what your essay does, you are demonstrating an inability to communicate successfully with others.

Also, remember that no college is eager to admit someone who is too close-minded to benefit from being taught by others. A long, one-sided essay about a hot-button issue will suggest that you are exactly that.

• Ranting at length about political, religious, or other contentious topics. You simply don't know where the admissions officer who reads your essay stands on any of these issues. It's better to avoid upsetting or angering that person.
• Writing a one-sided diatribe about guns, abortion, the death penalty, immigration, or anything else in the news. Even if you can marshal facts in your argument, this essay is simply the wrong place to take a narrow, unempathetic side in an ongoing debate.
• Mentioning anything negative about the school you're applying to. Again, your reader is someone who works there and presumably is proud of the place. This is not the time to question the admissions officer's opinions or life choices.

College Essay Execution Problems To Avoid

Bad college essays aren't only caused by bad topics. Sometimes, even if you're writing about an interesting, relevant topic, you can still seem immature or unready for college life because of the way you present that topic—the way you actually write your personal statement. Check to make sure you haven't made any of the common mistakes on this list.

Tone-Deafness

Admissions officers are looking for resourcefulness, the ability to be resilient, and an active and optimistic approach to life —these are all qualities that create a thriving college student. Essays that don't show these qualities are usually suffering from tone-deafness.

• Being whiny or complaining about problems in your life. Is the essay about everyone doing things to/against you? About things happening to you, rather than you doing anything about them? That perspective is a definite turn-off.
• Trying and failing to use humor. You may be very funny in real life, but it's hard to be successfully funny in this context, especially when writing for a reader who doesn't know you. If you do want to use humor, I'd recommend the simplest and most straightforward version: being self-deprecating and low-key.
• Talking down to the reader, or alternately being self-aggrandizing. No one enjoys being condescended to. In this case, much of the function of your essay is to charm and make yourself likable, which is unlikely to happen if you adopt this tone.
• Being pessimistic, cynical, and generally depressive. You are applying to college because you are looking forward to a future of learning, achievement, and self-actualization. This is not the time to bust out your existential ennui and your jaded, been-there-done-that attitude toward life.

(Image: Eduard Munch [Public Domain] , via Wikimedia Commons)

Lack of Personality

One good question to ask yourself is: could anyone else have written this essay ? If the answer is yes, then you aren't doing a good job of representing your unique perspective on the world. It's very important to demonstrate your ability to be a detailed observer of the world, since that will be one of your main jobs as a college student.

• Avoiding any emotions, and appearing robot-like and cold in the essay. Unlike essays that you've been writing for class, this essay is meant to be a showcase of your authorial voice and personality. It may seem strange to shift gears after learning how to take yourself out of your writing, but this is the place where you have to put as much as yourself in as possible.
• Skipping over description and specific details in favor of writing only in vague generalities. Does your narrative feel like a newspaper horoscope, which could apply to every other person who was there that day? Then you're doing it wrong and need to refocus on your reaction, feelings, understanding, and transformation.

Off-Kilter Style

There's some room for creativity here, yes, but a college essay isn't a free-for-all postmodern art class . True, there are prompts that specifically call for your most out-of-left-field submission, or allow you to submit a portfolio or some other work sample instead of a traditional essay. But on a standard application, it's better to stick to traditional prose, split into paragraphs, further split into sentences.

• Submitting anything other than just the materials asked for on your application. Don't send food to the admissions office, don't write your essay on clothing or shoes, don't create a YouTube channel about your undying commitment to the school. I know there are a lot of urban legends about "that one time this crazy thing worked," but they are either not true or about something that will not work a second time.
• Writing your essay in verse, in the form of a play, in bullet points, as an acrostic, or any other non-prose form. Unless you really have a way with poetry or playwriting, and you are very confident that you can meet the demands of the prompt and explain yourself well in this form, don't discard prose simply for the sake of being different.
• Using as many "fancy" words as possible and getting very far away from sounding like yourself. Admissions officers are unanimous in wanting to hear your not fully formed teenage voice in your essay. This means that you should write at the top of your vocabulary range and syntax complexity, but don't trade every word up for a thesaurus synonym. Your essay will suffer for it.

Failure to Proofread

Most people have a hard time checking over their own work. This is why you have to make sure that someone else proofreads your writing . This is the one place where you can, should—and really must—get someone who knows all about grammar, punctuation and has a good eye for detail to take a red pencil to your final draft.

Otherwise, you look like you either don't know the basic rules or writing (in which case, are you really ready for college work?) or don't care enough to present yourself well (in which case, why would the admissions people care about admitting you?).

• Typos, grammatical mistakes, punctuation flubs, weird font/paragraph spacing issues. It's true that these are often unintentional mistakes. But caring about getting it right is a way to demonstrate your work ethic and dedication to the task at hand.
• Going over the word limit. Part of showing your brilliance is being able to work within arbitrary rules and limitations. Going over the word count points to a lack of self-control, which is not a very attractive feature in a college applicant.
• Repeating the same word(s) or sentence structure over and over again. This makes your prose monotonous and hard to read.

Bad College Essay Examples—And How to Fix Them

The beauty of writing is that you get to rewrite. So if you think of your essay as a draft waiting to be revised into a better version rather than as a precious jewel that can't bear being touched, you'll be in far better shape to correct the issues that always crop up!

Now let's take a look at some actual college essay drafts to see where the writer is going wrong and how the issue could be fixed.

Essay #1: The "I Am Writing This Essay as We Speak" Meta-Narrative

Was your childhood home destroyed by a landspout tornado? Yeah, neither was mine. I know that intro might have given the impression that this college essay will be about withstanding disasters, but the truth is that it isn't about that at all.

In my junior year, I always had in mind an image of myself finishing the college essay months before the deadline. But as the weeks dragged on and the deadline drew near, it soon became clear that at the rate things are going I would probably have to make new plans for my October, November and December.

Falling into my personal wormhole, I sat down with my mom to talk about colleges. "Maybe you should write about Star Trek ," she suggested, "you know how you've always been obsessed with Captain Picard, calling him your dream mentor. Unique hobbies make good topics, right? You'll sound creative!" I played with the thought in my mind, tapping my imaginary communicator pin and whispering "Computer. Tea. Earl Grey. Hot. And then an Essay." Nothing happened. Instead, I sat quietly in my room wrote the old-fashioned way. Days later I emerged from my room disheveled, but to my dismay, this college essay made me sound like just a guy who can't get over the fact that he'll never take the Starfleet Academy entrance exam. So, I tossed my essay away without even getting to disintegrate it with a phaser set on stun.

I fell into a state of panic. My college essay. My image of myself in senior year. Almost out of nowhere, Robert Jameson Smith offered his words of advice. Perfect! He suggested students begin their college essay by listing their achievements and letting their essay materialize from there. My heart lifted, I took his advice and listed three of my greatest achievements - mastering my backgammon strategy, being a part of TREE in my sophomore year, and performing "I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General" from The Pirates of Penzance in public. And sure enough, I felt inspiration hit me and began to type away furiously into the keyboard about my experience in TREE, or Trees Require Engaged Environmentalists. I reflected on the current state of deforestation, and described the dichotomy of it being both understandable why farmers cut down forests for farmland, and how dangerous this is to our planet. Finally, I added my personal epiphany to the end of my college essay as the cherry on the vanilla sundae, as the overused saying goes.

After 3 weeks of figuring myself out, I have converted myself into a piece of writing. As far as achievements go, this was definitely an amazing one. The ability to transform a human being into 603 words surely deserves a gold medal. Yet in this essay, I was still being nagged by a voice that couldn't be ignored. Eventually, I submitted to that yelling inner voice and decided that this was not the right essay either.

In the middle of a hike through Philadelphia's Fairmount Park, I realized that the college essay was nothing more than an embodiment of my character. The two essays I have written were not right because they have failed to become more than just words on recycled paper. The subject failed to come alive. Certainly my keen interest in Star Trek and my enthusiasm for TREE are a great part of who I am, but there were other qualities essential in my character that did not come across in the essays.

With this realization, I turned around as quickly as I could without crashing into a tree.

What Essay #1 Does Well

Here are all things that are working on all cylinders for this personal statement as is.

Killer First Sentence

Was your childhood home destroyed by a landspout tornado? Yeah, neither was mine.

• A strange fact. There are different kinds of tornadoes? What is a "landspout tornado" anyway?
• A late-night-deep-thoughts hypothetical. What would it be like to be a kid whose house was destroyed in this unusual way?
• Direct engagement with the reader. Instead of asking "what would it be like to have a tornado destroy a house" it asks "was your house ever destroyed."

Gentle, Self-Deprecating Humor That Lands Well

I played with the thought in my mind, tapping my imaginary communicator pin and whispering "Computer. Tea. Earl Grey. Hot. And then an Essay." Nothing happened. Instead, I sat quietly in my room wrote the old-fashioned way. Days later I emerged from my room disheveled, but to my dismay, this college essay made me sound like just a guy who can't get over the fact that he'll never take the Starfleet Academy entrance exam. So, I tossed my essay away without even getting to disintegrate it with a phaser set on stun.

The author has his cake and eats it too here: both making fun of himself for being super into the Star Trek mythos, but also showing himself being committed enough to try whispering a command to the Enterprise computer alone in his room. You know, just in case.

A Solid Point That Is Made Paragraph by Paragraph

The meat of the essay is that the two versions of himself that the author thought about portraying each fails in some way to describe the real him. Neither an essay focusing on his off-beat interests, nor an essay devoted to his serious activism could capture everything about a well-rounded person in 600 words.

(Image: fir0002 via Wikimedia Commons .)

Where Essay #1 Needs Revision

Rewriting these flawed parts will make the essay shine.

Spending Way Too Long on the Metanarrative

I know that intro might have given the impression that this college essay will be about withstanding disasters, but the truth is that it isn't about that at all.

After 3 weeks of figuring myself out, I have converted myself into a piece of writing. As far as achievements go, this was definitely an amazing one. The ability to transform a human being into 603 words surely deserves a gold medal.

Look at how long and draggy these paragraphs are, especially after that zippy opening. Is it at all interesting to read about how someone else found the process of writing hard? Not really, because this is a very common experience.

In the rewrite, I'd advise condensing all of this to maybe a sentence to get to the meat of the actual essay .

Letting Other People Do All the Doing

I sat down with my mom to talk about colleges. "Maybe you should write about Star Trek ," she suggested, "you know how you've always been obsessed with Captain Picard, calling him your dream mentor. Unique hobbies make good topics, right? You'll sound creative!"

Almost out of nowhere, Robert Jameson Smith offered his words of advice. Perfect! He suggested students begin their college essay by listing their achievements and letting their essay materialize from there.

Twice in the essay, the author lets someone else tell him what to do. Not only that, but it sounds like both of the "incomplete" essays were dictated by the thoughts of other people and had little to do with his own ideas, experiences, or initiative.

In the rewrite, it would be better to recast both the Star Trek and the TREE versions of the essay as the author's own thoughts rather than someone else's suggestions . This way, the point of the essay—taking apart the idea that a college essay could summarize life experience—is earned by the author's two failed attempts to write that other kind of essay.

Leaving the Insight and Meaning Out of His Experiences

Both the Star Trek fandom and the TREE activism were obviously important life experiences for this author—important enough to be potential college essay topic candidates. But there is no description of what the author did with either one, nor any explanation of why these were so meaningful to his life.

It's fine to say that none of your achievements individually define you, but in order for that to work, you have to really sell the achievements themselves.

In the rewrite, it would be good to explore what he learned about himself and the world by pursuing these interests . How did they change him or seen him into the person he is today?

Not Adding New Shades and Facets of Himself Into the Mix

So, I tossed my essay away without even getting to disintegrate it with a phaser set on stun.

Yet in this essay, I was still being nagged by a voice that couldn't be ignored. Eventually, I submitted to that yelling inner voice and decided that this was not the right essay either.

In both of these passages, there is the perfect opportunity to point out what exactly these failed versions of the essay didn't capture about the author . In the next essay draft, I would suggest subtly making a point about his other qualities.

For example, after the Star Trek paragraph, he could talk about other culture he likes to consume, especially if he can discuss art forms he is interested in that would not be expected from someone who loves Star Trek .

Or, after the TREE paragraph, the author could explain why this second essay was no better at capturing him than the first. What was missing? Why is the self in the essay shouting—is it because this version paints him as an overly aggressive activist?

Essay #2: The "I Once Saw Poor People" Service Trip Essay

Unlike other teenagers, I'm not concerned about money, or partying, or what others think of me. Unlike other eighteen year-olds, I think about my future, and haven't become totally materialistic and acquisitive. My whole outlook on life changed after I realized that my life was just being handed to me on a silver spoon, and yet there were those in the world who didn't have enough food to eat or place to live. I realized that the one thing that this world needed more than anything was compassion; compassion for those less fortunate than us.

During the summer of 2006, I went on a community service trip to rural Peru to help build an elementary school for kids there. I expected harsh conditions, but what I encountered was far worse. It was one thing to watch commercials asking for donations to help the unfortunate people in less developed countries, yet it was a whole different story to actually live it. Even after all this time, I can still hear babies crying from hunger; I can still see the filthy rags that they wore; I can still smell the stench of misery and hopelessness. But my most vivid memory was the moment I first got to the farming town. The conditions of it hit me by surprise; it looked much worse in real life than compared to the what our group leader had told us. Poverty to me and everyone else I knew was a foreign concept that people hear about on the news or see in documentaries. But this abject poverty was their life, their reality. And for the brief ten days I was there, it would be mine too. As all of this realization came at once, I felt overwhelmed by the weight of what was to come. Would I be able to live in the same conditions as these people? Would I catch a disease that no longer existed in the first world, or maybe die from drinking contaminated water? As these questions rolled around my already dazed mind, I heard a soft voice asking me in Spanish, "Are you okay? Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?" I looked down to see a small boy, around nine years of age, who looked starved, and cold, wearing tattered clothing, comforting me. These people who have so little were able to forget their own needs, and put those much more fortunate ahead of themselves. It was at that moment that I saw how selfish I had been. How many people suffered like this in the world, while I went about life concerned about nothing at all?

Thinking back on the trip, maybe I made a difference, maybe not. But I gained something much more important. I gained the desire to make the world a better place for others. It was in a small, poverty-stricken village in Peru that I finally realized that there was more to life than just being alive.

What Essay #2 Does Well

Let's first point out what this draft has going for it.

Clear Chronology

This is an essay that tries to explain a shift in perspective. There are different ways to structure this overarching idea, but a chronological approach that starts with an earlier opinion, describes a mind changing event, and ends with the transformed point of view is an easy and clear way to lay this potentially complex subject out.

(Image: User:Lite via Wikimedia Commons)

Where Essay #2 Needs Revision

Now let's see what needs to be changed in order for this essay to pass muster.

Condescending, Obnoxious Tone

Unlike other teenagers, I'm not concerned about money, or partying, or what others think of me. Unlike other eighteen year-olds, I think about my future, and haven't become totally materialistic and acquisitive.

This is a very broad generalization, which doesn't tend to be the best way to formulate an argument—or to start an essay. It just makes this author sound dismissive of a huge swath of the population.

In the rewrite, this author would be way better off just concentrate on what she want to say about herself, not pass judgment on "other teenagers," most of whom she doesn't know and will never meet.

I realized that the one thing that this world needed more than anything was compassion; compassion for those less fortunate than us.

Coming from someone who hasn't earned her place in the world through anything but the luck of being born, the word "compassion" sounds really condescending. Calling others "less fortunate" when you're a senior in high school has a dehumanizing quality to it.

These people who have so little were able to forget their own needs, and put those much more fortunate in front of themselves.

Again, this comes across as very patronizing. Not only that, but to this little boy the author was clearly not looking all that "fortunate"—instead, she looked pathetic enough to need comforting.

In the next draft, a better hook could be making the essay about the many different kinds of shifting perspectives the author encountered on that trip . A more meaningful essay would compare and contrast the points of view of the TV commercials, to what the group leader said, to the author's own expectations, and finally to this child's point of view.

Vague, Unobservant Description

During the summer of 2006, I went on a community service trip to rural Peru to help build an elementary school for kids there. I expected harsh conditions, but what I encountered was far worse. It was one thing to watch commercials asking for donations to help the unfortunate people in less developed countries, yet it was a whole different story to actually live it. Even after all this time, I can still hear babies crying from hunger; I can still see the filthy rags that they wore; I can still smell the stench of misery and hopelessness.

Phrases like "cries of the small children from not having enough to eat" and "dirt stained rags" seem like descriptions, but they're really closer to incurious and completely hackneyed generalizations. Why were the kids were crying? How many kids? All the kids? One specific really loud kid?

The same goes for "filthy rags," which is both an incredibly insensitive way to talk about the clothing of these villagers, and again shows a total lack of interest in their life. Why were their clothes dirty? Were they workers or farmers so their clothes showing marks of labor? Did they have Sunday clothes? Traditional clothes they would put on for special occasions? Did they make their own clothes? That would be a good reason to keep wearing clothing even if it had "stains" on it.

The rewrite should either make this section more specific and less reliant on cliches, or should discard it altogether .

The conditions of it hit me by surprise; it looked much worse in real life than compared to the what our group leader had told us. Poverty to me and everyone else I knew was a foreign concept that people hear about on the news or see in documentaries. But this abject poverty was their life, their reality.

If this is the "most vivid memory," then I would expect to read all the details that have been seared into the author's brain. What did their leader tell them? What was different in real life? What was the light like? What did the houses/roads/grass/fields/trees/animals/cars look like? What time of day was it? Did they get there by bus, train, or plane? Was there an airport/train station/bus terminal? A city center? Shops? A marketplace?

There are any number of details to include here when doing another drafting pass.

Lack of Insight or Maturity

But this abject poverty was their life, their reality. And for the brief ten days I was there, it would be mine too. As all of this realization came at once, I felt overwhelmed by the weight of what was to come. Would I be able to live in the same conditions as these people? Would I catch a disease that no longer existed in the first world, or maybe die from drinking contaminated water?

Without a framing device explaining that this initial panic was an overreaction, this section just makes the author sound whiny, entitled, melodramatic, and immature . After all, this isn't a a solo wilderness trek—the author is there with a paid guided program. Just how much mortality is typically associated with these very standard college-application-boosting service trips?

In a rewrite, I would suggest including more perspective on the author's outsized and overprivileged response here. This would fit well with a new focus on the different points of view on this village the author encountered.

Unearned, Clichéd "Deep Thoughts"

But I gained something much more important. I gained the desire to make the world a better place for others. It was in a small, poverty-stricken village in Peru that I finally realized that there was more to life than just being alive.

Is it really believable that this is what the author learned? There is maybe some evidence to suggest that the author was shaken somewhat out of a comfortable, materialistic existence. But what does "there is more to life than just being alive" even really mean? This conclusion is rather vague, and seems mostly a non sequitur.

In a rewrite, the essay should be completely reoriented to discuss how differently others see us than we see ourselves, pivoting on the experience of being pitied by someone who you thought was pitiable. Then, the new version can end by on a note of being better able to understand different points of view and other people's perspectives .

The Bottom Line

• Bad college essays have problems either with their topics or their execution.
• The essay is how admissions officers learn about your personality, point of view, and maturity level, so getting the topic right is a key factor in letting them see you as an aware, self-directed, open-minded applicant who is going to thrive in an environment of independence.
• The essay is also how admissions officers learn that you are writing at a ready-for-college level, so screwing up the execution shows that you either don't know how to write, or don't care enough to do it well.
• The main ways college essay topics go wrong is bad taste, bad judgment, and lack of self-awareness.
• The main ways college essays fail in their execution have to do with ignoring format, syntax, and genre expectations.

What's Next?

Want to read some excellent college essays now that you've seen some examples of flawed one? Take a look through our roundup of college essay examples published by colleges and then get help with brainstorming your perfect college essay topic .

Need some guidance on other parts of the application process? Check out our detailed, step-by-step guide to college applications for advice.

Are you considering taking the SAT or ACT again before you submit your application? Read about our famous test prep guides for hints and strategies for a better score.

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Daily Writing Tips

Common college essay mistakes to avoid.

Proofreading errors are a common issue that many college students face when writing essays. As the field of freelance writing has grown, it has become an increasingly flexible and attractive career path. However, to succeed in this field, it is essential to develop a strong skillset, including the ability to proofread and avoid common essay writing mistakes. 

This article will cover the most frequent grammar errors, structural issues, and other common mistakes found in college essays, as well as the important role that proofreading plays in avoiding these pitfalls. Keep reading to help recognize what mistakes you may be making in order to elevate your material to be noticed. 

What Are the Most Common Grammar Mistakes in College Essays?

One of the most common issues in college essays is the incorrect use of grammar . From simple homophones to complex subject-verb agreement, grammar errors can undermine the clarity and professionalism of a student’s writing. This is why some students opt to hire an essay writer who can help ensure their work is polished and free of grammatical errors.

By understanding the most common grammatical mistakes, students can better prepare themselves to identify and correct these issues during the proofreading process, or when they work alongside a professional writer.

Pay particular attention to the following issues to help keep your work polished and understandable:

• For example: 

Incorrect: The students are going over there notes before the exam.

Correct: The students are going over their notes before the exam.

Incorrect: The team of players were excited about the big game.

Correct: The team of players was excited about the big game.

• For example:

Incorrect: A student should always do their homework on time.

Correct: A student should always do his or her homework on time.

Incorrect: The weather was sunny, we decided to go to the beach.

Correct: The weather was sunny, so we decided to go to the beach.

Incorrect: The students notebooks were left on the desk.

Correct: The students’ notebooks were left on the desk.

Incorrect: Walking through the park, the birds were singing.

Correct: As I was walking through the park, the birds were singing.

Incorrect: The researcher analyzes the data and will publish the findings next month.

Correct: The researcher analyzed the data and will publish the findings next month.

Incorrect: I went to the store I bought milk and eggs.

Correct: I went to the store and bought milk and eggs.

Incorrect: This essay will discuss strategies for effective proofreading.

Correct: Developing effective proofreading strategies is crucial for college students to produce polished, error-free writing.

Incorrect: The essay started by discussing the importance of proofreading, but then went on to talk about time management and study habits.

Correct: The essay maintained a clear focus on exploring different proofreading techniques throughout.

Incorrect: According to the article, good proofreading habits are essential for writers.

Correct: According to a study published in the Journal of College Writing, good proofreading habits are essential for writers (Smith, 2020).

What Role Does Proofreading Play in Avoiding Mistakes?

Proofreading is crucial for avoiding mistakes because it allows writers to carefully review their work and catch any errors or inconsistencies before submitting the final essay. Proofreading helps writers ensure that their grammar, punctuation, spelling, and overall structure are correct and polished.

One of the primary benefits of proofreading is that it helps writers identify and correct grammatical errors. By carefully reading through the essay, writers can spot issues such as subject-verb agreement problems, incorrect use of homophones, and pronoun errors. Proofreading also allows writers to ensure that their sentences are properly structured, with no run-on sentences or fragments.

In addition to catching grammatical mistakes, proofreading enables writers to strengthen their thesis statements and maintain a clear, consistent focus throughout the essay. By reviewing the essay, writers can ensure that each paragraph supports the main argument and that the essay flows from the introduction to the conclusion in a logical manner.

Proofreading is also important for ensuring proper citation of sources. Writers can double-check that they have correctly formatted in-text citations and the reference list, which is crucial for avoiding plagiarism and demonstrating their research skills.

Strategies for Effective Proofreading

Proofreading should never be overlooked. All writers, no matter their skill level, are prone to making mistakes in their work – whether they are errors in grammar, punctuation, spelling, or even larger structural issues. For college students in particular, developing effective proofreading strategies is crucial, as poor proofreading can lead to low grades and a diminished academic reputation. 

By learning techniques to carefully review their writing, students can ensure their essays are polished, professional, and free of careless errors. Mastering proofreading is not only important for academic success, but it is also a valuable skill that will benefit students throughout their careers. 

Reading the essay aloud can help writers catch mistakes that may have been overlooked when reading silently. The human ear is often better equipped to identify grammatical errors, run-on sentences, and other issues that may be more difficult to spot on the page.

Focus on One Type of Error at a Time

Instead of trying to catch every possible mistake in a single pass, writers can improve their proofreading efficiency by focusing on one type of error at a time. For example, they could first check for subject-verb agreement, then move on to pronoun usage, and so on.

Use Technology Tools 

There are a variety of technology tools, such as spelling and grammar checkers, that can assist writers in identifying potential errors. While these tools should not be solely relied upon, they can be a helpful complement to the proofreading process.

Ask for Feedback

Asking a peer, tutor, or professor to review the essay can provide valuable feedback and help writers catch mistakes they may have overlooked. Fresh eyes can often identify issues that the writers themselves have become desensitized to. Hire a professional essay writer to provide an objective, experienced perspective that can identify lingering grammar issues, clarify the thesis statement, and ensure the essay maintains a cohesive focus.

Take Breaks 

Proofreading can be mentally taxing, so it’s important for writers to take breaks and come back to the essay with fresh eyes. This can help them better identify errors and inconsistencies that may have been missed during the initial proofreading sessions.

Develop a Proofreading Checklist 

Creating a personalized proofreading checklist can help writers ensure that they consistently check for the most common mistakes in their writing. This can be especially helpful for writers who tend to struggle with particular grammar or structural issues.

Proofreading errors can be a significant obstacle for college students when writing essays, but by being aware of the most common mistakes and the importance of proofreading, writers can improve the quality of their work. From grammar and punctuation issues to structural problems and citation errors, a thorough proofreading process can help writers identify and correct a wide range of mistakes. By developing strong proofreading skills, college students can increase their chances of producing high-quality essays that showcase their knowledge, critical thinking, and writing abilities.

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Bad College Essay Examples: 5 Essay Mistakes To Avoid

Grades, GPA, and transcripts are important components when applying to college. But numbers only tell part of the story. The  college admissions essay  plays a much more powerful role in telling your personal story to college admissions officers. So while university admissions departments may set initial cut-offs based on numbers, they make their final decision based on your college personal statement essay.

At Wordvice, we know college admissions essays. Every year, we receive tens of millions of words to edit from students applying to college. Therefore, we know what good college essays, bad college essays, and great college essays look like–and what students should do in their essays to get the attention of admissions officers.

Here we will cover  how to write a good college personal statement  by looking at some  common college admission essay mistakes to avoid  and discuss ways to improve your college application essays.

What does a good college application essay look like?

Before looking at some essay mistakes to avoid (or “bad college essays” to be a bit more blunt), let’s discuss what a good admissions essay does. Effective college personal statements give broad, comprehensive insights into your personal and academic background, provide college admissions counselors with an overview of your goals, and answer the college prompt directly and clearly. 

One of the best ways to learn how to write a good college application essay is to look at what successful students wrote.  

Check out a few powerful  examples of successful personal statements  so you can recognize what a great college application essay looks like. Reading examples of college essays can help you to understand exactly what college admissions officers are looking for.

Useful Tips on How to Write a College Admissions Essay

Once you take a look at what some successful college essay examples look like, the second step should be looking at some useful tips and checklists. This will help organize your college essay writing process, so look at these tips  before  you start writing and check them off as you go. 

• Quick Tips to Conquer the College Application Essay
• Six Tips for Proofreading your College Admissions Essay

Why it’s Important to Avoid Mistakes in Your College Essay

Even if you include all of the above positive tips in your college application essay, you still need to be aware of and avoid common college application essay mistakes. The importance of this cannot be understated. 

Negativity bias  is the concept in psychology that people will remember, dwell on, and act upon unpleasant thoughts and emotions as compared to positive or correct ones. Therefore, applicants should focus on the positive and productive elements of their personal narrative in the essay, even if this story includes some negative events or circumstances.

What does this mean for your college application essay?

Your personal statement is not only scanned by AI-powered grammar and spell checker apps to weed out simple mistakes outright, they are also read, interpreted, and graded by real human college admissions officers. These are seasoned professionals who will reject your college essay for any reason they deem fit. 

Randi Heathman, an independent education consultant, gives a clear summary of  why application essays are rejected :

Weak essays get skimmed. If a student’s essay isn’t great OR good, the admission officer will probably just skim past the essay and move right on to your transcript and your test scores to evaluate your candidacy for admission. Bad essays don’t get read. Period. A bad essay will prompt an admission officer to assume one of two things: 1) either you don’t care enough about your future at their school to take the time to write a good essay or 2) you aren’t academically up to attending their college or university. Neither of those assumptions will help you get admitted.

Do you see a theme here? Your college admissions essay needs to not only engage in and answer the prompt but also not give admissions officers any reasons to discard it. 

For this reason, students must actively  avoid the following college admissions essay mistakes.

Common College Essay Mistakes To Avoid

Below is a list and analysis of the types of mistakes to avoid on your college personal statement and avoid writing a bad college essay that will likely NOT get you into your program of choice.

Your Application Essay Repeats the Essay Prompt

Many universities have strict word counts that are designed to make the admissions process more efficient but also force you to write concisely. 

For example,  Villanova University has two application essays . The free choice essay is limited to 250 words while its “Why Nova?” essay is limited to just 100 words! 

So if you really want to ruin your chances of admission, repeat the essay prompt. Veteran college admissions officers will instantly trash your essay. It shows laziness and is interpreted as you not respecting their time. You need every opportunity to show who you are, your goals, and how you align with your target university. The best students have plenty to write about, and so should you.

Your Application Essay Uses Cliches

One of the biggest mistakes to avoid in your college admissions essay would be including tired clichés that don’t add interesting points or content. Don’t try to sound profound, exclusive, or postmodern in your writing. This will be obvious to the reader, and you probably will also not be the best writer or candidate on paper they have seen. What’s actually important is to demonstrate your self-awareness, your self-confidence, and your priorities and goals. 

Trying desperately to sound special will make you end up sounding like every other applicant, and admissions officers are experts at spotting fakes. You have plenty of resources to work with. Make sure your ideas are your own.

Example of clichés in an essay

When explaining a personal setback or a difficult decision, instead of writing, “This event was a disparate result antithetical to my character,” show some personal ownership and be straightforward. Here is a better way to phrase this sentiment:  “This is a decision I am not proud of, but it helped me learn a valuable lesson and put me in a better place today. Without this formative experience, I wouldn’t be the kind of person who applies myself in every challenging circumstance.”  

Need extra help improving your essay writing? Check out these  14 tricks to make your writing clearer and more engaging :

Your Admissions Essay Shares Too Much Personal Information

You have probably read everywhere that your personal statement should be, well, personal. Colleges want to get to know not just your academic background but also your personal worldview and interactions with successful people. 

This doesn’t mean you should discuss deeply personal issues at length or in too great of detail. Even controversial topics such as religion and politics are often welcomed if your perspective is well reasoned and fair. However, you must be able to demonstrate you can respect, recognize, and maintain personal boundaries. That is a key life skill that college admissions committees are looking for. 

Examples of sharing too much personal information

• Don’t discuss your sexual experiences.  Your sexual orientation may be a key part of your overall identity. However, limit this by keeping out details of personal activities. Use common sense and understand that most admissions officers are members of the general public who might not respond favorably to explicit details of your personal life. 
• Don’t confess to strange, illegal, or immoral behaviors or beliefs.  If you have a strange obsession, keep it to yourself. Only include unique aspects about your character or preferences if are key parts of how you view the world or your success as a student.
• Don’t insult subgroups of people . You never know who your college admissions officer will be. You want to show you know how to interface with the world, and your college application is a big first step to showing your maturity and inclusive views.

Your Admissions Essay is a Sympathy Essay

This essay mistake is very similar to oversharing personal information. These types of essays are usually a long list of all the terrible things that have happened to you with the hope that the admissions committee will take pity because they feel bad for you. 

Newsflash: the “sympathy approach” likely is not going to work. A lot of prospective students have gone through the divorce of their parents, the death of a friend or family member, medical issues, disabilities, mental health issues, accidents, etc. 

If you do want to include these life-changing or identity-forming events, they must be used to explain how they shaped you as a person, what you learned, and how you handled adversity. Show how you grew as a person or how your worldview and character were altered to make you into the excellent college candidate you are today.

Examples of “sympathy essays”

• “Everyone around me kept me from succeeding.”  Like the lyrics of an early-2000’s rock song, some application essays foreground their experiences on a canvas of pain and oppression by all the people around them. This is just self-defeating. Even if something happened that changed your plans, upset you, or harmed you in some way, reframe your story to show how you were able to shift your priorities and succeed after you learned what you were unable to do.
• “Becoming injured my senior year ruined my plans.”  If you are an athlete and suffered a career or scholarship-ending injury, that is a big deal. But your potential doesn’t just disappear because of a setback. Whatever events and influences made you who you were before are still more important than a single unfortunate occurrence in your past. 

Your Application Essay Gives You All the Credit

While you may have top SAT scores, a high GPA, and lots of awards, don’t forget this one simple truth: there are always bigger fish in the sea. No matter how good of an applicant you are, there will be someone better based on whatever metric you are proud of. 

So what should you write about in your college application essay to stand out from the many overachievers?

Try humility and perspective. Don’t forget to give credit where credit is due. No person is an island, so in your essay you can give recognition to those who helped you along the way. Try not to belittle or minimize the contribution of your high school teachers or mentors. Admissions counselors, as educational professionals, will be looking to see if you are ready to interact with the next level of academic educators. So including friends, family members, and mentors who helped you grow and develop could be a good topic for your college personal statement.

Examples of “giving yourself all the credit” in an essay

• “I was valedictorian and did it all by myself.”  You should be proud of your academic achievements, as they are important for your college application among other goals. However, give credit to someone who helped you learn. You didn’t teach yourself!
• “In the end, I found the only person I could rely on was myself.”  Some students come from very tough backgrounds, and so it can be tempting for these students to stress this in their essay. But remember that college admissions offices want you to add value to the university community as a college student at their school. Even the smartest students cannot do this if they fail to acknowledge the contributions of others. 

Your Personal Statement Has Not Received Proofreading or Editing

A sure way to get your college essay thrown aside is to have it full of grammar and spelling mistakes. The college admissions process is very competitive, and you need every edge you can get. You should spend a substantial portion of your essay preparation editing and proofreading after writing your personal statement.

Start by reviewing and revising the essay yourself. Read it aloud. Run it through a couple of online spelling and grammar checkers. And start early on each college application–at least two weeks before the application deadline. You should also consider giving your admissions essay to a friend, parent, or teacher to review. This can help you improve your essay in many ways because other people can give quite different perspectives. 

Check out the  Benefits of Peer Review vs Self-Editing .

Finally, you should look into using an application essay proofreading and editing service to revise and improve your application essay. Just as peer review is superior to self-editing alone, professional proofreading services and application essay editing services are superior to peer review. The hard truth is that too many other students (your competition) are going above and beyond in preparing these important essays. Being short on time and expertise makes using an editing and proofreading service a good solution.

How Does Wordvice Improve Your College Application Essay?

Wordvice editors  are required to have graduate or postgraduate degrees. This means you are getting guaranteed expertise compared to other services, which typically only require editors to hold a bachelor’s degree. Wordvice is also among the top-rated  essay editing services  and personal statement editing services by Wired.com. We achieved this recognition by following the  Wordvice Customer Promise . That means providing value to every student and every personal statement we edit. 

Additional Admissions Essay Steps to Take

We hope you learned a lot from these examples of successful college personal statements. So what’s next?

I want to learn more about the college admissions process

Interested in learning more tips from experts about the college admissions process, personal statements, or letters of recommendation? Check out the  Wordvice Admissions Resource blog .

I am interested in professional editing for my personal statement

We also got you covered! Check out our  English editing services to get started on improving your college essays. Or jump straight in and use our  editing price calculator to get an editing price quote and start the ordering process.

9 College Essay Mistakes & How to Avoid Them

College essays are hard to write. We hear you! Collegebasics offers several articles to help you get off to a good start—at least a start–, but, here are some things you need to do to avoid common college essay mistakes.

Read the whole application.

You may ask why. The answer is some colleges require you to write multiple essays, beyond the Common Application’s personal essay, and if you miss that, your application will be incomplete. It’s good to know how many you should plan to write and what you are expected to write about. You will want to think about areas you want to write about and spread them over the essays rather than repeat yourself.

Read the essay prompts carefully.

Look at what the prompt(s) is asking you. Especially note the two-part prompt. Some ask you to relate an important experience or talk about your past, but often they also ask you what you learned or how something impacted you. The second part may be the most important part.

Look at word limits.

Be careful to write only as much as they ask for. Be concise. Write enough but not too much.

Research the college.

Most college websites indicate a slogan or a mission that helps define the college. Know what that is and include it in your essay where you might. For example, leaders of education  Cognita  have the slogan “achieve more than you believe possible”. You can implement this slogan into your essay as an indicator that you have done your research and  agree with their values .

Consider your essay’s tone.

Check your ego; humility over brag wins. Be positive. Yes, you may have weaknesses, but it’s best to indicate how you’ve overcome them or learned from them. Humor is fine (if you’re humorous), but comedy is out. Don’t be materialistic. Think how you might contribute to the college, not about what the college can do for you.

Think about the content of your essay.

The essay should not rehash your resume. That information is already in your application; the essay should go beyond. Avoid writing about your volunteer trip; it’s old! Don’t be general. Be specific and give personal details. The everyday often tells more about you than the unusual. Think about your daily routine or the things you watch on TV or what makes you laugh. These things show the real you.

Consider the structure of your essay.

This essay does not have to have a thesis statement, paragraphs of support, and a conclusion; but each paragraph should follow logically from the other. Also you need a very strong, even unusual, start to your essay to catch the reader’s attention. Don’t use academic words. This is a personal essay.

And, proofread.

‘nough said.

Start early.

Essays are hard, and you may have to write several. They take thought and pre-planning. You also want enough time left for input and reviews.

College essays are a challenge, but a challenge you must meet for college admission. Take your time and consider the above carefully.

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Common App Essays | 7 Strong Examples with Commentary

Published on November 19, 2021 by Kirsten Courault . Revised on May 31, 2023.

If you’re applying for college via the Common App , you’ll have to write an essay in response to one of seven prompts.

Table of contents

What is the common application essay, prompt 1: background, identity, interest, or talent, prompt 2: overcoming challenges, prompt 3: questioning a belief or idea, prompt 4: appreciating an influential person, prompt 5: transformative event, prompt 6: interest or hobby that inspires learning, prompt 7: free topic, other interesting articles, frequently asked questions about college application essays.

The Common Application, or Common App , is a college application portal that is accepted by more than 900 schools.

Within the Common App is your main essay, a primary writing sample that all your prospective schools will read to evaluate your critical thinking skills and value as a student. Since this essay is read by many colleges, avoid mentioning any college names or programs. Instead, save tailored answers for the supplementary school-specific essays within the Common App.

Regardless of your prompt choice, admissions officers will look for an ability to clearly and creatively communicate your ideas based on the selected prompt.

We’ve provided seven essay examples, one for each of the Common App prompts. After each essay, we’ve provided a table with commentary on the essay’s narrative, writing style and tone, demonstrated traits, and self-reflection.

Prevent plagiarism. Run a free check.

This essay explores the student’s emotional journey toward overcoming her father’s neglect through gymnastics discipline.

Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

When “The Devil Went Down to Georgia” began to play, it was my signal to lay out a winning floor routine. Round off. Back handspring. Double back layout. Stick!

Instead, I jolted off the floor, landing out of bounds. Over the past week, I hadn’t landed that pass once, and regionals were only seven days away. I heaved a heavy sigh and stomped over to the bench.

Coach Farkas saw my consternation. “Mona, get out of your head. You’re way too preoccupied with your tumbling passes. You could do them in your sleep!”

That was the problem. I was dreaming of tumbling and missing my landings, waking up in a cold sweat. The stress felt overwhelming.

“Stretch out. You’re done for tonight.”

I walked home from the gym that had been my second home since fourth grade. Yet my anxiety was increasing every time I practiced.

I startled my mom. “You’re home early! Wait! You walked? Mona, what’s going on?!”

I slumped down at the kitchen table. “Don’t know.”

She sat down across from me. “Does it have anything to do with your father texting you a couple of weeks ago about coming to see you at regionals?”

“So what?! Why does it matter anymore?” He walked out when I was 10 and never looked back. Still, dear ol’ Dad always had a way of resurfacing when I least expected him.

“It still matters because when you hear from him, you tend to crumble. Or have you not noticed?” She offered a knowing wink and a compassionate smile.

I started gymnastics right after Dad left. The coaches said I was a natural: short, muscular, and flexible. All I knew was that the more I improved, the more confident I felt. Gymnastics made me feel powerful, so I gave it my full energy and dedication.

The floor routine became my specialty, and my performances were soon elevating our team score. The mat, solid and stable, became a place to explore and express my internal struggles. Over the years, no matter how angry I felt, the floor mat was there to absorb my frustration.

The bars, beam, and vault were less forgiving because I knew I could fall. My performances in those events were respectable. But, the floor? Sometimes, I had wildly creative and beautiful routines, while other times were disastrous. Sadly, my floor routine had never been consistent.

That Saturday afternoon, I slipped into the empty gym and walked over to the mat. I sat down and touched its carpeted surface. After a few minutes, my cheeks were wet with the bitter disappointment of a dad who only showed up when it was convenient for him. I ruminated on the years of practices and meets where I had channeled my resentment into acrobatics and dance moves, resolved to rise higher than his indifference.

I saw then that my deepest wounds were inextricably entangled with my greatest passion. They needed to be permanently separated. While my anger had first served to launch me into gymnastics, before long, I had started serving my anger.

Anger is a cruel master. It corrupts everything it touches, even something as beautiful as a well-choreographed floor routine.

I changed my music days before regionals. “The Devil” no longer had a place in my routine. Instead, I chose an energetic cyberpunk soundtrack that inspired me to perform with passion and laser focus. Dad made an obligatory appearance at regionals, but he left before I could talk to him.

It didn’t matter this time. I stuck every landing in my routine. Anger no longer controlled me. I was finally free.

Word count: 601

This essay shows how the challenges the student faced in caring for her sister with autism resulted in an unexpected path forward in her education.

The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?

I never had a choice.

My baby sister was born severely autistic, which meant that every detail of our home life was repeatedly adjusted to manage her condition. I couldn’t go to bed without fearing that Mindy would wake up screaming with that hoarse little voice of hers. I couldn’t have friends over on weekends because we never knew if our entire family would need to shift into crisis mode to help Mindy regain control.

We couldn’t take a family vacation because Mindy would start hitting us during a long car ride when she didn’t want to sit there anymore. We couldn’t even celebrate Christmas like a normal family because Mindy would shriek and run away when we tried to give her presents.

I was five years old when Mindy was born. For the first ten years, I did everything I could to help my mom with Mindy. But Mom was depressed and would often stare out the window, as if transfixed by the view. Dad was no help either. He used his job as an excuse to be away from home. So, I tried to make up for both of them and rescue Mindy however I could whenever she needed it.

However, one day, when I was slowly driving Mindy around with the windows down, trying to lull her into a calmer state, we passed two of my former classmates from middle school. They heard Mindy growling her disapproval as the ride was getting long for her. One of them turned to the other and announced, “Oh my God! Marabeth brought her pet monster out for a drive!” They laughed hysterically and ran down the street.

After that day, I defied my parents at every turn. I also ignored Mindy. I even stopped doing homework. I purposely “got in with the wrong crowd” and did whatever they did.

My high school counselor Ms. Martinez saw through it all. She knew my family’s situation well. It didn’t take her long to guess what had probably happened.

“Marabeth, I get it. My brother has Down syndrome. It was really hard growing up with him as a brother. The other kids were pretty mean about it, especially in high school.”

I doubted she understood. “Yeah. So?”

“I’m guessing something happened that hurt or embarrassed you.”

“I’m so sorry. I can only imagine how you must have felt.”

It must have been the way she said it because I suddenly found myself sobbing into my trembling, cupped hands.

Ms. Martinez and I met every Friday after that for the rest of the year. Her stories of how she struggled to embrace living with and loving her brother created a bridge to my pain and then my healing. She explained that her challenges led her to pursue a degree in counseling so that she could offer other people what no one had given her.

I thought that Mindy was the end of my life, but, because of Ms. Martinez’s example and kindness, I can now see that Mindy is a gift, pointing me toward my future.

Now, I’m applying to study psychology so that I can go on to earn my master’s degree in counseling. I’m learning to forgive my parents for their mistakes, and I’m back in Mindy’s life again, but this time as a sister, not a savior. My choice.

Word Count: 553

This essay illustrates a student’s courage in challenging his culture’s constructs of manhood and changing his course while positively affecting his father in the process.

Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome?

“No son of mine is gonna march around a football field wearing tail feathers while all the real men are playing football!”

I took a step backward and tried not to appear as off-balance as I felt. In my excitement, I had blurted out more information than my father could handle:

“Dad! I made the marching band as a freshman! Nobody does that—I mean nobody!”

As soon as I had said it, I wished I could recall those words. How could I forget that 26 years earlier, he had been the starting wide receiver for the state-champion Tigers on the same field?!

Still, when I opened the email on that scorching hot August afternoon, I was thrilled that five months of practicing every possible major and harmonic minor scale—two octaves up and two octaves down—had made the difference. I had busted reed after reed, trying not to puff my cheeks while moving my fingers in a precise cadence.

I knew he had heard me continually practicing in my room, yet he seemed to ignore all the parts of me that were incongruous with his vision of manhood:

Ford F-150 4x4s. Pheasant hunting. The Nebraska Cornhuskers.

I never had to wonder what he valued. For years, I genuinely shared his interests. But, in the fall of eighth grade, I heard Kyle Wheeling play a saxophone solo during the homecoming marching band halftime show. My dad took me to every football game to teach me the plays, but that night, all I could think about was Kyle’s bluesy improv at halftime.

During Thanksgiving break, I got my mom to drive me into Omaha to rent my instrument at Dietze Music, and, soon after, I started private lessons with Mr. Ken. Before long, I was spending hours in my room, exploring each nuance of my shiny Yamaha alto sax, anticipating my audition for the Marching Tigers at the end of the spring semester.

During those months of practice, I realized that I couldn’t hide my newfound interest forever, especially not from the football players who were going to endlessly taunt me. But not all the guys played football. Some were in choir and theater. Quite a few guys were in the marching band. In fact, the Marching Tigers had won the grand prize in their division at last year’s state showdown in Lincoln.

I was excited! They were the champions, and I was about to become a part of their legacy.

Yet, that afternoon, a sense of anxiety brewed in my belly. I knew I had to talk to him.

He was sweeping the grass clippings off of the sidewalk. He nodded.

“I need to tell you something.”

He looked up.

“I know that you know about my sax because you hear me practicing. I like it a lot, and I’m becoming pretty good at it. I still care about what you like, but I’m starting to like some other things more. I hope you’ll be proud of me whatever I choose.”

He studied the cracks in the driveway. “I am proud of you. I just figured you’d play football.”

We never talked about it again, but that fall, he was in the stands when our marching band won the state championship in Lincoln for the second time. In fact, for the next four years, he never left the stands during halftime until the marching band had performed. He was even in the audience for every performance of “Our Town” at the end of my junior year. I played the Stage Manager who reveals the show’s theme: everything changes gradually.

I know it’s true. Things do change over time, even out here in central Nebraska. I know because I’ve changed, and my dad has changed, too. I just needed the courage to go first.

Word count: 626

The student demonstrates how his teacher giving him an unexpected bad grade was the catalyst for his becoming a better writer.

Reflect on something that someone has done for you that has made you happy or thankful in a surprising way. How has this gratitude affected or motivated you?

I stared in disbelief at the big red letter at the top of my paper: D. 

Never in my entire high school career had I seen that letter at the top of any paper, unless it was at the beginning of my first name. 

I had a 4.796 GPA. I had taken every pre-AP and AP course offered. My teachers had praised my writing skills! However, Mr. Trimble didn’t think so, and he let me know it:

“Darwin, in the future, I believe you can do better if you fully apply yourself.” 

I furiously scanned the paper for corrections. Not even one! Grammar and syntax? Perfect. Spelling? Impeccable. Sentence and paragraph structure? Precise and indisputable, as always. 

Was he trying to ruin my GPA? Cooper was clearly his favorite, and we were neck and neck for valedictorian, which was only one year away. Maybe they were conspiring to take me down. 

Thankfully, AP Composition was my last class. I fled the room and ran to my car. Defiant tears stained my cheeks as I screeched my tires and roared out of the parking lot. When I got home, I shoved in my AirPods, flopped on my bed, and buried my head under the pillow. 

I awoke to my sister, Daria, gently shaking my arm. “I know what happened, D. Trimble stopped me in the hall after school.”

“I’m sure he did. He’s trying to ruin my life.”

“That’s not what he told me. You should talk to him, D.”

The next day, although I tried to avoid Mr. Trimble at all costs, I almost tripped over him as I was coming out of the bathroom.

“Darwin, can we talk?” 

He walked me down the hall to his room. “Do you know that you’re one of the best writers I’ve ever had in AP Comp?” 

“Then why’d you do it?” 

“Because you’re better than you know, Darwin. You impress with your perfect presentations, and your teachers reward you with A’s and praise. I do frequent the teacher’s lounge, you know.” 

“So I know you’re not trying.”

I locked eyes with him and glared. 

“You’ve never had to try because you have a gift. And, in the midst of the acclaim, you’ve never pushed yourself to discover your true capabilities.”

“So you give me a D?!”

“It got your attention.”

“You’re not going to leave it, are you?”

“Oh, the D stands. You didn’t apply yourself. You’ll have to earn your way out with your other papers.” 

I gained a new understanding of the meaning of ambivalence. Part of me was furious at the injustice of the situation, but I also felt strangely challenged and intrigued. I joined a local writer’s co-op and studied K. M. Weiland’s artistic writing techniques. 

Multiple drafts, track changes, and constructive criticism became my new world. I stopped taking Mr. Trimble’s criticism personally and began to see it as a precious tool to bolster me, not break me down. 

Last week, the New York Public Library notified me that I was named one of five finalists for the Young Lions Fiction Award. They described my collection of short stories as “fresh, imaginative, and captivating.” 

I never thought I could be grateful for a D, but Mr. Trimble’s insightful courage was the catalyst that transformed my writing and my character. Just because other people applaud you for being the best doesn’t mean you’re doing your best . 

AP Composition is now recorded as an A on my high school transcript, and Cooper and I are still locked in a tight race for the finish line. But, thanks to Mr. Trimble, I have developed a different paradigm for evaluation: my best. And the more I apply myself, the better my best becomes. 

Word Count: 627

This student narrates how she initially went to church for a boy but instead ended up confronting her selfishness by helping others.

Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.

Originally, I went to church not because I was searching for Jesus but because I liked a boy.

Isaac Ono wasn’t the most athletic boy in our class, nor was he the cutest. But I was amazed by his unusual kindness toward everyone. If someone was alone or left out, he’d walk up to them and say hello or invite them to hang out with him and his friends.

I started waking up at 7:30 a.m. every Sunday morning to attend Grace Hills Presbyterian, where Isaac’s father was the pastor. I would strategically sit in a pew not too close but close enough to Isaac that when the entire congregation was instructed to say “Peace be with you,” I could “happen” to shake Isaac’s hand and make small talk.

One service, as I was staring at the back of Isaac’s head, pondering what to say to him, my hearing suddenly tuned in to his father’s sermon.

“There’s no such thing as a good or bad person.”

My eyes snapped onto Pastor Marcus.

“I used to think I was a good person who came from a respectable family and did nice things. But people aren’t inherently good or bad. They just make good or bad choices.”

My mind raced through a mental checklist of whether my past actions fell mostly into the former or latter category.

“As it says in Deuteronomy 30:15, ‘I have set before you today life and good, death and evil.’ Follow in the footsteps of Jesus and do good.”

I glanced to my left and saw Margaret, underlining passages in her study Bible and taking copious notes.

Months earlier, I had befriended Margaret. We had fourth-period Spanish together but hadn’t interacted much. She was friends with Isaac, so I started hanging out with her to get closer to him. But eventually, the two of us were spending hours in the Starbucks parking lot having intense discussions about religion, boys, and our futures until we had to return home before curfew.

After hearing the pastor’s sermon, I realized that what I had admired about Isaac was also present in Margaret and other people at church: a welcoming spirit. I’m pretty sure Margaret knew of my ulterior motives for befriending her, but she never called me out on it.

After that day, I started paying more attention to Pastor Marcus’s sermons and less attention to Isaac. One year, our youth group served Christmas Eve dinner to the homeless and ate with them. I sat across from a woman named Lila who told me how child services had taken away her four-year-old daughter because of her financial and living situation.

A few days later, as I sat curled up reading the book of James, my heart suddenly felt heavy.

“If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, ‘Go in peace, be warmed and filled,’ without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that?”

I thought back to Pastor Marcus’s sermon on good and bad actions, Lila and her daughter, and the times I had passed people in need without even saying hello.

I decided to put my faith into action. The next week, I started volunteering at the front desk of a women’s shelter, helping women fill out forms or watching their kids while they talked with social workers.

From working for the past year at the women’s shelter, I now know I want to major in social work, caring for others instead of focusing on myself. I may not be a good person (or a bad one), but I can make good choices, helping others with every opportunity God gives me.

Word count: 622

This essay shows how a student’s natural affinity for solving a Rubik’s cube developed her self-understanding, academic achievement, and inspiration for her future career.

Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?

The worst part about writing is putting down my Rubik’s cube so that I can use my hands to type. That’s usually the worst part of tackling my to-do list: setting aside my Rubik’s cube. My parents call it an obsession. But, for me, solving a Rubik’s cube challenges my brain as nothing else can.

It started on my ninth birthday. I invited three friends for a sleepover party, and I waited to open my presents right before bed. Wrapping paper, ribbons, and bows flew through the air as I oohed and aahed over each delightful gift! However, it was the last gift—a 3 x 3 x 3 cube of little squares covered in red, green, blue, yellow, white, and orange—that intrigued me.

I was horrified when Bekka ripped it out of my hands and messed it all up! I had no idea how to make all the sides match again. I waited until my friends were fast asleep. Then, I grabbed that cube and studied it under my blanket with a flashlight, determined to figure out how to restore it to its former pristine state.

Within a few weeks, I had discovered the secret. To practice, I’d take my cube with me to recess and let the other kids time me while I solved it in front of them. The better I became, the more they gathered around. But I soon realized that their attention didn’t matter all that much. I loved solving cubes for hours wherever I was: at lunch, riding in the car, or alone in my room.

Cross. White corners. Middle-layer edges. Yellow cross. Sune and anitsune. 

The sequential algorithms became second nature, and with the assistance of a little black digital timer, I strove to solve the cube faster , each time attempting to beat my previous record. I watched speed solvers on YouTube, like Australia’s Feliks Zemdegs and Max Park from Massachusetts, but I wasn’t motivated to compete as they did. I watched their videos to learn how to improve my time. I liked finding new, more efficient ways of mastering the essential 78 separate cube-solving algorithms.

Now, I understand why my passion for my Rubik’s cube has never waned. Learning and applying the various algorithms soothes my brain and centers my emotions, especially when I feel overwhelmed from being around other people. Don’t get me wrong: I like other people—just in doses.

While some people get recharged by spending time with others, I can finally breathe when I’m alone with my cube. Our psychology teacher says the difference between an extrovert and an introvert is the situations that trigger their brains to produce dopamine. For me, it’s time away, alone, flipping through cube patterns to set a new personal best.

Sometimes, the world doesn’t cooperate with introverts, requiring them to interact with many people throughout the day. That’s why you’ll often find me in the stairwell or a library corner attempting to master another one of the 42 quintillion ways to solve a cube. My parents tease me that when I’ve “had enough” of anything, my fingers get a Rubik’s itch, and I suddenly disappear. I’m usually occupied for a while, but when I finally emerge, I feel centered, prepared to tackle my next task.

Secretly, I credit my cube with helping me earn top marks in AP Calculus, Chemistry, and Physics. It’s also responsible for my interest in computer engineering. It seems I just can’t get enough of those algorithms, which is why I want to study the design and implementation of cybersecurity software—all thanks to my Rubik’s cube.

Just don’t tell my parents! It would ruin all the fun!

Word count: 607

In this free topic essay, the student uses a montage structure inspired by the TV show Iron Chef America to demonstrate his best leadership moments.

Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you’ve already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.

Iron Chef America: College Essay Edition

The time has come to answer college’s most difficult question: Whose story shows glory?

This is … Iron Chef America: College Essay Edition!

Welcome to Kitchen Stadium! Today we have Chef Brett Lowell. Chef Brett will be put to the test to prove he has what it takes to attend university next fall.

And the secret ingredient is … leadership! He must include leadership in each of his dishes, which will later be evaluated by a panel of admissions judges.

So now, America, with a creative mind and empty paper, I say unto you in the words of my teacher: “Let’s write!”

Appetizer: My first leadership experience

A mountain of mismatched socks, wrinkled jeans, and my dad’s unironed dress shirts sat in front of me. Laundry was just one of many chores that welcomed me home once I returned from my after-school job at Baskin Robbins, a gig I had taken last year to help Dad pay the rent. A few years earlier, I wasn’t prepared to cook dinners, pay utility bills, or pick up and drop off my brothers. I thought those jobs were reserved for parents. However, when my father was working double shifts at the power plant and my mom was living in Tucson with her new husband, Bill, I stepped up and took care of the house and my two younger brothers.

Main course: My best leadership experience

Between waiting for the pasta water to boil and for the next laundry cycle to be finished, I squeezed in solving a few practice precalculus problems to prepare for the following week’s mathletics competition. I liked how the equations always had clear, clean answers, which calmed me among the mounting responsibilities of home life. After leading my team to the Minnesota State Finals for two years in a row, I was voted team captain. Although my home responsibilities often competed with my mathlete duties, I tried to be as productive as possible in my free time. On the bus ride home, I would often tackle 10 to 20 functions or budget the following week’s meals and corresponding grocery list. My junior year was rough, but both my home and my mathlete team needed me.

Dessert: My future leadership hopes 

The first thing I ever baked was a chocolate cake in middle school. This was around the time that Mom had just moved out and I was struggling with algebra. Troubles aside, one day my younger brother Simon needed a contribution for his school’s annual bake sale, and the PTA moms wouldn’t accept anything store-bought. So I carefully measured out the teaspoons and cups of various flours, powders, and oils, which resulted in a drooping, too-salty disaster.

Four years later, after a bakery’s worth of confections and many hours of study, I’ve perfected my German chocolate cake and am on my way to mastering Calculus AB. I’ve also thrown out the bitter-tasting parts of my past such as my resentment and anger toward my mom. I still miss having her at home, but whenever I have a baking question or want to update her on my mathlete team’s success, I call her or chat with her over text.

Whether in school or life, I see problems as opportunities, not obstacles, to find a better way to solve them more efficiently. I hope to continue improving my problem-solving skills next fall by majoring in mathematics and statistics.

Time’s up! 

We hope you’ve enjoyed this tasting of Chef Lowell’s leadership experiences. Next fall, tune in to see him craft new leadership adventures in college. He’s open to refining his technique and discovering new recipes.

Word count: 612

If you want to know more about academic writing , effective communication , or parts of speech , make sure to check out some of our other articles with explanations and examples.

Academic writing

• Writing process
• Transition words
• Passive voice
• Paraphrasing

 Communication

• How to end an email
• Ms, mrs, miss
• How to start an email
• I hope this email finds you well
• Hope you are doing well

 Parts of speech

• Personal pronouns
• Conjunctions

The Common App essay is your primary writing sample within the Common Application, a college application portal accepted by more than 900 schools. All your prospective schools that accept the Common App will read this essay to understand your character, background, and value as a potential student.

Since this essay is read by many colleges, avoid mentioning any college names or programs; instead, save tailored answers for the supplementary school-specific essays within the Common App.

When writing your Common App essay , choose a prompt that sparks your interest and that you can connect to a unique personal story.

No matter which prompt you choose, admissions officers are more interested in your ability to demonstrate personal development , insight, or motivation for a certain area of study.

To decide on a good college essay topic , spend time thoughtfully answering brainstorming questions. If you still have trouble identifying topics, try the following two strategies:

• Identify your qualities → Brainstorm stories that demonstrate these qualities
• Identify memorable stories → Connect your qualities to these stories

You can also ask family, friends, or mentors to help you brainstorm topics, give feedback on your potential essay topics, or recall key stories that showcase your qualities.

A standout college essay has several key ingredients:

• A unique, personally meaningful topic
• A memorable introduction with vivid imagery or an intriguing hook
• Specific stories and language that show instead of telling
• Vulnerability that’s authentic but not aimed at soliciting sympathy
• Clear writing in an appropriate style and tone
• A conclusion that offers deep insight or a creative ending

Cite this Scribbr article

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Courault, K. (2023, May 31). Common App Essays | 7 Strong Examples with Commentary. Scribbr. Retrieved September 3, 2024, from https://www.scribbr.com/college-essay/common-app-examples/

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7 College Essay Mistakes & How to Avoid Them

College essays are stressful enough. And that blinking mouse cursor on a blank document screen never makes things easier! 

In fact, this “stuck” feeling might even propel teens full throttle down a highway of mistakes as they push the gas to go somewhere, anywhere, even if in the wrong direction. 

However, as tempting as it might be, saying too much or the wrong thing might sometimes be worse than saying too little and simply sticking to the facts. A great college essay is a valuable component of a well-rounded application, and it’s deserving of careful consideration and planning. 

Not only is the essay a perfect opportunity for teens to showcase their writing skills, the essay also offers a window into a teen's perspectives, personalities, and life experiences. This key part of a college application is high school students’ opportunity to introduce themselves to their dream schools and give the admissions committee an idea of how they’ll contribute to the next freshmen class. 

Sound important? That’s because it is! 

College Essay Mistakes to Avoid

With that in mind, here are seven college essay mistakes and how to avoid them. With this advice, teens can be one step closer to opening that acceptance letter!

Don’t lie. 

This should go without saying, but we wanted to put it number one just as a reminder. Actually, let’s not even phrase it that way. Instead, have your teen start by thinking about their accomplishments, important experiences, interests, and other great authentic subjects for an essay. It's probably all stuff that makes them worthy of applying to the college in question, right? So, what point is there in lying if the truth is powerful enough without extreme embellishment?

Here’s another incentive to be truthful: teens (almost) always have choices in terms of their essay topic. So, encourage them to explore essay prompts and choose carefully from the Common App options.

When they zone in on an intriguing topic, encourage them to keep in mind that their focus should be on an important, real part of their lives and how that subject makes them a great admissions candidate. 

Again, all that to say, there isn’t a need to lie, and your teen more than likely has plenty to offer that stems from the truth. 

In fact, also think about what lying might lead to? They might get into a college or university they’re qualified for because they resort to lying on their college essay: this could backfire big time. Reinforce the value of academic honesty now; otherwise teens might think it’s OK to unethically make their through additional academic problems, etc. It’s a slippery slope!

Don’t focus on grand future plans.

One thing a college essay might do to a student is make them feel like they need to have life figured out at this very second, and thus should pen a grandiose plan to change the world in some fashion. 

Where, in reality, many students at this point probably don’t have that clear of a picture of where they want to go and who they want to be. And that’s OK! In fact, colleges are well aware of this. That’s why an essay focused on what teens have accomplished or experienced is much more powerful than a magnum opus about hypothetical future plans. 

Colleges want to know who’s stepping on campus, not who might be an amazing future alum. Don’t get us wrong: it’s completely fine for teens to mention their dreams, but the main essay focus should be on what they’ve done thus far to make those dreams a possibility. 

Don’t forget who’s reading the essay. 

One other trap students might fall into is looking at the college essay writing process as just another step in a laundry list of steps (especially when they have a number of colleges they're applying to). The misconception here is that as long as they can write something in order to check the box and get it out the door, they are primed for the next step. 

This myth couldn’t be further from the truth!

Take a minute to remind your teen that someone important will be reading their essay, and they’ll be doing so with very specific goals in mind. This person will be reading and analyzing each essay carefully, so now is the time to write with intention. 

Point being, now is not the time to be too casual, vague, overly-detailed, or potentially alienating in subject matter. Teens should write about what’s important to them with their audience in mind. Their audience is one or more people who they both need to impress and  excite so that they genuinely want to know more about who they are as students, athletes, advocates, and individuals! Write accordingly. 

Don’t forget it’s a competition. 

College admissions committees will be reading a lot of essays, probably thousands of them every year. Have your student put themselves in the college’s shoes and think about reading 100 straight stories of cookie cutter “star students” as these essay writers have written themselves to be. No detail, no uniqueness—just 100 students all painting themselves to be amazing, but without highlighting anything particularly personal, insightful, or meaningful. 

That would certainly have most us reaching for the snooze button. 

Have your student aim to stand out, to be the essay that readers stop and absolutely have to read again because they felt something from it. When this happens, students can expect to shine as that one great student who caught attention and has something to say, and not just another great student. This might be the deciding factor to tip the scales in their favor!

Sure, it can be tempting to pick an essay subject that seems “easy." In fact, something might spring to your student’s mind right away and they could be reluctant to try out multiple ideas. Instead, have your teen try out a few different essay focuses and select the one that is most powerful and potentially unique.

Don’t be too heavy and verbose.

A thesaurus is not a teens' ticket to their college of choice. And yes, an experienced admissions counselor can spot superficially fancy language a mile away. 

If your student’s essay is stuffed full of words that no 18-year-old would probably ever actually use in a sentence, the essay probably won’t help their application. The same goes for run-on sentences, long-winded explanations of simple ideas, and other clutter that will have readers lose interest fast. 

So, try to have them keep their writing light and readable and not so stuffy and formal. The goal is to grab and keep attention with ideas that are easy to understand. Students can add the “wow” factor in clearly describing what the subject means to them, not by adding six syllable words every chance they get. 

Don’t leave essays to the last minute. 

Just don’t do it. Procrastination is only going to lead to stress, careless mistakes, and a lackluster final product. Even if your teen is a stellar writer, a first draft is hardly ever a masterpiece. 

So, while the thought of “Meh, I’m only writing about myself, so I’ll have no problem knocking this out in an hour or two” is an easy trap to fall into, encourage your college-bound teen to treat this with care. That means intentional brainstorming, multiple drafts, and careful editing for typos and grammar mistakes. That way, their essay will be a powerful asset, not a detractor from their application as a whole. 

Don’t confuse the essay for the application. 

Once your teen enters the working world, they'll undoubtedly be peppered with guidance like “your cover letter shouldn’t simply be a rehash of your resume,” which is absolutely true. And the same can be said regarding the college essay and application relationship. 

Each application component should be its own part of a complete picture. So rather than repeat information the admissions committee can easily find on their transcripts, the essay should present or expand on something unique. 

Believe it or not, having to complete an application and write essays isn’t just a fssay should showcase an obstacle teens have overcome, a growth example, life lesson, or personal experience that sets them apart in a compelling manner. 

Ready, set, write!

With these words of wisdom, your teen will be set up for success on their college essay! For more expert tips on the wide world of university admissions, check out:

• Should my teen take AP Computer Science?
• The best high school classes for future STEM majors

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All references to "child" or "children" refer to children  under the age of 13.

By accessing or otherwise using any of our iD Sites & Services, you consent to the terms contained in this privacy statement, including the collection, use, and disclosure of data as described below.

California Residents:  iD Tech’s  PRIVACY NOTICE FOR CALIFORNIA RESIDENTS  supplements the information contained in this Privacy Policy and applies solely to visitors, users, and others who reside in the State of California.

I.   Information We May Ask You To Provide

Through our iD Sites & Services, we collect information about you and/or your student when you choose to provide it to us. For example, we collect information from you so you can use iD Sites & Services, purchase products and services, register for and obtain an account, request information, apply for a job, register for one of our programs, or verify your age. In general, we may ask you to provide us with the following types of information about you and/your student:

• Contact information such as name, email address, mailing address, phone numbers (note to parents/guardians of children: if we have actual knowledge that a user is under 13 years old, the child will be asked to have their parent or guardian continue the registration process);
• Month, day, and year of birth;
• Gender preference;
• Course interests;
• Billing information such as credit card number and billing address;
• User names to third-party systems (for example, Facebook);
• Information provided on forums or chat rooms within our iD Sites & Services (note to parents/guardians of children: forums and chat rooms permit a child user to enter comments through which the child could provide personal information that would be visible to other users);
• Information included in résumés and job applications; and
• Health, any participation limitations or needs, immunization and allergy information.

Note to Parents/Guardians : We only collect the information described above, from someone we know to be a child, after the child's parent or guardian provides us with verifiable consent, unless one of the limited exceptions discussed below applies. For more information and/or to review these limited exceptions, please see the " Our Commitment to Children’s Privacy " section below. II.   Information Collected Automatically Cookies and other Tracking Technologies We may use cookies, web beacons, pixel tags, log files, Local Storage Objects, or other technologies to collect certain information about visitors to and users of iD Sites & Services, such as the date and time you visit iD Sites & Services, the areas or pages of iD Sites & Services that you visit, the amount of time you spend viewing or using iD Sites & Services, the number of times you return to iD Sites & Services, other click-stream or usage data, and emails that you open, forward or click through to iD Sites & Services. For example, we may automatically collect certain information, such as the type of web browser and operating system you use, the name of your Internet Service Provider, Internet Protocol (“IP”) address, software version, and the domain name from which you accessed our iD Sites & Services. We use this information to monitor and improve our iD Sites & Services, support the internal operations of our iD Sites & Services, personalize your online experience, verify e-signatures, and for internal analysis.

We may also use cookies, web beacons, and other similar technologies from third party partners such as Google for measurement services, better targeting advertisements and for marketing purposes.  These cookies, web beacons, and other similar technologies allow us to display our promotional material to you on other sites you visit across the internet.  Our third-party advertising partners may also use these technologies to identify your browsing interests over time and across different websites to deliver targeted advertisements. 

iD Sites & Services do not recognize “Do Not Track” headers or similar mechanisms.

iD Tech partners with Rakuten Advertising, who may collect personal information when you interact with our site. The collection and use of this information is subject to Rakuten’s privacy policy located at  https://rakutenadvertising.com/legal-notices/services-privacy-policy/ . Our Sites & Services may also use other third-party plug-ins to provide additional services and benefits. These third parties may collect information about you as well. When we use a third-party plug-in we will attempt to provide you with the identify the plug-in, so you can visit the sites of the third-parties to view the privacy policy under which the information they collect is identified and controlled. 

We may also collect geolocation information from your device so we can customize your experience on our iD Sites & Services. In most cases, you are able to turn off such data collection at any time by accessing the privacy settings of your device and/or through the settings in the applicable GPS application. Social Media You also can engage with our content, and other offerings, on or through social media services or other third-party platforms, such as Facebook, or other third-party social media plug-ins, integrations and applications. When you engage with our content on or through social media services or other third-party platforms, plug-ins, integrations or applications, you may allow us to have access to certain information in your profile. This may include your name, email address, photo, gender, birthday, location, an ID associated with the applicable third-party platform or social media account user files, like photos and videos, your list of friends or connections, people you follow and/or who follow you, or your posts or "likes." For a description on how social media services and other third-party platforms, plug-ins, integrations, or applications handle your information, please refer to their respective privacy policies and terms of use, which may permit you to modify your privacy settings.

When we interact with you through our content on third-party websites, applications, integrations or platforms, we may obtain any information regarding your interaction with that content, such as content you have viewed, and information about advertisements within the content you have been shown or may have clicked on. Information from Third Party Services We may also obtain other information, including personal information, from third parties and combine that with information we collect through our Websites. For example, we may have access to certain information from a third-party social media or authentication service if you log in to our Services through such a service or otherwise provide us with access to information from the service. Any access that we may have to such information from a third-party social media or authentication service is in accordance with the authorization procedures determined by that service. If you authorize us to connect with a third-party service, we will access and store your name, email address(es), current city, profile picture URL, and other personal information that the third party service makes available to us, and use and disclose it in accordance with this Policy. You should check your privacy settings on these third-party services to understand and change the information sent to us through these services. For example, you can log in to the Services using single sign-in services such as Facebook Connect or an Open ID provider.

III.    Your Ability To Control Cookies And Similar Technologies As noted, we may use cookies or similar technologies to monitor and improve iD Sites & Services, support the internal operations of iD Sites & Services, personalize your online experience, support the e-signature process, and/or for internal analysis. This includes the use of third-party cookies. We use these technologies to keep track of how you are using our iD Sites & Services and to remember certain pieces of general information. 

You have the ability to accept or decline cookies. Most web browsers automatically accept cookies, but you can usually modify your browser setting to decline cookies if you prefer. Check the “Tools” or “Help” tab on your browser to learn how to change your cookie and other tracking preferences.

If you choose to decline cookies, you may not be able to fully experience the functions of iD Sites & Services and/or some of our services will function improperly, in particular the inability to log in or manage items in your shopping cart. We do not share cookie data with any third parties. IV.   How We May Use Your Information We may use the information we collect from and about you and/or your student for any of the following purposes:

• Allow you to register yourself or your student with iD Sites & Services, or to otherwise register and open an account with us;
• Allow you and/or your student to use iD Sites & Services;
• Fulfill orders, process payments, and prevent transactional fraud;
• Respond to your or your student’s requests or inquiries;
• Provide you or your student with information about our products and services;
• Consider you for employment or a volunteer opportunity;
• Register you or your student in one of our programs;
• Verify your student's age;
• Monitor and improve iD Sites & Services, support the internal operations of iD Sites & Services, personalize your online experience, and for internal analysis;
• Protect the security or integrity of iD Sites & Services and our business;
• Facilitate the sale or potential sale of our business or any of our assets; or
• As required by law.

V.   How We Share Information We do not sell or otherwise share your or your student’s information with any third parties, except for the limited purposes described below. Parents/guardians of children under the age of 13 have the option of consenting to the collection and use of their child's personal information without consenting to the disclosure of that information to certain third parties.  

1.   Law Enforcement And Safety

We may access, preserve, and/or disclose the information we collect and/or content you and/or your student/child provides to us (including information posted on our forums) to a law enforcement agency or other third parties if required to do so by law or with a good faith belief that such access, preservation, or disclosure is reasonably necessary to: (i) comply with legal process; (ii) enforce the Terms and Conditions of iD Sites & Services; (iii) respond to claims that the content violates the rights of third parties; or (iv) protect the rights, property, or personal safety of the owners or users of iD Sites & Services, a third party, or the general public. We also may disclose information whenever we believe disclosure is necessary to limit our legal liability; to protect or defend our rights or property; or protect the safety, rights, or property of others.  2.   Service Providers; Colleges and Universities Information collected through iD Sites & Services may be transferred, disclosed, or shared with third parties engaged by us to handle and deliver certain activities, such as housing, meals, payment processing, mail/email distribution, software providers, and to perform other technical and processing functions, such as maintaining data integrity, programming operations, user services, or technology services. We may provide these third parties’ information collected as needed to perform their functions, but they are prohibited from using it for other purposes and specifically agree to maintain the confidentiality of such information. Some of these providers, such as payment processors, may request additional information during the course of offering their services. Before you provide additional information to third-party providers, we encourage you to review their privacy policies and information collection practices. 3.    Business Transfer During the normal course of our business, we may sell or purchase assets. If another entity may acquire and/or acquires us or any of our assets, information we have collected about you may be transferred to such entity. In addition, if any bankruptcy or reorganization proceeding is brought by or against us, such information may be considered an asset of ours and may be sold or transferred to third parties. Should a sale or transfer occur, we will use reasonable efforts to try to require that the transferee use personal information provided through our iD Sites & Services in a manner that is consistent with this privacy statement. VI.            Our Commitment To Children’s Privacy Protecting the privacy of children is paramount. We understand that users and visitors of our iD Sites & Services who are under 13 years of age need special safeguards and privacy protection. It is our intent to fully comply with the Children's Online Privacy Protection Act (COPPA). 

Our iD Sites & Services are intended for general audiences. We do not knowingly permit anyone under 13 years of age to provide us with personal information without obtaining a parent's or guardian’s verifiable consent, except where:

• the sole purpose of collecting the name or online contact information of a parent or child is to provide notice and obtain parental consent;
• the purpose of collecting a parent’s online contact information is to provide voluntary notice to, and subsequently update the parent about, the child’s participation in our iD Sites & Services that do not otherwise collect, use, or disclose childrens' personal information;
• the sole purpose of collecting online contact information from a child is to respond directly on a one-time basis to a specific request from the child, and where such information is not used to re-contact the child or for any other purpose, is not disclosed, and is deleted by us promptly after responding to the child’s request;
• the purpose of collecting a child’s and a parent’s online contact information is to respond directly more than once to the child’s specific request, and where such information is not used for any other purpose, disclosed, or combined with any other information collected from the child;
• the purpose of collecting a child’s and a parent’s name and online contact information, is to protect the safety of a child, and where such information is not used or disclosed for any purpose unrelated to the child’s safety;
• we collect a persistent identifier and no other personal information and such identifier is used for the sole purpose of providing support for the internal operations of iD Sites & Services; or
• otherwise permitted or required by law.

If we receive the verifiable consent of a child's parent or guardian to collect, use, and/or disclose the child's information, we will only collect, use, and disclose the information as described in this privacy statement. Some features of our iD Sites & Services permit a child user to enter comments, such as forums and chat rooms, through which the child could provide personal information that would be visible to other users. If you are the parent or guardian of a child user, please advise your child of the risks of posting personal information on this iD Sites & Services or any other site. VII.           Parental/Guardian Rights If you are a parent or guardian, you can review or have deleted your child's personal information, and refuse to permit further collection or use of your child's information. To exercise any of these rights, please email us at  [email protected] or send your request to:

iD Tech ∙ PO Box 111720 ∙ Campbell, CA 95011 Client Service Toll Free Number: 1-888-709-8324

VIII.         Restrictions On Child Users Children under 13 years of age are prevented from accessing areas of iD Sites & Services which include, but are not restricted to, client account information, unless approved by their parent or guardian and any course content defined as age inappropriate by the Entertainment Software Rating Board (ESRB). IX.            Forums And Chats We may offer forums and chat rooms. Please be aware that anyone may read postings on a forum or in a chat room. Furthermore, any information which is posted to a forum or chat room could include personal information, which would be disclosed and available to all users of that forum or chat room, and is therefore no longer private. We cannot guarantee the security of information that any user discloses or communicates online in public areas such as forums and chat rooms. Those who do so, do so at their own risk. We reserve the right to monitor the content of the forums and chat rooms. If age-inappropriate content or potentially identifiable information is seen, it may be removed or edited by us for security, privacy, and/or legal reasons. We will not republish postings from forums or chat rooms anywhere on the Web. X.             Links And Third Parties

At our discretion, we may include or offer third-party websites, products, and services on iD Sites & Services. These third-party sites, products, and services have separate and independent privacy policies. You should consult the respective privacy policies of these third parties. We have no responsibility or liability for the content and activities of linked sites, products, or services.

Our iD Sites & Services may contain links to other third-party websites, chat rooms, or other resources that we provide for your convenience. These sites are not under our control, and we are not responsible for the content available on other sites. Such links do not imply any endorsement of material on our part and we expressly disclaim all liability with regard to your access to such sites. Access to any other websites linked to from iD Sites & Services is at your own risk.  

XI.             Legal Basis for processing Personal Data and Your Data Protection Rights under the General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR)

If you are a resident of the European Economic Area (EEA), iD Tech’s legal basis for collecting and using your personal information as described in this policy depends on the personal Data we collect and the context in which we collect it.  ID Tech may process your personal data:

• To provide the services which you requested or purchased;
• Because you have given us permission to do so;
• To provide you with better services, including conducting audits and data analysis;
• For payment processing;
• For marketing; and 
• To comply with the law

You have certain data protection rights. iD Tech aims to take reasonable steps to allow you to correct, amend, delete or limit the use of your Personal Data.

If you wish to be informed about what Personal Data we hold about you and if you want it to be removed from our systems, please contact us at  [email protected] .

In certain circumstances, you have the following data protection rights:

• The right to access, update, or delete the information we have on you. Whenever made possible, you can access, update, or request deletion of your Personal Data directly within your account settings section. If you are unable to perform these actions yourself, please contact us to assist you.
• The right to have your information corrected if that information is inaccurate or incomplete.
• The right to object. You have the right to object to our processing of your Personal Data.
• The right of restriction. You have the right to request that we restrict the processing of your personal information.
• The right to data portability. You have the right to be provided with a copy of the information we have on you in a structured, machine-readable, and commonly used format.
• The right to withdraw consent. You also have the right to withdraw your consent at any time where iD Tech relied on your consent to process your personal information.

Please note that we may ask you to verify your identity before responding to such requests.

You have the right to complain to a Data Protection Authority about our collection and use of your Personal Data. For more information, please contact your local data protection authority in the European Economic Area (EEA). XII.           International Visitors  (non GDPR Locations) Our iD Sites & Services are operated and managed on servers located in the United States. If you choose to use our iD Sites & Services from the European Union or other regions of the world with laws governing data collection and uses that differ from the United States, then you recognize and agree that you are transferring your personal information outside of those regions to the United States and you consent to that transfer. XIII.          Data Security Commitment To prevent unauthorized access, maintain data accuracy, and ensure the correct use of information, we have put in place reasonable physical, electronic, and managerial procedures to safeguard and secure the information we collect. We also use Secure Sockets Layer (SSL) protocol on your account information and registration pages to protect sensitive personal information. Sensitive data is encrypted on our iD Sites & Services and when stored on the servers.

XIV. How You Can Access, Request A Copy, Correct, Or Ask For Information To Be Deleted Access to certain personal Information that is collected from our Services and that we maintain may be available to you. For example, if you created a password-protected account within our Service, you can access that account to review the information you provided.

You may also send an email or letter to the following email or call the number provided to ask for a copy, correction, or ask us to delete your personal Information. Please include your registration information for such services, such as first name, last name, phone, and email address in the request. We may ask you to provide additional information for identity verification purposes or to verify that you are in possession of an applicable email account. Email: [email protected] Phone: 1-888-709-8324 XV. How To Contact Us/Opting Out Of Electronic Communications If you have any questions or concerns about this Privacy Policy or if you have provided your email and/or address and prefer not to receive marketing information, please contact us via email or call at the number provided below.  Make sure you provide your name as well as the email(s) and address(es) you wish to have removed. 

If you have signed up to receive text messages from us and no longer wish to receive such messages, you may call or email us at the address provided below. Please provide your name, account email, and the number(s) you want removed. Email: [email protected] Phone: 1-888-709-8324 XVI.         Terms And Conditions Your use of our iD Sites & Services and any information you provide on our iD Sites & Services are subject to the terms of the internalDrive, Inc. (referred to as “iD Tech”) Terms and Conditions. XVII.         Privacy Statement Changes We will occasionally amend this privacy statement. We reserve the right to change, modify, add, or remove portions of this statement at any time. If we materially change our use of your personal information, we will announce such a change on relevant iD Sites & Services and will also note it in this privacy statement. The effective date of this privacy statement is documented at the beginning of the statement. If you have any questions about our privacy statement, please contact us in writing at [email protected] or by mail at PO Box 111720, Campbell, CA 95011. XVIII.          Your Credit Card Information And Transactions For your convenience, you may have us bill you or you can pay for your orders by credit card. If you choose to pay by credit card, we will keep your credit card information on file, but we do not display that information at the online registration site. For your security, your credit card security number is not stored in our system.

We use state-of-the-art Secure Socket Layer (SSL) encryption technology to safeguard and protect your personal information and transactions over the Internet. Your information, including your credit card information, is encrypted and cannot be read as it travels over the Internet. XIX.         Social Networking Disclaimer iD Tech provides several opportunities for social networking for both participants and staff on sites such as Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Flickr, and YouTube. These sites are not affiliated with iD Tech and offer their own individual social networking services. Please read the following Terms and Conditions carefully, as well as the Terms and Conditions of the sites in which iD Tech has created a forum ("Group"). These Terms and Conditions are a legal agreement between you and iD Tech and apply to you whether you are a visitor to these sites or any site with an official iD Tech affiliation. iD Tech is a member of several pre-existing sites (as mentioned above). There may be, however, portions of  www.iDTech.com  that include areas where participants can post submissions. Any of the above-mentioned "Sites" (or other similar sites) have their own distinct rules and regulations. iD Tech reserves the right to take action to remove any content deemed inappropriate by the sites or by iD Tech standards. iD Tech will not be held liable for any loss of content or disagreements that may arise between the individual social networking site and the user. You understand that by registering for an iD Tech program, your participant(s) may access and upload content to social networking sites. In order to access certain features of the social networking sites or pages on iDTech.com, and to post Member Submissions, the majority of these sites require that the user open an account with them. Please note that these sites have their own individual Terms and Conditions that must be followed. Age requirements are outlined within each Site's Terms and Conditions. You hereby authorize your participant to access social networking sites while at camp and create an account if they choose to do so and if they meet the requirements listed by each site to create an account. Interaction with other users:

• iD Tech is merely providing a medium in which to socialize online with fellow participants. Users are solely responsible for interactions (including any disputes) with other Members and any volunteers that may advise and assist participants with projects and activities via your use of the iD Site & Services.
• You understand that iD Tech does not in any way screen Members or review or police: (i) statements made by Members in their Member Submissions or the Member Submissions in general; or (ii) statements made by Users or any information a User may provide via the iD Site & Services.
• You understand that your participant(s) is solely responsible for, and will exercise caution, discretion, common sense, and judgment in using the various iD Sites & Services and disclosing personal information to other Members or Users. 
• On behalf of your participant(s), you agree that they will take reasonable precautions in all interactions with other Members, particularly if they decide to meet a Member offline or in person.
• Your participant's use of the social networking sites with which iD Tech is affiliated, their services, and/or Content and Member Submissions, is at your sole risk and discretion and iD Tech hereby disclaims any and all liability to you or any third party relating thereto.
• On behalf of your participant(s), you agree that they will not harass, threaten, intimidate, bully, stalk, or invade the privacy of any individual in connection with your use of the social networking sites with which iD Tech is affiliated and their services, whether or not an individual is an iD Tech Member; and you further agree not to advocate such activities or to encourage others to engage in any such activities.
• On behalf of your participant(s), you agree they will not give their social networking information to an iD Tech staff member.
• You and your participant(s) should also be aware that under no circumstances are iD Tech employees allowed to give personal contact information for social networking sites. This must be arranged by the participant's parent/guardian through the People Services Department.

XX.        Copyright & Intellectual Property Policy: You agree that you and your participant will not use the social networking sites to offer, display, distribute, transmit, route, provide connections to, or store any material that infringes copyrighted works, trademarks, or service marks or otherwise violates or promotes the violation of the intellectual property rights of any third party. internalDrive, Inc. has adopted and implemented a policy that provides for the termination in appropriate circumstances of the accounts of users who repeatedly infringe or are believed to be or are charged with repeatedly infringing the intellectual property or proprietary rights of others. XXI.       Disclaimer:   BY USING THE SOCIAL NETWORKING SITES OR SUBMITTING A MEMBER SUBMISSION, YOU AGREE THAT INTERNALDRIVE, INC. IS NOT RESPONSIBLE, AND WILL IN NO EVENT BE HELD LIABLE, FOR ANY: (A) LOST, ILLEGIBLE, MISDIRECTED, DAMAGED, OR INCOMPLETE MEMBER SUBMISSIONS; (B) COMPUTER OR NETWORK MALFUNCTION OR ERROR; (C) COMMUNICATION DISRUPTION OR OTHER DISRUPTIONS RELATED TO INTERNET TRAFFIC, A VIRUS, BUG, WORM, OR NON-AUTHORIZED INTERVENTION; OR (D) DAMAGE CAUSED BY A COMPUTER VIRUS OR OTHERWISE FROM YOUR ACCESS TO THE SITE OR SERVICES. THE SITE, SERVICES, INTERNALDRIVE, INC., CONTENT, AND MEMBER SUBMISSIONS ARE PROVIDED "AS IS" WITH NO WARRANTY OF ANY KIND. INTERNALDRIVE, INC. AND ITS SUPPLIERS EXPRESSLY DISCLAIM ALL WARRANTIES, EXPRESSED OR IMPLIED, REGARDING THE SITE, SERVICES, INTERNALDRIVE, INC., CONTENT AND MEMBER SUBMISSIONS, WHETHER THE PROVISION OF SERVICES OR YOUR SUBMISSION OF A MEMBER SUBMISSION WILL PRODUCE ANY LEVEL OF PROFIT OR BUSINESS FOR YOU OR LEAD TO ECONOMIC BENEFIT, INCLUDING ANY IMPLIED WARRANTY OF QUALITY, AVAILABILITY, MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE OR NON-INFRINGEMENT. IN ADDITION, INTERNALDRIVE, INC. MAKES NO REPRESENTATION OR WARRANTY THAT THE SITE OR SERVICES WILL BE ERROR FREE OR THAT ANY ERRORS WILL BE CORRECTED. SOME STATES OR JURISDICTIONS DO NOT ALLOW THE EXCLUSION OF CERTAIN WARRANTIES. ACCORDINGLY, SOME OF THE ABOVE EXCLUSIONS MAY NOT APPLY TO YOU. XXII.         Indemnification:   You agree to defend, indemnify, and hold iD Tech, its officers, directors, employees, and agents, harmless from and against any claims, liabilities, damages, losses, and expenses, including, without limitation, reasonable attorneys' fees and costs, arising out of or in any way connected with: (i) your access to or use of social networking sites, their services, iD Tech Content and Member Submissions; (ii) your violation of these Terms of Use; (iii) your violation of any third-party right, including, without limitation, any intellectual property right, publicity, confidentiality, property, or privacy right; or (iv) any claim that one of your Member Submissions caused damage to a third party or infringed or violated any third-party intellectual property right, publicity, confidentiality, property, or privacy right.

iD Tech Terms & Conditions

Id tech general terms & conditions publish date: october 26, 2023.

These Terms and Conditions apply to all pages found at www.idtech.com  and all Programs operated by internalDrive, Inc. (referred to as "iD Tech") including but not limited to iD Tech In-Person programs and iD Tech Online Programs. These terms apply to all lessons, classes, courses, and options offered by iD Tech (hereinafter referred to individually as “Program” or collectively “Programs”).

Privacy Policy: By using iD Tech’s website, registering you or your student for a Program, and/or affirmatively giving your agreement, you are agreeing on your own behalf and that of your student to abide and be bound by the Privacy Policy found HERE and the Terms and Conditions contained and referenced herein.

Online Programs: If you are purchasing, or you or your student is participating in an Online Program you also agree on your own behalf and on behalf of your student, to be bound by the additional terms and conditions found HERE .

On-Campus Programs: If you are purchasing, or you or your student is participating in, an On-Campus Program, you also agree on your own behalf and on behalf of your student to be bound by the additional terms and conditions found HERE .

I. Code of Conduct

To promote the best learning environment possible, all students and parents will be held to this Code of Conduct. Failure to comply with this Code of Conduct or engaging in actions or attitudes that seem to be harmful to the atmosphere, other participants, or staff, in the opinion of iD Tech can lead to removal from a Program or Program(s). iD Tech reserves the right to dismiss students from a Program and prevent a student from attending additional Programs without any prior warning for (1) violating any of the terms of this code of conduct, or (2) if iD Tech determines that a Program is not a suitable and/or productive environment for a student (this includes incidents in which a student does not have sufficient English language skills to participate in the Program; participation in courses requires a high level of English understanding). Refunds will not be given for students dismissed for failure of the student or the parent to abide by the Code of Conduct, or if it is determined that a Program is not suitable for a student. While iD Tech strives to maintain excellent relationships with students, in some rare cases, we may determine that iD Tech is not a compatible environment for every student.

Students and parents/guardians may NEVER:

• Disrupt, bully, intimidate, or harass others;
• Use inappropriate language (for example, students cannot use of swear or curse words, racial, gendered, homophobic/transphobic, stereotypical, or culturally insensitive words, even if done in a joking manner);
• View, display or post any inappropriate material (including sexual content, material depicting inappropriate violence, racism, bullying, etc.) during a Program;
• Share Program information (including lesson plans, etc.) with third-parties, without permission from iD Tech;
• Impersonate another person; or
• Contact instructors outside of the Program.

Students also may NEVER:

• Engage in Internet hacking;
• Create an account on or log into third-party websites without the permission of their instructor;
• Use false information to create an account on or log into third-party websites;
• Share personal information with staff members or ask staff members for their personal information;
• Share or create video or audio recordings of iD Tech staff or another student without the permission of iD Tech.

Students and parents/guardians MUST:

• Follow directions/instructions of iD Tech personnel;
• If online, ensure the student attends the Program in an appropriate, private setting;
• Dress appropriately during the Program;
• Adhere to the terms of use of any sites used, including following the specified age policies; and
• Only share material that is related to lessons and appropriate.

II. Age Policy

iD Tech offers Programs for students ages 7-19. Therefore, students may interact and/or room with a student that is within this age range including 18 or 19 years old. Please note the age range of the Program being registered for.

If a student is 18 or 19 years old and participating in an On-Campus Program, they must successfully pass a criminal and sexual offender background check prior to being allowed to attend. Clients are responsible for all costs and fees associated with any background checks required for a student to attend.

III. Special Accommodations

If a student requires an accommodation to participate, or needs an aid to attend in an iD Tech Program, a parent/guardian must call iD Tech at 1-888-709-8324, no less than three weeks prior to your student’s first day of the Program to make needed arrangements.

If a student requires an aide to participate in an iD Tech Program, the aide must be age 18 or older, may not be a family member, and if it is an On -Campus Program, the aide must successfully pass a criminal and sexual offender background check prior ro being allowed to attend with the student. Aides may also be subject to fingerprinting. Clients are responsible for all direct costs, including background check processing fees, parking, and compensation for the aide’s attendance.

IV. Payment Policy

• Unless otherwise noted, all financial transactions are made and quoted in U.S. Dollars.
• All Payment Plan Fees, fees paid for Online Programs, and the $250 per week deposit for On-Campus Programs are non-refundable and non-transferrable.
• Other than if iD Tech needs to cancel a class, there are no refunds, credits or replacement days for classes missed. If iD Tech needs to cancel a class, iD Tech will either provide you a pro rata credit or reschedule the canceled class(es).
• If iD Tech cancels an entire Program for any reason, the fees paid for the Program will be refunded, less the non-refundable fees, as set out above. Non-refundable fees (other than the Payment Plan Fee, if any) will remain in your account as a fully transferable credit that is valid for three (3) years.
• iD Tech has the right to charge a $25 late fee on any payments not paid by the due date. For balances that are over 30 (thirty) days past due, iD Tech has the right to charge a 1% monthly finance charge and send the balance to a collection agency for collection (collection agency and legal fees may apply).
• All fees (registration, administrative, late, etc.) must be paid prior to the start of a Program, unless a payment plan has been agreed to. Students will be withdrawn from a Program if the Program has not been paid in full prior to the start of the Program, or if at any time a payment is not paid by the due date. No refunds, credits, or make-up classes will be provided if a session is missed due to a delinquent payment.
• By agreeing to a subscription or payment plan, you are authorizing iD Tech to auto charge the credit card on file as agreed at the time of purchase and as set out in My Account.
• A $35 returned check fee will be assessed for any checks returned or card transactions that are not honored.

V. Reservation Changes

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By submitting my email address. i certify that i am 13 years of age or older, agree to recieve marketing email messages from the princeton review, and agree to terms of use., admissions officers reveal the worst college essay grammar mistakes.

We asked admissions officers at 18 colleges for their grammatical pet peeves. Make sure your college essay is free of these errors by sharing this list with your proofreader. We also offer proofreading help through our awesome online tutors!

• Confusing its & it's; your & you're; or there, their & they're
• Run on sentences & fragments
• Verb/noun agreement and verb tense
• Singular articles before plural nouns like “an alumni”
• Misusing “me” and “I”
• Split infinitives
• Ending a sentence with a preposition
• Missing apostrophes
• Incorrect use of semicolons (Tip: If you’re not sure about semicolons, avoid them all together.)
• Overuse of contractions
• Poor use of the word “got” or “get” (Tip: Don’t write “get” when you mean “understand”.)
• Too many exclamation points

Read More: 6 Handy Grammar Rules for Your College Application

Check out our video on how to perfect your college essay:

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19 Common Application Essay Mistakes and How to Avoid Them

Many students trip over common obstacles in their college application essays. For example, many students can’t see beyond the superficial prompt to construct an essay that positively communicates their personality and passion. Some students rehash their activities and achievements without adding the personal flavor, perspective and substance that admissions officers look for. Learn how to avoid these and other damaging traps.

As an independent college admissions consultant, I read many application essays and see many common application essay mistakes. Here’s some helpful advice:

• Select the Best Topic and Subject. The Common Application, as well as many individual college applications and supplements, give students a choice of essay topics. Resist the temptation to quickly make a selection. Instead make an inventory of your key experiences and achievements, adjectives that describe you, anything significant in your background, as well as what you can potentially “offer” (e.g. athletics, music, dance) a college. Then read the options carefully and decide which topic(s) provides the best opportunity to portray your self in a desirable manner. If the application requires more than one essay, select distinct topics and subject areas so the admissions people get a broader, and more complete, picture of you. If you are an athlete, for example, try not to write more than one essay about sports.
• Answer the Question. Read the prompt carefully and pay particular attention to two part questions. For example, if you choose to “evaluate a significant experience, achievement or risk you have taken and its impact on you”, make sure you thoughtfully and critically analyze both the situation and its impact. If you choose to “discuss an issue and its importance to you” make sure you focus on its importance to you. The admissions people are looking for a window into your character, passion and reasoning.
• Be Personable and Specific. Colleges don’t learn much from a generic essay. If you are asked to describe your reasons for your interest in a particular school that you are applying to, make sure your essay addresses the particular features of that school that appeal to you and explain why. Brainstorm with others. Don’t be afraid to think creatively. Don’t be afraid to reject ideas! Most strong essays have more “show” than “tell”.
• Make Your Essay The Right Length. Many prompts specify a desired number of words or a range. If it’s 200 to 250 words, don’t insert your 500 word essay. In fact, many on-line applications will not even accept more than the stated limit. If there is only an upper limit, don’t stress if your essay appears too short. Lincoln got his points across succinctly in the Gettysburg address — in less than 275 words. Be concise. Omit irrelevant details, clichés, and poorly developed ideas. Do not distract the reader with unnecessary words and repetition.
• Watch Your Tone. If you come across as a spoiled child, a stuck-up rich kid, lazy, sarcastic or a cynic, the admissions team might decide that you are not the right fit for their school. A bit of well placed humor is fine, but don’t try to be a comedian.
• Don’t Appear Self-Interested or Materialistic. While few applicants are genuinely altruistic, most colleges are turned off by students who appear more focused on what the school can do for them, rather than how they can benefit from the education and at the same time be a contributing member of the campus community. If you are applying to a business program, the average starting salary of recent graduates should not be your stated motivation for seeking admission!
• Don’t Rely on Your Computer’s Spell Checker. Applicants who rely solely on their computer’s spell check program may find themselves submitting applications with poor grammar and word choice. Just because everything is spelled properly doesn’t mean it is correct. A good way to catch mistakes is to read your essay very slowly and out loud.
• Don’t Overlook the Mundane. Some of the best and most memorable essays are based on a simple conversation between people. The impressions and takeaways from such a conversation can be extremely engaging and provide a valuable window into the personality and values of the writer. Some essays of this type center on a moment of enlightenment or illumination when the writer views life from a new perspective and/or gains new confidence.
• Skip the Volunteer Trip. Dedicated community service over a period of time can be a strong topic for an application essay. Volunteer day at the local park, or two weeks of school building in Africa, will probably not impress the admissions committee. They see many essays of this type. Not only is it difficult to stand out from the pack, but these experiences are often more about the experience than about you, or convey that money buys opportunity.
• Don’t Rehash the Resume. The admissions committee relies on essays to learn additional things about you such as your initiative, curiosity about the world, personal growth, willingness to take risks, ability to be self directed, motivation and ability to make the most of a situation. They are interested in your personal qualities such as leadership, confidence, ability to work in a team, strength of character, resilience, sense of humor, ability to get along with others and what you might add to the campus community. In short, use your essays to showcase a side of you not visible from other parts of the application.
• Peruse the Entire Application. Many applications, especially for some of the more competitive schools, are complex and require multiple essays and short answers. Don’t look at each question in a vacuum, but rather view the application holistically when deciding how to best portray yourself through responding to the various prompts. For example, if you have five key areas you wish to cover, and there are five essays, try to strategically focus on one area in each essay.
• Don’t Fall in Love with the Thesaurus. Resist the temptation to be a sesquipedalian or come across as a pedantic fop! There’s no need to use a big word in every sentence. Use caution when showing off your extensive vocabulary. You risk using language improperly and may appear insecure or overly eager to impress. Admissions people aren’t keen about picking up a dictionary to understand your essay. Worse yet, if your essay vocabulary is at a much higher level than what would be expected from your English grades and SAT/ACT scores, it may appear that your essay is not your own work. Most teenagers don’t use myriad and plethora in their daily vernacular.
• Check Your Ego at the Door. Even if you are impressed with yourself, most admissions officers don’t respond favorably to students who brag, put down classmates, or wax eloquent about their amazing achievements. While self doubt is generally undesirable, a bit of humility can be well received, especially in an essay about overcoming adversity.
• Accentuate the Positive. Few students have a perfect resume, which is apparent in the application. Drawing attention to weakness in an essay is generally not a good idea, unless you were able to overcome a weakness, and make it a strong suit.
• Proofread Carefully. Don’t let your eagerness to submit an application cause you to overlook careless mistakes. Errors can doom your otherwise excellent application. Make sure you schedule sufficient time for a thorough review. When possible, have at least one other person proofread your essay. They may catch something important that you missed. For example, you don’t want to tell Ohio State that you really want to be a Wolverine!  Again, read your essay out loud.
• Organize Your Essay. An impressive essay generally contains a strong opening, well organized content, and a powerful closing. If your essay lacks structure and seems to ramble, chances are it won’t impress the reader. Start with an outline and design your essay paragraph by paragraph. Make sure you include enough background information about whatever topic you are writing about so that the reader can put it into context. For example, one student wrote an excellent essay about a horrible first day of school, but forgot to include that he had just moved to town, from halfway around the world, and was struggling with English. Resist the temptation to run off and start writing. Experts will tell you that up-front planning of your essays is well worth the time invested. Not only will the quality of your essays be much higher, you’ll probably end up saving time in the long run!
• Research the College Before Writing the Essay. Almost every school has its own identity and mission. Some universities even have a slogan. Others have niche areas of study that they like to promote. Pay attention to what is important to the particular school and, when appropriate, consider including it in some manner in your essay.
• Invest in a Strong Introduction. Admissions people read a lot of essays and may not be energetic and fresh when yours reaches the top of their pile. That’s why it’s essential to attract their attention up front. It is critical that the first few sentences capture their interest. A boring opening may cause the reader to not pay close attention to the remainder of the essay. Design the introduction to draw them into your essay. A well-planned essay may omit some key details in the opening forcing the reader to pay close attention to the rest of the story.
• Start Early and Take Your Time. Don’t wait until the last minute. Application essays almost always take longer than you anticipate. Invest the time necessary to do it right. It should be your best work. Ask others to review your drafts and offer comments and suggestions. Take comments and suggestions seriously – behind every good writer is usually at least one good editor!

Author: Lynn Radlauer Lubell is the Publisher of InLikeMe.com, and the Founder of Admission By Design , a College Consultancy, based in Boca Raton, Florida.

Lynn Radlauer Lubell, Publisher of InLikeMe.com and Founder of Admission By Design, an Educational Consultancy based in Boca Raton, Florida.

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5 Common College Essay Mistakes to Avoid

The college essay is one of the key components of the college application, and it's required by most colleges and universities in the country. It's a great opportunity to share something with the admissions committee that isn't reflected in other parts of your application, or to further explain something that does appear in your application, such as a low grade or repeated class. There are also some errors that students frequently make when writing the college essay, and we want to ensure that you steer clear of them. So before you put your pen to that pad, or start typing, check out our list of common essay mistakes, and most importantly, what you can do to avoid them.

• Don't just rely on spell check. Whether it's a final paper or your college essay, it's very common to feel the urge to rely solely on spell check when proofing your writing. However, just because words are spelled correctly doesn't mean they make sense or are used properly. The best way to catch mistakes is to read your essay very slowly out loud. By reading it out loud, you may come across mistakes that you would have most likely overlooked by reading it through quickly.
• Read the essay question, thoroughly. Before you begin the writing process, take a step back to read the question. Don't only just read the question, but think about what the question is asking you to discuss, often in detail. Perhaps jot down a few notes that pertain to the question and can serve as an outline or blueprint to your essay. As high school counselor Jodi Then explains , "Make sure that the topic addresses the question! If the essay is off topic, you're conveying to the admissions committee that you can't follow directions. You might write a great essay, but if it's irrelevant to the topic or question, you'll raise a red flag."
• Make it personal. One key aspect of the college essay is to discuss something that may not be seen in your grades, activities, or letters of recommendation. Sharing something that is personal or something that has impacted you goes a long way. As you are writing your essay, ask yourself, "Am I opening up a window for the admissions officers to see who I am in this essay?"
• Do not plagiarize. As you may know from school, plagiarism is a critical offense that is taken very seriously. Many schools have software in which they can detect if you have taken your essay from on online source. If you're thinking of plagiarizing, simply don't do it. You don't want to put yourself in a predicament where your essay and college application could be tossed out.
• Use smart vocabulary. Many times, students rely on the college essay to showcase a vast vocabulary with grandiose words. However, it's important to be authentic. You want your essay to be a representation of who you are, how you speak, and incorporate words you generally use in conversation. Just be yourself.

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11 Cliché College Essay Topics + How to Fix Them

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What makes a good college essay? It’s a question many high school seniors ask while going through the application process. A winning college essay engages admissions officers and shares with them the student’s identity and personality, painting a picture that goes beyond grades and test scores—compelling the reader to become an advocate for the student’s admission. 

The Four Core Questions are at the heart of college essays and answering them is critical. Those questions are: 

• Why am I here?
• What is unique about me?
• What matters to me? 

By answering these questions, a student is able to share information that is otherwise hard to ascertain with admissions officials—things like personality traits, personal journey, interests, skills, and ambitions. A well-conceived and well-written essay is a way for students to separate themselves from other applicants; conversely, an ineffective essay does nothing to distinguish a student, which is why it’s so important to avoid writing a cliché college essay. 

Cliché College Essay Topics to Avoid + How to Fix Them

1. résumé of your life and achievements.

Résumés are an effective method to demonstrate achievements, but they’re boring to read. This is why, in the professional world, résumés are often accompanied by a cover letter. A college application is essentially a student’s résumé—it contains their grades, test scores, and extracurricular activities—which makes an essay listing achievements redundant. 

A better strategy is for students to pick one experience that stands above the rest and write about how it shaped the person they are today. This is especially effective for any experiences that would benefit from further explanation, or those that have an interesting backstory. For example, maybe you participate in a unique extracurricular that most people aren’t familiar with, such as being on a Chinese yoyo/diabolo team. You might choose to focus on that aspect of your identity and what it means to you. Or, maybe you love math, but never had the chance to explain on your application that you used to hate math, until a tutor showed you a different way to appreciate it (and that’s one of the reasons you want to become a math teacher). This would be another strong topic.

You don’t necessarily have to focus on one specific event, but your essay should be cohesive. Another traditional essay structure is telling a narrative over an extended period of time. This structure incorporates a handful of different experiences that are joined by a common thread. If you have a story of growth, change, or development, this is the classic essay structure for you. An example of this might be a football player who was embarrassed to admit he liked writing and poetry, but how he eventually became a published author, and came to accept and own his identity as a poet.

2. Sports injury, challenge, or success

Coaches on every level are known for telling their athletes about how the lessons learned on the field/court/ice translate to life. Unfortunately, these lessons and stories have been told in numerous movies and books, along with countless college essays

To successfully write a college essay about sports, it’s important to steer clear of the common themes.

• Overcoming adversity
• Trusting teammates
• Refusing to quit
• The thrill of victory
• The agony of defeat

For example, instead of an applicant talking about how their team trained and improved to beat their rivals or win a championship, they should write about a unique way that sports shaped who they are. For example, here’s an unexpected way to write about a sports injury: maybe tearing your ACL in a soccer game actually led you to start a podcast while you were recovering, which became one of your biggest passions. 

Along a similar line, a student could write about discovering their motivation for playing sports.  Maybe they always played basketball because they were good, or their parents expected them to play, but they realized they didn’t enjoy the competitive nature of the sport and wanted to gravitate toward less competitive activities like hiking or surfing. 

3. Immigrant story

The U.S. is a nation of immigrants and while not every student has an immigrant story, a lot of them do. Consequently, these immigrant themes are ones that every admissions officer has read before:

• Learning a new language
• Adapting to new customs
• Adjusting to a new lifestyle
• Struggling to fit in

Asian students, in particular, should avoid immigrant-themed essays, as they have a harder time getting into college due to demographics, and this topic only calls attention to their background. 

To make an immigration essay work (and avoid being another cliché college essay), a student needs to make it extremely unique or incredibly personal. One tactic is to write about a singular experience—moments of conflict are always an interesting topic. For example, a student might write about a time they were made to feel unwelcome in the U.S. and how they responded to that moment, such as volunteering at the community cultural center or creating a welcoming committee for new immigrants. 

Another essay opportunity is to write about an experience that is truly unique. Perhaps, when a student first came to the U.S., they didn’t have access to a vehicle or public transportation and needed to walk to school or their job. That student could use their college essay to focus on what they learned on their walks and the ambitions it sparked—such as tenacity to succeed against all odds, or a desire to found a program for immigrants in a similar position.  

4. Tragedy – death, divorce, abuse

Tragedies are formative experiences, which in theory make them a natural theme for a college essay; however, tragedies are often a universal experience. Furthermore, essays on this topic are too often centered on the tragedy itself, rather than the applicant.

It is possible to write a college essay about a tragedy that isn’t cliche, however. The key is to keep it focused on the applicant and highly personal. To start, avoid overused themes like “life is short” and “make every day count.” Instead, highlight how the tragedy affected the writer. For example, if you had a friend who passed away from substance abuse, an essay centered around your subsequent commitment to drug prevention programs and advocacy is an interesting angle. 

In the case of an applicant who had a parent pass away, writing about shifting family dynamics, new responsibilities, and increased challenges are all great themes. For example, a student went from worrying just about academics to becoming the other adult in the house—preparing meals for their siblings, sending them off to school, and helping them with their homework.

5. Working hard in a challenging class

Working hard in a challenging class doesn’t work as an essay topic for a handful of reasons. If you’re applying to a highly ranked institution, it’s likely that most of their applicants took tough classes and worked hard. They also likely faced challenging classes, struggled, and ultimately succeeded. Another reason to avoid this topic? The traits conveyed are likely covered by recommendation letters: 

• Perseverance
• Work ethic 
• Intellectual ability

Instead of writing your essay about overcoming a tough class, think about the personality traits you want to highlight. If you feel that your determination is already covered in other aspects of your application, pick another trait to feature in your essay. Or maybe, you feel like your determination isn’t emphasized enough. Which other experiences highlight this trait?

Another idea is to make the essay less about the class and more about the writer. Instead of sharing how you struggled to understand Crime and Punishment in your advanced lit class, you might detail how the class inspired a desire to write, or how the works covered made you reflect on your own life. 

You could also pick a problem or research question you want to solve, as per the fourth Common App essay prompt. Just remember that while the topic is an intellectual problem, your essay should still highlight your personality, identity, and way you think about the world. Pick something that is deeply personal to you and your background. For instance, maybe you want to create a proposal to solve food deserts in your county. This would allow you to share your personal experiences growing up in a food desert, your passion for increasing access to healthy food, and your analytical abilities.

6. Someone you admire (a person you know or historical figure)

The primary pitfall of writing about an admired person is that the essay is often focused more on the other person than the applicant. Even if students steer the essay toward themselves, they usually find themselves covering familiar themes:

• Learning something about themselves
• Learning something about life
• Learning something about the world

The key to keeping writing about another person from becoming another cliché college essay is to keep the focus on the applicant. A great way to do this is to highlight a specific moment where they exemplified an attribute or action that they commend in a person that they admire. For example, if an essay writer admires their father’s ethos of standing up for what is right, an excellent essay theme is the time they stood up for another student who was being bullied, even though they knew they risked losing popularity, or finding themselves in the crosshairs of the bully as the result. 

If the person they admire is historical, they can talk about how they are trying to live their life according to those ideals. For example, the aspiring writer can focus their essay on how they adopted Hemingway’s ritual of writing every morning as soon after first light as possible, and what they’ve learned from that process. 

7. Volunteer trip

Building a winning essay about a volunteer trip is tricky—at best, these essays come off as cliché; at their worst, they can make an applicant seem pretentious, condescending, and privileged. Like other topics, the key is for the writer to focus on themself, not the group they volunteered for or the place they went. 

One way to avoid the cliché volunteer essay is to write about a specific moment on your trip, rather than giving a chronological account of your time. Get really specific and bring the reader into the moment and share with them how it affected you. An attention-grabbing essay will show the reader how you changed, instead of telling them. 

Another trick for turning volunteer essays from cliché to eye-catching is focusing on an unusual experience that happened during the volunteer trip. For example, a delayed flight while travelling home that left you stranded in a foreign city all alone and how it’s a parable for stepping on campus for the first time.

8. Moving to a different part of the country 

Similar to the immigrant story, writing about moving to a new place is also an overly-done topic. Countless students move or switch schools each year. Many have trouble fitting in or adjusting to a new place, but eventually make new friends. 

If moving was really integral to your high school experience and identity, think about why that is. Did it push you to try new interests or become more outgoing? Focus your essay less on the move itself and your adjustment, and more on how exactly it changed your life. 

For instance, some more original ways of spinning this topic would be:

• How moving led you to start an organization that picks up unwanted furniture for free, and resells or donates items in good condition. For items in bad condition, you find ways to repair and upcycle them. This was motivated by all the trash you saw your family produce during the move.
• At your new school, you joined the gymnastics team because you were known as the uncoordinated, awkward girl at your old school, and you wanted to shed that image.
• After moving, you decided to go by the proper pronunciation of your Spanish name, rather than the anglicized version. You could write your essay on why you made this decision, and how it impacted your experience in your new community.

9. Your religious institution or faith

Religion is generally a very tricky topic, and it’s difficult to cover it in an original way in your essay. Writing about your faith and reflecting on it critically can work, but basic religious essays about why your faith is important to you are a little more clich é . 

It’s important to also remember your audience. If you’re applying to a religious school, essays about your faith will likely be expected. If you’re applying to a super liberal school, you might want to avoid writing your essay about your conservative religious views.  

Regardless of your situation, if you decide to write an essay on religion, share your personal relationship with your faith. Anyone can write broadly about how much their faith means to them or how their life changed when they found religion, but only you can share your personal experiences, thoughts, and perspectives.

10. Romantic relationships and breakups

Your college essays should be personal, but romantic relationships and breakups are a little too personal. Remember that applying to college is kind of like applying to a job, and you want to present yourself in a professional light. This means that writing about your romantic life is a bad idea in general. 

Unlike the other clich é topics, there are not really any directly-relevant alternatives. If you wanted to write your essay on your relationship, think about what traits that story would’ve brought out. For a breakup, was it your ability to overcome a setback? For a happy relationship, is it being emotionally intelligent or finding a compromise during conflict? Think about how you could still write an essay that conveys the same aspect of your identity, without mentioning this cliché topic.

11. Family pressure to pursue a particular major or field

Many students unfortunately experience family pressure to do certain activities or choose specific career paths. If this is the case for you, you shouldn’t focus your essay on this topic—it will only make it look like you lack independence from your parents. This is not a good sign to admissions committees, as they want a campus full of students who have the autonomy to make their own decisions. 

That’s not to say that parental input isn’t valid—you may have very legitimate reasons to follow your parents’ advice to pursue a particular career, especially if your family is low-income and you need to provide for them. But there are absolutely better topics to share your identity and background, beyond parental pressure.

Some ways to make this topic more original are:

• If you have strict parents, discussing how you became more independent from them, and an example of when you did something for your personal development that they might not have agreed with at the time.
• For those whose background influenced their decision to choose a “practical” field, you might talk about your situation growing up and how that influences your perspective and choices. Of course, you should still try to show genuine interest in your plans, as you don’t want to make it seem like you’re being “forced” to do something. 

Wondering if your personal essay topic is cliché? You can ask for the advice of peers and experts in our free  Q&A forum . If you’re looking for feedback on your essay, you can also get your essay  peer-reviewed for free . Just  sign up for your free CollegeVine account  to get started!

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Your chance of acceptance, your chancing factors, extracurriculars, common mistakes in college essays.

What's up, everyone? I'm starting to work on my college essays and I want to avoid common pitfalls that could make my essay look bad. Does anyone have examples of what NOT to do when writing a college essay? Any advice would be really helpful! Thanks!

Hey there! It's great that you're being proactive about avoiding common mistakes in your college essays. I'm happy to provide you with some examples and advice on what NOT to do when writing your essay:

1. Overused Topics: Avoid cliché topics like sports injuries, coming-of-age experiences, and sob stories about overcoming challenges. Those types of essays tend to be less engaging and fail to stand out among applicants. Instead, try to focus on personal, unique stories that showcase your personality and perspective.

2. Generic Writing: Stay away from generic statements or platitudes that don't actually say anything insightful about you. For instance, starting your essay with something like "I've always been passionate about..." is too vague and won't hook the reader. Begin your essay with an engaging anecdote or a creative hook that showcases your personality right from the start.

3. Not Being Authentic: Don't try to write what you think the admissions officers want to hear. Instead, be genuine and honest about your experiences, opinions, and goals. Your authenticity will shine through, and it's what will make your essay stand out.

4. Overusing Thesaurus: Using big, fancy words just for the sake of it often leads to awkward sentences and a fake, impersonal tone. Stick to your natural voice and use language that you're comfortable and familiar with.

5. Lack of Focus: Stay on topic and keep your essay focused on a central theme or idea. Avoid rambling or trying to include too many unrelated points. The reader should have a clear understanding of the message you're trying to convey.

6. Poor Grammar: It seems obvious, but it's crucial to proofread your essay for grammar, punctuation, and spelling errors. These minor mistakes can make your essay look unpolished and reflect poorly on you. Having someone else look over your essay can also help catch errors you might have missed.

7. Not Following Instructions: Make sure you're answering the specific essay prompt and adhering to the word count. Failing to do so could give the impression that you're not detail-oriented or didn't take the process seriously.

8. Negativity: While it's okay to discuss challenges and setbacks, avoid focusing solely on the negative aspects. Show how you've grown from those experiences and frame them in a positive light.

In short, the key to writing a successful college essay is to be authentic, focused, and engaging. Choose a unique topic and stay true to your voice, while avoiding overused themes and clichés. Best of luck with your college essays!

About CollegeVine’s Expert FAQ

CollegeVine’s Q&A seeks to offer informed perspectives on commonly asked admissions questions. Every answer is refined and validated by our team of admissions experts to ensure it resonates with trusted knowledge in the field.

Don’t Make These Mistakes in Your College Essay

We have been reading admissions essays for over thirteen years now, and we have identified the three most common mistakes students make while writing their college essays. So don’t:

Repeat the prompt in your essay

You only have so many words, sometimes as many as 1,000 in the case of Villanova , and sometimes as few as 150 in the case of Harvard . Don’t waste words regurgitating the same prompt admissions officers have already read a thousand times. They know the prompts by heart, trust us. Also, it’s plain boring! Start your essay off with something that hooks the reader, not puts them to sleep. 

Try to sound like an academic

You’re a teenager with a soon-to-be High School diploma, admissions officers aren’t expecting you to sound like the most well-read PhD student on the planet! Word choice is important to convey meaning and capture the moment, but there’s no need for you to be using words you wouldn’t use in everyday life. It will come off as phony and manufactured.

Use cliches

We know you know cliches are on the outs, but it bears repeating, don’t use cliches! Your grandma might think you’re the diamond in the rough, one in a million, and a needle in a haystack (and you may very well be!), but find another way to describe yourself that doesn’t include phrases old ladies use over bridge. There are other ways to emphasize your uniqueness. 

Do you prefer getting your information in video format? Check out our video on this topic below!

About Kat Stubing

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Written by Kat Stubing

Category: Admissions , advice , College Admissions , Essay Tips , Essay Writing , Supplemental Essays , Tips , Uncategorized

Tags: Admissions , admissions essay , College , college admissions , college admissions essay , college application help , college applications , college essay , college essay advice , college essay advising , college essay advisors , college essay help , essay help , essay mistakes , essay prompts , essay tips , essay writing , essay writing help , personal statement , writing mistakes

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